


What We Were Promised

by Mistehri



Series: 「 ABO 」: Adventures of Soonyoung & Jihoon [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alpha Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Alpha Kim Mingyu, Alpha Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Alpha Lee Chan | Dino, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Beta Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Beta Jeon Wonwoo, Beta Lee Seokmin | DK, Beta Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Beta Yoon Jeonghan, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Bonding, Bottom Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Character Death, Come Marking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Family Secrets, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Gun Violence, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Angst, Knotting, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi is Whipped, Lee Jihoon | Woozi & Min Yoongi | Suga are Related, Lee Jihoon | Woozi is Whipped, M/M, Marking, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Minor Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Minor Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Multi, Omega Boo Seungkwan, Omega Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Omega Xu Ming Hao | The8, Other, Power Bottom Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Scent Marking, Secret Relationship, Stabbing, Swearing, Top Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Violence, Weapons, Wedding Fluff, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2020-11-02 12:17:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 186,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistehri/pseuds/Mistehri
Summary: There’s only so much Soonyoung can take before he breaks under the pressure of the mafia house rules. If it weren’t for Jihoon, he would’ve been fine but alas, he’s stupidly in love with the omega and it’s only a matter of time before his love puts them both in danger.





	1. Origination

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Ce qui nous a été promis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306548) by [WooziNation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WooziNation/pseuds/WooziNation)
  * Inspired by [Xernia: Return Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272464) by [Winter Waters (mystmae)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystmae/pseuds/Winter%20Waters). 
**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Origination  
/əˌrijəˈnāSH(ə)n/
> 
> noun 
> 
> 1\. the beginning or creation of something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ FIRST!
> 
> So a few quick disclaimers for a better understanding of the book:
> 
> 1\. This book may contain graphic violence, language, and sexual content. Please read at your own viewer discretion.
> 
> 2\. If you came because of the BTS or ATEEZ tags, they will rarely appear in the book, BTS more so than ATEEZ. This fic is mainly Seventeen. They’ll appear more towards the end, my fellow ARMY’s and Atiny’s. (Namjoon appears in the first chapter though.)
> 
> 3\. This is just a fiction of my imagination. I’m not sure how the mafia business works or the rules, but here’s my take on it. The codes you’ll see throughout the chapter are legit though, so have fun deciphering them! Information about the members, like how Soonyoung lives in Maseok, I’ve referred back to Going Seventeen episodes too!
> 
> 4\. I apologize if the timeline is heading too slowly or too quickly. These timelines are also according to the day I wrote the chapter. Cool, right? I began this in June and haven’t posted it since, lol.
> 
> 5\. I APOLOGIZE IF THERE’S PLOT HOLES. I’ve tried my best to read and re-read everything and hopefully, everything goes according to plan. Please read this fic carefully because it’s very loaded with information that may be confusing and if you notice something’s not right or I added something that WASN’T supposed to be there, or I didn’t add something that WAS supposed to be there, please point it out for me because I’m kind of stupid. I did use a map for all these locations so if you need reference, please do Google these places for a better understanding. I also apologize for any typos, bear with me here. 
> 
> 6\. Action scenes are NOT my strong point and neither is angst. I’m sorry of some of the scenes suck and some chapters are too fluffy but I’m soft for Soonhoon.
> 
> 7\. Inspired by Winter Waters (mystmae)’s Xernia: Return Home, just with A/B/O dynamics. 
> 
> 8\. Have fun catching all the song references in future chapters :)
> 
> If you’re still confused or need me to explain anything, don’t hesitate to comment or PM me! And for the sake of my grades, I will be updating this only once a week every Saturday.
> 
> Now, before I give anymore spoilers, I’ll stop my fingers now, haha.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HEADQUARTERS**

**July 12, 2019**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

“Boss, you wanted to see me?” Seungcheol asks, poking his head through the door dubiously. “I was told it was urgent."

“Seungcheol, yes,” Namjoon says warmly, waving the younger man inside. “Come in, come in. Thank you for coming so quickly, and yes — you heard right. It is an urgent matter, one that needs to be dealt with as quickly as you came in."

Namjoon is an easy person to please; get the job done, you’re good, but one wrong move can automatically enroll you on his hit list. Seungcheol, although a fellow alpha and a good acquaintance with the older man, knows that his role doesn’t mean anything to him, especially in the mafia business. He’s witnessed first-hand what could happen if you fall victim to Kim Namjoon and it isn’t a pretty experience.

Seungcheol bows respectfully, just for good measure, then makes his way to sit down on one of the leather armchairs in front of the older man. On the desk between them, there’s a manila folder filled with a thick stack of files. The sight of it gives Seungcheol limited possibilities on what’s about to happen.

“A new mission?” he asks, his interest piquing. “Who's it this time? Black Spades? Vice Lords? Devil Hour?"

“No, no, and no,” Namjoon answers, his lips curling up as he nudges the manila folder in Seungcheol’s direction. “Lately, there have been many reports of deaths and fires happening in Namyangju, I’m sure you’ve heard. As you know, the fires have been rapidly spreading throughout the region and nobody knows what’s causing it, especially with how cold and damp it’s been lately despite the summer. The last fire happened just three days ago and it looks like it's heading towards Yangpyeong. The people started evacuating the area in search of a safer place because they're worried."

Seungcheol leans forward and opens the manila folder, eyes skimming through the files. There are pictures showing men, women, and even children, all with similar death dates ranging from June 25 to July 11. As far as his brain can process, the fires are the cause for most of the deaths, but there are also different causes to take into account: gunshots, stab marks, silver — miscellaneous deaths.

“What about the miscellaneous deaths?” the alpha questions as much, flipping through more files. “Are they connected with the fires somehow or is it something else entirely?"

“That’s the thing,” Namjoon sighs, leaning forward and resting his chin on the back of his hands. “Police reports have shown that some people weren’t even in the area where the fire happened. They’re still trying to investigate all the incidents as we speak, but it’s likely they won’t get anywhere. All the gunshots, stab marks, silver— they don’t know who’s causing it. Whoever is doing the dirty work is doing a good job at hiding their tracks."

“So you’re implying it might be a new gang,” Seungcheol says, although he’s not really asking. “Or at least someone in the business."

“Correct.” Namjoon nods in agreement. “It’s more of a possibility it’s a new gang and that someone has multiple men scattered across the region to start the fires. Nobody on their own can cause fires that quickly."

Seungcheol closes the folder and purses his lips. “If the fire started in Namyangju, I’d think it would head towards Seoul. Surely, this so-called gang knows that the capital accommodates the most people. If their objective is to kill, it'd be here, wouldn’t it?"

“That’s what I thought too,” Namjoon sighs, shaking his head. He pulls out a map from his drawer and rolls it across the desk, pointing at Yangpyeong. “However, if the fires have started heading towards Yangpyeong, that would mean they have a specific location in mind. If the fires continue south, that would mean hitting either Yongin, Yeoju, or Wonju."

Seungcheol follows Namjoon’s finger, eyes straying down the map. When he looks further down, his eyebrows furrow in disbelief. “You don’t think their target is Daegu or Busan?"

“It may also be Gwangju or Daejeon,” Namjoon says, pointing at four of the six largest cities of South Korea, “and since Incheon is by Seoul, there’s no reason for us to worry unless the fires head back north."

“What about the deaths?” Seungcheol inquires. “If there’s a chance they aren't related to the fires, why would they kill people?"

“It’s probably an impulsive mentality,” Namjoon answers, rolling the map bad up and placing it back in his drawer. “Very few gangs kill people. Most are in the business for money or drugs. Some are in it to protect others and work along the forces like we are. The less people they have to deal with, the more easier it is for them to achieve their goal — at least, that’s what seems plausible for now. We don’t have much more information on them, other than the fact that it's possible for them to start the fires and kill people to their advantage."

“I see,” Seungcheol says, blowing out a breath as he sinks back in the leather armchair. “Why fires though? I’m not saying they should, but wouldn’t it be more efficient and less eye-catching to not make their efforts known to the public?"

“It seems sensible enough as a distraction,” Namjoon mutters, copying Seungcheol’s actions. “If everyone focuses on the fires, nobody will see their intentions. Without the fires, they’re more likely to get exposed. Only the police is aware of what’s going on, along with us now. It’ll only cause a panic if they release a statement."

“What role am I playing this time?"

Namjoon smiles at the underlying acceptance. “I need you to go to Namyangju and cover as much ground there as possible to gather all the information you can. If the fires continue throughout Yangpyeong, follow after it. We just need to follow those fires and stop it, along with whoever is creating them before it can reach any of those cities. It’s likely that those fires are some sort of signal to set another one off."

Seungcheol nods. “Okay, I’ll relay the news to my team as soon as possible,” he says firmly. “Anything else?"

“Actually,” Namjoon begins, and there’s a glint in his eye that doesn’t sit well with the younger alpha, “there is a small...exception, if you will. You’re going to absolutely hate the idea, and possibly want to strangle me later, but we need to get this mission done as soon as possible, so I need all hands on deck."

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait ― “ Seungcheol splutters, perking up as he narrows his eyes. “_A__ll_ hands on deck? Don’t tell me ― "

Namjoon fixes him with a sheepish grin. “It’s exactly what I mean. If we want to stop the gang from killing anyone else as soon as we can, I’ll need to add Kwon and Lee to the roster as well. Soonyoung is from Maseok, in Namyangju, so he’ll know the place best. His team is well-known for scouting without hassle. As for Jihoon, his team is best at hacking and espionage, which is essential to finding out what the gang’s intentions are."

Even though he hasn’t started said mission, Seungcheol can already feel the beginnings of a headache creeping up on him. It’s small, barely there, but it’s still there, and he knows it’ll only grow bigger the more he gets involved with the mission. He puts his elbow on the desk and rests his forehead on the palm of his chin, slowly breathing in and out of his nose.

Working with both Soonyoung and Jihoon is like setting himself up for babysitting his neighbor’s cats: a disaster. As far as he knows, the other two leaders have been at each other’s throats ever since their last group mission in Nae-ri. Even when he’s worked with each leader individually, it’s like they’ve taken whatever they fought about in Nae-ri with them. He’s been on the receiving end of _Soonyoung’s a fucking asshole_ and _Jihoon’s a little prick_ numerous times while working on missions with them, and he doesn’t understand what happened.

“You do know Jihoon and Soonyoung hate each other, right?” Seungcheol questions, looking pleadingly up at his boss. “It’s gonna be a bitch just getting them to agree going on the mission, much less the actual mission. Why can’t I just work with one of their teams and not the other?"

“Trust me, I think this mission will require all of you, especially with how quick and big the fires are,” Namjoon says. “It is especially beneficial on our side that Soonyoung and Jihoon are in on it too. Unless their relationship puts a strain on the mission, I will not call quits until the gang is in their rightful place in prison. If you are in need of help, I have my team ready as backup and Hongjoong’s team on dial."

Seungcheol sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “With all due respect, hyung, is putting Soonyoung and Jihoon really the smartest decision? They haven’t gotten along a few months after the mission in Nae-ri, and they won’t tell me what happened after that either."

“Never once have I been wrong in my instinct,” Namjoon states, rather proudly. “I have a feeling this mission will fix whatever trouble they're going through . Now, enough chit-chat, we need to start as soon as possible. I will have all the information delivered to you and the team as soon as you’ve rounded them up. If that is all your complaints, you are dismissed."

Seungcheol tries to quell his exasperated sigh as he nods, stands up and bows. “I won’t disappoint you."

Namjoon smiles. “You never do."

Seungcheol straightens up, turns around and walks out of the room. His groan is audible as he whips his phone out to text his team, along with Soonyoung and Jihoon. He’s practically setting himself up for hell.

_ It’s going to be a long three weeks. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter down! If you were expecting Soonhoon in this, wait until the second chapter, haha. For now, everything will start to go downhill :)
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “I hope this mission will be much more successful than last time. I’m looking forward to working with all of you,” Soonyoung says as he stands up and bows. When he raises himself up, he shoots a pointed look in Jihoon’s direction and adds, “Most of you, anyway."
> 
> Jihoon scowls as Soonyoung leaves the room, his team following after him as they bow on their way out. He stands up as soon as the doors slide close. “Fucking prick,” Jihoon mutters under his breath, then glances at Seungcheol. “I look forward to working with you as well. I can’t say the same about Kwon, but hopefully he’s not much of an idiot this time around."


	2. Exordium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exordium  
/iɡˈzôrdēəm,eɡˈzôrdēəm/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the beginning or introductory part, especially of a discourse or treatise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell, why did this week feel so long? Anyone else get that feeling or was it just me?
> 
> A-knee-ways...
> 
> An even longer chapter this time :) If the places become too confusing, I’ve used Google Maps as a reference, haha.
> 
> ALSO
> 
> Vote for Seventeen in MAMA 2019! You can vote on either the website or Twitter with the hashtags #MAMA2019 and #seventeen (Make sure the ’s’ is lowercase!) Retweets are counted as a vote too! Last time I checked, we were 6th place in almost every category Seventeen was in but I checked just a few seconds ago to vote and we’re either 3rd/4th/5th places now! Keep voting so we can get them a daesang this year!
> 
> Categories they’re nominated for:
> 
> \- Artist of the Year - 5th place  
\- Song of the Year - 4th place  
\- Worldwide Fans’ Choice - 5th place  
\- Best Male Group - 3rd place  
\- Best Dance Performance Male Group - 3rd place (We can get them a 3rd consecutive win, right?)
> 
> Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> I heard as long as Seventeen is in the top 3, we’ll be fine but let’s not be lazy, Carats! Keep voting no matter what :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**SIMULATION ROOM**

**JULY 12, 2019**

**Location: **Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision: **Jung-dong

”Shoot."

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

“Hyung,” Chan gasps excitedly, lowering the gun, “I did it! I hit all the bullseye!"

“You won’t be hitting those bullseye anymore if you become distracted like that,” Soonyoung scolds, raising Chan’s arm again. “Remember, you won’t have time to enjoy your victories when you’re out there in the real world. You’d get shot in an instant if you even look away for a split second. Again."

“Sorry, hyung,” Chan sighs dejectedly, aiming for his target.

Soonyoung takes a seat on the bench next to Junhui, eyeing Chan’s form as the young alpha begins to shoot the dummies relentlessly, determination clear on his face.

Ever since their last two missions, Soonyoung has been adamant on training his team to the fullest, making sure they strengthened individually as well as a group. Their last mission was a little on the difficult side, with Minghao being caught in a crossfire and Junhui almost being caught. Soonyoung had blamed himself, for the lack of communication that was usually well served. He had been too distracted trying to warn Chan about a sniper that was aiming for him that he didn’t think about his other two teammates. In the end, Soonyoung pushed the youngest out of the way and had ended up with a gunshot wound to his shoulder, which put him out of commission for months. Chan, of course, had felt extremely guilty for being so careless, which led to Soonyoung scheduling them for simulations to train and become better.

“Don’t be so hard on him,” Junhui says, snapping Soonyoung out of the memory. “He just wants to make you proud."

“I am proud of him,” Soonyoung says quietly, leaning back against the bench. “I’m not trying to _make_ him feel guilty. It’s my own fault for being overwhelmed anyway. He had nothing to do with what happened."

“Well, he’s still feeling guilty,” Junhui retorts, crossing his legs. “You could, I don’t know, at least praise him every once in a while. He really looks up to you as his role model. Don’t know why, 'cause you’re an absolute idiot sometimes."

“Hey!” Soonyoung exclaims, terribly offended. He swats Junhui’s shoulder, frowning when the beta snickers. 

“Just saying,” Junhui shrugs, but there’s a teasing smirk on his lips. “Anyway, Hao texted me a few minutes ago, said he’s coming with the food. You might as well call it quits for today before Chan burns out."

Soonyoung nods in agreement. They’ve been in the simulation room for three hours now, and for the last hour, they’ve been training Chan to use guns. Although the youngest specializes in daggers and knives, Soonyoung thinks it would be beneficial to make sure he’s well-rounded, to make sure another gunshot-to-the-shoulder incident won’t happen again.

“Chan-ah,” Soonyoung calls loudly, making sure the maknae can hear him through the headphones. “I’m calling it quits. Hao-Hao is coming back with food, so we’ll eat and head back to the dorms after."

“Okay, hyung,” Chan says obediently, taking off his gear and setting the gun in its holder against the wall. He sits next to Soonyoung, looking at him with wide, hopeful eyes. “How’d I do today? I know I missed a couple of shots but I’ll get better soon, I promise."

Soonyoung can’t find it in himself to deny the younger, especially with what Junhui said earlier. The thought of the youngest blaming himself for the incident, even while he’s still training and probably has a shitload of stress on his shoulders, is enough to make Soonyoung feel a little guilty for being so harsh.

Instead, he swings an arm around Chan and gives him a good noogie. “You did great, squirt,” he says playfully, ignoring Chan’s protests. “I know you’ll get better, I have no doubt. We’ll do great on our next mission."

“Hyung,” Chan whines, finally able to push himself away from the older alpha. 

The door opens and Minghao walks in, three bags of takeout food in his hands. “The ahjumma who owns the restaurant gave me another bag of food for free,” he says, setting the bags on the coffee table in front of the bench, “Said I was too skinny, even for an omega. I think she thought I was eating these by myself. I tried to give it back but she was so insistent, I gave up."

“There's no homeless around the area?” Junhui asks, although his eyes are sparkling at the sight of the third bag. “You could’ve given the extra."

“I couldn’t find any,” Minghao shrugs, taking the takeout boxes out of the bags. “Besides, don’t lie. You love food. Don’t think I didn’t see how big your eyes got when you saw it."

Soonyoung breaks apart a pair of chopsticks and opens the box. His mouth waters at how delicious the food looks and he digs in immediately. 

“So what’s tomorrow’s schedule, hyung?” Chan asks, mouth full of noodles. “Am I still on gun control?"

“Yeah,” Soonyoung answers, shoving a tofu in his mouth, “I’ll have you go into simulation with Junhui and we’ll see what happens from there. If you guys are up for it, we can have a sparring session the day after. If all goes well, I might consider giving you guys an off day. We’ve been working hard lately."

The other three cheer at the sound of an off day. They haven’t had one in a while, and with all the training lately, it’s safe to say they deserve it. However, their joy is short-lived when Soonyoung’s phone pings, and his phone usually only pings when there’s a mission to handle.

“Who is it?” Junhui asks quietly, watching the leader pick up his phone.

Soonyoung frowns when he reads the text. “It’s Seungcheol-hyung. He says we have to meet him at the Headquarters tonight, but that’s the thing ― Seungcheol-hyung didn’t say anything explaining what we’re doing."

“It must be urgent then,” Minghao concludes. “He really didn’t say anything about the mission?"

“Nope,” Soonyoung shakes his head.

“Does that mean no off day?” Chan groans, huffing in dismay.

“Sorry, squirt,” Soonyoung says, smiling apologetically. Junhui and Minghao laugh at the maknae’s expression. “Don’t worry though, when we’re done with this mission, I’ll make do with a free week. How does that sound?"

“It sounds so far away,” Chan says mournfully, and the Chinese duo laugh harder. 

Soonyoung shakes his head again, chuckling. “Lee Chan, what are we gonna do with you?"

―

**HEADQUARTERS**

** JULY 12, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

The team find themselves walking back to the Headquarters half an hour later. It’s dark out, just a few minutes past 7 o’clock and they may have encountered a random creep or two, but they don’t have anything to worry about. When you’re part of a mafia, dealing with creepy strangers is like swatting a fly ― easily handled. The only thing they really need to watch out for is potential enemies from other mafias they haven’t encountered, especially when they live in the country’s capital.

They get inside the building without much of a hassle and make their way across the lobby and to the elevator. Nobody is inside when the doors slide open, so Soonyoung quickly scans his card and fingerprint before punching in the code to take them underground. As convenient as it is to have three sets of security precautionary measures to make sure they’re in the mafia, it’s a little time-consuming, and Soonyoung can get impatient sometimes.

When the doors slide open again after a long twenty seconds and they step out, Chan speaks up. “Whaddya think the mission is, hyungs?"

“Probably another gang causing trouble with their dealers by manipulation,” Junhui snorts. “Vice Lords are known for stealing shit and what-not."

“Or Black Spades are threatening to burn down the old retirement house,” Minghao adds, chuckling. “Idiots don’t know that place has been abandoned for six months now."

“I heard Devil Hour came back after their long trip to Japan,” Chan hums. “They must’ve been pretty busy making deals with the Japanese. Their return is all over the news lately. They’ve got no escape. It kind of irks me how open they are about their business."

“Ah, that’s right,” Junhui agrees. “I’ve always loved the dramatic headlines: 'Devil Hour Makes a Traumatizing Return After Their Long-Time Disappearance.'"

“Don’t forget 'Devil Hour Announces Their Switch-Up in Nagasaki,'” Minghao cackles. “Like we’d believe they’d turn a new leaf."

“If Seungcheol-hyung called us for a mission to help his team, it must be pretty serious,” Soonyoung chides as they walk down the halls. “Either that or it’s something we specialize in and he needs our specific help. It’s a mission either way, so let’s not talk too lightly about it until we know the real deal. Besides, Devil Hour has impeccable timing for these kinds of things. They might be planning something."

He almost pauses when he says the last bit. That sounds familiar.

They arrive at the Headquarters a few minutes later and when the doors slide open, Seungcheol and his team are already sitting around the large table, bickering with each other.

“Hyung,” Soonyoung greets, grabbing their attention. 

“Soonyoung-ah,” Seungcheol says warmly, standing up to clap Soonyoung’s back, “Long time no see. I haven’t seen much of you and your team ever since your last mission. Glad you could come so quickly."

Chan seems to tense in his seat next to Minghao at the mention of their last mission, but Soonyoung only smiles and calmly replies, “We’ve been in the simulation room lately. I’ve been meaning to train me and my team to become better in our abilities individually and as a whole. I hope it’ll benefit us for whatever mission is thrown at us, even this one. Speaking of which, your message was a little abrupt. You didn’t include any details of the mission?"

Seungcheol’s smile tightens. “You’ll find out why I decided not to. I’m sorry for how sudden it was, but it came to my attention just as suddenly as it did for you."

Soonyoung nods and claps his hands together, trying to quell the uneasy feeling in his chest. “Shall we get started with the briefing?"

“Not yet,” the other alpha says, shaking his head. “We’re still waiting on one more team."

“Oh.” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow, “You didn’t say anything about another team joining us, hyung. Who is it?"

Seungcheol opens his mouth, then closes it again. Just as he’s about to answer, the doors slide open and in comes said team.

“Your message was so sudden, hyung,” a familiar voice complains. “You didn’t even include any details, so we came here as soon as possible. This better be worth it ― "

Seungcheol sheepishly shrinks in his seat as he watches the other two team leaders stare at each other in shock. _A complete and utter disaster,_ he thinks mournfully. _I shouldn’t have taken this mission. I should’ve passed it to someone else. What have I done? I should’ve strangled Namjoon-hyung when I had the chance._

”Kwon.” Lee Jihoon grits his teeth as his shocked stare turns into a cold glare. “What the hell are you doing in here?"

Soonyoung’s eyes narrow and he spits, “I could ask the same thing, Lee."

Jihoon’s team sits down awkwardly as the tension in the room grows. The two leaders stare each other down, and Seungcheol feels like he’s watching one of those _this-place-isn’t-big-enough-for-the-two-of-us_ TV shows. It’s mildly terrifying, to say the least, and he doesn’t know if he has the balls to break their stare-down, as much of an alpha as he is.

“Seungcheol-hyung called on my team to help him with a mission,” Jihoon answers, albeit a little harshly. “What’s it to you?"

Soonyoung blinks, but then his eyes narrow again. “Seungcheol-hyung also called on my team to help him with a mission."

Both team leaders glare fiercely at each other, and Seungcheol flinches when they turn their heads towards him for an explanation. The _this-place-isn’t-big-enough-for-the-two-of-us_ TV shows suddenly turn into _creepy-dolls-turn-their-heads_ horror films, and he’s the main character.

He clears his throat, trying to get rid of the growing nervousness in his stomach as he gains the courage to utter his next ― and possibly his last ― words.

“We need to work together for this mission."

It’s silent for a long, painful moment. The three teams look at each other nervously as the tension rises. The air is so thick of it, you could easily slice it with a knife and earn a satisfying slash sound. It’s suffocating and barely breathable.

Seungcheol tries to refrain from cowering any further in his chair as Jihoon and Soonyoung’s eyes bore into him, almost like they’re mentally ripping him apart piece by piece for putting them in this situation. If he were being honest, he wouldn’t mind dying right about now.

“We,” Soonyoung says slowly, “as in me, you, and Lee are working together for this mission?"

“Exactly what I meant.” Seungcheol nods affirmatively. He braces himself for what’s about to go down, which will most likely involve flying fists and bloody noses on both ends. However, he’s unprepared for what happens next.

Soonyoung and Jihoon make eye contact, lips pursed and eyes glaring. The air seems to thicken even more, making the room stuffy.

There’s a beat of silence, two beats, but then they’re laughing, catching everyone by surprise. Jihoon starts clapping his hands like a seal, eyebrows raised high as he chortles with his whole body. Soonyoung throws his head back as he guffaws, his dolphin-like laugh coming through. It’s absolutely contagious, and some of the members snicker in response. The scene is comedic, really, but Seungcheol still has no idea why they’re finding the situation so funny.

“You’re — “ Jihoon gasps through a wheeze, “You’re kidding, right? We aren’t working together."

“This is a joke, right?” Soonyoung asks breathlessly. “Oh, that was good, hyung. I haven’t laughed like that in ages."

“What are you guys going on about?” Seungcheol says, a little annoyed. “I’m serious. Namjoon-hyung said we need to work together for this mission. It’s urgent, like I told you. I don’t know what’s so funny about it."

“I am not working with him,” Jihoon says firmly, suddenly turning a lot more serious. “I don’t know if you know this, hyung, but Kwon and I don’t get along in the slightest bit. I will gladly pull my team back from this mission if it means not having to work with him."

“The feeling is mutual,” Soonyoung growls back at the omega. 

“Sit down, the both of you,” Seungcheol snaps, patience running thin. “None of you are going to back out. Namjoon-hyung was the one who assigned us this mission, and I’ll be damned if we fail him. Do not bring whatever happened in Nae-ri into this upcoming mission. We are all gonna have to work with each other whether you like it or not. I will not have us fail this mission just 'cause you two can’t get a fucking hold of your grudges, so sit down, shut up, and listen."

Both leaders are quiet after that, obediently taking their seats as they glare at nothing in particular. 

“Now,” Seungcheol sighs, trying to collect himself. He passes some folders around, containing all the details of the mission. “Without further ado, these folders explain what our objective is. This mission won’t be like any others you’ve been assigned to, but I’d say the situation is most similar to Nae-ri — "

_“_ _Aaaaand_ that’s my cue to leave,” Soonyoung interrupts immediately, closing his folder and crossing his arms. “There is no way in hell I am taking my team on this mission."

Seungcheol rubs a hand over his face tiredly. He was expecting this. “Soonyoung, listen to the briefing first — "

“That is all I need to hear,” Soonyoung says coldly. “I don’t care what you do there, go without us. What happened in Nae-ri was pushing the limits, I am not taking my team with you. I’ll talk to Namjoon-hyung if I have to."

“Backing out already, Kwon?” Jihoon taunts, leaning back in his seat. “Did the incident make you weak? I thought you were one of the strongest in the business."

Soonyoung clenches his jaw. “You have no damn idea why I’m backing out — “ 

“Enough!” Seungcheol exclaims, alpha voice pushing through as he slams a fist down on the table. “If you guys are going to fight, do it after the briefing. Soonyoung, you will stay and you will listen to what the mission is no matter what. Namjoon-hyung has already confirmed all of us for this, so you cannot back out even if you try talking to him. Jihoon, please stop chasing after Soonyoung’s ass and just. let. me. explain. _Please!"_

Soonyoung scoffs at the blatant disrespect from the older alpha while Jihoon grumbles underneath his breath, face just a slight pink at the mention of Soonyoung’s ass.

“Back to the briefing,” Seungcheol huffs, struggling to keep his composure. “Like I said, this mission is most similar to Nae-ri, and by that, I mean how long it will take and why it needs all of us. I don’t mean the specific mission. As you all may have heard, there are multiple fires in Namyangju and there have been multiple deaths surrounding them. The thing is, nobody knows who’s setting the fires off and the deaths don’t seem to have any correlation to them. Rather, they’re miscellaneous, what with gunshot wounds, stab marks, and silver. We’ve been ordered to go to Namyangju as quickly as possible and follow the lead of those fires."

“So...a new gang?” Jeonghan hums lazily. The beta has his feet propped up on the table in a nonchalant way, but the way he purses his lips is a sign that he’s listening intently.

“It’s a high possibility,” Seungcheol confirms. “Namjoon-hyung and I think that’s how the fires are starting so quickly. Some gang is probably scattered all around and following someone’s lead. We think they have some sort of specific location in mind, considering the fires have started going south. It may hit Yongin, Yeoju, or Wonju and continue from there until it hits one of the four largest cities next to Seoul and Incheon."

“Busan?” Jihoon questions. His face is blank, but there’s a slight fear in his eyes that tells him he’s a little worried.

“Even Busan.” Seungcheol nods. “If we’re quick enough, we’ll be able to stop them before it hits Daejeon."

“They must have something worked out already if they aren’t targeting Seoul,” Joshua observes, eyes skimming through the briefing. “I’m guessing these fires are to distract people from what’s happening?"

“Correct,” Seungcheol affirms. “We don’t know what their intentions are yet though. Namjoon-hyung says they must’ve also killed people; the less they have to deal with, the easier it’ll be to reach their goal, so it’s best if we start as soon as possible. Any questions?"

“I’m assuming you need me and my team for espionage and shit,” Jihoon says curtly, and when Seungcheol nods, he sighs. “Fine. I’m in."

“Kwon?” Seungcheol asks, glancing at the surprisingly silent leader.

Soonyoung purses his lips. “I still don’t think my team should go. Something isn’t sitting right with me, but I don’t know what it is."

“I wouldn’t be opposed if you didn’t come,” Jihoon interrupts.

Seungcheol glares at the omega before turning back to Soonyoung. “Listen, you’re the only one who knows Namyangju. You’ve lived there and you know the place. Your team is best in getting things done quickly without being so reckless and you have great scouters. We need that if we want to stop that gang from doing any more damage than they already have."

Soonyoung rubs a hand over his face, but he’s more tired than anything. As much as he doesn’t want to go on this mission — especially if Jihoon is in on it too — he knows Seungcheol has a point. His team specializes in scouting and he’s trained them to be the best of the best. It would be a bummer to see their efforts go to waste all because of his selfishness.

He heaves a sigh as he answers, “Fine, but only because I’m from Namyangju."

Seungcheol grins. “Great, we’ll leave a week from now. It gives us enough time to prepare what we need. Soonyoung, Jihoon, I will need you both to meet me back here tomorrow morning, not including your teams. We will discuss further plans on what we should do but for now, it’s late and we all should rest up and prepare. If there are no further questions, you’re all dismissed."

Both Jihoon and Soonyoung grimace at the sound of a leader meeting, but they know there’s no use in arguing with Seungcheol if he’s already made up his mind. 

“I hope this mission will be much more successful than last time. I’m looking forward to working with all of you,” Soonyoung says as he stands up and bows. When he raises himself up, he shoots a pointed look in Jihoon’s direction and adds, “Most of you, anyway."

Jihoon scowls as Soonyoung leaves the room, his team following after him as they bow on their way out. He stands up as soon as the doors slide close. 

“Fucking prick,” Jihoon mutters under his breath, then glances at Seungcheol. “I look forward to working with you as well. I can’t say the same about Kwon, but hopefully he’s not much of an idiot this time around."

Seungcheol watches with a raised eyebrow as Jihoon bows before turning on his heel and leaving the room, Seungkwan and Seokmin hastily following after him.

“You’re setting us all up for hell,” Jeonghan huffs as he walks up to Seungcheol, arms crossed. Joshua is right next to him, snickering quietly. 

“Namjoon-hyung said he has a feeling this mission will fix whatever shit they're going through,” Seungcheol defends himself. “You know him, he’s never wrong about anything."

“Well, we can’t do anything about it now.” Joshua shrugs, laying a hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder comfortingly. “We can only watch everything unravel. You’ll be okay?"

Seungcheol smiles at Joshua’s concern and squeezes the beta's hand, the familiar sparks warming his insides. “I’ll be fine. I know what I’ve been putting myself into. You both should go after Jihoon and make sure he doesn’t kill Soonyoung. I need them both on some sort of mutual level so we can get through this mission as smoothly as possible."

“You’ll need a lot of aspirin after we’re done with this mission,” Jeonghan snickers.

Seungcheol sighs. “Yeah, I think I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some Soonhoon and slight Jihancheol in this chapter, albeit not very fluffy, oops. Like I said, Google Maps really help if you’re still confused :)
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “People will do anything to throw their problems away instead of facing the truth,” Soonyoung says easily. “They just wanna believe everything is okay."
> 
> Jihoon hums, then raises an eyebrow at him. “Sound familiar?"
> 
> Soonyoung blinks, then narrows his eyes at the implication. “That’s not ― "
> 
> “What happened, Soonyoung?” Jihoon interrupts him, and the alpha winces at how crestfallen he seems. “What happened back in Nae-ri?"
> 
> There’s an underlying tone that only Soonyoung understands and it scares him to the pit of his core.
> 
> What happened to us?


	3. Reminiscence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminiscence  
/ˌreməˈnisəns/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a story told about a past event remembered by the narrator.
> 
> 2\. the enjoyable recollection of past events.
> 
> 3\. a collection in literary form of incidents and experiences that someone remembers.
> 
> 4\. a characteristic of one thing reminding or suggestive of another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END, PLEASE READ IT.
> 
> Another week passes, another chapter, more longer :)
> 
> Vote for Seventeen in MAMA 2019! You can vote on either the website or Twitter with the hashtags #MAMA2019 and #seventeen (Make sure the ’s’ is lowercase!) Retweets are counted as a vote too! Keep voting so we can get them a daesang this year, we’re really improving! Also vote for them on AAA!
> 
> Categories they’re nominated for:
> 
> \- Artist of the Year - 4th place  
\- Song of the Year - 4th place  
\- Worldwide Fans’ Choice - 4th place  
\- Best Male Group - 3rd place  
\- Best Dance Performance Male Group - 3rd place (We can get them a 3rd consecutive win, right?)
> 
> Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> I heard as long as Seventeen is in the top 3, we’ll be fine but let’s not be lazy, Carats! Keep voting no matter what :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**APARTMENT BLOCK 17A**

**JULY 13, 2019**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong, Seongsan-gu

Soonyoung hasn’t slept a wink last night, no matter how hard he tried. Thoughts of the mission had consumed his mind, and it didn’t help that they would be traveling back to Namyangju, his hometown. He’s heard about the fires, of course; it’s all over the internet, and he can’t help but worry about his mother. Said mother had messaged him and told him that she was fine and on her way to evacuate down to Busan, where his step-father is temporarily living for work matters.

Although Busan and Namyangju are on either sides of South Korea, Soonyoung knows it’s only a matter of time before the fires spread rapidly down south if Seungcheol and Namjoon’s assumptions are correct, and he knows he’s going to have to work with Jihoon no matter what.

Speaking of Jihoon.

Soonyoung already hates the mission with every fiber of his being, but simultaneously, he's a little hopeful. Their last mission together in Nae-ri had gone downhill without any of them noticing until the last second. To this day, he still blames himself for what happened, for getting too caught up in his own world to realize he’d been a second too late to avoid the inevitable. He’d avoided Jihoon after, completely disregarded his existence as if he weren’t there. Back then, he was still trying to cope with how close he’d been to losing someone he loves, trying to cope with how irresponsible he’d been and in the end, he ended up losing that person anyway. 

He hates how this new mission already reminds him of the past without even starting.

Nothing had ever been Jihoon’s fault. Pretty blossom Jihoon who wilted under the burning sunshine that was Soonyoung. He hates it. If he had a second life, an opportunity to travel back in time, he’d take it in a heartbeat. He wonders how things would've changed if he hadn’t been so selfless, so naïve, so...stupid.

There’s a hundred things he wants to tell Jihoon, wants him to know the truth about why he did what he did. He wants to have another chance to make things right, to become friends again. He also has questions he wants to ask Jihoon, most of which probably aren’t a good idea to ask given their current relationship status. It’s an itch he can’t scratch, something that crawls deep inside his skin when he thinks about all the options he had back then.

Despite the burning desire in him to cut off all ties with the omega for reasons he thinks are the best, Soonyoung just can’t bring himself to. He’s certain there’s been a billion words left unsaid between them, words that could’ve repaired what once was. He’s a hopeless idiot that hangs onto that thread of hope by his neck.

Let’s just say that things happen for a reason, whether it’s for the better or for the worst, Soonyoung doesn’t know. If the universe wants him to feel the burning pain on his neck every time he so much as breathes the same air as Jihoon, then so be it. If the universe wants him to feel the barest ― the absolute barest of shivers when their eyes meet ― then so be it. If the universe decided to bring them together for this mission, as much as he hates it ― then so be it. 

All he really expects after this mission is done and over with is to be on some sort of mutual relationship with the younger man. Whether they hate each other or become the best of friends or maybe even something...more ―

He can’t think about that. He’s undeserving of that role.

Soonyoung snaps out of his thoughts when his phone pings. Hastily grabbing it from his bedside table, he opens it to find a new group chat made by Seungcheol, with Jihoon in it

> **Leader-nim  
**I’m gonna be running a little late.
> 
>   
**Leader-nim  
**Just gonna grab a few things from Namjoon-hyung’s office  
and tell him you’ve both agreed.
> 
>   
**Leader-nim  
**Even if you two were already confirmed before you knew  
anything haha 
> 
> **Kwon Tiger  
** sounds good, I’ll head over right now. 
> 
> **내 고양이  
**Same here.
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**I don’t want to come into the room with you two at each other’s throats.
> 
> **내 고양이  
**No guarantees. 
> 
> **Kwon Tiger  
**no promises 

Soonyoung sighs and pockets his phone, trying to ignore the dejected feeling in his chest as he grabs the files from the previous meeting and leaves his room. He walks down the stairs of the bunk and glances at Junhui, Minghao, and Chan surrounding the TV in the living room, watching some sort of action show.

“I’m leaving,” Soonyoung calls, pocketing his wallet from the kitchen counter. “Don’t go anywhere 'less you’re going to the training room or to get food."

“'kay,” Minghao calls back without taking his eyes off the screen, “We’ll stay here anyway."

“Yah,” Soonyoung huffs at the lack of attention. “Nobody has anything to say to me? Also, if any of you even touch my leftover noodles from last night, you’re sleeping on the balcony."

“You said that last time when Jun-hyung ate your chicken,” Chan replies. “You didn’t let him sleep on the balcony because it was too cold."

Junhui snickers. “Soonyoung just doesn’t have the heart to torture me like that."

Soonyoung scowls. “I mean it this time."

“Sure you do,” Junhui drawls, turning his head and raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. “If you do decide to toss me in the balcony to sleep, you know you’ll feel guilty not even ten seconds in."

“Whatever,” Soonyoung says hotly, stalking over to the door and grabbing his backpack. “We’ll see if you lot get a free week when we’re done with this mission after all.” He closes the door, just in time to see his team giving each other horrified looks, and he cackles.

He starts walking to the Headquarters, pulling his hood up along with his mask. It’s cold out, perfect for hiding his disguise as a mafia leader. Everyone around him is wearing hoodies and overcoats, and maybe he’s a little under-dressed for the weather, but he makes it to the building quickly. He’s glad his apartment is near the Headquarters, otherwise he’d have to walk for miles.

After the three sets of precautionary measures in the elevator, he arrives down with no hassle and makes it the room, hoping he’d gotten there before Jihoon. However, his luck runs short when the doors slide open and Jihoon is sitting in the same spot as the previous meeting, already making notes on his files and mumbling things under his breath. 

_Cute,_ Soonyoung thinks to himself, then mentally slaps himself. _You aren’t that way anymore, Kwon. Be realistic._

Jihoon looks up at the sound of the door opening, only to scowl at him. “Oh, it’s you."

“Oh, it’s me,” Soonyoung says sarcastically, sitting down in the same chair as before. He feels pain flare up his neck but he ignores it. “Already try'na think ahead, Lee?"

“Just don’t want things falling apart,” Jihoon says simply, but there’s an underlying meaning behind his words that has Soonyoung feeling just a tad bit guilty, “unlike someone I know."

Soonyoung opts not to say anything because he knows Jihoon has a point. 

A billion and one things left unsaid.

Instead of acknowledging anything, he places his own files on the desk and grabs a pen from his backpack, deciding to follow Jihoon’s footsteps. The tense silence between them as they make notes is louder than anything he’s ever shouted, and he hates how weird it is between them now but he can’t do much about it at this point. He can only hope his efforts will pay off in the end, and maybe Jihoon will realize that what he’s doing is for his benefit.

Soonyoung sighs quietly, glancing back at the briefing.

**DATE OF: **July 10, 2019

**LOCATION: ** Namyangju-si, South Korea

**BRIEFING: ** Numerous reports of deaths and fires are happening in Namyangju-si. Fires are rapidly spreading throughout the region and there are no leads as to what’s causing it. Last fire seen on July 9, 2019, heading towards Yangpyeong-gun. Possibilities show fires continuing south and hitting any of the four largest cities, excluding Seoul and Incheon. Civilians who occupy the region share concerns and have started evacuating in search of safer grounds. Police reports have also shown causes of miscellaneous deaths (by gunshots, stab wounds, and poison). These deaths are not plausible by the fire. No further concerns.

**NOTES: **6 fires; 53 miscellaneous deaths

**OPINION: ** Potential new gang, objective to kill towards a specific location; certain target. 

**MISSION: **Stop gang from creating fires and any miscellaneous deaths.

_ Why Namyangju? _ Soonyoung thinks to himself, gnawing on his bottom lip.  _Starting chaos from one of the smaller cities is more likely to get the gang more noticed. _

“You’d think this so-called gang would do something less noticeable,” Jihoon says, snapping Soonyoung out of his thoughts. “Fires aren’t exactly subtle.” The omega doesn’t look up from his files, but Soonyoung knows he’s not talking to himself.

“Most likely distracting from what’s actually going on, like Joshua-hyung said,” Soonyoung mutters, unsure of why he’s answering. “People will be too panicked about the fires to see all the other deaths. If they do, they’re just gonna blame those deaths on the fires."

“Seungcheol said those deaths have no correlation to the fires though,” Jihoon counters, looking up. Soonyoung has to control his expression when he feels small familiar shivers run down his spine. “Those deaths are miscellaneous. You can’t tell me a fire caused a fucking gunshot wound."

“People will do anything to throw their problems away instead of facing the truth,” Soonyoung says easily. “They just wanna believe everything is okay."

Jihoon hums, then raises an eyebrow at him. “Sound familiar?"

Soonyoung blinks, then narrows his eyes at the implication. “That’s not ― "

“What happened, Soonyoung?” Jihoon interrupts him, and the alpha winces at how crestfallen he seems. “What happened back in Nae-ri?"

There’s an underlying tone that only Soonyoung understands and it scares him to the pit of his core.

_What happened to us? _

He feels his heart start to race. He knows if Jihoon asks the question directly, he won’t be able to give him a satisfactory answer. The most likely thing he’d do is make up some terribly lame excuse or spew out the truth. He doesn’t want that. Jihoon can’t know.

He tries to school his expression into something less panicked. “Jihoon, can we not ― "

“Every time I asked you about what happened,” Jihoon says again, eyes lowering. “You ignored me every single time. You told me not to worry about it, that you were fine, but I knew you weren’t. Is it my fault? Tell me that, at least. Was it 'cause I got sta ― "

_”Enough."_

Soonyoung’s voice is steely, dominating, powerful. He takes a moment to calm down, to collect his scattered thoughts and realize his alpha voice had peaked through, harsh and strong. He stares at the files in front of him, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he counts numbers in his head.

When he looks back up, Jihoon’s lips are pursed and his posture is straight, tense. Soonyoung sighs. He’d only used his alpha voice a couple of times in the past, very rarely on Jihoon when he’s being incredibly stubborn, and it seems like the other leader still hasn’t gotten used to it yet. 

Soonyoung inhales deeply. “Listen, Jihoon. Everything happens for a reason. What happened back in Nae-ri and everything before and after that...I chose to do because I think it’s the best option. It’s not your fault, and it never was. Sure, I got angry, but it’s not for the reasons you think. There’s...things I need to sort out and there’s...so much more to it than what I made it seem and from that time being...I think ― our decisions were already written in the stars.”

”Option?” Jihoon echoes in confusion. “More to it? Written in the stars? What are you talking about? Why are you so cryptic?”

Fuck, he’s said too much. The look Jihoon is giving him is borderline suspicious and he knows if he doesn’t say something that will satisfy the omega, he won’t drop the topic.

Soonyoung clears his throat and attempts to recover. “Drop it, Jihoon. I don’t feel like talking about it now.”

”When will you?” Jihoon bites back. “You said that back before and after Nae-ri happened too, but that was two years ago. So when will you feel like talking about it? When you said our decisions were already written the stars, did ― did you mean for us to break ― ”

”Jihoon, that’s not what I meant — ” 

The doors suddenly slide open.

”Sorry for being late,” Seungcheol interrupts, stepping inside the room with a briefcase in his hand. “Just got back from Namjoon-hyung’s office. I hope you guys behaved while I was gone.”

Just like that, Jihoon’s eyes harden again and he looks away from Soonyoung, nodding once in Seungcheol’s direction.

“You didn’t miss anything,” he says simply, as if nothing happened. “We were just taking notes, right, Kwon?” He pierces Soonyoung with a sharp glare, strong enough that has him swallowing his words down.

Soonyoung exhales slowly, tries to ignore the pang in his heart and says, “Right.”

”Okay,” Seungcheol says slowly, noticing the obvious awkward and tense air between the two leaders. He clears his throat nonetheless and opens his briefcase, bringing out multiple files containing the miscellaneous deaths along with a map. “Let’s get started then. We can’t waste a single minute."

“When are we leaving?” Jihoon asks, standing up to peer at the map on the desk. 

“Thursday morning,” Seungcheol answers, spreading the files around. “Just got news from Namjoon-hyung that another fire appeared in Yangpyeong, and it’s heading further down south. My best bet is it’s heading towards Yeoju or Wonju. Yongin is too far southwest, but that doesn’t mean they still can't change direction."

“Are we splitting up into our teams?” Soonyoung asks, eyeing the map. “We can each take a region to search and cover more ground if it hits either place."

“As tempting as that is,” Seungcheol sighs, “I don’t think it’s a good idea. If the gang has men scattered around the region and starting the fires that quickly, we’re most likely outnumbered if we split up. Sure, we’ll be able to message each other if we need help, but I don’t want to take that chance. As close as Yeoju and Wonju seem to Yangpyeong, it’ll take hours for us to drive to each destination, especially with traffic."

“So we’re sticking together for this whole mission?” Jihoon questions. 

“Yeah,” Seungcheol nods, “It’ll be easier to complete our objectives and send help if we need it."

“So what’s the plan?” Soonyoung asks. 

“We’ll leave for Namyangju Thursday morning,” the older alpha begins, pointing at the map. “When we get there, we’ll start from where the first fire appeared — which would be in Hopyeong. We’ll follow the rest of the fires afterwards. Soonyoung, I’ll have your team scout inside and around the buildings in the area. Jihoon, your team will guide his and warn them of any incomers. Since there’s four members on Soonyoung’s team and five on yours, I think it’s best if one of your members hack any available working electronics."

”Wouldn’t it be better if we have more people scouting?” Jihoon protests, raising an eyebrow. “We’d get things done faster."

“Too risky,” Seungcheol shakes his head. “Any more than five people scouting may get us exposed and caught red-handed, especially if there are men in the area. Besides, I’m pretty sure not everything's burned down, just enough to grab everyone’s attention. The security cameras in there might still be working, and most gangs would choose a barren place for a temporary hideout, so they most likely are hiding something in one of those buildings. You’ll be able to see what’s going on in each room."

Jihoon purses his lips but makes no further comment.

“We’re doing this for every spot we've seen the fires in?” Soonyoung asks instead. “Wouldn’t that take too long? By the time we’re done, they'd probably be halfway down to wherever their location is."

“Not if we’re fast enough,” Seungcheol says simply. “There’s six fires, seven now heading south, all of which were at least a few miles away from each other. If we’re consistent in our objectives, we’ll finish in no time. We can’t afford to miss a single piece of information that may tell us whatever their intentions are."

The younger alpha crosses his arms, gnawing the inside of his cheek as a thought occurs to him. “Where exactly are these seven fires located?"

“Like I said, the first one was in Hopyeong,” Seungcheol answers, circling the region on the map with a red pen. “Then it trailed to Changhyeon, then Nomun, Mugan, Daeheung, Bongsang, and earlier, Ilsin."

Jihoon frowns. “Every place except Hopyeong are all villages; they end with ‘ri.' Hopyeong ends with ‘dong.' Maybe Hopyeong was their original base and they used those villages as a temporary place to stay?"

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Seungcheol affirms, nodding his head. “There might be something important there that they may have left behind, some rookie mistakes."

“Isn’t it weird that these fires are leaving a trail?” Soonyoung asks, eyebrows furrowed as he frowns at the map. “What if it’s distracting us as well as the people? Surely, they aren’t stupid enough to think we aren’t gonna follow it."

“Namjoon-hyung has Bangtan and more of his men on it as well,” the older alpha reassures. “If these fires lead to a dead-end, he’s sending men out to scout the rest of the regions. I do find it a little suspicious, but these fires are leading us to whoever is setting them off and we can stop them from reaching the target. For now, he just wants us to focus on this mission specifically."

“So basically the plan is to follow the fires,” Jihoon deadpans. “How about when we actually run into this so-called gang?"

“We stop them,” Seungcheol replies in a ‘duh’ tone. “We do whatever we have to so we can stop this gang."

“Okay, but can you be more specific?” Soonyoung adds, ignoring Jihoon’s raised eyebrow towards him. “What if someone gets captured?”

He’s not exactly a jump-into-the-specifics kind of guy, more like a go-with-the-flow type. However, if this mission is similar to Nae-ri, he needs to milk out all the information he can to make sure the same incident doesn’t happen again. 

He can’t let the same incident happen again.

“Fall back on protocol,” Seungcheol says. “Don’t do anything to trigger the capturer. Instead, try make amends, compromise, whatever you need to do to save that person that simultaneously won’t land us in a bad place. Like I keep saying, as long as we keep consistent, listen to each other, and agree on the same things, we'll be fine."

“And if someone gets hurt?” Soonyoung continues, disregarding Jihoon’s dubious expression.

“Finish the mission quickly, then drive to the hospital as fast as possible,” Seungcheol responds curtly. “Remember, we’re in this business to make sure we protect the citizens. No matter what, they come first. Everyone else in the same business is a second priority and comes after. It doesn’t matter who they are to you."

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything after that, knows that his fellow alpha is right. However, he still can’t help but feel like something is wrong, but he just doesn’t know what it is. The itch from earlier comes back, more insistently this time.

“Are we all traveling separately?” Jihoon asks.

“We’re using the midi-bus,” Seungcheol states. “It’s less of a hassle and less of a chance we’ll lose each other if traffic happens. I think it’s beneficial, especially since there’s a lot of us. We’ll just look like a normal vehicle, just not taking any passengers. Jimin also tweaked the motor from his last mission, so it’s a lot more faster. If we happen to be on a highway chase, we’ll escape for sure."

Jihoon hums quietly but doesn’t protest.

“If you guys have no further questions, that concludes this meeting,” Seungcheol sighs in relief, packing the files and the map into his briefcase. “I’m surprised you guys are being civil towards each other today, it was peaceful for once. Anyway, we’ll run over the final plan with the group tomorrow before we leave. We’ll meet in the parking garage in the morning. I’ll send you guys a text. Sound good?"

“Yes, hyung,” the other two leaders respond.

“Okay, well, I’m leaving,” Seungcheol continues. “Get some rest, the both of you. I’ll see you tomorrow."

The alpha leaves the room, leaving Soonyoung and Jihoon in the same awkward tense silence as before. The older man sighs and makes a move to leave, to stop suffocating himself in the rigid air. However, when he tries to walk past Jihoon, the omega grabs his shoulder, preventing him from moving. There’s a small spark at the touch but it’s gone as quickly as it comes. Neither of them face each other, but the younger man speaks up.

“You were acting strange earlier,” Jihoon murmurs, keeping his hand on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “You’re feeling some type of way about this."

“I’m always feeling some type of way,” Soonyoung responds, trying to play dumb.

“You know what I mean,” the omega says curtly, hand tightening on his shoulder. “You think something’s gonna happen."

Soonyoung stays quiet for a moment, but then says, “It’s unhealthy to tune into my feelings."

Jihoon lets go of him then, hand dropping to his side in a clenched fist. “You’re an asshole, Kwon."

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything. He knows Jihoon is right, knows there’s some truth to his words that he can’t deny. He doesn’t look at Jihoon when he leaves, and he doesn’t look back either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BELOW:
> 
> 2019 really isn’t the best year for K-pop, isn’t it? So many people are leaving. First, Hwall, then Woojin and now, Wonho. Monbebes, please stay strong :( Carats are always here for you ❤ 
> 
> Some people speculate that a girl named Han Seo Lee is responsible for Wonho leaving because she exposed Wonho being in juvenile detention and she's even been in a drug scandal with TOP and B.I. She’s sent ARMY on an outrage saying that she saw BTS’ V at a club, like, why would you try so hard to try and ruin someone’s life by spreading disgusting rumors? She also publicly explains reasons why she hates EXO-L’s. The only reason she isn’t in jail yet is because her parents are apparently crazy rich and use money to bail her out every time. 
> 
> The reason I’m saying this is because this girl is known to attack idols whose fandoms hate her and I want Carats to be careful and lie low. Don’t start fights and don’t negotiate. The only thing we can do best to protect our boys is to report and block her accounts. She doesn’t care how peaceful the fandom is. There’s been rumors that Seventeen might be next in line for her attacks and I don’t want anything happening to any of our boys. 
> 
> If it ever comes down to it, I want Carats to remain strong in the event that it does happen. Don’t believe anything she says or writes and no matter what, keep supporting Seventeen. I can’t stress how important this is, especially with their tour going on and their schedule being packed until August of 2020. OT13 forever ❤
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019 and AAA!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> It’s quiet for a moment, the weight of Yoongi’s words weighing down in Soonyoung’s mind. For a hot minute, he wants to disagree. He wants to tell Yoongi that it would be best not to get more people involved, that it’ll only cause more trouble. However, he also knows the older alpha has a point; he has a right to be worried about Jihoon, about their current circumstances. Yoongi has definitely had more experience than he did, so who is Soonyoung to deny him of his rights?
> 
> Soonyoung sighs, averting his gaze to his feet. “Are you sure this is a good idea ― "
> 
> “Soonyoung,” Yoongi says calmly, straightening up in his chair, “I will not hesitate to punch you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong in the next five seconds."
> 
> Jimin sighs exasperatedly but doesn’t say anything more.


	4. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inevitable  
/inˈevidəb(ə)l/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. certain to happen; unavoidable.
> 
> Or in which Soonyoung reunites with Yoonmin and it doesn’t end up good, but not horribly bad either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a surprise chapter for Haohao’s birthday .3. Happy Birthday to our froggie!
> 
> Vote for Seventeen in MAMA 2019! You can vote on either the website or Twitter with the hashtags #MAMA2019 and #seventeen (Make sure the ’s’ is lowercase!) Retweets are counted as a vote too! Keep voting so we can get them a daesang this year, we’re really improving! Also vote for them on AAA!
> 
> Categories they’re nominated for:
> 
> \- Artist of the Year - 4th place  
\- Song of the Year - 4th place  
\- Worldwide Fans’ Choice - 4th place  
\- Best Male Group - 3rd place  
\- Best Dance Performance Male Group - 3rd place (We can get them a 3rd consecutive win, right?)
> 
> Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> I heard as long as Seventeen is in the top 3, we’ll be fine but let’s not be lazy, Carats! Keep voting no matter what :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HEADQUARTERS**

**JULY 15, 2019**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

Soonyoung, despite having already agreed to the mission, can’t help it when he walks to Namjoon’s office two days after the leader meeting. It’s inevitable, he likes to think in a pathetic attempt to comfort himself. Namjoon should already know what’s to come if he’d been so confident to put him and Jihoon in the same mission together without explaining anything towards Seungcheol about their relationship status. The mafia boss knows something, or at least has a feeling something will happen, and Soonyoung is going to milk out all the information he can to try to understand Namjoon’s intentions.

He finds himself in front of Namjoon’s door a few minutes later, knocking on the door without much thought. Maybe he’s just that much of an idiot or he’s been too lost in his mind, but he doesn’t hear how the voices inside quiet down into a hush. He hadn’t heard any voices at all, and when he hears Namjoon’s permission to come in, he turns the handle and opens the door. 

“Hyung, I need to talk to you ― “

Whatever he’s about to say next instantly dies in his throat at the sight of Namjoon’s company. He feels something drop to the pit of his stomach, hand clenching subconsciously around the handle he’s still holding. His lips suddenly feel dry, mouth falling open in surprise as the visitors stare back at him with equal shock.

He stares at the two people in the room for a long while, and when he makes eye contact with the man slouched over Namjoon’s desk in a lazy manner, he can’t help but shiver. The man perks up at the sight of him, his own cat-like eyes darkening as he glares at Soonyoung, standing up. The sight is enough to have the leader want to run away and suddenly, he regrets every decision he’s made in his life. He just wants to cower behind Namjoon, or even Jimin, considering their relationship status with the now angry alpha.

Who wouldn’t want to hide when you piss off Min Yoongi? 

Despite being a little nervous, Soonyoung doesn’t forget his manners and bows. He knows Yoongi probably absolutely wants to strangle him now but he came to Namjoon’s office to get answers, not to fight. He has a good sense of why Yoongi is angry at him and he’s certain it involves one Lee Jihoon. Jimin may be a little more lenient on him but he’s not willing to take any risks considering he’s mated to Min _fucking_ Yoongi.

“Jimin-ssi,” he greets respectfully. “Yoongi-ssi.” He rises from his bow, unable to look both of them in the eye as he steps in the room and closes the door behind him.

Smiling at him warmly, Jimin stands up and brings him into his arms comfortingly. His sweet cotton candy and laundry scent screams comfort to Soonyoung and although he probably shouldn’t ― especially with an angry alpha mate in the room ― he hugs Jimin back, nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck with a sigh. He tries his best to ignore Yoongi’s low growl of warning, and when Jimin pulls away from him with a soft, annoyed huff and an eye roll towards his mate, he almost sighs in disappointment.

Jimin was one of his hyungs Soonyoung could turn to when things became too much. He’s much like Jeonghan in that same comforting way, someone who Soonyoung could confide in. The only thing is, Jeonghan is recruited to Jihoon’s team, which meant Soonyoung didn’t see him much unless he was around Jihoon. He didn’t have much of a choice then, especially when he and Jihoon parted ways on bad terms, so his only option for now is Jimin ― or _was_ Jimin ― until he remembered Jimin and Yoongi had mated and Yoongi isn’t exactly happy with him now.

“Why so formal?” Jimin jokes, lightly shoving Soonyoung’s shoulder. “It’s still Jiminie-hyung to you, Ten-Ten."

Soonyoung feels himself relax completely at the nickname. When they had first met, Jimin had nicknamed him Ten-Ten because of his eyes and that name had instantly made them both comfortable around each other. Hearing Jimin call him that again is like lifting the weight off his shoulders. There’s no doubt Jimin knows about the situation between him and Jihoon, it’s written all over Yoongi’s face. However, the fact that Jimin still calls him Ten-Ten despite knowing what happened is enough to bring him comfort.

“Right, sorry,” he apologizes, with what he hopes is an energetic smile. “Sorry. I just thought...after what happened ― "

“Why are you here?” Yoongi interrupts sharply. 

His glare hasn’t lessened in the slightest, and although Soonyoung had expected that, it doesn’t quell the anxiety growing in his chest. He’s heard how scary the older alpha is when he’s ticked off, and he thinks he might just be at the short end of the stick.

“Yoongi!” Jimin admonishes disapprovingly, turning back to Soonyoung apologetically. “I’m sorry about him, Soons."

Soonyoung shakes his head, waving his hand dismissively. “It’s okay, hyung,” he reassures, shoving his hands in his pockets nervously. “I had it coming sooner or later."

Yoongi only seems more pissed. “Cut to the chase, kid."

Soonyoung worries his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing at Namjoon, who’d been watching their exchanges silently. “I actually need to talk to Namjoon-hyung about a mission he assigned to us this week. It’s...It’s important."

“Ah.” Namjoon nods, lips curling into a smile as he rests his chin on his folded hands. “I was expecting this. Have a seat, Soonyoung."

Soonyoung sits down hesitantly, looks dubiously up at Yoongi and Jimin, then back at Namjoon. “Um,” he mumbles unsurely. “With all due respect, hyung, I was hoping we could talk about this privately. It’s ― you know it’s a personal problem. I don’t ― I’m not sure if they want to hear ― "

“If this has anything to do with Jihoon, I’m staying to listen,” Yoongi cuts in, plopping himself stubbornly in the chair across from Soonyoung. “After what happened in Nae-ri, I have no reason to trust you to make plans about my cousin without my say in it. I thought I could trust you to take care of him, Soonyoung, but the moment I take my goddamn eyes off from him, he gets stabbed and you’re on the other side of the fucking field when I told you to follow after him!"

“Yoongi, that’s enough,” Jimin says quietly, squeezing the alpha’s shoulder, but Yoongi remains relentless.

“He needs to hear this, Jimin, or Jihoon won’t just be getting stabbed next time,” Yoongi snaps, leaning forward in his seat as his eyes pierce into Soonyoung’s. “I know what happened between you and Jihoon, and all I can tell you now is you’re a fucking coward, Kwon Soonyoung. How dare you bond with my cousin only to break his heart the next few months? How dare you play the victim and act like Jihoon is the one in the wrong? How. Dare. You."

Soonyoung clenches his fists. He’s so frustrated, at both Yoongi and himself. He knows what happened to Jihoon is his fault, that what happened to their relationship is his fault. He knows that, but hearing Yoongi accusing him without hearing his side makes him so incredibly angry. Sure, Yoongi is bound to become biased because Jihoon is his cousin, but even he shared a good relationship with Yoongi before the incident happened. It’s like a bullet to his chest, hot and searing and spreading. 

“You know nothing about what happened between me and Jihoon,” Soonyoung says through gritted teeth. “You know absolutely nothing, Yoongi-ssi. Jihoon may have told you what happened from his perspective, but I have my reasons why I did the things I did, and right now, I’m working to repair what I can. I’ll agree with you that I’m a coward, but only because I’m fucking terrified something will happen to Jihoon if I don’t take action now. I’m trying my best, but if you keep accusing me without hearing my side, I’m not going to argue anymore with you. It’ll be useless trying to talk to a wall."

Yoongi stares at him for a moment and Soonyoung can feel him trying to read him ― his posture, his eyes, his gestures, anything. Anything that can tell him he’s lying, which he isn’t. This is how the victims feel like being interrogated, he supposes, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

“Then talk,” Yoongi says simply, leaning back in his chair. “Tell me what happened. Jihoon is my cousin and I’m willing to help those who want to protect him too, but if I find that you’ve been bullshitting me this whole time, I’ll make sure to have my knives sharpened."

Jimin groans from beside him. “Yoongi."

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Soonyoung says, suddenly feeling a little light-headed. He turns to Namjoon, who’s been watching their interaction amusedly. “You know why I’m here, hyung."

Namjoon nods slowly, surely. “I do,” he says simply. “Problem?"

Soonyoung blinks owlishly at the mafia boss, unable to comprehend how casual he’s acting about the situation, like he doesn’t care. The surge of anger from earlier comes back, flowing searingly hot in his veins. He can feel his heartbeat escalate as his blood rushes to his head, making him dizzy with vexation.

“You...” Voice trembling with disbelief, he inhales deeply in a pathetic attempt to calm himself down, “You know...what the problem is, hyung. This isn’t the time to act stupid."

Namjoon hums disapprovingly, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head. “Tell me where the stupid part came from, Soonyoung, because last time I checked, every mission I have assigned to you have been successful without fail. I have never once been wrong with my instinct ― "

“Well, did your instinct tell you Jihoon would get stabbed?” Soonyoung spits venomously, slamming a fist down on Namjoon’s desk loudly. “Did your instinct tell you he’d get hurt? Did you have a feeling we’d fight with each other to the point of breaking up, hyung?"

Namjoon’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Your fights are a separate situation all together, Soonyoung,” he says with a warning tone. “Do not blame me for something that I have no control of. Only you can blame yourself for handling the situation the way you did. You didn’t want anyone else to get involved in the situation except for Seungkwan. You didn’t want my help either and I respected that, so don’t try to push the blame of what happened on me, do you understand?"

Soonyoung suddenly feels like a teen again, being scolded by his father. He knows Namjoon has a point, knows it isn’t his fault things happened the way they did. He only has himself to blame and he regrets being blinded by his anger.

Tucking his hands between his legs, he drops his head respectfully and mumbles, “I’m sorry, hyung."

“Hold on just a sec,” Yoongi interrupts once more, eyebrows furrowed. “What's this situation we’re talking about here? How is Seungkwan involved in any of this?"

Soonyoung glances at Namjoon for a moment, who only seems indifferent to the questions being asked. He turns back to Yoongi, taking his bottom lip between his teeth when the older man raises an eyebrow at him, eyes darkening more. Jimin, although standing to the side politely, also seems confused.

“Yoongi-ssi,” Soonyoung utters with a heavy sigh, “I don’t know if you should get involved ― "

“Go to hell with that bullshit, Soonyoung,” Yoongi growls. “I have a right to know if this certain situation involves my cousin. If something's putting him in danger, I want to know. Don’t stall, don’t give me shit. I’m not stupid, Soonyoung. I’ve been in this business longer than you and I know how it works."

It’s quiet for a moment, the weight of Yoongi’s words weighing down in Soonyoung’s mind. For a hot minute, he wants to disagree. He wants to tell Yoongi that it would be best not to get more people involved, that it’ll only cause more trouble. However, he also knows the older alpha has a point; he has a right to worry about Jihoon, about their current circumstances. Yoongi has definitely had more experience than he did, so who is Soonyoung to deny him of his rights?

Soonyoung sighs, averting his gaze to his feet. “Are you sure this is a good idea ― "

“Soonyoung,” Yoongi says calmly, straightening up in his chair, “I will not hesitate to punch you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong in the next five seconds."

Jimin sighs, exasperated, but doesn’t say anything more.

Soonyoung glances at Namjoon again and when the mafia boss raises an eyebrow, he exhales slowly. He can feel his fingers beginning to clam up, the familiar feeling of his heart dropping to his chest present inside him. A small lump wells up inside his throat, making it hard for him to breathe. 

“Jihoon...” he begins quietly. “Jihoon is being targeted."

A few seconds pass, seconds that seem like minutes before Yoongi speaks up, voice low and growl-like. “Repeat what you just said."

Soonyoung swallows. “Jihoon is being targeted. I’m not a hundred percent sure how they got his information or why these people are targeting him, but he isn’t safe. Seungkwan...a few weeks before the mission on Nae-ri, he wanted me to privately meet him at a café. I thought he just wanted to hang out, y’know, catch up and things like that, but it wasn’t the reason he asked me to come. He told me ― “ He clears his throat abruptly, suddenly wanting to feel smaller.

“Soonyoung,” Yoongi snaps impatiently.

Soonyoung has to quell down his annoyance. “He told me he and the rest of Jihoon’s team were translating codes for some encryptions they got that Namjoon-hyung assigned them to. Apparently, it was for translating the deal that Devil Hour had made four years ago in Nagasaki, back in 2015. They wanted to know what the deal was about and what exactly they were sacrificing, but Seungkwan told me he had to use several different cryptographs because the code he’d gotten was so complex."

“Different cryptographs?” Jimin questions. “You rarely see codes like that. What was on his screen?"

“A bunch of different letters and symbols,” Soonyoung answers. “When he finished decoding the whole thing, a text box popped up on the bottom and it had all of Jihoon’s information on it: his age, his name, his birth place, who he’s involved with, everything. Even his images were on it, all different angles and places, like someone was following him."

In front of him, Yoongi is silent, seemingly processing everything being said. Soonyoung stays quiet for a moment, trying to get his emotions in check. Even though he’s still on the case of figuring out who’s trying to target Jihoon, it doesn’t make it any easier on him to remember what had happened. It’s like all the memories of his fights with Jihoon, breaking up with him, loving him before Nae-ri happened and even after, is being thrown back in his face.

“What made you feel like you should’ve avoided Jihoon after that?” Yoongi finally asks after a long moment. “Was there anything that implied you were the cause of him being targeted?"

Soonyoung purses his lips. “In one of those pictures of Jihoon, I was in the background and my face wasn’t blurred like everyone else’s. There was a code in the text box underneath the picture. I think it was...z-n-g-r, b-z-r-t-n ― "

“The reflect method?” Jimin hums. “Mate, omega."

Soonyoung nods. “Whoever this person is and why they’re targeting Jihoon, they definitely know for a fact that he’s my ― “ He cuts himself off abruptly and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I mean, _was,_ my mate."

“Why would they target you though?” Yoongi looks deep in thought, finger grazing his lips thoughtfully. “If what they want is to hurt Jihoon, why would they target you too? Surely, if it’s Jihoon they want, they wouldn’t need another witness."

“No, Yoongi-ssi.” Soonyoung shakes his head. “It’s the other way around. They’re targeting me by using Jihoon as a bait."

The older alpha blinks at him. “You mean..."

Soonyoung nods. “There was a third-party written in the encryption, we just can’t trace it. Someone in the same business, in the same type of mafia sector, knows Jihoon and I were involved with each other. Someone who has relations with us, just not directly. It’s just...whoever this person is knows damn well how to hide their tracks."

Yoongi sits back in his seat, hands rubbing over his face in distress. “Have Seungkwan redirect the encryption to me the next time you see him. I’ll have a go at it."

“Yoongi-ssi ― “ Soonyoung stutters in surprise.

“Hyung,” Yoongi corrects, taking his hands off and leaning forward. “Yoongi-hyung. I was wrong, Soonyoung, and I’m sorry for assuming so quickly. Now that you’ve explained your side, I know that you’re only trying to protect Jihoon. Is it the smartest way? No, but it’s still something. Don’t take it personally though, I’m still mad at you for letting Jihoon get stabbed even though it wasn’t in your best intentions, but Jihoon can also be a persuasive little prick when he wants to be. For now, I just want to get started on this as soon as possible so we can take this fucker down before something happens to my cousin."

Soonyoung sinks in his chair in relief. “Hyung,” he whines. “Hyung, Yoongi-hyung. Thank you. Just please don’t tell anyone else. If Jihoon hears this, you know what he’ll do."

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Fine, kid. But remember what I said. If you lied to me about anything, I have my knives sharpened."

Jimin sighs loudly before tugging at Yoongi’s sleeve harshly. “That’s enough of you,” he chides, then smiles sweetly at Soonyoung as he pushes his alpha out the door. “Thank you for telling us the truth, Soonyoung. We’ll work hard to protect Jihoonie. Remember, I’m only a phone call away if you ever need anything."

Soonyoung watches Jimin shove a complaining Yoongi out the door and when they’re finally left alone, he turns to Namjoon.

“So why did you do it?” he questions.

“Ah,” Namjoon chuckles amusedly. “Honestly, I thought you’d forget with you and Yoongi fighting. I put you and Jihoon in the same mission because you both have a team that can help the mission progress tremendously. With your scouting and Jihoon’s espionage, the mission will ― "

“That’s not why. Tell me the truth, hyung."

Namjoon sighs. “You’re somehow very observant behind all your idiocy,” he mutters, then shakes his head. “I believe you and Jihoon will repair everything you once destroyed during this mission. I don’t know how, I’m not a psychic, but I just have a feeling everything will come together in the end."

Soonyoung stays quiet for a moment, eyes staring at the empty seat across from him. He trusts Namjoon and sure, the mafia boss has made some crazy predictions about their missions, but he can’t think of a time where Namjoon had been wrong. 

“Thank you, hyung,” is what Soonyoung says instead, softly. “I hope you’re right."

Namjoon smiles at him, cheeky and wide. “Have I ever been wrong?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, the Soonhoon content in the latest fansign is driving me nuts.
> 
> \- Jihoon leaning in and nudging Soonyoung for a picture together :,(  
\- Jihoon pronouncing Hoshi’s name as “Hochi” in regards to what Japanese carats call him and calling it CUTE :,((  
\- Soonyoung touching Jihoon’s chest (UH, HELLO?)  
\- Jihoon looking at Soonyoung like he’s his whole world :,(((  
\- Just Jihoon initiating everything lately between Soonhoon is punching out all my uwu's
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019 and AAA!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “ — Don’t make the first move unless it’s an emergency,” Soonyoung corrects with a cheeky smile. "Don’t worry about your teammates unless they call you. Make sure your head is in the game. Don’t look back. If you’re in major trouble, call by code — "
> 
> “And no matter what?” Seungcheol presses.
> 
> “...People first, everyone else after,” says Soonyoung, and he winces at the hesitancy in his voice, hoping the older alpha wouldn’t notice it. He feels a stare burn into the side of his face, but he ignores it the best he can.


	5. Conscientious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conscientious  
/ˌkän(t)SHēˈen(t)SHəs/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. (of a person) wishing to do what is right, especially to do one's work or duty well and thoroughly.
> 
> 2\. relating to a person's conscience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally longer, so I cut it into two parts.
> 
> Vote for Seventeen in MAMA 2019! You can vote on either the website or Twitter with the hashtags #MAMA2019 and #seventeen (Make sure the ’s’ is lowercase!) Retweets are counted as a vote too! Keep voting so we can get them a daesang this year! Also vote for them on AAA!
> 
> Categories they’re nominated for:
> 
> \- Artist of the Year - 4th place  
\- Song of the Year - 4th place  
\- Worldwide Fans’ Choice - 4th place  
\- Best Male Group - 3rd place  
\- Best Dance Performance Male Group - 3rd place (We can get them a 3rd consecutive win, right?)
> 
> Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> I heard as long as Seventeen is in the top 3, we’ll be fine but let’s not be lazy, Carats! Keep voting no matter what :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**PARKING GARAGE**

**JULY 18, 2019**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

> **Leader-nim  
**My team and I are heading to the parking garage  
right now, any of you there?
> 
> **Tall Gyu  
**I’m here hyung 
> 
> **WeeWoo   
**You’re in hyung’s team, idiot.
> 
> **Tall Gyu   
**So are you
> 
> **Boo Seungkwan  
**how long are we on this mission?
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**At most, three weeks.
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**Also, don’t forget to bring masks and caps. Wouldn’t want  
our identities out there.
> 
> **Boo Seungkwan  
**oop, ok. Guess I need to pack some necessities.
> 
> **Kwon Tiger  
**Just making sure we have everything, then we’ll be right on  
over. 
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**Jihoon? 
> 
> **내 고양이  
**Coming soon. 
> 
> **Junebug  
**In theaters near you
> 
> **Haohao  
**are you jk rn
> 
> **Weewoo  
**He saw the chance and he took it. 
> 
> **Tall Gyu  
**I’m kinda disappointed that I found that funny :/
> 
> **Junebug  
**;D thanks!
> 
> **SurpRIse  
**Is everything else in the bus already? 
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**Affirmative. 
> 
> **1004  
**So formal hehe
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**You guys like it :) 
> 
> **Maknae  
**Please don’t. 
> 
> **내 고양이  
**Stop. 
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**You all are just jealous 
> 
> **Weewoo  
**Can we please just keep this group chat strictly for the mission?
> 
> **Weewoo  
**As cute as you three are, I don’t want to witness your flirting. 
> 
> **HaoHao  
**yes pls
> 
> **Tall Gyu  
**that would eb ncie
> 
> **Weewoo  
**be* nice*
> 
> **1004  
**Party poopers TT you guys are no fun.

“Soonyoung, we’re ready to leave,” Junhui calls, zipping his bag up on the kitchen counter. Minghao and Chan are standing by the door, packed and ready to go. “You got everything?"

“Yeah,” Soonyoung answers, getting up from the couch and shrugging his backpack on. He pockets his phone and puts his black cap on. “What about you guys? Did you do one last sweep of the apartment?"

Junhui nods, shrugging his bag on his shoulders and raising the black mask on his face. 

“Let’s go then,” Soonyoung sighs, heading towards the door. “Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting."

They head down to the Headquarters quickly, but instead of heading inside the building, they go through the alleyway leading to the parking garage inconspicuously. The garage door is already open, and Seungcheol and his team are already hanging around the midi-bus casually, like they aren’t about to head into a mission; like they’re about to go on a road trip instead.

“Good to go?” Seungcheol asks upon seeing Soonyoung and his team enter.

“Good to go,” Soonyoung confirms, then gestures to the mini bus. “Is the bus supplied?"

“All the tech is inside. Weapons are in the trunk, small guns and knives in compartments, all the gears are too,” Seungcheol affirms. “We’re ready. Just waiting on Jihoon’s team and then we’ll run down the plan.” As if on cue, Jihoon’s team enters the parking garage, bags packed and dressed in dark clothes.

“We’re here,” Jihoon says gruffly through the mask covering the bottom half of his face. He adjusts his cap and nods at Seungcheol. “We’re all ready?"

“Yeah, we just need to run over the final plan,” Seungcheol says. He puts his middle finger and thumb together and whistles, catching everyone’s attention. “Alright, can everyone hear me? We’re going to run over the plan before we hit the road."

A chorus of _yes_ and _I can hear you_ sounds throughout the parking garage.

“Alright,” Seungcheol starts, “When we get to Namyangju, I’ll have Soonyoung’s team start scouting where the first fire appeared, which will be in Hopyeong. One person on Jihoon’s team will be the hacker, y’know, working any available electronics and getting any information you can. The rest of Jihoon’s team will be the second set of eyes for Soonyoung’s, watch out for any incomers. We’ll follow the rest of the fires afterwards, and if we’re quick, we can stop the gang from reaching any of the four cities. Namjoon-hyung has men scattering throughout the rest of the regions in case these fires lead to a dead-end, but our mission is to stop the gang for now, and any fires. Are we clear?"

“Crystal,” the group responds in unison.

“Seungkwan, I’ll have you hack,” Jihoon says firmly, turning to the younger boy. “You think you’ll get through any computer blockages?"

“I won’t let you down, hyung,” Seungkwan says affirmatively.

“Okay, if everyone’s on the same page and no more further questions,” Seungcheol says, counting heads to make sure everyone is present, “Let’s hit the road."

—

**MIDI-BUS**

** JULY 18, 2019 **

**Location:** Namyangju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Hopyeong-dong

They arrive at Namyangju an hour later, thanks to traffic, and Soonyoung can immediately sense a shift in the air. He peers out the window at the familiar grassy planes, and he can’t help but feel sentimental again. His childhood comes back to him, flashbacks of his family attacking his mind. He can picture him and his siblings running through the fields of grass, giggling as they tumble together. However, the memory dissipates and leaves a smoky darkness trailing in its path, and he’s reminded of how everything began to take a turn for the worst so suddenly.

“...young. Soonyoung."

Soonyoung blinks when he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he turns his head to find Wonwoo peering at him. “What?"

“You good?” the younger asks. “You spaced out for a minute."

“Oh, yeah,” Soonyoung says, a little breathy as he glances out the window again. The smoky darkness had disappeared, and the uneasy feeling comes back again. “Yeah. Just...memories."

“Good ones, I’d hope,” Wonwoo nudges his shoulder, a small smile on his lips.

Soonyoung smiles bitterly. “Most of them anyway."

“Speaking of memories,” Seungcheol says from the front as he drives the midi-bus, “Is your eomma still in Namyangju? Maybe after Hapyeong, we can pay her a visit. I miss her and her bibimmyeon."

“She evacuated down to Busan to stay with my step-father for a bit until the fires stop,” Soonyoung answers, a little sadly. He hasn’t seen his mother in person in three years, and he misses her terribly. “I’m sure she misses you guys too."

“All the way down to Busan?” Seungkwan questions.

“Better safe than sorry,” Soonyoung shrugs. “I would rather her go to the other side of South Korea rather than risk getting hurt in a spreading fire."

“An eomma’s boy, hmm?” Jeonghan asks, a teasing lilt to his voice.

Soonyoung’s bitter smile returns but he doesn’t say anything.

They arrive at Hopyeong ten minutes later, and the sight of the burned buildings contrasts greatly with the grassy planes they’ve seen earlier. The place is desolate and there’s nobody around the area; people must’ve evacuated already. There’s caution tape surrounding the complex, but there’s no police car in sight, which makes the scene a lot more suspicious. Seungcheol pulls up at the street next to what looks like a school across from the burnt complex, and turns off the engine. 

“Okay everyone,” the leader says firmly, turning around in his seat. “You guys know what to do."

Soonyoung takes a deep breath and stands up from his seat, turning to look at his other three team members scattered throughout the midi-bus. He nods at them and nudges Wonwoo to stand in the aisle of the bus, reading each label on the compartments above them. He opens one labeled _hand guns/ammunition _and grabs the two bags inside, similar to that of duffel bags. He sets them down on a compact table, grabs a hand gun from its slot and loads it with the matching ammunition, glancing at Chan.

“Chan-ah,” Soonyoung calls, attaching a silencer to his hand gun, “You sticking to your daggers?"

“Until I get used to a hand gun,” Chan answers, already twirling two daggers between his fingers. “Can’t wait to use these babies."

Soonyoung rolls his eyes as he loads two more handguns and tosses each one to Minghao and Junhui. “Remember, no killing unless — "

“Unless they make the first move,” Chan interrupts, grinning cheekily at his leader, “Or they’re guarding something.”

“Also, don’t forget to — "

“Wear my gloves, yes, hyung."

Soonyoung snickers, putting the bags back into the compartments. He adjusts the hat on his head and slides on a pair of gloves.

“I’ve taught you well,” he says proudly, then turns to Seungcheol. “Anyway, I think we’re ready."

“Not so fast,” Jihoon interrupts, and Soonyoung almost groans out loud, turning around. “You guys are gonna need this, just for safety precautions." Jihoon hands each of them an earpiece, and Soonyoung tries to ignore the unsettling shivers when their fingers brush against each other.

“What’s this for?” Chan asks curiously, eyeing the little device.

”So we can communicate and guide you through the buildings,” Joshua answers, reaching over to help Chan put the earpiece on, “In case there are people still inside and you don’t know where they are. Jeonghan is working on hacking the cameras right now, so just wait a little longer. I’ll link the earpieces for each pair.”

Soonyoung places his hand gun in his holster before he attempts to put in his earpiece.

“I’ve got it,” Jeonghan says, gesturing to his laptop. The screen is showing a total of twelve surveillance cameras, showcasing the inside of one of the buildings, but the rooms aren't all abandoned. “There's people in there, and they all look like they’re in a gang. Not much guys, but you definitely don’t wanna take the chance. Team, I’ll send you the script for the other buildings.”

Soonyoung sighs when his earpiece falls off and almost gives up on trying to wear it when Jihoon clicks his tongue, his fingers already reaching up to hook it in his ear securely.

“I’m guiding you, you moronic shit,” he mutters, just low enough for the two of them to hear. “Don’t do anything stupid, and listen to my every command.”

Soonyoung purses his lips at the insult, the shivers intensifying, and he’s sure Jihoon feels it too at this point but neither of them mention it. “Yes, sir.”

“There’s four buildings in the complex,” Jeonghan says. “We’ll each guide you through one while Seungkwan hacks the computer systems. Minghao, you’ll be partnered with me. Junhui with Joshua, Chan with Seokmin, and Soonyoung with Jihoon. Listen to everything we say 'cause one wrong move can get you caught.”

”Bring any useful files you find,” Seungcheol says, peering over Seungkwan’s shoulder to look at his screen, “Or anything that seems useful.”

”You guys should come back at a certain time so we can keep consistent,” Hansol suggests from his seat. “We should at least get to the next spot by afternoon.”

”Good thinking,” Seungcheol agrees, glancing at his watch. “It’s nine now. We’ll give you an hour, sound good?”

”I’m sure we can get a lot done in that time,” Chan says confidently.

”Alright, Soonyoung,” Seungcheol says, clapping a hand on the other alpha’s shoulders. “Recite the rules.”

Sighing, the other leader complies and pulls away from Jihoon. Reciting the rules is something Seungcheol has established when doing group missions. _To make sure you know what to do_, he’d say, _so if you get into trouble, you’ll get your head clear and prepare yourself for the worst. _As much of a nuisance it is when he wants to get the mission done and over with, it’s actually helped Soonyoung in some cases when he overthinks.

“Lie low and be quiet,” he answers. “Don’t engage unless you’re in deep shit — "

Seungcheol gives him a look.

“ — Don’t make the first move unless it’s an emergency,” Soonyoung corrects with a cheeky smile. "Don’t worry about your teammates unless they call you. Make sure your head is in the game. Don’t look back. If you’re in major trouble, call by code — "

“And no matter what?” Seungcheol presses.

“...People first, everyone else after,” says Soonyoung, and he winces at the hesitancy in his voice, hoping the older alpha wouldn’t notice it. He feels a stare burn into the side of his face, but he ignores it the best he can.

Seungcheol doesn’t seem to pick up on it, patting his shoulder once more. “Good. Ready?"

”Born ready,” Soonyoung answers. He turns to his team. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this guy recently confessed to me and I already told him I don’t feel the same way. He was all chill about it and all, but he literally will not leave me alone now and it’s starting to get annoying. How do you kindly tell someone off without making yourself seem like a bitch?
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019 and AAA!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “All files were wiped clean,” Seungkwan says, pursing his lips. “There’s nothing."
> 
> All of a sudden, a gunshot fires from the complex, followed by several shouts and yells. Everyone in the bus freezes at the sound, brains working to think of the worst. 
> 
> Minghao hadn’t come back yet.


	6. Involute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Involute  
/ˈinvəˌlo͞ot/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. involved or intricate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter! Now we get to the actual missions itself!
> 
> Vote for Seventeen in MAMA 2019! You can vote on either the website or Twitter with the hashtags #MAMA2019 and #seventeen (Make sure the ’s’ is lowercase!) Retweets are counted as a vote too! Keep voting so we can get them a daesang this year! Also vote for them on AAA!
> 
> Categories they’re nominated for:
> 
> \- Artist of the Year - 4th place  
\- Song of the Year - 4th place  
\- Worldwide Fans’ Choice - 4th place  
\- Best Male Group - 3rd place  
\- Best Dance Performance Male Group - 3rd place (We can get them a 3rd consecutive win, right?)
> 
> Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> As long as Seventeen is in the top 3, we’ll be fine but let’s not be lazy, Carats! Keep voting no matter what :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOPYEONG**

**JULY 18, 2019**

**Location:** Namyangju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Hopyeong-dong

Soonyoung’s team exits the bus and stealthily crosses the street, crouching down near a hole in the fence by some caution tape. The building is a good few meters away, and the outside is bare. It almost looks post-apocalyptic. 

_ They must be inside_ _,_ Soonyoung thinks as he turns to the other three.

”Dino, you’ll go into the building in front,” Soonyoung murmurs to Chan, glancing up occasionally to make sure nobody is outside. “Eight, Nyx, you’ll take the next two. I’ll take the one on the far end. Follow the orders given to you. If you’re done scouting in an hour, head back to the van and wait there, got it?”

”Got it,” his team replies, nodding affirmatively. 

”See you in a few.” Soonyoung nods back before passing the caution tape and hurrying to his designated building.

When he gets inside with the miraculous feeling of not being spotted, he’s not surprised to see that the place is practically torn apart. The ceiling is charred and the paint on the walls are peeling. The furniture is still intact, but scattered all around. There’s a few graffiti here and there but it’s the same as any other abandoned place.

An eerie feeling creeps up on him. Everything is silent, save for the faint sound of the cars on the highway. He almost jumps when a click flutters in his ear.

_”Hoshi, can you hear me?”_ Jihoon’s voice rings in his ear, quiet yet clear.

”Crystal clear,” Soonyoung replies, examining the place. It’s not the time to be hostile.

The line stays quiet for a moment, so Soonyoung takes it upon himself to explore the area quickly. A receptionist desk waits for him by the staircase so he walks up to it, rummaging through the drawers. There’s papers and notes inside, but when he reads them, it only has information about the building — nothing useful.

_”Find anything?”_ Jihoon’s voice comes again.

”Nothing,” Soonyoung mutters, closing the drawers silently. “This whole bottom floor is empty. I’m heading upstairs. These buildings might’ve been offices.”

_”Hold on. Let me change cameras. Stay put,”_ Jihoon says firmly, and there’s a faint clicking noise that in Soonyoung’s ear. The alpha blows out a puff of air as he crouches behind the desk and waits, eyes roaming the walls to make up for his impatience. _“Alright, you can go up, but there’s a man at the last room on the left. Don’t make too much noise.”_

”Roger that,” Soonyoung replies, standing up and heading towards the staircase.

When he reaches the second floor, he can faintly hear a voice coming from the last room like Jihoon said and cautiously makes his way into the first room. It‘s a little less empty than the first floor, with broken desks, cardboard boxes and papers scattered everywhere. Most of it has information about sales and statistics, nothing that Soonyoung can bother to read. 

_“Nothing?”_ Jihoon speaks again.

”Nada,” Soonyoung whispers, sighing in annoyance. “I’ll tell you if I find something, stop asking. There’s one more room before I reach the man, right? Is there a third floor?”

_”Four floors,”_ Jihoon responds, and there’s more clicking in the background. _“There’s two more men on the top floor, but they’re coming down. Don’t leave the room, but go search for somewhere to hide. They might be meeting with the other man.”_ He pauses for a moment, then says,_ "And just so you know, I’m asking so you don’t die. Be grateful.”_

Soonyoung exhales through his mouth and swivels his head around in search of a place to hide. In the corner of the room, there’s a cardboard box big enough for him to fit in, yet small enough to blend in with the other boxes. It’s the puniest hiding spot he’s ever seen, but it’s better than being caught.

_“Hide, now,”_ Jihoon commands. _“The other man is walking out of the room.”_

Soonyoung crouch runs to the box and opens it, quickly compacting himself into it, and it’s times like these where he feels grateful for being so flexible. He bends his head downwards and squeezes his legs together, making sure his breathing is shallow as he hears footsteps coming from either side of the hallway, along with deep voices before it stops just outside the room.

”...don’t even know why we’re still here,” man one complains. “Ain’t no use in being in a gang if we ain’t do nuh'in.”

”Be grateful boss took your sorry ass in and gave you a life,” man two snorts. “You’d prob'ly be livin' in the streets if ain't for him.”

”Couldn’t he just take us with him?” man one speaks again. “What he be workin’ on?”

”He don't want us interfering with the mission,” man three retorts. “All he told us was that he’s searching for his target down south. Ain’t no shit on where though. Apparently, he’s try'na get revenge on his son for some reason, said he betrayed ‘em.”

”His son?” man one questions, sounding surprised. “Ain’t that a little harsh? Is boss gonna kill him or something?”

“Ugh, don’t be such a softie,” man two says with disgust, and there’s a slapping sound. “Who cares? If his son betrayed him, he prob'ly deserves it. Besides, I’m pretty sure the target and his son are two different people.”

”I’m just curious,” man one mutters. “I’m tired of standing around all day and waitin' for nuh'in to happen.”

”Hold out a little longer, will ya?” man three huffs. “Boss said if nothing happens tomorrow, we can go down to Mugan and meet up with Seongjee-hyung. Boss entrusted that man with all his plans. Speaking of plans, where’s the next fire happening?”

”Mugan, dumb shit,” man one answers with a sneer. “They’re probably packing up now as we speak. Seongjee-hyung said we’d go to Dangu, don’t really know why when the place will be burnt to shit in a few days. Ain't it stupid that we’re basically leavin' a trail of fire to where we’re goin'?”

”Boss said his wife is gon' stay with him, so I’d say his plan is working,” man two huffs a laugh. “Come on, let’s go meet Woejeun and Kihyun-hyung. I heard Woejeun is paying for drinks...”

The voices and footsteps fade away until silence is only heard and only then is Soonyoung aware of the burning pain on the back of his neck.

_”It’s safe.”_ Jihoon finally gives him the clear, and there’s a faint sound of pen scratching on paper._ “I’m surprised your head hasn’t fallen off.”_

”It’s about to,” Soonyoung hisses, popping his head out of the box and rolling his head around, trying to get rid of the excruciating pain on the back of his neck. He climbs out of the cardboard box and stretches, feeling satisfied with how his bones crack. “Did you hear all that? I think I have a headache hearing them talk.”

_”’Course I did,”_ Jihoon scoffs.

“The boss does have a target down south then,” Soonyoung murmurs, ignoring the omega’s sassy attitude as he walks out of the room and quickly scans the next one. “Revenge on his son for betrayal, huh? Seems cliché. So his son is down south too?”

_“I don’t think so,”_ Jihoon says thoughtfully. _“The guy said the target and his son are two different people, so it’s most likely that his target is someone close to his son or someone related.”_

”But wouldn’t it make more sense if he targets his son instead?”

_”Probably,”_ Jihoon sighs, _“but his son is probably the type to fall apart when someone close to him gets harmed, like a second-hand torture.”_

The alpha walks down to the last room and does a quick examination. “They’re going down to Mugan,” Soonyoung ponders as he opens empty drawers. “Think something important is there?”

_”Maybe,”_ Jihoon hums, and everything about the interaction between them is so casual, like it once was. Soonyoung doesn’t know how to feel about that. _“Especially if this so-called Seongjee guy has all the plans that this boss entrusts him with.”_

Soonyoung walks up the stairs to the third floor. “Seongjee must be working closely with the boss then. A second-in-command perhaps?”

_”It’s a possibility. They’re leaving from Dangu next, so we still have time. There’s gotta be something important there if they were temporarily living in a neighborhood instead of barren places,”_ Jihoon concludes.

”That means they’ve already targeted Wonju,” Soonyoung sighs heavily, scanning through the rooms. “That also means they’re probably heading towards Daegu or Busan next. Daejeon and Gwangju are too far southwest at this point. They did say somewhere south.”

_”That Seongjee guy,”_ Jihoon says, and there’s an airy lilt to his voice as he thinks. _“He probably knows where if he’s the guy the boss trusts so much. They said they’d go to Dangu too for whatever reason.”_

”We probably should go to Mugan next instead of Changhyeon then, and then we can follow to Dangu instead of the other villages,” Soonyoung says, walking up the stairs to the fourth floor. “Changhyeon and Nomun are probably just landscapes, nothing important there. We’re just gonna waste our time searching those places."

_“I’ll tell S.Coups when you’re back,”_ Jihoon agrees. _“For now, just search the last few rooms, make sure you don't miss anything."_

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything after that. He continues searching the fourth floor quickly yet thoroughly. There’s nothing much in the rooms; fallen pieces of wood, more broken desks, even more useless papers. It’s almost a loss to search the rest of the floor until he reaches the double doors at the end of the hall. Through the broken glass, he can make out a meeting room, similar to the one back at the Headquarters. He opens the door, freezing when it makes a terribly loud creak.

_“You’re good,”_ Jihoon murmurs, and there’s more clicking in the background.

“Thanks,” Soonyoung huffs lightly, stepping inside. “Glad you acknowledge that now.” 

_“That’s not what I meant, idiot,”_ Jihoon says, and Soonyoung can imagine the scowl on his face. The alpha childishly sticks his tongue out up at the camera in the corner of the room, and Jihoon scoffs. _“Take this mission seriously, asshole. If you get caught, all I’m going to say to you is I told you so."_

“There’s nothing else in here anyway,” Soonyoung grumbles, exiting the room. “I’m heading back. I think the most we’re gonna get is whatever we just heard."

_“Okay, you do that,”_ Jihoon hums, more clicking on his end. _“I’m going offline then."_

“Wait, what?” Soonyoung splutters as he sneaks down the stairs. “Woozi, you fucking — get your ass back online. Woozi. Woozi, I’m not fucking kidding. I swear to God, if I get caught by one of these fuckers, you’re going to hear it from me.” 

_“Relax,”_ Jihoon snickers, and Soonyoung scowls at the camera, flipping him off. _“Wow, really mature. I just wasn’t going to say anything unless you ran into trouble, calm your tits. Anyway, I can’t help you once you go outside because there’s no cameras there, so good luck.”_

There’s a click in his ear, and the alpha huffs. “Prick.”

—

**MIDI-BUS**

** JULY 18, 2019 **

**Location:** Namyangju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Hopyeong-dong

“What a bummer,” Jihoon sighs when Soonyoung enters the bus. “You’re alive."

Soonyoung rolls his eyes as he sets his hand gun down on the compact table, removing his earpiece along with his gloves. “Better luck next time, I suppose."

“We’re just waiting on Eight,” Jeonghan says, eyes trained on his laptop screen as he guides the Chinese man out. “There’s a guy patrolling the perimeter, so watch out for him. Other than that, you should be good to go."

Soonyoung turns to Chan and Junhui, who are sitting towards the back of the bus. “Find anything?"

“Not a single thing,” Chan answers, looking disappointed. “I was so ready to fight."

“Nothing on my end either,” Junhui responds. “The whole building was practically empty. I don’t know why those guys are still there."

“Those guys are heading down to Mugan,” Soonyoung explains, glancing at Jihoon. “I eavesdropped on some men in my building. They're in a gang, and the boss apparently wants revenge on his son for a betrayal. He has a target down south, but the son and the target are two different people. If nobody else interferes with them, they’re heading down with some guy named Seongjee, probably the second-in-command."

“The next fire is happening in Mugan,” Jihoon continues writing some notes down in a notepad, “but the men over there are probably packing up now as we speak. The guys in the complex Minghao is in now are heading over to Dangu for some reason. I’d say there’s something important in Mugan if they’re traveling there even though the place will be burnt down soon. One of the men said the boss’s wife was going to be staying with him and that the plan was working. I don’t know what the wife has to do with this."

“So there also must be something important in Mugan if they’re meeting with this so-called second-in-command,” Seungcheol says thoughtfully, crossing his arms. “I guess we’re going there instead of Changhyeon, and then we’ll follow through to Dangu instead of the other places. Seungkwan, any files?"

“All files were wiped clean,” Seungkwan says, pursing his lips. “There’s nothing."

All of a sudden, a gunshot fires from the complex, followed by several shouts and yells. Everyone in the bus freezes at the sound, brains working to think of the worst. 

Minghao hadn’t come back yet.

Soonyoung whips around to Jeonghan. “Where’s Eight?"

Jeonghan looks equally concerned. “I’m not sure now. He should be on his way. I couldn’t lead him outside since there’s no cameras. Hold on.” The beta presses the button on his earpiece and speaks, “Cheonsa to Eight. Cheonsa to Eight. Eight, can you hear me?"

Everyone waits with bated breaths as Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrow in concentration.

For a moment, Soonyoung’s eyes flicker to Junhui, who’s already standing up and clutching the seat in front of him tightly, knuckles white. They make eye contact and in those few seconds, Soonyoung can see how scared the beta is, eyes wavering with uncertainty. He can smell a tinge of anxiety coming from the Chinese man and he can’t help but feel a little nostalgic, remembering the feeling of being worried for someone he loves.

It’s only when Jeonghan lets out a relieved sigh does Soonyoung break their mini staring contest, turning to the other beta.

“Alright, we’ll be waiting. Hurry back,” Jeonghan says, glancing at Seungcheol with an affirmative nod. 

Relaxing, Soonyoung blows out a breath and asks, “Everything okay?"

“Told me some guys decided it would be the perfect time to begin a shooting range,” Jeonghan says dryly. “He’ll be alright though, said he’s a few feet from the fence."

From the corner of his eye, Soonyoung sees Junhui sink back into his seat, looking rather embarrassed. He shakes his head with a subtle smile. Minghao, although an omega, never took shit from anyone and maybe Junhui is feeling a little guilty for doubting him. Soonyoung can relate all too much.

Three taps on the bus door snaps him out of his thoughts before he can get in too deep and he turns to find Minghao standing in front, empty-handed. Seungcheol presses the button to let him in.

“Nothing?” Soonyoung asks, although he knows what the answer is.

“Nada,” Minghao shakes his head, taking his gloves off. “But I did hear some guys talking about some base down in Dangu, same ones who decided to turn the complex into a shooting game. Said the men there are setting the place on fire in the next few days. The guys are heading down to Mugan first."

"Bǎobǎo, are you hurt?” Junhui questions immediately, standing up and walking over.

Soonyoung has heard Junhui calling Minghao bǎobǎo multiple times before during their small get-togethers as a unit but never really knew what it meant. Judging by the faint pink dusted on Minghao’s cheeks, he assumes it’s something gross like _baby _or _babe. _

He almost cringes. Of course, Junhui would do that.

Minghao makes a face at the beta, pushing him away lightly when Junhui comes near him.

“I’m not a child,” says Minghao stiffly. “I can handle myself, thank you very much."

Junhui looks sad. “Sorry..."

Soonyoung, despite not being the one talking to the beta, has the sudden urge to apologizewhen he sees the look on Junhui’s face. The older scout looks like a sad, lost kitten. If it weren’t for their biology, Soonyoung would say Junhui’s ears had flattened and his tail had dropped.

Minghao seems to regret his actions and words instantly. 

“Let’s just sit down,” the omega sighs, pushing Junhui down the aisle and forcing him into a seat.

Junhui’s smile comes back, wide and bright, and the two begin to converse in their mother tongues naturally.

Smiling at the sight, Soonyoung feels a bitter feeling crawling in his chest at how similar Minghao and Junhui are compared to him and Jihoon. It’s like looking into a mirror, yet the mirror had shattered and broken into a million tiny pieces, destroying their once hopeful future.

Soonyoung only hopes Minghao and Junhui can actually keep their relationship afloat.

“It’s confirmed the n,” Seungcheol concludes, sitting down in the driver’s seat and starting the bus back up. “We’ll head down to Mugan first, see what’s going on over there. Then we’ll go to Dangu. We’ll figure out what to do from there." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So more Soonhoon and a little sprinkle of Junhao :)
> 
> First of all, if my updates haven’t been showing for the past few weeks, I’m terribly sorry for that. I realize that I needed to change the chapter publication date since I’ve written a few chapters beforehand! Every chapter after this should be showing up from now on! Thank you to @RealRawr for pointing this out to me!
> 
> Also, many thanks to those who gave me advice about the question last chapter! My life is slowly going back to normal, haha.
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019 and AAA!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Fuck, when you said you weren’t exactly small,” he starts, a little shyly as he peeks at Soonyoung through his fingers, “I didn’t think...I didn’t think you were this big. What the hell, Kwon Soonyoung. God, I regret not taking our time during prep. Fuck, I’m fucking screwed — literally."
> 
> Soonyoung’s lips curl up. “Well,” he says casually, fingers scooping some of the slick. “I did warn you, Hoonie, but I don’t think you believed me."


	7. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love  
/ləv/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. an intense feeling of deep affection.  
\- a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.  
\- affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one's behalf.  
\- a formula for ending an affectionate letter.  
\- a personified figure of love, often represented as Cupid.
> 
> 2\. a great interest and pleasure in something.
> 
> 3\. a person or thing that one loves.  
\- a friendly form of address.  
\- used to express affectionate approval for someone.
> 
> verb
> 
> 1\. feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).  
\- like or enjoy very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, a few things to kick this chapter off:
> 
> 0.5) TAGS HAVE BEEN ADDED, HEUHEHUE
> 
> 1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR MOST BELOVED PRODUCER AND GRUMPY KITTEN, LEE JIHOON! I hope you have the most wonderful day, even when you’re traveling. Thank you for the amazing songs you produce and your hard work in contribution to Seventeen. We love you ❤
> 
> 2) I pray to all the high heavens that our dearest leader gets well! Please, let’s continue to support him and reassure him that Carats will always be his rock to lean on if he’s ever feeling upset. I also hope that Seventeen will get the rest they deserve with the tour going on and traveling in 6 different countries in less than a month. ❤
> 
> 3) I’m so grateful to Winter Waters (mystmae) for taking notice of this work! Thank you so much for your reassuring and motivating words, I hopefully won’t disappoint! 
> 
> 4) Please pay attention to the timeline from here on out!
> 
> 5) EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN VIEWER’S DISCRETION. 
> 
> (Also, there is A LOT of song references here, good luck catching them all!)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**FLAT 13B**

**JANUARY 8, 2016**

**Location:** Incheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Seoknam-dong

Jihoon giggles, lovely and sweet as honey as Soonyoung tosses him on their bed with a playful growl. He’s swarmed with emotions, drowning in his feelings. Everywhere he looks, his mind is filled with  _Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung,_ his scent, his voice, his face ― everything. His body feels like it’s floating, like nothing can touch him. He feels intangible, unreachable. However, in his alpha’s arms, he can feel a warm and gentle fire kissing his skin every time Soonyoung touches him, encasing him like a shield.

He’s not going to lie ― he feels a little delirious and maybe it’s just his heat talking. Or maybe it’s because he and Soonyoung have finally decided to make the next big move in their relationship. Consensual, of course. Maybe it’s because his heart is overflowing with affection from the way Soonyoung has been pampering him for the past few weeks.

His alpha had taken care of him so lovingly, coming at his every beck and call when he needed something. Soonyoung had treated him like a king, making sure he stayed hydrated and well fed while his pre-heat crashed over him in waves. His alpha had helped prepped him with his fingers when he began to leak slick, all the while squirming and whining out softly as the pain in his abdomen intensified and pleasure ran down the base of his spine. 

His heat had hit pretty abruptly, when he and Soonyoung had been training with each other into the wee hours of the night. He vaguely remembers collapsing on his knees as he curled into a ball, crying out at the sudden intrusion in his lower half.

The chilly air made goosebumps rise in his arms, sending a wave of shivers down his spine. Slick had begun to leak out of him fairly rapidly and his alpha had taken immediate action, gathering him in his arms before sprinting back to their flat in record time.

“We’re almost there,” Soonyoung had ushered to him. “We’re almost home, kitten. I’ll take care of you."

Jihoon hadn’t paid attention to their surroundings, but he found comfort in the way Soonyoung’s arms curled around him protectively and how he murmured quick reassurances to him, that he’d take care of him like he promised. He kept true to his word when they got back to their flat, immediately offering Jihoon a birth control pill from their ready-made heat drawer.

Now here they are, in their shared flat, the realization of what’s to come hitting them both. They’d prepared for this, Jihoon assures himself, but it doesn’t quell the nervousness he feels bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He  knows Soonyoung will take care of him and keep his promise, but it’s the first time he’ll truly be vulnerable. He’ll be wearing his heart on his sleeve, something he never thought he’d do in all the years he’s been in the mafia. 

_But it’s okay,_ he thinks, grinning when Soonyoung crawls on top of him, _it’s okay because it’s my idiot. _

Jihoon sighs out contently when Soonyoung leans down and noses his neck, peppering his skin with gentle kisses and kitten licks. He wounds his arms around his alpha’s neck, their laughter dissolving into a melody of pleasant sighs that fill the peacefulness of their bedroom. It’s times like these where Jihoon wishes he wasn’t in such a demanding industry, wishes to simply live a normal life with Soonyoung by his side. 

He tries not to let his thoughts wander too far. He knows how selfish it is, to want something for himself. Soonyoung helps him dispel his thoughts with a light caress to his waist, squeezing gently. He feels his alpha’s other hand slide along his thigh, hitching it up and hooking it around his waist securely.

It’s unfair, he tries to convince himself when he sees Soonyoung peer down at him lovingly, how someone so perfect would want to choose someone like him as their mate. Jihoon has so many flaws, imperfections he nitpicks at. Soonyoung is everything he isn’t, and Jihoon is tainting him. He’s a selfish prick, but when he sees his alpha coo softly at him, touch him like he’s made of glass, he realizes how wrong he is. He deserves Soonyoung just as much as Soonyoung deserves him, so he shuts down his self-deprecating thoughts and focuses on the man on top of him.

And his alpha grins at him, lips curling up in that familiar eye smile. It’s like he knew what Jihoon was thinking about, and that smile is his reward for warding away his own demons. 

“Hello,” Soonyoung utters, acting like a complete fool. “Very nice to meet you on these circumstances."

What an idiot.

Jihoon is utterly in love.

He can only hope Soonyoung can feel even just  _half _ as much the amount of love he feels now. He wants his alpha to feel the same intense, burning, passionate fire he feels everyday, every minute, every second. He’s never good with words, but Jihoon wants to ramble about everything he’s feeling, his overflowing heart, his hay-wired mind ― but there’s nothing to be said when they both understand each other so well, gazes expressing their emotions all the same.

Jihoon feels the grip on his waist tighten briefly before loosening again, and then Soonyoung’s dipping his head down to press their lips together in a gentle lip-lock. They don’t move much, occasionally pulling away briefly only to kiss sweetly again. In moments like this, there’s barely any activity going on. They simply take each other in. Eyes fluttered shut, hands pressing feathery touches against warm skin, minds decluttered in a wave of calm. They paint a galaxy on each other, to make the other see stars and hues of blues, purples, pinks, and reds before the real action begins steadily.

Jihoon feels Soonyoung part his mouth and that’s when he takes his cue to lead, to reassure his alpha that he  _wants _ this. It had become a silent rule between them that enables him to consent while simultaneously giving Soonyoung permission to continue without the embarrassment of tripping over his words. His alpha understands, tilts his head to deepen the kiss ever so slightly, and when Jihoon grazes the back of his neck with his fingertips, he fills the remaining space between their parted lips.

Together, they move steadily and soon enough, the room begins to fill with the slick sounds of their lips and tongues sliding against each other. Jihoon keeps one arm around Soonyoung’s neck while the other trails downwards, appreciatively running his hand across his broad chest and firm muscle through the thin cloth. Soft pants of arousal and quiet moans of pleasure accompany the quietness of their bedroom, and Jihoon can feel his pants begin to tighten at all the melodies he’s hearing. It’s calling to him, telling him to _t_ _ ake, take, take. Take what’s yours. Soonyoung is yours. _

Jihoon pulls away slightly, just enough to feel Soonyoung’s hot breath fan across his lips. He catches his own breath for a moment, mind more hazed with lust. All he can remember is the addicting way Soonyoung uses his mouth and kisses him feverishly, like he can’t get enough, like he needs more. His eyes lower, fixated on the way his alpha wets his own lips with his tongue, making them look more plump and elicit a vibrant red hue, slick with spit.

Jihoon lets Soonyoung kiss him again and again and again, until he decides he’s too impatient to continue with the lack of foreplay. Gently, he brings his knee up and grazes it against Soonyoung’s clothed length. He has to stop himself for a moment to think about how that length will be inside him soon. He feels more slick gush out of him at the thought, his face reddening with embarrassment as a quiet whine slips pass his lips without his permission.

Upon hearing his whine, Soonyoung hums questioningly, as if asking  is something wrong? When Jihoon shakes his head encouragingly, he ruts down against Jihoon’s knee, a soft sigh of pleasure escaping him as his hips roll tantalizingly.

His alpha is a sight to behold, with his hair disheveled, damp with sweat and his fringe covering his eyes. Beads of sweat roll down his temples, dripping down on his chest and disappearing underneath his shirt. His hooded tiger-like eyes pierce into him like he’s a prey, hips still rolling temptingly. Jihoon is almost afraid of how wild his thoughts are becoming, how his sweatpants stick to the back of his thighs disgustingly uncomfortably. His raging hard-on presses urgently against his hip, weeping and leaking. 

He wants to _taint _Soonyoung.

Too caught up in his fantasies, he almost doesn’t notice when Soonyoung’s pace gradually becomes slower. When he looks up at him in confusion, his alpha simply raises his hands and begins to raise his shirt up to his chest.

A low hiss escapes pass his lips as he takes in Jihoon’s naked torso, exposing his fair skin and washboard abs. Jihoon can feel Soonyoung’s gaze, washing over him like water. He barely manages to suppress the shiver down his spine when Soonyoung’s fingers graze over his stomach, tracing the lines of definition down to his V.

He struggles to fight down the hot blush visible on his chest as he stares up at his alpha, knowing Soonyoung absolutely hates it when he avoids his gaze. _It’s a trust thing,_ his idiot would say. _I know you trust me when you look at me directly in the eye. You wouldn’t lie then. If you look away, I’ll know you’re feeling uncomfortable and stop until you’re ready._

A low hum of approval is what makes Jihoon’s chest swell with pride. Throughout his pre-heat sessions, Soonyoung has always encouraged him to become more confident in himself, especially around him. At first, Jihoon had been too stubborn, too shy, and had even gone as far as to cover his face the whole time when Soonyoung had prepped him with his fingers, unable to handle the embarrassment as little mewls and moans escaped him.

Soonyoung had been patient, of course, showering him with small kisses and whispers of praises when he’d stop himself from hiding away, and his alpha had prepped him enough times for Jihoon to gain just a bit of confidence in himself now.

“You’re so pretty,” Soonyoung murmurs appreciatively, eyes roaming down Jihoon’s torso. “All mine, my pretty omega."

Just a _bit_ of confidence.

Jihoon feels the blush on his cheeks intensify. His alpha rips open his shirt like paper, leaving him exposed even more. Instinctively, his hand flies up to cover what he can of his face, but Soonyoung tuts and grabs his wrist, pinning it to the bed. Both of his legs drop back down on the bed shyly. His face is flaming now as his alpha’s tiger-like gaze pierces into him, taking in every bit of him, his body, his soul.

“Soonie...” Jihoon mumbles with a slight whine. “You’re staring again..."

Jihoon hates feeling exposed, especially if it’s within Soonyoung’s sight. He loves having his alpha’s attention, loves it when Soonyoung’s thoughts are full of him and just him, and maybe it’s just the omega side of him, but not like this. Not when he’s showing the most vulnerable parts of himself. It’s embarrassing, especially when he’s been leaking slick for the past half hour and barely any progress had been made.

He tries not to dwell on it too much when Soonyoung settles himself between his legs, hooking them around his waist again. His alpha leans forward, supporting his weight with his arms as he leans down, kissing the spot just below Jihoon’s ear. He blows hot air into it gently, making Jihoon squirm at the sensation.

“So pretty,” Soonyoung says again, grinding their hips together lazily. “You’re so fucking pretty, kitten."

Jihoon shudders, at both the friction of their clothed lengths rubbing against each other and the praise. He wraps his arms loosely around Soonyoung’s neck and hides his face in his neck. Quiet whimpers leave his throat as he tries to quell his blush. Soonyoung stops moving, and he has to suppress the complaining whine stuck in his throat.

“Hoonie,” Soonyoung croons, nudging Jihoon’s jaw with his nose, “Look at me, baby, look at me."

Jihoon hesitantly pulls his head back and nervously meets Soonyoung’s gaze, chewing on his bottom lip timidly. It doesn’t last long though because he’s averting his gaze to the ceiling, cheeks painted with hues of reds and pinks. Soonyoung nudges him again, cooing softly and murmuring sweet nothings until Jihoon gains the courage to look at him again. He struggles to keep eye contact, only feeling the urge to look away again, but he tries. 

His alpha rewards him with a kiss. “Beautiful baby. God, you’re so pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty. I’m so lucky to have such a pretty you."

And Jihoon believes him.

He scoffs, feeling the blush diminish significantly as he retorts, “You’re a weak man, Kwon Soonyoung."

“Well, I’m weak for what it’s worth."

Oh, there’s the blush again.

Jihoon scoffs again. “Sap."

Soonyoung smiles at him, wide and loving and warm and everything Jihoon had fallen in love with. It’s the smile that makes his eyes disappear behind fluffy cheeks, the one that’s as radiant and bright as the sun, the smile that makes Jihoon feel like he’s won the lottery. He wants to smile back, match Soonyoung’s enthusiasm with his own, but before he can, his alpha is kissing him again and Jihoon can  feel it. He can feel the love Soonyoung tries to convey, the words he’s trying to say, and the actions he wants to display. 

Jihoon tries to pour as much of himself into the kiss as possible, overwhelmed with the gradual need to love Soonyoung, show him, tell him, whatever he can. He lets his hands fall to Soonyoung’s still-clothed chest again, fingertips fumbling with his tucked shirt. They don’t break the kiss, which had become more eager than before, and Jihoon finds another whine escaping his throat without his permission when his hands try to tug Soonyoung’s shirt out of his sweatpants.

Soonyoung breaks the kiss then, guides Jihoon’s hands to the collar of his shirt so his omega can rip it open. 

Jihoon almost has no time to huff in satisfaction when he manages to finally rip Soonyoung’s shirt off after a few long seconds before Soonyoung is on him again, lips attaching to the column of his neck like a magnet. He tilts his head more, hands fumbling against the waistband of Soonyoung’s sweatpants hastily. A particularly harsh suck on his neck is what causes an accidental moan to escape his throat, surprised at the sudden attack. His alpha temporarily detaches his lips again, sliding his pants off with ease and throwing it away before attaching himself again.

With the unexpected distraction, Jihoon doesn’t notice when his alpha slides his sweatpants off, nor does he notice when it’s thrown aside. It’s only when Soonyoung begins kissing down his chest, leaving a wet trail of heat in its wake, does he realize what happened. 

He can feel his breaths becoming more shallow the lower Soonyoung goes, his warm lips kissing every inch of him. When his alpha stops  just above his belly button, he lets out an involuntary whimper, fingers curling into his alpha’s hair in anticipation. However, Soonyoung doesn’t go any further than that. Instead, he keeps kissing around his belly button, eyes meeting Jihoon’s mischievously. He bites down gently on the area _just_ above his waistband and Jihoon squirms with a gasp, grip tightening in the alpha’s hair.

“Soonie,” he insists, eyebrows furrowed with frustration. “Soonyoungie..."

“Yes, baby?” Soonyoung has the audacity to smile at him like nothing’s wrong.

Jihoon squirms more, feeling the blush coming back. “Please...you know what I want..."

“No, I don’t know what you want,” Soonyoung continues, his smile growing bigger, more teasing. “What do you want, kitten? What do you need me to do?"

Jihoon wants to_cry_. Soonyoung knows what he wants, what he needs, but he’s playing hard to get. His alpha knows how desperate he can get in situations where he’s being denied, being questioned. Soonyoung knows exactly how to rile him up, how to make him _beg__._ And as much as he doesn’t want to give in, to defend what’s left of his pride, he knows Soonyoung can be just as stubborn as he is, if not more. He knows he’ll lose, especially under the influence of his heat, so he tries once.

“I want ― “ Jihoon has to swallow the lump in his throat as he averts his gaze again, “I want...I want you..."

Soonyoung hums in acknowledgment, still teething the skin above the omega’s waistband. Jihoon can feel him smiling. “You want me? But you already have me, Jihoonie."

“No,” Jihoon whines before he can stop himself, eyes falling on his alpha again. “I ― I want you to ― to..."

Soonyoung lifts his head, gaze piercing into Jihoon’s and causing the latter to look away again. “You want me to...?"

“T-To..."

“Look at me, baby,” Soonyoung says. “Look at me and tell me what you want."

Jihoon obeys, lifting one of his hands to shove a knuckle in his mouth in embarrassment. Soonyoung is staring up at him, eyes sharp yet face so understanding and caring. He’s waiting for him, Jihoon realizes, waiting for him to give his consent. He feels the overwhelming emotions flood his heart at that, at how careful Soonyoung is being, at how accommodating and patient he is. There’s a familiar heat gathering on the bridge of his nose, spreading behind his eyes and he knows what’s about to happen if he doesn’t say anything anytime soon.

He tries again. “I want you to ― I want you to...to fuck ― “ He shakes his head and changes his words, the heat on his cheeks intensifying. “I want u-us to bond..."

And just that small difference in his words is enough to get Soonyoung smiling at him again, warm and lovely. Jihoon watches as his alpha crawls on top of him and straddles his thighs, hands caressing his waist gently and leaving a burning fire on his skin, hot and addicting. Their lips meet in another kiss and that same fire on his skin somehow gets imbedded in his chest, growing and growing with a burning passion.

“Okay,” Soonyoung breathes, fingers skimming the waistband of Jihoon’s boxers, “Okay, we can do that."

The urge to hide away gradually begins to go away the more Soonyoung keeps kissing him, like he’s telling him _it’s okay, it’s just me, there’s nothing to be scared of. _Jihoon believes everything, helps Soonyoung shrug the last piece of clothing off until he’s vulnerable and exposed and leaking. It’s okay though, because Soonyoung is staring at him so adoringly, touches feathery and light like he’s made of porcelain. 

“So, so, so pretty,” is all Soonyoung whispers, and Jihoon believes him.

He mewls, reminds Soonyoung he can admire him later and right now, he’s becoming desperate to have his alpha’s body against his in a heated session. Soonyoung listens, of course, he always does, and Jihoon lets him leave little galaxies across his neck, painted blue and purple and just a touch of pink. He snakes his hand between them trying to get Soonyoung unclothed when his alpha nudges his hand away, shaking his head.

“Uh-uh,” Soonyoung tuts, pinning his arm to the bed. “Not yet. Be patient, kitten."

“But ― “ Jihoon whines, the urge to cry coming back full force. “I want to ― I want to see you..."

The heat inside his abdomen intensifies at being denied, swirling angrily in his stomach and attacking his lower half. He bites down hard on his lip as helpless whimpers escape him, looking up at Soonyoung pleadingly in the hopes that his alpha will listen. He’s becoming frustrated at this point, patience running thin. He was never one to beat around the bush and the fact that Soonyoung isn’t doing anything makes him nervous.

“All in due time, Hoonie,” Soonyoung soothes, pressing a kiss to his collarbone, “but if you undress me now, I won’t be able to control myself if I want to prep you properly."

“But you've already prepped me for the past few weeks,” Jihoon complains petulantly, eyes fogging over when Soonyoung’s hand grazes over him. “Please...I can ― I can handle it, tiger."

His alpha laughs against his collarbone, sounding just a tad bit apologetic. “I’m going to hurt you, Hoonie,” he mumbles, “even with all our work during your pre-heat. I promise, it’ll hurt less if I prep you now."

Jihoon pouts but he knows Soonyoung has a point. Over the past few weeks during his pre-heat, his alpha had been working him open with his fingers, making sure he would be well-accomodated just for this moment. It had been a terribly embarrassing process, but Jihoon hopes those embarrassing moments are worth it if his alpha had told him he wasn’t exactly  _small._

Soonyoung pats the inside of his thigh gently. “Open, baby."

The omega feels his face erupt into flames at the sudden demand, and when his alpha pats him again, he covers the lower half of his face with his hand and dubiously spreads his legs apart. He feels half-proud and half-embarrassed when he sees the way Soonyoung’s breath stutters, eyes focused on what’s below, taking him all in.

Jihoon squeezes his eyes shut tight, another whine erupting from his throat. Slick is leaking out of him like a waterfall, pooling on the sheets beneath him and it’s embarrassing but Soonyoung is holding his legs apart, eyes dark with arousal, pupils absolutely blown. 

“Idiot,” he tries to scold, but his voice comes out weak and shy. “Don’t ― Don’t stare..."

Soonyoung’s eyes fixate on him and Jihoon has to fight the urge to break eye contact again. Everything about this is absolutely mortifying and he knows ― he knows he’ll have to live with the embarrassment of being exposed, but at the same time, he convinces himself it’s just Soonyoung. It’s just Soonyoung, his alpha, who loves him so dearly, and that alone is enough to take away some of the humiliating emotions he’s feeling.

“You’re pretty,” Soonyoung says simply, and Jihoon watches his alpha run his fingers through the pool of slick. “I don’t think we’ll need lube this time."

Jihoon scowls, a pretty pink dusting the bridge of his nose. “Don’t ― Don’t say things like that so easily!"

Soonyoung's lips curl up sinisterly and Jihoon feels a shudder run down his spine. He watches his alpha raise his hand to his lips and before he can process what’s about to happen, Soonyoung’s tongue flicks out and curls around his digits. It takes Jihoon a moment to realize what his alpha had done and when his brain catches up, he flushes hotly, a squeak slipping past his lips as his eyes fixate on the way his slick drips down Soonyoung’s chin.

It shouldn’t have been as hot as it seemed, but Jihoon’s cock twitches against his hip at the sight, embarrassingly turned on. It should’ve been gross, with the way his alpha had practically just drank his fluids. Instead, Jihoon finds his thoughts wandering further, wondering how it would feel if Soonyoung’s tongue weren’t curled on his own fingers, but inside him instead. 

Soonyoung’s smirk remains sinister as his eyes lower back down Jihoon’s body. “I think,” he says, voice low, “you'll taste so much better coming from you instead of my fingers."

Jihoon gasps, then squeals in surprise when his alpha dives down and lifts his legs to rest on his shoulders. It takes him just a second to register what Soonyoung is doing, his words catching up to his brain, and he can feel his entire body redden at the realization. His alpha is going to _devour _him.

He jerks away instinctively when he feels a wet muscle press against his rim, an unintentional cry of pleasure escaping him. His legs tighten around Soonyoung’s shoulders unconsciously, breathing becoming more shallow as his alpha continues to lick him hungrily, lapping up his slick like water. He covers the lower half of his face again, cheeks dusted red. The heat in his abdomen instantly disperses into a wave of satisfaction, electrocuting his veins and overwhelming him with sensations.

Soonyoung hums, and that’s when Jihoon feels the tip of his tongue push in, spreading him open and prodding his insides teasingly. He squirms, eyes tearing up as his stomach coils. He wants to pull away, because it isn’t fair that he’s already so close to the edge when Soonyoung hasn’t had any stimulation yet. Simultaneously, he doesn’t want his alpha to stop, because he wants more — _selfishly_ wants more.

Soonyoung seems to decide that for him, because his tongue delves deeper into him, hot and wet and _s__o_ good. Jihoon cries out, his hands flying down to grip on his alpha’s hair for leverage. His legs tighten again when Soonyoung places his mouth over him and sucks, tonguing him steadily.

Jihoon’s eyes roll to the back of his head. It’s the first time that night he comes, cock jerking as he unloads on his stomach with a breathy moan. His mind hazes over, and he has half a mind to crawl away from Soonyoung’s touch. He already feels overstimulated, but his hard cock is telling him otherwise. The first time he releases only leaves him with a craving for more, and despite having came just a few seconds ago, the heat inside him is already intensifying again.

Fortunately or unfortunately for him, Soonyoung moves away, his chin and chest completely drenched in his slick. Upon seeing the sight, Jihoon feels a ball of possessiveness swell in his chest. That’s his alpha, his alpha who had managed to wring him out with just his tongue. 

The possessiveness flares as quickly as it came, because Soonyoung leans forward on his knees, staring down at him approvingly. It makes him want to hide away again, and he squirms under his alpha’s piercing look. Another flush presents itself on his chest and he berates himself for getting embarrassed so easily. It’s not like he can help it.

“Gorgeous,” Soonyoung whispers then, running his fingers through the mess on Jihoon’s stomach. “So gorgeous, kitten. God, I absolutely adore you. My shining diamond."

A whine slips out of the omega’s lips when Soonyoung raises his hand and licks the sticky substance off, all the while eyeing him the whole time. Jihoon’s mind falls into static, but his eyes can barely focus on what his alpha is doing. More slick gushes out of him at the sight. He doesn’t even process that he’s actually saying something, words that sound numb to his own ears at this point. 

“Come back, baby, come to me. Shhh...” Soonyoung hushes, coating his fingers into the pool of slick below them. “What do you want me to do? Tell me, Hoonie."

“I wanna...” Jihoon mutters, unable to comprehend anything as his head rolls back. “I wan’...wan’s you to...to — huh — didn’t...didn’t I tell you ‘ready?"

He’s using his Busan satoori, a tone he uses usually on missions when he wants to get his point across. It just seems like his alpha can bring that side out of him, unintentional or not. By the knowing smile on Soonyoung’s face though, he definitely knows the affect he has on him.

“You did,” his alpha confirms, leaning forward to nudge his nose against Jihoon’s jaw, “but I want to hear you say it again. Your satoori is a real turn-on, Hoonie."

Jihoon curses at him, only proving Soonyoung’s point further. “Damn you alphas and your...fucken' dominant personas. Get outta here with your egos."

His alpha only grins and leans back, and although Jihoon should’ve expected it, he wants to cry. He shouldn’t have said what he said, as it only seemed to make Soonyoung back away and that’s not what he wants. The heat inside him is becoming painful again, once sated but now greedy for more. He wants to take what’s his, take, take, _take. _

“You don’t like?” Soonyoung tilts his head, almost tauntingly.

Jihoon tears up, shaking his head. “No,” he whines. “No, no, please, ‘m sorry. Soonyoung — tiger...tiger — please. Can you — please do something?"

His alpha hums but he doesn’t move from his spot between Jihoon’s legs. Instead, he places his hands on the omega’s thighs and squeezes lightly, thumbs pressing the insides of his thighs rather teasingly. Jihoon can feel the heat building in his stomach and behind his eyes.

“Then tell me, kitten,” Soonyoung asserts. “Tell me what you want."

Jihoon swallows harshly. He hates asking for things, whether it’s because he needs help or it’s because of this situation in general. He knows how much Soonyoung loves it when he confides in him, seeks for comfort and reassurance but now, that comfort and reassurance is for a different scenario altogether. He knows it’s his alpha’s way of searching for any sign of discomfort and if he doesn’t say something soon, Soonyoung will take it as a rejection and stop. That’s definitely not what he wants.

“I wan'...” he mutters, satoori disappearing gradually as every word he says becomes more unconfident than the one before. “I wan’ to — I want us tuh' — to bond. I want you in...want you inside me."

“Look at me, Hoonie,” Soonyoung reprimands, tapping Jihoon’s hip. “Look at me and tell me again."

Jihoon flushes to the roots of his hair but obeys. He can feel his body temperature rising when he meets Soonyoung’s gaze and it spikes another wave of heat over him. There’s no doubt his pheromones are wafting throughout the room but despite that, his alpha seems to have enough self-control to control the wolf inside him.

It’s not fair.

Jihoon feels another tap against his hip and when he blinks back into reality, Soonyoung is still staring down at him expectantly, waiting. He’d forgotten to reply.

“I want us to bond,” Jihoon says before his anxiety can creep up on him. “I want you to — to bond with me."

“Okay,” Soonyoung says gently, almost cooing as he dips his fingers in the puddle of slick once more. “Okay, we can bond. I’m going to prep you first, okay? I promise we’ll get to the good part later."

Jihoon’s gaze fixates on the way Soonyoung rubs his fingers together before spreading them apart, watching his slick separate slowly until it drips down his fingers. Soonyoung turns back to him, supporting his weight with one arm and lowering his hand between them. That’s when the omega lets his legs fall open, pliant and willing and  _exposed._

Jihoon sees the way Soonyoung’s breath stutters at the movement, and he knows his gaze is trained on what’s below, but he can’t close his legs now, not when Soonyoung’s holding them apart, wide and open. Jihoon wants to hide his face again, but before he can, Soonyoung prods a finger into his entrance, testing.

”Shit,” Jihoon swears at the feeling of his slick, hips jerking involuntarily. 

Soonyoung’s eyes darken significantly as he pushes in. Jihoon squirms, mouth dropping open as his alpha keeps going, until his entire finger is in him. It’s a familiar feeling to Jihoon, considering his alpha has been prepping him during his pre-heat, but the fact that this isn’t his pre-heat and it’s his actual heat and they’re going to bond soon changes everything. He takes the chance to adjust himself, then reaches down and squeezes Soonyoung’s arm, eyes telling him to start moving. 

His alpha crooks a finger experimentally, and when Jihoon spasms at the feeling, breathy moans escaping his lips, he retracts his finger before pushing in again. 

The omega lets out a high-pitched whimper as Soonyoung’s pace gradually begins to speed up. Slick gushes out of him with every push and pull and his alpha’s knuckle is constantly rubbing against his prostate, emitting sparks of pleasure that pools in his groin. 

He doesn’t have time to prepare when Soonyoung adds a second finger without warning, stretching him even more and increasing the pleasure. His moans gradually begin to get louder, and when Soonyoung adds the third finger, that’s when he starts to feel the burn.

”Soon — Soonyoungie...” he whines, another mewl slipping past his lips when his alpha wraps a slicked hand around his cock and begins to stroke. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Soonyoung soothes. “I’ll take good care of you, don’t worry.”

Jihoon believes him, and when Soonyoung adds the fourth finger, the burning intensifies, mixed weirdly with the growing pleasure as Soonyoung continues to stroke his cock. He’s whimpering, he realizes when he tries clearing his cloudy mind. He doesn’t know why, but even though the pain has yet to dissipate, he thrusts back against Soonyoung’s fingers, trying to get the most of what he can before his alpha stops.

Soonyoung does stop after a while, pulling his slick-ridden fingers out, and the heat in Jihoon’s stomach immediately begins to intensify. It isn’t burning this time, but it’s hurting. 

Before he can stop himself, Jihoon chokes out, “Empty...so empty...”

Soonyoung stutters on his breath, body curving into a weak bow, forehead resting against Jihoon’s collarbone. He stays like that for a moment, shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath he takes. Jihoon fears he’s said something wrong when Soonyoung raises his head and pierces him with his tiger gaze once again.

”You don’t like feeling empty, baby?” 

Jihoon lets out a whine at that, shaking his head as he tries to rut up against Soonyoung’s still-clothed length. “Don’t like...Please, please...Soonie, need you — inside me.”

”You’re a fucking tease, you know?” Soonyoung breathes, caging Jihoon between his arms and lowering his hips. “You’re absolutely sure? If you’re feeling uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

Jihoon nods, reaching down and toying with the waistband of Soonyoung’s boxers. “I’m sure. I’ll tell you, I promise.” 

Soonyoung lowers his head, mouth kissing the previous marks he’d made earlier. He keeps going, down to Jihoon’s chest and up to his collarbone, suckling lightly and leaving wet marks on the omega. When he raises his head again, seemingly having gotten himself together, he stares at Jihoon again.

”Ready?” he asks.

”Yeah,” Jihoon breathes. “Ready."

Canting his hips towards his omega, Soonyoung sighs out softly when Jihoon hems his waistband, barely grazing his skin. His touch leaves goosebumps on his arms, tingling and making him shudder slightly.

Jihoon takes in a silent deep breath as he tries to mentally and physically prepare himself for what he’s about to see. Gingerly, he lowers the hem of Soonyoung’s waistband inch by inch, until the pink leaking head of his alpha’s cock is shown. He swallows hard at the sight. It’s bigger than he thought and he’s starting to think all their preparation would go to waste just like that.

Soonyoung coos at him gently, his hand rubbing up and down Jihoon’s thigh in a reassuring manner, like he’s saying  _you’ll be okay, trust me. _

Jihoon continues down, unconsciously holding his breath as he lowers the thin piece of cloth more, until the whole of Soonyoung’s length is revealed. His alpha sighs in relief at the feeling of being released, though Jihoon is anything _but_ relieved. If anything, he shouldn’t have complained so much about Soonyoung prepping him for the past few weeks because _what the ever-loving fuck._

Jihoon releases his breath with a slight whistle, cheeks dusted red as his eyes take in everything. His alpha had warned him they should be careful, that their prepping sessions during his pre-heats would definitely help him feel comfortable for this moment, that it shouldn’t be rushed or hasty. Soonyoung had informed him, rather bashfully, that he wasn’t exactly small and Jihoon had stupidly dismissed it. The only thought in his mind then was he needed something inside him and his pre-heat had made him antsy and impatient.

He regrets not listening to Soonyoung because _holy fuck, he’s a monster._

“Baby,” Soonyoung murmurs, adjusting his position to remove the rest of his boxers off. “You okay? Do you wanna stop?"

Jihoon shakes his head slowly, eyes still trying to register that his alpha wasn’t _fucking_ lying when he said he definitely wasn’t small. “No, I’m — “ His voice cracks. “I’m fine, just — fuck, hold on. Give me...like, a minute. Fuck, what the fuck, Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung’s cock bobs forward slowly, head dripping with pre-come. Its once pink hue had somehow turned red, emphasizing the veins running up and down along his length. Overall, it looks more fucking intimidating than the man attached to it and Jihoon can already feel his lower back aching just by looking at its appearance. Sure, Soonyoung’s prepped him with toys, all big and thick but somehow, this feels different. Jihoon feels like he’s going to split in half.

Soonyoung tilts his head, looking like a lost hamster. “What did I do?"

Jihoon glances at him, at his confused expression and it’s so contradicting to his physical appearance, he can’t help but let out a breathy laugh, head falling back on the pillow as he covers his eyes. He feels Soonyoung rub his thigh again, obviously wanting an answer.

“Fuck, when you said you weren’t exactly small,” he starts, a little shyly as he peeks at Soonyoung through his fingers, “I didn’t think...I didn’t think you were  this big. What the hell, Kwon Soonyoung. God, I regret not taking our time during prep. Fuck, I’m fucking screwed — literally."

Soonyoung’s lips curl up. “Well,” he says casually, fingers scooping some of the slick. “I did warn you, Hoonie, but I don’t think you believed me."

“I know,” Jihoon groans, covering his face again. “How naive of me."

At that, he feels gentle hands take his wrists away and when he looks up, Soonyoung is staring at him patiently, a soft look in his eyes. It makes his heart inflate, how his alpha has always been adamant with consent before every big step. He’s so careful and as much as Jihoon wants to be annoyed, he can’t bring himself to, not when Soonyoung prioritizes him above everything else. 

His alpha puts him on some sort of pedestal, a throne he’s undeserving of and though he keeps doing it, Jihoon doesn’t have the heart to stop him. Like earlier, he’s greedy and selfish and everything Soonyoung shouldn’t want, but if he’s what his alpha wants, he’s more than willing to give the entirety of himself to him.

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung says soothingly. “We can take it slow."

Jihoon nods, mouth opening to agree when a sharp pain attacks his abdomen, instantly shutting him up. He exhales harshly, muscles tensing as the heat begins to burn his insides, unforgiving and relentless. Throughout the preparation process, he’d somehow forgotten his heat was still present. Soonyoung isn’t oblivious to the way his face turns into an expression of discomfort.

“Here, I’ll take some of the...” Soonyoung trails off, hand stroking languidly up and down his cock, “...some of the edge off for now — _fucking hell_ _."_

It takes Jihoon only a second to realize what his alpha had done, coating himself with his slick as a lubricant, marking himself with his slick. His eyes fog over, mouth opening with a quiet gasp as his own scent becomes more prominent. The room reeks of his fluids, of him, and his cock twitches.

Soonyoung doesn’t seem to be complaining, with his head tilted to the side and mouth open with soft pants of arousal. His eyes are hooded as he stares down at the omega, pupils blown wide with desire. He _knows_ what he’s doing and that’s enough to make Jihoon whine, hips bucking up slightly as the heat in his stomach intensifies again.

His alpha is all over him in an instant, seemingly panting harder as he lowers his own hips. Jihoon scrambles on him for leverage, gasping when he feels the ridges of Soonyoung’s cock against his own as his alpha takes the both of them in his hand. He stills for a moment and Jihoon can tell he’s trying to get himself together. He isn’t any better so he waits patiently, the heat in his abdomen spiking up again.

After a few seconds, he becomes impatient, bucking his hips up. His eyes roll to the back of his head at the friction and he moans out, nails digging crescents into Soonyoung’s back. He hears Soonyoung let out a surprised grunt and he can feel his muscles trembling, whether from pleasure or exertion, Jihoon doesn’t know. 

“Move,” he sighs out. “Please."

Soonyoung obeys, of course, was never a strong man to deny him. He moves his hips slowly, giving Jihoon time to appreciate the feeling of their bare skin touching. He can feel the way the head of Soonyoung’s cock drags across his length, spreading pre-come on him. His alpha’s musky scent overwhelms his senses and he realizes that Soonyoung is subtly marking him in that strange alpha way he’d never know of.

He shudders at the thought, breathy sighs releasing from his throat, and when Soonyoung unintentionally catches against Jihoon’s rim, the omega whines again, high and needy. He can feel himself throb, hot and heavy against his hip as his alpha curses under his breath, seemingly struggling to control the last bit of restraint he has.

“Please, please, Soons,” Jihoon begs. “Please, can you — Soonie. I can’t — I need — I need you now, please, tiger."

“Okay,” Soonyoung breathes, pulling back. “Okay, okay, roger that, yes, sir. I’m here, baby. I’m here, I’ll take care of you. Fuck, you look so beautiful."

Jihoon almost cries at the loss of contact, but when he sees his alpha lathering more slick on his cock, he becomes desperate. Heat spreads through him, both from his heat and the anticipation of what’s the come. He unconsciously clenches around nothing, tensing up. His legs tremble against the bed as Soonyoung slicks himself up a few more times, eyes unfocused and pupils blown with arousal.

It takes just a few more seconds until his alpha is finally, finally positioning himself. The urge to cry comes back for reasons unknown, but Jihoon tries not to focus on that too much.

“Ready?” Soonyoung asks him, and it takes all of Jihoon’s self-control to not deck his alpha in the face.

Instead, he nods eagerly, wincing when the sharp pain comes back to bite him. “I’ve been ready."

Soonyoung gives him one last warning look before _finally_ pushing in, inch by inch. Jihoon tries not to let the discomfort show on his face as his alpha continues to bottom out. His mouth drops when he feels how wide he’s being stretched out, and there’s a slight burning sensation where he and Soonyoung connect. He doesn’t necessarily feel split open but instead, he feels like he’s taking in two cocks at once. It’s unusual, but definitely welcomed.

Soonyoung continues to push in, then stops, his tiger gaze concentrated on where they’re connected. Jihoon can feel his alpha throbbing inside him, subtle but still noticeable, and his own cock twitches at the feeling. He can feel Soonyoung clearly now, from the head to the veins and everything else down to where they link together.

Jihoon relaxes slowly, the discomfort begins to fade and he realizes that _shit, this is really happening._ The thought of finally being able to connect with his alpha without the flimsy piece of rubber is enough to make his mind hazy with desire. He unconsciously clenches his muscles again, taking in every inch he can as he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Ji — Jihoonie,” Soonyoung gasps, arms trembling. “Wait — Wait, Hoonie. I’m not even — Give — _huh_ — Give me a second. _Shit."_

Jihoon waits patiently, knows he’s not any better than Soonyoung if his weeping cock is anything to go by. Instead, he cradles his alpha’s head to his chest, needing his own support. He savors the feeling of Soonyoung’s cock pulsing inside him, and when he can’t help but clench around him again, Soonyoung’s arms collapse, a choked groan erupting from his throat. The movement causes Soonyoung’s hips to rock into his, and a gasp escapes him at the burst of sensations. It takes him half a second to realize his alpha isn’t _all_ the way in.

“There’s more?!” Jihoon practically screeches, whacking Soonyoung’s shoulder repeatedly. “Soonyoung!"

Soonyoung huffs, reaching up unsteadily to pin Jihoon’s arms down. “There’s, like, two inches left, calm down. I can’t — You’re, like, tighter the deeper I go."

Jihoon groans, head falling back against the pillow, half embarrassed by what Soonyoung said and half nervous because holy shit, he can barely handle the length inside him now, how is he supposed to fit two whole inches more?

“You might as well have fucked me with a ruler ‘cause that’s what you feel like now,” he grumbles, sighing out when Soonyoung begins to push in again.

“Are you telling me,” Soonyoung grunts, “that you’ve fucked yourself with a ruler? Wouldn’t that hurt? But thanks for subtly telling me that my dick is longer than you expected, I guess. I’m flattered. Real ego boost."

Jihoon sucks in a breath when his alpha finally presses in, balls deep. He would slap Soonyoung for his comment but he can’t exactly do that when his wrists are still pinned down and although he works out consistently, his strength is still no match to that of Soonyoung’s.

“Shut up,” he says instead, but his attempt to be stern falters when he feels Soonyoung grind against him slowly. “Trust me, you don’t need an ego boost. I wasn’t even complimenting you."

“Sure, Hoonie,” Soonyoung snorts, but stays quiet afterwards, releasing his hold on Jihoon’s wrists.

Jihoon feels him lower his head back down to his collarbone, kissing his skin lovingly. Raising his arms, he wraps them around Soonyoung’s neck and exhales slowly. The pain from his heat subsides drastically but it’s still there, not enough to hurt but enough to make him feel uncomfortable, skin crawling and itching in places he can’t reach.

After a few more seconds of comfortable silence, he feels Soonyoung’s arms tremble as he raises himself up, caging his body between his arms. Their eyes connect, and he feels a shudder go down his spine at how dark Soonyoung’s eyes look, pupils completely dilated with a haze. Jihoon finds his gaze falling on his alpha’s slicks lips, and he unconsciously wets his own.

“I’m going to start moving,” his alpha warns. “Pinch my arm if you need me to stop."

Jihoon wraps his legs securely around Soonyoung’s hips, arms still on the alpha’s shoulders. “Okay."

He tucks his face into the crook of Soonyoung’s neck, a soft hiss rolling off his tongue when his alpha pulls out slightly, just enough to thrust back in. He can feel slick gushing out of him, the way Soonyoung’s muscles contract and flex, the way his cock drags deliciously against his walls, constantly pressing up against his prostate.

“Hoonie,” Soonyoung grunts, nuzzling into Jihoon’s scent gland. “Don’t be shy, baby. I need to — I need to know if I’m hurting you or not. What’s good?"

“Not hurt — Not hurting,” Jihoon slurs, throwing his head back against the pillow when his alpha sucks lightly on his gland. “Feels suh’ good, Soonie. There. There — so — _huh_ — so, so good."

He feels Soonyoung inhale sharply against his neck, and maybe it’s due to his Busan satoori making its presence again, or maybe it’s the fact that he keeps subconsciously clenching around him but either way, he could care less. He can feel the ridges of Soonyoung’s cock sliding in and out of him, rubbing against his prostate constantly, sending any doubts he had before out and away from his mind. At this point, he can feel himself drifting away, vision clouding over with  Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.

“Jihoonie,” Soonyoung pants, thrusts slow and powerful. “Let me hear you say — say it again. ’Is good, yeah?"

Jihoon, though past the point of self-control, makes a mental note and stores Soonyoung’s praise kink in the back of his mind for future references. “Ah, yeah. So good, Soonie. Feels — hmm — feel so full."

He hears a cuss escape from Soonyoung and just that tiny _fucking hell_ is enough to make him shiver violently, muscles clenching again. A low whine slips from his alpha and Jihoon lets himself sing his own notes, soft and broken and crying out in pleasure.

Soonyoung loves being praised, Jihoon knows that. He knows Soonyoung loves attention, loves being the center of it. He loves being complimented, especially if it’s by him. However, tonight ― _tonight,_ Jihoon can sense that Soonyoung wants to make this night about him. He can feel it in the way Soonyoung presses small wet kisses against his face, how Soonyoung holds him to his body as tight as possible, as if he needs to be protected. He can feel it in the way Soonyoung’s thrusts are consistent, constantly pleasuring him without caring for himself.

Soonyoung loves him so much, Jihoon’s heart aches. The heat that had gathered behind his eyes earlier spills out, and before he knows it, he’s crying silently, broken moans leaving his lips as his grip tightens significantly on his alpha.

He trembles as Soonyoung whispers words of reassurances to him, whispers _I love you_ in his ear like it’s the only thing he can say. Jihoon knows he’s saying it back, but he can’t understand a word he’s saying himself. He feels like he can drift away. He’s babbling, he knows that, barely coherent declarations of love betraying what he truly wants to say.

“Luh’ you,” he keeps slurring, pressing kisses along the column of Soonyoung’s neck. “Luh’v you so much. I luh’v you, Soonie. Luh’ you, luh’ you, luh’ you. You’re suh’ good ― good to me. Love you."

And Soonyoung laughs, breathlessly. He adjusts his angle, hitches one of Jihoon’s legs over his shoulder, and hastily starts thrusting in and out. He murmurs his own love confessions that Jihoon can barely hear against the sound of his own moaning, but he understands because it’s Soonyoung and Soonyoung loves him just as much as he loves him.

Jihoon sees stars, the familiar hues of blues, purples, pinks and reds slowly coming back. He can feel the knot unraveling in his stomach, building up and burning fire as Soonyoung’s thrusts start to become messy and uncoordinated. He’s so close, so close to releasing, to letting himself become truly vulnerable. He doesn’t do anything to stop the sudden stream of his tears, knows Soonyoung deserves to see him weak and emotional, deserves to know how good of an alpha he is.

“Soonyoungie...” Jihoon whimpers, crying out around a moan. He desperately tries to cling to his alpha, but his limbs are rapidly becoming pliant with each thrust Soonyoung makes. He tenses with each burst of pleasure, body jerking with the force of each rocking motion, and Soonyoung groans at the sudden tightness.

“Relax, baby,” he grunts. “God, I’m so — I’m so close...getting closer.” He uses his hand to lift Jihoon’s hips up, groaning when the change in angle allows him to slide deeper. The omega thrashes in his hold, crying out when Soonyoung’s thrusts becomes rapid at a quick pace.

“Please, please...” Jihoon whines high in his throat, allowing himself to become pliant. “C-Close. Soonie..."

Soonyoung groans again, leaning down to nuzzle his face against his omega’s neck. He attaches his mouth on the supple skin, licking and sucking to prepare for the next step. Jihoon tilts his head and bares his neck more, little mewls escaping his throat when Soonyoung grazes his teeth along the base of his neck, testing the tenderness of his skin. 

“Gonna — Gonna make you mine,” Soonyoung pants, pressing butterfly kisses on his omega’s neck before pulling away. “Gonna knot you...mark you as mine."

Jihoon whimpers loudly, hands scrambling for purchase against his alpha’s shoulders to pull him down and latch his mouth on his neck. He sucks and nips at the spot, soothing the stinging with kitten licks and gent le kisses. Soonyoung thrusts once, twice, and Jihoon can feel his knot expanding inside of him slowly, pressing right up against his prostate. He bites down on the alpha’s neck, letting out a high-pitched moan as he clenches around Soonyoung and comes, his cock spurting hot white against his stomach.

Soonyoung lets out a low growl, hips speeding up in their movement as his knot inflates, connecting them as one. It’s not long before he feels his stomach clench, and he leans down again before it’s too late, sinking his teeth into Jihoon’s skin, effectively marking him as he comes.

“Fuck...” Jihoon gasps out as Soonyoung presses deep inside him.

The alpha pants as he collapses on top of the younger man, turning their bodies sideways so they’re facing each other. He feels his lips curl up in an affectionate smile when he sees how flushed his omega’s face looks, pink and pretty and lovely and wet with tears and all his. His chest is heaving, soft pants slipping past his lips.

Craning his arm, Soonyoung hugs Jihoon’s head to his chest delicately. “Here, lean on me. You look exhausted."

“Probably not as much as you,” responds Jihoon, tilting his head to see him. “You did all the work."

Grinning, Soonyoung breathlessly asks, “How was that for our first?” He reaches up and gently caresses Jihoon’s cheek. His heart swells when the younger man leans into his hand, eyes fluttering shut.

“Pretty fucking amazing,” Jihoon responds, opening his eyes and smiling weakly. He covers Soonyoung’s hand with his. “God, I knew you wanted to take it slow, but then you were going at such a fast pace and the next thing I knew...I can’t believe we finally..."

“Bonded?” Soonyoung asks cheekily, gently knocking their foreheads together as he thumbs his omega’s neck gingerly. “We planned this a month ago."

“I know.” Jihoon’s smile widens. “It just — feels so surreal now that it happened. Fuck, Seungcheol’s gonna be so pissed at us if he finds out."

“Let him.” Soonyoung matches Jihoon’s smile. “It’s our decision in the end and we’re both happy. Whatever consequence we’re going to face, we’ll face it together. Y’know...we tend to do our own thing at this point instead of listening to Cheol anyway. I don’t fear him anymore. I think I got that from you."

“I guess we’ve influenced each other too much,” Jihoon laughs. “It’s become a habit now, thanks for that. Can’t change up now.” He reaches up and plants a kiss on Soonyoung’s lips.

He curls underneath his alpha’s chin, sighing contently when he feels arms cocoon him in a warm embrace. “It’s too dangerous to tell him anyway when he’s also in the business. This makes me wonder what our life would be like if we weren’t in the mafia — y’know, hunting down bad guys — what kind of future we have. If I hadn’t signed up to be here. I don’t know what I’d be doing without you."

“We’d definitely be married by now,” Soonyoung says playfully. “Okay, maybe not married, but...maybe, maybe not hypothetically speaking, if a miracle happened...if I were to propose...in this life or our next life, our second life...I’ve been thinking about you and our future too, y’know."

Jihoon snorts, but his words come back at him full force. His eyes widen and he leans back, looking up at his alpha, who’s smiling shyly at him. “What? Wait, back it up. You’re — "

Soonyoung shrugs the best he can while lying down. “I mean, I may or may not be. Y’know...we can live the life we've always wanted. Don’t think I’ve been ignoring all those hints you’ve been trying to give me, Jihoonie. It’s not everyday you stop in front of the window at the ring shop and tell me how pretty a ring looks 24/7. Even after we left the shop too."

Jihoon laughs, a little flustered being caught red-handed. “Okay, you caught me,” he confesses, grinning at Soonyoung’s smug look. “Are you serious though? You really want to get married?"

“Of course, I’m serious,” Soonyoung says, looking almost offended. “Maybe once our contract ends...we’ll get married, move in together, have kids. Instead of pretending, maybe we’ll both get our dream jobs, you as a producer and me as a choreographer. I know how much you missed composing. We can go see the world without worrying about whether we’re being followed. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care. We can get the happy ending we’ve dreamed of."

“You’re saying this right when we’ve bonded?” Jihoon asks rhetorically, hiding his smile in Soonyoung’s chest. “God, I adore you."

“I’m crazy in love with you too,” Soonyoung replies enamoringly, carding his hand through the omega’s hair. “You better say yes when I propose."

Jihoon laughs, wet and watery. “You have to promise me,” he says, voice wavering slightly as he pulls away again. He crosses his middle finger over his pointer and sticks his thumb out, forming half a heart. “Promise me, okay? It better not be a grand wedding, Kwon Soonyoung, I want it simple."

“I promise,” Soonyoung replies with his cheeky eye-smile, raising his own hand to complete the heart. “No matter what, I promise. Promise, promise, promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’d seen my 31 Days of Domestic Soonhoon, you’ll notice I did copy down some of the paragraphs because honestly? I’m just that bad at writing smut, oops.
> 
> So how many song references did you catch? Lmk, haha, I lost count after 8, hueheuhuehe
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019 and AAA!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “I’m kinda in a tight situation now,” he explains, stepping over some broken wood. “I’ll talk to you later — "
> 
> “Hey!” is all Soonyoung hears before the sound of a gun goes off, just above his head.
> 
> “Fucken' hell,” the alpha curses, barrel-rolling inside quickly. He switches his motion tracker for his hand gun and cocks it, making sure the safety is off. 
> 
> “I heard that,” Chan says. “I’m coming over — Oh, shit."


	8. Adversity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adversity  
/ədˈvərsədē/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. difficulties; misfortune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry, I was supposed to update this on Saturday but I came down with a fever. I’m doing a lot better now so double update this week :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
> 
> I also decided to do this surprise update because FREAKING SEVENTEEN GOT THEIR FIRST DAESANG AWARD, AHHHHHH, I’M SO PROUD OF THEM, MY BABIES (Plus the two daesangs they won in China.) Words can’t express how happy I was when I watched the live. We did it, Carats, we got the boys what they fully deserve! I can’t imagine how the boys are feeling right now, especially Cheol. Four years into their career and they received their first daesang. I’m so overjoyed.
> 
> Let’s use this award to motivate ourselves to vote for them on MAMA! We’re so close to second place for Best Dance Performance Male Group and almost third place for Song of the Year! We can do it!
> 
> Be LOUD about our achievements, Carats! I haven’t seen anyone hyping up our daesang and it isn’t trending on Naver. Let’s continue to make our boys proud!
> 
> Don’t ever forget this day: November 26, 2019 marks their 1st daesang.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS **

**JULY 18, 2019 **

**Location:** Gapyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Mugan-ri

The group arrives in Mugan by the time the sun is setting, which will make the mission a lot more difficult thanks to less light. For the most part, the trip is peaceful and casual, like they aren’t on a mission. Soonyoung has to remind himself that he can let himself go, even if it’s just for a little while. He’s always had a hard time relaxing during missions but it’s understandable; there’s always a chance someone is watching him and he wouldn’t know. 

Feeling drained with his muscles tensing uncomfortably, he looks around the bus, hoping for a reason to relax.

Jeonghan and Joshua are sitting together in the front behind Seungcheol, seemingly engaging in a light conversation. If their smiles and little chuckles are anything to go by, they probably aren’t talking about the mission. Being so busy with his own team and committing to his schedule, Soonyoung almost forgets that the three have bonded. None of them have mentioned it but the leader can tell just by the way they look at each other, how their smiles grow bigger and how their eyes light up, that they share a special connection, something he used to have.

Glancing towards the back, Junhui and Minghao are bickering like they always do. When Soonyoung hears snippets of what they’re saying, he doesn’t bother trying to understand because they’re talking in their mother tongue. He’s used to it, has heard them talk in Chinese every so often that he can probably make out a few words. He’s heard them argue in Mandarin when they’re in the simulation room, which is fifty percent Minghao scolding Junhui and fifty percent Junhui making jokes. 

They’re cute together, Soonyoung thinks, even if he can’t say the same for himself.

In front of the Chinese duo, Seungkwan and Hansol are also bickering. However, as usual, it’s Seungkwan talking and Hansol going along with whatever he’s saying. The two of them seem like complete polar opposites at first sight. Seungkwan is — no doubt — one of the loudest in the group, and Hansol — quiet and polite Hansol — is the exact opposite. However, the more Soonyoung had gotten to know the both of them, the more he saw how well the two compliments each other. Hansol is Seungkwan’s anchor, and Seungkwan is Hansol’s light, and Soonyoung might be just a tad bit jealous.

Shifting his gaze to the two seats across from him, Wonwoo and Mingyu are sitting quietly. It seems as though none of them have made a move to talk to each other and Soonyoung finds their interactions painfully awkward to watch. It’s not like the two aren’t friends, but let’s just say they’re a duo that harbors secret feelings for the other. They’re polar opposites, but unlike Seungkwan and Hansol, Soonyoung has yet to see how their personalities compliment each other.

Whenever Mingyu tries to talk to Wonwoo or initiate some sort of conversation, Wonwoo returns his efforts with curt answers and small gestures. It’s not to say the older man doesn’t like Mingyu. In fact, Soonyoung has been on the short end of the stick countless times hearing his best friend rant about how handsome Mingyu is. It’s just Wonwoo doesn’t associate himself with people unlike him but hopefully, he’ll come around soon.

In front of him, Seokmin and Chan are playing some sort of game on the younger’s phone. The two have been the loudest yet, crying out in defeat or in the name of _cheater!_ when their character dies. Soonyoung doesn’t know how the two became close friends but he’s glad Chan isn’t feeling lonely despite the age range. Soonyoung has always had a bit of trouble trying to relate to the youngest of the bunch, to make sure he’s comfortable within his surroundings but now that they’ve been confirmed for this mission, he’s glad to see he’s not the only one trying. It’s comforting to know Chan has support, more than he can give.

Soonyoung sighs as he counts the heads and he frowns when he realizes someone is missing. He recounts to make sure his mind isn’t playing tricks and his frown deepens when — indeed, someone is missing. 

_Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Junhui, me, Wonwoo, Jihoon — oh._ He scans the bus again and he purses his lips when he peeks over his seat and — _yup, there he is. _

Behind him, Jihoon is lying down across the two seats, legs hanging limply in the open aisle. His arms are crossed over his chest in a way that makes it seem like he’s protecting himself and there’s a slight pout on his lips as he sleeps. It’s the only time throughout the past few days where Soonyoung can really get a good look at him and he...doesn’t know how to feel. There’s the barest of dark circles under the omega’s eyes, like he hasn’t been sleeping well and there’s an uncomfortable expression on his face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and nose twitching. Overall, he just looks tired so Soonyoung decides to leave him alone.

The alpha sits back in his seat, looking out the window. The roads are empty now, which most likely means they’re getting closer to their location. It had been a long drive and he’s dying to stretch his legs out. He can’t exactly try to stand now because he knows Seungcheol is prepared with a lecture and fifty reasons why he shouldn’t stand up in the middle of a road trip. 

“Alright, guys,” Seungcheol calls from the front, ceasing all conversation, “I can see Mugan from here. I’m gonna have to park a little ways away 'cause the place is a small town and it’s been abandoned for years so we don’t know if there’s the gang on the lookout. Since it’s so small, I think it’s best if two people scout.” He eyes Soonyoung in the mirror at the last part.

Soonyoung purses his lips and glances around at his team. Junhui and Minghao are staring back at him with equal determination, but the alpha thinks it’s time to switch it up. Seungcheol stops the bus a good mile away from the actual place, hidden behind some trees and a large bush. He glances back at Soonyoung and raises an eyebrow.

Soonyoung stands up and places a hand on Chan’s shoulder, taking note of the younger alpha’s shocked look as he says, “Come on, Channie. You’re with me on this one."

Chan flails for a bit, obviously a little overwhelmed but he stands up abruptly and nods affirmatively at Soonyoung.

“I won’t let you down, hyung,” he promises. “I’ll make you proud."

Soonyoung’s lips curl up. He opens the compartment and grabs the same hand gun he brought with him sneaking around Hopyeong. It’s already loaded so he puts it in his holster, then slips on a pair of gloves. When he reaches for Chan’s daggers, he pauses, then grabs another hand gun and loads it with ammunition. He doesn’t know why but he has a feeling Chan’s training might be of use. 

“I have a feeling you’ll need this,” Soonyoung says, handing Chan the hand gun along with his twin daggers and a pair of gloves. “If it comes down to it, don’t hesitate to use the gun. Let’s not mess up, yeah?” He’s referring to the gunshot-to-the-shoulder incident.

“I’ll do better this time,” Chan says determinedly as he takes the weapons without question, slipping the gloves on.

“There’s no cameras in any of the buildings,” Joshua speaks up, shaking his head. His laptop is open but it shows a white screen that occasionally glitches. “Or if there are, they’re all broken. That means we can’t help you if you somehow get hurt in there, so you’re on your own."

“You’ll be able to talk to each other with the earpieces,” Jeonghan continues, tossing each of them an earpiece. “Use it to your advantage."

“Damn,” Soonyoung mutters under his breath as he once again, struggles to put the earpiece on. Fortunately, Jeonghan spots his dilemma and helps the alpha hook it in his ear securely.

“You’re doing everything you can to fail this mission, aren’t you?” he asks, but the smile on his face tells Soonyoung he’s being sarcastic.

“I’ll find some way,” Soonyoung shrugs, nodding his thanks.

“Before you go,” Seungkwan adds, standing up from his seat to reach for the apartment across from him. He opens it and pulls out two devices, handing them to each alpha. It looks like Nokia phones. “These are motion trackers. When you turn them on, there’s a green dot on the bottom. That’s you. If there are other green dots within your area, a.k.a. the gang, you’ll see it pop up on the screen."

“Sweet,” Chan says with awe, turning the tracker on. Sure enough, there’s green dots on his screen, showcasing the group. “Thanks, hyung."

“If that’s all,” Soonyoung hums, pocketing the motion tracker. He turns to Chan. “All set and ready?"

“All set and ready,” the young alpha repeats.

There’s a look of fire in his eyes; strong determination and passion that Soonyoung can feel all the same. He remembers his first mission, how it was like to finally be trusted along the front lines. Looking at Chan now, he can see himself in the same position and returns the fierce look.

“If you do need help,” Seungcheol says, interrupting his vision, “Fire your gun three times straight and I’ll send my team to get you."

“Got it,” Soonyoung nods as he heads towards the door, Chan close behind him. 

“Good luck,” Seungcheol hums, pressing the button to open the door.

Off they go.

—

**TRENCH**

** JULY 18, 2019  **

**Location:** Gapyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Mugan-ri

Soonyoung peeks out and scans the small neighborhood in front of him. He and Chan are crouching down in a trench and across the street is the place they’re supposed to scout. They’ve jogged half a mile to the area which is shorter than he initially thought. The place looks abandoned from the outside, but Soonyoung can barely hear the sound of metal clanging in one of the further houses. 

“Okay, Dino,” Soonyoung murmurs, glancing at his companion, “You’ll scout the buildings on the left. I’ll scout the buildings on the other side. Remember what S.Coups-hyung said; fire three times straight if you need help, got it?"

“Got it, hyung,” Chan nods determinedly.

Soonyoung nods back before turning his head towards the road. He hoists himself up from the trench and begins crouch-running across the street, with Chan hot on his heels. His adrenaline pumps as he ducks down behind a large shrub. Chan splits away from him quickly and runs across the dirt road to the first building, which seems to be an abandoned shack that looks like it’s about to fall apart any minute.

Soonyoung pops his head out from the shrub and discretely scans the area. The streets are wide and deserted, which means there’s a good chance he’d be spotted if he decides to book it.

A few meters in front of the shrub he’s hiding behind is what seems like a small white abandoned store. Scanning the area again, he quickly runs around the back of the building and realizes his mistake when there’s another wide and deserted dirt road behind it, a wide open field across from him. A few yards ahead is another old shack but there’s a front of a white pickup truck that makes him feel a little uneasy as he nears the area.

The alpha crouch-runs a little before he reaches an intersection, right where a little church is and just a few shacks away from the pickup truck. The metal clanging from earlier is getting louder the closer he gets and he can faintly make out gruff voices in the distance. Fortunately, there’s not much buildings on his side and Chan probably doesn’t have to deal with any people coming his way.

Soonyoung dashes inside the building across from him, freezing when the floorboards creak beneath his feet. His heart shoots up into his throat as he listens for any sign that anyone has heard him. He can feel beads of sweat form on his hairline as he takes his motion tracker out and begins to slowly walk around the small room, mindful of the creaky floorboards. He takes a deep breath and tightens his grip on the tracker. He was never good with technology.

There’s a table flipped over on the side and metal scraps here and there. The walls are peeling and there’s graffiti written everywhere. There’s a red rusted barrel covered in grime and dirt but the liquid pooled around it tells Soonyoung it’s gasoline, most likely to start another fire.

He walks into a smaller room in the back, carefully stepping over some fallen pieces of wood. The back area is empty but there’s a broken door that’s cracked open a bit, the handle missing. Soonyoung attempts to push it open, but the door doesn’t budge. He steps back, readies his shoulder and charges forward, effectively swinging the door open and making it crash against the building.

_They definitely heard that,_ Soonyoung mentally curses when he hears shouts of alarm in a building just a few meters away.

The alpha switches directions and instead of treading forward, he crouch-runs the other way and across the street, just behind the building with the pickup truck. He ducks behind the building and lets his body fall forward in an army crawl. The grass is tall enough to hide his body a few feet away, but definitely noticeable, especially since he’s wearing all black. He can feel his heartbeat spiking as the voices get closer. Pushing his body down further into the dirt, he stays absolutely still as he tries to make out what they’re saying.

“Hey! Any of our guys comin' 'ere?” man one yells to his groupies.

Through the grass as he peers from the corner of the building he’s hiding behind, he can see a man inspecting the opened door. Two more men follow his footsteps, hands ready to reach for their guns as they surround the door.

“Shouldn’t be any yet,” man two claims, peering inside the building. “Our boys from Hopyeong are comin' up soon so we can go to Dangu and set this shit-hole on fire."

“Maybe it was just the wind,” man three says casually. “It's been pretty breezy lately."

While they’re distracted, Soonyoung army-crawls towards the back of the pick-up truck. He looks underneath but there’s no feet or anything that indicates there’s any more men in the area. Glancing at his motion tracker, there’s three dots at the top left corner of his screen, unmoving.

He shifts his gaze to the building where they came from and realizes it’s empty. He glances at the tracker once more — the dots still unmoving — before crouch-running to the side of the pickup truck. If he’s lucky, he can make a break for the building without getting caught. However, the chances of that happening is slim to none.

“God, I can’t believe Seongjee ditched.” Soonyoung hears man two complains faintly. “Bastard is leavin' us to do all the work."

Man one chuckles. “Hwaseong won’t like that once he comes here."

Soonyoung carefully crouches his way into the building, keeping his eyes on the three men now hanging around the building he had slammed the door of. Fortunately, the door is wide open and he would have no trouble getting in. He’s just about to make it through when his earpiece buzzes.

“Hoshi-hyung,” Chan murmurs through the link. “I found a file, looks useful. How’s your end?"

Soonyoung almost jumps, heart racing again. The motion tracker in his hand almost slips out of his sweaty grasp and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing.

“I’m kinda in a tight situation now,” he explains, stepping over some broken wood. “I’ll talk to you later — "

“Hey!” is all Soonyoung hears before the sound of a gun goes off, just above his head.

“Fucken' hell,” the alpha curses, barrel-rolling inside quickly. He switches his motion tracker for his hand gun and cocks it, making sure the safety is off. 

“I heard that,” Chan says. “I’m coming over — Oh, shit."

“Dino,” Soonyoung demands. “What’s going on?"

“Some guys just pulled over in a white van,” Chan answers and Soonyoung can barely hear the sound of him running. “There’s five of them — Shit. Okay, yeah, looks like I’m gonna take longer than I thought."

“I’ll come to you,” Soonyoung insists, cursing when a bullet whizzes past his face. He rolls behind a turned table, ducking for cover. “Remember to focus and remember what S.Coups-hyung said."

“Got it,” Chan says affirmatively, before the line between them cuts off.

“We know you’re in there!” man one yells. “You have nowhere else to go! Surrender now!"

Soonyoung pops up from behind the table and shoots blindly in the direction the voices are coming from. He knows he’s hit someone when he hears a pained groan along with a shout of alarm, and he uses that distraction to start shooting again, switching his position into another room. However, he realizes his mistake when he notices there’s no doors or windows for him to escape to. 

“You’re trapped in there, fucker!” man three exclaims, and the voices sounds a lot closer.

Soonyoung has no choice but to aim towards the door and as soon as he sees one of the men walk through, he fires. The man he shot falls to the ground, clutching at the wound on his shoulder and Soonyoung doesn’t hesitate to fire again, aiming for his chest this time. As soon as he lies motionless by the door, Soonyoung makes a break for it. However, he’s suddenly swung backwards, an arm around his neck in a chokehold.

“You piece uh' shit,” the man spits angrily, “Think you can just come waltzing in here like a fucking — "

Soonyoung leans forward before whipping his head back, hearing a satisfying crack as the man’s nose breaks. There’s a cry of pain behind him as the alpha grabs the arm around his neck and spins around, twisting it painfully behind the enemy’s back. He brings his knee forward to make the man collapse and nudges the nozzle of his gun to the small of his back.

“I’m usually a nice guy,” Soonyoung says casually, keeping his grip firm on the man’s arm. “But you called me a piece of shit and I don’t take too kindly to that."

With that, Soonyoung fires his hand gun and lets the man fall forward limply, a pool of blood rapidly coloring the dirt red. He can’t waste any time looking at his work. His ears catch the sound of gunshots firing a few buildings away and he needs to remind himself that he’d chosen Chan, the youngest of the group, to search with him. He runs towards the direction of the gunshots, his adrenaline pumping at the thought of the younger alpha getting shot.

When he gets to the scene, Soonyoung can see two bodies on the ground bathing in their pool of blood. As much as he’d like to feel smug about his teaching skills, he has no time to feel prideful when he sees the younger in a chokehold, similar to what he’s been through just a few seconds ago. Quickly, Soonyoung raises his gun and aims for one of the two guys advancing towards the young alpha. However, the man holding Chan in a chokehold sees him and quickly raises his own gun and fires.

Soonyoung hisses when he feels a sudden searing pain in his arm, but he doesn’t look. He knows it’ll only get him distracted and the pain will intensify. Instead, he ducks behind a shed when the man fires again but Chan uses the opportunity to stab him in the neck with his dagger. Soonyoung doesn’t hesitate to fire at the other two men, watching them collapse in a heap of blood.

“Hoshi-hyung,” Chan gasps, running over to the older alpha and taking his arm. “You’re bleeding."

Soonyoung winces. “I’m fine, I’m fine. The bullet just seared me,” he reassures, batting his hand away and covering the wound. “Where’s the file?"

“In my jacket,” Chan answers, still glancing at Soonyoung’s arm worriedly. “Come on, we need to get you treated. Let’s go before more guys show up."

Soonyoung nods and they both sprint towards the trench they came out of, hopping down before crouch-running their way back to the midi-bus. The older alpha clutches his arm, trying not to let the discomfort show on his face when he feels his own blood seep through his fingers and although he’s wearing gloves, it’s warm and sticky and he knows he’s digging his own grave once they meet with the others.

Chan knocks on the door hurriedly once they reach the bus and when the door opens, he rushes in. However, before Soonyoung can even step up, Jihoon is standing in front in the doorway and he looks absolutely _pissed._

Soonyoung might as well start digging his grave now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seventeen world domination.
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> ”Don’t worry, Hoonie,” he says, squeezing Jihoon’s hand affectionately. “If eomma accepted you when I introduced you as my friend, she’ll accept you when I introduce you as my mate. She loved you then and she’ll love you now. Nothing’s gonna change, I promise.”
> 
> “And your step-father?”
> 
> Soonyoung feels a pang in his heart at the word step-father but tries to remain optimistic. “If he were back from Japan, he’d love you too.”


	9. Dissension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dissension  
/dəˈsen(t)SH(ə)n/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. disagreement that leads to discord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s come to my attention that I forgot to change the rating, oops.
> 
> For MAMA:  
Here’s the link to the website to vote!  
http://mama.mwave.me/en/main
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**APARTMENT 017**

**JANUARY 10, 2016**

**Location:** Namyangju, South Korea

**Subdivision: **Maseok-ro

“You can do this."

“I can do this. What time is it?"

“10:10."

“Is it really?"

“No, it’s 11:58. Are you ready?"

“I’m ready."

Just as Soonyoung goes to ring the doorbell, Jihoon tugs his arm with a whine. He tries to hide an amused smile, but ultimately fails when he turns to look at Jihoon, who's sulking. His heart swells with affection and despite having gone over this procedure multiple times, Jihoon’s adorable expression makes up for his running patience.

The night they had mated, he and Jihoon had discussed their relationship, from where they stand in the present to their future. They’ve talked about what they should do in terms of the next step, and both agreed they should stay in the dark for now.

Being in the mafia business is a tricky shot, especially having a relationship. It’s almost a miracle how they’ve managed to come so far without being caught red-handed. The mafia is a ruthless industry and it definitely doesn’t wait around for anyone. It’s either kill or be killed and Soonyoung doesn’t want to take any chances.

They’d both agreed that their families should at least know about them for safety purposes, and since Soonyoung’s parents aren’t directly involved in the business, it would be best to tell them first before telling Jihoon’s.

So now here they are, at the front door of Soonyoung’s parent’s apartment door. They’d been standing there for the past ten minutes, with Soonyoung trying his best to coax Jihoon into being more confident. Unfortunately, Jihoon can be easily anxious despite knowing what’s to come and Soonyoung doesn’t exactly know why he’s so nervous.

”What’re you so nervous for?” Soonyoung laughs lightly, twisting his arm to intertwine their hands together. “You’ve met my parents before.”

”I‘ve met your eomma before, but your step-father is in a business trip in Japan,” Jihoon huffs with a pout, “and that was_before_ we bonded, and they don’t even know we’re romantically involved with each other. ‘Course, I’m gonna be nervous!”

Soonyoung grins. There’s a silent implication in Jihoon’s words that he’s probably not aware he’s even made, but Soonyoung feels his heart flutter all the same. His mate is afraid, he realizes, not afraid of his parents, but afraid of rejection. He wants to be accepted as his mate, not just a friend.

_He’s really too cute for his own good, _ Soonyoung thinks fondly.

”Don’t worry, Hoonie,” he says, squeezing Jihoon’s hand affectionately. “If eomma accepted you when I introduced you as my friend, she’ll accept you when I introduce you as my mate. She loved you then and she’ll love you now. Nothing’s gonna change, I promise.”

“And your step-father?”

Soonyoung feels a pang in his heart at the word step-father but tries to remain optimistic. “If he were back from Japan, he’d love you too.”

Jihoon remains silent for a moment. Then, he quietly asks, “Would you have wanted to introduce me if your appa were here?"

It’s not really a loaded question, but it has Soonyoung feeling sad just thinking about it. That familiar feeling of static in his chest. The numbness that runs through his veins at the mention of his appa. For a while, he doesn’t say anything. He stares at the doorbell with a sigh.

“I would’ve,” he says softly. He feels Jihoon squeeze his hand. “And I’m sure he would’ve loved you just as much as eomma."

Jihoon inhales deeply. “Okay, let’s do it.”

Soonyoung grins, ringing the doorbell. He feels Jihoon’s grip on his hand tighten but doesn’t comment when he hears his mother’s voice from the other side.

”Just a moment!”

They wait for said moment and within that time period, Soonyoung tries his best to quell Jihoon’s nervousness, sending out calming pheromones. It’s funny, he muses to himself, how Jihoon isn’t afraid of anything in the mafia, but when it comes to simple matters like family visits, he turns into a jumble of nerves.

The door opens and they’re greeted by a petite woman, who’s wearing a classic _Kiss the Chef _apron and holding a spatula in her hand. Her slanted eyes ― very much like Soonyoung’s ― disappear behind fluffy cheeks ― also very much like Soonyoung’s ― at the sight of them, and Soonyoung is instantly hit by a wave of nostalgia and home.

“And who are you?” she asks playfully, waving her spatula around. “Is this really my baby? Are you really my baby boy?"

Soonyoung hears Jihoon stifle a laugh and his ears redden with embarrassment. He’d forgotten how embarrassing visiting his mother was, especially when he’d bring along company. He loves his mother, he really does, but he knows he’s going to get the short end of the stick the moment they leave if Jihoon’s snickering is anything to go by.

“Eomma,” he whines, “I didn’t come visit just to get hit with this slander."

His mother clicks her tongue, hitting him with the back of the spatula. “Well, that’s what you deserve after all this time you haven’t visited. I’d understand Minkyung because she lives in Gwangju, but I expect more from you, Soonyoung-ssi."

Soonyoung winces at the sharp pain on the back of his head and internally apologizes to Jihoon. “Eomma...you know I’ve been busy."

His mother softens at that, arms wrapping around him in a motherly embrace. “I know,” she murmurs into his ear. “I just wish you’d visit more often. You know I worry about you."

“I’m sorry,” is all Soonyoung can say. “I’ll try, I promise."

He nuzzles his face into her neck, taking in the comforting scent of peaches and although he feels warm, he can’t help the guilt that weighs on his shoulders at how defeated his mother sounds. He knows how dangerous the industry is and his mother has every right to worry about him and his whereabouts, but even so, it’s his job. He understands why she’d be concerned though, because really ― who wouldn’t when your child signs himself up for the mafia?

With a sigh, he averts the subject and pulls away with a smile. “Eomma, you remember Jihoonie, right?"

Like that, his mother is distracted, eyes peering past him and brightening up again. “Of course, I do!” she chirps, walking around him to embrace Jihoon. “Who wouldn’t remember such a handsome face? How are you, sweetie? Come in, come in, you’re just in time for my infamous kimchi fried rice!"

“I’m fine, Minyoung-ssi,” Jihoon answers honestly as they’re both ushered inside. “I’m sorry if my visit was kind of unexpected."

“Nonsense, nonsense.” His mother waves her hand dismissively. “And why so formal, Lee Jihoon? It’s eomma to you, remember?"

Jihoon flushes. “Oh, of course."

Soonyoung guides Jihoon to the dining table with a grin, amused at how flustered his mate seems as he takes a seat next to him. Jihoon has met his mother several times in the past, all visits ending in good spirits. Now that they’ve bonded though, it would seem like his mate isn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

“What brings you two here anyway?” Minyoung questions, turning to look at them over her shoulder. “Not that I’m complaining."

Soonyoung feels Jihoon’s leg twitch nervously against his. “Ah, we’re actually here to talk about something important, and...I think it’s best if you sit down with us for this one."

“Oh?” his mother turns back to the stove. “Alright, let me finish this up and then we can talk."

While his mother turns back to store the rice more, Soonyoung feels his heartbeat begin to race. Turning to Jihoon, he places a reassuring hand on his thigh and rubs soothing circles in the hopes of calming his mate down. It seems to work because he feels his heartbeat calm down significantly and he has to refrain himself from bringing his omega into his arms. He’d agreed to do this at Jihoon’s pace and he’d be damned if he ruined it all because he couldn’t control himself.

His mother sits down across from them while setting down a steaming pot of kimchi fried rice and a few bowls. While it looks absolutely delicious, Soonyoung feels his heartbeat race again.

“So...what did you want to talk about?” his mother chirps, spooning some rice into her bowl.

Just as Soonyoung is about to reveal it all, a familiar scent wafts through the air. Head snapping up, he spots a familiar figure standing at the end of the hallway, looking just as surprised as he does.

“Soonyoung."

“Father?"

Soonyoung watches in disbelief as his step-father enters the dining room and takes a seat next to his mother. It’s a little startling, especially when he thought his step-father was still in Japan. They hadn’t kept in touch much but when they did, it was always curt and awkward.

“What are you doing here?” Soonyoung questions. “I thought you were still in Japan?"

“I came back last week,” his step-father says casually, leaning back in his seat. “Had to take care of a deal in Nagasaki from some of my third parties and now I owe them some information I have yet to find out about. I won’t be here for long though; I’m heading down to Busan in two days to negotiate with my third parties and then we’ll come up with some sort of plan once I have my information."

“Why would you owe them information on something you don’t know about?” Soonyoung asks, head tilted.

His step-father shrugs, a twinkle in his eye. “Let’s just say they have impeccable timing for these kinds of things. They know what they’re doing.” His eyes stray away from him. “And who is our visitor?"

Soonyoung looks discreetly at Jihoon, who seems to freeze at the mention of ’visitor.’ He bites down on his lip to quell an amused smile but ultimately fails when Jihoon clears his throat and bows his head shyly. His mate really is too cute for his own good.

“Jihoon,” he begins. “This is my step-father, Song Daehyun. Father, this is Jihoon, my...actually, that’s what we came here to talk about, eomma."

“Oh?” His mother perks up at the sound of that. 

Soonyoung smiles, glancing at Jihoon. His omega isn’t looking at him but he knows he has his approval to keep going. Intertwining their fingers together, he raises their interlocked hands onto the table, smiling when he hears his mother’s gasp and seeing his father’s face of disbelief.

“He’s my mate,” he confesses. “We actually ― We actually bonded last week and thought it was best to tell you as soon as possible."

The room falls quiet for a moment and within that time period, Soonyoung’s heartbeat skyrockets. He calms Jihoon the best he can without being too intimate, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles soothingly and gently nudging their feet together. Releasing subtle calming pheromones, he smiles when Jihoon squeezes his hand as a silent thanks.

“Oh, Jihoon, I’m so sorry,” Minyoung starts. “I can’t believe you’re bound to my son now."

“Eomma!"

Jihoon blinks, then bursts into laughter as Soonyoung gapes at his mother in disbelief. Said mother is grinning playfully at him, eyes twinkling with mischief as she eats some of her rice casually. 

“Okay, okay, I was just waiting for the opportunity to say that,” she admits. “I’m sorry, I had to."

“No, you didn’t,” Soonyoung grumbles. “You really didn’t."

Jihoon laughs again, squeezing his hand fondly. “If it makes you feel any better,” he says. “I feel sorry for myself too."

“Jihoon!"

Both his mother and mate burst into fits of laughter, and Jihoon has the audacity to blow him an air-kiss apologetically, as if he would accept such an apology.

(He would.)

“Well,” his step-father clears his throat, a smile on his face. “Congratulations to you both. I’m glad to know that you’ve found someone who makes you happy, Soonyoung. What do you work as, Jihoon?"

“A music producer in Seoul,” Jihoon recites perfectly. “I’ll be going down to Busan next week to work with some producers there."

“Interesting,” Daehyun hums. “It’ll be a coincidence if we see each other there since we’ll both be traveling to Busan, hm? You and Soonyoung go hand-in-hand, don’t you? With him being a choreographer and you, a producer ― the ultimate power couple."

Soonyoung grins at that, feeling embarrassment fill him as Jihoon coughs. It’s not his own emotions and he can’t help but tease Jihoon a little, nudging his shoulder. 

Despite feeling prideful, having to lie about their jobs as a supposed “choreographer” and a supposed “producer” remains a reminder that they still have a long way to go before they can reach such a dream. There’s nothing Soonyoung wants more than to live the future he’s always wanted with Jihoon, a future they’ve always wanted, but they’re getting there, with baby steps.

“Speaking of work,” Daehyun begins, and a sudden dreadful feeling rushes through Soonyoung, “I’ve told you before I went to Japan that I need someone to take over my company ― "

“I’m not doing it,” Soonyoung blurts out before he can.

“Soonyoung,” Daehyun sighs. “I need someone to take over the company within the next two years. I’ve told you time and time again but yet you still refuse. I’ve asked Minkyung but she’s happy with her job in the medical field. Joonseo is in his last year of college, you’re the only one."

“I don’t want to,” Soonyoung refuses. “I’m perfectly happy with my job as a choreographer. Why not just find someone else? Or you can wait for Joonseo to graduate."

“The moment Joonseo graduates from college, he won’t want to do it,” Daehyun argues. “He’s busy with his engineering studies, Minkyung is in Gwangju, you're doing nothing but dancing. As far as I know, being a choreographer has no strict schedule, no? I have yet to see you in action, so I have a good reason to ask you such a big favor."

Soonyoung clenches his fist. He’s almost embarrassed, both at the fact that his step-father keeps pushing this matter against him, and because Jihoon is next to him to witness it. He’d been so confident his step-father wouldn’t be here today, especially with his business. He hadn’t thought of what to say if his step-father were to ever ask him this question again. It irks him to the core.

“I’m not going to do it, I told you,” Soonyoung continues. “If you ask me to assist you, maybe I would do it, but taking over the company? That’s too much. I’m not capable of ― of dealing with such a big responsibility."

“You can do it,” his step-father insists, leaning forward in his seat. “It’s not as hard as I make it out to be. I see something in you, Soonyoung. You just have this...I don’t know, it’s ― you have this aura about you...someone who can handle obstacles like it’s nothing, a problem-solver, someone who fights for what’s right."

Soonyoung’s eyes narrow. He doesn’t like how Daehyun is talking, like he’s implying something. He can feel his heartbeat quicken but he maintains a neutral façade. He can’t slip up now. Beside him, he feels Jihoon shift around, most likely also noticing what’s wrong. 

“I refuse,” Soonyoung says slowly, making sure to put emphasis on those two words. “Please just drop this, father. I’m tired of having you ask me this over and over again when we both know what the answer’s gonna be."

“No.” Daehyun shakes his head. “Soonyoung, listen to me ― "

“Daehyun,” Minyoung interjects, and Soonyoung almost cries in relief. “Let Soonie do what he loves. If he’s happy being a choreographer, let him be. Like he said, I’m sure you can find someone more suitable to take over your company. Why are you so adamant on making him do it?"

Daehyun looks irritated. “Because I want my company to run through our bloodline ― "

“We don’t share a bloodline,” Soonyoung interrupts. “You may be my father but we aren’t related by blood. Appa will always be my real father ― "

“Well, your appa isn’t here now, is he?” Daehyun snaps. “ I am your appa, Soonyoung. Kwon Kyungsoon is long gone."

The room falls silent and Soonyoung’s mouth falls open at the blatant disrespect in regards to his appa. He vaguely feels Jihoon’s hand on his thigh, rubbing up and down soothingly but he can’t focus on that. His step-father’s words run through his head, stabbing his brain with the harsh truth. If he wasn’t so shocked by how blunt Daehyun’s words were, he wouldn’t have hesitated to reach across the dining table and punch him.

The numbness inside him begins to burn into something more greedy. He’s angry. So. Damn. Angry.

_How dare he,_ he seethes to himself. _How. Fucking. Dare. He._

Before he can even open his mouth, he hears a loud slap echo through the apartment. When his vision clears up from his angry haze, Daehyun is holding his cheek, bright and red. His mother has her hand raised, looking absolutely pissed.

“I don’t know who you think you are, Daehyun,” his mother starts, voice low and on the verge of a growl, “but don’t you dare dismiss Kyungsoon like that. You may be the father of my children as of now and I may have chosen you to help us heal but that absolutely does not mean you get to parade that privilege around so carelessly. You may be the alpha right now but under this household, I’m in charge. I can easily kick you out like that and I am not afraid to do it. Your secondary gender means of no value to me."

Daehyun still looks angry, but he looks more humiliated than anything. The anger in Soonyoung’s chest turns into something lighter, something prideful. His mother truly is his rock, not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit. He wants to laugh, rub it in Daehyun’s face but he knows he’ll probably be on the end of the short stick.

“You may be Soonyoung’s father, you may be Joonseo’s father, you may be Minkyung’s father,” his mother continues, “but I am their mother. I raised them. I was there since the beginning. You don’t get to treat being their father like you knew them for their whole lives. Remember where you stand to us, Daehyun, because you can easily lose that privilege."

“I wasn’t ― "

“Not another word from you for the rest of the night,” Minyoung snaps. “Either shut your mouth and act civilized or go back to your room and weep it off."

Daehyun clenches his jaw, fists forming into balls. It’s quiet for another moment before he releases a huff and stands up stiffly. With no other words, he stalks off back into the hallway and it’s not long before a door slams shut, indicating his say in the matter.

There’s another pause before Minyoung sighs, relaxing back into her chair. She looks at Soonyoung warily, then to Jihoon and offers a timid smile.

“I’m so sorry if your visit wasn’t as welcoming as you expected, Jihoon,” she says apologetically. “Daehyun is always like this, I don’t know why. He’s always been a little...insistent with matters concerning his business."

“I...can see that,” Jihoon starts slowly. “It’s okay, Min ― e-eomma. I’m sure everyone’s just been a little...” His voice drops lower, “...off lately."

Minyoung nods grimly, clasping her hands under her chin as she looks at Soonyoung. “You are your own person, Soonyoung. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t let someone tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. Trust yourself to make your own decisions. I didn’t raise a coward, did I?"

Soonyoung chuckles. “Sure didn’t."

His mother smiles fondly, then her eyes lower. “Let’s go to the balcony, shall we?"

Soonyoung blinks owlishly at her, making sure he heard correctly. His mother doesn’t say anything and simply stands up, leaving her kimchi fried rice behind as she gestures to the balcony. Ever since he’d joined the mafia business, his mother had made it clear that the balcony would be used to discuss matters about his job, especially with Daehyun implemented in their lives now.

Making a move to follow after her, Soonyoung grabs Jihoon’s hand and tugs him out of his seat, ignoring his startled look. Once they’re outside, he ushers his mate into his seat and closes the sliding door shut tight behind them before seating himself next to Jihoon and across from his mother.

“I was afraid we’d have to do this again,” his mother sighs. “But here we are."

“What happened?” Soonyoung questions.

His mother purses her lips and folds her hands in her lap, looking much like a business woman. “There’s no easy way to go about this, Soonyoung, and I ― I don’t know how to say this...but I don’t think Daehyun is who he says he is."

Soonyoung makes a noise of acknowledgment. “I know what you mean. I mean, he’s only my step-father ― "

“No, that’s not what I mean,” his mother says, shaking her head. “Soonyoung...I think Daehyun has ill intentions."

“What?” Although Soonyoung isn’t surprised in the slightest, his question comes out as a reflex, a precautionary. He trusts his mother with his whole being, and he’s had his own suspicions about his step-father ever since he’d begun to ask him to take over his company.

Minyoung looks grim as she leans forward and lowers her voice, eyeing the screen door cautiously. “I’m sure you’ve had suspicions. I thought it was normal that he kept asking you to take over his company in the beginning, but he’s been more insistent than I remember him being now that he’s returned from Japan, and I’m worried. Not only that, but he’s hiding things from me and I think it has something to do with that deal he made in Nagasaki."

“He’s not telling you anything?” Soonyoung asks again.

His mother shakes her head. “I haven’t mentioned anything else to him yet. For now, I think it’s best to wait it out and see what happens. If Daehyun really isn’t who he says he is, I have more reason to be cautious. What he said back then, how ― how assertive he was when he said  he  was your appa now, that your real appa was long gone ― it didn't sit right with me, and it’s not because he disrespected your appa."

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung frowns. Beside him, Jihoon leans forward, intrigued, and he’s glad he’s not the only one taking notes.

Minyoung sighs, voice dropping to a whisper. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this last time you visited but it slipped my mind,” she says slowly. “Your appa isn’t dead, Soonyoung."

Soonyoung’s face remains neutral, but inside, there’s a concerning amount of conflicting emotions. His appa had been declared dead four years ago in 2012, said by police reports to have been murdered. They’d never found the body, oddly enough, and the killer was never found. A day later, the news of his father’s passing had completely been wiped out of all news stations like nothing happened. Soonyoung, despite mourning the loss of his father at the young age of 15, became more and more skeptical of the situation as time passed but he had no evidence to prove his father was still alive and foolishly convinced himself nobody would believe him.

“I did find the situation weird,” Jihoon speaks up, voicing his exact thoughts. “It was like someone had bribed the news stations into being silent about Kyungsoon’s death. The cops were also odd about the statement that was released. How can they say it was a murder if they never found his body, or the killer?"

“Exactly.” Minyoung nods.

Soonyoung covers the lower half of his face with his hands, eyes trained on the ground in front of him. “What makes you say appa isn’t dead, eomma?"

His mother inhales deeply, then exhales. “I can still feel him. My bond with him ― I can feel it. It’s not very strong and it’s ― it’s so weak, but it’s there. He’s...Jesus, Soonyoung, he’s so hurt now, I can’t even imagine the pain he’s in. For the past few months when Daehyun first left, I’ve been trying to reach out to him, anything I can do to get all the information I can on where he is, but our bond is too weak."

Feeling a hand grab his own, Soonyoung glances at Jihoon, who seems absolutely stunned. He can feel a sense of disturbance swirling inside him, mixed with anxiety, and he knows he’s not exactly a stranger to those emotions. His mother isn’t oblivious to the movement, smiling weakly.

“I’m sure you know what I mean now that you two have bonded,” she murmurs, gesturing to their hands. “You can feel each other’s emotions, right? Like now. That’s your appa and I now, Soonyoung, just...a million times weaker."

“How ― “ Soonyoung croaks. “You said ― you said you bonded with Daehyun two years ago..."

His mother shakes her head. “I only said that to stop you from mentioning anything. If you were to say anything about bonding in front of Daehyun, he wouldn’t stop pestering about it to me, I guarantee it. I’m loyal to your appa, Soonyoung, which is why I haven’t consented, nor will I ever. That bond with your appa, no matter how weak, is the last thing I have of him. I can’t lose that."

Feeling a little dizzy, Soonyoung leans forward to lift his head into his hands. He almost feels like he can’t breathe, a weight pressing down on his chest. It’s too much ― too much information to take in, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. If there’s one thing he knows, it’s that he can overload himself easily if he isn’t careful. 

“Breathe,” Jihoon mutters, placing a hand on his back and rubbing up and down soothingly. “Breathe, Soonie. In, out. In, out."

Soonyoung follows his words, lets himself breathe deeply until the haze in his mind flitters away and his vision begins to clear up. Shivers run up and down his spine and he can’t imagine how devastated his mother feels to almost lose something so special.

“What are you gonna do?” he asks desperately, lifting his head to look at his mother. “What are _we _gonna do?"

His mother shakes her head. “It’s best to continue what we’ve been doing all along,” she says. “I don’t want to raise Daehyun’s suspicions and I don’t want to provoke him any further. It’s near impossible for me to snoop around his things; he’s always around them. I’ll try my best to get him to say bits and pieces here and there, but I can’t guarantee getting anything valuable."

Soonyoung nods slowly, resting his chin on his fist as he rubs his thumb over Jihoon’s knuckles.

“If I can suggest something,” Jihoon starts quietly after a moment, “I heard meditating really helps with...the whole bonding issue. My grandparents...they were divorced for ten years but my grandfather couldn’t let go of my grandmother. They lived on opposite sides of Busan but their bond still faded after a while. He told my mother meditating really helped strengthen their bond again so...if it worked for him, I’m sure it’ll work for you too."

A quiet moment passes, and Soonyoung has to refrain from shedding a few tears. Jihoon must know how much his appa means to him.

Minyoung smiles at him, reaching over to caress Jihoon’s cheek lovingly. “Thank you, Jihoon,” she says. “I’ll be sure to try it out sometime soon. I’m glad I’ll be able to call you my son-in-law. Soonyoung made a right decision in choosing you for once."

“Eomma,” Soonyoung whines.

His mother and mate both share a laugh before she stands up.

“Well,” she says. “We better go inside before Daehyun becomes skeptical. Won’t you guys stay for a bit?"

Soonyoung can see the desperation in his mother’s eyes. She may be good at pretending, but he’s always been able to read her like an open book. He can’t help but feel a little guilty, for deriving his mother from spending some mother-son time together. Seeing the hopefulness in her eyes has him succumbing instantly.

“I’m sure you can teach Jihoonie how to make your famous bibimbap,” is all he says, but his mother positively beams at him, her eyes disappearing behind her cheeks.

Jihoon nudges him playfully, but the serious glint in his eye tells Soonyoung they’re not done talking yet, but they’ll save it for another time.

For now, they have bibimbap to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minyoung, my queen. Now we get into more of Soonyoung’s backstory :)
> 
> Don’t forget to vote for Seventeen on MAMA 2019!
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “So there’s someone else...” Jihoon says, and his voice comes out more softer than he wants it to. He turns back around and drops his head, keeping his vision trained on his clothes as he tries to muster the courage to move. There’s a familiar heat burning in his nostrils, but it’s like something is preventing him from crying. 
> 
> No emotions. No vulnerability. Keep your cool, Lee.
> 
> “Jihoon...” Soonyoung’s voice is soft too, like he didn’t mean to say anything. “Jihoon, I didn’t — "
> 
> Jihoon feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder but the omega is quick to whirl around and slap Soonyoung’s hand away. He doesn’t say anything and instead, he bites the inside of his cheek harshly to prevent any regretful words. He takes a step back, hand clutched tightly to his clothes.


	10. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vulnerable  
/ˈvəln(ə)rəb(ə)l/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.  
\- (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.  
\- (of a partnership) liable to higher penalties, either by convention or through having won one game toward a rubber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Soonhoon but not the content you’re hoping for o3o
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS **

**JULY 18, 2019 **

**Location:** Gapyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Mugan-ri

Jihoon has had a lot of hardships in his life. Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating just a bit, but with everything happening in the last few years, he can safely say he’d definitely experienced a lot of downsides.

His childhood isn’t dark or anything like that. In fact, he’s had a pretty normal and decent childhood with caring parents to accommodate him. He’s been supported by his mother and father in everything he did; taking piano lessons, learning the guitar, composing music, and even working in the mafia business.

Jihoon’s father works in the mafia, which is how he learned about it and started working in the industry. When he had turned thirteen, Jihoon had started working for his father with strict instructions to kill the people he was assigned to. Of course, when you’re in the mafia working for someone you trust so much, you refuse at first. However, Jihoon’s father had reassured him that he wasn’t going to kill anyone innocent and that he works closely with Seungcheol’s father, who also works in the mafia. Hesitantly, he had accepted and the more he worked and trained with his father’s supervision, the more confident he became in his skills. 

Two years later when he turned fifteen, Jihoon decided to start working on his own, promising his father that he’d work along Seungcheol, whom he considered a close brother. The two were a powerful duo, especially with their teammates who they’ve met along the way; they were unstoppable.

However, the moment he met Soonyoung, everything began to change.

It was one thing to befriend a business partner you don’t know, but it’s another to risk having a relationship. What with potential enemies hiding and targeting them, it probably wasn’t the wisest decision. Fast forward three years later and it had been an even riskier thing to bond, especially before they started a mission, a big mission at that. Everything had gone so well but then — but then —

Jihoon doesn’t know what happened. One moment, they were just two teenagers in love, just lying in each other’s arms without caring about the fact that what they were doing could potentially put their lives in danger. The next moment, Nae-ri happened and they would fight, and it didn’t just happen once — it happened every other day. Then, a few days after that, Soonyoung had begun to distance himself and Jihoon didn’t know why. He had tried asking the alpha but it would always lead to them fighting again and Jihoon was at a loss on what to do.

It wasn’t until one stormy night, as cliché as it is, did Soonyoung come up to him, and just when Jihoon had thought they’d make up, they did the exact opposite. For Jihoon, it’s still a sensitive topic to talk about and it still hurts him to his very core when Soonyoung had uttered the words,  bonding was a mistake. I’m sorry, Jihoon but I think we should end our relationship.

Jihoon had tried everything in his power to get an answer out of the alpha, but Soonyoung remained relentless in his decision to stay quiet. The alpha had only repeated what he’d said every time he’d asked and in the end, he left their flat and never once looked back. He didn’t care about being pelted by the harsh rain. He had been hurt and the aching in his heart was no better. He remembered being in so much pain when he walked back to Headquarters, crying himself to sleep as he tried to figure out what was wrong with their relationship.

Fights were normal between couples, but he didn’t think they’d be one of those couples to fight until one of them had enough and decided to up and leave. He had no one to turn to; they’ve kept their relationship in the dark in fear of having to separate from each other if they were caught red-handed but now, his fear had come true.

That was two years ago, but Jihoon convinces himself they’re nothing more but rivals who just so happen to be put in the same mission ever since Nae-ri. There’s been a void inside him that he can’t seem to fill, no matter how much training he’s endured or the time he’s spent with his team.

He wants to hate Soonyoung, for leaving him, for breaking up with him the way he did, for avoiding his questions about their relationship. Most of all, he wants to hate Soonyoung for leading him on without an explanation. 

But he can’t, because he’s still so stupidly in love with the alpha, even if his feelings weren’t reciprocated anymore.

But that was in the past and for now, he has a mission to focus on. He can’t waste his time wishing for something he knows is a long stretch to hope for.

When Jihoon wakes up from his nap, everyone in the bus is quiet, with little murmurs here and there. He sits up slowly, wincing at his aching back as he twists his head to look out the window.

It seems like they’ve stopped in the middle of the road but when he looks to the other side of the bus, the windows are blocked off with trees and greenery and it’s almost dark out. Frowning, he looks around the bus but something doesn’t feel right.

“Where are we?” he croaks out, which causes everyone’s attention to turn to him.

“You’re awake,” Seungcheol hums from the driver’s seat. “We’re in Mugan-ri now." His posture is tense and rigid, making Jihoon’s stomach feel uneasy.

“Shouldn’t we get going then?” Jihoon questions.

“No need,” Jeonghan answers, pursing his lips, “Soonyoung and Chan are down there already."

”What?” Jihoon almost can’t believe what he’s hearing as he stares at the second eldest incredulously. “Are you kidding me? Soonyoung is down there?"

“And Channie,” Seokmin chirps unhelpfully.

Jihoon ignores him. “Are we at least watching them or something? Who’s guiding who?"

“Nobody’s watching them,” Joshua answers. “The cameras there aren’t working, if there are any. We sent them off with earpieces and motion trackers to help them. That’s all we can do for the moment. We just need to wait it out and hope they both come back alive."

“Why isn’t anyone else helping them?” Jihoon demands, not satisfied with the answer. He stands up from his seat. “Why is it only two of them?"

“Sit down, Jihoon,” Seungcheol says, narrowing his eyes as he stares at Jihoon through the rearview mirror. “You are not leaving this bus. I only sent two of them because Mugan is a small neighborhood and there’s more of a chance we’d get caught if I sent more people. It was Soonyoung’s decision to let Chan accommodate him in this scouting."

Jihoon scowls but he doesn’t sit down. Instead, he looks at Seungcheol in defiance. “What if they’re facing ten people there? They’re outnumbered."

“If we hear three shots fired straight, I’ll send my team out to help them,” Seungcheol answers easily. “Why are you so worried about Kwon anyway? I’d get why you’d be worried about Chan, but you and Kwon have been rivals as far as I can remember, which is, in fact, back when Nae-ri happened."

At that, Jihoon sits back down, his scowl deepening. “I didn’t say I was worried about Kwon. I’m just worried that idiot will fail this scouting for us.”  _ Nice save, Jihoon. _

“Have a little faith in them, hyung,” Minghao says. “Soonyoung-hyung has trained us well. They’ll get something."

Jihoon knows there’s truth behind the omega’s words, but the fact that Soonyoung is out there — possibly putting their team at risk — doesn’t sit well with him.

Contrary to what he said, Soonyoung isn’t as much of an idiot as he makes it out to be. Sure, he’s had his moments, but Soonyoung can be very meticulous when it comes to certain things, he knows that for a fact. Jihoon convinces himself he’s not worried though, he doesn’t have the right to after what happened in Nae-ri.

He opts not to say anything. Instead, he waits impatiently and eyes the door, waiting for something — a sign of...he doesn’t know. 

The omega perks up at the sound of gunshots in the distance and everyone turns silent, all listening intently for the three gunshots straight. His heart starts to race but he tries not to let the worry show on his face as he stares intently at the door. The gunshots quieten after a while, but then Jihoon feels a soft, yet abrupt pain on his bicep. He startles, cursing under his breath which causes Seungcheol to glance at him in confusion.

“Soonyoung got shot,” is all Jihoon says before he stands up and stalks towards the door. 

“Hold on, Jihoon,” Seungcheol says, grabbing his forearm, “What are you talking about? How do you know Soonyoung got shot?"

Jihoon’s mouth suddenly doesn’t know how to work. He stares at Seungcheol, wishing he could tell him, but it’s not the right time. Not when they’re in the middle of a mission. The pain in his bicep pulses but Jihoon knows it’s not even half of what Soonyoung is feeling now.

_What the fuck am I doing exposing myself?_

“There they are,” Wonwoo says suddenly and Seungcheol releases his arm to press the button to let Chan and Soonyoung in.

The youngest alpha looks frantic as he slams a manila folder down on the compact table. “There’s a first aid kit on this bus, right?” he asks, reading the labels on the compartments.

Jihoon tunes him out and instead, his eyes zero on Soonyoung’s bleeding arm. It’s not a pretty sight and the alpha’s fingers aren’t doing much to help cover the wound, especially with the blood seeping through them. Jihoon feels the pain flare up the more he looks at it. He purses his lips, grabbing the alpha’s good arm and pulling him inside the bus.

“What the fuck, Kwon,” he growls, marching them down the aisle towards the back and forcing the alpha to sit down. “What do you think you’re doing?"

“Obviously scouting,” Soonyoung replies sarcastically. “Your sleeping ass wasn’t much help anyway."

“You aren’t being much help getting shot either, dumbass,” Jihoon snaps back, removing the alpha’s fingers from the wound and inspecting it. The pain in his own arm flares up again. 

“I’ve been through worse,” Soonyoung shrugs, flinching away from Jihoon’s touch. Soonyoung pulls away from him again when he tries to see the wound once more, turning his arm. “That fucking hurts."

“It’s going to hurt much worse if you don’t get it healed, asshole,” Jihoon huffs, then holds his hand out toward Chan. “Give me the gauze pads."

Soonyoung scoffs. “What is this, Lee? You’re healing me?"

“You know damn well why I’m healing you,” Jihoon growls back and this time, Soonyoung falls silent.

Chan hands Jihoon the gauze pads and the omega carefully cleans the area around the wound, removing the extra blood and dirt. He can feel Soonyoung’s gaze on him but he doesn’t look up. They probably look very odd to everyone watching them; Lee Jihoon healing Kwon Soonyoung, two people known as sworn rivals after Nae-ri happened. There’s a thick tension in the air that’s making Jihoon feel uncomfortable but he tries to focus on the task at hand.

“Sterile dressing,” Jihoon demands. When he’s handed the dressing, he cautiously wraps it around Soonyoung’s bicep then reaches for some adhesive tape to hold it together. “Too tight?"

“No, sir,” Soonyoung mutters, moving his arm around.

Jihoon reaches for a pack of wipes and grabs one. “Gimme your hand."

He freezes for a moment to think what the fuck am I doing? It seems like Soonyoung feels just as awkward as he feels.

Instead, the omega reaches for his hand and rolls the gloves off, only to pause when faint sparks shock him. Jihoon clenches his jaw as he discards the bloody hand protectors into a bin before beginning to clean Soonyoung’s hand gently. He doesn’t mention anything about the sparks and neither does Soonyoung.

“Where we going next?” Jihoon asks in a pathetic attempt to distract himself and maybe everyone else who’s looking at them.

The group is looking at them, some with shocked looks and others looking just as awkward as them. Seungcheol speaks up first.

“Well,” the leader says, clearing his throat. “Uh, I think it’s best if we crash into a hotel for tonight. We need to get our energy up if we want to keep consistent with our mission. Speaking of mission, did you guys find anything?"

“I found a file,” Chan answers, taking the chance to grab said file. "It seems to have a lot of details on more people, but also some sort of code."

“Code?” Seungkwan asks, intrigued.

Chan opens the file and spreads some papers over the compact table. Some papers include pictures of men, some of which have a large X running across the faces. Other papers include pictures of what seems to be three small hand-written drawings, most likely symbols. However, there’s one paper, mostly blank, with a code typed on it.

00110011 00110111 10111010 00110011  
00111000 00011001 00011001 00110101  
00110011 00101110 00110100 00011101  
00100010 01001110 00101100 00100000  
00110001 00110010 00110111 10111010  
00110001 00111000 00011001 00011001  
00110001 00110000 00101110 00111000  
00100010 00011101 01000101 00100000  
00001010 00001010 00110011 00110101  
10111010 00110001 00110001 00011001  
00011001 00110000 00110010 00101110  
00110010 00011101 00100010 01001110  
00101100 00100000 00110001 00110010  
00110110 10111010 00110101 00110000  
00011001 00011001 00110001 00110001  
00101110 00110001 00011101 00100010  
01000101 00100000

”It’s a binary code,” Seungkwan observes. “We don’t have the time to translate it now. Unless we’re done for today, we need to keep going."

“I think that would be best,” Seungcheol claims. “We need to rest up, especially now that Soonyoung got hurt. Kwan, can you translate before tomorrow morning?"

Seungkwan has the audacity to look offended. “Can I — Are you really asking me that? Of course, I can."

“Then we’ll have no problem,” Seungcheol hums, sitting in the driver’s seat and starting the bus. “I say we crash at a hotel for tonight, maybe in Yongmun, get some rest so we can keep consistent with the mission. We’ll look up the code there so if there’s any chance the gang might look for us, we can up and leave for Dangu."

“Sounds good,” Jeonghan agrees easily. “To Yongmun then."

—

**HOTEL**

** JULY 18, 2019  **

**Location:** Yangpyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongmun-myeon

When they get to their hotel in Yangmun, not only is it dark out but the clouds are rolling in, creating a gloomy effect. They check in with the receptionist and they’re fortunate enough to stay on the same floor. However, the same can’t be said about the decision of who’s rooming with who.

“Alright,” Seungcheol says as the group stands in the hallway of their floor. They’ve packed up small bags enough to last them the entire night. “We have six cards and thirteen members. One pair will have to become a trio since we’re an odd number."

“We’ll be the odd trio,” Jeonghan says, taking Joshua’s wrist and grabbing a card from the eldest. “You, me, and Shua."

Seungcheol blinks but then a light flush, barely visible, takes over his cheeks. “Uh, right. Okay yeah,” he clears his throat, then glances around. “Who’s rooming with who?"

“Hansol and I have a lot to catch up on,” Seungkwan declares, snatching a card before he loops his arm around the beta’s. “We haven’t really hung out since his last mission and I miss him. It feels like years since we last saw each other."

“It’s only been a few months,” Hansol chuckles but he doesn’t push Seungkwan away. Instead, he shoves his hand in his pocket but keeps their arms looped. “But yeah, I don’t mind rooming with Boo."

“Anyone else?” Seungcheol questions the others.

“I’ll room with Hao,” Junhui says when nobody makes a move to say anything. He grabs one of the cards from the leader and stands by Minghao, who doesn’t seem to be protesting.

“Channie and I will room together!” Seokmin chirps excitedly, grabbing a card.

Seungcheol looks expectantly at the remaining four and Wonwoo, Mingyu, Jihoon and Soonyoung look around awkwardly, obviously not wanting to make any regretful decisions. The air begins to thicken with tension again until Wonwoo speaks up, albeit a little stiffly.

“I’ll room with...Mingyu?” he says, although it comes out more of a question as he looks unsurely up at the taller man. “Um...if you don’t want to, I can room with Soony — "

“No, no!” Mingyu exclaims hurriedly, grabbing a card from Seungcheol. “Uh, I don’t mind. Um, I guess we’re rooming together then."

Seungcheol shifts his gaze to the other two leaders, who look anything but pleased now. He smiles in an attempt to be cheerful. “Well, looks like you two are the last ones, so you’ll room together. Who knows? Maybe after this, you guys will finally make up with whatever rivalry you two have and be friends again.”

There’s a glint in his eye that makes Jihoon feel uneasy. In all the years he’s known the alpha, he knows he’s up to no good. 

He bitterly walks up to Seungcheol and swipes the last card out of his hand. “Highly unlikely,” he mutters but he makes no attempt to protest.

“If you find my corpse tomorrow, you’ll know the reason,” Soonyoung adds, just as disgruntled as the Jihoon.

Seungcheol coughs and tries to slice the thick air. “Anyway, we’ll meet in the diner tomorrow morning, 7 AM sharp. We’ll figure out the code there and then hit the road, sound good?” There’s a bunch of affirmative responses. “Well, if there’s no questions, sleep well everyone. Don’t be late. Otherwise, we’re leaving without you."

Everyone disperses to their rooms then, leaving Jihoon and Soonyoung standing awkwardly in the hallway.

_Let’s get this over with,_ the omega thinks to himself, walking in the direction of their room.  _It can’t get any worse than this._

He doesn’t check to see if Soonyoung is following him, not wanting to make any contact with the alpha. However, his intentions are overruled when he gets to the end of the hallway and opens the door. He freezes in his tracks, causing Soonyoung to bump into him.

“What the fuck — “ Soonyoung’s complaints die on his tongue and Jihoon doesn’t have to see his face to know he’s surprised too.

It _did_ get worse.

Jihoon inhales slowly and grits his teeth, his fingers tightening around the strap of his backpack. “I am going to fucking kill Choi Seungcheol."

Just when he thought his luck had run out rooming with Soonyoung, everything just turned for shit when he spots  one  bed in the middle of the room. Taunting them. Now he knows why Seungcheol was so enthusiastic about getting them to room together and why he’d felt uneasy seeing the glint in his eye. How Seungcheol managed to get them in the same room, he doesn’t know. The rest of the room is normal and Jihoon spots an armchair in the corner of the room next to the bed. 

“I’m sleeping on the chair,” Soonyoung declares before he can, shoving past Jihoon and plopping his backpack on the carpet next to the dresser. 

“Like hell you are,” Jihoon retorts, slamming the door closed behind him in hopes that Seungcheol can feel his anger across the hall. “I’m sleeping on the chair. You have a fucking wound."

“Why does it matter if I have a wound or not?” Soonyoung questions with a huff, already making his way to the armchair. “It’s not like it’s on my back or anything. Besides, why do you even care where I sleep?"

Jihoon’s jaw clenches but he tries to refrain himself from going off on the alpha. He’s never felt such a strong urge to just go off on Soonyoung. He wants to question why they fell apart, if their breakup was his fault or if Soonyoung just fell out of love. He wants to know why Soonyoung didn’t explain anything, why he’d been distant all those years ago. If Soonyoung can somehow still feel his emotions, he doesn’t mention anything about it.

Jihoon doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

“Because I don’t want you to prolong your healing,” says Jihoon, although it’s a rhetorical question. “As much as I don’t want to be doing this mission with you, we can’t have you going out of commission. Not only that, but I’ll end up getting hurt too and we can’t risk everyone knowing, can we?” He doesn’t look at Soonyoung as he talks and instead, he takes out his clothes from his backpack on the dresser, intending on taking a much-needed shower break.

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Nice to know you care."

“You lost all rights for me to give a single shit about you when we broke up,” Jihoon snarls, eyes narrowed fiercely as a low growl rips from his throat. He can feel his temper begin to rise, like a fuse waiting to be set off. How dare Soonyoung say things like that so casually, like they’re still something? “You can’t say that as if we’re still together. Either you want to revive what we once had or you don’t, it’s fucking simple."

“It’s not simple, Jihoon,” Soonyoung says, and he seems frustrated as he runs a hand through his hair. “There’s someone I think is — “ He immediately cuts himself off, looking like he shouldn’t have said something he said.

And maybe he did.

Jihoon suddenly feels like his senses are being drowned as he stares at Soonyoung, eyes wide. His movements to get his clothes out from his backpack freezes and he can’t hear anything else but the blood rushing to his ears. He didn’t know what he was expecting but hearing those words come out of the alpha’s mouth is like a bullet to his heart. It’s more painful than any wound he’s gotten, more damaging than any gun he’s ever fired. They’re not an item anymore and he needs to remind himself that, but it hurts all the same and Jihoon feels — numb.

He doesn’t get it. He shouldn’t be feeling upset, so hurt. Throughout the past two years, he’d tried so desperately to keep his wall up, his façade and protection. Ever since his fallout with Soonyoung, he’d learned one thing: love is painful, and by making yourself vulnerable to it, you’ll only get hurt. He’s supposed to hate him, has tried to convince himself that he does, so why does it still hurt? He curses himself silently for his weak heart.

Funny how his wall crumbles at the sound of someone else.

_ Fuck you, Kwon Soonyoung.  _

“So there’s someone else...” Jihoon says, and his voice comes out more softer than he wants it to. He turns back around and drops his head, keeping his vision trained on his clothes as he tries to muster the courage to move. There’s a familiar heat burning in his nostrils, but it’s like something is preventing him from crying. 

_No emotions. No vulnerability. Keep your cool, Lee._

“Jihoon...” Soonyoung’s voice is soft too, like he didn’t mean to say anything. “Jihoon, I didn’t — "

Jihoon feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder but the omega is quick to whirl around and slap Soonyoung’s hand away. He doesn’t say anything and instead, he bites the inside of his cheek harshly to prevent any regretful words. He takes a step back, hand clutched tightly to his clothes.

_I don’t care about Kwon Soonyoung._

“Jihoon, that’s not what I — "

“I’m taking the chair tonight,” Jihoon interrupts swiftly, grabbing his clothes from the top of the dresser. 

With nothing else to say and simultaneously, a million things to say, the omega briskly walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. He doesn’t make a sound until the water is running. Until the hot water is pelting his skin and only then does he allow himself to let go. His movements are robotic, body on autopilot as he washes himself slowly. It’s like basking in a shower of numbness. Numbness and bitterness.

_ I don’t care about Kwon Soonyoung. _

He doesn’t know how long he stays in the shower but it’s only when the water turns lukewarm does he decide he can’t hide forever. He has to face Soonyoung at some point whether he likes it or not, for the sake of the mission and whatever is left of their “friendly" relations. There’s nothing he can do now. He can only hope things will look up for him after they’re finished. 

Sighing, Jihoon turns off the water and dries himself off before changing his clothes. He catches sight of a white box hanging on the wall and purses his lips.

_ I don’t care about Kwon Soonyoung. _

Jihoon quietly opens the door and steps out. He shoves his clothes back in his bag and doesn’t make eye contact with Soonyoung, who’s watching him intently from the bed. He doesn’t say anything until he’s settled himself uncomfortably in the armchair, facing away from the alpha and closing his eyes in the hopes that he’d be able to fall asleep quick enough to forget everything that’s happened in the past half hour.

“There’s a first aid in the bathroom,” he says quietly without opening his eyes. “Go change your bandage when you’re done."

A slow sigh comes from the other side of the room and then some shuffling. When Jihoon hears the click of the bathroom door, he opens his eyes and glances out at the balcony, smiling bitterly. 

_I care about him, _he thinks to himself. _Stupid Jihoon. So much can happen in two years. Where did we go wrong?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAMA was rigged, period. But I’m not gonna wallow in that any longer. Instead, let’s wallow in this Soonhoon angst ;; 
> 
> Anyway, so finals are coming up next week for me and I feel like I still have so much work to turn in. I hate this feeling >< Like, for my English final, I have to make a 3-minute speech similar to inaugural addresses that presidents make. I’m fucked.
> 
> Anyway, how is your day? Please rest well and eat lots :)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Hey, hey,” Jihoon ushers above him, gently pushing his shoulders back against the wall to steady him. “Soonyoung, hey, calm down. We can’t lose you right ― Soonyoung. Look at me, Soonyoung, look at me."
> 
> 'Look at me, baby, look at me.'
> 
> At the sudden flashback, Soonyoung raises his head weakly, a blurred Jihoon in his line of sight. His vision goes in and out of focus and the harder he tries to pay attention to what Jihoon is saying, the sicker he feels. He can see Jihoon’s lips moving, but his words go in one of his ears and out the other. Numb is the only thing he feels now, senses tingling with nothing but fear.


	11. Vexatious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vexatious  
/vekˈsāSHəs/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. causing or tending to cause annoyance, frustration, or worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference:
> 
> Tried to conceive - Translate the code  
Coordi-noona - Coordinates  
Debunked - Decoded  
Taming - Targeting
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL**

**JULY 19, 2019 **

**Location:** Yangpyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongmun-myeon

It’s hard when you want to tell someone something but you can’t — or you can, but the best option would be not to tell them that something. It’s like the feeling you get when there’s words on the tip of your tongue but you just...can’t get them out. It’s one of the worst kinds of torture — to say something you can’t exactly say because you know it’ll only get you in trouble. The question you have to ask yourself is “how far am I willing to go to protect this someone?” and “what am I willing to sacrifice to keep this person out of harm’s way?” 

Soonyoung has both answers to that. For Jihoon, he’s willing to go travel to the ends of the Earth, to fly to the moon and back if it means protecting him. He’s willing to sacrifice anything to make sure he stays under the radar, even if it means sacrificing one of the most important things in his life — their shared bond.

He’s had to bite his tongue one too many times to keep himself from spilling anything and he knows it’s not just affecting him. Everything he’s done so far is for Jihoon’s benefit and whether he’s risking his own life, he doesn’t care, but he hopes one day, the younger can see that.

He doesn’t hate Jihoon, no. Although he’s tried to convince himself he does, he could never bring himself to. Everything that had happened from Nae-ri up to now is all his fault and he has to remind himself that Jihoon is completely oblivious — as much of a great espionage he is — to what’s going on. 

Soonyoung sighs out softly as he stares at Jihoon’s sleeping figure beside him. A heavy nostalgia weighs itself inside his chest, making him yearn, _crave _for something he’s yet to earn.

If they weren’t on such rocky roads, he wouldn’t have hesitated to bring the omega into his arms like he used to, to nuzzle his soft hair and inhale his sweet citrus scent, to nip lightly at the _very _faded mark on his neck to get him to wake up in a good mood. But he can’t. Not anymore.

They’re nothing more than rivals at this point and it doesn’t help that Jihoon had thought Soonyoung was seeing another person when in reality, the alpha had to bite his tongue sharply before he could mention that Jihoon was being targeted. He can’t let the espionage know what’s going on, even if he’s the only one being damaged at this point.

Soonyoung only decides to stop his admiring when he hears his phone ding. Standing up, he walks over to grab the device and check his notifications.

> **Alpha-hyung  
**Is anyone else awake?
> 
> ** Alpha-hyung   
** han shua and I are heading down for the diner.
> 
> **Han(d)so(me)l  
** Seungkwan is in the shower now. We’ll be down soon.
> 
> **Maknae  
** Don’t forget about the coordinates
> 
> ** Leader-nim   
** Especially the coordinates.
> 
> **Maknae  
** Seokminnie-hyung and I are just packing our things.
> 
> ** Weewoo   
** Mingyu and I are on our way now.
> 
> **Kwon Tiger  
**Jihoon’s still sleeping. I’ll wake him up. 
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**wow you guys didn’t kill each other?
> 
> **Leader-nim   
** gj
> 
> ** Minnie   
** Be careful trying to wake him, hyung!
> 
> ** Minnie   
** He tends to be a little violent in the mornings! 
> 
> **Kwon Tiger  
** dw, ik
> 
> **Maknae  
**We’re leaving now

Soonyoung sets his phone back down and turns around, ready to face the music. He walks around the bed to Jihoon’s side and as much as he doesn’t want to wake the younger up — partly because he doesn’t want to deal with Jihoon’s morning tantrum and partly because he knows the younger doesn’t have a good sleep schedule — he knows there’s going to be hell to pay if they don’t get to the diner in the next twenty minutes.

“Yah, wake up,” Soonyoung grumbles, flicking Jihoon’s shoulder harshly. When he’s met with no response, the alpha starts shaking him vigorously. “Yah, yah, Lee. Wake up. Jihoon, we need to get down to the diner in twenty. I’m not waiting around for you. Jihoon. You need to change."

“Go away,” comes Jihoon’s groan, batting Soonyoung’s hand away. “Leave me alone."

“No, we need to go,” Soonyoung insists, shaking the younger again. He’s almost forgotten how stubborn and hard it is for Jihoon to get out of bed. “I do not want to face Seungcheol’s wrath if we’re late. Get the fuck up."

“Seungcheol can go suck a dick,” Jihoon growls, batting the alpha’s hand away again. He opens his eyes slightly, glaring at the older. “Leave me alone."

“Jihoon, I’m not fucking kidding,” Soonyoung snaps with a huff. “I will carry you out of this room if I have to."

“I’d like to see you try,” Jihoon snarks back, pulling the covers over his head. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s been moved to the bed last night and Soonyoung is internally grateful for how slow he is in his attempts to wake up. 

Soonyoung purses his lips and tries not to lose his composure. Instead, he grants Jihoon’s wish and rips the covers off of his head. Ignoring the omega’s hiss at the sudden motion, he bends down and wraps his hands around Jihoon’s slim waist before hoisting the younger over his shoulder, carrying him effortlessly despite the wound on his bicep.

“Yah!” Jihoon yelps, gripping the small of Soonyoung’s back instinctively. When he realizes what’s going on, he growls and starts pounding his fists against the alpha’s back. “Yah! Kwon Soonyoung, put me down this instant! Soonyoung, I swear to God. You fucking piece of shit — "

“What?” Soonyoung snickers. “You said you’d like to see me try, did you not?"

“That was meant to be sarcastic, you dumbass!” Jihoon snarls, relentlessly punching the alpha. “Put me down!"

“Okay then,” Soonyoung shrugs, releasing his hold on the omega.

Jihoon topples back on the bed, a little disoriented but he’s still angry. He glares at Soonyoung again, an unpleasant expression on his face as he spits, “Fuck you."

Soonyoung walks to the dresser and tosses Jihoon’s backpack to him. “Get dressed,” he says simply, trying to prevent himself from making any unnecessary comments. “I’m going to change my bandage. If you are anywhere near the bed by the time I get out of the bathroom, I’m going to carry you the whole way to the diner whether you like it or not."

Jihoon scowls at him, taking his clothes out of his bag petulantly. “Asshole,” he grumbles.

Soonyoung ignores his comment and walks into the bathroom to bandage himself up again. He takes his time, unwrapping the old dressing and replacing it with a new one. Really, he’s only taking his time because he wants to carry Jihoon down, but knowing the younger, he won’t go near the bed with a threat like that. Sure enough, when Soonyoung gets out of the bathroom, Jihoon is standing by the door, dressed and ready and scowling.

“Let’s go,” is all the omega says before he swings the door open and stalks down the hallway.

Soonyoung snickers, grabs his bag and closes the door behind him, following after Jihoon.

―

**HOTEL DINER**

** JULY 19, 2019  **

**Location:** Yangpyeong-gun, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongmun-myeon

When Soonyoung and Jihoon walk down to the diner, the group is already taking up four tables against the wall and they seem to be the last pair to arrive. There’s a buffet of food placed across the tables, steaming hot and served in large portions. Everyone else has already started digging into their breakfast and possibly their meal for the rest of the day.

”Last but not least,” Seokmin declares upon seeing Soonyoung and Jihoon walk up to them. “The food just got here, you’re just in time.” The loud omega is stuffing his face with rice and kalbi and Jihoon cringes at how messy he is.

“No extra wounds, Kwon?” Seungcheol jokes as the younger alpha sits down in front of him. “That’s a miracle.”

“A huge miracle,” Jeonghan mutters beside him. “Aish, whenever I try to wake him up, he throws his alarm clock at me. I have a scar to prove how ruthless he is.” At that, the beta lifts his sleeve up with a dramatic expression, revealing a short cut.

Jihoon opts to take a seat next to Hansol, huffing as he breaks apart a pair of chopsticks. “Fucker threatened to carry me downstairs. I’m not gonna fall for that."

“At least it was effective,” Soonyoung grumbles, ladling some soup into a small bowl. “Little shit becomes a fucking stubborn pain in the ass in the morning to deal with."

“What the fuck did you just call me, you bastard?” Jihoon snarls as he stands up, eyes flaring as he reaches for a butter knife and points it threateningly at the alpha. “Repeat what you just said, I dare you."

“The fuck you gonna do with a butter knife?” Soonyoung taunts, rolling his eyes. As much as he hates fighting with Jihoon, especially after they split, he has to admit he feels a flare of amusement in his chest knowing how easily riled up the omega can get.

From behind the counter, Seungcheol can see the workers looking at them worriedly, whispering to each other. He pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a long, slow sigh. “Jihoon, sit back down. Soonyoung, just shut up. It’s seven in the morning, way too early to be dealing with both of you at each other’s throats and I don’t know about you two, but I do not want to get us kicked out of the diner. We’re not here to fight, we’re here to _try to conceive_what Chan retrieved yesterday."

“Speaking of _trying to conceive_,” Seungkwan speaks up, catching onto the acronym. He opens his backpack and brings out a piece of paper and a pencil, “Chan, you have it?"

Chan nods affirmatively, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the folded piece of paper. 

Unfolding it, Seungkwan examines the numerous digits filled with zeroes and ones, mumbling quietly under his breath. Soonyoung watches him write chicken-scratch on the blank space underneath, what seems to be numbers.

“37...38...53...4...N...” Seungkwan whispers, then looks up with his eyebrows furrowed. “I think these are locations."

_“Coordi-noonas?”_ Jihoon slips in casually, taking a sip of his water.

“Yeah. I have the first one _debunked_already. Um...so 37, 38, 53, and 4, north. The second one is 127, 18, 10, and 8, east...there’s more, hold on,” Seungkwan mutters, getting to work to decode the next coordinates.

Jeonghan takes his phone out and begins searching. “Here, I’ll look it up."

It’s quiet for a few moments and then Seungkwan murmurs the next coordinates. “35, 11, 2, and 2, north. Next one is 125, 50, 11, and 1, east."

Jeonghan repeats the coordinates under his breath as his fingers work quickly to type the numbers in. “Okay, got it."

Soonyoung doesn’t know why, but hearing those words leave the beta’s lips brings a sick feeling to his stomach. The uneasiness swells inside him the more he waits to hear the names of the locations. He tries to dismiss it though, thinking he’s just uncomfortable with how they’re talking about codes in such a public place.

“Oh,” Seungcheol says with a frown, leaning over to see the screen of Jeonghan’s phone. “That's...weird.”

“What is?” Chan questions, placing his fork on his plate.

Seungcheol’s eyes flicker to Soonyoung’s for a moment, and that tiny glance isn’t helping the anxiety in the pit of his stomach. 

“It’s...” Seungcheol says slowly. “There’s a  _ coordi-noona _ in Namyangju and one in Gwangju."

Before Soonyoung has a chance to ask to see the phone, Jihoon beats him to it.

“Let me see,” the omega demands, moving his plate away and holding his hand out. 

Jeonghan hands his phone over to the leader without question, and when Jihoon scans through it, a similar frown curls on his lips much like Seungcheol. Soonyoung catches his eye for a quick second, but in those two seconds they made eye contact, the alpha can feel something in him drop.

Jihoon coughs. “The _c_ _ oordi-noonas _ are in Maseok and Singa...Soonyoung, that’s where ― "

“What?” Soonyoung feels his heart begin to race in his chest as he reaches over and holds his hand out. “Let me see."

Almost reluctantly, Jihoon hands over the phone to him, pursing his lips as he does so. When Soonyoung zooms into the locations, the unsettling feeling in his stomach grows drastically when he realizes how  _specific _ the coordinates are. A gut feeling inside of him is telling him something isn’t right, but he doesn’t want to make any rash decisions.

“That...” he says slowly, scrolling back and forth between the two locations on the map as his eyebrows furrow. He whips his head towards Seungkwan, who almost flinches in surprise. “Why the fuck are the _coordi-noonas _there? Seungkwan, are you sure you _tried to conceive _correctly?"

“I’m positive, hyung.” Seungkwan nods his head, handing the paper to Jihoon for confirmation. “Why? What’s wrong?"

“My eomma.” Soonyoung gnaws on his lip, giving Jeonghan’s phone back and inhaling sharply. He can’t lose control. “My family lives in that exact location in Maseok. My noona lives in that exact location in Gwangju. Are you a hundred percent sure you _debunked _this correctly? This can’t be right."

Despite his denial, when he looks up at Jihoon hopefully, that hope instantly shatters when the omega shakes his head.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung breathes, running his hands through his hair as he sinks against his chair. “What the hell? Why would someone have _coordi-noonas _at those places?"

“It was very oddly specific too,” Jihoon agrees. “The only reason I can think of is that someone is _taming _them."

“You did not just say that,” Soonyoung hisses, excusing himself from the table and whipping his phone out.

Walking back into the lobby in a secluded corner, he dials his mother anxiously, feeling his palms begin to sweat with every ring that goes through. He paces back and forth for a few moments, head filling with the continuous dial until the dreaded voicemail pops up. He has to refrain himself from throwing his device and tries again, praying, hoping, someone will pick up.

_ You have reached the voicemail of Kwon Minyoung. If you would like to leave a message, please wait after the beep ― _

From his peripheral vision, he can see Jihoon walking up to him dubiously, heat tilted as if to ask  _nothing yet?_

Soonyoung shakes his head with a sigh and although he probably shouldn’t, he asks, “Can you try call eomma? I’m gonna see if I can reach noona or Joonseo."

Nodding, Jihoon pulls his own phone out to dial Soonyoung’s mother as requested. Soonyoung finds himself a little surprised at how Jihoon hadn’t hesitated but he supposes it’s because Jihoon and his mother were close before. 

_Before Nae-ri happened_, his brain supplements unhelpfully.

Shaking his head, Soonyoung tries to dial his sister, feeling a little light-headed with each passing ring. 

They’re both quiet for a moment, waiting for a response of some sort ― anything. After a few more tries, Soonyoung’s phone comes up blank with nothing but the dreaded voice mails. Dialing his brother in the hopes of getting something, he comes up blank with him as well. On the other hand ―

“Hello?” 

Soonyoung’s cluttered mind comes to a halt when he hears Jihoon speak into his phone. He stares at the omega, watching his expression change from relieved to confused in a matter of a few seconds. 

“Hello?” Jihoon says again, pulling his phone away from his ear to check the caller ID before speaking again. “Hello? Is anyone there? Eomma? Eomma, it’s Jihoon ― “ A long beep emits from the device and Jihoon stares at it again, puzzled.

“She answered?” Soonyoung asks hopefully.

“Someone picked up,” Jihoon answers, dialing the number again. “I couldn’t hear anything though ― Hello? Eomma, can you hear me? Hello ― “ The long beep comes back.

“What the fuck,” Soonyoung whispers, running his hands through his hair again. “What the fuck, what the fuck, _what the fuck_. I can’t ― holy shit, I can’t ― I feel like I’m gonna throw up.“

He leans against the wall and rests his hands on his knees, head hanging. Breathing in abruptly, he feels his lungs constrict painfully in his chest, sharp and strong. The uneasiness from before becomes a more powerful nuisance, swirling in his stomach and demanding attention. He can feel himself paling as his blood leaves his head, making him dizzy. The floor beneath his feet becomes blurry and he almost stumbles forward.

“Hey, hey,” Jihoon ushers above him, gently pushing his shoulders back against the wall to steady him. “Soonyoung, hey, calm down. We can’t lose you right ― Soonyoung. Look at me, Soonyoung, look at me."

_Look at me, baby, look at me._

At the sudden flashback, Soonyoung raises his head weakly, a blurred Jihoon in his line of sight. His vision goes in and out of focus and the harder he tries to pay attention to what Jihoon is saying, the sicker he feels. He can see Jihoon’s lips moving, but his words go in one of his ears and out the other. Numb is the only thing he feels now, senses tingling with nothing but fear. 

He can vaguely hear Jihoon calling for someone to retrieve something ― a glass of water, he thinks, and then his shoulders are being pressed down gently, like Jihoon is guiding him to sit. He does so willingly, legs collapsing underneath him like building blocks. He feels Jihoon position his knees upwards, then his head is being guided down between them. He lets himself be manhandled, can feel his staggered breathing become steady bit by bit. His vision clears up slightly, and the floor doesn’t double anymore.

After a few seconds, he feels a tap on the crown of his head and when he looks up, Jihoon is squatting in front of him, holding a glass of water with Seungkwan standing beside him.

“Drink,” Jihoon says simply, holding the glass out. 

Soonyoung reaches out for the glass with shaking hands but the moment he grasps it, it almost slips out of his grip. Jihoon takes the glass away quickly and bats his hands away. Feeling his chin being tilted up, Soonyoung feels the lukewarm water being pressed against his lips and he sips, slightly embarrassed to be taken care of like a baby.

Jihoon pulls the glass away after a moment, handing it back to Seungkwan. “Good?"

Soonyoung nods slowly, suddenly feeling a lot more drained. “I need to make sure they’re okay."

Jihoon’s eyes flash with an emotion too quick for Soonyoung to decipher, but he certainly looks like he’s about to disagree. If it weren’t for what happened just a few seconds, Soonyoung would’ve interrupted his list of reasons why it would be a bad idea to go back to Namyangju but at the moment, his head feels like it’s full of cotton.

“You can’t go, Soonyoung, you know that,” Jihoon says firmly, like he knew exactly what he’d been thinking. "We’re halfway across South Korea at this point, it’s too late to turn back ― "

“That’s my family in danger, Jihoon,” Soonyoung hisses back. “There wouldn’t be _coordi-noonas _there if it weren’t for a specific reason. I’m not gonna sit around here and do nothing while they’re in this type of situation. If it were you in my place, you’d understand. Fuck, you’d probably even understand just a little of how I feel right now."

Jihoon’s jaw clenches, eyes catching Seungkwan’s for a split second before glaring back at him. “Soonyoung."

“You told me,” Soonyoung spits out. “You said so yourself, you couldn’t think of any other reasons why _coordi-noonas _would be in those places other than it’s because they’re being _tamed_. Tell me, is there any other explanation you have if it’s something other than danger, huh? Tell me, Jihoon. A fucking garage sale?"

Jihoon’s temper flares. “Don’t get all sarcastic with me, Kwon,” he growls. “There might be no other explanation ― nothing that I can think of at the moment anyway, but going back to Namyangju or Gwangju impulsively is a stupid idea, and unless you want to cause more trouble for yourself, be my guest, but if it’s all a trap and they lure you in, I won’t be the one saving your sorry ass."

Soonyoung laughs, almost incredulously. “You _will _be the one saving my sorry ass and we both know why, unless you need a reminder."

He instantly regrets what he said when Jihoon stands up abruptly with clenched fists. “I think _you_ need the reminder, Kwon,” he growls, “because I wasn’t the one who ran away from my goddamn problems without confronting about them. I wasn’t leading someone on with no explanation, so fuck you, Kwon Soonyoung. Go fuck yourself."

With that, Jihoon storms back into the diner, leaving Soonyoung and Seungkwan alone in a corner of the lobby.

“Hyung ― "

“Fuck my life,” Soonyoung groans, tilting his head against the wall and rubbing his hands down his face. “Everything is falling apart, Kwan. I don’t know what to do. Every time I try to fix a problem, another one comes and just ― I’m losing everything."

Seungkwan stays quiet for a moment, listening to him ranting and Soonyoung almost wishes the younger would scold him for his rash decisions, but he doesn’t. Instead, Seungkwan helps him up to his feet and rubs his back.

“Let’s talk later, hyung,” is what he says. “For now, let’s go back to the group and pack up."

With a sigh, Soonyoung nods and listens, feeling slightly warm from the comfort the omega provides. They walk back into the diner together, mood heavy with tension. They don’t say anything when they sit down, and Soonyoung doesn’t have the confidence to look at anyone.

“I assume you couldn’t get a hold of anyone,” Seungcheol finally says after a moment of silence. “We can’t do much about the situation for now, so we’ll head to Dangu. If we get more leads, we’ll follow through. For now, let’s just...try to keep our heads held high. Sound good?"

Affirmative responses sound throughout the table and Soonyoung has to refrain himself from shrinking into his seat. He wants to disagree, say that none of this sounds good, but he knows it’ll only add fuel to the fire. He’s tired and needs time for himself, and frankly, he doesn’t want to interact with anyone at the moment.

“Jihoon, can you call Namjoon-hyung in the meantime? Tell him what happened,” Seungcheol orders. “Other than Soonyoung, you seem to have a deeper relationship with his family than the rest of us.” He eyes Jihoon from where he’s sitting at the last part.

“Oh, uh,” Jihoon mumbles, trying not to seem startled at the request. “Sure."

“If there aren’t anymore concerns,” Seungcheol says, glancing around, “Let’s roll to our next stop."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol, do you know something?
> 
> Also, I just realized how out of context these codes can be, haha. 
> 
> So...this was a little more angsty that what I originally intended but oh well, enjoy these Soonhoon moments :) 
> 
> Anyway, I’m really thinking of taking next week as a mental health week, so I probably won’t be updating next Saturday. Nothing bad is happening, don’t worry. I’m just feeling a little more drained than usual, especially with my finals coming up. It doesn’t really help that the guy who likes me has been venting to me about his problems and how it’s “literally so difficult” to talk to me (o.o)? Oh well.
> 
> Please rest well and eat healthy. Take care of yourself, silent reader or not :)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> There’s a muted beep and that’s when Soonyoung knows the youngest leader had cut off his links. Sighing, he tries to make the worry in his chest dissipate but Seungkwan catches his dubious expression and falls back quietly to walk with him, turning his earpiece off.
> 
> “He’ll be okay, hyung,” Seungkwan murmurs with a reassuring smile.
> 
> Turning his earpiece off as well, Soonyoung nods. “I know he will. It’s just — I’m in a really difficult situation right now. It’s...so hard to keep him at a distance."


	12. Foreign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foreign  
/ˈfôrən/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. strange and unfamiliar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah, everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful day and all the things good in the world!
> 
> (Also, am I the only one who’s felt like Christmas was just sort of...mellow this year? It just doesn’t feel the same anymore.)
> 
> Although I did say I wouldn’t be updating on Saturday, I actually ended up falling sick (better now though), so that means double updates this week (meaning I won’t be updating this Saturday again), but I will be updating next Saturday!
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS**

**JULY 19, 2019 **

**Location:** Wonju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Dangu-dong

For the next hour and a half it takes to get to Dangu, the atmosphere is tense, even more tense than when they arrived to Yongmun. To Seungkwan and Seokmin’s credit, they try to lighten the atmosphere by telling jokes and being their over-dramatic selves, and it works for the first half hour until they fall into the same tense silence. There’s barely any talking and when there is, it’s usually quick and straightforward. It makes the ride seem longer than it really is and the air is painfully awkward to be in.

During the duration of their travel, Soonyoung can’t help but worry for his family. Every twenty minutes, he’d try to reach his mother or his sister over and over again but to no avail. Nobody picks up his calls or responds to his texts and it’s not doing anything to quell his anxiety. Thinking back to the lobby and when Jihoon called his mother, he can’t help but think how strange it was for someone to pick up when the younger had dialed. Surely his mother would respond to him first ― her own son, instead of answering Jihoon.

Speaking of Jihoon, the younger had called Namjoon in the first ten minutes, explaining the situation and what had happened. To Soonyoung, it seemed like decades until the younger had hung up and told them that Namjoon-hyung will send his team out to Maseok as soon as he can. Hongjoong would take his team to Gwangju. That also didn’t do anything to help his anxiety. Although it’s nice to know that they had allies to help aid them on the mission, the thought of his family being kidnapped for who-knows-what lingers in the back of his mind.

He’d called his father once but ultimately hung up on the first ring when he realized what he was doing. He couldn’t, under any circumstance, tell his father what’s going on. He’s in the business, for crying out loud. Explaining that to his father would be a whole other level he doesn’t think he wants to reach and even then, how would he explain the possibility that his family might be kidnapped?

Soonyoung keeps to himself for the rest of the ride after that and doesn’t speak to anyone unless it’s to answer questions specifically aimed towards him. Other than that, everyone leaves him alone. If he were in high school, he would be the emo kid that sits in the back of the bus and he might as well be with how dark his thoughts are becoming. He tries not to dwell too much on it though and instead, stares out the window until their surroundings start to becoming unfamiliar.

“Dangu in about ten minutes,” Seungcheol calls from the front. “Apparently, a fire is either going to be started today or tomorrow, right?"

“Since Soonyoung and Chan both killed the men in Mugan before they could start the fire, I’d say the fire in Dangu might start today,” Wonwoo concludes. “Unless, of course, this Seongjee guy has more guys coming up to Mugan."

“We killed them, hyung,” Chan shakes his head. “The guys coming up to Mugan, I mean. One of those bastards was the one who shot Soonyoung-hyung."

“We have to work quickly for this one then,” Seungcheol says, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “Dangu is a pretty big place too."

“Wait, but hyung,” Mingyu interferes, looking confused. “Do we even know where they’re going to create the next fire? Like you said, Dangu is a pretty big subdivision but unless Soonyoung-hyung’s team didn’t tell us, we have no idea where the specific location is. They could be anywhere."

“Mingyu-hyung is right,” Hansol says thoughtfully. “Plus, Dangu has a lot of apartment complexes there. It might be best if we split up into our teams for this one."

“I agree with Hansol,” Jeonghan hums. “We can cover more ground that way and it’s not like we’d be too exposed. Since Dangu is big, we’d blend right in. We can take our earpieces with us and small weapons. Unless the fire suddenly decides to erupt, we won’t know where to go specifically."

“That’s not a bad idea,” Seungcheol says thoughtfully as they enter the region. “Okay, sounds like a plan, everyone agree?"

“I think we should mix ourselves up instead of going in our regular teams,” Seokmin suggests. “I mean, we all specialize in different areas, it would be better with an all-rounded group, especially since Dangu is so big. Or, I mean, you could also disregard my idea, that’s fine too."

“No, I think Seokmin has a point,” Joshua agrees, smiling comfortingly at the younger. “I like that idea. Plus, it would be a good bonding experience and we’d have a better idea of how each person works."

Seungcheol parks the bus in a random street near a school and turns off the engine. “Sounds good,” he agrees, standing up to open the compartments. “I’ll take the north side then. Jihoon, you’ll take east side and Soonyoung, you’ll take west. Just look out for anyone suspicious. I’ll need someone to watch the bus and be ready to pick us up if we run into trouble. If you have a lead, use the earpieces and remember the codes. It shouldn’t be too conspicuous, people will just think it’s some sort of new earphone model or something."

“Here, I’ll link them up,” Jeonghan offers, already linking said earpieces.

“What a coincidence, we’re all gonna look like a group of deaf people then,” Minghao says sarcastically.

“Start learning sign language then. It’s less risky than our phones,” Seungcheol shrugs, loading a hand gun. “Who’s on my team?"

“I’ll be on your team, hyung!” Chan says excitedly, hand shooting up eagerly as he stands up.

“Me too,” Seokmin adds, nodding along.

“Jun, go with Seungcheol-hyung’s team,” Soonyoung says, standing up from his seat and running a hand through his hair. “Make sure Chan doesn’t get hurt.”

Even though he still has the urge to go back to Maseok and Gwangju, he needs to focus on the mission at hand, to focus on becoming a good leader. He trusts Seungcheol and he trusts Namjoon and Hongjoong, and he can only hope that whatever is going on isn’t what they are expecting.

“Got it,” Junhui nods obediently.

“I’ll go with Jihoon-hyung then,” Minghao says, glancing at his leader. “You good with that, hyung?"

“I’ll be fine.” Soonyoung waves off.

“I’ll go with Jihoonie-hyung too,” Mingyu volunteers, smiling sheepishly when said leader glowers at him for the nickname.

“Me too,” Joshua hums, standing up and reaching for a knife. “Jeonghan?"

“I’ll be the bus driver,” said man in question answers, resting his face against his hand as he looks around lazily. “I’ll give someone from each team a tracker so I know your locations."

“Can we even trust you to be our ride or die?” Seungcheol teases.

“No.” Jeonghan grins. 

“If I’m dying first, I wanna go with Soonyoung,” Wonwoo declares abruptly, drawing a stir of light snickers throughout the bus.

“Hansol and I will go with him too,” Seungkwan chirps while said man nods in agreement.

“If nobody has any objections,” Seungcheol says, pausing for a moment before continuing, “let’s roll."

―

** SEOWON-DAERO **

** JULY 19, 2019  **

**Location:** Wonju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Dangu-dong

Soonyoung exhales warmly into his hand in an attempt to get some heat against the cold air of Wonju but it’s useless. It’s only been ten minutes since he and his new team have walked around, but his face is about to fall off due to how cold it is. Unfortunately, because he’s in the mafia, it would be troubling to work in such heavy clothes like coats and scarfs, so he’s stuck dressed with just a hoodie and jeans; not ideal.

“Any sign?” Seungcheol’s voice rings through the earpiece.

“Nothing yet,” Hansol answers swiftly. Beside him, Wonwoo nods along in an attempt to look like they’re having a conversation.

“Nothing in our division either,” Joshua replies. “1004, you driving?"

“Yup,” Jeonghan responds. “I’m driving on the south side. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary though, no burning buildings, no people crying for help. I don’t know. I’ll tell you if I see anything though and hopefully, I’ll be ready to pick you guys up if you need it.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure, there’s no rush,” Jihoon says sarcastically. “We’ve got all the time in the world."

Soonyoung can’t help but shake his head at Jihoon’s humor but he doesn’t say anything and continues walking. 

“Hyung.” Chan’s voice comes in, slightly whining. “I’m too young to die, I hope you know that. I have a whole life to live."

“So do I,” Jeonghan snorts. “But look, we’re here and still in this business."

“At least we’re all in this together,” Wonwoo speaks up.

Soonyoung pipes up, unable to resist teasing his friend. “Shut up with your High School Musical crap."

Wonwoo turns around and gives him the finger. “It was a good show — "

“Not to disrupt your childhood TV show reminiscence,” Minghao huffs through the line, “but I think we have a lead. There’s smoke coming from a distance so we’re gonna go ahead and investigate it."

Upon hearing that, Seungcheol orders, “1004, drive to Woozi’s location but keep a good distance. They might be starting that fire sooner than we expected. Woozi and his team, be careful going in the building. It’s most likely the gang has already fled if the fire started, but consider the possibility of people calling firefighters. Cheonsa, send us their location."

“On it,” Jeonghan replies and not too long after, Soonyoung’s phone vibrates, signaling he sent the message. 

“Understood,” Jihoon affirms. “I’m cutting off all links in the meantime. Talk to Jisoo-hyung if you need me on the line."

There’s a muted beep and that’s when Soonyoung knows the youngest leader had cut off his links. Sighing, he tries to make the worry in his chest dissipate but Seungkwan catches his dubious expression and falls back quietly to walk with him, turning his earpiece off.

“He’ll be okay, hyung,” Seungkwan murmurs with a reassuring smile.

Turning his earpiece off as well, Soonyoung nods. “I know he will. It’s just — I’m in a really difficult situation now. It’s...so hard to keep him at a distance."

Seungkwan’s smile falters. “When are you going to tell him?” he asks quietly. “You can’t keep him in the dark for long, and you’ve already fought with him earlier at the diner. He’s going to know sooner or later and then what? What are you going to tell him — that you’ve wanted to protect him all along? That you thought distancing yourself to the point where you nearly break your bond would help him? Look at you guys now, hyung. Think about how ridiculous you’d sound."

Soonyoung gnaws on his lip as he watches Wonwoo and Hansol talk to each other just a few feet in front of them. 

“I’ll tell him eventually,” is what he says. “I don’t know when, but I will. You know we’re — " His voice drops even lower, “ — we’re both being targeted at this point, but instead of being straightforward about it, someone is targeting Ji — Woozi to target me indirectly. Think about how ridiculous that sounds. If this person was to target me only, they wouldn’t need Woozi. Whoever this person is, they know."

Seungkwan stays silent for a moment, then says, “What are you gonna tell hyung if he ends up finding out? He’s going to be pissed that  that’s  the reason you distanced yourself."

The leader sighs. “I’ll tell him the truth. He might be mad for a little while but he’ll understand.” He looks at the younger and nudges his arm. “Let’s room together next time we grab a hotel. I’m really itching to find this son of a bitch."

Seungkwan’s lips curl up. “Okay, hyung."

“Hey!” Wonwoo calls from in front of them, ceasing their conversation. “Since you guys turned off your earpieces, S.Coups-hyung said we need to hurry. He said he just saw a firetruck on the way there."

“We’ll talk later, hyung,” Seungkwan says, a little apologetically. “Let’s just get through this as soon as possible."

Soonyoung nods in agreement and turns his earpiece back on, being immediately bombarded with conversation from the other teams.

“ — getting there soon,” Seungcheol’s voice rings. “How’s it looking, Jisoo?"

“We’re in the building now,” Joshua answers. “Trying to search really quick though. There’s people evacuating as we speak and there’s probably more inside. We’ll try get as many people out as possible but it might hinder with our own objective. We can hear the sirens coming. 1004, you there?"

“Almost there,” Jeonghan responds. “Just a few miles away."

“Get the people out,” Seungcheol demands. “That’s your first priority. Worry about information later."

“Hyung, I know our priority is people first,” Mingyu says lowly, “but information is kind of needed at this point. The only information we’ve gotten so far has only lead up to here and we have no other leads. We need to find the next location soon."

Over the link, Soonyoung hears the other leader sigh. “Okay, okay. Go duo. Two of you help evacuate the people, the other two search."

“Yes, hyung,” Mingyu says. “We’ll work as quick as possible."

“I’m a block away from the area,” Jeonghan interrupts. “I saw the firefighters not too long ago, so they’ll be there soon."

“Copy,” Joshua says.

The line goes quiet for a moment and from where he’s walking, Soonyoung can see a big cloud of smoke in the distance, the faint sound of sirens piercing the air along with the distant cries of civilians. The people around them are looking at the smoke worriedly, whispering quietly as they pass them.

For a moment, everything feels weird to Soonyoung. He could’ve been one of those people, one of the many  normal  people in the world. He could be that woman putting on a mask on her child. He could be that construction worker who’s seemingly unbothered by the whole thing. He could be that waiter in the little restaurant closing the doors to prevent any air pollution from getting in, but instead, he’s a mafia leader who’s probably just as confused as everyone else about what the hell is going on.

It's times like these where he’d wonder what his life would be like living normally. Maybe he would’ve lived his dream as a choreographer, someone who dances their heart out. Maybe he would’ve had normal family connections, no five-year contract nonsense. Maybe...maybe he and Jihoon wouldn’t have fallen apart. Maybe then —

“Hyung, we need to move,” Hansol calls, his pace increasing rapidly the more they walk. “We’re wasting time."

Seungkwan tugs Soonyoung's arm gently. “Come on. Think about him later. Get your head in the game, hyung."

Soonyoung snaps out of his wandering thoughts and blinks rapidly. Sighing, he nods in agreement and can’t help but think about how oddly casual he feels despite the fire burning just a few blocks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m also kind of disappointed with this chapter. The ending was supposed to be eerie, oops. But not to worry - this is just the calm before the storm :) 
> 
> Also, I really need to catch up on writing more drafts because I’m actually running out of chapters to post. (Yikes.)
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Sighing, Soonyoung walks to the door with his laptop in hand, ignoring Seungkwan’s dubious expression as he opens the door enough for his face to fit. He’s greeted with a ticked off Jihoon, which ― not out of the ordinary. The omega has his arms crossed, fierce cat-like eyes glaring up at him in annoyance. 
> 
> “Here,” says Soonyoung flatly, shoving his laptop in the younger’s chest, “Use mine instead. You know my password, whatever."
> 
> Jihoon freezes at that, hands gripped tightly on the laptop and Soonyoung realizes his mistake a second too late.
> 
> “You...” the omega says slowly. “You didn’t...change it?"


	13. Perceive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perceive  
/pərˈsēv/
> 
> verb
> 
> 1\. become aware or conscious of (something); come to realize or understand.  
\- become aware of (something) by the use of one of the senses, especially that of sight.
> 
> 2\. interpret or look on (someone or something) in a particular way; regard as.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say, tbh. Although I do wish Seungcheol and Jeonghan gets the rest they deserve :( OT13 in 2020 please, especially with the tour taking up almost every other day of their schedule. OT13 SVT.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS**

**JULY 19, 2019 **

**Location:** Wonju-si, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Dangu-dong

“So did you guys find anything?” Jeonghan hums questioningly as he drives away from the onslaught of firefighters.

Jihoon sits down and waves his phone in the air with a smug look. “Took some pictures of a few files before the computer short-circuited."

The hunt to find another clue had been relatively slow. When Jihoon walked into the burning building with his team, he was half expecting the gang to still be in there, armed and ready for their arrival. He doesn’t know why, but this gang constantly being on the move makes him a little uneasy. Maybe he’s experienced one too many ambushes in past missions or maybe he’s just being paranoid. As trained as he is in the field of combat, his comfort zone stays behind the screen of the computer.

Instead of a gang though, there were other civilians in the building, eyes wide with panic as they ran around like absolute lunatics, coughing loudly through the smoke. Although Jihoon knows what their utmost priority should be, he had tried to find clues instead. When Mingyu had told him that Seungcheol had given them the clear to split up, he didn’t hesitate to grab Joshua’s wrist so they could search the area together. He’d left Mingyu and Minghao to help evacuate the civilians.

The whole building was one floor only, some sort of warehouse structure. It wasn’t big but it was enough to be considered a hidden base. Whoever hired people to be in their gang is apparently an absolute moron to choose such rookies. Jihoon had no trouble finding the files on a computer in a small room and had quickly taken pictures with his own phone just before the power short-circuited. 

When he and his team grouped together again, they had snuck around the back swiftly when they heard voices not too far from them ― presumably the firefighters and the civilians. They decided to take the long way to run back to the bus as inconspicuously as possible and now here they are.

“On your phone?” Seungcheol asks, almost disapprovingly.

Jihoon rolls his eyes and leans back against the window. “Relax. It was faster than writing it down, okay? Besides, it’s not like we’re going to get caught. I said the computer short-circuited, and it wasn’t like my phone was connected to it or anything."

Seungcheol clicks his tongue but doesn’t say anything else.

“What did the files say, hyung?” Mingyu questions, leaning over Jihoon’s seat to peer at his phone.

The youngest leader crinkles his nose at the sudden close proximity and goes to read what’s on the file but pauses. “These are all just a bunch of numbers ― Oh, it’s another code, goddamn. This gang really likes playing tricks, huh?"

“What kind of code?” Joshua asks, already grabbing a piece of paper and pencil. “Read it, I’ll translate."

“I thought it was Bifid at first glance,” Jihoon admits, eyes scanning his phone, “but now that I think about it, let’s try ASCII. Here, just look at the first picture. I don’t wanna say that whole thing, but the next few are some pictures and information on more miscellaneous deaths, another ASCII code, and then another binary code. Maybe another coordinate?"

Joshua chuckles at Jihoon’s laziness but grabs Jihoon’s phone and glances at the codes.

83 45 68 45 72 32 114 101 112 111 114 116 105 110 103 46 32 78 45 71 45 83 45 75 32 100 101 97 108 44 32 111 119 101 32 116 111 32 68 45 72 

80 97 115 116 32 89 101 99 104 101 111 110 44 32 100 111 119 110 32 71 121 101 111 110 103 115 97 110 44 32 85 45 83 45 71 

While Joshua gets to work on translating the ASCII code, Jihoon decodes the binary code.

00110011 00110110 10110000 00110001  
00111000 00100111 00110011 00110101  
00101110 00110111 00100010 01001110  
00100000 00110001 00110010 00111000  
10110000 00110100 00110000 00100111  
00110011 00110011 00101110 00110100  
00100010 01000101

Jihoon hums quietly under his breath as he mutters numbers. “Okay, someone write this down. 36, 18, 35, point 7, north. 128, 40, 33 point 4, east."

“33 point 4, east,” Wonwoo mumbles. “I got it. It’s in...Uiseong and if I zoom in...it’s a building in Habi-gil. I guess that’s our next location."

“They’ve made a leap from Wonju to Uiseong,” Seungcheol says observantly. “We didn’t miss anything, right? Surely, this gang would stop at least in Jecheon. They’re really giving me the chills from how fast they’re moving."

Before anyone can say anything, Joshua claims, “I figured out the codes!"

“What does it say?” Mingyu questions.

“The first one translates to 'S-D-H reporting. N-G-S-K deal, owe to D-H,'” Joshua explains, “and the second one translates to 'past Yecheon, down Gyeongsan, U-S-G.’"

“Past Yecheon, down Gyeongsan?” Jeonghan hums thoughtfully, fingers tapping against the steering wheel. “U-S-G? Does that stand for something? A place, maybe ― since it’s followed by Yecheon and Gyeongsan?"

“So this U-S-G place would be past Yecheon,” Seungkwan observes, eyes trained on the ceiling in concentration, “but down Gyeongsan?"

"Maybe they’re traveling to Gyeongsan?” Seokmin suggests from the front casually. “I can just vaguely remember the map in my head. If we keep going southeast, we’d reach Yecheon. Gyeongsan is the city next to ― "

“Daegu,” Seungcheol cuts in. “So U-S-G must be ― like what Joshua said ― a place."

Jihoon gnaws on his bottom lip in concentration as he tries to visualize the map in his head. “U-S-G...U-S-G...What location is Yecheon in?"

“Gyeongbuk,” answers Minghao. 

“Gyeongbuk...U-S-G...” Jihoon whispers to himself. “Well, we know it’s not Ulsan then ― Oh. OH!” His eyes widen in realization. “Uiseong-gun, right? The U-S-G stands for each syllable, and it makes sense anyway. Uiseong is between Yecheon and Gyeongsan, and Uiseong was encrypted in the binary code so ― "

“Past Yecheon, down Gyeongsan,” Seokmin says in awe. “I thought it was some sort of company name. Nice job, hyung."

Soonyoung purses his lips. “Okay, now that that’s out of the way, what about the other acronyms? S-D-H, N-G-S-K, D-H? What about those? Do we need to translate those more?"

Jihoon sighs, half in annoyance and half knowing that as much as he hates it ― Soonyoung’s right. The small victory he’d felt solving U-S-G dissipates almost instantly and there’s an almost hollow feeling of disappointment in his chest. He tries not to dwell on it though, tries to convince himself that Seokmin’s nice job, hyung is more reassuring than anything.

“We can assume S-D-H is a name if it says ‘reporting' right after,” Jihoon concludes, looking back at his phone, “and D-H might also be a name too if this S-D-H guy owes to whoever this D-H guy is. I’m not so sure what the N-G-S-K bit is but it might either be a place or person depending on how we read it."

“There’s no place in Korea that has N-G-S-K, right?” Seungcheol ponders.

“As far as I can think now, no,” Jihoon agrees. “It might be a name then."

“That doesn’t make any sense though,” Soonyoung argues, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “If we’re so sure that this S-D-H owes to D-H, then it wouldn’t be a name. It’s possible it would be under a place name or even a company name, just ― maybe not somewhere in Korea."

“What do you suggest then, oh-smart-one?” Jihoon asks sarcastically. “What are we gonna do, search up every company name in the world?"

The older leader lets out a huff of annoyance. “No, you idiot. Just type in N-G-S-K deal or something like that. Hack into the deep web to find it, I don’t know. It shouldn’t be that hard."

Growling, Jihoon glares at Soonyoung at the insinuation. “Watch your tone, Kwon."

“‘Ey, ‘ey, no fighting,” Seungcheol scolds. “We’ll figure it out when we go to Jecheon. We’ll book a hotel for the night there in the meantime before hitting the road to Uiseong and we’ll see what happens from there."

“Already, hyung?” Chan complains from the back seat. “It’s only 4 o’clock though."

“You know the rules, Chan,” Soonyoung reminds, reaching over the back of his seat to pat the young alpha’s hair playfully, “Mission first, fun after. I still owe you that free week when we’re done, don’t forget."

Chan perks up at the sound of that. “Aww, yeah!” he cheers. “I’m holding you to that, hyung."

From the other side of the bus, Jihoon watches silently at the little interaction, the shared affection between the two. He tries to quell the sudden burning feeling in the pit of his stomach at the sight. His skin crawls uncomfortably, but in an attempt to distract himself along with everyone else, he clears his throat and peers down at his phone again.

“Well,” he says curtly, clearing his throat again. “Since we’ll figure it out when we go to Yecheon, what about the 53 deaths and 6 fires? Sound familiar, Kwon?"

Soonyoung retracts his hand from Chan’s head and no, Jihoon does not feel a small swell of satisfaction in his chest at the sight. 

“From the briefing,” Soonyoung answers easily, “which probably means this whole thing ― the S-D-H and D-H guys, and maybe even the N-G-S-K bit is related to the deaths and fires. We just need to figure out those bits."

Jihoon nods. “Exactly."

Seungcheol hums in approval. “I’ll do some research tonight. If any of you get anything else, let me know so we can try piece together this puzzle. For now, who’s going to room with who?"

―

**HOTEL**

** JULY 19, 2019  **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

By the time the group arrives in Jecheon to settle down for the day, it’s almost 6 o’clock. The ride is smooth for the most part, with light chatters and jokes being shared among the members. The air is lighter than when they left from Yangpyeong and Soonyoung takes the time to relax, even if it’s not for long.

They settle into a hotel in a town called Yanghwa and realize how lucky they are when they book the  only six rooms. Granted, it’s a small town with not a large population and no tourists at all. The welcome was warm and accommodating and Soonyoung would be lying if he didn’t say he missed such a cozy atmosphere, much like his own home.

Speaking of his own home.

Soonyoung sighs in frustration as yet another voicemail rings through the line. He hangs up and throws himself face first on one of the two twin-sized beds, groaning. He’s been trying to call his family for the past thirty minutes but to no avail. Nobody answers his calls and  every single one goes straight to voicemail. He’s left many text messages, to which nobody reads or responds. The growing anxiety in his chest grows with every passing minute but what can he do? He’s halfway across the country at this point.

“Nothing?” asks Seungkwan, glancing up from his phone to look at the alpha.

“Nada,” Soonyoung sighs. “Nobody’s responding. I don’t know what to do now."

Seungkwan reaches over the bed and into his backpack, pulling out his laptop along with a few gadgets. “Why don’t we worry about them later? Seungcheol-hyung even said he called Bangtan and Ateez to see what’s up. Come on, hyung. We might as well start working on our other case."

Soonyoung stays quiet for a moment, knows Seungkwan is right. He flips himself over until he’s on his side and nods dejectedly at the younger man. “Okay. Let’s start."

The omega gives him an encouraging smile as he begins to type on his laptop, eyes trained on the screen. 

Getting up from the bed, Soonyoung lays down by Seungkwan’s side, leaning over to see better as continuous beeping sounds come from the speaker. The screen itself is filled with numbers and letters in what seems to be a random pattern to Soonyoung, but to Seungkwan, it’s probably ordered in an organized fashion. Seungkwan types in randoms and letters at lightning speed until a picture of Jihoon pops up on the side along with his personal information in a text box.

“They still don’t seem to be letting up on this case,” Seungkwan murmurs quietly.

Soonyoung peers over the younger’s arm to read the box, feeling the uneasiness in his chest grow the more he realizes how right Seungkwan is.

**NAME ** Lee Jihoon

**STATUS **Omega

**BIRTH DATE **November 22, 1996

**BIRTH PLACE ** Busan, South Korea

**AGE **22

**WEIGHT **53 kg, 116 pounds**  
**

**HEIGHT **5’5 feet**  
**

**KNOWN ASSOCIATES **  
** \- Family**  
\- Lee Youngmin (Father) - Alpha  
\- Lee Jihyae  (Mother) - Omega  
\- Song Daehyun (Considered father-in-law) - Alpha  
\- Kwon Minyoung (Considered mother-in-law) - Omega  
\- Kwon Soonyoung (Mate) - Alpha

**OCCUPATION **Music producer

“They know,” Soonyoung sighs, rubbing his face. “Whoever this person is, they know way too much. Fuck. Is there any way you can track this thing or translate the code to the place it was searched from?"

Seungkwan blows out a breath. “I’ve tried before, but I can’t guarantee I’ll find anything. The code is a little complex and there’s a lot of barriers. We also have to consider the possibility that the URL for the place might not even exist anymore. When I last tried to decode this, it was almost two years ago, remember?"

“Right.” Soonyoung blows a breath, shutting his eyes. “It won’t hurt to try again though."

Seungkwan nods. “Well, once I begin decoding, I can’t exit out of the screen, otherwise I’d have to restart the entire process again. Try not to be too much of a distraction, will you?"

Soonyoung sticks his tongue out at the omega childishly as the latter gets to work on decoding the numbers and letters. It’s quiet for a few minutes, with just the sounds of the clacking of the keyboard sounding through the room. Soonyoung has the urge to call his eomma again in the pathetic hopes that maybe she’d pick up this time, but before he can even think about getting up to grab his phone, someone knocks on the door harshly.

Stilling for a moment, Soonyoung and Seungkwan make eye contact, the resounding beeps of the coding ringing against the quietness of the room. There’s a beat, then two, then the harsh knocking comes back, more pronounced this time.

“I know you guys aren’t sleeping. It’s only 6 o’clock,” comes Jihoon’s annoyed growl. “Open the door."

Turning to Soonyoung, Seungkwan shakes his head frantically and gestures to the barely finished coding in the text box. He makes some sort of gesture, sticking out his thumb and slicing it horizontally across his neck that Soonyoung can only interpret as if we let him in, we’re dead. 

Clearing his throat, Soonyoung stares at the door and growls back, “Come back later, Lee. You’re not wanted here."

“I don’t give two shits if I’m not wanted here,” Jihoon says sharply with a hint of a snarl. “I need to talk to Seungkwan about the files and the acronyms."

Soonyoung and Seungkwan glance at each other again, a silent message passing between them through their eyes. The beeping from the computer sounds loud against the quietness of the room, disturbing their backup plan to make Jihoon go away. 

Jihoon isn’t oblivious to the noise. “What are you guys ― Are you decoding something?"

“No,” Soonyoung says immediately. “We’re...uh, Seungkwan’s...teaching me how to translate codes.”

There’s a pause, and beside him, Seungkwan rubs a hand down his face with a disbelieving sigh, shaking his head. Soonyoung gives him an apologetic look, smiling nervously.

“So...you’re decoding.” Jihoon’s tone is flat, unamused. 

“Translating,” Soonyoung insists. “We’re translating."

There’s a frustrated sigh from the other side. “Decoding, translating, don’t care. Let me in. If you guys aren’t going to help, I need to borrow Seungkwan’s laptop."

“Go use someone else’s laptop,” Soonyoung snarks, slapping Seungkwan’s thigh as an indication to hurry the fuck up. ”We’re currently using this one."

“Well, I wouldn’t have come here if anyone else would give me their laptop,” Jihoon snaps with another pound on the door. “Jeonghan-hyung and Joshua-hyung left theirs in the van, said something about not caring to do work at the moment. And Seokmin ― he forgot to pack his charger."

Soonyoung gnaws on his lip and rolls off the bed. Walking to his backpack, he opens it and grabs his own laptop, internally debating if it was a good idea or not. It’s not like he’s saved anything embarrassing, not that he can think about at the moment anyway. There’s nothing to be ashamed about but the alpha still feels a little apprehensive giving his laptop to Jihoon of all people, one of the most skilled espionages. If the omega was given the chance to hack something, there’s no doubt he’d do it.

Sighing, Soonyoung walks to the door with his laptop in hand, ignoring Seungkwan’s dubious expression as he opens the door enough for his face to fit. He’s greeted with a ticked off Jihoon, which ― not out of the ordinary. The omega has his arms crossed, fierce cat-like eyes glaring up at him in annoyance. 

“Here,” says Soonyoung flatly, shoving his laptop in the younger’s chest, “Use mine instead. You know my password, whatever."

Jihoon freezes at that, hands gripped tightly on the laptop and Soonyoung realizes his mistake a second too late.

“You...” the omega says slowly. “You didn’t...change it?"

Soonyoung clears his throat and closes the door a bit more, leaving half of his face hidden. “I had no time. Just...don’t delete any files, don’t look through them, don’t ― I don’t know, just don’t click on them in general. Now, if that’s all you came here for, you can leave."

Like that, the spell breaks. Jihoon’s lips contort into a scowl as he sneers, “Whatever, Kwon,” and with one last glare, he turns on his heel and leaves.

Closing the door, the alpha breathes out a sigh and knocks his forehead on it rather harshly. The throbbing is immediate and he lets out a groan, ignoring Seungkwan’s judging click of his tongue. He doesn’t know why he said what he said, knowing Jihoon will look at the files regardless. It’s not that he doesn’t trust the younger but rather, there are some things that shouldn’t be brought up and should be left alone.

“Jihoon-hyung’s reminded you how much of an idiot you are, right?” 

“Shut up, Seungkwan." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna write the whole trying to find the code scene, but honestly? I suck at action and I know I’m a little repetitive so I thought “why not just skip that all together?” From now on, I won’t write any action scene unless necessary. 
> 
> And if you’re confused about the whole USG, NGSK thing, so am I. Hehe. It made sense to me at the time when I wrote it and I don’t want to mess with anything in case it DOES make sense to me later, hehe. 
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Jihoon laughs, rolling on top of Soonyoung and molding their bodies into one. “You’re ridiculous."
> 
> “You love me."
> 
> And when Jihoon raises his head to look at him, he smiles, something soft and radiant and gentle, and Soonyoung is in love. He knows what that smile means, knows it’s something true and genuine. He can feel shivers running delicately up and down his spine as his own crescent forms on his face. His heart pounds in his ears when he realizes all the emotions he’s feeling, like he’s drowning in it, but at the same time, it’s not enough. It’s never enough.


	14. Injudicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Injudicious  
/ˌinjo͞oˈdiSHəs/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. showing very poor judgment; unwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since New Year’s is here, why not a fluffy, semi-angsty chapter?
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**APARTMENT A3**

**APRIL 18, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

Freedom.

It’s something Soonyoung’s been longing for, so close yet so far, something seemingly unreachable for him to reach in such a precarious business; intangible. He’s constricted by the chains of the rules in the industry, barely able to breathe. For most of his life, he’s been trained to restrain himself, to keep a low profile and to keep his mouth shut. It’s all in the good intentions of his appa, who lives with the fear of endangering his family. It makes Soonyoung feel guilty for wanting such a privilege when his own appa doesn’t have such an opportunity.

Then there’s Jihoon.

A beautiful flower, watered every day with love and affection. Jihoon is an enigma, a force to be reckoned with. He’s beautifully violent, passionate about the things he adores and a true devil to what he despises. He’s a rose with terribly sharp thorns, an entrancing fire that spreads, a kitten with claws. He’s the rose Soonyoung plucks, the fire that burns him, the kitten he cuddles. He’s dangerous and cunning, sly and quick, impatient and demanding, cold and aloof.

Soonyoung is stupid.

But Jihoon is his answer. He’s the closest to freedom Soonyoung is ever going to feel, the breath of fresh air when he swims to the top, the smell of home after a long overseas trip, the fluttery feeling in his chest when he realizes how much Jihoon loves him. He’s the air, the sea and the land; Soonyoung’s whole world. He’s all the colors in the rainbow: the blues, purples, pinks, reds; Soonyoung’s entire universe.

Soonyoung is stupid.

And when he catches sight of Jihoon napping peacefully on their bed, tucked in with his pillow in his arms, Soonyoung’s heart inflates. It inflates for the same reason he loves this man so much. It inflates for the reason he wants to run away, run away from the business and never set foot in it again. It inflates for the same reason he wants to protect his mate at all costs.

Walking over to his darling, Soonyoung leans down and presses his lips against Jihoon’s temple gently, letting them linger for a little longer. He savors the moment. There’s something inside him that’s telling him everything will fall apart soon. He doesn’t have a say in what the universe will throw at him.

_I’m sorry,_ he wants to say,_ I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. _

“...Where you go’n?"

Soonyoung pulls away slightly, just enough to see Jihoon’s eyes open just a slit to look at him. Though he’s tired — as evident from the dark circles around his eyes — Jihoon's eyes are twinkling at the sight of him, hazed and a little drowsy but loving all the same. Soonyoung feels familiar shivers run down his spine as he caresses the omega’s face gently, carefully, like he’s made of glass.

Soonyoung is stupid.

Warding away the negative energies he’s feeling, the alpha greets his mate with a generous smile, practiced and instinctive and everything fake. 

“Nowhere, just here,” he says softly, brushing away a lock of hair from Jihoon’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Had a nice dream about me?"

Jihoon snorts playfully. His lips curve up, his laugh sounding a bit slurred and slow due to his rather abrupt wake-up call. He shakes his head lethargically, but the sun is in his smile and the stars are in his eyes, and that’s all Soonyoung cares about. 

“You wish, Kwon,” Jihoon mutters, eyes fluttering closed again. “I only dream about pretty people."

“And who clarifies as ‘pretty people?'” Soonyoung hums, leaning closer as he lets himself get carried away. “Can you name someone?"

“I can name a lot of someone’s,” the omega giggles, eyes peeking open again. “Let’s see...there’s Kim Mingyu. Really handsome guy but I think he’s being selfish with his height."

They’re bickering, Soonyoung knows. It’s all harmless jokes and nothing more than a tease, but even that little reassurance isn’t enough to quell the green-eyed monster inside him. It’s feeding off of Jihoon’s words, the names rolling off his tongue that isn’t his, the knowing glint in his eye; he knows the affect he has on Soonyoung, can feel his emotions.

“Who else is handsome?” he insists. He wants his name to slip from Jihoon’s tongue.

Jihoon hums lazily, eyes skimming around the room. “I think Wen Junhui would be a close second,” he drawls, rolling over slightly so he’s laying on his back. “Really nice features and sharp eyes. He’s a little on the lanky side though. His limbs are like spaghetti noodles."

Soonyoung can’t help the snort that escapes him and internally apologizes to his teammate for finding Jihoon’s description of him funny. 

“Anyone else?” he questions, adjusting himself so he’s hovering over Jihoon, resting their lower-halves together to intertwine their legs. “Who’s the third?"

Jihoon stays quiet for a moment, then after a few minutes, he says, “He’s got really nice hair, soft and like a cotton ball. He has kind of thick eyebrows too. He’s gotten muscular ever since I’ve known him, really nice biceps too."

“Is that so?” Soonyoung asks with a small grin.

“Yup.” Jihoon nods, returning the alpha’s expression. “He’s a great leader too, knows how to keep his team in check. Pretty hot, if you ask me. You should see him training his team, a complete monster. He’s really soft around me though, so it doesn’t matter."

Soonyoung rests his chin on the back of his hands. “Go on."

“He’s really cute too, like really cute,” Jihoon continues. “His eyes disappear when he smiles and it’s so adorable. He’s funny also, tells the lamest jokes all the time to try to get me to laugh."

“Can I have the name of this person?"

Looking up at him, eyes twinkling with mischief, Jihoon asks, “You wanna know his name?"

Soonyoung nods, almost eagerly.

“His name is...” Jihoon pauses for dramatic effect, lips curling up, “Choi Seungche — Hey! Hey, I’m joking! I’m joking — Soonyoung!"

Soonyoung lets out a barely audible growl as he continues to nip at Jihoon’s neck playfully, fingers lightly pressing in the dips of his waist. The latter squirms underneath him, unfortunately unable to do anything due to their entangled mess of limbs, but he’s laughing and pushing him away with no ill intentions.

“Wanna run that by me again?” Soonyoung huffs, mouth working to create a small work of art on the column of Jihoon’s neck.

The omega sighs in exasperation, arms looping around the back of Soonyoung’s neck to tug him closer. “Of course, I’m talking about you, stupid. Jeez, you’re so possessive."

Soonyoung only hums, doesn’t find any faults in the statement. He pulls away and admires his work, just a little above the real mark. He plants a kiss on it, because he can and maybe he just wants Jihoon to smell like him.

“Okay, okay, get off me,” Jihoon groans, pushing Soonyoung’s face away. “Have you been off your diet? You seem to be gaining wei —  Ow — Soonyoung!"

“What did you say?” the alpha asks obnoxiously, crushing his mate beneath his body carefully. “I’ve been gaining what? This is all pure muscle, kitten. I’ve been keeping up with my diet, don’t worr — ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! OW! Jihoon! YAH!"

Rolling off his mate, Soonyoung covers the nipple that Jihoon had twisted, face turning into a grimace as he lets out noises of pain. The omega snorts, turning so he’s facing his mate, and there’s a wicked smile on his face as he flicks Soonyoung’s cheek.

“Your cheeks say otherwise,” Jihoon retorts, pinching said cheeks. “Look, all fat and squishy. You look more like a hamster than a tiger if I’ve ever seen one. Why are you even shirtless?"

At the question, Soonyoung grins teasingly at the younger. “Just so I get to see you ogling me like you did last time."

Jihoon scoffs but his ears are turning red as he shoves a pillow in the laughing alpha’s face. “Ogling? What is there to ogle? You’re so ugly, Soonyoung."

“Oh?” Taking the pillow off his face, Soonyoung’s eyebrows hitch up cockily. “Oh, is that so? Because if I do recall, you called me muscular, hot, and cute all without insulting me earlier. I sure as hell am not ugly if those words came out of your mouth."

Jihoon laughs, rolling on top of Soonyoung and molding their bodies into one. “You’re ridiculous."

“You love me."

And when Jihoon raises his head to look at him, he smiles, something soft and radiant and gentle, and Soonyoung is in love. He knows what that smile means, knows it’s something true and genuine. He can feel shivers running delicately up and down his spine as his own crescent forms on his face. His heart pounds in his ears when he realizes all the emotions he’s feeling, like he’s drowning in it, but at the same time, it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

“Can I be honest?” murmurs Jihoon, letting his head rest on the alpha’s collarbone. “I’m nervous."

“About what?” Soonyoung reaches up to card his finger’s through the omega’s hair, and when Jihoon lets a soft purr rumble in his throat, he thinks he can answer his own question.

“The mission."

Soonyoung’s hand stills.

_Oh. _

”Oh."

It’s not exactly what he’d been thinking, but it’s also exactly what he’d been thinking, more along the lines of dark crimson and a broken heart. He’s afraid too, but Jihoon is more confident than him, he supposes. He and Jihoon are two different people but bonded all the same; they don’t think like each other but their thoughts are always connected, somehow. 

“Yeah.” Soonyoung feels Jihoon’s eyelashes flutter against his skin as the latter closes his eyes. “I feel like something is going to happen."

_Or maybe we do think the same._

”Like what?"

Jihoon shrugs. “I don’t know. I just...I have a bad feeling."

Soonyoung can tell Jihoon is lying, he knows Jihoon is lying. It’s not the way he doesn’t look at him or how his voice had gotten softer. It’s the way he feels Jihoon’s emotions intensify, how strong his vulnerability becomes. It’s the way his breath gradually begins to get shorter, the way Soonyoung can almost hear his mind talking. He knows Jihoon won’t talk about it though, doesn’t want to seem weak. He’s afraid of being ridiculed, for making a situation seem bigger than it actually is.

Soonyoung takes it upon himself to take the first step.

“Can I be honest too?” he asks, and without waiting for an answer, he continues. “I’m just as afraid as you are, if not more."

Jihoon lets his chin rest on Soonyoung’s chest, eyes shimmering with wonder, lips parted in surprise. “What are you afraid of?"

Soonyoung huffs a laugh, eyes trained on the ceiling. “This is our first mission together — first big mission, I mean. Anything could happen in these types of situations, and okay — we’ve done our fair share of smaller assignments together, you know — like, robberies and illegal drug dealing, but this is our first big mission together. I’m...scared of the possibilities of what could happen."

He sighs. “I’m scared of failing Namjoon-hyung. I’m scared of letting everyone down. Sure, we’re working with Seungcheol-hyung’s team and we all share the same circle of friends, but that’s like adding more pressure because we’re all expected to know how each person works. I’m sure you have the same fear too — letting your team down, I mean. Just thinking about it makes me relentless."

“I know the feeling,” Jihoon agrees.

Soonyoung smiles bitterly at that. “Would I sound stupid if I said I’m scared of something happening to you?"

It’s quiet for a moment, the sound of their breathing the only audible thing in the room. Another beat passes, but then Jihoon repeats, “I know the feeling."

“I’m scared something will happen to you,” Soonyoung says again. “I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself and I know you can fly by missions like it’s nothing, but we’re bonded now. If I get hurt, you also get hurt and vice versa. We’d become a target if anyone were to find out about us, you know that, right? When we agreed to only tell our families, our friends weren’t in that agreement. It’s already hard enough to keep our relationship in the dark from them, much less anyone in the business."

“Yeah,” Jihoon concedes, then stays silent for a few seconds. He releases a sigh. “I wish we didn’t meet like this, in the business, I mean. There’s so much shit we have to deal with and not enough breaks for us. So far, we’ve been under the radar and I guess I’m glad, but I’m not satisfied. I want to — I want..."

“You want...” Soonyoung prods, carding his fingers through Jihoon’s hair again.

The younger looks embarrassed, laying his head back down on the alpha’s chest. “I want...” he says, voice growing smaller, “I want to — I want to hold hands with you publicly, you know? I want to hug you when I want and — and kiss you as I please. I hate acting like we’re nothing more than acquaintances in front of the group, like we’re only business partners. I know I may not...seem like it, but I want to be open about our relationship, but I don’t want my selfishness to put us in danger, especially you. Every time we’re apart, I can’t help but worry if you’re okay or not. I know we’re bonded and I can feel if you’re hurt, but the only reassurance I get is when I get to see you the next day."

Jihoon’s voice cracks in embarrassment at some points, but he keeps going. “I wish we met like a cliché story instead, like some sort of barista-customer interaction or maybe even, I don’t know, a flower-shop-tattoo-parlor thing. I know we technically met in high school but we barely talked to each other unless it was about business, and even that wasn’t a cliché enough trope."

Jihoon sighs. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that no matter what, we’re in this together, and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else regardless of who they are to me. I love you, Soonyoung, always will, and if something happens to either of us, I’ll be here."

Soonyoung covers his face with one hand, the other still carded in Jihoon’s hair. He lets out a quivering exhale because is Jihoon, cold and aloof Jihoon, really saying these things to him? He’s drowning in his emotions again, overwhelmed with his world, his universe, everything. He’s shaking, he realizes, from the amount of pure and indefinite love he’s keeping at bay. He’s holding himself back from just kissing Jihoon senseless and wishing he could grant his wishes: the holding hands, the hugging and kissing, the openness of their relationship, the cliché story tropes.

“Oh my god, you’re crying."

Soonyoung sniffles and _oh_. He hadn’t realized he’s been crying until Jihoon laughs.

“I’m not crying,” he denies, wiping his tears ironically. “I think I’m getting sick because I’ve been shirtless."

“Mhmm,” Jihoon hums unbelievingly but he chuckles fondly at the alpha, leaning up to press a fleeting Eskimo kiss on his chin. “I guess that means no kissies."

“What? No,” Soonyoung whines, gripping firmly to Jihoon as the latter makes a move to get up, “I’m joking. I was actually crying. I’m not sick, I swear."

Jihoon laughs harder at the blunt statement, knowing exactly how to get under the alpha’s nerves. Soonyoung, pouting in dismay, rolls them over and gingerly presses their bodies together, effectively preventing his mate from leaving him. Beginning his attack, he presses small wet kisses against Jihoon’s face, smiling when he feels his body vibrate with laughter as he squirms.

“I’m. Not. Sick,” he says, punctuating each word with an exaggerated muah! 

”Okay, okay, cut it.” Jihoon’s eyes have turned into those pretty half-crescent moons, canine teeth and dimples on full display.

Soonyoung feels the familiar feeling of being overwhelmed by his emotions and he can’t help himself when he presses another longer kiss square on Jihoon’s lips, feeling their smiles meld together. 

“You’re really something, aren’t you, Kwon?” Jihoon murmurs against him.

Soonyoung kisses him again. “Then I must be your most prized possession, huh?"

He laughs when Jihoon groans, the omega playfully shoving his shoulder in mock annoyance. “You’re such a dork."

“Your dork,” Soonyoung sings, nuzzling into Jihoon’s neck. “Love you."

And when Jihoon lets out an exaggerated exasperated sigh and cards his fingers in his hair with a grumpy _love you too, even if you’re stupid,_ Soonyoung thinks everything will be okay.

(Spoiler alert: it isn’t.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seventeen and Mamamoo’s performance: the perfect way to end 2019. Also, that HIT remix and choreography like, yes, Lee Dino gets the solo he deserves. (Also, Soonyoung singing Hannie’s line. I wasn’t expecting that, tbh.) OH MY GOD, THAT REMINDS ME.
> 
> KWON SOONYOUNG’S ABS AT KBS? HIS TRANSPARENT SHIRT? All the pictures...Ugh, he can’t do this to me.
> 
> (And no, I did NOT spend an hour saving pictures and rewatching their Shhh performance. I didn’t, shut up.)
> 
> Also, Happy New Year’s, everyone! Hopefully 2020 treats us better than 2019 did. 
> 
> Any questions for me to clarify? Please comment or PM me and I’ll try my best to answer (unless your question can be answered in future chapters; if so, I’ll ask you to wait).
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Now at this point, Jihoon should’ve been annoyed. He should’ve been pissed because what kind of shitty laptop does Kwon Soonyoung own? It’s definitely not outdated or anything old, and the controls seemed to have worked just fine. Jihoon should’ve been storming back down to Soonyoung’s room and demand to see Seungkwan again. He should be breaking Soonyoung’s goddamn laptop for the sake of its poor performance, but he doesn’t.
> 
> And he knows he shouldn’t be snooping around when Soonyoung was pretty adamant on telling him so. Privacy is something Jihoon has always respected. He’s always been a pretty private person himself, so it wouldn’t be fair to others if he took that away from them.
> 
> But for once, snooping doesn’t seem so bad.
> 
> Because the picture of Soonyoung and Jihoon together on their first date is staring back at him.


	15. Divulge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Divulge  
/dəˈvəlj,dīˈvəlj/
> 
> 1\. make known (private or sensitive information)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually thought today was Thursday but it’s Saturday. I really need to stop being a couch potato.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL**

**JULY 19, 2019 **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

_Stupid Kwon Soonyoung and his stupid alpha tendencies, _ Jihoon thinks to himself, frustrated. _Who does he think he is? _

He stomps back to his room across the hall, fingers holding Soonyoung’s laptop in a vice grip. A flurry of emotions swirl inside of him, angry and disappointed. He knows he’s been all over the place lately and he knows the reason. His pheromones have been just shy within his own control ever since he and Soonyoung had been in contact. It makes him uncomfortable, to know that he can easily lose himself if he isn’t careful, especially around a certain alpha.

Another flame of rage sparks inside him.

He stops in front of the door and steels himself. Taking a deep breath in, he exhales slowly and tries to relax his grip on the laptop. It had gotten sweaty in his hold without him noticing.

_Control,_ he reminds himself as he opens the door.

The room is surprisingly bare when he walks in. Poor Hansol had gotten the unfortunate calling of being his roommate but Jihoon thinks it’s better this way. He can rage in peace without the thought of his dongsaeng witnessing his tantrums.

Jumping on one of the beds, Jihoon opens the laptop and turns it on. Squinting at the bright blue light at the log in page, he stares at the empty white bar.

“You haven’t changed it, huh?” he mutters to no one in particular. 

And although Soonyoung did tell him the password hadn’t changed, Jihoon finds himself pleasantly surprised when he enters the screen on the first try. He ignores the fluttering in his heart; it seems to be doing that a lot lately. He’s not going to set himself up for heartbreak all because he sees a chance. He’d be a fool to even think about the possibility. 

Shaking his head, Jihoon opens up a browser to do what he needs to do in the first place: track down the codes. 

The room is quiet for the most part, save for the clicking of the keyboard. For once, Jihoon feels calmer. There’s nothing in the room that can set off the firecracker inside him and the room is peaceful to the point where he could probably fall asleep. 

Of course, that’s when fate decides to be a little bitch.

He’s decoding the binary code from earlier in an attempt to retrace where it came from when a repeated clicking sound bugs the laptop. It’s the sound where a key is pressed but it doesn’t go through, the annoying kind. He must’ve pressed the wrong button unconsciously.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Jihoon grumbles, “Shut up, shut up, shut up. Oh my god.”

He clicks everywhere on the screen and presses the space bar multiple times, but the computer seems to have a mind of its own. It lags and glitches, and all of a sudden, the clicking sound stops. Jihoon almost sighs in relief and goes to type in another code when he realizes the screen is frozen.

“Are you fucking kidding me ― “ Jihoon starts to curse, immediately stopping himself when the screen unfreezes and out pops up a bunch of folders. 

Now at this point, Jihoon should’ve been annoyed. He should’ve been pissed because _what kind of shitty laptop does Kwon Soonyoung own?_ It’s definitely not outdated or anything old, and the controls seemed to have worked just fine. Jihoon should’ve been storming back down to Soonyoung’s room and demand to see Seungkwan again. He should be breaking Soonyoung’s goddamn laptop for the sake of its poor performance, but he doesn’t.

And he knows he shouldn’t be snooping around when Soonyoung was pretty adamant on telling him so. Privacy is something Jihoon has always respected. He’s always been a pretty private person himself, so it wouldn’t be fair to others if he took that away from them.

But for once, snooping doesn’t seem so bad.

Because the picture of Soonyoung and Jihoon together on their first date is staring back at him.

“What the...” Jihoon whispers to himself. He’d taken a moment to process what he’d been seeing and even then, he still can’t fathom  why the fuck Soonyoung still has this picture. 

It had been their first official date together as a couple. Jihoon remembers the date clearly. April 3, 2015; the perfect time to see the cherry blossoms bloom. They had been dating for around three years by then, but responsibilities and duty called, making it difficult for them to have time alone. Being in a secret relationship had also been a thing for them and hiding it from everyone had been a separate mission in itself.

Somehow, though, somehow Soonyoung had managed to find the perfect time to take him to the cherry blossoms. Jihoon still doesn’t know how, but it seemed like everyone had been busy with other things on that particular day. He wasn’t about to complain though. He’d been excited and really ― how could he not when he’d finally be able to relax with his alpha?

They had escaped their flat early on, when the sun was still low and the streets were still empty. They’d walked there, clad in large sweaters and jackets and covered in beanies and face masks. It was a dangerous thing, walking without any form of protection but their gloved hands. Not telling their friends where they were going is just as likely to expose them if they did tell them.

And then they were there.

It had been beautiful. Everywhere Jihoon looked, there was cherry blossoms everywhere. Pink and white were prominent colors of the sky, sometimes whisked away into falling petals and scattered winds. It was truly breathtaking, unlike anything he’s ever seen before. 

He’d turned to Soonyoung then, but his alpha’s eyes were sparkling at the large pile of petals in the middle of the park. Jihoon didn’t have time to think when Soonyoung had tugged him excitedly to the pile, throwing the both of them in like children do in autumn leaves. Jihoon had ended up with a mouthful of petals but seeing the pure happiness on Soonyoung’s face had been worth the horrible taste.

He didn’t know how long they stayed there, playing with the cherry blossoms and trying out the food vendors. There hadn’t been a worry in his mind then that the possibility of getting caught was still there. He was too in the moment, too carefree to realize how much danger they could’ve been in. They’d probably looked very unusual as well: grown men in dark clothing and faces hidden behind masks.

But then Soonyoung had tugged him back in the cherry blossom pile out of nowhere and before Jihoon could protest, his alpha was placing a cherry blossom behind his ear. And _god,_ the look on his face had been so soft and loving, it shut Jihoon right up, because  wow, he loved this man with all his heart and his alpha had looked at him like he was an absolute gem.

Their next interaction had been short and quick but it made Jihoon’s heart soar all the same. Silently, Soonyoung had grabbed his phone and extended his arm, camera out and ready. Jihoon hadn’t been prepared but Soonyoung took the photo anyway. He’d pocketed his phone before Jihoon could ask to see it, then wrapped his arms around the omega with a content sigh.

And Jihoon let him, because who knows when their next date is?

Seeing the picture now sends another flurry of emotions inside Jihoon but this time, it’s the complete opposite of what he’d been feeling earlier. 

“Why...” he whispers to himself, eyebrows furrowed as he pulls up another opened photo.

This time, it’s a picture of Jihoon with his eyes closed and a crown of cherry blossoms on his head. Soonyoung must’ve taken the picture when he was napping.

The next photo he pulls up is a different scenery this time. They seem to be back in their old flat. He’s sitting on a stool, cup of coffee in his hands as he glares straight at the camera. There’s a video attached to the photo and before Jihoon can stop himself, his fingers click on play.

_”Jihoonie,” _ coos Soonyoung, bright and cheery.  _ ”Good morning, my Jihoonie." _

_“What the fuck are you doing?”_ Jihoon’s own voice comes, gruff and low. 

The camera shakes slightly. _”I’m recording you, of course! What else? You just look so cute in the mornings! My adorable grumpy kitten ― "_

_“I’ll show you adorable grumpy kitten ― "_

Soonyoung must’ve dropped his phone because he begins to wail in the background.  _ ”No! No, I’m sorry! Ow! OW! Jihoonie, I’m sorry! I’ll never ever call you adorable ever again, I promise!" _

_“And?” _

_“And I won’t record you anymore! Ah! Ah ― OW! PLEASE! I promise, it was just this once!"_

_“And?!"_

_“And ― And ― ? And I love you so much and I know you love me so much too that you’ll let me go, yes?"_

_ “Kwon Soonyoung." _

_ “OKAY! OKAY! OW! OW, JIHOONIE, PLEASE! YOU’RE THE MOST TOUGHEST AND MOST HANDSOME BUSAN MAN I’VE EVER MET AND I’M SO LUCKY TO HAVE MET YOU!" _

The camera shakes again and then Jihoon is watching his own face as he stares at, presumably, Soonyoung.

_”Tch,”_ Jihoon sniffs, then the camera switches and zooms in on Soonyoung, who’s lying on the floor in tears. _”Idiot. Kwon Soonyoung is an idiot."_

_“Jihoonie...”_ calls Soonyoung sadly. 

Jihoon hears himself sigh. _“I still love you, tiger_."

In an instant, the phone drops and Jihoon finds himself watching past Jihoon and Soonyoung hug, with the alpha wailing repeatedly a series of, _”I love you, kitten! I love you so much."_

The video ends abruptly, along with the unconscious smile that tugs on Jihoon’s lips. 

Groaning to himself, he adjusts his position on the bed and rubs his hands down his face. His heart is racing, because there’s  no way Soonyoung still keeps these pictures and videos if he doesn’t feel anything. There’s no way Soonyoung would still have these pictures after the two years they’ve separated. No. Way.

“What else are you hiding, Kwon Soonyoung?” Jihoon mumbles, clicking every folder that had somehow opened.

With every click of a new image and every play of a video, Jihoon finds himself falling deeper into the hole he’s created. Suddenly, he’s rewatching videos from the very year they’d gotten together. Suddenly, he’s analyzing old pictures and trying to find out what died between them. Suddenly, he’s looking for answers that can’t be found through the memories that they’ve created.

But then he feels his fingertips grow cold when he stops at one photo in particular. 

It’s a picture of them, illuminated in lights of the galaxy as they stare up at the fireworks in the sky. They seemed to be holding hands, dressed in hanboks that match the scenery in front of them. If he remembers clearly, they’d celebrated Chuseok together with their friends and family. Jihoon recognizes the blurry food vendors in the background, the bright lanterns and flags strung up. He remembers the bridge they stood on, and if he looks closely, Jihoon thinks he can see remains of tteokkbeokki sauce on their lips, a clear indicator of what had happened that night.

The thing is, nobody else knew of their relationship then.

_So why does this picture look like someone took it? _Jihoon thinks to himself, covering his mouth as he stares intently at the photo. _Who took this photo?_

He doesn’t know how long he sits on the bed, staring blankly at the computer screen. His mind is scattered completely, unable to comprehend  Soonyoung still has these. 

Suddenly, there’s a thrumming in his heart. Warm. It’s low and soothing, gradually growing bigger and bigger. For a moment, he feels...relieved. For the past two years, he’d tried to convince himself they don’t have a chance anymore. They were young and naïve and completely hooked on the idea of love in this messed up world.

The feeling is recognizable, then it isn’t.

Like a switch, he feels the relief turn into confusion. It’s a quick transition, and the thoughts in his head don’t help his dilemma. The confusion turns into anger, and that anger into something more.

_You lied,_ Jihoon thinks, fingers furiously opening the folders on the screen. _You told me bonding was a mistake, so why the hell do you still have these? You would’ve deleted them...you would’ve._

No matter where he looks, the folders he clicks, he can’t find an answer satisfying enough. The pictures of them taunt him, their happy smiles all but a mirage. He’s so close to the truth, yet it’s so far from his grasp. He doesn’t understand. 

That relief he felt just a few seconds ago burns. All of a sudden, he’s restless. He needs answers. 

_You told me not to look through these. But if that’s the case, why? _

He doesn’t realize how furious he is until he feels something wet plop on his arm. When he looks down, more wetness drops down. It doesn’t take an idiot to realize he’s crying. 

His head hurts and so does his chest. He inhales deeply, hand grasping at his shirt like he’s trying to take away the pain. It’s almost pathetic. Like he’s grasping on to that sliver of hope hanging high above him. 

He can’t keep going on like this, building himself up only to shatter like glass. He’s tired. He’s angry. Most of all, he’s hurt. Hurt that Kwon Soonyoung had denied any feelings after their fallout. Hurt that Kwon Soonyoung decided to hide this from him. Hurt that even after all those years of convincing himself he’s over Kwon Soonyoung ― he really isn’t.

_If I’m going to look like a complete loser chasing after that damn idiot,_ he thinks to himself, closing the laptop and pushing himself off the bed, _I want my answers._

He wipes his tears and tries to calm down. The restlessness is starting to creep up on him again, so he exits his room, laptop in hand, and begins storming down the hall.

_Maybe I’m an idiot too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins, heueuheuehuheu.
> 
> I also forgot to mention this last chapter, but if Seventeen does a concept like Egotistic, we’re all dead. 
> 
> (Also, I may or may not be working on a new fic. 8K words so far. Strippers, kinks ― oops.)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Hoonie,” Soonyoung mumbles against his collarbone, lips brushing against his skin. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that we’re in this together."
> 
> Jihoon doesn’t comment on the sudden sincere words, instead wrapping his limbs around his alpha. He knows Soonyoung’s words are somehow influenced by something Seungkwan said during their meet-up at the café but he tries not to be too nosy. Soonyoung tends to overload when he feels pressured and the last thing Jihoon wants is for his mate to shut down.
> 
> “I know,” he says instead, arms curling tighter around his alpha. “I trust you."


	16. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith  
/fāTH/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Next chapter will be a rollercoaster. 
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**APARTMENT A3**

**MAY 5, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

If there is one thing Soonyoung prioritizes most in his life, it’s Jihoon’s safety. Everyday, he carries the burden of worrying about the omega, about his whereabouts and what he’s doing. It’s natural, he supposes, to be concerned about someone you care about. However, it’s not just because they’re mates. He knows Jihoon can carry himself, can handle his own fights and battles. He knows how strong his mate is, both physically and mentally, and sometimes, he wishes he carried even half the amount of confidence Jihoon exudes.

More often than not, there are dangerous people in the industry they work in. There’s scammers and hackers and robbers and drug dealers that are bound to find a job in the business. if anything, Soonyoung thinks that’s a good enough reason to worry about Jihoon. His mate isn’t weak, not by a long shot, but JIhoon tends to overlook the simplest things, the smallest details, and looks at the big picture instead. It’s not that it’s  not a good thing, but there are times where the smallest details matter, and missing those details may be enough to cost him his life.

The little things count.

Soonyoung worries everyday, he can’t help it. He can’t bear the thought of something happening to Jihoon, but just as the omega is skilled, he’s also incredibly stubborn. Sometimes, it’s for smaller matters, like who washes the dishes that night or who takes out the trash. But there’s also the bigger circumstances, like which one of them will risk getting hurt fighting their enemies, or who’s responsible for interrogation that mission. 

So when Soonyoung has to leave for a meeting with Seungkwan alone, he tries to quell the growing anxiety he has building in his chest.

“Make sure you lock the doors, okay?” he mutters against Jihoon’s lips. “Don’t open the windows either. Don’t answer the phone unless it’s a number you know. If someone knocks, don’t make too much noise — "

Jihoon rolls his eyes and shoves Soonyoung away lightly. “Okay, okay,  eomma . Jesus, relax. You’re only going to be gone for an hour. I’ll call you if I need a prince charming. Now go.” He slaps Soonyoung’s bicep. “You’re gonna be late and you know what happens when you run late on Boo-Boo."

Soonyoung snorts and raises his hands to wrap around his omega. “Okay, okay. Jeez, I guess you really don’t want me here. Are you sure we don’t have to call Hannie-hyung — "

“Oh my god,” Jihoon groans, attempting to pull away from his grasp. “I’m not a baby, Soonyoung. I don’t need a baby-sitter. You’re being anxious for no reason."

Soonyoung sighs and lets Jihoon go. He knows he’s being overdramatic, but he can’t help it. With their first big mission coming in the span of just a week, he’s been on edge lately. There’s a sense of nervousness he feels every time he thinks about it and it’s been a consistent emotion that’s made its home inside his chest. His mind is probably playing tricks on him, acting scenarios that don’t and shouldn’t exist.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, only half apologetic as he puts on his cap and slips into his shoes. “Okay, I’m going. I’ll see you later. I’ll be back in ― "

“Soonyoung."

“Okay, okay,” Soonyoung laughs, twisting the doorknob open. “I love you, kitten!"

He watches Jihoon’s face melt into a smile, love rushing through his veins. “Love you too, tiger."

―

**CAFÉ SECOND LIFE**

**MAY 5, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

Soonyoung gets to the café within a ten-minute drive. Second Life is a cute little café, a warm brown painted on the walls and window sills decorated with pretty pastel flowers. The inside is more pleasingly aesthetic, grapevines intertwined with fairy lights hanging from the ceiling and furniture giving off a very homey aesthetic. He’ll need to remind himself to take Jihoon there on their next date.

“Hyung! Over here!” a voice calls from the back, and when he looks up, a bright-eyed yet wary Seungkwan beckons him over to a booth by a wall in the corner. He has his backpack next to him, giving Soonyoung limited options on what they have yet to talk about.

He walks towards him and takes a seat across. “Hey, nice place you chose. I’m glad you didn’t try to lure me into an alley way."

Seungkwan laughs, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Not this time,” he says, shaking his head. “How are you? And Woozi-hyung? You and Woozi-hyung? Everything good?"

“Of course, we are.” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at the their code names being used, but he doesn’t say anything. “He rejected my kisses earlier and he practically kicked us out of our apartment, so you can tell everything is completely normal."

Seungkwan laughs again. “Sure, normal. That sounds like him, alright. I got you some banana milk, by the way. You’ll need it."

Soonyoung quirks an eyebrow, noticing the yellow milk bottle in front of him. “What makes you say that?” he questions, but takes a sip anyway because who doesn’t love banana milk?

The look on Seungkwan’s face turns into something more serious, and Soonyoung doesn’t think he’s seen such a grim look on the omega’s face in a long time. Seungkwan is known to be one of the most bubbliest members in their friend circle, so when he isn’t laughing, he means business. Soonyoung hopes the situation isn’t as bad as he’s thinking now.

“I found something out a few days ago while I was trying to conceive what RM-hyung sent me,” Seungkwan says, voice dropping into nothing but a murmur. “It concerns Woozi-hyung, but I think the situation somewhat revolves around you more."

Pursing his lips, Soonyoung feels his eyebrows furrow. “What situation?"

The café is a little over half full for the most part, save for a couple of empty stools by the window and the two tables that are being cleaned by two employees. Despite everyone being distracted, they’re far from being safe in the eyes of the public; code language won’t be enough to hide them. 

Seungkwan stands up suddenly, walking away, and it takes Soonyoung half a second to realize he’s going to the bathroom. The omega jerks his head towards it, indicating to  follow me before he disappears behind the door. Soonyoung waits a couple of moments, looks around discreetly while mindlessly sipping on his banana milk. When he’s sure he’s acted casual enough, he follows Seungkwan’s trail and enters the bathroom, locking it behind him.

“We need to be quick,” Seungkwan speaks up, bending down to retrieve his laptop. “Whatever you do, do not speak until I’m done. No questions until the end, got it?"

Soonyoung quirks an eyebrow at the demand but nods. “Affirmative."

Seungkwan types quickly, fingers moving across the keyboard at a rapid pace before he flips the laptop towards Soonyoung, practically shoving it in his face.

Blinking, Soonyoung rears back a little to let his eyes focus on the screen. It takes his mind a few seconds to process what’s in front of him, but the image opened makes him simultaneously confused yet worried. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of his stomach but when he opens his mouth, Seungkwan is already glaring at him. He shuts it instantly, waiting.

“Like I said,” Seungkwan says lowly, “I found something out while I was _trying to conceive_ what RM-hyung sent me from the Devil’s deal in Nagasaki. He wanted us to find out what the deal was about and what they were sacrificing. The one I had had different cryptographs, which is unusual for a code. When I translated the whole thing, a picture of Woozi-hyung popped up, but if you look at the bottom, some of his info is typed out. Full name, occupation, associates ― all there. There were more pictures of him that popped up while I was _trying to conceive_ but I screen-shotted this one only specifically for this reason."

Soonyoung still isn’t following and his confusion must be obvious on his face because Seungkwan sighs.

“Here, look, there’s a picture of you here too,” he says, opening up another file and sure enough, a picture of Soonyoung pops up. “Notice that everyone in the background is blurred out except you. There’s a code: z-n-g-r, b-z-r-t-n. It’s the reflect method, hyung. It translates to 'mate, omega.'"

“I’m not an omega though,” Soonyoung says, the rule of no speaking flying out the window. “Wait, this isn’t what the encryption translated to?"

Seungkwan shakes his head. “It was, but the pictures and codes came from a different server. I don’t think it was meant to come from what I translated. Hyung, they’re referring to Woozi-hyung."

Soonyoung suddenly feels the uneasiness in his stomach become worst. “So these people...whoever is behind the screen...they’re targeting Woozi?"

“I think so.” Seungkwan nods.

“How am I involved?"

“Look, hyung.” Seungkwan gestures to the picture of his face again. “Everyone else’s faces are blurred out except for yours. The code underneath translates to 'mate, omega,' which refers to Woozi-hyung. Whoever this person is, they know you two are involved with each other. I don’t know how, but they know. Hyung ― "

“Wait, wait, wait,” Soonyoung interrupts, rubbing his hands over his face. “Give me a minute. I don’t think my brain caught up. You said ― you said someone knows about us?"

Nodding silently, Seungkwan purses his lips. “I don’t know who."

Soonyoung remains quiet for a moment, leaning against the wall as he stares up at the blaring lights. He’s speechless. He doesn’t know what to say. He knew the consequences he’d face if he were to ever become romantically involved with someone within the business, but he’d tried to convince himself that nothing would happen, foolishly so.

“I think there’s more, hyung,” Seungkwan murmurs.

Soonyoung almost groans. “What do you mean?"

He looks the omega in the eye and when he sees the seriousness on his face, he feels chills run down his spin as Seungkwan utters the next words.

“Someone’s targeting Woozi-hyung to hurt you."

―

** APARTMENT A3 **

**MAY 5, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

When Jihoon hears the door open after an hour and a half of staying home alone, he almost sighs in relief. He’s had nothing to do within the time that Soonyoung has been gone and he’s just waiting to be bugged to death by his mate. He doesn’t move from his spot on the bed, but after a few seconds with no obnoxious greeting like _Hoonie, I’m home, come give me my kiss_ or _yeobo, I’m back, did you miss me,_ he frowns, sitting up apprehensively.

Silently, he slips out of his wonderful nest and quietly pads to the door, poking his head out. He sees his alpha’s figure standing by the kitchen counter, back faced towards him. He has half a mind to spook Soonyoung, then he notices how stiff and tense his mate is. His frown deepens when he feels frustration course through his body in hot pulses, mixed with exhaustion and the slightest hint of anxiety.

He’d felt the frustration around an hour ago and at first, he’d been confused. He was sure he was in a good mood but that all came crashing down at the sudden feeling of the intense emotion. He’d never felt such an animosity towards something, or someone, before. He can only imagine how the meeting with Seungkwan went.

He silently pads behind his mate in an effort not to startle him. “Soonie?” he questions lightly. “What happened, tiger?"

Placing a hand on Soonyoung’s upper back, he frowns when he hears a sudden sharp inhale from the alpha. The frustration wells up inside him again but this time, it’s laced heavily with worry. He leans forward and tilts his head in an attempt to lock their eyes together but Soonyoung avoids his gaze like poison. Jihoon tries to ignore the small pang in his heart.

“Don’t worry about it,” Soonyoung says tightly, not meeting his eyes. “I’m okay, just...kinda angry at myself, I guess."

Jihoon furrows his eyebrows. A pebble of guilt strikes his chest, small and quick but he notices it easily. His alpha is lying to him, he realizes, and if that doesn’t tell him something happened in the café, he doesn’t know what will. It’s not like Soonyoung to lie to him, especially when serious circumstances are given.

“Why are you angry?” Jihoon asks instead, using his arms to lift himself up and seat himself on top of the counter, facing Soonyoung. “Tell me, tiger. What happened at the café? Did Boo tell you something to make you mad?"

“No, just...” Soonyoung pauses for a moment, seemingly contemplating his word choice. “I mean, he told me something...but his intentions were in good spirits, I know that. it just...wasn’t the best thing he’s ever told me. I’d rather not talk about it, it makes me sad just thinking about it. Sad and mad. Smad."

Jihoon raises his eyebrow and huffs out a laugh as Soonyoung tucks his face into the crook of his neck, nuzzling into his scent gland. Bringing his own arms up to wound around his alpha’s neck, he can’t help but think about what exactly Soonyoung and Seungkwan talked about at the café for his mate to feel ”smad.” From their close proximity, he can smell the slightest hint of distress emitting from Soonyoung so he turns his head and nestles his nose in the base of his alpha’s neck, providing a warm comfort. 

Soonyoung will tell him soon, right? He can guarantee that.

“Why don’t we go cuddle then, hmm?” Jihoon hums, playing with the ends of Soonyoung’s hair. “You’ve been stressing a lot lately for something we’ve been preparing for. That’s like putting yourself through stress twice. I think we could both use some relaxation anyway."

“Really?” Soonyoung looks at him, eyes shining with appreciation, and Jihoon feels the frustration in his chest quell down. “Can we?"

Jihoon wraps his legs around his alpha’s waist and kisses the tip of his nose playfully. “Carry me to bed and I’ll consider being the big spoon tonight."

With no hesitation, Soonyoung carries him and practically flies to their room, eager and exhausted. Jihoon lets out a noise of surprise when he’s dumped on their bed, his alpha immediately curling on top of him like the five-year-old he is. If it were anyone else, Jihoon wouldn’t have hesitated to shove them off, maybe even hurl them out the window. But alas, this is his beloved alpha and now, he doesn’t have the heart to tease him.

“Hoonie,” Soonyoung mumbles against his collarbone, lips brushing against his skin. “No matter what happens, I want you to know that we’re in this together."

Jihoon doesn’t comment on the sudden sincere words, instead wrapping his limbs around his alpha. He knows Soonyoung’s words are somehow influenced by something Seungkwan said during their meet-up at the café but he tries not to be too nosy. Soonyoung tends to overload when he feels pressured and the last thing Jihoon wants is for his mate to shut down.

“I know,” he says instead, arms curling tighter around his alpha. “I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things:
> 
> 1) Question to my silent readers: how is this story so far?
> 
> 2) How’s everyone’s week going back to school? Don’t forget to take care of yourself!
> 
> 3) Would you guys read a Soonhoon stripper AU?
> 
> 4) Next chapter is gonna be a rollercoaster, just saying :) Tissues may be required.
> 
> 5) SEVENTEEN ON GOOD DAY AMERICA. SEVENTEEN IN NEWARK. THEM SPEAKING ENGLISH. (They’ve actually improved a lot!) SOONYOUNG DANCING WITH CARATS IN A RANDOM DANCE PLAY. 
> 
> Can you tell I’m jealous? :(
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “You’re saying,” Jihoon goes on, voice becoming louder, “that what we’re feeling right now...is the same as it was before Nae-ri happened, right?” 
> 
> Soonyoung doesn’t look at him, eyes trained on his laptop. “That’s not what I meant.”
> 
> “Then look at me,” Jihoon demands. “Look me in the eye and tell me that’s not what you meant.”
> 
> Soonyoung shifts his gaze until their eyes meet. It sends another spark inside him, seeing the raw emotion in Jihoon’s eyes. He opens his mouth, but the words don’t come out. His tongue feels heavy, weighed down by the truth. 
> 
> He can’t say it.


	17. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weak  
/wēk/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; lacking physical strength and energy.
> 
> 2\. liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it goes! (Also Happy belated Birthday to our Diva Boo!!)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL ROOM**

**JULY 20, 2019 **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

It’s almost one in the morning and Soonyoung is doing anything but sleeping. Granted, he’s always had a hard time doing so ever since Nae-ri, but tonight seems to be a night full of aggravation and restlessness. He doesn’t know what exactly is itching him, but it’s definitely something he can’t scratch. He’s been tossing and turning in his bed for the past four hours, burning more calories than he’s done while training.

Seungkwan, who’d gotten the unfortunate pick of rooming with Soonyoung, had left the room in search of Hansol. He had claimed he couldn’t sleep in such a zoo, but Soonyoung likes to think he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway if Seungkwan’s snoring is anything to go by.

They’d translated the code earlier after Jihoon had rudely demanded for a laptop. Unfortunately, nothing but the error 404 page was found, along with the growing irritation in Soonyoung’s chest. Whoever had information on Jihoon is doing a _damn_ good job at keeping their tracks hidden. Soonyoung isn’t pleased.

He sighs as he stares up at the ceiling, covers ruined and bedsheets haphazardly strewn about. Restless. Just the thought of not being able to find out the person behind the screen makes him restless. There’s no telling what these people are doing now, but he hopes he has enough time to expose whoever they are. He can’t lose Jihoon now that his family may be in danger.

A knock on the door snaps him out of his thoughts. Sitting up slowly, he stares at the entryway in bewilderment. Nothing comes for a few seconds, and just when he’s about to scold his brain into creating hallucinations, the knock comes again, much louder. 

He frowns and glances at the clock.12:52 a.m., it reads. It’s late. Surely, the hotel workers would be asleep now. He doubts Seungkwan would want to come back after his statement, so all possible suspects are ruled out. 

As quietly as possible, he reaches down the side of his bed and pulls his backpack up. Unzipping one of the pockets slowly, he grabs his pocket knife and slides it under his sleeve. Like a sloth, he places his socked feet on the ground and stands up, face scrunching up when the bed creaks loudly under the sudden movement. 

“I know you’re awake, Kwon. Put the pocket knife away, we need to talk."

At that, Soonyoung releases an audible groan and sets his pocket knife on the bedside drawer. He pads to the door and unlocks it, peeking out.

Jihoon is there, looking weary and emotionally drained. He’s holding Soonyoung’s laptop in a vice-like grip, knuckles white. His pheromones are leaking out, permeating the air in frustration and confusion, and Soonyoung only hopes this is worth his time.

“What are you doing here?” he questions, rubbing his eyes. “It’s one in the morning, Jihoon."

“You think I don’t know that?” Jihoon grunts, then peers past his arm. “Where’s Seungkwan? Is he in here?"

“He went to go find Hansol ― “

Before Sooonyoung can finish his sentence, Jihoon is shoving past him and walking into the room. He raises an eyebrow. He would’ve let the motion slide but it seems like Jihoon is antsy. For what, he doesn’t know, but he closes the door behind him anyway. The small skin contact is enough to get a small spark tingling down the base of his spine, his body reaching to Jihoon’s presence like a drug.

“What are you ― "

“We need to talk,” is what Jihoon says, interrupting him once more as he sets the laptop on the dresser across the beds.

Soonyoung feels a tinge of irritation creep up on him. On any other occasion, he would be more than happy to amuse Jihoon in his angry vents, but he’s tired, restless, and his patience is running on thin ice. It doesn’t help that Jihoon is cutting him off every time. It’s like the omega is passing his irritation to him, covering him in a cloud of annoyance.

He just hopes Jihoon isn’t going to ask about Nae-ri. 

“This seriously can’t wait until tomorrow?” Soonyoung questions, rubbing a hand down his face. “It’s late. We have a mission to focus on ― "

“I don’t give a damn,” hisses Jihoon. His voice is firm and though he’d been cut off _again,_ Soonyoung looks at him immediately.

The alpha sighs. “Why did you come ― "

“This.” Suddenly, Jihoon turns the laptop, and Soonyoung feels his heart drop. 

On the screen, there’s an encryption translated from a folder that had been opened. Green numbers, what Soonyoung can only interpret as binary codes, are scattered all over. However, that’s not what he’s focused on. There’s multiple files contained in the folder and opened up ― smack dab in the middle of the screen ― is a picture of them. 

Soonyoung remembers that day clearly. It had been four years ago and they had celebrated Chuseok together with their friends and family, going out to a local festival while eating traditional Korean food and doing dance rituals. He and Jihoon were practically inseparable as they went to all the booths together and stole each other’s food while slowly separating from the others. It had been fun, especially when Jihoon had playfully smeared some tteokkbeokki sauce on his lips, which only resulted in him chasing Jihoon until they were both kissing messily, sauce dripping between their lips and smiles too wide for them to stay together.

At that time, their relationship was kept hidden from everyone else. It wasn’t until they found their friends waiting for the fireworks by the Han River did the photo get taken. Seungkwan had come prepared with a camera and just before he snapped the shot, the firework show had begun, leaving Soonyoung and Jihoon in awe as they stared at the night sky, the colors illuminating on their faces.

The picture had come out dark, but the thing that stood out the most of all was them. Just them, staring at the sky with eyes wide and in awe, blues and purples and pinks highlighting their features. From the angle, it seemed like they were holding hands, and they might as well have been if it weren’t for their company. 

It was also how Seungkwan had managed to find out about them. Later that night when the young omega confronted Soonyoung about it, the alpha had made sure to swear him to secrecy, to not tell anyone he knew about their relationship, not even Jihoon.

It was, and still is, one of the most memorable moments Soonyoung treasures which is why he couldn’t bring himself to delete it.

And apparently, Jihoon had found it.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon speaks quietly, sounding terribly conflicted. “Soonyoung, what is this? Who took this?"

Soonyoung inhales sharply. “I told you not to look through my files ― "

“That’s not the point here. I would’ve looked at it regardless!” Jihoon exclaims, gesturing to the laptop. “Answer me, Soonyoung. What is this?"

Now Soonyoung has two options here: come up with some grand bullshit that’s probably not believable, or confess and admit the truth. He’s never been a good liar, could never act to save his life and frankly, he’s kind of intimidated by how scary Jihoon can be when he wants answers.

“This was four years ago,” he says slowly. “We spent Chuseok together along with everyone else."

Jihoon clenches his jaw. “Who took this, Soonyoung?"

“Jihoon ― "

“Who took this?” 

Soonyoung grits his teeth. “Seungkwan."

He watches Jihoon clench his fist and inhale sharply, eyes trained on the picture on the screen. It’s quiet between them and Soonyoung almost wishes Seungkwan had come back, anything to distract Jihoon from asking more questions. If there’s one thing he knows about the omega, it’s that he’s stubborn and he won’t stop at any cost until he’s satisfied with the answers given to him. 

“He knows,” is what Jihoon utters. “He knew about us all this time, didn’t he? Who else knows, Soonyoung?"

“Nobody does ― "

“Who. Else?” Jihoon levels him with an even stare.

Soonyoung's heart aches. He can see the way Jihoon is trying to be strong, trying to mask his emotions behind his cold exterior. But Soonyoung can read him clearly. He can feel the prickles of hurt and confusion. Jihoon’s eyes are wavering like he’s about to cry. Soonyoung hopes he’s wrong, but he thinks he sees a faint pink rimming Jihoon's waterline.

_He’s been crying._

Soonyoung maintains their eye contact, praying he’s not as showy as Jihoon. “Nobody else."

_I know you trust me when you look at me directly in the eye. You wouldn’t lie then. _

It’s quiet again, both of them unmoving. The silence is loud, making Soonyoung’s skin crawl uncomfortably. He can feel his heartbeat slowly escalate with every passing second, creating a growing fear he can’t quell down on his own. There’s nothing worst than the inevitable.

Jihoon looks away first, back at the screen. His voice drops to a murmur as he asks, “What does he know?"

Soonyoung walks towards the laptop and locks the picture back into its folder. His hands may have lingered on the keyboard for too long, and his eyes may have tried to memorize the image one last time. But that’s his secret to keep. 

“He doesn’t know anything ― "

“Tell me,” Jihoon says, almost pleadingly. “He knows about us, right? That we were in a relationship? What else?"

Soonyoung could never lie to Jihoon but he finds it ironic how a lie was how they came to be in the first place.  Bonding was a mistake. It’s like a broken record, repeating itself over and over in his head when he’s around Jihoon. He hates it. It’s a constant whisper in the back of his mind, reminding him of the what could’ve been’s.

He wishes Jihoon hadn’t been so in love with him then, to tell him that he’s wrong, that bonding was one of the greatest things that happened to him, to  them . He wishes he could go back in time and tell his past self that he was about to make the worst decision of his life. But everything now is set in stone. Soonyoung can’t fuck it all up now. He has to be careful.

“Jihoon ― "

“Did you tell him we bonded?"

“He doesn’t ― "

“Did you tell him we fought after Nae-ri?"

“Jihoon, it’s late, why don’t you just ― "

“Did you tell him we broke up?"

“Can we not talk about ― "

“Did you tell him why?"

The last question is like a bullet. Soonyoung falls silent, not strong enough to say anything. Or maybe he’s just being careful. A sensation, painful and sharp, attacks his chest as he closes his laptop slowly. Although he realized the effect of his actions long ago, the fact that Jihoon is here to confront him about it only seems to make the guilt worst. 

“You told him,” Jihoon accuses, voice wavering. “You told him why, but you can’t tell me?"

“It’s not what you’re thinking,” Soonyoung defends, turning to look at the omega. “It’s complicated ― “ 

He cuts himself off at the sight of Jihoon’s eyes. They’re moist and vulnerable, something Soonyoung hasn’t seen in a long time. Jihoon has always been a strong man, never one to beat around the bush or sugarcoat anything. But now, seeing him in this state of vulnerability is like a gut punch to Soonyoung’s stomach. He’s the cause of that.

“That’s what you said last time I asked you,” Jihoon says bitterly, “but lord knows you only avoid my questions now. How complicated could the situation be if you still have our pictures in your laptop? How complicated could it be if you still have my birthday as your password? What about your phone, huh? Is it still the date we bonded? My contact name? Is it still my kitten?"

The pressure begins to build. Soonyoung had tried so hard to avoid this situation all together but it seems like Jihoon managed to find a way around the barriers he put up. He never wanted this to happen in the first place, but hearing Jihoon say it like he’s being selfish hurts him. 

So he deflects the questions. 

“What about you, Jihoon?” Soonyoung shoots back. “Aren’t we the same? Your laptop’s password is my birthday, isn’t it? Our phone passwords are the same too, aren’t they? My contact name is still my tiger, right?"

“Don’t you dare fucking turn this on me,” Jihoon snarls, eyes dark and wet. “We are talking about you and why the hell you haven’t deleted those pictures."

And Soonyoung can’t bring himself to answer him. He’s a coward but he’s worried. He can’t exactly tell Jihoon, _”I didn’t delete them because I’m still fucking in love with you.”_ No, that’ll destroy the whole purpose and his own self-made mission of keeping Jihoon safe. 

So he deflects the question again.

“What’s wrong with having those?” questions Soonyoung, almost mockingly. He can’t have Jihoon in here anymore. “It’s just pictures, Jihoon-ssi. I told you not to look through them but you did anyway. I haven’t looked at them in years.” _Lie._ "Stop being sensitive. We’re not a thing anymore.”

All of a sudden, tears begin to drip down Jihoon’s cheeks. 

Soonyoung’s heart aches. His own words are a danger to him but most importantly, he can see the disbelief on Jihoon’s face. He can feel him hurting more, his words creating a bigger impact on the situation than necessary. 

_Careful. Be careful._

He needs to push Jihoon away, far enough that maybe he’ll walk out of the room. They’ll start the cycle of hating each other and mentally killing each other’s guts again. But he can’t risk pushing Jihoon to the point where their bond breaks. That’s not what he wants.

“Don’t you dare...” Jihoon’s voice trembles, shakier than before. “Don’t you dare tell me that like I never mattered to you, Kwon Soonyoung. I _know_ we had something. You think you can convince me you’re that much of an asshole to leave me after we bonded? I know you. You wouldn’t have done it without a reason."

Soonyoung’s heart burns in the worst ways possible. It still awes him how Jihoon can read him so clearly. But he has to keep going. It’s for the best ― for their future and their bond. Jihoon is like a firecracker. He’ll go off easily if you know the right things to say and now, that’s Soonyoung’s goal: to break Jihoon and push him as far away from himself as possible.

“Whatever we had is gone now,” Soonyoung says steely. “Don’t make things up to make yourself feel better."

He hopes his harsh words are enough to drive Jihoon away, but the omega is stubborn. He won’t back down without a fight, that much Soonyoung knows.

Jihoon breathes in shakily, the palms of his hands wiping furiously against his eyes. “Fucking hell, Soonyoung. Please, just stop being complicated. I want to talk."

_He said please. Just a little more now, Kwon._

“There is nothing to talk about ― "

“Then tell me why you still have these!” bursts Jihoon, face pink with exertion and eyes narrowed. He’s gesturing wildly to the closed laptop. “Tell me! Why is it so hard and complicated, huh?"

_ This is going to be trickier than I thought. _

“It just is!” Soonyoung snaps back, taking a step forward. “It just is, okay?!"

The room’s tension is so thick, he’s suffocating. There’s a fire in his chest, irritated. It’s only been something Jihoon could tame but seeing as he’s the cause of it this time, he doesn’t know what to do. 

_Just keep pushing. _

“So it’s complicated for the sake of being complicated?” Jihoon fights back fiercely. “You’re a coward, Soonyoung. Do you think I’m weak, huh? Is that why? Are you afraid to break me like you did those two years ago?"

Soonyoung’s heart is in this continuous cycle of hurting and breaking. Hearing Jihoon say that so easily, like he’d gotten over it long ago ― it makes the searing in his neck intensify. With every passing word and argument, he knows their bond is beginning to quiver, like feet on a tightrope. On the verge of breaking.

_Carefully._

Soonyoung’s jaw clenches. “That’s not why and you damn well know it, and if you’re so insistent on asking me why I kept those pictures, why didn’t you deny that you still have the same passwords? The contact name, huh?”

“I told you we’re talking about you here — ”

“No, no, tell me, Jihoon,” Soonyoung interrupts, “Tell me. If you’re going to be a hypocrite about it, then I don’t have to give you a fucking explanation because apparently we both still feel the same way — ”

He stops talking abruptly after that, brain catching up to his mouth. He’d just exposed himself on accident. A spark ignites in his chest, sharp and quick but very noticeable. The searing on his neck dulls considerably, like some heavenly deity up above heard him confess. 

Jihoon seems to have realized the weight of his words as well. That or he’d felt the spark too, because he stumbles against the wall, right beside the chair. His eyes are wide and filled with an array of emotions as he stares at Soonyoung, lips parted in shock.

_Shit,_ Soonyoung thinks when the silence stretches out.  _Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit ―_

“What...What the hell is that supposed to mean?” croaks Jihoon thickly. 

And Soonyoung knows  _damn _ well that Jihoon knows what he’s talking about, but as a last pathetic attempt to save himself, he answers, “Nothing. It means nothing.”

Of course, Jihoon doesn’t leave him alone after that. 

“That’s not it,” the omega whispers, voice like glass. “No. You said...you said that we both still feel the same way.”

“Jihoon — ”

“You called me a hypocrite when I asked about the passwords and the contact name,” Jihoon continues, eyes dripping with tears. “You said you don’t owe me an explanation when we still feel the same way.”

Soonyoung feels faint. “That’s not…”

“You…” Jihoon’s voice becomes noticeably shakier. “You’re implying before Nae-ri happened, right? When we were...when we were still together?”

The words strike at Soonyoung’s heart like lightning. It hurts so much more to hear it from the one he loves. The one he’d vow to protect and cherish for the rest of his life. He doesn’t know what to do now. Pushing Jihoon away again would prove useless because now he knows. He knows Soonyoung still feels the same. 

“You’re saying,” Jihoon goes on, voice becoming louder, “that what we’re feeling right now...is the same as it was before Nae-ri happened, right?” 

Soonyoung doesn’t look at him, eyes trained on his laptop. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then look at me,” Jihoon demands. “Look me in the eye and tell me that’s not what you meant.”

Soonyoung shifts his gaze until their eyes meet. It sends another spark inside him, seeing the raw emotion in Jihoon’s eyes. He opens his mouth, but the words don’t come out. His tongue feels heavy, weighed down by the truth. 

He can’t say it.

Jihoon stays quiet for a moment, noticing his struggle. Soonyoung hates how vulnerable he is, how weak he is when it comes to the omega. It’s like the universe is laughing at him, telling him that Karma is a bitch. 

“So I’m right,” Jihoon murmurs. “We still...feel the same way.”

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung sighs, suddenly feeling a lot more drained than before. “Jihoon, why don’t we talk about this later ― "

“No, Kwon Soonyoung,” Jihoon hisses, glaring at him. “We are going to talk about this now whether you like it or not. I’m not gonna have you run away this time.” He clenches his fists, voice becoming softer. “Tell me this at least: do you...still love me?"

Soonyoung holds himself up against the dresser, head bowed as he tries to regulate his breathing. He can’t get out anymore. There’s no way he’ll be able to avoid Jihoon’s question, so the next best thing he does is stay quiet.

But of course, Jihoon doesn’t back down.

“Soonyoung, do you still love me?” he asks again, sounding less confident this time.

Soonyoung blows out a sigh, slow and steady. He wasn’t kidding when he said Jihoon is stubborn. If he wasn’t so tired, he’d probably be just as stubborn, do everything he can to avoid Jihoon’s questions, but he doesn’t. He knows Jihoon is right ― he still feels their connection, but that’s something he can’t indulge him in at the moment.

Instead, he says, “Seungkwan knows everything. He knows we bonded. He knows we fought after Nae-ri, and yes — ” He looks at Jihoon. “He knows why.”

Jihoon falls silent, and Soonyoung takes that as his cue to continue.

“He knew the moment he took that picture of us. He confronted me about it that night when we celebrated Chuseok, so I told him. I swore him to secrecy though, to not tell anyone ― not even you ― that he knew we were romantically involved with each other, because we were keeping it from everyone. Even though we used blockers after we bonded, he still knew. He confronted me about that too, so I told him the truth."

Jihoon is quiet, seemingly processing the information. “And Nae-ri?"

Soonyoung sucks in a breath. “He knows. He knows the reason ― the reason I broke it off between us is because he found something out that ― I don’t know, it ― that something can put you in danger if we continued what we had. When I said nothing was ever your fault, I meant it, Jihoon."

“You think I care,” Jihoon begins, “if I’m the one in danger? Soonyoung, I’ve only ever cared about your safety! Have you ever stopped to think about that ― about how I felt? Do you know how fucking hurt I was when you told me bonding was a mistake? Why does it matter if this something gives me trouble when the most pain I’ve felt all came from you?"

“It matters to me!” Soonyoung growls, taking a moment to reel himself back when he sees Jihoon’s surprised look. “When I told you bonding was a mistake, I didn’t mean it in a bad way ― "

“Then what?” snarls Jihoon, glaring fiercely. “What did you mean, Soonyoung? You’re so fucking confusing, you know? And I’m sick of being lead on by you! I’m sick of us — of not getting the chance to talk to you about what happened and why you did what you did, but now that I finally have an opportunity, you dismiss everything like it never happened! You avoid all my questions like I’m joking...but I’m not, Soonyoung, and it fucking hurts."

Soonyoung’s heart cracks but Jihoon keeps going, passionate and fierce. 

“If you’re so adamant on not giving us a second chance for whatever the fuck your sorry excuse of a reason is,” Jihoon growls with a slight quiver in his voice that Soonyoung barely hears, “then why don’t you fucking reject me already? I’m tired, Soonyoung. I’m tired of you being intangible to me. You might think it’s funny but I sure as hell am not laughing. So do it. Reject me, right now."

Soonyoung hisses loudly at the sharp pain attacking his neck. In front of him, Jihoon flinches but doesn’t say a thing.

He knows for a fact that Jihoon does not say things he doesn’t mean, and hearing the omega practically tell him everything is over between him is like a knife to his chest, deep and lodged into his heart. Once you’ve been rejected, there’s no going back. He deserves this, he knows, but it doesn’t quench the burning pain he feels spreading throughout his body, searing his neck.

“I’m doing this for a reason,” Soonyoung says instead, but his statement comes out weaker than intended. “It’s for your own good, Jihoon. If you don’t trust me, fine, but at least trust me on that. I can’t explain everything to you now and I know you’re probably thinking that’s fucking bullshit but it really isn’t. Everything I’m doing, why I’ve been avoiding your questions, why I haven’t rejected you, why I haven't given us a...a second chance yet, it’s — I’m working to get it resolved."

Jihoon stays quiet for a moment, hands clenching and unclenching. Soonyoung can see how much he’s battling himself, whether it’s to just let the situation go or to keep attacking him with questions.

“I thought we were in this together, Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s voice turns quiet, low. “You told me — you promised me. You said — you said we’d work on a future together. How am I supposed to trust you when you won’t even tell me what’s going on?'

“I’m doing this for our future together, Jihoon,” Soonyoung snaps before he can stop himself. “We’re still in this together, whether you realize it or not, but what happened back in Nae-ri until today, it’s something I need to handle by myself. Like I said, you don’t have to trust me, you just need to trust that I’m still — “ 

His voice gets caught in his throat when Jihoon’s eyes snap towards his, wide with surprise, and if he isn’t mistaken, just a tinge of hope. He wants to take everything back, wants to tell Jihoon that he’s wrong, that everything he’s doing isn’t towards the benefit of the future, but for his own selfishness.

But he can’t, because everything he said is terribly, accurately, 100% true.

“You’re still...?” Jihoon trails off, voice soft and careful.

Soonyoung, despite having drifted away from Jihoon, can’t bring himself to lie to the omega. He’s already caused so much pain to him. He can’t bear to crush the last bit of hope Jihoon has in him, in  them . He can see it in the way Jihoon’s tense posture relaxes little by little, how his hands unclench and instead hang limply by his sides, how Jihoon is looking at him with those wide, hopeful eyes, filled with expectations.

Soonyoung can’t do it anymore.

“I’m still the same Kwon Soonyoung you fell in love with,” he admits quietly. “I’m still your idiot. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you behind, Hoonie. I’m still here."

The nickname is what seems to make Jihoon weaken completely. He staggers back on the bed, inhaling sharply. His fingers clench tightly on the edge of the mattress, shoulders trembling.

Soonyoung shuffles nervously, biting on his lip, worried he’s said something wrong. “Jihoon...?”

”You can’t — ” Jihoon sniffs, hands rapidly wiping at his eyes, and it takes no brainer to realize he’s crying. “You can’t just...tell me this, Soonyoung. It’s — I thought you hated me all this time. I thought — I thought you just got tired of me. After...After Nae-ri happened...when I got stabbed...”

Soonyoung’s heart breaks when he hears how tight Jihoon’s voice becomes, like he’s struggling to hold back a sob. His voice is so thick with tears that Soonyoung can barely understand him. The purpose of this whole self-made mission was to keep Jihoon safe, to protect him from harm’s way. But seeing the omega like this, looking so incredibly lost and hurt, Soonyoung thinks he’s done more damage than good.

_Fuck being careful._

With absolutely no fight left in him and an urge to comfort Jihoon, he kneels down in front of his mate and peers up at him.

”When I tell you it isn’t your fault,” he says slowly, “it really isn’t and you need to believe me when I say that. Something happened before Nae-ri that I can’t explain now, but when the time comes, I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”

Jihoon purses his lips, sniffling. “When will that time come?”

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for a moment. Instead, he reaches up and covers Jihoon’s hands in his own, cradling them gently. It’s an unexpected thing; Jihoon is staring at their hands, at their contact, with surprise. He looks like he wants to say something but he doesn’t.

After a few seconds, Soonyoung answers a soft, “I don’t know.”

Jihoon nods like he understands, but Soonyoung knows that he’s just trying to cope with everything. If he were in Jihoon’s position now, he wouldn’t know what to do. He doesn’t understand how the omega isn’t mad at him, especially after everything that had happened. He almost wishes Jihoon would yell at him, scream and accuse him of things he didn’t do, just to take the guilt away. Leave him like he deserves.

Maybe Jihoon’s emotions are projecting on him, or maybe he’s emotionally exhausted, but suddenly, Soonyoung feels his vision blur as he reaches up to gently thumb Jihoon’s tears. He will never forgive himself for hurting his love, for putting him through all the heartache he’d been oblivious about. The amount of times he’d wanted to risk his own life just to elope with Jihoon had been dangerous. He’ll never forgive himself.

The omega stares at him, bewildered. “Soonyoung ― ?"

“Please understand,” whispers Soonyoung, voice trembling. “It’s hard for me too. It’s really fucking hard. After we fought...I genuinely thought you hated me. I was ready to accept that, y’know? I wanted you to move on then. Find someone else. But now that this happened...I don’t think I’m ready to let you go."

More tears drip down Jihoon’s eyes. He reaches up to wrap his hand around Soonyoung’s wrists against his face silently.

“And it’s so frustrating,” Soonyoung continues, his voice becoming shakier with every sentence. “It’s so frustrating when you’re right there, where I can hold you. But I can’t. And I know I keep pushing you away, and I told you that I wanted you to find someone else — someone better and someone who can make you happier, but I’m so fucking scared that you’ll forget about me because of my stupidity, and you’ll end up being the one to reject me because you’ve grown tired of my bullshit. It just feels like I’m losing you every day." 

“I’m here,” Jihoon breaks down into a sob, pressing their foreheads together desperately. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t reject you. It’s only you. Only ever been you.”

With a wavering smile, Soonyoung closes his eyes and leans into the touch. “I know. I know that now and I’m so sorry, Jihoon, for bringing you pain when I promised you _us._ I’m still here, Hoonie. I’m always here.” His voice cracks as he twists his hands to intertwine with Jihoon’s again. He brings their interlocked fingers to his lips and presses a soft kiss on Jihoon’s knuckles. Bringing them down, Soonyoung holds his hands above his heart, squeezing gently. “You’ll always have me, okay?"

Jihoon nuzzles their noses with a pained whimper, and Soonyoung opens his eyes, still wet with emotion. The sight of Jihoon has his own tears falling. He’s crying, bottom lip trembling and threatening to break out into another sob. But that’s not what he’s choked up about.

Jihoon’s poker face isn’t one to mess around with, but where his face doesn’t express, his eyes speak for him. And now, Soonyoung can see the indefinite amount of love Jihoon’s eyes show, the relief that pools in his brown orbs, for him. 

“When I told you bonding was a mistake,” Soonyoung starts, but his voice is too shaky that he himself can’t comprehend what he’s trying to say. Jihoon squeezes his hands gently. The gesture is subtle but it speaks volumes, and it’s the strength Soonyoung grasps on to continue. “When I told you bonding was a mistake, I never meant it in a bad way. I guess, in some way, it was meant to go through with the plan of pushing you away. But for the most part, I meant it as us bonding was dangerous. This industry is dangerous. I don’t want anything happening to you.”

Jihoon’s eyes lower. “I know that,” he says. “The danger, I mean. But why did you end up pushing me away if that’s the case? I knew what I was risking. I knew what I was getting myself into.”

”This industry is dangerous,” Soonyoung says again. “That’s the thing I can’t tell you yet, because I know you’ll do something impulsive like what you did in Nae-ri — “ Jihoon opens his mouth to protest. “Don’t fight me on this, I know you, Jihoon.” He closes his mouth, looking annoyed. “So until something happens, we’re gonna have to keep this whole enemy act up.” 

Jihoon looks like he wants to disagree but he doesn’t. Instead, he falls quiet, just staring at their hands. The silence is eating at Soonyoung’s skin.

”Jihoon?” he asks quietly. “Please tell me what’s on your mind.”

Jihoon’s eyes shift, moistening again. “So...you didn’t break us off because you regretted...bonding with me?” 

Like that, the room falls quiet.

Stunned into a momentary silence at the question, Soonyoung rears back in shock to get a better look at Jihoon. For a moment, he’s speechless, because how in the ever-living fuck could he regret bonding the person he loves? 

Jihoon looks ashamed, embarrassed even. He’s not looking at Soonyoung, but the alpha can feel the doubt seeping into his veins. He knew he fucked up, but he didn’t think it was to this extent.

”Is that what you’ve been thinking these past two years?” Soonyoung asks brokenly. “Oh, Jihoon...baby, don’t cry, please...” The pet name slips out unintentionally, but he doesn’t care.

Jihoon’s eyes are glassy, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. “I thought — I thought you regretted that night,” he stutters through his tears. “It was like everything after that just went downhill. The meet-up with Seungkwan that you wouldn’t tell me about...when I got stabbed at Nae-ri, you just...started ignoring me. I was...I felt so insecure about everything else, I just — “ Another sob escapes him. “And then you came home early that night, and I thought it was my chance to talk it out, but it was the complete opposite. I tried so hard to reason with you, but you just completely turned me down. What else was I supposed to think?”

Soonyoung is quick to wipe Jihoon’s tears away, cradling the omega’s face between his hands. “I will never regret that night,” he tells him firmly. “I won’t ever forget it either, okay?” His voice softens. “That was one of the best moments of my life. How can I regret the best thing that’s happened to me?”

Jihoon still looks doubtful, that much is clear. Soonyoung is slipping up too much, but his heart seems to be doing the talking and now, everything feels right where they should be.

”I love you, Jihoon,” he finally says, and like a lightning bolt, his chest feels a thousand times lighter. The faint aching in his neck disappears like it never existed. “I loved you then and I love you still. That’s been the only consistent thing in my life.” 

The room falls quiet for a moment. Jihoon is staring at him with his wide, watery eyes. They flicker back and forth between Soonyoung’s own, like he’s searching for a lie. It hurts to be the cause of Jihoon’s uncertainty, but Soonyoung only hopes their future is a lot more brighter.

A few more moments of silence pass, and then a high-pitched whimper fills the room. Jihoon’s face crumples, and suddenly, Soonyoung’s arms are full of a crying omega.

”I miss you,” Jihoon whispers into his neck, and Soonyoung’s shoulder is wet but he couldn’t care less. “I miss you so much, tiger. I love you. I love you still, even if you were an ass.”

Soonyoung laughs wetly at that, heart bursting at the familiarity of it all. He doesn’t stop himself from pressing a kiss to the crown of Jihoon’s head. “I miss you too, kitten.” 

The words break Soonyoung’s heart. He’d been so naïve to think Jihoon wouldn’t want them anymore, wouldn’t want  him anymore. But here he is, with his omega in his arms where he rightfully should be.

Soonyoung has never felt so warm in a long time.

“We’ll have an us in the future?” questions Jihoon, looking shyly up at him. He looks mentally exhausted, but he looks happy. 

“We will,” answers Soonyoung, and he can’t held himself when he presses another kiss to Jihoon’s forehead.

”You promise?”

”I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH, OKAY, OKAY. NGL, I ACTUALLY KINDA CRIED. THEY FINALLY (kind of) MADE UP. You guys don’t even know how hard it was for me to not write a kiss scene so I had to settle with forehead kisses instead :,) 
> 
> ALSO
> 
> That clip of Soonyoung holding his picture up of him dressing in a full NY outfit and Jihoon laughing at him in the background.
> 
> That clip of Jihoon in Soonyoung’s shirt and doing his signature tiger pose at OTY Seoul.
> 
> THAT POST OF SOONHOON IN MATCHING SHIRTS AGAIN.
> 
> Seventeen giving fan-service at their concerts :,(
> 
> But Minghao catching a cold :((( Poor baby, I hope he recovers well. He told us to stay warm so we don’t get sick but he got sick instead :((
> 
> I hope all the LA Carats have a good time! I’ve seen posts about people complaining about the screaming during Smile Flower and honestly, I get they can be excited but Smile Flower has so much meaning to Seventeen and Carats. Please don’t scream the lyrics when they take their in-ears out. They want to listen to you singing, not crying like a banshee.
> 
> Finally, thoughts on Big Hit acquiring Pledis?
> 
> As long as Seventeen can keep producing their own music, I’m not against it. Honestly, they were doing just fine with Pledis too so I don’t see why Big Hit would want to acquire them. 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Soonyoung feels a ba-dump in his heart when Jihoon’s eyes meet his. Instead of the animosity and hate he used to see in those brown orbs, he finds Jihoon’s eyes shining with genuine curiosity, like he truly wants to know where they stand. Soonyoung himself doesn’t even know what they are now. They’re definitely not the couple they were before, but they definitely aren’t enemies now either.
> 
> “I think,” he says slowly, “it’s best if we stay as...as friends.” Catching Jihoon’s uncertain gaze, he corrects himself quickly. “At least, for now. Until this whole thing blows over. Just — Just friends."
> 
> Jihoon doesn’t look satisfied but he looks accepting. “Okay,” he agrees with a curt nod. “Just...friends then."


	18. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery  
/rəˈkəv(ə)rē/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
> 
> 2\. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we’re just gonna ride this small Soonhoon wave.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL ROOM**

**JULY 21, 2019 **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

It’s early morning by the time Soonyoung wakes up. He’s almost confused by how refreshed he feels, chest feeling lighter and sleep more rejuvenated than it has been since the past two years. But then he looks to his side and he realizes why he feels so much better, and instead of feeling guilty seeing Jihoon’s face, he feels...more centered. 

After their little fight last night, their make-up, and their small promise, he’d offered Seungkwan’s bed to Jihoon knowing the younger omega wouldn’t come back from Hansol’s room. Jihoon had accepted, albeit a little reluctant, and in the end, they both ended up staring at the ceiling for who knows how long rather awkwardly, the silence eating them up. There’d been tension, of course, but it wasn’t as strong as it was before. It’d mellowed out into something more delicate, less suffocating — but it was still there. Whether it was because Soonyoung had exposed a rather large part of what he was hiding or because they’re something more than enemies now, he doesn’t know.

It had been Jihoon who caved first, turning his head shyly to look at him. At first, Soonyoung didn’t hear his request, mind full of cotton as he stared blankly at the ceiling. It wasn’t until the third time that Jihoon had asked did he catch his request and even then, he felt like he was floating away.

“Can I sleep with you?” Jihoon had questioned. His tone had been shy and unconfident, probably because he had to ask  twice before Soonyoung heard him.

At first, Soonyoung didn’t know how to respond. On one hand, he’s supposed to be keeping Jihoon at a distance, keeping him safe and out of harm’s way. Just because he’d told Jihoon majority of what happened, it doesn’t do anything to prevent the inevitable danger coming their way. Soonyoung was going to have to face it sooner or later and he’d rather not risk it for his own selfishness.

On the other hand, however, he’s told Jihoon majority of what happened. Jihoon isn’t as much of an idiot as he is and he catches onto things rather quickly, but if he denied the omega for such a simple request — something that couldn’t really contribute to harm — he doesn’t see why not. Besides, he’d missed the feeling of Jihoon near him and his comforting scent. He’d missed their relationship and though he doesn’t want to risk scenting Jihoon, he wants to at least be near him for the sake of their fading bond.

“Sure,” he’d breathed after a good minute. “Yeah, come here."

It had been awkward at first, when Jihoon had settled in next to him, seemingly making himself smaller in an attempt not to make any skin contact. Although Soonyoung should’ve been glad Jihoon had understood (he always does), he’d felt rather surprised to feel disappointed instead. He doesn’t know if it’s because of their bond or because of his love, but all thoughts of avoiding skin contact flew out of his mind the moment Jihoon’s lavender and pine scent filled his nose.

Jihoon himself seemed to be struggling with their close proximity, glaring at the inch or so space between them like it hurt him. The bed wasn’t very big; it was twin-sized and cramped and what you would sleep on as a kid. Soonyoung was practically squished between the cold wall against his back and Jihoon’s body in front of him. 

After a whole 17 seconds of them not doing anything and lying stoic in uncomfortable positions while blatantly and awkwardly avoiding each other’s eyes, Jihoon had spoken up, sounding more awkward than he’d been two minutes ago.

“Um,” he’d said, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I’ll just — um, go back to my room — "

Soonyoung couldn’t let that happen. He’s weak and deprived and he  misses Jihoon so much and he’s  right there within an arm’s reach. He’s contradicting himself, he knows. He wants Jihoon to leave him, for the sake of his safety but at the same time, he wants him to stay, to reminisce their relationship and the wonderful memories they’d made together. 

But then Jihoon had raised himself up, looking sad and confused and when Soonyoung felt that familiar tiny twinge of his heart, he'd made his decision.

He'd reached out and wrapped his hand around Jihoon’s bicep, strong yet gentle, giving the omega a chance to back out if he wanted to. Jihoon’s eyes had snapped to their shared skin contact, mouth parting in surprise before his gaze shifted to him. Soonyoung couldn’t deny the sparks electrocuting his fingertips if he wanted to and their eye contact made it that much more stronger.

“No,” he’d croaked, rather weakly. He’d cleared his throat and said, “Stay, I mean. If you — If you want to. I, uh, I don’t mind. Really."

A moment had passed, the two of them staring at each other silently. Soonyoung was internally beating himself up, embarrassed and apprehensive. He’d understand if Jihoon would want to leave him. If there’s anything he’s not stupid about, it’s the fact that he doesn’t deserve someone like him. Jihoon deserves someone better and it’s the harsh truth Soonyoung’s been convincing himself about.

So he’d been rather surprised when Jihoon had breathed out a small, “Okay,” and laid down beside him again.

The inch long gap had seemingly disappeared, now closer to a centimeter. They were still stiff and awkward but their word exchange was enough to clear the tension between them a little. 

A few more minutes had passed and with seemingly something to say, Jihoon had opened his mouth to speak again, only to close it a second later, eyes lowering. Soonyoung wished he would’ve known what was on Jihoon’s mind then but in fear of pushing him away again, he shut his mouth tight and tried to focus on his irregular breathing.

“...Goodnight,” Jihoon had mumbled awkwardly. “Try not to, uh, throw me over your shoulder when you need to wake me up."

Soonyoung blinked owlishly, then released a soft laugh. “You haven’t changed a bit."

“I don’t plan on it.” Jihoon smiled weakly and Soonyoung had felt the familiar whoosh of air leave his lungs at the sight of his smile. 

He sighed wistfully. “I wouldn’t want you to. Goodnight, Jihoon."

Jihoon made a noise of acknowledgement, eyes fluttering shut. When Soonyoung was sure he was fast asleep, his breathing even and body relaxed, he didn't stop himself from leaning forward to press his lips into Jihoon’s hair.

Now though, when Soonyoung gazes upon Jihoon’s sleeping face, his heart aches faintly. He’d woken up pleasantly and had been even more surprised when he found himself completely intertwined with the omega. His arms had been slung around Jihoon’s waist, legs entangled to the point where you couldn’t tell whose leg was whose. He could feel their bond strengthening again, like a lazy river, from how close they’ve been physically and emotionally. He feels like a better version of himself.

He’s not sure where he and Jihoon stand now in regards to their relationship. For so long, he’d been trying to convince himself that pushing his mate away would be for the betterment of their future together but seeing Jihoon sleeping peacefully on the pillow next to him — all he really wants is to pull his mate close and never let go again. It’s almost laughable, he deems, how completely weak he is for Jihoon. He supposes he’ll have to get Seungkwan’s opinion on the situation but for now, all he wants is a moment to reminisce his memories.

The alarm on his phone suddenly goes off, snapping him out of his thoughts. Reaching for it, mindful of Jihoon, he turns the alarm off and checks the time. It’s 8 AM and as much as he’d like to stay in bed for reasons clearly obvious, he knows they still have to keep going with their assigned mission. 

As if on cue, his phone pings with a text from Seungcheol.

> **Leader-nim   
**Rise and shine everyone
> 
> **Leader-nim  
**We’ve got a mission to finish
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**hey answer me
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**ik all y’all are awake stop ignoring me
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**fine
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**we’re meeting at the diner downstairs at 9
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**don’t be late or I’m leaving without you
> 
> **Junebug  
**you always say that...
> 
> **Leader-nim   
**cuz its true
> 
> **Leader-nim   
** get out of bed jun

Putting his phone down, Soonyoung leans back to stare down at Jihoon again. The thought of supposedly rooming with Seungkwan flashes his mind but it’s gone as quickly as it came. If he’s going to get yelled at for rooming with Jihoon again, he’ll gladly put Seungkwan on the spot if they were ever asked what happened to the sleeping arrangements.

“Jihoon,” he murmurs, raising himself on one hand to support his weight as the other hand pats Jihoon’s hip gently. “Jihoon, wake up. Seungcheol-hyung says we need to be at the diner by 9."

Jihoon doesn’t respond and Soonyoung sighs, a smile spreading on his lips as he continues patting the omega’s hip more insistently. Flashbacks of their last hotel visit in Yangpyeong comes back to him and instead of being irritated by how deep of a sleeper Jihoon is, he finds himself feeling fond of the memory.

“Jihoon, wake up,” he repeats, jostling Jihoon’s waist slightly. “Up, up, up."

A garbled sound comes out of Jihoon’s lips as he proceeds to stuff his face into the pillow, whining something unintelligible. Soonyoung’s heart bursts, his smile growing. He has to bite down on his lip to remind himself that they can’t be anything more than friends, not yet, but that doesn’t prevent him from caressing Jihoon’s waist.

“Hyung says he’ll leave without us,” he warns, “and you told me not to throw you over my shoulder if I need to wake you up."

Jihoon’s eyes flutter open into small slits as he turns his head slowly, glaring at him. Then, his face softens into something more gentle, sweeter. Soonyoung almost questions him but reminds himself that Jihoon is probably remembering what happened between them last night.

“What time is it?” croaks Jihoon, voice hoarse.

“10:10,” Soonyoung says automatically before he can stop himself. At Jihoon’s astonished blink, he clears his throat awkwardly and answers, “It’s 8:00 a.m. We have an hour to get ready."

At that, Jihoon’s will to live seems to disappear as the omega groans louder and stuffs his face back into the pillow. “It’s wayyy too early. Five more minutes."

“Uh-uh,” Soonyoung tuts, patting Jihoon’s hip again. “Don’t try that with me, Lee Jihoon. I know those five minutes will turn into ten minutes and those ten minutes will turn into twenty. Get up. You know what’ll happen if Seungcheol-hyung finds out you bailed just ‘cause you needed five extra minutes of sleep. I’m gonna go shower, and you better be up by the time I’m done or so help me, I will get Seokmin to come in here."

He walks towards the bathroom, grabbing his clothes along the way and smiling when he hears Jihoon groan louder.

—

**HOTEL BATHROOM**

** JULY 21, 2019  **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

When Soonyoung gets out of the shower five minutes later and dresses in his all monochromic outfit, his eyes catch sight of the bandage on his bicep. There’s a dark brown line seeping through the wrap, damp and gross and sticking to his bicep uncomfortably. He hasn’t changed it ever since Jihoon had told him to back in Yangpyeong and even then, he hadn’t noticed how long it’s been since he last changed it. 

Cringing a little, he unwraps it carefully and examines the wound. It’s not as bad as when he first saw it back in Yangpyeong, but the crusty dry blood surrounding the wound doesn’t help his queasy stomach. The skin around it had turned a dark purple and blue, looking pretty much like a huge bruise. The wound is a sight in itself, with dark spots decorating it all around and small dots of red that he assumes is his blood. 

A knock on the door distracts him from the sight but even then, the thought of Jihoon seeing his wound makes him wince.

“Are you almost done?” comes Jihoon’s voice. 

“Um,” utters Soonyoung. “Not yet. I’m just...trying to find a bandage."

Jihoon makes a questioning noise. “Bandage? They don’t have first aid kits in this hotel. Wait...” His voice fades away for a moment before coming back. “Here, let me see it. I packed a first aid kit."

“It’s not...” Soonyoung trails off as he stares at the wound through the mirror. “I mean, I can do it myself. It’s fine."

“You’re gonna take the next half hour just trying to put the bandage on,” comes Jihoon’s exasperated reply, “and then I’ll be stuck here and we’ll be late and we’ll never hear the end of it from Seungcheol. Just let me wrap it so we can get going."

Soonyoung sighs. “If you pass out from the sight, I’m leaving you here and when you wake up, I’m gonna tell you that I told you so."

“Oh, please, it can’t be that — "

Soonyoung opens the door and pointedly stares at Jihoon, whose face pales slightly at the wound. His eyes are wide with disbelief and his hold on the items he’s holding — which include his clothes and said first aid kit — seem to slacken slightly. He stares at the wound for a moment, then another, then shifts his gaze up to meet his eyes.

“Oh."

Soonyoung scoffs. “Yeah, oh."

Jihoon clears his throat and walks past him to set the items on the counter. “Okay, it isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be — "

“Sure. Your face said it all.” Soonyoung watches the omega open the first aid kit and bring out a pack of wipes and a roll of bandage.

“No, it really wasn’t. Come here, I was just expecting a lot m — will you just come over here already?” Jihoon sighs, reaching over to grab Soonyoung’s elbow to tug him closer. “Stop moving. These wipes aren’t alcoholic, it’s not gonna burn you, I promise."

At that, Soonyoung stops tugging back just as Jihoon shoves the pack of wipes in his face to prove that it, in fact, isn’t alcoholic based. He huffs and no, he is not a wuss when it comes to pain. It’s just that Jihoon is the one patching him up again, much like before when they were an item. It’s nostalgic and reminds him terribly of his own goal. Yeah, that’s it.

He watches Jihoon open the wipes and lets him turn his arm over to see the wound more clearly. He has half a mind to scare Jihoon into thinking he’s hurt but he’ll probably get an even bigger wound to his stomach because Jihoon’s punches are no joke. Instead, he lets him swipe the wipe over his cut, flinching when the cool wetness touches his skin. Jihoon only mutters an apology and continues to clean his arm, a slightly awkward silence between them.

When Jihoon bandages him up, his touches are soft and light, much like when it was back after Mugan. His hands leave sparks and shivers upon contact, and Soonyoung tries not to fidget.

“Not the prettiest thing, isn’t it?” he asks instead, rhetorically.

Jihoon’s lips quirk up slightly. “You were never a pretty thing to begin with,” he says back.

And thank god, the tension between them dissipates like it was never there.

“Rude,” Soonyoung grumbles. “You never said that be...fore...Sorry."

And if he isn’t the dumbest person on the planet, he might as well have snagged his face in a bear trap and bleed to death if the way Jihoon purses his lips is anything to go by. The omega looks awkward, like he doesn’t know if he should say something. Frankly, Soonyoung doesn’t know if he even wants him to say something.

Jihoon continues bandaging him up, fingers brushing delicately against his skin as he patches the end with some adhesive tape. The material suddenly feels itchy, but Soonyoung bats away the urge to scratch it.

After a long, tense silence of avoiding each other’s stares, Jihoon speaks up.

“Soonyoung,” he says quietly, holding his bicep gently. “...What are we?"

Soonyoung feels a _ba-dump_ in his heart when Jihoon’s eyes meet his. Instead of the animosity and hate he used to see in those brown orbs, he finds Jihoon’s eyes shining with genuine curiosity, like he truly wants to know where they stand. Soonyoung himself doesn’t even know what they are now. They’re definitely not the couple they were before, but they definitely aren’t enemies either now.

“I think,” he says slowly, “it’s best if we stay as...as friends.” Catching Jihoon’s uncertain gaze, he corrects himself quickly. “At least, for now. Until this whole thing blows over. Just — Just friends."

Jihoon doesn’t look satisfied but he looks accepting. “Okay,” he agrees with a curt nod. “Just...friends then."

Soonyoung watches as Jihoon turns away to pack up the first aid kit, seemingly disappointed. He gnaws on his bottom lip nervously and tries to think about what he said the night before they became  just friends. If there’s one thing Soonyoung remembers about Jihoon, it’s that he has a tendency to be self-deprecating, to blame himself for things that weren’t his fault to begin with. 

He clears his throat. “Jihoon."

The espionage hums quietly in retaliation. 

“I meant it you know."

Jihoon raises his head to look at him through the mirror.

“I meant it,” Soonyoung repeats. “When I said...when I said I’m still your idiot. I’m still your tiger. I meant everything. Just...want you to keep that in mind."

Another painfully slow silence ensues between them, with Jihoon staring at Soonyoung like he’s a 1000-piece puzzle to be figured out. If Soonyoung were being truthful, 998 of those puzzle pieces would revolve around his life; the other 2 would be him and Jihoon, trying to find their place in this messed up world.

Another moment passes, then a smile, small and subtle, forms on Jihoon’s lips.

“And I’m still your kitten,” he murmurs quietly. “Always have been. How long are you gonna keep me waiting, Kwon Soonyoung?"

And Soonyoung smiles, relieved. “As long as you’re safe,” he says. “I’ll keep you waiting ’til then. So wait for me, kitten, even when we’re old and retired — wait for me."

Jihoon doesn’t say anything, but the smile he gives Soonyoung speaks more than his words ever could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little short and kind of a filler chapter, but next chapter will be longer :)
> 
> I just found out that ‘ofc’ stands for ‘of fucking course’ and not ‘of course’. My life has been a lie.
> 
> For the life of me, I cannot remember if I added what Soonyoung’s scent is. 
> 
> So about the Soonhoon content we’ve been getting...  
\- Soonyoung being the brave soldier he is and posting selcas of him and Jihoon together :,)  
\- Soonhoon making fun of Chan on stage  
\- Soonyoung putting his arm around Jihoon  
\- Soonhoon dancing Bring It on stage :,))  
\- THE SOONHOON SEND-OFF CAM OH MY GOD
> 
> And not Soonhoon but Chan and Soonyoung dancing to Hit like the performance kings they are :<
> 
> AND SEUNGCHEOL COMING BACK? DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY? I swear Mingyu said something about them coming back as 13 next time.
> 
> Onto a more serious note, I also hope Jun gets better! We really can’t have our boys get sick now that the coronavirus in China is spreading more and more. It’s reached Australia, Japan, South Korea, U.S., and probably more. I hope everyone is okay, but please stay safe if you are around those areas!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Sighing, Jihoon’s shoulders drop defeatedly. “Okay, I — I get what you’re saying. I just don’t want...” He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “If we’re going to heal and be friends, I don’t want this backfiring on you."
> 
> “What do you mean?"
> 
> “I don’t know what your mission is,” explains Jihoon, “but if something happens to any one of us, especially you, because of my selfishness...I’d rather us stay ‘toxic’ knowing that we had a chance to talk rather than something going wrong and us going back to square one. I don’t want...” His voice turns quieter. “I don’t want you to resent me again."


	19. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress  
/ədˈvans/
> 
> noun 
> 
> 1\. move forward in a purposeful way
> 
> 2\. make or cause to make progress
> 
> 3.put forward (a theory or suggestion)
> 
> 4\. a forward movement
> 
> 5\. a development or improvement
> 
> 6\. an amount of money paid before it is due or for work only partly completed.
> 
> 7\. an approach made to someone, typically with the aim of initiating a sexual encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference:  
Moonwalker - Maseok  
Grande - Gwangju
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HALLWAY**

**JULY 22, 2019 **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

The air between them is peaceful when Soonyoung successfully manages to wrangle Jihoon from the bed. (“Jihoon, turn the TV off. Cheol is gonna have our heads if we’re not there in the next ten minutes.” “There’s only five minutes left of this show, we can make it.” “Jihoon.” “Just five minutes. That’s all.” ”Jihoon. Turn it off. I still have your baby pictures on the laptop.” “...Turning it off now.”)

Needless to say, Soonyoung still knows Jihoon’s weak spots.

And though Jihoon seems to be completely content walking next to him, Soonyoung is an array of mixed emotions. Sure, he’s clarified Jihoon’s question on where they stand in regards to their relationship, but he himself doesn’t even know if he was certain about the fact that they’re friends. Are they really just friends or is he feeling this way because he still loves Jihoon? 

Their bond is still weak, but Soonyoung still hopes Jihoon doesn’t feel his confusion. Eyeing his mate from the corner of his eye, Soonyoung tries to look at the expression on his face discreetly. Relaxed is what he looks like. Though his face is as expressionless as always, his posture is laid back, hands shoved in the pockets of his gray hoodie. 

If they weren’t mates and if they didn’t have the conversation back in the bathroom and the night before, Soonyoung wouldn’t have made any attempts to talk to the omega.

Now though, the atmosphere has taken a complete 180 from what it was just a few days ago.

“I’m glad we got to talk things out,” Soonyoung says honestly, shoving his own hands in his hoodie pockets as he looks down at his feet. “It feels a lot better now to get some things off my chest."

He sees Jihoon glance at him, then look down at the ground with a subtle smile. “Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, I’m — I’m really glad too. Especially after last night...I felt a lot better sleeping next to you. It felt nice to have you next to me again. Best sleep I’ve gotten in a while."

Soonyoung’s heart swells. They shouldn’t be doing this. Talking like they’re together. It’s dangerous, so why isn’t he stopping?

“Best sleep I’ve gotten in years,” he confesses, and the urge to hold Jihoon’s hand comes naturally. He stops himself quickly, stuffing his hand back in his pocket. “We scented each other. In our sleep, I mean. You smelled like me before you showered."

“Oh,” Jihoon utters. clearing his throat as he turns his head with red cheeks. “I, uh. I wasn’t gonna say anything about it. Does it bother you?"

His question is careful, like he’s expecting a harsh yes. Soonyoung doesn’t like that. He knows they’ve just began getting comfortable around each other again, taking in the familiarity. But it feels like Jihoon is still doubtful and really, Soonyoung doesn’t blame him.

“No,” he answers. “It doesn’t bother me. I guess I’m just getting used to it again. Um, I missed it."

Like that, Jihoon’s whole mood shifts into something clearer, more light. “Ditto. Do you think the others will notice?"

They reach the elevator. Soonyoung presses the button for the ground floor before answering, “I don’t think so, but you know them. They’ll think something’s up. We can just — “

“ — say your laptop died on me while I was trying to translate, so I went back to your room,” Jihoon decides. “Let’s say we argued again and you said something that offended me, so I tackled you and that’s how our scents mixed."

Soonyoung doesn’t know how he feels about how casual Jihoon is about the situation. It’s like he’s gotten over that they still have to act as enemies. But there’s no doubt he wants something more. 

“You tackled me,” Soonyoung repeats, deadpanning. “No, let’s say you punched me. It sounds more believable."

Jihoon looks at him, bewildered. "You think they’re gonna believe that? You don’t even have a bruise." The doors to the elevator opens, and when they walk in, he continues, “Just say I tackled you, we fell, rolled around — whatever. They’re not gonna believe I lost my temper that quick."

“Sure they will,” snorts Soonyoung, crossing his arms. “They’re not gonna believe I got tackled by you. You might be strong, Jihoon, but — "

“Excuse me?!"

Grinning cheekily, Soonyoung repeats, “I said they’ll believe you’ll lose your temper that quick."

“The other thing you said, asshole."

“You may be strong but I’m — Ow!” Wincing, Soonyoung clutches his bicep and covers the spot Jihoon punched. “Okay, okay! Jeez, fine, sorry. I’m definitely gonna have a bruise now. But fine, you tackled me. Whatever. Salty."

Jihoon clicks his tongue, a hint of a smile on his lips as the doors open. “That’s what I thought, fucker."

—

**HOTEL DINER**

** JULY 22, 2019  **

**Location:** Jecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yanghwa-ri

They’re just outside the diner with two minutes to spare. Just when Soonyoung is about to walk in, Jihoon abruptly pulls his arm back and hides them behind the wall from the door’s view. Stumbling, he turns around to scold the omega but cuts himself off when he sees how anxious Jihoon is.

“What’s wrong?” he questions lightly, straightening himself up.

Jihoon clears his throat. “Can we — Can we go over the plan again? I’m not a good actor."

Soonyoung furrows his eyebrows. It’s clear Jihoon’s issue isn’t with them acting like they hate each other, but something else. The omega looks jittery, eyes shifting back and forth. An air of nervousness surrounds them both, and Soonyoung can feel his own heart beginning to race.

“Well,” he says lightly, making sure to keep his voice quiet. “You did a good job making me think you hate me. I’d say you’ll know what to do."

If anything, that seems to make Jihoon more nervous. “That’s not — “ the omega inhales deeply. “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

“I know,” Soonyoung murmurs. “But, like, I also don’t know. I mean, I know you’re nervous, but I don’t know for what. Are you afraid that your ‘hatred — ‘“ He puts two fingers up as air quotations, “ — for me won’t seem as legit as before?"

“It was never legit in the first place,” Jihoon huffs, and Soonyoung’s chest tingles. “No, I just — “ Jihoon sighs, then pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, why did I fall in love with you?"

“Hey.” Soonyoung nudges him, frowning. He’s a little offended but he won’t say that. The fact that Jihoon says these types of things so openly to him makes his heart swell. Like before. When they were together.

“You know I don’t mean it.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “That. I’m scared of that."

Soonyoung still doesn’t get it, even when Jihoon uses a finger to gesture the space between the two of them. The answer is probably very obvious and Jihoon apparently thinks the same because he’s looking at Soonyoung like he’s stupid. Which, he’s been told many times he is, and maybe he really is. 

“Hoonie, you’re gonna have to help me here,” Soonyoung says. “I have an IQ of a goldfish, you know."

Jihoon purses his lips. “I know that, idiot! I meant — I meant I’m scared of you calling me Hoonie. Of us."

Soonyoung doesn’t know how to take that. So many questions are running through his mind now: Does Jihoon want a different nickname, if he even wants one at all? What does he means he’s scared of an  us ? Has Soonyoung been reading him wrong this whole time?

But that’s not possible. Jihoon had broken down in his arms last night, said he misses and loves him, called him tiger, for Pete’s sake. Has he changed his mind?

Soonyoung doesn’t know what was on his face then but it must’ve been something very expressive, because Jihoon is quick to backtrack, looking very much horrified himself. 

“No. Okay. I’m not scared of us,” Jihoon clarifies, almost breathlessly. “I mean — I mean, like, I’m scared they’ll know something happened."

That doesn’t help Soonyoung at all. “...so you're scared your ‘hatred' for me won’t seem as legit as before?” he repeats, not understanding.

Out of the two of them, Jihoon was never good with words, but he’s better at speaking than him. His actions spoke a lot louder than his voice did, and they spoke  volumes. Before Nae-ri, Soonyoung had teased him for being emotionally constipated, which is true to some extent. Jihoon is quiet, cold, the stereotypical Busan man you hear about. Where his words may be harsh, his actions are the exact opposite.

But Soonyoung doesn’t understand because Jihoon isn’t making any sense at all.

“No, that’s not what I — “ Jihoon is beginning to get frustrated. “Okay. No, never mind. Let’s just go in — "

Before Jihoon can walk past him, Soonyoung is quick to grab his shoulders and push him back gently. He stares into his eyes firmly and lets the quietness run between them. The faint sound of glasses clinking and conversations could be heard from the diner, but he’s not focused on that now. If Jihoon isn’t in the right mindset, they’ll go right back to square one. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Soonyoung says quietly. “What are you scared of?"

Like that, the tension in Jihoon’s shoulders melt into something more relaxed. “I’m not scared of you calling me Hoonie,” he murmurs. “I’m not scared of an  us. I’m not scared to pretend I hate you, because that’s what I’ve been doing. But now that I know we still have a potential to be something more...I’m scared it’ll disappear."

And now Soonyoung understands. He understands what Jihoon is trying to convey but god damn, his heart cracks just hearing it.

“I’m not scared to pretend I hate you,” Jihoon repeats, “but I don’t want to walk in there and pretend everything that just happened last night never happened, or else I’ll start believing in it. And I don’t want to slip up, whether it’s on accident or on purpose, because you seemed very adamant that everything you’re doing up until now, is for my safety — for our future."

Soonyoung’s hands fall away from Jihoon’s shoulders. “So you’re scared that your doubts will become true? That I’ll pretend nothing ever happened and we’ll go back to ‘hating’ each other?"

“When you put it like that...” Jihoon sighs, shoving his hands back in his pockets with a stressed exhale. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Soonyoung. I do, and I trust that you know what you’re doing with...whatever is going on with the situation involving me.” His eyes turn softer. “But ever since our fight...I spent two years of my life convinced that you hated me. It’ll be easy for me to believe that you still do."

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything. He lets Jihoon spill his heart out, because he knows he needs to hear this. He needs to hear exactly how much he’s destroyed Jihoon’s confidence, his self-esteem. Jihoon isn’t scolding him in any way, but it sure as hell feels like it.

Jihoon looks like he doesn’t want to say his next words, but he does anyway. “I trust you on missions,” he says softly. “I trust you to protect what and who you need to, but with our relationship — “ He gnaws on his bottom lip. “I don’t think I can. Not yet, anyway. There’s...There’s a lot I still need to heal from and I know — I know you’re still healing too."

It’s a hard pill to swallow, something that Soonyoung can’t quite digest. Harsh words from a Busan man.

“What do you want me to do to make it better?” asks Soonyoung quietly, thickly.

Blowing out a sigh, Jihoon looks at him hesitantly. “I don’t want an  us until we’re both completely healed. Otherwise, we’d just fall apart again, and I don’t want that either. And like I said earlier, I don’t want to slip up. But I also don’t want to be completely shut off from you, you know?"

It’s understandable, but it’s a blow to Soonyoung’s heart. He purses his lips. “We can call it truce then."

“Truce?"

“Yeah, truce.” Soonyoung nods. “We’ll say we decided it was best for the mission if we put our ‘toxic’ feelings aside. At least that way, I’ll be able to show some sort of reassurance that I really don’t have any toxic feelings."

Jihoon looks dubious. “Soonyoung,” he murmurs. “If me being insecure is gonna interfere with your own mission, we should just stay as ‘toxic’ as we were before."

Hearing Jihoon admitting he’s insecure about their relationship is like a flaming arrow to Soonyoung’s heart. Spreading, spreading,  spreading. Before Nae-ri, he’d been adamant on helping Jihoon build his confidence up, especially when they bonded. To him, Jihoon’s insecurities were the first things he wanted to get rid of. He loves Jihoon with his entire being and back then, he wanted to help his mate see that he’s worth fighting for.

But now that he’s the cause of that insecurity, Soonyoung just wants to reverse time and punch his past self in the head to prevent the inevitable stupid decision he was about to make. 

“I don’t want you to feel insecure if it means interfering with my mission,” says Soonyoung finally, running a hand through his hair. “And you’ll never know how fucking sorry I am for making you feel that way, Jihoon. And I understand what you’re saying and what you want, but how are we supposed to heal if we don’t take the initiative to do it?"

Sighing, Jihoon’s shoulders drop defeatedly. “Okay, I — I get what you’re saying. I just don’t want...” He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “If we’re going to heal and be friends, I don’t want this backfiring on you."

“What do you mean?"

“I don’t know what your mission is,” explains Jihoon, “but if something happens to any one of us, especially you, because of my selfishness...I’d rather us stay ‘toxic’ knowing that we had a chance to talk rather than something going wrong and us going back to square one. I don’t want...” His voice turns quieter. “I don’t want you to resent me again."

“Oh, Jihoon...” Reaching out, Soonyoung grabs Jihoon’s hand and squeezes it. “I told you I never really hated you, right? It’s all just an act for the mission I need to finish. If we’re being real here, I’m selfish too. There’s so much I want to tell you, and like I said, I’ll tell you when the time is right. I’m not going to resent you because in the end, everything that’s happened so far is because of me. I told you nothing was ever your fault, right?"

Jihoon still looks unsure. “But what if I — "

Soonyoung presses a finger against the omega’s lips, shushing him gently and shaking his head. “Don’t think about the what if’s,” he murmurs. “Do you trust me?"

A long silence stretches between them. He can see how conflicted Jihoon is by the way his eyes waver, trailing down to their clasped hands. He can see how much the omega wants to say yes, but there’s too many factors to consider for it to be an option. 

Jihoon exhales slowly. “You’ve never really broken a promise yet, have you?"

Soonyoung shakes his head.

Another silence passes between them, then Jihoon squeezes his hand. “I’m still counting on that wedding, Kwon."

It takes a minute for Soonyoung to register Jihoon’s words, but he grins when he does. Squeezing back, he lets their hands drop back to their sides. “Of course."

“And — “ Jihoon starts, abruptly clearing his throat. “And if something happens — if something happens, it’s not my fault, right? It was never my fault."

Soonyoung’s eyes soften. “It was never your fault."

They stare at each other for a moment, shoulders light and chests weightless. There’s so many words to say yet not enough at the same time. Everything is so familiar now, hearts tucked safely in their sleeves and love held back behind their ribcages. It’s not a breath of fresh air, but it’s damn well close to it and everything finally seems to fall into place.

Until Soonyoung’s phone rings. 

Startling a little, they share an awkward laugh as Soonyoung reaches his phone to see the caller ID.

_ Suga. _

Frowning at the name, he answers it quickly. It’s on the rare occasion does Yoongi call him and when he does, it usually concerns Jihoon in some way. He hopes that’s not the case, especially when they’ve just had another talk about their hidden feelings.

“Hyung?” questions Soonyoung, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s up?"

_”Hoshi,”_ Yoongi says, sounding breathless. _”Hoshi, we’re in Moonwalker now."_

Like that, Soonyoung is instantly on alert, straightening up. If his code name wasn’t enough to tell him something is wrong, the fact that Yoongi is in Maseok now will surely tell him. Code names aren’t used unless there’s suspicions about the environment they’re in.

A sudden gut feeling of something happened hits Soonyoung like a wave. Stepping away from Jihoon, Soonyoung walks past him back into the hallway they came from to prevent any wandering ears of passing bystanders. 

“What happened? Did you find them?” he demands instantly, letting Jihoon follow behind him. Although the omega must be clueless, he’s fully on guard, checking their surroundings every now and then.

_“I don’t know,”_ Yoongi sighs, sounding frustrated. There’s some shuffling and voices in the background, hushed yet familiar. _”We didn’t find them, but oh my god. Hoshi, there’s — there’s blood on the counter. The whole place is completely trashed except for the room at the end of the hall — "_

Soonyoung doesn’t hear anything else after that. It’s like a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over his head, freezing his limbs and turning his lungs into ice. He can’t breathe, and there’s a sudden loud thud in his chest, pounding in a repeated pattern of _BUH-BOOM, BUH-BOOM, BUH-BOOM. _He feels like water filled his ears with static.

_Why am I not fucking surprised?_

He snaps out of the hole he’s spiraling into when he feels a warm hand on his bicep, squeezing gently. He looks to his left and Jihoon is there, eyes concerned and lips pressed into a thin line.

“What does it smell like?” Soonyoung asks in an attempt to recollect himself. “The blood, I mean."

_“Um.”_ Yoongi disappears from the line for a moment, then comes back after a few hushed whispers.  _ ”Chimmy says lemongrass, but V caught a scent of peaches in the room that was left untouched." _

Soonyoung feels the breath  _whoosh _ out of him and he braces himself against the wall. He can feel the skin tightening around his knuckles from how clenched his hand is around his phone. “Fuck. Fuck, hyung..."

The familiar feeling of fainting crashes over him like a wave. Back when he’d found out someone had targeted his family, he’d felt the same emotions. Dizzy, faint, a little nauseous. Mind cluttered, he barely registers when Jihoon reaches up and cups his nape. His fingers press gently against his scent glands on either side of his neck, rubbing lightly. 

“You said — “ Soonyoung stutters through a shaky breath. “You said the last room...it’s untouched?"

_”Affirmative,” _ says Yoongi. _”Other than that, it looks like someone tried to fight but lost."_

Blowing out a breath, Soonyoung gnaws on his lip. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s — oh my god. Is RM-hyung there? Can I talk to him?"

It’s quiet for a moment, the sound of rustling and more hushed voices the only thing audible. Soonyoung glances at Jihoon with what he hopes is an appreciative gaze, but the latter seems tense. His fingers are still rubbing at his nape, much more firmly than he did a few seconds ago.

_”Hoshi,”_ Namjoon greets him curtly. _”I have my team investigating every inch of the place now. Nothing much except for the blood and the scents. It looks like whoever’s been here up and left when they had the chance. I’ll send you some pictures when RJ’s sure the encryptions are cleared."_

_”Grande_ _,”_ Soonyoung breathes. _“What about _ _Grande?"_

_“I have Mini-H and his team on their way now,”_ Namjoon reassures. _”I told them to update you as soon as they’re there."_

Soonyoung nods, not having the strength to say anything else. He lets himself be soothed by Jihoon’s touch, lets the lavender wrap around him where the lemongrass and peaches can’t. 

Everything is happening too quickly. With every mistake he fixes, another problem comes out to mock him. His head is a clutter of thoughts, jumping from one situation to another until it all just sort of blends into one big problem that doesn’t really exist. It’s early morning, but it doesn’t stop the sudden tiredness of it all that seeps into his bones like water. 

_ ”How are you and Woozi?”  _ asks Namjoon. _”I have a feeling something happened."_

Upon hearing his name, Jihoon tilts his head in question but doesn’t say anything. His hand falls away from Soonyoung’s nape, and the alpha immediately misses the contact.

“We’re...” he trails off, sharing eye contact with Jihoon. “We talked and...we’re working things out. He’s — we’re doing fine for now.” Not breaking their eye contact, he adds, “We decided to call it truce so the mission is our first priority."

_”Just truce?"_

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for a moment. Namjoon has always had a way with words where he can make you feel the weight of them. Like Jeonghan, he can make you doubt the decisions you make and for the most part, it’s saved Soonyoung from his own stupidity sometimes.

“Just truce,” he says finally. For now, he wants to add, but Namjoon’s IQ is high enough to understand the silent implication.

_”Alright.”_ Namjoon doesn’t press the subject anymore. _”Speaking of mission, anything on your end?” _

“Our end?"

_”No. S.Coups is updating me on that,”_ Namjoon clarifies. _”Your own mission, Hoshi."_

”Oh.” Soonyoung falls silent, thinking back to all the times he’s tried to find the solution to his own troubles. “Suga-hyung said something earlier, about the last room at the end of the hall being untouched. Please check that room again. I have a suspect in mind."

Namjoon hums.  _”There’s something else you want to tell me, isn’t there?"_

Soonyoung breaks his staring contest with Jihoon, slumping against the wall. “You always know."

_”Call me when you can,”_ is all Namjoon says. _”I’ll update you on any leads we find.”_ The call disconnects.

Slowly pocketing his phone, Soonyoung stays quiet for a moment, letting the new information sink like a weight to his shoulders. He’d been doing so well just a few minutes ago and now everything is falling apart like it always does. Like a sandcastle that crashes down from a wave. Is this karma’s way of revenge?

“The hyungs know?” speaks Jihoon finally. “You said only Seungkwan knows."

Soonyoung sighs, smiling bitterly. “I thought Namjoon-hyung was a given considering he’s our boss and, y’know, he somehow knows everything.” At the expression on Jihoon’s face, he adds, “And your cousin would beat me to a pulp if he knew I kept this from him."

Jihoon’s expression softens. “Yeah, he would’ve.” A moment of quietness, then, “So...Joonseo...and eomma?"

Like that, Soonyoung’s smile falls into a scowl. “That fucking bastard. The moment I see him wherever he is, I’ll fucking kill him. God damn it!” He turns around and slaps the wall behind him in anger. “I shouldn’t have left her the day he confronted me. I knew something was going to happen but I didn’t fucking do anything. Fuck!"

Jihoon is quick to pull him back, wrapping his hands around the alpha’s clenched fists. “It’s pretty clear who it is,” he says calmly, untucking Soonyoung’s fingers from his palms. “But eomma is strong, y’know? She had the guts to slap him — a grown alpha — and put him in his place. She’s a fighter. And if Joonseo is with her, there’s no doubt he’d fight until his last breath to protect her."

Soonyoung feels a little better but it still doesn’t quell the worry in his chest. He knows his mother is a strong woman, and his brother is an equally strong man. But if there’s anything Soonyoung knows about the mafia industry, it’s that people have connections. There’s no doubt in his mind that Daehyun will use those to his advantage.

“Remember the place he told us where he was going for his ‘business trip?’” Jihoon air-quotes. “He said it would be a coincidence if he and I saw each other in Busan."

“Jihoon,” sighs Soonyoung. “That was three years ago. How can you be so sure he’d be there now?"

Jihoon purses his lips. “Think about it,” he says. “If he has work in Japan, he has some sort of connections there. And also — didn’t you say something about eomma staying with him until the fires stop back when we were in Mugan? He’s not living there, right? But isn’t it a little suspicious that Busan is the only place he keeps traveling to?"

Realization hits Soonyoung like a ton of bricks. “So all this time...the answer’s been in front of us? Are you fucking serious? So...So you’re saying...he has some sort of these supposed ‘business trips’ but..."

“He might have a HQ there,” affirms Jihoon. “Somewhere in Busan, we just don’t know where exactly."

And in all of Soonyoung’s life, he’s never felt so stupid as he does now. Overthinking will always be his downfall and it’s evident how his mind has failed him now. The answer had been in front of their faces the whole time but never once did he see it. It’s all starting to come together.

“Well, we know where to go now,” Soonyoung says determinedly. “Let’s hurry and tell Cheol — "

As if on cue, Jihoon’s phone rings with a call from Seungkwan. The omega answers it quickly and shares an amused look with Soonyoung. “Hello?"

_”Hyung, where are you? Coups-hyung is getting impatient and y’know, you don’t really want to see that,” _comes Seungkwan’s voice. _”I’m sitting across from him and he’s doing that thing where he rolls his head back and forth."_

”We’re actually just outside the diner,” Jihoon snorts. “Tell him to calm down."

_”Thank god — "_

“Also, we need to talk later, Boo Seungkwan,” Jihoon cuts him off, staring at Soonyoung. “A really long talk."

_ ”...yes, hyung." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all thought I was gonna let you guys breathe, hehe.
> 
> Omg, I’ve been hearing so many news about Seungcheol coming back with his hair permed and god damn, I MISS OUR LEADER.
> 
> AND WOOZI SINGING WHAT KIND OF FUTURE AT BUMZU’S CONCERT. PLS STUDIO VERSION.
> 
> Apparently, my state has one of the only seven airports open to China, that’s freaking terrifying, y’know? And although Pledis is a pretty shitty company, I’m glad their making their idols take precautionary measures. With the virus going on, it’s dangerous to be traveling, especially when there’s been cases confirmed in Korea now.
> 
> And quick vent: I hate how people are starting to degrade others just because China “started” the virus. They aren’t being mean just towards Chinese people, but the Asians in general. I’ve been seeing lots of comments everywhere about blaming the Chinese and how they should stop eating exotic animals, especially illegally, but I also understand that it’s part of their culture. Also been hearing that Asians are being turned away from taxis in some parts of the world, and even Canadian Asians are being bullied. And apparently this one man was undergoing cardiac arrest in Sydney, but people refused to help him just because he was Asian; he passed away unfortunately.
> 
> I think there’s a fine line between being intentionally racist and being scared. Nobody has been necessarily racist, although the media portrays it like that, but I think people are just afraid they’ll catch the virus too. It’s a little heartbreaking, tbh. China is going through such a hard time, people don’t need to fuel the fire with hate.
> 
> Also been picking up guitar and I just learned Hallelujah; I’m proud. Also really want to learn how to play Hug just because it’s so pretty. School’s been kind of shit but what’s new?
> 
> Also, you know that feeling where you never stumble across writer’s block? It’s great. On my way to almost 20K on my unreleased fic, hehe.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “You didn’t answer my calls,” is all Jihoon says when they make eye contact. 
> 
> Soonyoung shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Sorry. I didn’t hear my phone."
> 
> Jihoon clenches his fists, feeling a sudden frustration well up inside him. Okay, fine — maybe Soonyoung really didn’t bother checking his phone at all for the whole day. Maybe he didn’t bother to read the text messages Jihoon sent him every hour to check up on him. Maybe he doesn’t see how unusual it is for him not to answer Jihoon at all. Fine.


	20. Unwonted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwonted  
/ˌənˈwôntəd,ˌənˈwōn(t)əd/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. unaccustomed or unusual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy reading! ❤

**APARTMENT A3**

**JUNE 8, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

Jihoon is a great espionage. One of the top-tier just after his cousin. If there’s one thing he prides himself in, it’s that he can figure out codes and encryptions like the back of his hand. To him, numbers and symbols are his bread and butter, like a toy he can mess around with.

But something has been eating at him lately, and no matter what he does, he can’t shake it off.

Soonyoung isn’t a code or an encryption to be solved. He’s not a number or a symbol, and he’s definitely not bread or butter, much less a toy. Soonyoung is erratic, an enigma when he wants to be. He’s two sides of a coin; he can be a complete airhead or a complete dom, very rarely an in-between. He’s this and that and here and there and everywhere. 

Everywhere Jihoon looks, Soonyoung is there somehow, in some way. He’s the cap that he wears on days where he has messy hair. He’s the bottle of cologne that smells strongly of axe when he doesn’t shower. He’s the black polo hanging in their closet when they have missions to carry out. 

And speaking of missions, Jihoon is starting to worry.

He’s not a worry-wart but when it comes to Soonyoung, he has to be. The man is a walking distraction everywhere he goes and if Jihoon isn’t there to grab his hand and pull him back, Soonyoung’s stupidity would’ve landed the both of them in a grave long ago. 

So yes, Jihoon has every right to worry, especially when he rings Soonyoung for the seventh time that night.

12:36 a.m., the clock reads above the TV. It’s dark out and there’s no sign of Soonyoung anywhere. Now, Jihoon knows his alpha is a grown man and can easily take care of himself, but the fact that he isn’t answering any of his calls is a little unsettling, to say the least. Soonyoung always picks up on the third ring of the first call and Jihoon doesn’t know what to think.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he mutters to himself as he walks around their house aimlessly.

It’s been weird for the past two weeks. Ever since that café meeting with Seungkwan, it seems like Soonyoung’s personality changed completely. He’s not the usual airhead he was but rather, someone more...serious. And while serious is a good look on him, Jihoon doesn’t feel too good seeing the way Soonyoung comes home with pursed lips, furrowed eyebrows, and tense shoulders.

They haven’t talked about it, not yet anyway, and Jihoon doesn’t know when they will but he knows something happened in that café. Something said that made Soonyoung pull away from his hugs after two seconds of contact rather than thirty. That made Soonyoung peck his cheek goodnight instead of his lips. That made Soonyoung turn his back instead of cuddling him in their bed. Something said that made Soonyoung’s “I love you’s” turn to soft hums and gentle nuzzles.

The familiar dial tone of the voicemail rings in Jihoon’s ear and he sighs in frustration, deciding to set his phone down on the kitchen counter with the ringer on.

He just stands there for a moment, not quite knowing what to do with himself. He’s always had something to do being the busybody he is, whether it be translating codes and encryptions or looking up numbers and symbols. Even eating plain white rice kept him busy. And Soonyoung’s loud and fun self always kept him occupied in times where he wanted nothing to do with his alpha and instead just sleep.

But there are no codes and encryptions to be translated. And since he’s top tier, there are no numbers and symbols to look up. The rice in the rice cooker had gone dry and crunchy two days ago. 

And Soonyoung is nowhere to be found.

As if on cue, the handle of the front door jiggles a bit before opening, and in comes the victim in question. His hair is messy, hidden underneath a black cap that sits low on his forehead. He looks more stressed than the day he was before, lips pursed into a thin line and eyes pink. Jihoon doesn’t know what to think of that.

He watches silently as Soonyoung slips his shoes off by the shoe rack quietly, shoulders heavy with tension. It’s so terribly unsettling, the sight of his alpha so...un-Soonyoung. He’s not used to it.

He’s used to being greeted with tight hugs and an overwhelming amount of kisses. He’s used to hearing Soonyoung’s loud voice calling him some ridiculous pet name that he’s somehow fond of. He’s used to seeing Soonyoung’s adorable eye smile when they see each other.

But he doesn’t get any of that tonight.

“You didn’t answer my calls,” is all Jihoon says when they make eye contact. 

Soonyoung shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Sorry. I didn’t hear my phone."

Jihoon clenches his fists, feeling a sudden frustration well up inside him. Okay, fine — maybe Soonyoung really didn’t bother checking his phone  at all for the whole day. Maybe he didn’t bother to read the text messages Jihoon sent him every hour to check up on him. Maybe he doesn’t see how unusual it is for him  not to answer Jihoon at all. Fine.

Breathing deeply to control his short temper, Jihoon asks, “Where were you?"

“Out. Just out,” answers Soonyoung, brushing past him into the kitchen.

And maybe Jihoon’s heart aches a little at the cold gesture. 

That’s become a thing too, Soonyoung being curt when he talks. Gone is the obnoxious yelling and cooing and now, it’s all clipped tones and short sentences. Jihoon never thought he’d see the day where he misses being surrounded by the loudness that is Kwon Soonyoung.

“Out where?” Jihoon pushes further, sitting on the kitchen stool. “With who?"

Soonyoung glances at him while opening the ramen cabinet, looking annoyed. “With Kwan at the café. Why?"

Jihoon isn’t possessive. He likes his freedom just as much as he knows Soonyoung does; he’s not going to deprive his mate of that. But it seems that he has to question Soonyoung’s whereabouts more often than he’s ever had to, and that’s scary. He trusts Soonyoung with his whole being, would even go far as to trust him with his life, but everything just feels so different now.

And that’s one of Jihoon’s fears: Soonyoung growing tired of him. At first, it had been subtle. Hugs lasting a second too short, kisses one short of a peck, skin contact no longer a warm fire but rather, a dull heat. Now Jihoon is afraid all those things he’s learned to grow fond off will disappear before he can truly appreciate them.

“Nothing, just — “ Jihoon pauses, growing quiet. “Just asking."

For some odd reason, something inside him is saying _you’re losing him. Soon, he’ll be gone and it’ll be your fault._

So he musters up to the courage to ask, “How was your day?"

“Good."

Right.

_How about you, Hoonie? _he would’ve asked a few weeks ago. _Was your day as lovely as you are?_

Good. That’s how Soonyoung’s day has been. Just good. Not lovely. Not great. Not amazing. Just...good. Alright.

“Are you okay?” he asks next, and maybe he’s treading on some thin ice when he sees how Soonyoung glances at him again while opening a pack of kimchi ramen. Like he’s being a nuisance. “Is there — Is there something wrong?"

“Nothing’s wrong,” comes Soonyoung’s short reply. “I’m fine. Why?"

Jihoon knows he’s not going to get anywhere with the way Soonyoung is acting but it doesn’t prevent the thoughts that attack his head when he thinks of all the possibilities why his alpha might be acting the way he is. He hopes it’s not anything drastic. Maybe it’s just a phase. A phase that’s taking too long to get over.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Just...you’ve been acting distant lately. Did I do something to make you...upset? I’m sorry."

He almost misses the way Soonyoung’s shoulders slump at that, seemingly defeated. For what, he doesn’t know but he hopes Soonyoung won’t keep whatever act he’s holding up.

“No, no,” Soonyoung sighs, setting the ramen packet down and finally, properly looking at Jihoon. “It’s not your fault. I’m just being paranoid. I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything, I promise. I’m a little...” He struggles to find the right word. “I guess I’m a little stressed about the mission coming up next week. Y’know, since we’re doing it together."

Oh.

_So that’s what it is._

Jihoon feels a breath of relief escape him. Relief that Soonyoung isn’t mad at him and that his alpha is just being an airhead like he always is. 

“Nothing is going to happen,” reassures Jihoon. “As long as we stick to hyung’s orders, we’ll be fine."

“That’s not what I’m — “ Soonyoung starts, then catches himself quickly. “I’m not worried about that."

“Hmm?"

He hums in question but Soonyoung doesn’t say anything, causing an awkward silence to ensue. And it’s never been like this for them, so tense and walking on eggshells. Jihoon doesn’t know where the sudden cautiousness came from but he wants it to go away, bury itself deep in a hole and never come back out.

Soonyoung breaks their eye contact. “I told you that I don’t want anything happening to you, right? That...we’d be an easy target if someone finds out about us?"

“Yeah,” Jihoon replies softly. “Ditto."

It’s the first time in the whole week does he see Soonyoung smile. It’s small and subtle, but the corners of his lips turn up and  _god damn_ _,_ it makes Jihoon feel better just seeing it. The ache in his heart disappears until it stitches itself back together with the lines of Soonyoung’s smile.

“Some things are meant to be kept in the dark,” says Soonyoung cryptically. "Jihoon, do you trust me?"

It’s such an odd question. They’ve been together for as long as Jihoon can remember yet it’s moments like these where he truly questions if Soonyoung is hiding something. His gut feeling is telling him that there’s something deeper, an implication, in Soonyoung’s question. Something more dangerous than he imagines. 

But that’s what he doesn’t know yet.

“With my life,” he answers undoubtedly.

And that’s that.

Soonyoung’s smile grows wider, his eyes gleaming behind his fluffy cheeks. And there he is. This is the Soonyoung who asks him dumb questions and makes as savage comebacks. This is the Soonyoung who begs him to take out the spider in the bath tub with tears in his eyes. This is the Soonyoung who readily agreed to marry him in the future. The Soonyoung he knows and loves.

“Come here, Hoonie,” his alpha croons with arms outstretched. “I’ve been short of my hugs and kisses all week, y’know?"

“And whose fault is that?” Jihoon snorts, but he gets up from his stool almost embarrassingly quickly, walking around the counter and cocooning himself in the familiar embrace of Soonyoung’s arms.

He nuzzles into the crook of his alpha’s neck, an unconscious purr building up in his throat as the scent of tangerines fill his nose. It’s quiet but it’s audible and sure enough, he hears a louder, more deeper purr emit from Soonyoung’s throat. It’s so soothing to hear it again, like his alpha is reassuring him  _I’m here. I won’t leave. _

Then he feels Soonyoung’s plush lips press against the crown of his head, once, twice. His alpha moves on to his forehead next and when Jihoon tilts his head to accomodate him, he’s rewarded with two kisses on the apples of his cheeks.

“You missed."

“Hmm?"

Turning pink, Jihoon juts his chin out once, lips puckering for a split second. He feels ridiculous. The knowing smile on Soonyoung’s face isn’t helping his embarrassment.

“Is this really my Jihoonie?” asks Soonyoung playfully, knocking their foreheads together. Their lips are so close. “Are you admitting you miss my kisses?” 

Face red, Jihoon leans his head away with a glare. “Never mind,” he says tautly. “Maybe I don’t want anymore — "

Words cut off, Soonyoung presses a lingering kiss on his lips, which turns into three, then four, until it seems like an endless stream. Jihoon squirms, giggles erupting from his throat as Soonyoung peppers kisses all over his face. He can feel his face warm up at the contact, ears burning with both embarrassment and adoration.

“Yah, yah, yah,” complains Jihoon, only half-heartedly. “Quit it."

And when Soonyoung pulls back with a loving grin, Jihoon feels breathless. Like he’d just been reincarnated with the power surging through him, body rejuvenating to form a new beginning. Something new, empowered, but all so familiar. 

Soonyoung is looking at him like he hung all the stars in the sky, like he took the time to create all the little details that people overlook. His tiger gaze is sharp yet so soft, holding words his mouth doesn’t need to say. Jihoon can’t think of anything that can ruin the moment.

“You asked for it,” Soonyoung grumbles with a pout that has Jihoon’s heart squeezing. “Come ‘ere."

Jihoon burst into peals of laughter as his alpha leans down to kiss him senseless. It’s ridiculous, how his stomach becomes a tornado of butterflies and a whirlwind of tingling sensations. How you can’t see the ends of his smile or mute the sound of his laughter. He’s so, so, so in love. A sudden thought of_ I want this in my future. With Soonyoung by me, _hits him hard.

When Jihoon was a little boy, love was the last thing on his mind. He’d been consumed by his career, by the endless encryptions and codes. He risked his life over and over doing missions; he loves the adrenaline, the accomplishment when he does things right, when there’s  order.  Sure, he loves his mother and his father. He loves his friends like his own brothers. But Soonyoung...

Soonyoung is just so...different. He’s a tsunami of unexpected events, with a couple of surprises hidden up his sleeve. There’s no order in Soonyoung. He’s so terribly unpredictable and Jihoon, being someone who loved routines and was hesitant to change, despised it.

He refused to talk to the alpha at first, all because Soonyoung was a mess — something that raised his awareness and made him uneasy. The alpha was a change to his routine, a change to his life. It was scary, to say the least. Like jumping into water from a hundred foot cliff. Unorthodox, that’s what Jihoon would’ve described him as.

But there had been one night, when the both of them had been in the Headquarters alone to finish some paperwork. Soonyoung tried to make small talk but ultimately gave up because Jihoon refused to coöperate. He didn’t think it was awkward, just...unconventional. There was nothing to say and Jihoon thought their teamwork worked best that way, so what would be the point in trying to change it? Routine. That’s what he likes.

It was peaceful between them for a while, just the shuffling of the paperwork audible. And then Soonyoung decided to open his mouth and he. wouldn’t. stop. talking.

Jihoon had zoned out because really, who had the time to talk when there was work to be done? But he didn’t want to seem like too much of an asshole, so he opted to nod and hum wherever he deemed it necessary. Soonyoung didn’t even seem to realize it, but then Jihoon had caught the words “dance,” “music,” and “future,” in his sentences.

He hadn’t noticed when his hands gradually stopped flipping through the papers, or when his fingers stopped twirling the pen between his fingers. He didn’t notice when he lifted his head, or when his eyes strayed towards the man across the table, just talking about how I wish I could switch my career to something like...dance. He didn’t notice any of those things.

He was too entranced to find out that someone is like me. Someone wants something more than this. 

And Soonyoung seemed to realize he’d caught the omega’s attention, but he didn’t stop talking. In fact, his mouth was just like a waterfall; endless, flowing, but his words were beautiful. Like music to Jihoon’s ears. 

It was then did it occur to Jihoon that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t mind being Soonyoung’s friend.

But then they became something more, and then Jihoon fell one hole too deep. Soonyoung had fallen in that hole with him but Jihoon swears that as long as they’re together, they’ll always find the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Love you.” Jihoon says it first this time, voice soft like it’s their own little secret to keep.

And he hopes his eyes have failed him, because it’s impossible to miss the way Soonyoung’s smile becomes tighter. The way the light in his eyes die a little and how his shoulders slouch, almost in defeat. His scent becomes something more sour, akin to onions instead of the fresh tangerines.

Jihoon doesn’t know what to think of it.

“Ditto,” whispers Soonyoung.

And Jihoon desperately hopes he’s wrong, because for once in his life, the one time Soonyoung doesn’t say those exact words back, he knows something’s wrong.

Ever since their first I love you’s, Soonyoung has been adamant on saying it every single time, not missing a beat or hesitating even the slightest. Every single time, his alpha had said those words with all the love in his heart and the loyalty of a thousand lions. And Jihoon believes that.

But when Soonyoung pulls away from him without one last peck and instead asks, “Let’s go to bed?” Jihoon can only nod and smile, letting Soonyoung turn to the stairs and head up.

Jihoon glances back, feeling that same queasiness in his stomach when he sees the opened package of kimchi ramen left atop the counter.

A sudden looming fear stands behind him, shadowing over his figure threateningly. He swallows the lump in his throat, spends a worryingly long amount of time convincing himself everything is okay, before heading upstairs after his alpha, shoulders heavy and thoughts whispering dread, dread, dread. 

Soonyoung loves kimchi ramen.

—

** APARTMENT A3 **

**JUNE 17, 2017**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

It’s exactly two days before their mission starts. Two days before the time to relax is over. Jihoon wants to savor his last few moments, because he knows he’s not going to get another chance for a long time. A very long time.

To amateurs, they might think the job is over once the bad guys are ridden of, but that’s not the case at all. Sometimes, there’s bodies to be buried and funerals to be paid for, either for fallen soldiers of their kind, innocent victims whose lives have been taken from them too soon, or even the deaths of their rivals. Jihoon thought it was inhumane at first, but if he wants to be jailed in a cell and left to rot for every blood spilt on his hands by the alliances of the opposite side, he’d rather dig up a hole and throw flowers half-heartedly for the people he didn’t and will never know.

Other times, it’s not mourning the losses of strangers. It’s rebuilding the lands they’ve destroyed that had been destroyed by explosives. It’s calling architects and construction workers to redesign the buildings they’ve demolished, removing all evidence of what happened. For the betterment of a civil society, it’s disguising a rival hideout with a new salon, or an abandoned warehouse to a new grocery store.

Sometimes, it’s neither of those things. Sometimes, it’s simply taking a step back and healing from their battles fought. Taking care of their scars and open wounds and trying to rid their traumatic experiences with an attempt at living a normal life. Like they’re just regular people.

And Jihoon wants to relax, he really does. But there’s an itch he can’t scratch, and it’s because Soonyoung won’t _fucking_ sit.

“Soonie,” he drawls from the loveseat, irritated. “Sit down, you’re giving me a headache."

The past fifteen minutes consisted of Soonyoung’s unusual restlessness, pacing back and forth between their kitchen to open cabinets mindlessly, then back to their living room. Jihoon hadn’t noticed it at first, but he did when a particularly harsh slam of the fridge startled him.

Soonyoung sighs, looking just as annoyed as he takes his phone out and opens it, only to pocket it away. Jihoon watches him walk into the kitchen again, opening the poor cabinets and staring at the packs of ramen, only to close it roughly. 

Jihoon huffs. “Alright,” he says abruptly, unfolding his legs from beneath him. “Spill it, Soonyoung. Why are you so mad?"

“I’m not mad,” Soonyoung says gruffly, trailing back into the living room. Jihoon expects him to say something after, but he doesn’t. Instead, the alpha sits on the couch and rests his elbows on his knees, looking antsy.

Scoffing, Jihoon adjusts his position on the loveseat. “Sure, and my ass is made of slime, right?"

“It kind of is."

“Fuck off, Soonyoung,” Jihoon snaps. “I’m getting pissed off just watching you, and for what? I don’t even know. I feel like there’s pins and needles poking at my skin."

Soonyoung deflects the question easily. “If you’re getting pissy about it, just ignore me then.” He stands up again, and Jihoon feels another needle in his arm. “I’m just trying to think."

“You? Thinking?” drawls Jihoon sarcastically. “That’s amazing."

“Piss off, Jihoon."

“Oh, so now who’s being a pissy baby?"

And this is something unfamiliar to the both of them. They’ve had their fair share of arguments, most of it over stupid things like what cereal should we get? or take that tiger lamp out of our room, Soonie, it’s hideous. And as it goes, most of it comes from Soonyoung. Jihoon won’t lie, he’s been the culprit of their arguments too.

But it feels different this time. It’s not just a small argument over what cereal to buy or what furniture to decorate their apartment with. Now, there’s a mission right around the corner and there’s irritation seeping into his veins, and he doesn’t know why. 

For some reason, Jihoon has a feeling this argument of theirs is going to get worst before it can get better, and he doesn’t know what to think of that. It seems to be a serious matter this time too, because Soonyoung is becoming increasingly antsy with every passing minute.

It’s been like this for the last week, and although Jihoon is worried, he’s also annoyed. It’s obvious Soonyoung’s issue somehow involves him, but he won’t say what. His alpha had been growing agitated with every day that comes and since they’ve bonded, it does nothing to aid Jihoon’s own emotions.

Soonyoung’s sharp eyes glare at him briefly, then he walks back into the kitchen.

Jihoon clicks his tongue. “You’re not gonna talk?"

“There’s nothing to talk about,” comes Soonyoung’s voice.

“Well, obviously something is bothering you and it’s affecting me too,” Jihoon states. “Is it about the mission?"

Soonyoung comes back, looking more annoyed than before. “No, it’s not,” he grunts. “It’s something else. Just drop it, Jihoon. I’m really not in the mood to explain myself, and even if I was, I wouldn’t know how to."

Now that pisses Jihoon off even more. Soonyoung has always been the better communicator between the two of them, but with Jihoon’s job as an espionage and having to guide his teammates out of trouble for missions, he’d say he’s getting better with his words. They’ve had their miscommunications before, but it was usually resolved within seconds and sometimes, a bruised ego.

But Soonyoung is blocking him out, and Jihoon is a lot more than a bruised ego.

“You better get your mind set straight,” he reprimands, ticked. “Think about how bad it would be if you aren’t in your right mindset by the time the mission comes."

“You think I haven’t thought about that?” Soonyoung asks, glaring at him.

Jihoon purses his lips and crosses his arms. “Why are you getting so mad? That’s all you seem to be lately."

“I told you, I’m not mad — "

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Jihoon snaps, standing up from the loveseat. “I knew something was wrong when you came home late last week, but I didn’t question it because you went back to normal as soon as we talked. But suddenly, you’re getting mad over the simplest thing, and you won’t even tell me what’s happening."

Soonyoung closes his eyes and breathes deeply, like he’s trying to control his temper. “It’s complicated."

“Don’t give me that either, Soonyoung,” growls Jihoon, walking up to his alpha. “Don’t give me excuses. Problems are problems, but they get solved with perseverance and communication. What’s so complicated about it that you can’t even tell me? I’m your mate. I’m supposed to help you with these types of things."

“I said drop it.” Soonyoung’s voice is hard, firm. He turns back to the stairs and starts walking. “You said you trust me, right? We can talk after the mission — "

“What? So you’re just gonna run away?” Jihoon asks, voice full of disbelief. “Just because I trust you doesn’t mean I’m going to let you walk away, Soonyoung. I want to know what’s going on — "

Soonyoung turns around and growls, “That’s enough, Jihoon."

Jihoon freezes, feeling all the veins in his body run cold. It’s the voice — deep, controlling, commanding; the alpha voice. He almost can’t believe what just happened. He feels like he’s paralyzed, and the omega inside him wants so badly to submit to his alpha, to please him like some sort of servant.

Soonyoung blinks, having the audacity to look apologetic and surprised at the same time. Like he wasn’t expecting the alpha voice to come out either. He turns to the stairs again, clearing his throat and avoiding all eye contact.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Jihoon,” is what he says finally. “Just...leave me alone for now."

With seemingly nothing else to say, Soonyoung walks upstairs and disappears.

Jihoon lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, eyes slowly becoming wet from the overwhelming feeling of it all. His knees buckle, and he finds himself landing on the loveseat, trying to calm down. 

_Do you trust me, Soonyoung?_ he thinks bitterly, wiping his eyes furiously. _Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like you do._

They don’t talk the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Birthday, Carats! Who needs a Valentine when you have Seventeen?
> 
> 1) I’m so sorry for not updating last week. School work has been keeping busy and I have a project due by the end of March, so that’s what I’m currently focusing on. Thank you for being patient, so double update this week :)
> 
> 2) Cheol back in the GoSe episode :,) I’m so glad he’s starting to look better
> 
> 3) So this chapter is a lot more angsty. It’s becoming tense again between Soonhoon, hehe. There’s a few moments where we delve deeper into how the two met. I really hope this chapter was long enough, cuz next chapter is also quite long.
> 
> ALSO, if anyone remembers why people tie white ribbons around trees at temples, please remind me! I can’t remember and it’ll play a part in this fic soon.
> 
> Anyway, please remember to take care of yourselves!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Soonyoung watches as Jihoon closes his eyes and inhales deeply, once, twice. He’s still growling by the time Jihoon opens them, but instead of the deep brown orbs he’s used to, he sees a violet hue.
> 
> ”Stand down, alpha,” Jihoon croons.
> 
> His voice is so soothing, Soonyoung finds himself entranced, waiting to hear more. The name is a whole other thing altogether. It makes shivers rack down his spine, pleasing the wolf inside him like a drug. It’s almost ridiculous how Jihoon still has control over him, how he can still tame that fire inside him.
> 
> ”You and Soonyoung are one, alpha,” Jihoon continues in that same sweet, honey-like voice. “You are one with each other. Can you let him take control again?”


	21. Consternation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consternation  
/ˌkänstərˈnāSH(ə)n/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update!
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS**

**JULY 22, 2019 **

**Location:** Yecheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Hari-myeon

The discussion between them and the group comes and goes, and nobody seems to suspect anything unusual about their relationship save for them walking in the diner together. Their truce pact has yet to be revealed, so Soonyoung decides to let time do its thing. Seungcheol makes it a point to eat quickly, throws a handful of bills in the middle of the table, then hurries everyone out of the diner with a hasty  remind me to come back here when we’re done  to Jeonghan.

They pile onto the bus smoothly and in the general same seats they were in before. This time, however, Soonyoung raises an eyebrow when he sees Jihoon sitting across from him instead of away. He doesn’t say anything, opting to lean his head against the window as Seungcheol drives them out of the vicinity.

“So we know who the suspect is,” Chan starts, breaking the silence. “And we know a possibility of where they’re headed, but we don’t know exactly where in Busan."

“Correct,” Jihoon affirms, pulling his laptop out of his bag. “I doubt it’ll be any of the major provinces like Dongnae or Yeonje though. I don’t think he’s that stupid to want to attract that much attention to himself.” He glances at Soonyoung. “What do you think, Kwon?"

Soonyoung is almost thrown off by his own surname, but he recovers quickly. “I’m not really sure either. He never wanted any of us to travel with him when he went down to Busan. Never gave a reason, just didn’t want us to."

“Well, we also have to take in his predictability,” Seungkwan offers, eyeing the both of them discreetly. “At this point, he probably knows we’re coming after him once we stop the fires."

“You’re right, but I don’t think it’s his predictability we have to be worried about,” Soonyoung mutters, running a hand through his hair as he thinks. “He’s been flying in and out of Japan for the last few years and even then, he kept traveling down to Busan. I’m more worried about how many connections he’s been building with other people."

“Do you remember if he said anything about his business there?” Seungcheol questions from the front.

Soonyoung gnaws on his lip, brain rendering memories from three years ago. “I can’t remember all of it,” he says apologetically. “But he kept insisting that I take over his company, which I had no idea what was going on or why he wanted me to take over..."

“Nagasaki,” interrupts Jihoon abruptly.

A pause.

“Nagasaki...?” Seungcheol asks slowly, glancing at them through the rearview mirror.

Upon hearing the place, Soonyoung’s mouth drops into an ‘o.’ “That’s right!” he exclaims. “Daehyun said something about taking care of a deal in Nagasaki from his third parties a few years ago. Said he owed them information that he had yet to find out about?"

“He said he’d negotiate with the third parties too,” Jihoon adds. “Then create a plan once he had the information."

Joshua hums, pulling out his phone. “Why does that sound familiar? Nagasaki deal...Nagasaki deal, Nagasaki deal...” he mutters to himself, scrolling through the device. It takes a few seconds, then he releases a gasp. “Wait! The code! The ASCII code, remember?” He reads the code translation out loud. “S-D-H reporting. N-G-S-K deal, owe to D-H."

At that, Seokmin lets out an exaggerated gasp, clapping his hands once. “You’re right, hyung! The N-G-S-K might stand for Nagasaki! It makes sense anyway, right? Nagasaki deal."

“Then...” Soonyoung is hit with realization. “S-D-H must stand for Song Daehyun. So...he was reporting to someone about the deal."

Everything just begins to build up from there. That familiar feeling of excitement dwells in Soonyoung’s chest, an adrenaline he gets when they’re on track with clues. It’s all beginning to fall into place now and for that, he feels a smidge of relief sink into his lungs, releasing the built up tension.

“Maybe he was reporting to his crew,” Jeonghan observes. “Jihoon found the code inside that burning building, right? Back in Wonju? Maybe that building was one of their hideouts too."

“In a public setting?” Mingyu whistles, chewing the inside of his cheek. “That’s dangerous. Now we have the answer to how predictable he is, Kwan. He doesn’t give a shit about where he is as long as he gets the job done."

Seungkwan nods grimly. “That only makes the mission to find him harder,” he concludes. “If he doesn’t care about people being around him while he’s doing business, the chances of him hiding out in a public setting is a lot higher. We can’t waste our time looking in all those places though."

“But that isn’t our mission,” Seungcheol reminds him. “Remember, we’re doing this to stop the fires, not Daehyun."

Seungcheol’s words don’t sit well with Soonyoung at all. “Hyung,” he argues. “Daehyun kidnapped my family, and he’s probably down in Busan. These fires might also lead to Busan too. I’m not gonna let this opportunity go to waste when we can kill two birds with one stone."

“We don’t know for sure if his hideout is in Busan now,” Seungcheol says firmly. “If we’re wrong, we’ll end up becoming distracted and land ourselves in a bad spot. Let Namjoon-hyung take care of it. As soon as we complete our own mission, we can go check up on them, but not now. We need to focus."

Soonyoung’s hands tighten on the seat in front of him. “Seungcheol,” he says calmly. “I respect you as my hyung and I respect you as our leader, but all I’m hearing is the fact that if I’m not gonna do anything about it now, I’m not gonna get the chance to do it later."

There’s a deeper implication to his words, one that has Soonyoung scaring even himself with the double meaning. His family is one of the most important values he has now and to lose them all because he wasn’t independent scares him to the core.

“And I respect your wishes, Soonyoung,” Seungcheol replies back, eyes trained hard on the road ahead of them. “But trust Namjoon-hyung and Bangtan to do their job right. They’ll keep you updated, right?"

“Doesn’t mean shit to me.” Soonyoung tries to contain the rumble in his chest. “If I were to tell you Jeonghan-hyung and Joshua-hyung were both shot, you wouldn’t believe me, would you? That’s basically the same thing."

In his subconscious mind, he knows Seungcheol has a point. Namjoon has always been a trustworthy boss and even then, his instincts are something given to him by the gods; unreal. But the fact remains — Soonyoung will do anything to fight for his family. He supposes he gets that from his mother, but in times like these where he’d adorned his mother’s traits, he’d also received her bad ones as well.

“It’s not really the same thing,” Seungcheol responds, seemingly annoyed. “We’re mates. If they were to get hurt, I would too and vice versa, so of course, I’d believe you. But your family is a different bond, Soonyoung. You don’t have that type of connection."

Soonyoung abruptly swallows down his words of I do have that. He can feel Jihoon’s gaze burning holes in his temple, as if telling him don’t say it. It’s ironic, how Soonyoung is the one trying to prevent their relationship from showing, yet Jihoon is the one making sure it doesn’t happen.

Seungkwan also eyes the both of them, looking nervous.

“Right,” is what Soonyoung says after a moment. “Yeah. But I still want to try."

Seungcheol’s pine scent dulls a little, sounding defeated when he relents, “We can ask Namjoon-hyung on his progress when we finish in Uiseong. For now, there’s still some decoding left. Shua?"

Joshua sits up at the sound of his name, clearing his throat to clear the tension. “Right. So we have Song Daehyun reporting. Nagasaki deal, owe to...D-H. Just that last bit."

“D-H must be some sort of organization or company maybe,” Wonwoo mutters, looking out the window. “If Daehyun’s the one reporting and he made a deal in Nagasaki, he must be owing to an organization or company. Like that negotiation Jihoon was talking about — "

“By the way,” Jeonghan ponders, glancing back slyly at Soonyoung and Jihoon. “How _does_ Jihoonie know about the negotiation?"

_Shit._

Soonyoung and Jihoon catch each other’s eyes for a split second, but those few nanoseconds are enough to get the message across. They simultaneously look at the second eldest. 

“Kwon wasn’t a bastard back then,” Jihoon begins, ignoring Soonyoung’s frown. “Remember, we were on good terms like we were with the lot of you."

“Lee liked eomma’s cooking a lot,” Soonyoung adds, hoping their story is believable. “So he came over and it eventually got to the point where eomma liked him so much, she wanted to share life stories with him."

He can almost see Jihoon internally cringing.

“And what happened?” Jeonghan raises an eyebrow.

Jihoon purses his lips. “Kwon did something and we had a falling out. Hated each other’s guts ever since."

Soonyoung clears his throat awkwardly as everyone turns to look at him questioningly. “Uh,” he utters. “But we decided to call it truce earlier back in Jecheon for the sake of the mission. Can’t really risk getting mad at each other when there’s something more worth fighting for."

Jeonghan’s eyes linger on him for a moment, then he turns back around with a shrug. “Okay then. Smart decision. This will be better for everyone involved."

“Yeah,” Junhui nag, deciding it was the best time to give his opinion. “Y’know how hard it is to endure you guys fighting all the time? Left us in awkward situations at most."

Soonyoung and Jihoon don’t meet each other’s eyes.

“Anyway,” the espionage cuts abruptly. “D-H. So a company or organization, Wonwoo?"

Wonwoo rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I’d say so,” he says. “It’s the only plausible option, unless it’s another person. But the only initials I can think of that we know of is Daehyun, but we already have that down. It wouldn’t make sense if he was owing to himself anyway."

“What company or organization do we know of that starts with D-H?” Junhui questions, pulling out his phone. “It has to be some sort of rival of ours too, so that kind of limits our options."

“There’s Black Spades,” Hansol offers, raising a hand out as he counts. “Vice Lords, Born Killers...uh, Big Money Brawlers, Local Butchers, Hell’s Angels..."

Jeonghan whistles lowly, face twisting into a grimace. “All those groups really live up to their name."

“Devil Hour,” Minghao says abruptly, perking up. “Wait, Soonie-hyung — don’t you remember? Before we met up with Cheol-hyung for this mission, we were talking about the headlines that day. Devil Hour and their deal with the Japanese, right?"

Soonyoung gapes. He can’t believe he’d forgotten. “Oh, yeah! I remember now! I thought the headlines were just exaggerating their return as always. Holy shit..."

Minghao nods solemnly. “'Devil Hour Announces Their Switch-Up in Nagasaki,' remember? The media was so loud about it but it just completely went over our heads."

“But why would Devil Hour be doing business with Daehyun?” Mingyu inquires.

“Daehyun owes them something, that much is clear from the code,” Joshua answers. “And it’s a deal they made in Nagasaki, so unless we can get some information from any Japan mafia, we won’t know for sure what it is that he owes them."

“And since Daehyun owes something to Devil Hour, he’d have to had gotten something from them since it’s a negotiation,” Jihoon adds on. “And I’m not trying to add on another mission to our backs, or add unneeded stress to our shoulders — “ He glances at Soonyoung when he says that. “But Daehyun kidnapped your family somewhere down in Busan, right? What if that’s what he owes them?"

“You mean he’s going to give them off to Devil Hour?” Soonyoung asks incredulously. The unneeded stress Jihoon supposedly doesn’t mean to happen, is happening. “Why? Why them? Why couldn’t it have been something else?"

Jihoon stares long and hard at Soonyoung, mouth parting as if to say something before closing it again. The bus is quiet and that seems to make Jihoon hold himself back. For what, Soonyoung doesn’t really know, but he wants to know what Jihoon thinks. 

Nodding, Soonyoung gestures to the omega as if to say go on.

Jihoon purses his lips again. “You didn’t want to take over his company."

It’s only eight words, but it’s enough weight on Soonyoung’s shoulders. It rings in his ears, circling around his brain and squeezing hard, as if trying to make him light-headed. It travels down his throat, twirling around his lungs mockingly and whisking away all the air left in them.

“All this time he was trying to get me to take over the company,” he whispers. “It’s all because of that negotiation? So if I’d taken over his company then, none of this would’ve happened."

Jihoon looks concerned. “I’m not saying for certain, but it’s a possibility."

“Hello?” Chan asks confusedly. “We’re still here. What company are you guys talking about?"

Soonyoung sinks into his seat, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Daehyun — he wanted me to take over his company a few years ago. Said he wanted it to run by his bloodline or some shit like that. He didn’t want noona or Joonseo to do it though, just me. He said I was the only one...noona was off in Gwangju and Joonseo was in his last year of college, but it was such a shitty reason because he could’ve asked anyone else. But he chose me."

“Then it’s possible he knows you’re in the business.” Wonwoo gnaws the inside of his cheek. “There’s no other reason why he would’ve just chosen you. He shouldn’t be that stupid enough to know that you guys aren’t related, so the bloodline thing is just some lame excuse."

_It’s possible he knows you’re in the business._

_It’s possible he knows you’re in the business._

_It’s possible he knows you’re in the business._

Soonyoung feels a sudden dread loom over him, whispering laughter into his ears hauntingly.

_If he knows I’m in the business,_ he thinks, glancing over at Jihoon, _then he’s the one targeting my mate. It all makes sense._

Then the anger comes. Anger towards Daehyun, for coming into his life and having the nerve to think he’d be able to replace his appa. Anger towards their mission, for being a constant stressor in his life and just snowballing into one big problem. Most of all, he’s angry at himself, for being so naïve and stupid when all the answers have been in front of him.

“Pull over,” he mutters. “Pull over, hyung."

“We haven’t even reached the halfway point of Yecheon,” Seungcheol sighs. “You can’t wait — "

“Pull over or I’m going to rip this fucking bus to pieces.” The growl is beginning to rise from his lungs, shaking his whole body with so much undesirable emotions. He’s not very hostile in general, usually trying to keep spirits up with his obnoxious behavior, but when he’s angry he’s a force to be reckoned with. 

Seungcheol eyes him sharply through the rearview mirror, but relents and pulls over by an empty bus stop in the middle of nowhere. There’s a little village a good couple miles from where they are according to the slanted sign by the bus stop, but Soonyoung is too impatient, too eager to let off the rising steam bubbling inside him.

“Make it quick,” Seungcheol grunts when Soonyoung passes the driver’s seat. 

He hops off the bus, immediately feeling the heat of the sun sizzling on his skin. Unable to find it in himself to care, he paces back and forth in front of the bus stop, growls becoming increasingly louder. He can feel it move inside him — his wolf, just waiting to be let out. Just waiting for the right moment to snap.

Yanking his phone from his pocket, he dials the person who started it all. Fingers shaking, he presses it against his ear and waits for the rings to go through. It takes a while, but there’s an answer, and it has Soonyoung seeing red.

_“So, you’ve figured it out, Kwon Soonyoung?”_ chuckles Daehyun._“Congratulations."_

“Where the fuck are you, you sick bastard?” Soonyoung growls. “Tell me! I swear to god, if you lay a single fucking finger on any one of them — "

Daehyun tuts.  _”No ‘hello, father?’ Ah, what a shame. If only you’d taken over my company, Soonyoung, none of this would’ve happened."_

That only adds to the fuel. “Answer me, Daehyun! Where did you take them?!"

_”You’re stupid if you think I’m gonna answer that, son,”_ Daehyun cackles, and his laughter makes Soonyoung sick with disgust.  _”But if you’re so desperate, there’s a nice little village called Bibong. I left a little surprise for you, isn’t that sweet?"_

Soonyoung clenches his fist so hard his knuckles turn white. “Where. Are. You."

Daehyun clicks his tongue. _“Bibong, dear Soonyoung. It’ll take you right where I want you.”_ There’s a shuffling noise in the background, then a creak, and suddenly the line is filled with growls and snarls. _”But first, why don’t you say hello to your darling little brother? Joonseo, why don’t you greet your hyung? I’m sure you’ve missed him."_

At that, Soonyoung’s whole face pales. “Joon — Joonseo?"

There’s a sound of something ripping, then the familiar voice of his dongsaeng rings in his ears._”Hyung!”_ he grunts. _”Hyung, do not listen to Daehyun! Do not come here! Eomma — Eomma is okay. She’s okay. They haven’t gotten to noona yet but — “_ A slap fills the line, with Daehyun growling something along the lines of _quiet, you filthy mutt!_

”Don’t you dare fucking hurt him!” Soonyoung shouts upon hearing Joonseo’s muffled growls again. 

_”That’s up for you to decide, my dear son,” _Daehyun taunts. _”Better hurry. Time’s ticking and I’m not very patient.”_ A pause. ”_And by the way, how is your darling omega doing? Better watch him closely lest I take him for you.” _Another cackle, then the line goes dead.

Soonyoung sees red again as he hurls his phone to the ground with all the force he can muster. The screen shatters but it’s in tact for the most part. He lets out a frustrated cry as he whirls around and punches the window pane of the bus stop, causing the glass to shatter like his phone did. He turns around, feeling restless and itching to break something.

Tunnel vision. That’s what he’s getting when the slanted sign enters his line of sight. All of a sudden, his body is moving towards it, out of his control.

_Break,_ another voice whispers. _Break it all. break, break, breakbreakbreakbreakbreak—_

Grabbing the metal, Soonyoung feels it warm up beneath his hands, affected by his raging anger. With strength that isn’t his own, he rips the post from the dry ground and proceeds to bend it with his bare hands.

_Tension. Tension. Tension,_ his wolf chants with a snarling. _Release. Let go. More._

The metal snaps in uneven halves. Soonyoung drops the smaller piece, vision blurry with heat as he feels his arms being lifted, raising the large piece of the metal. It’s almost frightening to him, how he can see the result of himself losing control, relenting his power to the alpha inside him. Much stronger and much more dominant than he is alone. 

But there’s this odd satisfaction that electrocutes him as he swings the sign right into a glass pane of the bus stop. Shards fly everywhere, scattering along the dirt ground. Through the tinted windows of the bus, he can barely make out the silhouettes of his members getting up, probably startled by his actions.

_Yes,_ his wolf preens._More. More. More. Break more. _

Legs walking that aren’t his, Soonyoung feels like he’s under a spell as he walks around the other side of the bus stop and proceeds to do the same thing. This time, a loud growl erupts from his throat, and some of the shards still intact with the window sills chip off pathetically from the force of it.

“Hyung! Hyung, calm down!” 

Seungkwan comes running out of the bus, eyes wide with worry and a hint of fear. His hands are outstretched like he wants to touch him, but Soonyoung hisses abruptly, causing the omega to freeze.

“Get back on the bus, Boo Seungkwan,” Soonyoung snarls.

His voice is a lot deeper than it was just a few minutes ago, accompanied with a hint of a growl. It’s powerful and controlling, and he realizes he can only watch through his own eyes as his wolf begins to take over completely. He feels the energy wash over his head, succumbing him in something new and unfamiliar. Something he can’t handle on his own.

There’s a noticeable fear in Seungkwan’s stature but he doesn’t move from where he’s standing. Instead, he raises his arms in a surrendering motion.

“Come back to the bus before you hurt yourself,” he pleads. “Hyung — "

“I said get back on the fucking bus,” Soonyoung repeats, snarling louder. 

Subconsciously, he struggles to get ahold of his body. It’s so incredibly hard, when his wolf seems to have built barriers around his brain to prevent him from taking over. From gaining control. With every attempt, he can feel his energy draining, surrounding him in a more powerful being.

He can vaguely see Seungcheol hurry out of the bus, with Jeonghan and Joshua peeking worriedly around from the stair steps. The smell of something musky enters his nose and he feels his defenses raise at the presence of a challenging alpha, just as dominant.

“Stand down, Soonyoung,” Seungcheol demands, pushing Seungkwan behind him protectively.

Soonyoung growls louder at the thought of being controlled by another alpha. “Piss off, Choi Seungcheol."

The older alpha’s eyes flash. “I said stand down. I don’t want to fight you but if I have to, I will. Listen to your leader, Hoshi — "

“I have no leader,” Soonyoung spits, voice unrecognizable even to himself. “You are no leader of mine. I need to find that bastard and I need to rip him to shreds. He needs to pay. I need to — I need to get revenge."

He sounds delirious, completely different like he’s a whole other person. His heart pounds loudly against his ears, filling his head with white noise as his grip on the broken metal stick tightens. This isn’t him. This isn’t his voice, nor his body. This is his wolf’s suppressed anger, fueling onto his own like a wildfire. Burning, crackling.

Abruptly, he swings the metal post back on the last of the window panes, watching shards fly and scatter in all directions, landing dangerously by Seungcheol and Seungkwan’s feet.

“Hold him down!"

In an instant, Soonyoung finds himself being tackled on the ground with a force that takes his breath away. The metal post flies out of his grip as he lands on the dry grass with a deft thud and an oomph of surprise, but that quickly vanishes when Seungcheol’s snarling face shows up in his vision.

Soonyoung growls at him in defiance, louder when Seungcheol pins both of his wrists to the grass firmly. If his wolf wasn’t angry before, he definitely is now, taking offense with the way the older alpha is challenging him. 

“Mingyu-yah!” yells Seungcheol with a growl. “Chan-ah! Get his legs! Quickly!"

And although Mingyu and Chan are younger than the both of them, their strength is made up with their alpha blood. The two younger men scramble out of the bus upon hearing the demand, quickly getting ahold of Soonyoung’s thrashing legs.

“Get the fuck off!” Soonyoung shouts furiously. “Get your fucking hands off me! I’m gonna kill Song Daehyun and make him suffer! I’ll bash his head against the wall like he deserves and then — then I’ll make him watch himself bleed, so slowly that he’ll beg me to kill him!"

In the back of his mind, Soonyoung can see how Mingyu and Chan look nervously at each other. He can see how Seungkwan toddles back and forth on his feet as he watches the scene unfold. An overwhelming amount of anxiety swells within him because he definitely knows he’s being the cause of their fear now, but he can’t do anything about it. He’s lost all control.

“Jeonghan, get the sedative!” orders Seungcheol, struggling to hold Soonyoung down.

It takes a few seconds but then there’s footsteps running by Soonyoung’s ear, and Jeonghan’s face comes into view, holding what he assumes to be a syringe filled with said sedative.

“Here,” Jeonghan murmurs quietly, making sure to keep a few feet away from the angry alpha.

Upon seeing the sedative, Soonyoung thrashes around more. “Get that thing away from me! You all are crazy!"

“It’s for your own good, Soonyoung,” Seungcheol grunts, lifting Soonyoung’s sleeve.

“DON’T!” screams a voice. “Don’t sedate him!"

Another pair of footsteps, then Jihoon is in his line of sight, eyes wide with panic and hands snatching the syringe away quickly.

“Jihoon — give that back!"

“If you sedate him, he’ll only wake up as his wolf,” Jihoon argues. “And then it’ll just start all over again. We need to push his wolf back and help Soonyoung gain control again."

”What the — And how do you suppose we do that?” Seungcheol grounds out through gritted teeth. “He’s fucking feral!”

At that, Soonyoung growls again and snaps at Seungcheol’s wrists by his head, barely missing. Seungcheol gives Jihoon a look as if to say _I told you so._

”Because you’re making him mad!” Jihoon retorts, batting Seungcheol’s hands away, then Mingyu and Chan's. “Get off of him! Move.”

Reluctantly, and partly because he was shoved off, Seungcheol clambers off of Soonyoung’s torso, allowing Jihoon to replace him. Mingyu and Chan stand back worriedly. The omega settles himself on Soonyoung’s stomach, then proceeds to wrap his hands around the alpha’s wrists, a lot more gentle than Seungcheol was.

Upon being restrained again, Soonyoung finds himself releasing a warning growl. He’d tried to swallow it down in fear of scaring Jihoon, but it seems like the omega knows what he’s doing.

Soonyoung watches as Jihoon closes his eyes and inhales deeply, once, twice. He’s still growling by the time Jihoon opens them, but instead of the deep brown orbs he’s used to, he sees a violet hue.

”Stand down, alpha,” Jihoon croons.

His voice is so soothing, Soonyoung finds himself entranced, waiting to hear more. The name is a whole other thing altogether. It makes shivers rack down his spine, pleasing the wolf inside him like a drug. It’s almost ridiculous how Jihoon still has control over him, how he can still tame that fire inside him.

”You and Soonyoung are one, alpha,” Jihoon continues in that same sweet, honey-like voice. “You are one with each other. Can you let him take control again?”

”No,” rumbles Soonyoung. His wolf may be captivated by the voice, but he’s still just as stubborn as he was before. “Not until vengeance is mine. Daehyun needs to pay.”

”You can get all the revenge you want when we find him,” coos Jihoon, leaning a little closer. “But right now, you’re angry, alpha. You need to calm down before you start hurting people, okay? Let Soonyoung take control from here, and we can find him much faster.” Their foreheads almost touch. “Come on, tiger. Do it for me.”

Like that, Soonyoung feels something inside him weaken. Like something is letting go. His vision clears up a little more, and the tension in his body is beginning to dissipate. 

“That’s it, alpha,” Jihoon hums. “That’s right. Relax for now. Soonyoung will handle the rest.”

It takes a few more coaxing words, but then Soonyoung sees the walls come down and he seizes the chance before it’s too late. He pushes his wolf back, back into the deepest parts of his mind, tucked safely until he can grasp onto his control.

Blinking, his vision clears up completely, and a wave of calm washes over him. He goes lax under Jihoon’s hold, and the omega seems to notice, for his eyes return to the deep brown orbs instead of the striking violet hue.

“Uiseong...” he breathes. “Uiseong. We need...We need to get to Uiseong..."

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Seungcheol grumbles from the side, peeved.

Clambering off of Soonyoung, Jihoon shoots Seungcheol a disapproving look, then turns back to Soonyoung with an outstretched hand. “We’ll go to Uiseong,” he says, grunting when the alpha lifts himself up. “We’ll find whatever there is to find, then we’ll find that son of a bitch."

Nodding, Soonyoung watches as everyone piles back on the bus, but he misses the look Jeonghan gives them.

“Be careful,” is all Jihoon mutters to him, and with a gentle, almost reassuring, graze to Soonyoung’s back, he walks back into the bus without a second glance.

Inhaling deeply, Soonyoung tries to quell down the shame creeping up on him as he follows soon after.

There’s a heat brewing in his stomach, familiar yet he can’t place his finger on it. It’s swirling inside him, making him feel all tingly and a little high too. Shrugging it off as a sudden adrenaline from what happened, he sits down as the bus starts again.

“To Uiseong,” Seungcheol declares firmly. “With no interruptions."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, it feels good to finally have them figure out the code. Daehyun’s still an ass but what’s new? Also Soonhoon trying to act like they’re “acquaintances” :)
> 
> So now we get a glimpse of how far Soonyoung’s anger can go, and also a glimpse of Soonhoon’s wolves. The concept of wolves in this fic is that they go back thousands of years; thus, Soonhoon’s wolves were already familiar with each other, which is how Soonyoung’s wolf was able to calm down so quickly from Jihoon’s.
> 
> And Jeonghan might know something? :)))
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> It takes a few seconds — a few seconds too long that makes Soonyoung wonder what Jihoon had wished for — but then the omega opens his eyes and reaches to tie the white ribbon on the closest branch gently. And for a hot second, Soonyoung almost does a double take when he sees how glossy Jihoon’s eyes look, but it’s gone as quickly as it came.
> 
> Turning to Soonyoung, he tilts his head towards the small tree once. “Your turn."
> 
> Soonyoung clears his throat a little awkwardly, shifting closer to the tree and closing his eyes. And at first, his mind goes blank, unsure of what he should wish for. There’s too many things he’d like, so many selfish things he’d ask for. But there’s a prominent thought that zooms across his mind, and he quickly grasps onto it before he can forget.
> 
> 'If it ever comes down to it,' he thinks, opening his eyes and tying his ribbon next to Jihoon’s. 'Please put Jihoon before me.'


	22. Fortuitous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fortuitous  
/fôrˈto͞oədəs/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. happening by accident or chance rather than design.
> 
> 2\. happening by a lucky chance; fortunate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So more Soonhoon, more suspicions, and...a proposal?
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS**

**JULY 22, 2019 **

**Location:** Uiseong, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Bibong-ri

They get to Uiseong with uneasiness on their backs and a stillness in their throats. The ride itself wasn’t as painful as Soonyoung was expecting, but the heat in his stomach is still brewing, still a mere presence inside him he can’t extinguish. He’s antsy, whether it’s from Daehyun’s words or because of the heat, but that’s still something he tucks in the back of his mind to ponder about later.

Uiseong itself seems like a cozy little village. There’s a few temples here and there and even fewer shacks seemingly selling souvenirs. The whole village looks more like a tourist stop than anything, and judging by the few wandering people in_I ❤ SK_ shirts with big cameras hung around their necks and fanny packs snug tight around their waists, it’s safe to say there’s a slim chance of danger to present itself.

“Alright, gear up,” Seungcheol says once he parks in a stall. “Since the village is so small, we should have no trouble looking around quickly. Don’t bring weapons other than a pocket knife."

“We’ll split up in two’s and one group of three,” Wonwoo suggests. “There’s a lot of temples and people here, so be careful of what you’re saying."

Soonyoung slides his earpiece in, unable to hook it in by himself. Instead, he reaches for his pocket knife and slides it in his back pocket, and when he feels fingers hook his earpiece securely, he has trouble hiding his smile. He leans down a little teasingly, grunting when Jihoon pinches his arm at the gesture.

“Seungkwan-ah, come with me,” demands Jeonghan, linking his arm with the omega’s. “We’ll go to the big red temple by the cliff."

Seungkwan looks startled but nonetheless, he nods in agreement, eyes flickering to Soonyoung’s nervously. If Soonyoung didn’t know any better, he’d say Jeonghan is teaming up with him for a reason, and he has a good feeling on why.

“I’ll go with Hansol then,” Seungcheol says, also a little startled by the unexpected pairing.

“Maknae, you’re with me then,” Joshua hums deviously. “Come on, maknae line and hyung line, right?"

Chan groans at that, looking anything but happy with the pairing. Joshua swings an arm around his shoulder, satisfied with his decision. The two are a common pairing, but Chan doesn’t seem to find it any easier to be around someone as devious as Joshua.

Seokmin looks around dubiously. “I’ll go with...Hao and Gyu then! We’ll be the group of three!"

“Yay! Seokmin!” cheers Mingyu playfully, hopping up and down the aisle towards his teammates. “’97 liners reunite!"

Minghao looks uncomfortable when Mingyu and Seokmin yank him into a group hug, but he goes with it and nods his agreement towards Seungcheol.

“Alright, Won, you and me,” Junhui shrugs then, coming up to stand next to his fellow ’96 liner. “Then the Hoshi-Woozi combo, right? That’s what you called yourself before? Oh, I don’t think Woozi likes that name very much."

Soonyoung snickers at that while Jihoon shoots daggers at the Chinese man. “Two captains, we’re in command."

“That settles it then.” Seungcheol claps his hands. “We’ll each take a random path and meet back here at 3 o'clock. Try to be respectful of the place since these are temples. Use your earpieces if you need it, try avoid tourists if possible. Clear?"

“Crystal."

With that, Seungcheol turns off the engine and heads out first, followed by everyone else. Soonyoung and Jihoon head out last, looking around the area automatically on instinct.

“There,” Jihoon says, pointing to what looks to be a red temple atop a small hill just a few miles away. A few tourists scatter around it but for the most part, it looks to be a place of healing, not worship. “We can work our way in from there."

Nodding, Soonyoung gestures to Jihoon. “After you then, Your Highness."

Jihoon rolls his eyes but there’s a tinge of a smile on his lips as he starts walking along the dirt path, muttering something along the lines of _you’re an idiot._ Soonyoung only grins, following closely behind his mate as he glances around the peaceful environment.

There’s temples scattered throughout the vicinity, all painted in red and orange. There’s signs painted delicately along the buildings, with what also seems to be Chinese and Thai characters painted along some of the beautiful temples as well. There’s patches of flowers here and there, and up ahead is a small pond filled with koi fish and several trees with what looks to be white ribbons hanging from it. The atmosphere itself is calm, a stark contrast to the anger Soonyoung had felt earlier.

“By the way,” Jihoon says suddenly, turning his earpiece off and snapping Soonyoung from his admiring. “Who were you calling earlier? Daehyun?"

Like that, Soonyoung feels his mood turn sour. “How’d you know,” he says dryly, turning his own earpiece off and shoving his hands in his pockets. “Bast — er — “ He glances around and clears his throat, remembering they’re on sacred grounds. “I mean,  he... he knows I’m searching for him. He has — He has Joonseo and eomma in his hold."

“And noona...?"

“Joonseo...god, Jihoon,” Soonyoung sighs out, distressed. “You should’ve heard him when he told me noona is fine. His voice...it was, like, broken or something, like he’d been screaming so much. I just want to...find Daehyun and — and — "

Silently, Jihoon stops in his tracks and turns back at the alpha, placing a hand on his chest. Quietly, he reminds him, “You can’t get angry now."

Inhaling deeply, Soonyoung nods, closing his eyes. “Right. Yeah. Sorry."

Jihoon stares at him for a moment, then turns around and continues walking. “What did he tell you?"

“Told me none of this would’ve happened if I’d just taken over his company,” Soonyoung answers bitterly, kicking a pebble in his way. “Said he left a surprise for me in Bibong and that it’ll take me right where he wants me."

Pursing his lips, Jihoon mutters, “Guess that’s why we’re really here.” 

“Can’t say I like the surprise,” Soonyoung grumbles.

They’re about to cross over the little bridge when Jihoon stops in his tracks, turning to look at the tree beside them with white ribbons hanging from its many branches. There’s a sign in front, with a box of white ribbons in front of it.

“‘White ribbons symbolize hope,’” Jihoon reads. “‘It is a symbol of purity and a new beginning. It is to remember those who have passed and those that you wish to be present in your future. If you have a wish, please add a ribbon to this tree and seek what fortune it brings you.’” He grabs two ribbons from the box, turns to Soonyoung and holds one out. “Let’s try?"

A little dumbfounded, Soonyoung reluctantly takes one of the ribbons and watches Jihoon turn back to the tree with his eyes closed. His fingers are clasped around the thin piece of fabric delicately and for a moment, Soonyoung isn’t captivated by the scenery around him anymore.

It takes a few seconds — a few seconds too long that makes Soonyoung wonder what Jihoon had wished for — but then the omega opens his eyes and reaches to tie the white ribbon on the closest branch gently. And for a hot second, Soonyoung almost does a double take when he sees how glossy Jihoon’s eyes look, but it’s gone as quickly as it came.

Turning to Soonyoung, he tilts his head towards the small tree once. “Your turn."

Soonyoung clears his throat a little awkwardly, shifting closer to the tree and closing his eyes. And at first, his mind goes blank, unsure of what he should wish for. There’s too many things he’d like, so many selfish things he’d ask for. But there’s a prominent thought that zooms across his mind, and he quickly grasps onto it before he can forget.

_If it ever comes down to it, _he thinks, opening his eyes and tying his ribbon next to Jihoon’s. _Please put Jihoon before me._

He steps back, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It’s probably ridiculous, but it gives him that small sense of reassurance that his wish has been heard. Like a silent promise from the heavenly deities up above.

“Let’s go before Cheol scolds us for getting distracted,” Jihoon says, nudging him playfully.

Soonyoung nods with a convincing smile, then they’re walking across the bridge. He catches sight of a gift shop just next to the temple and decides to look into it when they’re done.

The temple is a massive building, painted in red and white with gold characters on the walls. The statues surrounding the temple are a unique sight themselves; some built as two people hugging, others kissing. There’s another statue with two people turned away from each other, backs touching and hands covering their chests. The vines creeping up on their limbs really accentuates how old this destination is.

Soonyoung doesn’t think anything of it until they walk up the stairs.

The double doors are wide open, revealing a statue of a woman — much larger than the ones outside — sitting on a mat. In between her hands is what looks like a heart, and she’s looking down at it like it’s her own child. There’s an incense stand in front of her, candles surrounding the statue.

There’s a couple tourists here and there, and someone who looks to be a tour guide of some sort standing by the door to greet people.

Jihoon nudges him gently, whispering, “Shoes off."

Nodding, Soonyoung slips his shoes by the door next to Jihoon’s, but before they can go inside, the tour guide stops them rather abruptly.

“Are you two together?” she questions, preventing them from stepping in. 

Soonyoung and Jihoon look at each other uneasily, then look back at the tour guide. She’s looking at them curiously, like she genuinely wants to know. Before they have the chance to answer, she interrupts them again.

“This is a love temple,” she continues. “Sorry. I’m just asking because legend says that if a couple were to step into this temple at the same time, they’ll be happy together for the rest of their lives. Would you like to try?"

_A love temple, _ Soonyoung thinks bitterly.  _Of course. Not a luck temple. Not an abundance temple. A fucking love temple._

“Um...” Jihoon says slowly, glancing at him for a second. He looks unsure as he turns back to the guide. “Does it — Has it worked?"

The tour guide beams, as if Jihoon had indirectly told her yes, we are a couple. ”Well, the people who’ve stepped in together come back occasionally,” she says. “And they all seem to be happy together. I know this old couple who did this when they were teenagers and they still look very much in love with each other."

An awkward silence ensues.

Jihoon speaks up, voice tense. “Um, I don’t — we’re not — "

“We’ll do it,” Soonyoung interrupts him, trying to ignore the way Jihoon’s head whips towards him, flabbergasted. 

“We will?” Jihoon questions, then clears his throat. “I mean, we will.” 

The tour guide claps her hands excitedly, smiling wider. “Okay!” she cheers, stepping back a little. “On the count of three, just step into the temple and you’ll live the rest of your lives happier together. I like to tell people to hold hands. It really gives off that effect."

Glancing at each other, Soonyoung reluctantly takes Jihoon’s hand in his. He can feel the way the omega tenses up a little before relaxing, and he has to will himself to do the same. They’re just...friends, nothing weird about it.

Except everything is weird about it. The fact that he and Jihoon had mated, had been teenagers in love. The fact that they began to grow apart because of stupid Daehyun and his schemes. The fact that they broke up, and instead of lovers, they just became stranger with memories. And now this mission is bringing them back together, sewing up the fragments of their relationship with years of pent-up feelings and actions.

Soonyoung doesn’t know why he keeps doing this to himself. Or to Jihoon, more importantly. It isn’t fair to either of them.

“In three — "

He feels Jihoon readjust his grip, probably just as nervous as he is.

“Two — "

It’s just a goddamn legend but there’s something in the way the atmosphere swirls around them, like the universe is watching the two of them heal by pretending to be okay. Like it’s sprinkling little grains of hope for them along the way. First, the anger incident. Then the tree. Now it’s the temple.

“One — "

But for some ungodly reason, Soonyoung believes it.

Jihoon’s hand squeezes around his own and they step in together, the cool floor chilling the soles of their feet.

“Come back a few years from now and tell me how you two are,” the tour guide chirps. “When you’re done here, there’s a gift shop on the side. Go check it out; they have some really sweet souvenirs!"

Soonyoung smiles at her weakly. “Will do."

Like that, the tour guide turns to greet the next couple and it’s only then does he realize he’s still holding hands with Jihoon. He would’ve liked to admire the way their hands still slide together just like before but instead, he clears his throat and takes his hand back regretfully.

“So...uh,” he utters quietly. “We should...look around."

Jihoon only glances at him and nods. Without another word, he turns around and starts briskly walking away from Soonyoung, posture tense and scent a little wilted.

And Soonyoung feels like trash. Complete and utter garbage.

Sighing, he shoves his hands in his pockets and goes the opposite way. He dodges couples admiring the statue, feeling sick to his stomach. And really, he has no right to be feeling this way, not when Jihoon is probably feeling a thousand times worse.

He tilts his head to glance at the designs on the walls in an attempt to distract himself, but everywhere he looks, all he can see is Jihoon’s hurt face, hidden by his stoic façade. His own heart aches.

With another sigh, he walks around aimlessly until his feet stop back in front of the incense stand. The smell from the incense is strong, a mix of something terribly familiar. When Soonyoung reads the plaque next to the stand, the thought of the universe sprinkling little grains of hope for them comes back to his mind.

'Incense sticks are used to heal your body, mind, and spirit,’ he reads silently. ’They are proven to help reduce stress and uplift your spiritual self. These incense sticks are also beneficial for meditation and manifestation. If you have a wish, please burn an incense stick to seal it to the universe.'

He glances at the small box of incense sticks next to the pot of burnt incense. There’s another plaque next to it.

_’These types of incense sticks will release a smell particular to you and what you love most,’_ he reads._ ‘It is believed by many that these sticks are beneficial towards the growth of a couples’ relationship in times of need. Burn an incense stick with someone you love to seal it."_

He doesn’t know what pushes him to do it but suddenly, he finds himself walking towards Jihoon who’s looking around at the engravings on the signs. Before he can stop himself, he reaches out and tugs at the omega’s sleeve, catching his attention. 

“What?” Jihoon questions. “Did you see something?”

Soonyoung opts not to answer, bringing his hand to the small of Jihoon’s back and guiding him back towards the incense stand.

The words he wants to say are stuck in the back of his throat, curling around his larynx like a snake and begging to be let out. But his lips are glued shut, breath caught as he catches hold of his mouth. He’ll do more damage than good if he speaks now.

He still doesn’t say anything, even as he links their pinkies together and grabs an incense stick from the stand with his free hand. Wordlessly, he holds it out to Jihoon and watches with bated breath as the omega stares at it.

He watches Jihoon reach for it hesitantly, his own thumb and pointer finger coming up to wrap around his own, until the both of them are holding the incense stick. They stay like that for a moment, eyes trained on the small thing supported by their fingers, and then Soonyoung guides their hands to the candle in a small black lantern.

And when the flame transfers, something silent passes between them. It isn’t quite a wish — no, they’ve done that already. 

It feels like a promise.

The hairs on Soonyoung’s arms stand but he keeps his eyes trained on the flickering flame. That silent thing — the promise — feels incomplete somehow. Like something is needed to make sure it stays a promise of trust, of determination. And when he guides their hands to the pot to put out the flame, there’s still something missing. He just doesn’t know what.

“There’s nothing here,” he says after a moment, releasing the stick along with Jihoon’s hands. “We should check out the gift shop."

It’s quiet for a moment, a moment too long. He glances at Jihoon to find him staring at the plaque, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes. There’s a change in his smell too. It’s not very potent, but it’s noticeable to anyone passing by. It’s not lavender; it’s something sweeter, yet a tinge of something bitter too.

It smells familiar but oddly enough, Soonyoung can’t distinguish  _why._

”Let’s go then,” is what Jihoon says after a moment, hand falling back down on his side. He doesn’t say anything else. He turns around and walks back to the entrance, slipping his shoes on and glancing at Soonyoung with something in his eyes.

Not wanting to waste time, Soonyoung follows after him, the smell of Jihoon’s scent lingering in the air and a heavy feeling weighing in his chest.

They stay quiet during the short trip to the gift shop too, and Soonyoung is dying to know what’s running through Jihoon’s mind. The omega looks somewhat conflicted, like he’s not sure what to think. Soonyoung hates that he can’t read Jihoon as well as the latter could read him.

The gift shop is decently sized but the inside is cramped. When they enter, Soonyoung nearly knocks over a glass cup near the door. Looking up, he notices almost  everything is glass; bowls, plates, cups, decorations. He’s not sure it’s safe for him to be in such a delicate area.

Jihoon seems to have no trouble, navigating between shelves and tourists like a cat. Soonyoung has the urge to laugh; the omega has always specialized in avoiding all opportunities of socializing, and this time is no different.

He sets about in his own way, taking a more open route where the right side is filled with assortments of paper fans, origami paper, and a few more things he can’t be bothered to look at. But there’s a small table filled with little bowls and what seems to be jewelry holders that catches his eye, and he walks over diligently.

Upon seeing the items in the bowls, he smiles bitterly. There’s two bowls filled with an assortment of crystals and stones, another with temporary tattoos depicting Chinese characters. There’s another bowl — a little lackluster than the previous ones — filled with several rings, all shiny and pretty.

Of course, they’re all made of fake silver and gold, some decorated with small little diamonds — fake, of course — and some just a plain band. 

And it seems like the universe is really pushing him today because he picks one up curiously and inspects it. Upon closer inspection, he notices there’s a small engraving on the inside — ㄱ ㅁ.

“Pretty little things, aren’t they?” a voice startles him, causing him to drop the ring back into the bowl. “Oh, I’m sorry, my dear. I didn’t mean to startle you."

Turning around, Soonyoung bows his head respectfully at the sight of an ahjumma smiling comfortingly at him, crows feet revealing her age around her half-crescent eyes. She’s a dainty little thing, as dainty as all the ceramics surrounding them.

“They are pretty,” he admits when he raises his head. He turns back to the ring bowl, feeling a little awkward being caught red-handed. “Are you the owner of this little shop, ahjumma-ssi?"

The ahjumma smiles wider. “I am,” she answers. “But these little jewels were made by my daughter. She’s always had a thing for these types of things.” Her smile falters, voice softening. “She’s battling a sickness now and I’ve been trying to raise money to help her get chemotherapy. I’m short by a few grand."

“Oh,” Soonyoung utters, a little speechless. “I’m sorry to hear that, ahjumma."

The ahjumma hums, picking up two plain silver rings. “She likes to make crafts like these in her free time,” she continues. “Told me that if I could sell some and make other people happy, she’d be happy too. She was always so selfless, you know? She’s too generous, that girl."

Soonyoung watches her turn a ring in between her fingers, sighing. He feels an ache in his heart.

“I cried for her,” the ahjumma murmurs, putting the rings back. “But you know what she told me? She said, ‘eomma, don’t feel sad because then I’ll be sad too. We should focus on the light side of things as to not give power to the dark. The dark will always feed off of negative emotions, but the light will wash those worries away until we’re strong enough to face them.’ That girl, really..."

And something inside Soonyoung strikes at that, finding it all too much of a coincidence. The universe is watching him, monitoring his every thought and move, making sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice like the damn fool he is. He doesn’t know what’s going on but frankly, everything is falling into place and he couldn’t care less.

Picking another ring up, there’s another engraving inside — ㅂ ㅇ this time.

“How much, ahjumma?” he asks.

“1,500 won each,” the ahjumma says humbly.

Soonyoung grabs the same two rings she put back, reading the engravings inside — ****ㅈ ㅎ and ****ㅅ ㅇ.

“How short are you for your daughter’s chemo?” he questions respectfully, pulling his wallet out.

The ahjumma sighs dejectedly. “200,000. I’m making some progress with this shop but it’s still a long ways away."

Rifling through his wallet, Soonyoung pulls out four 50,000 won bills and firmly places it into the ahjumma’s hand. He ignores the way her eyes widen, mouth dropping open to protest but he shakes his head, pushing her hands towards her chest in refusal.

“Please,” he says. “Take it, ahjumma. Your daughter...I think if I were to meet her, I’d learn a lot from her. I just heard something today I didn’t know I needed to hear, and I think I’ll remember that in the future."

The ahjumma stares at him for a moment, mouth still parted with shock before her eyes wander back to the bills in her hand. She looks like she’s about to cry, eyes glossed over with overwhelmed emotion. Soonyoung’s heart swells at the sight, endeared.

“I — Thank you,” she whispers, looking at him adoringly. “You’ve just made this old woman very happy. Please, take something as a repayment. It’ll make me feel less guilty."

Soonyoung chews on his bottom lip for a moment, hand hesitantly reaching out to grab the two rings from earlier. They glint dully against the light but to him, it’s more than enough for now. He glances back at the ahjumma, who’s nodding with a gentle smile.

“Then...these?” he asks, laying the rings on his palm. “I’d like these, please."

“For a special someone?” the ahjumma teases, eyes crinkling at the corners once more as she reaches for a small red pouch from the table. “Was it the man who looks like a macho little kitten?"

Soonyoung’s lips quirk up at that, packing the rings in the pouch. “That’s him, alright."

“How cute,” the ahjumma coos. “I caught him looking at you a few times now. You’re lucky, you know? Not everyone looks at their significant other like he does."

Like that, Soonyoung feels his smile falter just a little. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “I’m grateful."

The ahjumma doesn’t seem to notice the shift in his mood. “Well, I better not keep you waiting then,” she says jokingly, patting his arm. “I’m sure you’d love to show him what you got.” Her eyes soften. “And I seriously can’t thank you enough, dear. Really. It means the world to me."

Soonyoung bows his head again respectfully. “Thank you, ahjumma. I’ll be sure to come visit sometime."

With a final goodbye and a warm hug from the ahjumma, Soonyoung reluctantly parts from her and carefully navigates through the delicate ceramics in search of Jihoon.

He finds his mate staring at a lucky cat inside a wardrobe with a smile on his face, and his heart heats up at the sight. Jihoon can be unconsciously adorable when he wants to be and it isn’t fair. Soonyoung wants to take a picture but he’s certain Jihoon would find it weird.

The omega sees him first, smile disappearing and cheeks becoming a gradual pink. He clears his throat. “Find anything?"

The pouch in Soonyoung’s hand feels a little heavier. “No. We should head back."

Jihoon nods curtly before they make their way outside. Like that, Soonyoung’s confidence drains a little and he glances at the pouch as he walks behind Jihoon, wondering if he’s being just a little ridiculous. Again, the words are stuck in the back of his throat, lips screwed shut stubbornly.

No one is at the bus by the time they make it back, so they have the runt of waiting outside until Seungcheol shows up.

There’s a tinge of an awkward subtle air between them, like they’re back to tiptoeing around each other in fear of someone lashing out. It’s uncomfortable and frankly, a little tiring. 

The ahjumma’s words run back into Soonyoung’s head.

_ "She said, ‘eomma, don’t feel sad because then I’ll be sad too. We should focus on the light side of things as to not give power to the dark. The dark will always feed off of negative emotions, but the light will wash those worries away until we’re strong enough to face them.’" _

Clutching the pouch like a lifeline, Soonyoung inhales deeply and turns to Jihoon, who’s leaning back against the bus with eyes closed and hands shoved in his hoodie.

“Jihoon,” he says abruptly, startling even himself with the sudden burst of confidence. “About...About earlier at the temple..."

_Come on, universe, _he thinks pleadingly when Jihoon’s eyes shoot open to look at him curiously. I_f there’s a time to work your magic, it would be now._

“It doesn’t mean anything, right?"

Soonyoung, about to speak, nearly chokes on air when those words leave Jihoon’s lips. Like that, the rest of his confidence goes down the drain and the pouch suddenly weighs ten pounds, his heart weighing more. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when he sees the forlorn look on Jihoon’s face.

“I — What..."

“It doesn’t mean anything, right?” Jihoon repeats, voice becoming more cold. “The thing about couples living happily ever after — that’s just a myth, isn’t it?"

“That’s not what I — "

Jihoon sighs, shoulders slouching as he changes his posture against the bus. “You don’t...have to make excuses anymore, Soonyoung — I know. We’re nothing, right?"

Soonyoung feels a terrible ache in his heart. “I’m not trying to make excuses. What are you talking about?"

“I — I don’t even know,” Jihoon says frustratedly, running a hand down his face. “I just — you...at the temple — when we met that tour guide, you just...decided we should step inside together? Like we were...together. What’s up with that?"

Soonyoung doesn’t know how to answer, because he himself doesn’t even know the answer to that.

“And we didn’t even talk about it after,” Jihoon continues, eyebrows knitting together. “And I’m sorry if I’m a little confused but ever since we...talked things through, I just feel like you’re giving me mixed signals now. Like, one moment you’re indirectly telling people we’re a thing, then the next moment, we’re just...I don’t even know what we are!"

Readjusting his grip on the pouch, Soonyoung swallows harshly. He hadn’t been consciously aware of the fact that he’d been leading Jihoon on in some way but there had been a nagging feeling pounding his gut throughout the trip.

“I’m sorry, I think I just — “ Jihoon inhales deeply, bowing his head. “I think I’m just reading too much into things."

There’s a long stretch of silence as Soonyoung stares at Jihoon regretfully. He feels somehow out of place, hands gripping the pouch securely yet fingers tight around the fabric. His toes curl in his shoes nervously, wondering if the rings would be too much now.

Battling his anxious thoughts away, Soonyoung takes a step forward, hands shaking as he pours the rings out on his palm. He shouldn’t be nervous; it’s not like they’re getting married. It’s not a proposal, but a promise. A promise ring.

“No, I’m sorry,” he starts, pocketing the pouch. “I think...I think I’m just confused myself. I’m not trying to lead you on, Jihoon. I don’t know, there’s — “ he sighs in frustration. “Throughout this whole thing and when we made up as ‘friends,’ I just felt, like, I don’t know — I have the urge to treat you like...like we’re still something, y’know?"

If anything, his statement doesn’t seem to make Jihoon feel better. In fact, he looks more upset than before.

“To toy with me?” Jihoon questions bitterly. “To take my hand and make us step into that temple together? Believing that we’d be happy for the rest of our lives together?"

Soonyoung shakes his head quickly. “I swear that’s not what I intended,” he attests. “There’s...this feeling I always get when I’m around you. It’s like the universe is watching us or something. Like...when I got angry and you managed to calm my wolf down. Or when you asked me to make a wish with the white ribbons. Even the temple..."

“How does that all connect — "

“And then something happened in the gift shop,” Soonyoung continues, cutting him off. “I met an ahjumma, y’know? And we talked for a while but then she told me the story of her daughter.” He pauses for a moment. “She told me her daughter said that we should focus on the light side of things so the dark side doesn’t get that power. 'The dark will always feed off of negative emotions, but the light will wash those worries away until we’re strong enough to face them.'"

Jihoon peers at him curiously.

Soonyoung tries not to fidget with the rings clenched tightly in his fist. “And I know you think I’m toying with you but I’m not trying to make it seem like that. I don’t want you going through that pain I put you in all over again, and now that we’re finally at...whatever stage we are now — “ He gestures between them. “I want us to move forward and focus on the light side."

Jihoon bows his head again, shoulders shaking. “How can you want that after what we’ve been through?” he whispers. 

“Because I want us to have a fresh start,” Soonyoung responds quietly, clearly. “From this point on, I want to make my feelings and my intentions for you clear. And I know we cleared some things up back in Jecheon, but I think we both need more reassurance than that."

Jihoon watches him, eyes wide and lips parted as Soonyoung finally opens his palm to show the two silver bands. He doesn’t look like he’s breathing but in all fairness, Soonyoung doesn’t think he’s doing too good himself either.

“From now on,” he begins, holding the band between two fingers, the other safely tucked in his other three. “I may not say that three-word eight-letter phrase now, and I may not hold you like I did before, but my feelings for you haven’t changed throughout this whole journey. From what happened in Nae-ri until now and forward, I’m loyal to only you as whatever we are now...and whatever we may be in the future."

Taking a deep breath, he continues determinedly, “I can’t promise you everything. I can’t promise we’ll be something when this mission is over and I can’t promise we’ll be able to sort out all our problems then, because healing takes time. Healing takes effort, and that’s something we don’t have the time to do now."

Jihoon still doesn’t move, probably in a state of shock. Soonyoung is beginning to feel a little nervous.

“But I can promise you this,” Soonyoung says earnestly. “I will try. For the sake of my bond and my feelings, I will try. If — If you’re feeling insecure or unsure even in the slightest, I will try to give you the reassurance you need. If you have something on your mind and you’re scared to say it, I will try to communicate with you. Because communication hasn’t really been our strong point, has it?"

Jihoon laughs quietly at that, and Soonyoung smiles, endeared.

“My feelings from Nae-ri up until Jecheon haven’t been real,” he reassured further. “I’ve never had ill feelings about you and I’ve never looked at someone else twice. That mark on your neck — “ He gently brushes his thumb on the base of Jihoon’s neck, eyes softening when the omega leans into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. “ — That’s proof of that. It’s faded but it’s still there, and maybe when this mission is over...it’ll look healthier."

He retracts his hand and holds it up to Jihoon. “Like you said in Jecheon, you don’t want an us until we’ve both completely healed, and I agree with that. But I don’t want us going on until we’ve both made ourselves clear."

Wordlessly, Jihoon gives him his hand but Soonyoung doesn’t put the ring on quite yet. He can feel the omega’s hand quivering in his, whether from nervousness or disbelief or both, he doesn’t know.

“So Lee Jihoon,” he finally breathes. “From now until we’ve healed, we’re just Hoshi and Woozi. We don’t need to put a label on ourselves and we don’t need anyone else’s opinions. We are whatever we are now and we’ll heal together when we’re done and through with this mission."

“And now?” Jihoon questions, lips quirking up.

Soonyoung takes Jihoon’s middle finger and begins to slide the ring on. “And now,” he says, “I promise that my feelings won’t change. I was yours and I will be yours but for now, we are Hoshi and Woozi until everything is over. And when that day comes, we’ll be Soonyoung and Jihoon."

He doesn’t take his fingers off the ring until he’s done speaking, then he’s holding out the other one to Jihoon.

“I like that a lot,” murmurs Jihoon, taking the ring and grabbing Soonyoung’s hand. “I promise to try too. I promise to communicate.” He peers at Soonyoung through his lashes. “Promise to wait."

Soonyoung watches the band slide on his middle finger, feeling like he can’t breathe. It’s not a proposal, he has to remind himself selfishly. They’re not getting married nor are they ready, but he thinks he’s just gotten a glimpse of what they’re future could look like.

“I don’t want an us until we’ve healed,” Jihoon repeats. “But I want the occasional reassurance that you’re still there, waiting for me like I will with you. Don’t lead me into confusion; smile and I’ll know everything will be okay."

The last bits of tense air dissipates like it was never there. Soonyoung feels his chest lighten up drastically, weight gone from his shoulders. There’s a pleasant searing on his neck, something akin to crackling and sparking against his skin. When his eyes fixate on Jihoon’s neck, he finds the mark becoming darker.

Without a word, Soonyoung smiles at Jihoon, hands still touching and rings glinting in the sunlight.

And Jihoon smiles back, catching onto his gesture.

They may face cloudy skies later on but the sun is what Soonyoung latches onto, and it’s right there in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) HAH, not a proposal, but a promise ring. There were so many Soonhoon moments in here and soulmate signs, I kinda got carried away, oops. The whole ending was basically just a re-clarification to clear up any misunderstandings between the two of them because Jihoon is still struggling to understand where they stand. I also tried not to make ti seem like Soonyoung was leading him on, thus the rings. Overall, just a fluffy chapter slash semi-angsty but next chapter...whew, everything goes downhill again :)
> 
> 2) So South Korea is the most infected country rn other than China. Y’all, I’m worried. Especially with all the content Seventeen has been giving us. I know it’s all pre-recorded but still. That’s scary.
> 
> 3) Can SOMEONE please tell me how tf Soonyoung won the mafia game when he BLATANTLY told everyone he was the mafia? Ngl, he was kinda hot looking so smug about the whole thing. If Mingyu would’ve just shut tf up, he probably would’ve been able to win. AND JIHOON KNEW Soonyoung was the mafia but still went ahead to take Mingyu out? Ugh, Soonhoon power couple. I love all these idiots way too much. And Seungkwan being salty about the whole thing.
> 
> A-knee-way...
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Groaning, Soonyoung collapses on the ground, nearly hitting the side of his head on the altar in the process. The pain in his abdomen is almost unbearable, attacking in pulses of two’s and three’s, but where his abdomen is writhing in agony, his neck is also burning with an intense throbbing. He keels over himself, and he suddenly feels as though he can’t breathe.
> 
> “Hyung!” Seungkwan exclaims, alarmed.
> 
> Soonyoung vaguely hears footsteps running up to where he is, but his ears are ringing with all the aching sensations he’s feeling. He doesn’t know what’s going on, or why this unusual pain is coming on so abruptly, but then he hears it.
> 
> It’s a whimper through the line, high-pitched and eerily familiar. It’s accompanied by a sniffle and another high-pitched whine, then a sob that has Soonyoung’s heart breaking apart.
> 
> “Soonie..."
> 
> Soonyoung inhales sharply, feeling his pupils dilate at the breathless sound of Jihoon’s voice. The murmurs and panic begin again from everyone else, but Soonyoung tunes them out, ears focusing on the prominent voice of one person.
> 
> Jihoon sobs again. “Soonie..."
> 
> “Shit, oh my god — “ Jeonghan shrieks. “Coups! Coups, guys — come back, quickly! Woozi...I think he’s — he’s going into heat!”


	23. Adventitious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventitious  
/ˌadvenˈtiSHəs/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. happening or carried on according to chance rather than design or inherent nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...things are getting pretty steamy...
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS**

**JULY 22, 2019 **

**Location:** Uiseong, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Bibong-ri

If anyone notices how clear the air is when they regroup with empty hands, no one says anything, either oblivious to the fact that Soonyoung and Jihoon aren’t at each other’s throats or they’re genuinely clueless. Despite that, there’s a few temples left still to explore and meaningful glances few and far in between.

“I say half of us split up and check the last few temples and the other half stay back and get the bus ready,” Seungcheol suggests. “If Daehyun really wants us to find him, he wouldn’t have told us he left this little surprise here if we couldn’t find it."

“I’ll go,” Seungkwan offers, making a face at Soonyoung that he can only decipher as come with me or you’ll never hear the end of it.

Soonyoung smiles, tight-lipped. “I’ll go with him."

“I’ll stay back,” Jeonghan declares, looking rather determined about something. 

Jihoon looks like he’s about to speak up but Jeonghan throws an arm around him and pulls him close, cradling him like he would with Chan. “Woozi-ah will stay with me too, won’t you?"

The younger omega looks taken aback, startled at the sudden contact. “Uh,” he utters, glancing at Soonyoung. “Sure, hyung."

Eyeing Jeonghan, Soonyoung turns to Seungkwan with a raised eyebrow. He gets an apologetic look in return and he can only exhale, unsurprised. It doesn’t surprise him that Jeonghan knows about them now; he knows how to manipulate someone, and Seungkwan is one of his more gullible targets.

“Jisoo and I will go to the one by the lake,” Seungcheol affirms. “Anyone else wanna join?"

“I’ll go!” Seokmin chirps, the blinding sunshine he is. “Gyu, you wanna go?"

Mingyu shrugs. “Sure, why not? I saw a cute little gift shop, we can go there later and check out the souvenirs."

Seungcheol rubs his face with a tired chuckle. “Please don’t get sidetracked. Your first priority is to find whatever Daehyun left us, not...buying paper fans."

“We won’t hyung,” promises Seokmin with a grin.

“Alright, the rest of you will stay back then,” Seungcheol confirms. “Just keep an eye out. If there’s anyone suspicious, any vans or cars that look creepy, just talk to us with the earpieces and stay in the bus.” He tosses the keys to Jeonghan then throws an arm around Joshua. “Okay, we’ll meet back here in an hour. Clear?"

“Crystal."

Everyone disperses but Soonyoung stays back to watch Jeonghan unlock the bus, then discreetly begins a chat with Jihoon as he guides him into the bus, away from the rest of the group. He can barely make out their silhouettes through the tinted windows but before he catch what they’re doing next, Seungkwan takes him by the wrist and proceeds to drag him away.

They don’t speak until they’re a safe distance from the group, and only then does Seungkwan begin to question him.

“So...” he starts, turning his earpiece off. “What was that about Woozi-hyung saying we’d have a long talk?"

Soonyoung peers around cautiously, turning his own earpiece off, lowering his voice as the walk along the rocky trail. “We talked,” he answers. “We...We did a lot more than talk."

“Did you tell him?"

“Not really,” says Soonyoung. “I did tell him that we can’t...be like that yet. That we can’t be what we were before, but I didn’t tell him why. He, uh...he found out that you know about us — that’s why he said you guys are gonna have a long talk."

“Wow, thanks,” Seungkwan grumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m gonna have my ass handed to me on a silver platter."

Soonyoung narrows his eyes, nudging the omega with a little more force than necessary. “Don’t act like you’re innocent. You told 1004-hyung, didn’t you?"

And that’s when Seungkwan has the audacity to look guilty. “I did,” he admits, rather sheepishly. “I’m sorry, hyung, but you know how persuasive 1004-hyung can be. And manipulative. That’s literally his job in this group."

Throwing an arm around his shoulder, Soonyoung sighs, “I know. I’m sure he’ll confront me about that later if he isn’t talking to Woozi now.” He pauses. “We had another talk back in the bus..."

“What about?"

“He told me he was confused about where we stand,” answers Soonyoung. “He thought I was leading him on because...when we were together trying to find the clue, it was like...the universe kept throwing signs at us. Like, Woozi asked me to make a wish by that tree with the white ribbons and then later on, we were in the love temple."

“Love temple?” Seungkwan asks, amused.

Soonyoung nods. “There was this tour guide who thought we were together...told us some legend that if a couple were to step in the temple at the same time, they’d be happy together for the rest of their lives."

“And he asked if you wanted to try?"

“No, I did,” the alpha clarifies. “I took his hand and we stepped in the temple together."

Seungkwan whistles. “Shit, hyung. What did he say?"

Soonyoung purses his lips. “Nothing. He didn’t say anything. Just left to try to find the clue. Then I saw the incense stand. The plaque said something about how you can make a wish if you burn a stick together with the one you love. Guess what? I initiated that too."

“The universe is really watching out for you,” Seungkwan mutters, brushing his hair back. “And then?"

“We went to the gift shop,” Soonyoung continues. “The one DK and Gyu wanted to go to. I met an ahjumma there and she told me she’s trying to help her daughter by running the shop. Her daughter makes jewels in her free time, I guess, and the ahjumma told me what she said...and it really opened my perspective on things."

“What did she say?"

Soonyoung inhales. “She said to focus on the light side if we want to defeat the dark, or something like that. That the dark will always feed off of negative emotions."

“And let me guess,” Seungkwan muses. “You told that to Woozi-hyung?"

Soonyoung nods. “I promised him that I’d start trying from now on. That if he’s unsure...I’ll be there to reassure him. We don’t want to be anything yet until everything is over and we’re both in a mentally healthy state, so that’s what we’re working towards."

They fall into silence after that, the temple they’re headed to becoming closer and closer in their field of vision. 

“I’m happy for you, hyung,” is what Seungkwan says finally. “Really. I am. I’m...I’m glad you guys had the chance to talk things out. Just...be careful from now on. Now that you guys admitted, you’re more prone to become the target."

Soonyoung smiles bitterly. “We’re already the target."

The silence comes back again as they pass several tourists taking pictures by the statues along the trail. The statues aren’t like anything Soonyoung has seen back at the love temple; they’re all singular now, facial expressions all the same. Cold, distant, eyes empty. A shiver racks down his spine.

“Nothing else to say?” he asks Seungkwan.

Seungkwan stays quiet, then shakes his head. Soonyoung turns on his earpiece, hearing nothing coming from the line. 

They don’t talk the rest of the way to the temple. When they get inside, it’s empty, place ridden of tourists or nosy tour guides. It’s a lot like the love temple Soonyoung had been to earlier, the only difference being the statue. Instead of a woman cradling a heart, it’s a man with his hands held out, palms raised and his head bowed.

There’s another incense stand but there’s no burnt sticks or a box of incense to begin with. The place is ridden of furniture, gone are the benches on each side of the door. The designs are the wall are worn out and faded, really accentuating how old the building is.

_“Coups speaking,”_ Seungcheol suddenly says through the line._ “Did anyone find anything?"_

“There’s nothing here,” Seungkwan mutters against the stillness of the room, glancing at Soonyoung. “He couldn’t have hidden anything here, could he?"

Soonyoung looks around, but the place is as bare as it seems. “The only thing here is the statue and the incense stand."

_“Jisoo and I are looking around but there’s too many tourists in the way without seeming suspicious,”_ says Seungcheol._ “We’ll keep a look out though. DK, Gyu, anything on your end?"_

Seokmin’s voice crackles through. _“Nothing yet, hyung. Nothing looks out of the ordinary."_

Soonyoung cranes his head towards the statue, wondering if there could be something hidden beneath it. That’s when Seungkwan lets out a gasp that makes him jump.

_“Kwan, what is it?”_ demands Seungcheol immediately, leader instincts coming onto full effect, but Seungkwan dismisses him.

“Nothing, hyung. I just had an idea,” is what Seungkwan responds with, then bats at Soonyoung’s shoulders. "Let me get on your shoulders, hyung,” he demands, already pushing Soonyoung down before he even knows what’s going on.

Soonyoung almost loses his balance. “Whoa, wait, what, what, what?” he blubbers in confusion, grunting when Seungkwan swings a leg over his head and rests his weight on him. “Hold up — ow! The hell are you doing?"

Mingyu makes a noise of confusion through the line. _“What’s going on there — "_

“I want to see if there’s anything in his palms, stupid,” Seungkwan clicks his tongue, patting Soonyoung's head. “Now get up, horsy. I can probably reach around if I’m twice my height."

With a heavy sigh, Soonyoung latches onto Seungkwan’s ankles and pushes himself off the ground with a struggle. He almost loses his balance again when he stands up, and Seungkwan squeals with surprise, using the opportunity to tug his hair in punishment.

Soonyoung hisses, slapping Seungkwan’s knee warningly.

“Hyung, Vernonie is so much stronger than you,” Seungkwan huffs. “He’s not even an alpha!"

“I’m sure you make him suffer every time you do this,” Soonyoung retorts, disgruntled. “He’s just too polite to say it to your face ‘cause you two are together and — Ow! Will you stop that?! I’m not afraid to drop you, y’know?"

There’s a snort through the line and he almost forgets that Hansol can hear them too. He feels a little smug if the embarrassed look on Seungkwan’s face is anything to go by. The omega’s ears are red, lips screwed down into a scowl.

Seungkwan tugs his hair again and ignores his statement, annoyed. “Mush, hyung. We have a surprise to find."

Mimicking him because he’s petty like that, Soonyoung walks as close as he can to the statue until the rope prevents him from going any farther. He feels Seungkwan lean forward and has to bow his head to accommodate the extra weight on his neck. 

He hears Seungkwan let out a grunt and asks, “Anything?"

“I can’t even reach farther than the tip of his finger,” Seungkwan replies with a sigh. “Move closer."

“I can’t. This is the farthest we can go."

He hears Seungkwan click his tongue again. “Just step over the rope, hyung. It’s literally not that hard. Nobody’s watching and besides, there shouldn’t be any cameras in temples anyway."

Soonyoung feels a headache coming on. Their bickering is why he finds it difficult to work with Seungkwan but he supposes he himself isn’t any better if he’s retaliating.

“You know what, I’m glad you’re gonna get your ass handed to you on a silver platter,” he grumbles, securing Seungkwan’s ankles in his hold as he carefully steps over the rope, head spinning to make sure no one is about to walk in and see the disaster they are.

Seungkwan ignores him again, and then the weight is back on Soonyoung’s neck. He holds still for a few seconds, thighs beginning to ache with how tense he is. 

“There’s something there,” is what Seungkwan finally says after a few minutes of patting around. “I can barely touch it, but it feels like paper. You’re probably gonna have to climb up the statue to get it, hyung."

Squawking incredulously, Soonyoung asks, “Are you kidding me? Why do I have to do it? You’re the one who wanted to look up there!"

“I’m tired, hyung,” is the response he gets as Seungkwan hops down on the other side of the rope.

Soonyoung splutters, pointing a finger at the omega accusingly. “You’re tired? My thighs are burning. I had to carry you while you sat on my shoulders — which are prone to dislocation, by the way — and you want me to go up there?"

Seungkwan waves him off. “Fighting, hyung."

There’s several cackles and chuckles that rip through the line, everyone amused at their bickering. He almost forgets that everyone is still attuned to the earpiece link.

Staring at him for a moment and trying to resist the urge to slap him in the face, Soonyoung rubs a hand over his forehead with a sigh. “Fine. Keep watch then. If someone looks like they’re about to walk in — I don’t know — do something then.” He stares pointedly at the omega. “And no, please, whatever the signal is, do not start singing Wi-Fi."

As if on cue, Seokmin sings the Wi-Fi song quietly, most likely as to not disturb whoever is around him, and Soonyoung groans.

Smiling in amusement, Seungkwan hums. “Sure, hyung."

Turning to the statue, Soonyoung rolls his neck and his arms around in circles, bending his knees repeatedly. It’s not a very large statue but one wrong move can definitely cause him to at least sprain something if he isn’t careful.

He hears Seungkwan scoff behind him. “You aren’t running a marathon, Hoshi. Calm down."

Soonyoung turns to glare at him. “If you wanna do this, be my guest."

Seungkwan mimics him annoyingly before turning back to keep guard. Soonyoung takes the initiative to climb on the altar, repeating a series of_I’m sorry’s_ under his breath to nobody in particular. He just wants to seem respectful. Another round of snorts make it through the link.

Making sure his socked feet won’t slip off from the little space he’s standing on, he reaches up and grips at the statue’s arms securely. Testing the waters, he places his feet on its thigh and hoists himself up, grunting in surprise when he nearly slips. Inhaling sharply, there’s a sudden ache in his chest, abrupt. He almost doubles over, stunned.

_“Everything okay so far?”_ Wonwoo’s voice comes through.

“Peachy,” answers Soonyoung, not really sure what that was.

It’s quiet for a moment as he tries to focus his concentration on not slipping and potentially banging his head on the floor beneath him. He takes a glance at the statue’s palms and sees a plain white envelope laying on the heel of it. Just as he’s about to reach over, Jeonghan’s voice suddenly rings through the link, sounding worried.

_“Woozi-ah, what’s wrong?"_

Soonyoung pauses, instantly distracted at the sound of Jihoon’s code name. 

_“Nothing...Nothing, hyung,”_ says Jihoon. _“I think it’s just a stomach ache."_

He sounds breathless and a little pained, like he’s constipated. But for some odd reason, Soonyoung feels as though he was listening to a siren singing. Jihoon’s voice is so soothing, and he wonders how it would sound like calling his name again. 

_ Soonyoung... _

_ Soonie... _

_...Alpha..._

Frowning at his thoughts, Soonyoung readjusts his grip on the statue and tries to focus on the task at hand. His hands are suddenly sweating way too quickly. Using one foot to gently push himself off, he leans his weight on his left foot and tries to reach for the envelope, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

_“You sure? You feel...warm,”_ is what Jeonghan murmurs next. _“You’re not getting sick, are you? That’s pretty bad timing."_

_“You’re sweating, hyung,”_ Chan mutters quietly. _“It’s not even that hot."_

_“What’s going on there?”_ Joshua’s voice comes in after. _“Is Woozi okay?"_

Soonyoung almost slips off again, inhaling sharply as he catches himself by the statue’s elbow. He sees Seungkwan eye him worriedly through his peripheral vision but he readjusts his grip once more and stretches his body across, fingers grazing the statue’s wrists. There’s a pulsing in his neck, one that’s becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the more he stretches.

_“I don’t know,”_ answers Jeonghan._ “We’re in the bus and the AC is on but he’s somehow sweating."_

There’s a sigh._ “I’m fine,”_ Jihoon says curtly, sounding nauseous. _“I think — I think I just need to take my jacket off — _ _Shit."_

Soonyoung’s grip tightens on the statue, alarmed. Suddenly he feels a little too warm and it’s only then does he notice the sweat rolling down the back of his neck. Blinking the haziness away, he reaches a little farther, barely grazing the envelope with his fingertips. He’s so close.

_“Yah, what — Woozi, what’s going on?”_ It’s Wonwoo’s voice this time, sounding panicked. _“Oh my god, you...your scent..."_

There’s flitters of panicked phrases that filter through the link like a waterfall, murmurs overlapping each other until everyone’s voice just begins to blend together into a nonsense discussion. Even Minghao, one of the more quieter members of the group, has joined in.

Soonyoung, despite his body almost resembling that of a horizontal line, growls an unusually irritated, “What the hell is going on over there?!"

His voice comes out unexpectedly dominating, surprising even himself. It catches everyone’s attention, however, and the murmurs die down abruptly. For a moment, he thinks everyone is someone involved in a prank that he’s the victim of, but the sudden searing attacking his abdomen immediately distracts him from the thought.

He doubles over, losing his grip on the statue. His fingertips, which had hovered a few millimeters on top of the edge of the envelope, fall down with him, somehow effectively tipping it off the palms of the statue. The envelope flutters to the ground like those tickets you try to win at the booths, but Soonyoung feels anything but victorious.

Groaning, Soonyoung collapses on the ground, nearly hitting the side of his head on the altar in the process. The pain in his abdomen is almost unbearable, attacking in pulses of two’s and three’s, but where his abdomen is writhing in agony, his neck is also burning with an intense throbbing. He keels over himself, and he suddenly feels as though he can’t breathe.

“Hyung!” Seungkwan exclaims, alarmed.

Soonyoung vaguely hears footsteps running up to where he is, but his ears are ringing with all the aching sensations he’s feeling. He doesn’t know what’s going on, or why this unusual pain is coming on so abruptly, but then he hears it.

It’s a whimper through the line, high-pitched and eerily familiar. It’s accompanied by a sniffle and another high-pitched whine, then a sob that has Soonyoung’s heart breaking apart.

_“Soonie..."_

Soonyoung inhales sharply, feeling his pupils dilate at the breathless sound of Jihoon’s voice. The murmurs and panic begin again from everyone else, but Soonyoung tunes them out, ears focusing on the prominent voice of one person.

Jihoon sobs again. _“Soonie..."_

_“Shit, oh my god — “_ Jeonghan shrieks._ “Coups! Coups, guys — come back, quickly! Woozi...I think he’s — he’s going into heat!"_

Heat. 

_Heat. Omega. Mine. Mate._

Those words are the only words that ring through Soonyoung’s head at that. The pain in his abdomen spikes again and he hisses, struggling to hoist himself up. He feels Seungkwan wrap his hands around his arms in an attempt to help but he bats him away, agitated.

_“We’ll be right there,”_ Seungcheol affirms quickly. _“Quick, everyone. Back to the bus. We’ll take Woozi back to a hotel."_

Soonyoung’s ears are still ringing by the time Seungkwan hoists him up with Seungcheol’s distraction. The younger man doesn’t say anything, only grabs the fallen envelope and stuffs it carelessly into his pocket before swinging Soonyoung’s arm around his shoulder.

“Hyung, are you sure?” Seungkwan questions, concerned. “Hoshi’s rut is starting. I don’t think it would be a good idea — "

_“Rut?!”_ Seungcheol’s voice booms incredulously. _“Rut? What rut? Don’t tell me..."_

_“Alpha...!"_

Soonyoung feels his breathing becoming labored, feeling his pants becoming way too constricted in the span of time it takes for Jihoon to say his title. His mate sounds so incredibly tortured, voice wrecked and the occasional high-pitched whimpers escaping him and into the earpiece link.

“Kwan,” Soonyoung breathes, clutching onto Seungkwan’s leg tightly. “I need — I need to go to Woozi..."

Jihoon lets out another sob that has his ears ringing.

_“Do not let Hoshi back on the bus,”_ Seungcheol says firmly, and those words do not sit well with Soonyoung. _“Whatever you do. We cannot afford to have an accidental mating now."_

Soonyoung doesn’t realize he’s growling until Seungkwan squeezes his bicep. He knows Seungcheol has no idea about what had happened for the past few years but still — Soonyoung doesn’t like it.

_“No...”_ whimpers Jihoon. _“No...want...H-Hoshi...!"_

_“No, Woozi,”_ Seungcheol denies again. _“It’s just your pheromones talking. Jisoo and I are almost there. DK, Gyu?"_

_“We’re coming as quickly as we can, hyung,”_ responds Mingyu.

_“Running right now,”_ Seokmin adds.

That also doesn’t sit well with Soonyoung. Having Seungcheol attending to the bus as an alpha didn’t please him from the start but now that Mingyu will be there too, he sees his vision turning red at the thought. At the thought of more alphas crowding into Jihoon’s space. Inhaling his sweet scent. Seeing him leak slick.

_“Kwan, whatever you do, bring Hoshi somewhere secluded,”_ orders Seungcheol. _“Far away from the temple you’re at. Don’t bring attention to yourselves."_

Soonyoung can see the way Seungkwan bites his lip, seemingly conflicted. He knows what the omega is thinking — help reunite him with Jihoon, or prevent him from making any decisions he might regret.

“I...” Seungkwan begins. “Hyung, I don’t — "

Deciding to make the choice easy for the omega, Soonyoung takes matters into his own hands.

He runs.

He almost stumbles on the steps going down but he keeps running. With his rut having started, his sense of smell is heightened, instantly catching on to the floral smell of Jihoon’s lavender scent. He can hear Seungkwan screaming at him through the link but he ignores it, mind focused on one thing and one thing only.

To get to Jihoon.

He zooms past tourists like he’s running a marathon, catching them off-guard with murmurs of confusion. He pays them no heed, vision blurry and hearing blocked out as the bus begins to show in his field of vision.

The closer he gets, the stronger the smell becomes, something sweet and floral that wraps around his nose like a vine. Just as he makes it a few feet away from the door of the bus, something hard shoves him rather abruptly, causing him to almost sam into the side of the bus.

Whipping around in agitation, he growls, “What the fuck?"

Seungcheol is there, standing protectively in front of the door, legs spread apart and shoulders broad with dominance. Behind him, Joshua sneaks into the bus quickly, Seokmin and Mingyu following suite in a cautious manner. Upon the sight, Soonyoung feels his hackles raise with envy.

“Stand down, Hoshi,” Seungcheol demands, ready to pounce on him at any given moment. “You’re in a rut — "

“I know that,” snaps Soonyoung, straightening back up with restlessness seeping into his limbs, “so let me in! Woozi is in a fucking heat — "

“You are not in your right mind!” Seungcheol says fiercely, eyes narrowing. “It’s your hormones talking. Whatever you’re both going through, you can deal with it yourselves. I will not have you two mate accidentally, especially with the mission going on. That’s stupid."

Soonyoung feels a swell of anger within him. “It’s not stupid,” he retorts. “Woozi needs me — "

“Back off, Hoshi,” Seungcheol growls, stepping closer. “I won’t say it again."

It sure as hell feels like a competition, one that Soonyoung is determined to win. He settles his feet on the ground firmly, fists clenching by his sides and motivation fueled by the challenge. Before he can do anything, Jeonghan’s head pops out worriedly, looking nothing like the calm demeanor he usually is.

“Hate to break it to you,” the omega says, “but Woozi’s starting to...leak, uh, slick. Like, a lot. We need to take him to a hotel asap."

“He’s leaking what — "

Soonyoung takes the distraction and dashes past Seungcheol and Jeonghan into the bus, knees buckling at how sweet the air is inside. He braces himself against the driver’s seat weakly, breaths turning into quick pants that has his chest feeling so incredibly heavy with desire.

Raising his head, his pupils dilate as they zero on Jihoon, who’s lying curled up in a ball all the way in the back seat. Hair disheveled, face flushed pink, tears streaming down his face, and lips quivering nervously, he’s a sight to anyone passing by. There’s a blanket over his body but Soonyoung doesn’t have time to appreciate that.

His eyes travel to the end of the blanket, where a stream of slick leaks steadily underneath it, falling from the edge of the seat and pooling in the large puddle underneath.

Soonyoung’s breath hitches at the sight just as Jihoon’s eyes find his, sparkling with fresh new tears at the sight of him.

“Soonie...” Jihoon sobs, head raising weakly. “Soonie — alpha — alpha, please."

But before Soonyoung can take another step, someone seizes his arms from behind and manhandles him against the glass window, startling him into a growl.

“I told you to fucking stand down, Hoshi!” snarls Seungcheol, bringing his knee to press against Soonyoung’s tailbone. 

“Hyung!” another voice gasps, sounding like they’d ran a mile. It’s Seungkwan. “Coups-hyung, don’t provoke — “ 

“Get the fuck off me!” Soonyoung interrupts with a snarl, twisting his upper half in the hopes that Seungcheol’s grip will slip. “Don’t even try stopping me. Are you stupid?!"

Seungcheol’s grip on his wrists tightens at the blatant disrespect but Soonyoung feels the anger more than the pain. There’s a tugging sensation on his heartstrings, pulling with want and restlessness that has his head turning back to Jihoon in distraught.

“No,” Jihoon pleads desperately, curling tighter into himself. “No fighting, please. Soonyoung..."

Soonyoung feels a sharp sensation in his abdomen, like someone is repeatedly stabbing a knife into his gut mercilessly. When Jihoon cries out simultaneously, the alpha thinks their bond has strengthened momentarily in this time of need. It’s not a nice feeling, but the fact that he can feel Jihoon’s emotions...

The thought of it has his throat tightening up considerably, a familiar heat fighting its way out of his eyes. 

_It’s still there, _he thinks, heart pounding in ecstasy. _It hasn’t faded a single bit._

”Hoshi-hyung,” utters Seungkwan. Soonyoung sees him step inside cautiously. “Hyung, maybe we should — "

_“Tiger,”_ Jihoon chokes around his sob, whimpers loud and piercing.

Soonyoung slackens completely in Seungcheol’s hold, heart in his throat and tears pooling in his eyes. It’s just an incredibly powerful reaction, he wants to convince himself, but it’s so much more than that. It’s not just a pet name; it’s a word that holds so much history behind it, holds their past behind it. It’s a plea in Jihoon’s voice, making the both of them vulnerable to danger.

But Soonyoung can’t find a single ounce in him to care.

He looks back at Jihoon, whose eyes are shut tight with tears clinging to his lashes like he’s waiting for another rejection, another _we’re only friends_ to come out from the alpha’s lips. The smell of his distress weighs heavy in the air, and even Minghao leans away to cover his nose with his shirt.

Jihoon cries out again, flinching. ”Tiger..."

”I’m here,” Soonyoung whispers, heartbroken. “I’m here, kitten. I’m here."

The smell of lavender permeates the air strongly, and then the smell of relief follows soon after. Jihoon shivers like he’s cold, eyes fluttering open, and the puddle of slick beneath him rapidly expands.

“Cheol,” comes Jeonghan’s soft voice. “Cheol, let him go."

Soonyoung vaguely sees Seungcheol turn his head to look at his mate incredulously. “But he — “

“He’s not gonna do anything,” Jeonghan reassures. “He won’t let himself. Trust me."

After a few moments of quietness, Seungcheol’s grip loosens before he lets go of Soonyoung completely. The older alpha takes a step back, posture tense and looking ready to hold him down if it’s ever needed.

With trembling legs, Soonyoung turns around and stumbles through the aisle like a drunkard, senses loaded with lavender and mind overwhelmed with  _ Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon.  _ He can feel his wolf itching to reveal itself and he pauses his movements, eyes narrowing as he struggles to contain the beast inside of him. 

Jihoon seems to take his pause as a change of mind, because he whimpers again anxiously.

“Shhh,” hushes Soonyoung, taking another slow step forward.

He doesn’t say anything else, concentrating on taming his wolf until it settles down again, more or less annoyed. It takes a few more long seconds but when he finally, finally reaches Jihoon, he sinks on his knees in front of the seat desperately, not noticing the slick that soaks onto his knees.

Jihoon’s breath seems to have gotten a lot more heavier, pupils dilated to the point where Soonyoung can’t make out the brown around them. His eyes are still pooled with tears but they look more clear, more certain.

Hesitantly, Soonyoung raises his hand towards Jihoon’s face. Consent is what he’s waiting for and though his rut is lurking inside him and making him restless, he’s not worried about himself. 

It seems to take a few seconds to process in Jihoon’s mind but Soonyoung sees the exact moment recognition flits through his eyes. The omega leans his head forward until his forehead meets with Soonyoung’s palm, and ever-so-gently, he brushes his lips against the heel of it.

_You have my heart._

It’s also in that exact moment does Jihoon shudder violently, back arching as a long, drawn out moan escapes his throat. Soonyoung feels his pants tighten considerably when the smell of something sweeter than slick permeates the air.

Turning around quickly and carding his hand through Jihoon’s hair when the omega whines at the lost of contact, he stares defiantly at his stunned group members, then at their baffled leader. His voice is authoritative and demanding when he speaks, but he couldn’t care less about that.

“Get us to a hotel. _Now."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we all just take a second to appreciate Jihoon’s cover of Bye Bye My Blue? I actually cried when he sang the chorus. His voice really is like an angel :,( Also added that song to my playlist, hehe
> 
> And Soonhoon being the MC’s for If. I’m loving the series so far.
> 
> And thank you Soonyoung for feeding us pics of Seungcheol :,) Soonyoung best boy.
> 
> And if y’all are thinking the smut is coming next chapter, y’all are wrong teehee
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Hoshi, status?” calls Seungkwan.
> 
> “We’ve got it,” Soonyoung says breathlessly, ducking low when a rogue flies at him with a knife in his hand. “We’re making it back to the buses right — WOOZI-YAH!"
> 
> It all happens in slow motion. He watches as the rogue tackles Jihoon to the ground mercilessly, face contorted into an ugly victorious snarl with a dagger raised. The force is enough to knock the gun and the case out of Jihoon’s hands, and Soonyoung is frozen as he watches the dagger come down.
> 
> Pain explodes in his side and he almost doubles over from the force of it, but it doesn’t equate to the amount of pain he feels when he sees Jihoon’s mouth open with a gasp, or when he sees the omega’s hands clutch at the wound, helplessly trying to kick the rogue off.
> 
> The searing begins to climb its way to Soonyoung's chest, embedding itself until its nothing but a growing fire inside him. He can’t feel the pain anymore but instead, a burning passion to kill.
> 
> Soonyoung sees red.


	24. Apotheosis - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apotheosis  
/əˌpäTHēˈōsəs/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the highest point in the development of something; culmination or climax
> 
> 2\. the elevation of someone to divine status; deification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I suck at writing action scenes, sorry in advance.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**WAREHOUSE**

**July 14, 2017**

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

Everywhere Soonyoung looks, it’s chaos. Yelling and screams pierce through the air like an arrow, whizzing past his senses like no one’s business. There’s blood too — so much blood. It stains the dirt beneath him and turns it a darker hue, and it splatters over his vest as he contracts his knife from a rogue.

He doesn’t have time to stare at the man who collapses on the floor like a rag doll. The last thing he sees is the rogue’s wide eyes and blood spewing out of his mouth like a waterfall. The sight is sickening but he’s used to it.

His head whips up quickly after that, eyes immediately searching for Jihoon almost unconsciously. The omega is fighting off another rogue with a glare so fierce, Soonyoung becomes distracted. 

“Hoshi-yah!” Jihoon yells as he ducks beneath the woman’s swipe. “Behind you!"

Senses tingling, he whirls around and seizes another rogue’s wrist, knife in his hand and ready to stab. With a kick to his stomach, the rogue is sent flying backwards with a startled yelp, knife slipping from his grasp. Soonyoung wastes no time into pouncing on him, snatching the knife and using the rogue’s weapon against him.

Breathing heavily, he whirls around to face Jihoon again, just in time to see the espionage stab her in the gut. The woman’s screams are piercing but Jihoon is relentless, eyes narrowed with sheer determination as he swings his fist back and punches her square in the jaw. The woman falls to the ground, unconscious as she bleeds to death.

Soonyoung runs up to him, hands itching to reach out and make sure his mate is okay, throat burning to ask if he’s alright, but he doesn’t do any of that.

Instead, he grunts, “Stay close to me. We need to get to the other side."

Jihoon nods, looking rather irritated but follows Soonyoung as they both sprint their way across the battlefield, taking on rogues along the way.

The land they’re on is big and it feels like they’ve been running for miles, adrenaline catching up to Soonyoung quickly. The chaos doesn’t stop and he’s only getting tunnel vision the more he focuses on the destination they’re supposed to go.

In the distance, he vaguely sees his team members moving through the swarms of rogues together, watching every side of the little circle they had formed. 

_“RM-hyung, status,”_ Seungcheol’s voice comes through the line, sounding strained.

This is no easy battle. Everyone is fighting their own enemies out there now and although hearing the voices of his members reassures him they’re still alive, Soonyoung feels a tiny sense of dread at the realization that he can hear his members’ voices. He can hear every growl, snarl, and grunt. Every whimper of pain or cry of help. It scares him.

_“Fifteen minutes,”_ comes Namjoon’s calm and collected voice. _“Bombs are in place. Timer is set. Mini-Hong, status?"_

Hongjoong’s voice crackles through. _“We’re buying you guys some time."_

_“Sounds great right about now,”_ Mingyu huffs through the line, cursing a little soon after. _“We’re being mobbed here. I think we really underestimated how many rogues fall victim to Devil Hour’s control. They just keep coming."_

_“Whatever you do, don’t stop,”_ Seungkwan demands. _“Ho-Woo, status? How far are you from the building?"_

“We’re almost there,” Jihoon responds, on top of Soonyoung’s heels. “I’d say about a handful more rogues until we’re in the clear. How’s it looking, Kwan?"

There’s some clicking through the line and a hum. _“Once you go in, take a left and then run down the hallway,”_ Seungkwan orders. _“There should be a large heavy-duty door with a yellow sign on it. Once you open that, go straight and turn on the second right. The case will be in there."_

“Rogue count, Kwan,” Soonyoung grunts, taking a rogue by his shoulders and kneeing him in the stomach, quickly whipping his knife out to put him down in a pool of blood.

_“Eight,”_ says Seungkwan. _“Three in the room; two with guns, and five out in the halls; three with guns. They have the symbols on their jackets; they’re part of Devil Hour."_

Yoongi’s voice comes through. _“Hoshi,”_ he says firmly. _“Watch over Woozi for me, yeah? Little prick will get himself in trouble if there ain’t eyes on him."_

“Affirmative,” responds Soonyoung, lips curling up when he hears Jihoon scoff.

They battle their way through the bloody battlefield, adrenaline high and determination running steadily in their veins. By the time they make it to the building, the chaos around them had diminished slightly, save for a couple rogues and some alliances fighting. 

Grabbing Jihoon’s wrist, Soonyoung powers forward and busts the door open with his shoulder, hissing at the immediate pain following soon after. He doesn’t have time to check if it’s dislocated, because a bullet whizzes past his face, missing by a couple of centimeters.

Cursing, Jihoon is quick to shove Soonyoung away. Grabbing his pistol from his belt, he skillfully lodges a bullet in the rogue’s chest, effectively causing him to fall to the floor with a disgusting gurgling sound. 

“Try to be a little more careful next time?” retorts Jihoon, glaring at Soonyoung. “Your shoulder?"

“I’ll survive,” Soonyoung says bitterly, pushing Jihoon forward and grabbing his own pistol. “Let’s go. Kwan, status?"

_“They heard the gunshot,”_ replies Seungkwan. _“They’re coming down the hall. Be prepared. There’s four in the room now with the case but they’re on high alert. Your best bet is to start shooting once they open that door."_

Cocking his pistol, Soonyoung aims it towards the door and hears Jihoon do the same. His heart is accelerating and he knows it isn’t just his own. 

For the first time in a long time, he feels nervous. Jihoon is by his side, sure, but they have four rogues coming after them and they have absolutely no protection whatsoever save for their pistols and bulletproof vests. Everything leading up to this moment and the next could be the potential reason of their downfall.

Eyes trained firmly on the door, his ears catch the sound of footsteps. Readjusting his grip on the gun, he inhales deeply just as the door opens, and he lets his hands do the work.

It’s kind of funny, seeing the bodies collapse into a heap as bullets constantly rain down on them. The room is filled with gunshots, making Soonyoung’s ears ring from the close proximity and the loudness. He winces slightly just as the last of the bodies goes down, then realizes all of them are in the way of the door.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jihoon mutters beside him, keeping his gun raised as he steps over the bodies like it’s nothing.

The rogue on top of the pile lets out a weak growl, stupidly raising his gun like he has a chance. Soonyoung is quick to disarm him, shooting him twice in the throat as he makes his way over the pile. The blood beneath them pools beneath their feet rapidly and the room reeks of iron.

Soonyoung walks forward cautiously, reminding himself there’s more danger around the corner. Jihoon follows close behind, head whipping every room they pass.

“Second right,” Jihoon whispers. “They might be armed."

_“They’re behind the table with their pistols raised up,”_ Seungkwan informs them. _“The case is in the lock in the corner. Code is 7-2-6-1-9. Your best bet is a smoke grenade."_

Soonyoung purses his lips, grabbing said smoke grenade from his belt. Turning to Jihoon, he says quietly, “Once this goes off, unlock the code. I’ll try buy you some time but the moment you get the case, you need to run back to Coups."

Jihoon looks at him in disbelief. “And what?” he asks incredulously. “You want me to just leave you here? There’s no way in hell I’m leaving without you."

“I’ll follow after,” reassures Soonyoung. “Remember our priorities, Woozi."

He doesn’t wait to see Jihoon’s reaction before he sneaks forward to the second right door. In one smooth movement, he rolls the grenade inside and hears the loud poof before the room begins to fill with smoke. Jihoon runs past him quickly into the room, and Soonyoung follows after him.

There’s an irritation in his chest, body restless as he sneaks around the table amidst the sound of startled yelling and random gunshot noises. He knows Jihoon isn’t exactly happy about this decision but he reckons the sound of their priorities has the omega keeping his lips shut tight. 

One of the rogues’ feet show up in his view amidst the cloud of smoke everywhere. Quickly, he pounces on him, wraps his hand around his mouth and grabs his knife from his belt, effectively committing a silent kill. He lays the body on the floor and continues crouching to his next target.

“Where the fuck are ya, ya fucker?” one of the rogues growl. “I’m not afraid to shoot, bitch!"

Following the voice, Soonyoung sees another rogue in his sight and proceeds to kill him in the same manner. It’s only then does he realize his mistake.

The third rogue hounds onto him like a bear, teeth bared and pistol aimed towards Soonyoung. Body acting quickly, he kicks the gun from his hand and punches him off, resulting in a threatening snarl.

“Think y’all can just come in ‘ere?” the rogue rasps. “Y’all a stupid kind, ain’t ya? Think you’re tough shit."

Soonyoung vaguely hears the closing of the lock and then a deft thud and he knows Jihoon’s made it out. He needs to make this quick.

“If I’m stupid, then you’re even more so, man,” Soonyoung clicks his tongue, pleased with the way the rogue’s eyes flare in offense. “At least speak Korean properly. No wonder you work in slums like these."

It’s a quick death. The rogue pounces on him with a fierce snarl, knife gripped in his hand tightly and only a few inches from Soonyoung’s face before he grasps on the man’s wrist tightly. Kneeing him in the groin, Soonyoung rolls them around until the rogue is curled up in pain underneath him, and only then does he take the knife and lodge it into the rogue’s heart.

The smoke is beginning to dissipate now and when Soonyoung stands up, he can see that the last rogue has already been killed. Jihoon’s doing.

Without wasting any time, he runs out of the room and follows Jihoon’s lavender scent until he’s back outside. The battlefield is a lot more chaotic than it was before; there’s rogues upon rogues, some with blood spilt and some still ferociously fighting. In the distance, he makes out two black buses and he sighs with relief.

Reinforcements.

Getting back into focus, Soonyoung spots Jihoon running through the chaos with the case in his hand, pistol in the other. He leaps across the stairs quickly, heart racing with adrenaline as he shoots rogues along the way.

_“Hoshi, status?”_ calls Seungkwan.

“We’ve got it,” Soonyoung says breathlessly, ducking low when a rogue flies at him with a knife in his hand. “We’re making it back to the buses right —  _ WOOZI-YAH!" _

It all happens in slow motion. He watches as the rogue tackles Jihoon to the ground mercilessly, face contorted into an ugly victorious snarl with a dagger raised. The force is enough to knock the gun and the case out of Jihoon’s hands, and Soonyoung is frozen as he watches the dagger come down.

Pain explodes in his side and he almost doubles over from the force of it, but it doesn’t equate to the amount of pain he feels when he sees Jihoon’s mouth open with a gasp, or when he sees the omega’s hands clutch at the wound, helplessly trying to kick the rogue off.

The searing begins to climb its way to Soonyoung's chest, embedding itself until its nothing but a growing fire inside him. He can’t feel the pain anymore but instead, a burning passion to kill.

Soonyoung sees red.

With a growl loud enough to shake the grounds, Soonyoung makes his way over to the rogue with an uncontrollable anger flowing out of him. Grabbing the rogue by the back of his collar, he swings his fist back and punches him with all the force he can muster, effectively snapping the man’s neck and killing him instantly.

He doesn’t stop there though. With every rogue that comes within ten feet of Jihoon, he’s on them in an instant, rage completely taking over his body and controlling it until he’s lost himself completely. He can vaguely hear his teammates yelling status to him, but he can’t find it within himself to care.

“Hoshi,” he hears Jihoon rasp.

Turning around after throwing yet another rogue aside, Soonyoung sees Jihoon struggling to stand up, face twisted with pain and dagger still in his side. His hands are bloody and wet from trying to cover the wound but from what Soonyoung can see, it isn’t doing much.

He goes to help him up but Jihoon shakes his head, pointing at the case.

“The case,” he grunts. “Get the case. Remember our priorities, Hoshi."

_Fuck priorities, _ Soonyoung wants to say.  _Fuck this whole mission and fuck our priorities._

But he doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he nods and makes a dash towards the case, grabbing it before returning to Jihoon, who’s already standing on his own two feet albeit a little unsteadily.

“Go,” says Jihoon, voice tight. “Get to the bus and put the case in. Don’t worry about me — "

“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m leaving you here.” Soonyoung’s voice comes out unexpectedly deep with a hint of a growl between every word he says. “We’re going back together. You need to get treated."

He doesn’t let Jihoon retort before he’s shoving his pistol in his hands, picking him up with his other arm by his thighs and throwing him over his shoulder, mindful of his wound. The omega lets out a startled yelp, clutching tight on the back of Soonyoung’s vest as the alpha takes off towards the bus, not stopping for anything.

_“Hoshi-yah!”_ yells Seungcheol. _“Status?"_

“We’re heading back to the bus,” growls Soonyoung. He’s still angry but the shared contact with Jihoon is enough to calm him down a little. “Woozi got stabbed. Kwan, get the medical supplies ready."

_“He got what?!”_ exclaims Yoongi. _“I swear to god, Hoshi, if this happened because of you — "_

“I’m not a fucking child!” Jihoon exclaims, voice wobbling from the force of Soonyoung’s running. “It’s my own goddamn fault, okay?! I wasn’t careful. Hoshi’s bringing me back with the case."

Soonyoung can hear Jihoon shooting behind them and pushes himself a little faster. He can feel Jihoon’s blood seeping into his shoulder and he grits his teeth. The bus isn’t too far away now but he feels as though he’s been running forever.

_“Alright then,”_ says Seungcheol. _“Everyone pack it up now and get in the buses. RM-hyung, how much time left?"_

Namjoon replies swiftly, _“Two minutes."_

Soonyoung sees his teammates all piling into the buses, yelling orders at each other while trying to kill the remaining rogues they can. Their plan hadn’t gone as neatly or as planned as they thought it would and it seems they’re facing the consequences.

“Get in! Get in!” Seungcheol yells at them from the driver’s seat.

The windows on the bus are rolled down and Soonyoung can see Mingyu, Seokmin, and Chan all firing at the rogues stubbornly trying to get them. With a sudden burst of energy, Soonyoung hops onto the steps just as the doors close. There’s a loud banging behind them but he’s not focused on that now.

Quickly, Soonyoung makes his way across the aisle and to the back, eyes unfocused as he lays Jihoon down across the seats and throws the case on the floor.

“Kwan,” he nearly snarls. “Kwan, medic. Now."

Seungkwan is a flurry of movements, health kits in his hands as he attends to Jihoon. Soonyoung stays close behind him, senses high on alert as he watches Seungkwan swiftly take the dagger out of Jihoon’s side. He barely feels the pain but he reckons it’s because he’s still a little traumatized.

Jihoon groans at the feeling, curling in on himself as Seungkwan continues to patch him up. Only when Jihoon’s sounds of pains die down does Soonyoung finally plop on the seat beside him, adrenaline catching up to him and making him thoroughly exhausted.

There’s a faint explosion from behind them, and that’s when Soonyoung knows their mission is over.

_“Seventeen, status?”_ comes Namjoon’s voice after a few seconds of silence through the line.

“Alive,” replies Seungcheol, a little sarcastic. “One severely injured but Diva’s attending to him now. Case is safe in the back."

_“Ateez, status?"_

_“None severely injured,”_ Hongjoong replies. _“A few bruises here and there but nothing we won’t heal from."_

Sinking against the seat, Soonyoung tries to get rid of the headache slowly pounding into his temple. They’ve gotten the job done, they blew the place up, they got the case, everyone’s alive...so why does he still feel like he hasn’t accomplished anything?

When he looks back at Jihoon, with his wound still needing to be patched up and blood smeared on the seat, he thinks he knows why.

_Because the next time something like this happens, it’ll be more than just a stab wound._

—

** FLAT 13B **

**July 22, 2017**

**Location:** Incheon, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Seoknam-dong

It’s been eight days since the mission blew over, eight days since the incident. Everything should’ve returned back to normal yet everything is but. 

For one, it’s just been endless work of going back to Nae-ri two days later to discard the bodies and put them to rest, to inform families of lost loved ones with help from reinforcements. It’s been ongoing workload of reconstructing the warehouse they had bombed and replacing it with plans of a new mall. It’s been taking time away from the trauma they’ve been through and letting the chaotic ocean flow into a lazy river.

And for Jihoon, it’s none of the above. It’s been trying to talk to Soonyoung and getting his alpha to open up about his feelings. It’s been words of hostility without a trace of affection. It’s been arguments and fights like an endless cycle of anger left untreated from the battle. It’s been feeling like losing the person he loves most to an aspect he’s the least skilled at — communication.

Right after the battle, he’d been taken to the hospital his mother worked at and was quarantined in a separate room, away from the public eye. He’d gotten a good two hours of lecture from his birth giver before he was given the go, with very strict instructions to be careful next time lest he wants to live back in Busan with her.

They headed back to Incheon afterwards and for the most part, the trip had been quiet, everyone catching up with the day’s event and generally exhausted.

Soonyoung had been scarily silent throughout the ride, opting to stare out the window with a blank look on his face. Jihoon hadn’t been able to feel his emotions then and hadn’t really bothered trying. He’d been tired and the stab wound wasn’t very helpful.

Even when they entered their shared flat, Soonyoung still hasn’t said a word to him, opting to gently push Jihoon in the direction of their bedroom like he was some sort of kindergartener needing encouragement from his parents. Except they’re mates, and Soonyoung wasn’t talking to him.

Jihoon stupidly believed he’d just been a little traumatized. Really, who would when you’ve just seen your mate stabbed? 

He’d opted not to say anything either, wanting to give Soonyoung as much space as he needed to recover. Instead, he’d showered briskly and lied in bed covered in Soonyoung’s clothes, hoping it would comfort his alpha when he saw him.

But Soonyoung hadn’t said anything when he’d gotten out of the shower a few minutes after Jihoon did. Instead, he’d gotten in bed and let Jihoon curl up against him, hair damp against his chest and exhaustion settling deep into their bones.

Jihoon thought everything was okay then, that they would be okay.

But it wasn’t.

It was like every day after that just kept getting progressively worse. It wasn’t subtle at all; Jihoon noticed it when Soonyoung blatantly ignored him when he asked a question. He noticed it when Soonyoung pointedly avoided his gaze when he tried talking to him. 

Jihoon doesn’t know why but he knows he needs to fix this soon, before their relationship would crumble.

So when Soonyoung opens the door of their bedroom after a long day of making phone calls to organizations in charge of funerals and phoning back Namjoon and Seungcheol in regards of tasks needed to be done, Jihoon doesn’t waste any time in hounding him.

“We need to talk,” is what he says. Short and sweet.

Soonyoung doesn’t even glance at him, just lays back on the bed and closes his eyes.

_Okay._

Jihoon scoots closer, poking his alpha’s side. “Did you hear me? I said we need to talk."

Soonyoung, without opening his eyes, swats Jihoon’s hand away with irritation. “I know what you said,” he grunts. “Tomorrow."

Pursing his lips, Jihoon stays quiet for a moment, just studying Soonyoung. His alpha’s face is pale from exhaustion, dark rings around his eyes and lips chapped. His eyebrows are furrowed like he’s uncomfortable, like he’s been thinking too much and can’t relax. Jihoon wants to take his worries away but they need to talk first and it can’t wait until tomorrow.

“No, we need to talk now,” he says firmly. “You’ve been avoiding me."

Soonyoung peeks an eye open at him, then closes it and hums lazily.

Jihoon feels a twinge of irritation pluck at his heartstrings. It’s one thing to be tired, but it’s another to blatantly act like he doesn’t care. Soonyoung can at least answer honestly instead of humming.

“Talk to me,” Jihoon says, reaching out to rest a hand on Soonyoung’s bicep. “Tell me what’s wrong, please. Did I do something? Why are you avoiding me?"

Instead of answering, Soonyoung hums again. 

The twinge of irritation is slowly beginning to turn into something more. Jihoon had been nothing but lenient and cautious ever since Nae-ri happened, but now that everything is over and they don’t have much to worry about anymore, Soonyoung hasn’t been very accepting of his advances.

Jihoon thought his alpha would’ve finally took the time to relax with him, to return his unusual acts of affections with his own warmth. He thought Soonyoung’s odd cold and aloof phase was because of the mission, because he’d been nervous something would happen, but with Nae-ri done and over with, it doesn’t seem to have passed.

“Soonyoung,” he says, voice laced with frustration. “I’m serious. Answer me."

With another irritated look aimed at Jihoon, Soonyoung finally sits up and leans over his knees, hands running through his already disheveled hair. His eyebrows are furrowed, eyes glaring at the floor like he’s thinking hard about something.

He looks at Jihoon then. “This isn’t working for us, Jihoon."

Jihoon blinks. Once. Twice. If it weren’t for how serious Soonyoung looks, he would’ve laughed and played it off as a joke, but his alpha’s expression is straight, unmoving. He knows Soonyoung has always been a very expressive person, someone who wore their heart on their sleeve. But now Soonyoung’s heart is tucked inside, hidden from view and from Jihoon’s eyes.

A dreadful feeling drops on Jihoon like a bomb. For a moment, he almost wishes he hadn’t asked what was wrong but he’d been dying to know why Soonyoung had been acting the way he’d been. The feeling grapples onto his heart and tugs, tugs, tugs, until it’s squeezing it from how forceful it is.

“What isn’t working for us?” he asks carefully, making sure they’re on the same grounds.

Soonyoung looks away from him. “This whole...thing between us,” he says, hand gesturing between them. “It’s just not working for me."

Jihoon can feel his heartbeat escalate from the fear beginning to take over him, hazing his senses slightly. This had been the last thing on his mind when he thought of all the possibilities Soonyoung might’ve been thinking about. 

Trying to calm himself down, he says, “Tell me what isn’t working for you. Did I do something?"

He watches Soonyoung stand up and start pacing back and forth. With every second that passes with Soonyoung not saying anything, the more the fear consumes him. It hugs his limbs like vines, holding him in place as if he’d been put under Medusa’s spell. 

“It’s just everything, Jihoon,” Soonyoung half-sighs, half-growls. “Even before Nae-ri, we just...weren’t working anymore."

The vines hug tighter. “What do you mean?” asks Jihoon, a mantra of keep calm, keep calm, keep calm running through his head. 

“You know what I mean,” Soonyoung snaps, facing him. “The constant arguments and the ignoring...it was all there. None of this is worth it anymore. I’m just tired of — of having to watch over someone constantly, y’know? It doesn’t help that you got stabbed too."

“What?” Jihoon questions incredulously, eyes narrowing as he stands up. “So you’re saying this whole thing — our relationship falling apart — is my fault?” He scoffs. “If I remember correctly, I wasn’t the one ignoring my mate just because I was ‘tired.’ I can handle myself — "

“Really?” snorts Soonyoung. “Last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who got fucking stabbed!"

“We had a mission to carry out!” Jihoon retaliates, feeling frustration and anger beginning to take over. “We had priorities to keep track of! I’m not gonna risk failing the mission just ‘cause I was too fucking scared to fight back. I got stabbed, big deal, so what? I’m healing now; I don’t understand the problem."

“The problem is I’m not feeling anything for you anymore!” exclaims Soonyoung.

Jihoon nearly stumbles back from the force of Soonyoung’s words, eyes widening at the irritated expression on the alpha’s face. He would’ve thought Soonyoung was lying, but with the way his own heart is throbbing in pain, it feels so sickeningly real.

“Is this because I got stabbed?” Jihoon asks quietly. “This — This isn’t funny, Soonyoung."

“Even before Nae-ri, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore,” Soonyoung counters, rubbing a hand down his face. “You noticed it too, don’t lie. The constant fighting? The ignoring? I wasn’t oblivious to what I was doing, Jihoon. I was doing it on purpose."

The stab wound Jihoon had gotten during the mission hurt a lot, but Soonyoung’s words are like a thousand blades piercing through him painfully slowly. His chest constricts in an abnormal way, heartbeat rising and increasing his fear. 

Soonyoung goes on, voice quiet. “Bonding was a mistake. I’m sorry, Jihoon, but I think we should end our relationship.” 

Silence.

Brain unable to comprehend what just happened, Jihoon stares at Soonyoung in disbelief, trying to make sure his ears are working right. Surely, he hadn’t lost any of his hearing because of the bombs, right?

But Soonyoung is staring at him, eyes unwavering and lips pursed tightly like he doesn’t know what else to say.

Jihoon wants to laugh, maybe even cry. Maybe just crawl in a hole and die. His mind is cluttered, the complete opposite from his usual organized thoughts. His constricting chest begins to burn, spreading to his shoulders and down his torso, until he’s completely encased in a heat completely unfamiliar to him.

“Come again?” he utters.

Soonyoung sighs, limbs slow as he takes a step back. “We — We aren’t working anymore, Jihoon. I’m just — I think it’s for the best if we end it."

“What happened, Soonyoung?” Jihoon bursts, emotions suddenly going haywire. “Tell me what’s going on through that goddamn stupid brain of yours that makes you think we aren’t working. Just talk to me! Talk to me so we can fix this!"

Soonyoung shakes his head, looking very much regretful yet determined. “We’re just not working, Jihoon, that’s all to it. The weeks before Nae-ri...when you noticed I started ignoring you and avoiding you as much as possible, that’s when I really started falling out of my feelings."

Jihoon feels his eyes shake, flickering back and forth between Soonyoung’s, who won’t look at him. He hopes this is all a dream, that someone will manage the courage to pinch him or slap his face and tell him he’s hallucinating.

“So this is it then?” he questions softly. “We’re just...done."

Soonyoung shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m moving out by next week if it helps — "

“No. Fuck you, Kwon,” Jihoon spits, eyes welling with tears as he makes a move towards the door. “You don’t get the fucking right to make this any easier. If anything, I should be the one leaving your sorry ass behind, but does that make me feel any better about myself? No, because I still love you, even with what just happened five seconds ago."

He opens the door and without looking back, says, “Whatever happens in the future...it better be fucking worth it."

He walks away without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW! I’m back from my two-week hiatus and soooooo many things have been going on.
> 
> First and foremost, thank you to everyone who’s been waiting for this update and thank you for understanding! I’ve received so much love from you guys and I’m truly grateful to have such amazing readers ;-; and sorry if some of the scenes sucked in this chapter. I suck at writing action scenes, did I mention?
> 
> Anyway, now we finally know what happened in Nae-ri and what happened after that made SY and JH break up. I tried adding detail to make it seem like I know what I’m doing but I honestly don’t, teehee.
> 
> Also, the Soonhoon content we’re getting is really getting me well fed, hehe. Jihoon, I see you liking matching outfits with Soonyoung, don’t lie.
> 
> Also, SVT on WeVerse. Ugh, they bring their chaos wherever they go, don’t they? They’re really treating it like they’re own group chat. THE APP CRASHED BECAUSE OF THEM TOO, OMG.
> 
> Also, Soonyoung’s Horanghae song and cover of DAY6’s “You Were Beautiful,” ugh, what a legend. I love him sm. The members must be so bored in the dorm, hehehe. OML, what if we get another album produced because of how bored they are? o3o
> 
> SPEAKING OF ALBUM, FALLIN’ FLOWER TEASER WAS AMAZING AND SO SO SOOOOOO PRETTY ;-; Omg, all the signs from their previous MV’s, like Minghao and Soonyoung’s MY I recreation, the mirrors from Fear, the camera from Jeonghan’s Al1 teaser that Jihoon was holding...God, I can’t wait until the full MV comes out :(
> 
> Also, the spread of the virus is really hitting heavy now. Please stay inside unless you really have to go out, and if you do, wear protective clothing and remember social distancing! It’s kinda funny how I’m a homebody, but the moment the government says we have to stay home, I wanna go out? Weird.
> 
> And please DO NOT HOARD things for people who actually need them. Donate medical equipment to your local hospital if you can, anything helps. Masks, gloves, sanitizers, etc. There are people who are putting their own health on the line for the betterment of others, and we owe it to them to do our part and stay home.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Next chapter is also a rollercoaster :)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Soon — “ he stutters. “Soonyoung — Soonyoung...alpha..."
> 
> Soonyoung can feel his pupils dilate at the sound of Jihoon’s breathy voice, calling his title so seductively. He clenches his fists tightly, remembering the situation they’re in. His mate is in a heat, he’s in a rut, they have a mission yet to be accomplished. He’s not sure what to do without fucking everything up.
> 
> “Jihoon,” he rasps, voice deep and shaky. “Jihoon, maybe we shouldn’t — "
> 
> “No!” Jihoon cries, rocking back into his hand and peering at Soonyoung with those teary eyes. “No! You promised...alpha, you promised you’d take care of me! Alpha, please...” He breaks out into a heart-wrenching sob. “You said — you said you’d try. You said...you’d try if I’m feeling insecure, so...so why — why don’t you want to?"
> 
> Soonyoung sucks in a breath as Jihoon sobs into his forearm, hand falling onto the bed and hips weakly bucking up into nothing.
> 
> “You...you don’t want me anymore?”


	25. Nexus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nexus  
/ˈneksəs/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a connection or series of connections linking two or more things
> 
> 2\. a connected group or series
> 
> 3\. the central and most important point or place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, well.
> 
> 9K worth of smut, now this fic is over 100K words *sob*
> 
> :)
> 
> READ AT YOUR OWN VIEWER’S DISCRETION.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL  
**

**JULY 22, 2019 **

**Location:** Uiseong, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Bibong-ri

“Five minutes,” Seungcheol says, posture tense and eyes glued to the road. “We’ll be there in five."

Soonyoung grits his teeth as Jihoon pants into his neck, forehead adorned with beads of sweat and pupils dilated to the point where you couldn’t see his brown orbs. The occasional whimper and whine escapes his lips, clearly indicating how much distress he’s in because of his state. He’s a complete wreck yet so enticing all the same.

Seungcheol had wasted no time in starting the engine and driving away from the temples. The group had settled down rather quickly after that, all exchanging silent conversations with their eyes, like they couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Ignoring them, Soonyoung sat down beside Jihoon’s head and ushered his omega into his lap, completely unprepared for how exactly strong the sensations would be. It was almost rather embarrassing how quick his erection had built up in his terribly restricting pants, but Jihoon’s vulnerability was all he cared about.

A gush of slick suddenly dampens Soonyoung’s thigh, the sweet lavender scent completely encasing the bus and causing the rest of the group to stiffen with tension in front of them. His grip tightens around Jihoon’s waist, the familiar feeling of restlessness creeping up on his limbs as he uses all of his willpower to not lose control.

“Sorry.” Jihoon’s voice is airy, a little raspy with a slight tremor building up like he’s nervous. “I’m sorry...It’s so hard...to keep it in. I’m sorry..."

Soonyoung sucks in a breath at that, hands shaking with the amount of energy he’s trying to hold in. He knows he’s got much more control than this but for some reason, the pull towards Jihoon is so much stronger than he remembers. Maybe it’s a result of having held back for so long.

“Let go, Jihoon,” Soonyoung murmurs riskily. “You’re gonna start hurting if you keep it in."

He feels Jihoon inhale sharply against his collarbone, and Soonyoung feels the tiniest trickle of slick on his thigh. He bites down hard on the inside of his cheek, keeping his hands steady where it is holding Jihoon against him.

“Your pants...” Jihoon says weakly, despite more slick beginning to flow out of him. “What about...your pants...?"

“You think I give a shit about my pants now?” Soonyoung asks, voice beginning to deepen with the amount of slick and sweet lavender permeating the air. “Come on, kitten."

The pet name is what seems to make Jihoon relax completely, because he lets out a shaky sigh and nuzzles his nose into Soonyoung’s scent gland, whimpers still leaving his throat quietly.

The alpha feels a ridiculous amount of slick beginning to coat his front, erection twitching with interest against Jihoon’s bottom. The omega moans breathlessly, unconsciously grinding down against him and causing Soonyoung to swear under his breath, struggling to keep his own hips from bucking up.

“Cheol, how much longer?” His voice strains, and he tilts his head when Jihoon begins placing small wet kisses against his neck. 

“One,” Seungcheol says curtly, eyes glued to the road. 

Soonyoung wraps the blanket tighter around them, shielding their indecency, but it does nothing to cover up the slick beginning to pool underneath the seat like a waterfall. Seungcheol will probably make him clean that up later but for now, he’s got something — or rather, someone — else to worry about.

“Kwan,” he grunts when Jihoon begins rutting against his thigh. “Kwan, the bag. Where’s the bag?"

“It’s above you to your left, hyung,” Seungkwan says without turning around, ears red. “All the...uh, necessities are there, and some extra clothes."

Soonyoung gasps when a particularly rough road bump causes his and Jihoon’s erections to grind against each other. The omega shudders, eyes rolling to the back of his head as another long, drawn-out cry escapes him. The familiar sweet smell of his release has the knot in Soonyoung’s stomach treading very thinly, threatening to snap any moment.

“We’re here,” Seungcheol says abruptly as soon as the bus stops. “Get inside quickly. Just focus on taking care of Woozi; don’t worry about the bus."

Soonyoung nods, patting at Jihoon’s thigh. “Jihoon,” he breathes. “Jihoon, get up. We’re here now."

Jihoon, instead of listening, clings tighter to the alpha. “No,” he whimpers. “No, please."

“Come on, kitten,” Soonyoung croons, brushing his knuckles against Jihoon’s cheek. “I just need to get the bag then I can take care of you, okay?"

Looking up, Jihoon’s teary eyes greet him, tugging at his heartstrings and reminding him awfully about what happened two years ago. It’s the same look he’d seen when he’d broken down to Jihoon that they were nothing anymore, that they were done and over.

Oh, how much he wants to punch his past self.

“Promise?” whispers Jihoon, leaning into his hand.

Soonyoung noses his other cheek gently. “Promise,” he says.

Jihoon reluctantly clambers off his lap, taking the blanket with him and exposing Soonyoung. The alpha hisses as the cold air meets his damp pants but makes quick move of standing up to reach for the duffel bag locked away in the compartment above him.

With shaking hands, Soonyoung sets the bag on the seat and quickly unzips it. Rummaging through the items, he makes sure everything is in there and prepared — toys, condoms, lube, salve, birth control pills, some snacks and two bottles of water, all there. Zipping it back up, he throws the bag over his shoulder and turns around just as Jihoon crumples down with a cry of pain.

Ignoring the stabbing pain in his own abdomen, Soonyoung gathers his mate in his arms, blanket and all, and makes sure not to slip on the pool of slick as he walks down the aisle.

“Use protection,” Jeonghan mutters as they pass him. 

When they finally make it to the front of the bus, Seungcheol clears his throat. “You both owe everyone an explanation when this is over."

Nodding, Soonyoung carefully trudges down the stairs and shifts Jihoon in his arms. He doesn’t say anything else and frankly, the heat in his chest and the pain in his abdomen is beginning to grow, so he breaks out into a light jog towards the hotel, mindful of the blanket threatening to slip off Jihoon’s body. 

“Almost there,” he breathes upon hearing Jihoon’s whimpering. “We’re almost there, kitten."

Jihoon curls up further into his chest, tears clinging to his lashes and cheeks flushed prettily. He’s still leaking slick in a stream, even as they make it to the receptionist table, spilling on Soonyoung’s arm and causing lavender and tangerines to mix.

“Room for two,” Soonyoung says when he walks up to the desk, panting slightly. “One night."

The receptionist looks at them, visibly stunned at the sight of them. For a moment, Soonyoung has the urge to shield Jihoon away from her eyes, suddenly protective, but then she slides a notepad to him, a pen, and a card.

“Names, please,” she says, seeming to sense the urgent situation. “You’ll be room 217. Second floor, to the right, three rooms down."

Gently, Soonyoung leans Jihoon against him to write their names, then takes the card and bows his head appreciatively. “Thank you."

With no time to waste, he readjusts the blanket around Jihoon’s shoulders and lifts him in his arms again. Hurrying to the stairs — because the elevator would probably take a lot longer — he goes up to the second floor as directed, takes a right, and counts three doors down until he reaches the correct room.

With unsteady hands, he leans Jihoon up against him once more and attempts to swipe the card, only for it fall on the ground due to his erratic movements.

“Soonie,” Jihoon gasps, eyes fluttering closed and eyebrows furrowing. “Hurts. Hurts. Please, hurry."

Soonyoung shushes him gently, grabs the card and swipes the door open. He ushers Jihoon inside first and closes the door behind them quite loudly, locking it shut. He shrugs the bag off by the kitchen counter, feeling relieved to be hidden away from public eyes, but now there’s a different matter to attend to.

Jihoon is all up against him in the next second, whining in his ear and hips rutting against Soonyoung’s own.

“Soonie,” he pants. “Soonie...please. It’s — It’s too much."

“Shhh,” Soonyoung soothes, sliding his thigh between Jihoon’s legs. “I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry. Why don’t you go into the bedroom and undress while I prepare things, hmm? I’ll be quick."

Jihoon doesn’t seem too keen on that idea, hands gripping tightly on Soonyoung’s shoulders and whimpering insistently. His legs are trembling where they surround Soonyoung’s thigh, slick flowing out of him like mad. He’s probably uncomfortable but his heat is overpowering him and taking away his ability to think. Soonyoung doesn’t want that.

“Quick,” utters Jihoon, voice cracking. “Make it quick."

“The quickest,” Soonyoung promises.

With a hitched breath and a grunt, Jihoon pushes himself off and stumbles into the nearest bedroom, wheeze-like whimpers escaping him with every second of no contact. 

With no time to waste and frankly, feeling a little heated, Soonyoung dives for the duffel bag full of necessities. He grabs what he can and what his eyes catch first — a condom, a bottle of lube, the birth control pills, a large dildo that has him a little intimidated, a granola bar, and one of the water bottles. 

Shifting the items in his arms, he makes his way into the bedroom.

And nearly drops everything he has upon the sight.

In those few short seconds they’d been apart, Jihoon had somehow managed to take all his clothes off — now laying haphazardly across the floor — and gotten on the bed. Face down, ass up, he has two fingers inside him already, mouth dropped open as he moans lewdly amidst the squelching of his fingers. His erection, which hangs between his legs, is all red and streaming a steady amount of pre-come on the bedsheets beneath them.

Soonyoung swallows hard, throat having gone dry. 

He almost can’t remember the last time he’s seen Jihoon like this.

Quietly, he sets the items down on the nightstand, feeling his pants tighten constrictively the longer he stares. He settles a hesitant knee on the bedsheet, causing the omega’s eyes to shoot open.

“Soon — “ he stutters. “Soonyoung — Soonyoung...alpha..."

Soonyoung can feel his pupils dilate at the sound of Jihoon’s breathy voice, calling his title so seductively. He clenches his fists tightly, remembering the situation they’re in. His mate is in a heat, he’s in a rut, they have a mission yet to be accomplished. He’s not sure what to do without fucking everything up.

“Jihoon,” he rasps, voice deep and shaky. “Jihoon, maybe we shouldn’t — "

“No!” Jihoon cries, rocking back into his hand and peering at Soonyoung with those teary eyes. “No! You promised...alpha, you promised you’d take care of me! Alpha, please...” He breaks out into a heart-wrenching sob. “You said — you said you’d try. You said...you’d try if I’m feeling insecure, so...so why — why don’t you want to?"

Soonyoung sucks in a breath as Jihoon sobs into his forearm, hand falling onto the bed and hips weakly bucking up into nothing.

“You...you don’t want me anymore?"

In an instant, Soonyoung finds himself clambering on the bed in erratic movements and draping his whole body over Jihoon’s. His heart aches upon hearing his mate’s distressed wail, the scent of wilted lavender beginning to mix with the sweetness. 

“I want you,” he reassures frantically, nosing at Jihoon’s scent gland to calm him down. “God, Jihoon, I want you so much. Just...are you sure you want to do this?"

With another weak cry, Jihoon nods, pushing his hips back against Soonyoung’s front, and as much as the alpha wants to take over and make love to his omega, they need to be on the same page first and foremost. Despite the mission, that’s always been one of his top priorities.

“Look at me, Jihoon,” he says firmly, leaning forward. 

Without hesitation, Jihoon turns his head until they make eye contact, cheeks instantly dusted pink at their close proximity; their noses are almost touching. His omega doesn’t back down, however, keeping eye contact for a few seconds before he speaks.

“I want to,” he whispers, twisting his body to lay comfortably back on the bed. “I want you."

With that, Soonyoung surges forward and locks their lips together.

—

Colors, bursts of pretty hues, explode beneath Jihoon's eyelids the moment their lips meet. A fuzzy warmth settles itself inside his chest, a sign that his body is still familiar with what’s going on. The warmth spreads, until it’s flaring gently beneath every inch of his skin, from his toes to the tips of his fingertips.

He whimpers, needy, head tilting back to lick kittenishly in his alpha’s mouth. He misses this, misses hearing Soonyoung’s breathy moans and noises of pleasure, a small reassurance that they want each other just as much as the other. 

The familiar taste of his alpha lingers on his tongue even when Soonyoung pulls away to catch his breath. A thin strand of saliva connects their lips, evidence of their naughty rendezvous.

“Kitten,” Soonyoung addresses him softly.

Jihoon almost purrs at the name, the fuzziness in his chest tickling underneath his skin. It’s been so long since he’s last heard that nickname; he almost can’t remember when. He wants to hear it over and over, until he’s been rest assured that his alpha won’t leave him again. 

Soonyoung thumbs his bottom lip, and Jihoon can’t help but take it into his mouth, suckling gently.

“Kitten,” his alpha speaks again. “When was the last time you took a pill?"

Jihoon pulls away, thoughts coming to a halt. They both know what taking a pill meant for an omega. Hearing Soonyoung ask that question makes the doubt in the back of Jihoon’s mind grow. 

“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully, hesitant. “Maybe...maybe six...seven days ago? Why?"

A fear squelches in his gut and although he knows most of his thoughts are irrational now, Jihoon can’t help it. His heat instincts are beginning to take over, mind wandering to dark places. With every second that passes, he can feel his self-esteem drop, little by little.

_Pill means no pups,_ his mind whispers. _No pups means he doesn’t want you like that. _

To his horror, Soonyoung pulls away from him with a click of his tongue. “Sit up,” his alpha orders. “You need to take it again before we do anything more."

Unable to help himself, and partly because of his heat, Jihoon’s throat erupts with a loud whimper. He internally berates himself for how emotionally unstable he is, tears blurring his vision as a sharp ache attacks his abdomen. He can barely make out the sudden panic in his chest.

“No pups?” he asks meekly.

He knows damn well it’s just the heat talking, making him delirious with the need to breed and reproduce, but the thought eats at him. His heart twists painfully at the thought of no pups, tears threatening to spill over. He shies away from Soonyoung in embarrassment, hands covering his face with utter humiliation. 

“Baby,” he hears Soonyoung coo softly. “Baby, no, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I want pups, okay? I want pups with you, darling."

He feels Soonyoung curl his fingers around his wrists and carefully take his hands away from his face. His face warms up at the sudden vulnerability, and he can’t find it in himself to meet the alpha’s eyes. The more he opens his mouth, the more he makes a fool of himself.

“Jihoonie, look at me, please?” 

Feeling the heat grow on his face, Jihoon reluctantly looks at Soonyoung. Eyes flashing nervously back and forth, his embarrassment ends up winning him over and he looks away again, ashamed.

He feels Soonyoung’s hand on his cheek, thumb gently rubbing the tears that have begun to fall. A chance to back away, he supposes, when Soonyoung doesn’t move away.

Hesitantly, he turns his head and catches a glimpse of Soonyoung’s warm eyes, the smile on his lips so gentle and understanding, Jihoon feels the fear begin to fade.

“In the future,” Soonyoung begins softly once Jihoon looks at him, “when nothing is chasing us and we’re safe, you’ll be able to carry my pups...” His other hand trails down between them to caress lovingly at Jihoon’s stomach, “...in here. All the pups you want, okay?"

Jihoon keeps his mouth shut tight, a lump swelling in his throat as his alpha continues.

“In the future,” Soonyoung repeats, “I want to see you all round and pregnant and full of my pups. I want to see you waddle around our house and complain to me that your feet are hurting and you need a massage. I want you to wake me up in the middle of the night just because you have a craving for eomma’s kimchi fried rice."

More tears threaten to spill over as images of their possible future take over Jihoon’s mind. Nostalgia is strong in the air, contributing to his white jasmine pheromones that had begun to leak steadily from his scent glands.

“And when I hold your hand to support you,” Soonyoung whispers, taking Jihoon’s hand — the one with the ring on his finger — in his, “there’ll be a wedding ring on your finger."

Jihoon breaks down, vision blurry with emotion and mouth babbling incoherently, “Soon — Soonie...alpha...alpha, please..."

“We’d get married in the spring on April 3,” Soonyoung goes on, unbuttoning his shirt, “because that’s when we went on our first official date despite having been together three years prior, and I’m cliche like that."

Jihoon is pretty sure he’s ugly-crying now, but Soonyoung is still looking at him like he’s the most precious thing ever. He thinks his heat can go away just like this, taking solidarity in Soonyoung’s words, but the dull ache in his gut tells him otherwise. His heart is pounding, at the fact that Soonyoung still remembers everything — from how long they’ve been together to the date of their first official date.

“And I’ll pamper you to make up for time lost.” Soonyoung doesn’t seem to run out of words to say, and Jihoon doesn’t know if that’s a bad or good thing. “I’ll pamper you way too much that you’ll threaten to divorce me — "

“No.” Jihoon struggles to find his voice. “No divorce."

Soonyoung pauses, eyes softening.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Jihoon continues, voice trembling with emotion, “but the moment we get married, you’re stuck with me. You think — after all the times I’ve cried over you and wanted you back — that I’d want you gone just like that? What, because you think you deserve it? You deserve to go through the pain I felt?"

He hears the way Soonyoung’s breath hitches, but he continues passionately.

“I’m not stupid like you,” he says fiercely, holding on Soonyoung’s hand tightly. “You told me I was the impulsive one, but who was it that lead to us pretending to hate each other and believing we do?"

He sees the exact moment Soonyoung’s heart shatters.

“The moment we get married, we’re leaving everything behind,” Jihoon says adamantly. “We can’t keep letting our mistakes heal our scars. I want you to be there for me as my mate, as my alpha. I want you to be there for me as the father of my pups. I want you in my life, Kwon Soonyoung. When will you understand that I'll still love you no matter what?"

Suddenly, he’s being smothered in Soonyoung’s embrace, the alpha hiding his face in the crook of his neck. For a moment, Jihoon is speechless, because although Soonyoung shows his emotions freely, he’s not one to break down so easily. 

It’s exactly how he felt seeing Soonyoung tear up back in the hotel at Jecheon. It had been an unusual sight then, and, blinded by his own emotions, Jihoon failed to see how much the mission had impacted Soonyoung too. The guilt he felt then is the same guilt he feels now.

“I’m sorry,” comes Soonyoung’s weak voice. “I’m so sorry. I love you so much."

And Jihoon can live off those statements for the rest of his life.

“Stop crying and kiss me."

And so Soonyoung does. It’s a mess; the taste of salty tears sliding between their interlocked lips and limbs tangled to the point where it would be early impossible to tell which arm belonged to who.

“You still need to take the pill, baby,” mumbles Soonyoung against his lips. “No matter how much I want you pregnant."

And so Jihoon sits up, the reassurance of later comforting him. Later, they will get married. Later, they’ll leave this horrid life behind. Later, they’ll be Soonyoung and Jihoon instead of Hoshi and Woozi. And later, they’ll start a new beginning, with their own children and weddings rings.

He lets Soonyoung lay a pill in his palm and throws it in his mouth. His alpha holds a water bottle up to his lips carefully, until he’s swallowed the pill and waiting for it to digest.

“Good?” 

Jihoon nods, hands reaching out. “Kisses?"

Soonyoung grants him his wish, leaning forward to slide their lips together effortlessly, gently pushing him back against the pillows until his back meets the bed. Jihoon kisses back with equal enthusiasm, chest threatening to rumble with a purr of satisfaction. He’s been waiting for this for so long.

The warmth sitting in the pit of his belly simmers softly, pleasant. It hums as Soonyoung slides his hand up his thigh, caresses his hip, upwards until...it freezes.

Abruptly, his alpha pulls away, eyes drawn to the spot where his hand rests against Jihoon’s abdomen. There’s an annoyed whine creeping up on the back of Jihoon’s throat but when he sees where Soonyoung’s eyes lay, he finds himself closing his mouth quietly, letting his alpha take it in.

His scar from Nae-ri’s battle, having transitioned from pink to white over the years, stretches across his abdomen at a large size. It starts from his v-line and ends near his naval in an upwards slanted position. To Jihoon, he likes to think of it as a reminder of how he’d been able to hold on, how he hadn’t let the team down.

But Soonyoung seems to think otherwise.

Soonyoung leans back, thumb gently brushing the scar and although Jihoon doesn’t feel the pain anymore, Soonyoung’s glassy eyes hurts him more than any wound ever could.

“I should’ve told you to stay back,” murmurs Soonyoung. “I shouldn’t’ve let you go back to the buses alone."

Jihoon watches as his alpha’s head lowers above his stomach and feels his lips gently brush against the painless scar. Tenderly, he lays a hand on the crown of Soonyoung’s head, fingers stroking through his strands in silent comfort. 

He doesn’t want Soonyoung to think the scar he’d gotten is because of him but rather, because of his own careless actions. He’d been the one to follow Soonyoung’s orders, to grab the case so they’d be able to accomplish the mission faster. He’d been the one to run out of the building, unaware of how many rogues were left.

“Priorities,” he says quietly. “We had priorities, Soonyoung. None of us could’ve known what was gonna happen."

“Fuck priorities,” hisses Soonyoung.

Startled at the aggressive statement, Jihoon swallows down his words when Soonyoung looks angrily up at him, eyes heavy with emotion and covered in a thin layer of glass. And though Jihoon knows the anger isn’t directed towards him, he doesn’t speak. He’s learned from their past; listen to each other lest they want a repeat.

“If you get hurt again, I don’t care,” Soonyoung continues fiercely. “Two years without you was hell. I’m not letting us go through that again. I don’t care what Namjoon or Seungcheol has to say about it — the next time you’re separated from me, I’m done."

Smoothly, because he can feel Soonyoung’s anger swelling, Jihoon pushes the alpha back against the bed and straddles him. He swiftly leans down and presses their lips together then pulls away, only to repeat the process multiple times, until Soonyoung is relaxed and returning his pecks with a calm state of mind.

“We have priorities for the greater good,” Jihoon murmurs. “You’re saying this because you want to keep me safe, but I can assure you now that when we find Daehyun, your family will be your priority. Not me."

Soonyoung opens his mouth and whether or not it’s to retaliate or agree, Jihoon presses his finger against the alpha’s lips, shaking his head.

“Listen to me,” he says firmly. “I’m fine with that because they’re your family, Soonyoung. My point is, you can’t put me first in situations like this.” He sees Soonyoung bite the inside of his cheek. “And I know it’s hard because I want to put you first too, but we can’t, because we have jobs to do and lives to protect."

His hand slides down to undo Soonyoung’s pants. When he looks up, he can see the internal conflict the alpha is facing and though he’s a little apologetic, he knows they need to think rationally.

“Think about it this way,” he says, sliding Soonyoung’s pants down. “If eomma and Joonseo were held hostage and I’m being held hostage, who would you save first?"

Soonyoung inhales shakily. “You’re not being fair."

Jihoon kisses him again. “I’m trying to make it easier for you, Soonie,” he murmurs. “I want you to save them first no matter what. Take me out of the equation. I don’t exist as your mate, just an acquaintance."

“You can’t tell me that,” Soonyoung says stubbornly, shaking his head. “If eomma and Joonseo were held hostage and you were held hostage, I’d ask Daehyun to take me instead."

Jihoon sighs, sliding the alpha’s boxers down. “It’s so frustrating how stubborn you are,” he complains. 

He doesn’t want to think about what would happen if they were ever put in a situation as complex as that — with Daehyun in total control. There’s no doubt Soonyoung would keep true to his word to protect them all but even then, Jihoon wouldn’t dare put himself in a position that’ll risk Soonyoung’s family.

He almost doubles over in pain once Soonyoung’s cock springs out from his boxers, the heavy tangerine scent overwhelming his senses. It’s just as big as he remembers, curving against the alpha’s hip thickly. He can feel slick gush out of him, body reacting instantly to the sight and smell.

“I’m only being stubborn because I want you all safe,” breathes Soonyoung, hissing at the cold air. “If it were you, you’d probably do the same — ah!"

Wanting to distract his alpha, Jihoon caresses the hot, throbbing length in his hand, fingers curling around the thickness of it. He can feel it pulsing, the fat head leaking a ridiculous amount of pre-come that drips over his knuckles like a waterfall. It’s such an erotic sight, he feels his own cock twitch in interest.

“But it’s not me,” he retorts, stroking Soonyoung slowly. “It’s you that’s going through this. And let’s be realistic, there’s probably a slim chance he’d hold me hostage."

He leans down and lips at the fat head, earning himself another hiss from his alpha. The pre-come smears against his lips and when his tongue pokes out to catch the liquid, the taste explodes in his mouth. Sinking down, he gently sucks at the round head, satisfaction sinking deep in his belly when Soonyoung’s leg jerks abruptly.

“I don’t wanna take chances,” Soonyoung pants, watching Jihoon through his hooded eyes. “That slim chance could happen and — and...oh,  _fuck."_

Jihoon takes in a little more, mouth full of cock and the head nearly hitting the back of his throat. He suckles gently, feeling proud when more of the length slips inside, and swallows the saliva gathering inside his mouth.

“Yah, _yah.”_ Soonyoung’s voice cracks. “Jihoon...did you hear me?"

Jihoon pulls off, licking the remnants of Soonyoung’s taste off his lips. “I heard you,” he says impatiently, hand stroking his alpha’s cock faster. “And personally, I think you need to shut up and relax. Let’s take care of ourselves first and worry later."

Without waiting for Soonyoung’s reply, he takes his alpha’s cock in his mouth until it hits the back of his throat. From the corner of his eye, he can see Soonyoung’s hand nearly tearing the bedsheets below them, and reaches out to place his hand into his hair instead.

“Jihoon, slowly...” begs Soonyoung, voice shaking with pleasure.

Ignoring him, Jihoon breathes through his nose and swallows, managing to get a little more down his throat. He sinks down a little deeper. Deeper, deeper, until he’s hit his limit, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he relaxes his throat. He’s about halfway, hand stroking the remaining length he can’t fit and using his saliva as lube.

Beneath him, Soonyoung writhes and whines, and Jihoon can see his stomach convulsing with pleasure. The hand on his hair twitches, like Soonyoung wants to grasp it but doesn’t, whether he’s afraid of hurting the omega or too far gone already.

Testing, eyeing Soonyoung’s stomach, Jihoon swallows, throat tightening around the thick length.

“Hoonie,” gasps Soonyoung, back arching beautifully and fingers hooking in the omega’s dark locks in an attempt to tug him off. “Hoonie, off. Off, get off! I’m gonna — I’m gonna — "

Again, Jihoon ignores the warning, licking against the underside of his alpha’s cock kittenishly. A few seconds pass, and just when he hears Soonyoung’s breathing get even again, he sucks harshly, throat tightening as he swallows, and Soonyoung is gone.

The first surge fills his mouth rather quickly, thick and potent, and he finds himself nearly choking trying to swallow it. The second surge follows not too long after, and he has to pull away to catch his breath, eyes fluttering shut as ropes of come splatter on his face. The scent is strong, almost overwhelming, but it pleases the heat threatening to pain him.

Soonyoung is a beautiful mess, eyes squeezed tight and heavy pants leaving his lips. His hips jerk as ropes after ropes of come spurt from the tip of his cock, body reacting almost violently to the sensations. 

When Jihoon opens his eyes, a knot had already formed at the base of Soonyoung’s cock, the head dripping with his orgasm.

Wiping his face with the back of his hand, he licks off the white substance and leans down again, using his tongue to clean Soonyoung up. He’s careful around the knot, presses a gentle kiss on it and collects the remaining liquid while Soonyoung’s leg jerks again.

“I don’t remember you being this sensitive during your ruts,” he mutters, swallowing down the potent liquid and licking his lips. 

Soonyoung is still panting, eyes opening and revealing a foggy haze in them. He doesn’t look like he’s focused on anything in particular, but the sight of it makes the pride in Jihoon’s chest swell.

“I — I don’t either,” mumbles Soonyoung deliriously. “I feel like I’m gonna come again if you touch it."

Jihoon raises an eyebrow at that but before he can do anything, it’s like the alpha had already read his mind. Soonyoung is quick to grab his wrists and flip them over, ultimately taking charge as Jihoon’s front meets the bed.

The omega whines at the sudden friction, feeling Soonyoung straddle the back of his thighs, the alpha’s cock resting heavily between his cheeks. He can feel the head drag against the small of his back and moans at the thought of having his alpha’s scent all over him.

“Don’t tease,” murmurs Soonyoung, lips resting against the shell of his ear. 

Jihoon whines at the contact. Even after all this time, his alpha still remembers how sensitive his ears are. Uselessly, he bucks up against Soonyoung in an attempt to get his cock closer to where he wants it, but he’s completely held in a vice grip.

Slowly, surging back and forth, his alpha grinds against his rim. Jihoon feels more slick leak out, hole fluttering at the sensations. 

“What do you want?” asks Soonyoung, dropping kisses across his shoulders. “What do you want me to do?"

Pupils dilated, overwhelmed, Jihoon hiccups as he struggles to grind back against his alpha, wanting more. For a moment, Soonyoung lets him, his sighs entering Jihoon’s ears like a baby’s breath and hips rocking against his ass slowly. Then he stops.

“No,” Jihoon whines before he can stop himself. “No, please...Soonie..."

“Tell me, kitten,” Soonyoung reprimands. “What do you want?"

Jihoon could almost cry. It’s so torturing, the insistent pleasure pressing against him, more than ready to take him, but Soonyoung knows how to wring him dry, knows how to make him wait. His alpha holds him down with his thighs, cock resting thickly against his back and knot pressing down ever so gently against his rim, teasing.

“Scent,” is what Jihoon splutters, pleadingly. “Your scent. On me. All over."

He can hear the way Soonyoung’s breaths become heavier behind him, cock twitching against the small of his back, obviously turned on by the idea. 

Scent. Not just scent-marking. He’s not asking to be nuzzled to his neck to mix tangerines and lavender. He’s not asking for his alpha’s clothes to wear. He’s asking to be completely marked in Soonyoung’s essence, until he’s drowning in tangerines with barely any lavender to be smelled. He’s asking for a physical reminder that he belongs to nobody else but his alpha.

“My scent?” breathes Soonyoung, beginning to rut against Jihoon’s ass. “You want me on you?"

Jihoon whines affirmatively. 

He feels Soonyoung shift his position and not too long later, wet slapping sounds fill the room, along with Soonyoung’s gradual panting. His own cock throbs at the sound, a reminder that his alpha is getting off to him.

“Turn around,” says Soonyoung. “Turn around, kitten."

Eagerly, Jihoon twists his body until he’s facing his alpha, chest thrumming with anticipation and cock twitching against Soonyoung’s knot.

Soonyoung looks pretty like that, jerking himself off unashamedly and head tipped back, throat exposed and Adam’s apple bobbing. His eyes are fluttered shut, mouth open to grasp at little pockets of air as beads of sweat rolls down his temples. His cock is leaking again, the tip an angry shade of red and dripping with pre-come, knot still swollen firmly.

“Imagine this,” Jihoon murmurs helpfully. “You’re inside me already, and it’s so hot and wet that you slip in easily without any trouble."

Soonyoung’s head falls forward, eyes opening to stare heatedly at the omega. He doesn’t cease his movements, deciding to go with the flow of Jihoon’s story.

“I can feel you pulse inside me,” Jihoon goes on, feeling his own breaths get heated as he imagines it. “And I clench tight around you, because you’re so big and thick. I can feel your cock drag against my walls, squeezing you as you start fucking faster into me."

Soonyoung’s hand speeds up, the wet slapping sound becoming louder as the alpha groans, hips bucking against his fist.

“And it feels so good.” moans Jihoon, wrapping a hand around his own cock and stroking leisurely. “It feels so good because your cock is so big and taking me so well. And I tell you that I’m the only one who can take you like this."

“I’m close,” pants Soonyoung, hips bucking erratically. “Keep — Keep going."

“And then you come,” Jihoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as he thumbs at his slit. “And holy fuck, you come  a lot. So much that my belly inflates from your seed and it looks like I’m pregnant. And your knot — it’s all swollen and firm, and every time I reach down to knead it, you come again and I can feel it — “ 

Soonyoung’s hips jerk once, twice, and then he’s unloading over Jihoon’s stomach, whines leaving his lips as he milks himself to completion, hand stroking himself firmly.

Jihoon moans as the potent substance lands on him, using two fingers to smear the liquid around until it’s embedded into his skin. Onto the dips of his abs and the curves of his waistline. Onto his scar and traveling down his v-line, until he’s lathering Soonyoung’s come on his own cock, senses completely flooded with tangerine.

Soonyoung watches him with hooded eyes, using two fingers to smear come on Jihoon’s scent glands.

“You smell like me now,” he breathes, nosing at Jihoon’s neck. 

Jihoon’s chest rumbles softly, and it takes him a moment to realize he’s purring. 

“I want you,” he mumbles, a little delirious. “I want you inside me. Please, alpha."

Soonyoung trails kisses from his jaw line, until he’s reached his lips and is pecking Jihoon over and over again. Small, fleeting kisses that don’t last for more than a second, before he’s diving in for more.

“Soon, baby,” is what his alpha says. “Just hold on a little more for me, okay?"

Whining, Jihoon clings tighter on Soonyoung unhappily. In his right mind, he knows the pill takes a long time to digest but even then, he’s still impatient. He needs something inside him lest he risks getting pregnant.

“How about this?” 

Soonyoung unlatches himself from Jihoon, reaching over for something on the nightstand. He comes back with a dildo in his hand and although it’s not his alpha, Jihoon finds the warmth in his chest flaring at the sight of the item. More slick leaks out of him, embarrassingly so.

Wordlessly, Soonyoung reaches over for the lube to lather the dildo in it, then sits back on his feet and guides Jihoon’s legs over his thighs.

“Spread wide, kitten,” coos Soonyoung, patting the inside of Jihoon’s thigh.

Obediently, Jihoon spreads his legs, breath hitching with anticipation as his alpha presses the tip against his fluttering hole. Slowly, ever so slowly, Soonyoung presses inside of him, shushing him gently when he whines at the size, stretching his rim until it’s buried to the hilt.

Jihoon sinks back into the bed in an attempt to relax, stomach quivering with anticipation and breaths short from being tense. With tentative fingertips, he presses gently against his abdomen and can feel the large makeshift cock jutting beneath his skin. Mind reeling, he imagines it as Soonyoung’s cock instead, and isn’t surprised when slick gushes out of him at the thought.

“Soonie,” he mewls, voice slurred with neediness. 

Soonyoung pats his hip instead, tapping the dildo deep into his ass. Jihoon can feel the tell-tale signs of an orgasm creeping up inside him, and shivers at the sensation, cock jutting eagerly against his hip.

“Turn around, kitten,” orders Soonyoung. “Let me see."

With shaky limbs, Jihoon obeys, breath hitching when the movement causes the dildo to shift inside him, pressing right up against his prostate. Whimpering, afraid to come too soon, he forces himself to push his torso down and perk his ass in the air, thighs trembling with effort.

“You’re so pretty, my love,” whispers Soonyoung, thumb gently rimming the area where Jihoon’s stretched around the dildo.

Jihoon moves his hips back reflexively. He can feel his face warm up as more mewls slip from his lips, pleasure singing from his bottom until it sits pleasantly in his stomach. The thought of Soonyoung staring at him where he’s most vulnerable has him leaking again, and he can feel slick running down the back of his thighs.

“Look at you,” Soonyoung praises. “Leaking so beautifully for me. Gorgeous, baby."

Jihoon whines in embarrassment, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow. “Don’t stare. Oh my god, don’t stare."

Soonyoung only hums, then Jihoon feels him easing the plug out, bit by bit, until he’s pushing it in again. Shivering at the sensations, Jihoon struggles to hold himself back, and can feel his cock drooling pre-come on the bedsheets below him.

That all proves to be inevitable, however, when a sudden wet sensation presses right where the dildo meets his ass. With a cry, his cock jerks and shoots come on the already messy bed sheets, and he rocks back against Soonyoung’s tongue to chase the feeling, to prolong his orgasm.

“Fuck,” whispers Soonyoung from behind him. “I should just eat you out for the rest of this night."

Jihoon whines at the thought, shuddering at how overstimulated he’d be from his alpha’s tongue alone. He’d already come at least four times now.

“I want to watch you fuck yourself on this,” continues Soonyoung. Jihoon feels him thrust the dildo deeper. “Stretch yourself wide and open for me, yeah? Until you can take my cock again."

“I can,” Jihoon gasps, rocking back against the dildo. “I can take it. Please, alpha."

Soonyoung shushes him again. “Just a little more, darling. Wait a little longer and then you’ll finally be mine again."

Jihoon whines and turns his head when he feels Soonyoung move, until the alpha is draped over his back and pressing kisses against the side of his face. He sinks into his touch, relishing in the feeling of plush lips against his skin, and his eyes flutter shut.

“A little longer” ends up being what feels like an hour later. By then, Jihoon has already come twice, cock still stubbornly hard even as he lies pliantly against the bed, with Soonyoung gently easing the toy in and out of him and occasionally dipping his head to gather the dripping slick with his tongue.

“Soonie,” he mumbles, groaning when he feels Soonyoung’s tongue flick inside him. “How much longer?"

He hears Soonyoung let out a soft laugh. “Eager, baby?"

“Mhmm..."

All of a sudden, he’s being flipped on his back, knees relieved from holding him up and back popping splendidly, removing the tension on his body. He sinks down on the bed, moaning softly when Soonyoung gently wriggles the dildo out of him, slick gushing out instantly.

“We’ve been waiting for a while now, haven’t we?” Soonyoung muses.

Jihoon unconsciously pouts. “A little too long, maybe."

Like that, Soonyoung’s eyes soften, hands caressing Jihoon’s sides comfortingly. Jihoon didn’t mean for it to come out like he’s reminding Soonyoung of how hard it’s been for the past two years they’ve been without each other. With everything that had been going on, he knows Soonyoung only had his best intentions in mind.

Wordlessly, Jihoon finds himself caressing the back of Soonyoung’s head as the alpha tucks his face into the crook of his neck.

He feels Soonyoung shift and not too long later, Jihoon feels the blunt head of his cock press against his rim. His chest thrums with anticipation, heart threatening to burst with all the adrenaline he’s holding in. With tentative hands, he curls his arms around his alpha’s back and closes his eyes.

“Ready?” He hears Soonyoung whisper.

He nods soundlessly.

Then Soonyoung presses in, big and thick yet so familiar, it brings tears to Jihoon’s eyes. Not because it hurts, but rather, because all the memories come whooshing back to him, reminding him of how much they’d loved each other, held each other on a high pedestal, and how they truly believed nothing could come between them.

The heat in his stomach flares, expanding and brewing underneath his skin as Soonyoung sinks home. Stars burst beneath his eyelids as he takes his alpha in, fingertips brazen with heat and lips parting for air as he accommodates Soonyoung’s large size, his body adjusting rather quickly.

And when Soonyoung pulls away so they can make eye contact, it’s his third time seeing his alpha cry. His eyes are glassy, forehead sweaty with exertion yet cheeks flushed with emotion. Gently, the alpha knocks their foreheads together, noses brushing as they stay like that.

Jihoon doesn’t even notice he’s crying too until Soonyoung’s hands caress his face, thumbs brushing his tears away delicately.

Here, in this moment, is where he feels connected to his alpha. Not just physically, but even then, he can feel their bond knitting itself back together with the strings of their hearts, tying them to each other in all aspects. Here, he finally gets the chance to see his alpha vulnerable, the chance to truly see Soonyoung let go and trust him.

It’s one of the only things he’s ever asked for.

And so he smiles, lips turned up as he noses gently against Soonyoung’s nose. His once broken heart now repairs itself with the tears in his alpha’s eyes, taking energy from his unguarded emotions and trusting state, until it’s stitching itself back together with said energy.

Soonyoung kisses him, their curved lines pressing joyously against each other until they’re laughing, teeth clacking ridiculously and lips barely touching.

And miraculously, bringing another round of tears to Jihoon’s eyes, he can feel Soonyoung’s joy through their bond. He can feel everything, from the swelling amount happiness to the shadows of regret, the emotions tucking itself deep in the corners of his heart until it’s created a home there once again.

“I can feel you,” whispers Jihoon, voice shaky as he caresses Soonyoung’s face. “I can feel you again, alpha."

Soonyoung’s voice cracks. “I missed you."

They stay like that for a moment, taking each other in like they’ll never get another chance to. And though the heat brewing inside Jihoon’s stomach sits unhappily, he’s much too focused on their strengthening bond to pay any attention to it.

“I’m gonna move now, okay?” Soonyoung whispers, like they have a secret to keep between them.

Jihoon gives him a tender kiss. “Okay."

And so Soonyoung moves, keeping his head close to Jihoon’s as his hips pull back, only to thrust in again. From there, it just seems like never-ending bursts of emotions and sensations.

Mewling, Jihoon grasps on Soonyoung like a lifeline, hisses of pleasure leaving his lips as his alpha’s cock drags against his walls deliciously. He can’t help it when he clenches, like he’s unconsciously afraid of being left alone again, like his body is telling him to hold on, hold on, hold on. 

He doesn’t notice it when his voice gradually deepens, his Busan satoori having made its presence known. His senses are focused on his alpha — his pants of pleasure, groans and whines slipping past his red swollen lips. It sends all his doubts away into oblivion.

“Good, Soonie...” he slurs, having kept Soonyoung’s praise kink tucked in the corner of his mind. “Mmm...so good."

Soonyoung moans into his shoulder, licking and laving his tongue over his skin, going back and forth between his collarbone and the base of his neck, where his mark lays. He can feel how his alpha’s teeth sharpen, lightly grazing across his skin and pressing gently, not hard enough to break his skin, but gentle enough to send a rack of shivers down his spine.

“Mark...Soonie,” pants Jihoon. “Please. Make me yours again."

“Not yet, kitten,” Soonyoung growls, hips beginning to thrust faster. “Need to...Need to take care of you first."

A whine creeps up at the back of Jihoon’s throat, Soonyoung’s determination coursing through his veins. He can feel the way his heart inflates, that familiar airy feeling in his chest when he realizes how careful his alpha is being, like he’s taking extra measures to make sure everything goes right.

He feels Soonyoung nibble at his neck, over his mark, and shudders at the sensations. Those familiar hues of reds and blues and purples cloud his vision as his alpha nips and sucks at the area, soothing the stinging with kitten licks and butterfly kisses. He mewls again, tilts his head to grant Soonyoung better access as his alpha continues to thrust deeply.

With every push in, Jihoon clenches helplessly, his body making a desperate attempt to keep his alpha inside with every pull back. His alpha’s cock presses insistently against his prostate, and Jihoon can feel the signs of an orgasm beginning to unravel in his stomach.

Soonyoung hooks an arm around Jihoon’s waist and lifts him up, effectively causing the omega to arch his back and in turn, resulting in deeper thrusts. 

Jihoon cries out, limbs jerking as he tries to find purchase on his alpha’s body. His cock leaks insistently on his abdomen, weeping as the sudden movement does nothing but slow his senses, until he’s hanging pliantly from Soonyoung’s arm. Mindless babbles leave his lips as his senses focus on the ramrod length of his alpha, still thrusting deeply inside of him.

“I’m close,” Jihoon mumbles, lips barely able to close with how heavy his breaths are. “Soonie...I’m close..."

“I know, baby, I know,” pants Soonyoung, hips becoming erratic once more. “Almost..."

Weakly, Jihoon grips tight on Soonyoung’s shoulder and lifts his head, nearly falling back again when his alpha thrusts particularly harsh against his prostate. Quickly, he latches on Soonyoung’s shoulder with his mouth, teeth digging into his skin that he quickly soothes with several kisses. Slowly, carefully, he drags his lips upwards, until they land on the mark on Soonyoung’s neck.

Licking, nipping, he sucks on the supple skin, whining out when Soonyoung attaches his lips to his neck, preparing. Teeth grazing against his alpha’s skin, he feels the familiar ache as his canines begin to sharpen, body responding obediently to their actions.

His arms tighten around Soonyoung as his alpha delivers two erratic jabs to his prostate, and by the third skillful thrust, the knot in his stomach tightens momentarily, then loosens.

Jihoon bites down hard on Soonyoung’s shoulder, a high-pitched moan escaping him as his climax surges over him in large waves. His cock jerks thrice against his abdomen, unloading hot white on his skin and permeating the air with lavender.

Soonyoung’s groan is loud around Jihoon’s neck, the alpha having bit down simultaneously to lock their bond. Jihoon feels his knot grow, expand, then pop and lock inside of him, rim stretched to the brim as he feels surges of Soonyoung’s seed release inside of him.

Jihoon’s stomach, ever so slowly, expands with each rope of Soonyoung’s come, until his abs have disappeared into squishy flesh instead. It’s not quite the pregnant look they’d imagined earlier but it’s a start, and Jihoon’s heart swells when he pets at his stomach, senses foggy with  Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.

A few seconds go by, and Jihoon gently removes his canines from his alpha’s neck, Soonyoung having done the same carefully. 

For a moment, they stay like that, chins resting against each other’s shoulders and the both of them trying to catch their breaths. The adrenaline that had kept them going now crashes onto them abruptly, limbs now heavy with the exhaustion and exertion of it all.

Before he knows it, Jihoon is being laid back against the bed, his alpha’s arm trembling with travail. And although it shouldn’t be happening, especially with what just happened, Jihoon finds a looming fear whispering threateningly into his ear.

What if he leaves again after this?

Silently, Jihoon lets all the emotions weigh down on him, physically and mentally exhausted. He’s tired of thinking, tired of trying to make sense of anything. He wonders if he’s being selfish, if he’s just trying to make himself feel better by not wanting to think at all. But that’s not how it works.

He feels tears well up in his eyes but unlike earlier, it’s for an entirely different reason altogether.

“Jihoon...” breathes Soonyoung against his collarbone. “Jihoonie..."

And Jihoon tries so hard not to make any sound, in fear of scaring his alpha away, but his throat betrays him. A wheeze-like whimper slips quietly past his lips, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Soonyoung.

His alpha pulls back slowly, meeting his eyes, and he looks horrified, worried even. Quickly, with shaking fingers, Jihoon wipes his tears away furiously and tries to reign his emotions in and get them under control, but it’s like everything he’d been so tired about is finally attacking him. Much to his embarrassment, his tears don’t seem to stop and in the end, he gives up on trying to hide them, instead turning his head away from Soonyoung.

“Jihoon...” Soonyoung trails off. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?"

His thumbs come up to wipe away his tears but Jihoon bats him away impulsively, embarrassment winning him over. He desperately hopes his alpha won’t feel his emotions but judging by the way Soonyoung is looking at him with those worried eyes, it’s inevitable.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he snaps despite himself. “It’s nothing."

He mentally berates himself for his trembling voice and from the corner of his eye, he can see the way Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrow. Confusion swirls in his chest, a clear sign of Soonyoung’s emotions, and maybe a bit of hurt as well.

He feels Soonyoung nuzzle against his scent gland. “Tell me what’s wrong, please?” His voice is careful, like he’s prepared to be pushed away again. "You’re hurting, why? Please tell me. I know I said I’d try, but I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. Are you sore?"

For a moment, Jihoon stays quiet, lips stubbornly screwed shut, afraid he’ll screw everything they’ve just done if he talks. He’s so terrified that he’ll find an empty bed the next morning when he wakes up, that maybe he’d find a plastic promise ring laying on the pillow next to him instead of Soonyoung’s head. He’s afraid of being left alone again.

He decides to risk it all. After all, he’d been the one to encourage communication when they’d made up.

“You’re...not gonna leave again, right?” he whispers shyly, humiliated. “Please don’t leave me again..."

Much to his horror, his voice tightens considerably and becomes shakier despite him trying to get his emotions in check. The lump in his throat swells, the warmth searing inside as he shies away from Soonyoung’s eyes.

With hesitant fingertips, he loops his arms around his alpha’s neck, voice soft and weak. “Please stay with me this time...I don’t — I don’t think I can handle it if you left again.” Embarrassingly enough, he almost chokes on his words. “I don’t really care what’s going on...about the mission involving me. I just — I just want us again. It hurt so much being away for you for so long and — and...” He hides his face in Soonyoung’s neck. “I miss you so much."

There’s a tugging in his heart, heavy and abrupt, then a heavy weight of guilt. For a moment, Jihoon thinks it’s him feeling this type of pain, but realizes he has nothing to feel guilty about.

Soonyoung goes to pull away and although Jihoon, in his right mind, knows they can’t be physically apart because of the alpha’s knot, he whimpers loudly. His hand grips onto Soonyoung's shoulders to prevent him from moving further, terrified. Anxiety sits in the corner of his heart, afraid of all the possibilities threatening to become real. 

“No, please...” Jihoon unexpectedly finds himself bursting into tears, a small sob ripping from his throat. “Soonyoungie...please, don’t leave. I can be better, I promise...just — please stay. Please."

He doesn’t notice how distressed he is until Soonyoung is gathering him up in his arms, pressing their bodies close together until no space comes between them. His alpha nuzzles into his scent gland and begins a deep rumble in his chest. It takes Jihoon a second to realize he’s purring, something soft and soothing that has his senses relax instantly.

Gradually, he finds himself calming down, sobs quietening into small hiccups. Despite his body relaxing, he still doesn’t let go of Soonyoung, the fear still looming at the back of his head stubbornly.

“Oh, baby...” Soonyoung murmurs, rubbing his waist soothingly. “I’m so sorry, Jihoon. Never again, okay? I’m never leaving you again. I’m so fucking sorry, kitten."

Soonyoung pulls away slowly, and reluctantly, Jihoon lets him. His alpha keeps true to his word, stopping when their faces are only a few inches away from each other to wipe his tears away. 

“I won't,” Soonyoung whispers, grabbing Jihoon’s hand and kissing the ring on his finger, “I will never leave you again. Unless the situation calls for it, I will stay by your side no matter what."

“You won’t leave?” Jihoon whispers back, eyes fluttering shut when his alpha presses a lingering kiss on his forehead.

“I promise."

When Jihoon opens his eyes to stare into Soonyoung’s, he can see the determination inside of them, the hope and love he holds that he’s probably hidden during their missions and their period of pretending to hate each other. His chest lightens and already, he feels reassured.

“First thing tomorrow morning,” Soonyoung says, “I’ll tell you everything."

Jihoon’s chest feels like air. “You will?"

“I promise."

Lips curling up, almost shyly, Jihoon repeats, “Okay. First thing tomorrow morning...” Then, hesitantly, “I love you."

Soonyoung takes away his doubts with an instant reply. “I love you too, kitten."

With that reassurance in mind, Jihoon nudges his chin up and lets his alpha connect their lips once more, as if to seal the deal.

They move slowly this time, no rush, heat, or rut to urge them anymore. Their night is a complete contrast to their morning, and until their hearts are full and their bond strengthens, they lie in each other’s arms and await their new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, WOW, I’M KINDA SAD. I CRIED WHEN JIHOON SAID “I can feel you again, alpha” AND THEN I CRIED AGAIN WHEN HE BROKE DOWN.
> 
> Also I just realized how Soonyoung and Jihoon didn’t really act like they were in a rut or heat, Soonyoung more than Jihoon, oops.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Soonhoon working at 5 in the morning while Cheol just wants to go home.  
Also Soonyoung spoiling us with covers :( AND ELLE PHOTOSHOOTS  
AND JOSHUA, WOW HE’S RIPPED
> 
> Also the latest behind-the-scene for the IF episode where Soonyoung can’t speak Korean properly and keeps messing up his words and Jihoon offers to create Korean lessons for him :<  
Also Jihoon trying to take his earphone back
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> ALSO IF ANYONE knows how to play What Kind of Future on the piano/guitar, please teach me ;-; the instrumental is so pretty and I kinda wanna get back into piano before quarantine ends c:
> 
> ALSO IOI’S DOWNPOUR, PLS TEACH ME. PIANO/GUITAR IDC
> 
> Also, I didn’t realize you could make comments on bookmarks, and so I was scrolling through the bookmarks of my works cuz I was curious and omg, y’all are so sweet y’know? Like, I didn’t even know people were leaving such nice comments and just...thank you ;-;
> 
> BUT NOW we have reached one of the climaxes of the story and if you’ve made it this far, thank you. For reading, for sticking through, for being a fan of this work, thank you.
> 
> Next few chapters will be a short breather for y’all for having gone through so much, teehee.
> 
> HEEHEE. vvv
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> 'Okay, okay...' he tries to rationalize. 'Maybe he’s in the bathroom?'
> 
> And so he treks back into the room, wondering if his senses are that dumbed down to miss the sound of a shower going. But when he slides open the bathroom door, the lights are off and nobody is there.
> 
> Gnawing on the inside of his cheek anxiously, he paces around the hotel room, checking every little nook and cranny just in case. Ridiculously, he even goes as far as to check the cabinets to see if Soonyoung had somehow managed to fit his flexible body into the enclosed space.
> 
> Nothing.
> 
> He ends up pacing back to the bedroom, lip swollen from nibbling on it nervously as he reaches for his phone on the nightstand. He wills himself to take a deep breath, calm down, and call Soonyoung.
> 
> 'Pick up, pick up, pick up, pickuppickuppickup —'
> 
> 'Your call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail, please leave a message after the beep.'


	26. Cosset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosset  
/ˈkäsət/
> 
> verb
> 
> 1\. care for and protect in an overindulgent way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Uiseong, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Bibong-ri

It’s surprisingly early morning when Jihoon wakes up, 7:30 a.m to be exact. He’s not a rise-and-shine sort of person. He likes his sleep, treasures it like he won’t get a chance to close his eyes, and he’s a proud record holder of being able to sleep for 20 hours a day. He feels unusually floaty today, like he could just drift in the clouds and never come down.

But when he rolls over in search of the source of lightness, arm reaching out to patpatpat, his hand meets nothing but air. 

Slowly, peeling his eyes open, he wakes up and glances at the spot next to him, where Soonyoung is supposed to be. But it’s empty. And cold. The tangerine scent is gone, replaced by something akin to fabric softener, or maybe even fresh laundry.

“Soonyoung...?” Jihoon croaks, looking blearily around the room.

The room is vacant of said alpha. The duffel bag, however, still lays untouched where it sits by the dresser, a small reassurance that maybe he’s still here.

Ignoring the anxiety beginning to rise in his chest, Jihoon hoists himself up and hisses at the sudden stinging that attacks his bottom. With careful, deliberate movements, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands up, nearly toppling over when he feels something shift inside him. He braces himself against the wall with trembling thighs, legs threatening to give out.

Slowly, with flushed cheeks, he glances behind him at the mirror and bends over slightly, just enough to see a plug snug securely inside of him. 

_So...he’s still here?_

Straightening himself out and hissing when the movement shifts the plug inside, he wobbles over to the duffel bag in search of new clothes. Meticulously, he shrugs on a pair of clean boxers and a long-sleeved shirt, deciding that’s good enough for now before he toddles into the main room, searching.

Soonyoung isn’t there either.

_Okay, okay..._he tries to rationalize. _Maybe he’s in the bathroom?_

And so he treks back into the room, wondering if his senses are that dumbed down to miss the sound of a shower going. But when he slides open the bathroom door, the lights are off and nobody is there.

Gnawing on the inside of his cheek anxiously, he paces around the hotel room, checking every little nook and cranny just in case. Ridiculously, he even goes as far as to check the cabinets to see if Soonyoung had somehow managed to fit his flexible body into the enclosed space.

Nothing.

He ends up pacing back to the bedroom, lip swollen from nibbling on it nervously as he reaches for his phone on the nightstand. He wills himself to take a deep breath, calm down, and call Soonyoung.

_ Pick up, pick up, pick up, pickuppickuppickup — _

_ Your call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail, please leave a message after the beep. _

Swallowing, bracing himself against the bed, he dials again, feeling more and more pathetic with each ring that goes through. Had he known he would be waking up alone, he would’ve woken up sooner. 

By the fourth ring, he gives up, heart in his throat and worry clouding his thoughts. It had seemed pretty mutual that neither of them would make the same mistake last time. He doesn’t understand, nor does he know, where Soonyoung could’ve gone. 

Trying to quell down the growing panic in his chest, he carefully maneuvers himself on the bed and sits at the edge. The material feels softer than he remembers, like it had been changed. Bracing his hands on his knees, he leans forward a little and tries to rationalize his thoughts.

_Okay, okay, maybe he changed the sheets while I was sleeping,_ he reassures himself. _But wouldn’t I have felt it...? Okay, no, positive thoughts, Jihoon. Maybe he just went to get breakfast, right? But...wouldn’t he order room service...? Okay, no, shut up._

He feels a wet plop land on his thigh and internally curses himself, reaching a hand up to wipe furiously at his eyes. His emotions have been really going against him lately, even before he and Soonyoung bonded.

A sense of worry suddenly overcomes him before he knows it, and then he hears the soft beep of the door opening. Perking up, he holds his breath as footsteps pad into the kitchen, along with the rustling of plastic bags, then a soft curse when said bags hit the kitchen counter.

“Jihoonie?” calls Soonyoung softly. “Jihoonie, are you awake, kitten?"

Jihoon swallows the lump of hesitation threatening to take his voice when Soonyoung comes padding into the room, seemingly cautious. The sight of his alpha has his heart singing warmly, sinking in his chest like falling petals that flutter to the surface of the water. A calming sensation, he’d describe.

They hold eye contact for a long while, and Jihoon feels as though they’re assessing each other, almost as if they’re too afraid to make the next move.

Then Soonyoung frowns, walking to him. “Baby, what happened? Were you crying? Don’t cry, please. Your eyes will get blotchy."

Jihoon feels Soonyoung’s hand caress his face, thumbs brushing gently on the dry tear stains on his cheeks. He leans into the touch, chest threatening to break out into a purr as his eyes flutter shut, taking comfort in his alpha’s touch. 

“Nothing,” whispers Jihoon, fingers curling around Soonyoung’s wrists. “Just me being paranoid."

Surprisingly, realization seems to hit the alpha rather quickly. Jihoon allows Soonyoung to kneel between his legs, his alpha's hands dropping down to caress the small of his back. 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung mumbles, nosing at Jihoon’s chin. “I know I said we’d talk first thing in the morning, but I just went to get breakfast because nobody was picking up on the phone. I changed the sheets right after I called because I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. And I got your call too, I just couldn’t answer ‘cause I was carrying, like, twenty bags at once."

Jihoon lets his arms hang loosely on Soonyoung’s shoulders. “Why twenty?"

“We need to find some way to make it up to the group,” chuckles Soonyoung. “And anyway, we also need to explain ourselves to them. And...I need to explain everything to you."

“Yeah, okay.”

Jihoon doesn’t know if he’s actually ready to hear what Soonyoung has to say. From what he understands so far and from what Soonyoung has told him in the past, it has something to do with him being in danger and maybe even something to do with Daehyun himself.

Soonyoung tilts his head. “How are you down there?"

Feeling his cheeks warm up, Jihoon opts to stare at the mark on Soonyoung’s neck. “Sore,” he admits shyly. “Um...thanks. For, uh, the plug, by the way."

It’s an omega thing, he tries to convince himself, to savor the feeling of being filled. Had Soonyoung not put the plug inside him and left him empty when he woke up, he probably would’ve cried at the loss of a potential pup despite being unable to have one due to their circumstances. It’s a weird comfort, he thinks, and maybe a gross type too.

Soonyoung hums softly, rubbing soothing circles on his thighs. “Let’s take a bath first then and get cleaned up. Cheol wants us down by 9 so we can get to the next location."

“We have a location already?” Jihoon asks, taking Soonyoung’s hand when his alpha offers to lead him into the bathroom.

“Kwan and them read whatever was on the letter to save us time,” says Soonyoung. “They wouldn’t tell me what was on it though. Said something about how it’s better if I read it myself since it’s directly addressed to me.”

Jihoon supports himself against the wall, watching as his alpha runs the water and puts his hand under it to test the temperature, then plugs the tub. He looks tense, movements stiff as if he’s being held at gun point. His eyes are hidden by his fringe, but where Jihoon can’t see his eyes, he can feel his emotions.

There’s something dark that sits in his chest, a complete contrast to the warmth he’d felt earlier. It’s a mix between worry and...aggravation. His alpha looks distracted, movements on autopilot as he pours some soap into the water and swishes his hand in it to make bubbles foam up.

Jihoon watches as Soonyoung removes his shirt swiftly, and his eyes automatically trail to his torso.

Scars litter the expanse of Soonyoung’s body, covering nearly every inch of his skin like a wallpaper. They’re faded now, some white and some pink as opposed to Jihoon’s scar. He doesn’t know how he’s never noticed it last night, but he supposes it’s because of how heat-clouded his mind was.

Reaching out with tentative fingertips, Jihoon touches one of the scars, right underneath Soonyoung’s shoulder. His alpha tenses for a split second before relaxing, turning his head to peer at him.

It’s quiet for a moment, with Jihoon just brushing his fingers across the expanse of Soonyoung’s skin, touching, feeling. Touching every scar he’s never gotten to treat, and every scar he hasn’t witnessed. Feeling all the bumps and ridges of each battle untold. A little forlorn, is what he feels, for having missed out on every chance to fight alongside Soonyoung’s side.

“You really are reckless, Kwon,” is all he whispers.

Wordlessly, Soonyoung turns around and smoothly grabs Jihoon’s hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a feathery kiss on his ring. His eyes speak a thousand words that don’t need to be said, but Jihoon understands it clearly.

_I’m okay. All for you._

And just yesterday morning, when Jihoon didn’t want anything to be his fault, when he asked Soonyoung nothing would be his fault if something were to happen — now he doesn’t want to put the blame on him. Seeing all the scars decorating Soonyoung’s body is enough proof that he’s trying. 

Tentatively, Jihoon removes his long-sleeved shirt. Contrary to his alpha, he doesn’t have as many scars. He works behind the screen and only ever gets on the actual battlefield when it’s an emergency. But still, Soonyoung’s eyes flicker down, like they’re magnetically drawn to the largest scar on his body.

Jihoon feels a twinge in his heart, emotions not his own, and he knows Soonyoung is probably still beating himself up to this very day over what happened two years ago.

Not wanting to dwell too much into it, he asks quietly, “Is it warm?"

Soonyoung stares at him for a moment, turns back to the bath, and replies, “Yeah."

Their pants and underwear come off and soon enough, Jihoon finds himself grasping tightly on his alpha’s hand as Soonyoung helps him into the tub. His legs are still a little wobbly, and the ache between them flares up with every step he takes. He finds himself struggling to sink down in the tub, face twisting into a grimace when the plug shifts inside him again.

“Slowly, kitten,” Soonyoung soothes, gently pressing down on the small of his back.

Jihoon sinks down slowly and sighs when the warm water meets his bottom. Bracing himself against Soonyoung’s thigh, he eases himself into a sitting position and melts back in his alpha’s hold, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He feels Soonyoung rub soothing circles on his hips as his alpha plants kisses down the side of his neck.

“Still sore?” questions Soonyoung.

“Yeah,” Jihoon admits, trying to relax his insides.

Soonyoung clicks his tongue. “You need to take it out, baby. It’s not good."

His alpha reaches down between his legs, probably to retrieve the plug, but Jihoon instinctively closes them, grabbing Soonyoung’s wrist defensively. He may be sore, but he likes the feeling of being filled. 

“Not yet,” he whines. “Later."

“Jihoonie..."

Wordlessly, Jihoon places Soonyoung’s hand on his stomach and holds it there, glancing at his alpha through his lashes in the hopes that maybe he’ll get the message. Soonyoung only stares at him for a moment, then to their intertwined hands and sighs, and Jihoon knows he’s won that round.

Closing his eyes, Jihoon asks, “Can we talk about it now?"

Soonyoung shifts a little behind him, seemingly reaching over for something. “Where do you want to start?"

Jihoon feels something cold drizzle on his head and seconds later, Soonyoung’s hands come up to knead gently into his hair. His chest rumbles, a soft, repetitive sound that makes its way to his throat as Soonyoung strokes through his strands thoroughly. Calmness washes over him, quite literally, as he feels every cell in his body just float.

“The cafe,” he mumbles, a little dazed. “With Kwan. The meeting you had that you wouldn’t tell me about."

Soonyoung doesn’t stop his movements but his fingers slow down. “Right,” he says quietly. 

Jihoon can almost hear Soonyoung’s thoughts, scattered all around and running endlessly in circles around his brain. The stillness of the bathroom between them tells Jihoon his alpha is trying to be more careful with his words, possible in fear of saying something that he might interpret differently.

“It was about you,” Soonyoung says finally. “I didn’t know what the situation was. He said something about translating a code Namjoon-hyung sent him, about Devil Hour and their deal in Nagasaki. And if I remember correctly, a picture of you and your personal info was somehow leaked to an organization, outside of our sector."

Jihoon stays quiet and makes sure to pay attention to the details given to him. Although they know now who’s been targeting them, it’s plausible that some minor details may be left out.

“And then he showed me a picture of me,” continues Soonyoung. “There was a reflect method being used and it translated to mate, omega. And at first, I thought that the people behind the screen were telling me I was an omega, but Kwan didn’t think so. They were referring to you — look down and close your eyes."

Doing as instructed, Jihoon tips his chin down and squeezes his eyes shut as he feels water being poured over his head, Soonyoung’s hands stroking through his strands to get rid of the shampoo. 

Although he’d known he was being targeted not too long ago, it still brings a dull dread to his chest. He can’t imagine all the worry Soonyoung must’ve been going through in that moment, all the emotions he’d felt and efforts he’d made to keep him safe.

“Whoever was behind the screen knew we were — are...involved with each other.” Soonyoung stumbles over his words, mind clearly still stuck to their fake-hate period. “Kwan thinks someone — Daehyun — is targeting you to hurt me."

Jihoon lets the information sink in as he squeezes the water out of his hair. Before Soonyoung had explained everything, he was so sure he’d understand why his alpha did what he’d done. He thought he’d be able to comprehend Soonyoung’s actions as his alpha protecting him but instead, he feels...confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me?"

Turning his head, he sees Soonyoung blink at him, almost innocently. “What?"

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jihoon repeats. “Why didn’t you tell me I was being targeted? Why did you hide it from me?"

He can see Soonyoung opening his mouth to explain, but he keeps going, fueled with pent-up frustration and having kept his feelings bottled up. He’d been able to vent — barely — when they had re-bonded, but there’s still a brewing annoyance in the pit of his stomach.

“You could’ve told me,” he says fiercely. “You could’ve told me and I could’ve helped track him down. I could’ve found where this fucker was instead of — “ He gestures around, “ — instead of us having to go through this shit. Hell, we probably would’ve jailed him by now! What, is it because I’m ‘impulsive’ when it comes to missions like these? Like Nae-ri?"

Soonyoung purses his lips. “That’s not why. Nae-ri happened after I found this out, Jihoon. How would I have known you’d be — "

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Jihoon interrupts again, finally turning his body around. “What was so hard about it? You thought I’d laugh at you and tell you you’re being ridiculous? That I’d be a cocky son of a bitch and tell you you’re wrong?"

“No, Jihoon — I — “ Sighing, Soonyoung wipes a wet hand across his face. “After I found out, I thought distancing myself from you would be the best way to protect you, because like what Seungkwan said, Daehyun was targeting you to hurt me. So by that logic, I thought maybe if he’s somehowable to see that we’re no longer — quote on quote — a thing — “ He puts two fingers up in the air and curls them twice, “ — then he’d leave you alone."

Jihoon rubs his temples. He can feel himself losing brain cells. “Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"

“I thought it was more stupid that he’d target me indirectly by using you instead of just targeting me,” Soonyoung confesses. “If Daehyun needed to target me only, he shouldn’t need you in the equation."

Sighing, Jihoon lets his alpha pull him back into his lap, and then feels a loofah being gently scrubbed against his shoulders. 

“Okay. Do you know why he’s targeting you then?” he asks.

“No,” replies Soonyoung. “That’s something I’ve been thinking about. I have a feeling it has something to do with me not taking over his company, but I can be completely wrong. Remember when eomma said he wouldn’t let her near his files when I introduced you as my mate to her? He’s unpredictable."

Jihoon bites the inside of his cheek as Soonyoung leans him back a little more to wash his front. He catches the moment his alpha hesitates over his scar, like he’s afraid he’ll get hurt if he so much as brushes a finger against it. Guiding his hand, Jihoon helps Soonyoung rub the loofah over it.

“When you started distancing yourself,” he starts, just to give his alpha a distraction, “why did it take so long for you to become so...cold? Like, I didn’t notice it at first, but then it was just this...sudden aggression that came from nowhere. If you were gonna distance yourself, wouldn’t you have done it quicker? You were still acting distant even after Nae-ri happened."

“Like you said, you didn’t notice,” Soonyoung answers. “I guess I needed time to figure out how I was gonna distance myself without being suspicious. I didn’t want us to separate but I needed to find a way to...break things off, if that makes sense. But then Nae-ri happened and I just...I think that was the final push I needed."

Jihoon tries not to let the hurt show on his face. “I see..."

“Jihoon, it’s not like I wanted it to happen,” Soonyoung murmurs. “But when you got stabbed...” Jihoon sees his hand clench around the loofah, “...it was like I was seeing a possibility of what could’ve happened if I didn’t break things off. God, you...I don’t even wanna think about it."

Feeling a deep sadness inside him, Jihoon tilts his head enough to see Soonyoung’s face, then cranes his neck up to place a kiss on his chin. He can feel the sadness wavering, just barely, until it gets heavier and heavier, sinking down, down, down, until it’s just sitting in his chest, plucking tauntingly at his heartstrings.

“I’m here,” he reassures quietly, bringing Soonyoung’s arm to wrap around his waist. “I’m here and alive. Tell me what you’re thinking about."

Soonyoung tucks his face in his wet neck, exhaling harshly. “Just...this mission. It’s like Daehyun has us right where he wants us. The fires that have led us to clues...the clues themselves being in places he wants us to be in. It’s like he’s been watching us, and I can’t help but feel uneasy. I don’t want another repeat of Nae-ri, and I don’t want you hurt in the process.”

“That’s gonna be inevitable,” Jihoon murmurs honestly, and he feels Soonyoung’s arm tighten around his waist. “If Daehyun does have your family held hostage, we’re gonna fight him until we get them back. I’m gonna get hurt in the process. You probably will too, but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna die.”

“I know, I know,” Soonyoung sighs, leaning Jihoon back against him again. “I’m just...scared. Spread your legs, baby. Don’t think I’ve forgotten."

Unconsciously pouting, Jihoon obediently spreads his legs and lets Soonyoung’s hand travel down between them. Now wanting to give himself a distraction from the soreness and emptiness he’s about to feel, he asks, “In Jecheon, back at the hotel, were you still trying to distance yourself when I found what was on your laptop?"

“I was,” Soonyoung admits, gently wriggling the plug out. “But then I kinda exposed myself and I couldn’t hide it anymore. My plan was to push you away again, but you’re so damn stubborn, you know?"

“So I’ve been told,” hisses Jihoon when his alpha finally manages to take the plug out completely and uses his foot to drain the tub.

Almost forlornly, Jihoon watches the water run down the drain, his stomach deflating to its normal size. Had he not been stubborn enough, he probably wouldn’t be in this position now, rightfully in Soonyoung’s arms. He supposes he should be grateful of that trait of his lest he and Soonyoung go back to square one. 

“I thought our bond was gonna break,” he confesses quietly, eyes trained on the drain. “I thought that was gonna be the end."

“I made sure it wouldn’t,” Soonyoung reassures. “After all the effort of trying to keep you safe, it would’ve been a waste. I would’ve never forgiven myself, and I’m sure you wouldn’t have either."

Jihoon nods in agreement but he’s sure he would not only  _not _ forgive Soonyoung, but he wouldn’t forgive himself either. For letting his alpha slip through his fingers when all he needed was that final push. For not trying hard enough and almost giving up because he thought it was all he could do.

“What’s on your mind?” Soonyoung asks gently.

Shrugging, Jihoon sighs and turns the water on again to fill up the tub, foot pressing down on the drain. “I think I just need some time to process. I mean, it’s not that much to understand, I just need to collect my thoughts,” he admits. “It was...a lot. I feel like I have more questions to ask, but we’ve probably talked about it already."

He feels a kiss on his nape. “Let me know then."

Heart swelling with affection, Jihoon tilts his head back against Soonyoung’s shoulder and gazes up at him, and feels every cell in his body relax when his alpha presses another lingering kiss on his forehead. 

When he and Soonyoung made up in Jecheon, he didn’t think he’d feel any lighter than he did then. But now, curled up intimately in his alpha’s lap with no space or clothes separating them, he feels like his heart is flying inside his chest. Every gentle touch and every fleeting kiss makes him react as though they’ve never hit the downsides of their relationship.

“Thank you,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut when Soonyoung begins to scent him. “Thank you for telling me now...and coming back to me."

It’s not enough words to express his gratitude. He’s never been one to speak a lot, but he knows Soonyoung understands him. It’s always been like that; where his mouth may not form the words he wants to say, but Soonyoung has always been a better listener than most people.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Soonyoung whispers back, nudging him gently. “And for being patient."

Jihoon doesn’t say anything or else they’ll just begin thanking each other endlessly. Instead, he watches Soonyoung’s face through hooded eyes, feeling his alpha wash him down properly with gentle movements, arms surrounding him like he’s made of fine China.

Another purr rumbles in his throat, loud and relaxed as his limbs go lax. He feels a rumble beneath his cheek, another kiss to his temple, and lets his eyes flutter shut.

When he opens his eyes again, it feels like he’s been asleep for ten hours. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this relaxed during the duration of their mission and even then, he doesn’t recall purring this loudly. He feels like he could just float away.

“Baby.” He feels plush lips brush against the shell of his ear. “We’re pruning."

Still purring, he hums, not paying much attention to it, and hears Soonyoung laugh fondly. “Don’t make me carry you."

“Try me."

He hears Soonyoung click his tongue and seconds later, the comfortable warmth leaves him, exposing him to the sudden cool air. Whining, grumbling, huffing — anything to show his displeasure, Jihoon opens his eyes, only to shriek in surprise when he’s lifted completely out of the warm bath.

“Yah!” he exclaims, grunting when he’s thrown over Soonyoung’s shoulder. “Yah! I was joking! Soonyoung — Kwon Soonyoung, put me down right  _NOW — "_

His voice cracks when a sharp sting lands on his bare bottom. A soothing rub and a cackle accompanies it, as if his mate is trying to comfort him. He only sees their reflection in the mirror for a split second before Soonyoung is setting him down, and before he can make a retort, a towel is being wrapped messily around him.

After rubbing his face, he glares at Soonyoung with annoyance, who’s only grinning back at him in amusement and wrapping a towel around his waist.

“Oh my god,” his alpha croons. “You look like a wet kitten."

“Shut up,” Jihoon growls, swatting Soonyoung’s hand away from patting his hair. “So annoying."

“Annoying?” squawks Soonyoung. “I’ll show you annoying."

Lips curling up, Jihoon spins on his heel and runs out of the bathroom, laughter echoing against the walls as his alpha chases him around the hotel room. He finds himself landing on the couch, giggles slipping from his lips as Soonyoung lands on top of him, tickles and kisses attacking him endlessly.

His heart is so, so full. Full of love and affection for his alpha. And though they still have a road of recovery ahead of them, he doesn’t think it’s too long a trail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I decided to be nice and make this complete and total fluff (sorry, shower sex scene, maybe save you for another time) and I was actually originally gonna have Soonyoung and Jihoon take pictures together or watch their old videos and photos together while they were eating breakfast, but I felt like it was best to leave it be where I ended it.
> 
> OKAY, WOW, THE FALLIN’ FLOWER CHOREO.
> 
> I kind of wish some of the shots would’ve been from an aerial view (especially when they use the blooming flower formations) and I kind of wish they’d release a video of Minghao and Soonyoung’s chain dance cuz that part is so pretty.
> 
> Also thanks to the Twitter user who revealed that the intricate hand movements they do in the beginning and end is them not being able to catch the falling flower to them finally catching it. Ughhh, Pledis choreographers are big brain.
> 
> AND the fact they made the choreography back in December. Ugh, they’re so hardworking.
> 
> I think one of my favorite parts of the choreography (other than literally everything about the choreography) is when Seokmin’s part comes on and the movements are so slow and elegant, phew.
> 
> I’ve been rewatching SVT’s sbs and mbc performances cuz i literally have nothing else to do than fangirl about 13 men that i’ll probably never meet TT but it’s okay, i love them.
> 
> Also rich bf Soonyoung for buying those two bears for Jihoon’s studio.
> 
> AND Soonyoung’s cover of Phonecert PLS his little auto-tuned “Horanghae~” that’s completely out of place but also kinda fits? And his “coffee, popcorn, anything~” and those falsetto high notes PLEASE. And him adding Carats cheering to his “What time is it?” at the end :( and his 10:10 and tiger agenda, he really be spoiling Carats.
> 
> I’m so proud of him though, on a real note. From being insecure about his voice to posting covers frequently for Carats. His voice has improved so much and I feel as though he’s finally able to control how his voice works. Soonyoung best boy.
> 
> Also behind the scenes Soonyoung for Elle and Minghao for Dazed, ughhh.
> 
> I’ve also been listening to Jihoon’s Bye Bye My Blue cover again.
> 
> ALSO if you guys have song recommendations, please send. I’ll listen to anything; I need to add more songs to my playlist TT 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Five years,” answers Soonyoung.
> 
> “FIVE?!"
> 
> “Five years?!"
> 
> “How the hell were you two in a relationship for that long without anyone noticing?"
> 
> “Actually,” Soonyoung interrupts. “Someone did find out about us, and I ended up having to explain everything to him so he wouldn’t tell anyone about us. And that person told another someone about us not too long ago actually."
> 
> He can see the way Seungkwan is fidgeting nervously in the backseat as murmurs of disbelief fill the bus again. In front of him, Jeonghan is staring out the window thoughtfully, chin resting on his palm almost nonchalantly, but Soonyoung can see the way his knee bounces up and down.
> 
> “I found out from Seungkwan,” reveals Jeonghan after a few seconds. “He told me while we were searching at the temples."


	27. Delineate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delineate  
/dəˈlinēˌāt/
> 
> verb
> 
> 1\. describe or portray (something) precisely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the truth unfolds, hehe.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**HOTEL  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Uiseong, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Bibong-ri

When they get back to the bus after their mini tickle fight and tipping a rather flustered receptionist, the doors are locked and Seungcheol is seemingly sleeping against the wheel from what they can see through the tinted windows. They must’ve taken a while to get ready if their leader had managed to fall asleep again.

Reaching out to knock on the glass door, Soonyoung drapes himself over Jihoon’s back, plastic bags and the duffel bag weighing him down like heavy weights. He’d refused Jihoon’s help simply because his omega is still sore and he’d feel bad to make him endure more.

“You surely didn’t lose weight,” Jihoon remarks, tilting his head when Soonyoung lays his chin on his shoulder. “You’ve been slacking off on your diets, haven’t you?"

“Rude,” he grumbles in return, reaching round with his free hand to pinch Jihoon’s side. His lips curl up at the startled yelp that slips from his omega’s lips, and he grunts when Jihoon elbows him in return.

The doors finally slide in with a _whoosh_ and they both straighten up, meeting Seungcheol’s eyes from where he’s sitting in the driver’s seat. His lips are pursed, arms crossed expectantly, and Soonyoung can only raise the plastic bags in his hands with a sheepish smile. 

After a moment, Seungcheol sighs, “Come in, you two. You already know what’s happening next."

Soonyoung and Jihoon both climb in the bus, and when the doors close behind them, Soonyoung feels as though a thousand needles are piercing into his skin. A little uncomfortable with how quiet the atmosphere is, he looks up and knows why he feels prickly.

The group is looking at them questioningly, eagerly, but no one makes a move to talk. 

Setting the plastic bags down on the mini table, he sighs, ready to answer, but it’s Jihoon who beats him to it.

“If you guys wanna ask, just ask,” Jihoon says exasperatedly, throwing his hands up. “There’s nothing to hide at this point."

Like that, the bus fills with chatter. Questions are thrown left and right, accusations smacking their faces like a reality check. It’s almost overwhelming but it’s nothing they’re not used to. Soonyoung supposes this is one of the cons of working with such a large group. 

“Hey!” yells Seungcheol, quickly grabbing everyone’s attention and shutting them right up. “One at a time, please. It’s too early to be dealing with you guys screaming. Channie, why don’t you go first while I start driving?"

Chan speaks up, voice loud and incredulous, “Why didn’t you guys say anything?! About your relationship? It’s bad enough I was the last one to find out the ’95-liners were in a relationship, and now you two too? How are you two even — what the hell — you two have hated each other as far as I can remember!"

The youngest alpha is panting a little by the end of his rant, so Soonyoung takes a bottle of water from one of the bags and throws it at him.

“It was already bad enough we were in a relationship in an industry as dangerous as this,” he explains calmly, a complete contrast to Chan’s outburst. “Since we still have guys coming after us, imagine what would’ve happened if we were to expose ourselves. ’95-liner hyungs were already in a relationship before they enlisted here; it’s harder for us because Jihoon and I only met each other after enlisting."

“And I think we mentioned it before,” Jihoon continues, “but all the hating each other’s guts thing turned out to be the complete opposite. We cleared things up a little back in Jecheon and it turns out, we’ve still had feelings for each other the whole time; we were just stupid enough to believe the other person still 'hated' us."

“Wait, okay,” Mingyu interrupts. “So you both were pretending to hate each other this whole time when in reality, you both still had feelings for each other?"

“Thanks for repeating what I said,” says Jihoon dryly.

“Wait, okay, how long have you two been together?” Wonwoo questions, rubbing his temples. 

“Five years,” answers Soonyoung.

“FIVE?!"

“Five years?!"

“How the hell were you two in a relationship for that long without anyone noticing?"

“Actually,” Soonyoung interrupts. “Someone did find out about us, and I ended up having to explain everything to him so he wouldn’t tell anyone about us. And that person told another someone about us not too long ago actually."

He can see the way Seungkwan is fidgeting nervously in the backseat as murmurs of disbelief fill the bus again. In front of him, Jeonghan is staring out the window thoughtfully, chin resting on his palm almost nonchalantly, but Soonyoung can see the way his knee bounces up and down.

“I found out from Seungkwan,” reveals Jeonghan after a few seconds. “He told me while we were searching at the temples."

Seungkwan sinks into his seat, groaning. “I found out they were in a relationship when we spent Chuseok together four years ago."

“Wait, how?” Mingyu ponders. “They told you?"

Shaking his head, Seungkwan says, “No. I was taking pictures back then, and I just so happened to catch one of Soonyoung-hyung and Jihoon-hyung looking at the fireworks. And at first, I didn’t think there was anything unusual about it but it looked like they were holding hands, so I asked Soonyoung-hyung about it and he ended up telling me."

The information seems to process deep in everyone’s minds, so Soonyoung chances a glance at Jihoon. His omega has his poker face on, but he can feel the worry that quenches deep in his gut. 

“So...you guys bonded in the hotel?” Joshua asks slowly. “On the whim?"

“It wasn’t on the whim,” Jihoon says defensively. “We already bonded three years ago when we were still rooming together ― "

“Three years ago?!” shrieks Seokmin. “THAT long? What, was that on the whim too?"

“It wasn’t on the whim,” Jihoon repeats exasperatedly. “We’d already been planning on bonding anyway the next time my heat hit. And...we may or may not have planned our future then too."

“Wait, I’m still confused,” Hansol says, scratching his head. “So you both were pretending to hate each other, right? Was that, like, intentional to make us think you guys weren’t a thing or was that actually...like, how you felt about each other?"

Soonyoung purses his lips. “Jihoon and I didn’t know the other still had feelings. We had a falling out after Nae-ri happened and that lead to us hating on each other ― or pretending, at least."

“How did you guys find out?” Junhui questions. “That it was all fake?"

“I had to borrow a laptop from Seungkwan,” explains Jihoon. “But Soonyoung was the only one who brought one aside from my team, so he gave me his instead. I needed it to translate the clue we got back in Wonju but for some reason, his laptop started bugging out and a bunch of folders opened. There were pictures of Soonyoung and I from when we were still together, and so that’s how I found out."

“He came into my room again to confront me about it,” continues Soonyoung, resting his weight on the seat in front of him. “There was a bunch of yelling, tears, whatever. We ended up making up then but we still weren’t, like, together like we were before."

“So that’s why you and Jihoon were together when you came to the diner that time,” Wonwoo realizes. 

“Wait!” Mingyu exclaims. “Was that where the truce thing came from? Because you guys talked your feelings out?"

“Yes,” Jihoon says in annoyance. “We didn’t know where we stood after that, so we decided to be friends or whatever."

“So that’s why you were able to calm Soonyoung down so quickly when he lashed out when we went to Uiseong,” Jeonghan observes. “Your wolves were already familiar with each other and you guys already bonded."

“Yes, that too,” sighs Jihoon.

“What caused you guys to fall out in the first place?” questions Minghao, having been silent the whole time.

Soonyoung and Jihoon catch each other’s eyes, as if they’re debating whether it’s a good idea to let their group in on their secret too. For the past week, they’ve been tip-toeing around revealing secrets to each other, and to let the group in on it too is a big risk.

Turning back to the group, Soonyoung says, “Seungkwan told me someone was targeting Jihoon to hurt me around two years ago, before the Nae-ri mission. Namely, that person would be Daehyun if our assumptions are correct. Before and after Nae-ri, Jihoon and I would fight constantly. All of it was on purpose on my end, and Jihoon didn’t know that ― "

“Wait, what the hell?” Wonwoo questions, eyes narrowing. “So you purposefully fought with Jihoon? For what? What did you gain out of it?"

Soonyoung sighs. “My intentions were to push him away from me as far as possible, and maybe get the person targeting us to realize that we were no longer involved with each other,” he explains. “If that person only needed to target me, why would they bring Jihoon into the equation? That just didn’t make any sense to me.” 

“So let’s say Daehyun is the same person who’s been targeting you two  and starting the fires,” Seungcheol starts. “Do you know why he’s doing what he’s doing?"

“I don’t have an exact idea,” says Soonyoung, placing his chin in the palm of his hand. “Like I told Jihoon earlier, Daehyun can be completely unpredictable. And like Jihoon said back in Yecheon, it might have something to do with the fact that I didn’t take over his company when he demanded."

The quietness runs through the bus after that, and so does his mind. Everything about this whole mission is confusing in itself, but they have a lead now, one they can’t afford to lose. 

“So...do you guys have the letter?” Soonyoung asks after a few moments. “The letter from the temple?"

Like that, the atmosphere inside the bus shifts into something more tense than before, and he watches as everyone eyes each other uneasily. Upon seeing their faces, an unsettling feeling begins to weigh down on his chest. Shifting from foot to foot, he turns to Seungkwan questioningly.

“What’s wrong?"

“Um,” utters Seungkwan, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a folder. Opening it, he pulls out the letter from the temple. “Hyung, I think you should sit down for this one."

Frowning, Soonyoung takes a seat next to Jihoon and takes the letter, repeating, “What’s wrong?"

With nobody answering his question, he takes it upon himself to open the letter, and finds two pictures and a folded piece of paper. Taking the items out, he stares at the pictures, and feels all the blood drain from his face when he sees what’s on it.

The first picture is a close-up of Joonseo’s face. His dongsaeng’s lips are curled back into a snarl, eyes glaring at the person who took the photo. Hair mussed up, knotted, and tangled, there’s blood dripping from his forehead, an alarming amount that has Soonyoung’s chest igniting angrily. There’s a worryingly dark circle covering his right eye, which looks close to being swollen, like he’d been punched in the face repeatedly. Upon closer inspection, Soonyoung can see a pink ring around Joonseo’s neck, as if he’d been placed in a silver harness and nearly strangled.

Turning the photo over, the words _‘say cheese :)’_ greet Soonyoung, like the bastard is mocking him.Feeling the heat beginning to get to him, he looks at the next one, heart pounding with how furious he is.

The photo is seemingly taken from a surveillance camera’s perspective, looking down at his mother. She’s sitting on a bed, curled up in a ball in the corner and glaring at someone through the slit in the metal door. She has chains tied to all four of her limbs, holding her in place and keeping her locked to the bed. Her clothes are alarmingly ripped, as if Daehyun tried something with her but didn’t succeed. The picture is too low quality for Soonyoung to clearly see her face but he doesn’t want to think about what else could happen.

Hands shaking, he turns the photo over and sees _‘she said no :( maybe next time’_ staring back at him tauntingly. He feels his temple pulse at the implication, and struggles to hold himself back from ripping the photos apart.

Slowly, wanting to give himself some time to cool down even just for a second, he opens the folded up piece of paper. Blinking fiercely to get rid of the haze clouding up in his vision, he reads what’s written.

_ Come to the place where it all began or say goodbye to Joonseo. _

_Come alone or it won’t just be him._

”I’m gonna kill him,” he mutters coldly, crumpling the piece of paper up. “I’m gonna kill that piece of shit."

Jihoon is quick to act beside him, placing a gentle hand on top of his clenched fists and taking the photos and paper from his grasp. His lips are pursed tersely as he examines the photos, observant eyes catching anything Soonyoung might’ve missed. He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, not until he’s read the paper.

“You’re not going alone,” Jihoon says immediately. 

Soonyoung scoffs. “Well, you read it, right? It’s not just gonna be Joonseo I’m saying bye to."

“You think Daehyun is that stupid to tell you he wants you to go alone when he doesn’t have anything planned?” Jihoon reasons. “He has sick intentions in mind. He has a plan once he gets you where he wants you. You are not going to face him alone. I won’t let you."

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” Soonyoung asks exasperatedly, throwing his hands out. 

Jihoon gnaws on his bottom lip, glancing at the paper again. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “But we’ll think of something soon. We always do. For now, he wants us to come to the place where it all began."

“The place where it all began, huh?” Joshua speaks up thoughtfully. “If he means the literal beginning, that could mean where he started the deal, which would be all the way in Japan, but I doubt he flew there in such a short amount of time."

“He might also be referring to where he first found out about us,” Jihoon murmurs, nudging Soonyoung. “Which would mean back in eomma’s apartment."

Soonyoung runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t think so. He wouldn’t have traveled all the way out here just to make a u-turn back to Namyangju. It must be somewhere we’re headed to and somewhere familiar. Otherwise, having us come out to Uiseong would just be a waste of his time."

“Could it be he’s talking about Nae-ri?” inquires Hansol. “I mean, technically, that is where everything began. He might be referring to when your relationship fell apart, because maybe that's what his intentions were all along. To target Jihoon-hyung and hurt Soonyoung-hyung in the process and have their bond weaken so they could become an easier target."

“Oh!” exclaims Seungkwan. “That would make sense though. Nae-ri is one of the destinations we’re familiar with that we could be headed to, and Nae-ri is in Busan too. Soonyoung-hyung said Daehyun’s been traveling down to Busan even after traveling back and forth from Japan, right?"

“So he’s been watching us ever since Nae-ri happened?” Mingyu questions. “Is that even possible?"

“It’s completely possible,” Jeonghan confirms. “Remember the code we received from Yecheon? The D-H? Devil Hour was the organization we were fighting in Nae-ri, and if I remember correctly, the code translated to ‘Song Daehyun reporting. Nagasaki deal, owe to Devil Hour.’ It’s possible Daehyun has been working with Devil Hour ever since, maybe even before Nae-ri happened."

“Because Daehyun apparently owes something to Devil Hour, right?” Seungcheol reaffirms. “It just has something to do with the Nagasaki deal they made. We just don’t know what was in the deal."

Soonyoung can feel the gears in his head turning as he stares blankly at the seat in front of him. He doesn’t want to admit how accurate Hansol’s prediction could be but then again, it’s completely possible. They’ve made it a little over half of South Korea at this point, and Nae-ri is coming up their way. 

He can feel Jihoon’s eyes on him. “Soonyoung..."

“No, Jihoon,” Soonyoung says strongly, turning his head to look at the espionage with a firm gaze. “If it’s true he wants us back at Nae-ri, I am going there alone."

Jihoon gapes at him. “You can’t be serious,” he says incredulously. “Soonyoung, are you crazy?! Did you listen to what I said earlier? The reason he wants you to go there alone is because he has  something planned, whether or not it’s to force you to take over the company, trade you off to Devil Hour for the negotiation, maybe something with your family, or even ― even ― “ Jihoon throws his hands out wildly, lips moving a mile a second. “Maybe even kill you! Are you hearing yourself right now?!"

There’s a looming anger sitting in Soonyoung’s chest, but it’s not his own. It’s pent-up frustration and worry that’s building up, beginning to suffocate him. He knows he sounds crazy, but he has his reasons.

“And if we go with the going together route?” Soonyoung asks, scoffing. “I am  not going to have a repeat of Nae-ri, Jihoon. That’s final."

“No, this is not final without my say, Soonyoung!” Jihoon fights back fiercely, eyes narrowed into a glare. “Who says it’ll be another repeat of Nae-ri? What, are you still hung up over the fact that I got stabbed?"

“Yes!” Soonyoung bursts, making Jihoon falter a little. “It’s not just about you getting stabbed, Jihoon. It’s the fact that once we’re out there on the battlefield, I won’t be able to look after you. Like you told me, we have our priorities, and you being safe is one of mine, mission be damned. So yeah, it might not be exactly like Nae-ri, but I am not taking that risk."

“Then what about me?!” Jihoon’s voice cracks but he’s not crying. “What about me, when you’re out there all alone? What, do you expect me just to sit here and worry about you when you’re out there fighting for your family and your own life? When Daehyun has the potential to take you down and I’m not there to help you?"

“They’re my family, Jihoon. Me going out there can’t be helped,” Soonyoung says firmly.

Jihoon’s fists clench in his lap. “You told me you didn’t want us to separate again or you’d be done. What happened to that?"

Soonyoung exhales harshly. “I’m separating from you willingly."

“Like you did after Nae-ri happened, right?” spits Jihoon, opting to look out the window and hide his face from view. “Sure. Willingly. Then it’ll be a whole ’nother repeat of hating each other, huh? This time, for real."

Soonyoung freezes, heart sinking at the truth behind Jihoon’s words. There’s another deeper sinking feeling in his chest, more heavy with emotion, and he can only imagine what’s going on in Jihoon’s head now.

Glancing at the younger man, he catches sight of Jihoon’s hand coming up to wipe at his face, and his heart aches when he sees the stripe of wetness on the back of his hand. It’s clear he’s hurt and granted, Soonyoung could’ve said that sentence a little better, but the damage is done.

“Jihoon,” he says softly, reaching out to take his omega’s hand. “Don’t say that, please..."

Jihoon bats his hand away, and without turning around, snaps, “Shut up. The moment you say shit like that to me, I’ll say what I want to."

Swallowing, more upset at himself than he is at Jihoon, Soonyoung stays quiet and leans his head back against the seat with a dejected sigh. It’s times like these where he truly believes he needs to get his head out of his ass and see things from other people’s perspectives. 

An awkward silence runs through the bus.

“So, um, hyung,” coughs Seungkwan. “Speaking of which...did you get word from Minkyung-noona yet?"

Soonyoung frowns and takes his phone out from his pocket. “No, actually. I should call Hongjoong real quick."

It’s a pathetic distraction, an attempt to get his mind off the guilt weighing in his chest, but it proves to be effective when Hongjoong picks up after a couple of rings.

_”Hyung,”_ Hongjoong greets. _”Sorry, I was supposed to call you last night but the service here is pretty slow."_

”What’s your status?” Soonyoung questions.

_”Everything seems clear on our end,”_ Hongjoong replies swiftly, a more professional tone in his voice. _”My team and I rented the rooms right next to noona’s if it makes you feel any better. Nobody seems to have been here yet, but we’re on high alert. I have Apple, Minki, Retriever, and Mars doing routinely patrols around the block while Hehe-Mon, Sanjook, Corgi, and I are monitoring the floor halls."_

That sends a bit of reassurance to Soonyoung, as well as a sense of pride. “Thanks,” he says gratefully. “Is she awake now? Can I speak with her?"

_”Yeah, sure, wait one sec...” _

There’s a soft padding of footsteps, a knock, a door opening, and a familiar voice that has Soonyoung relaxing.  _”Hoshi-yah?"_

”Hey, how you holdin' up?” Soonyoung asks softly. 

There’s a breathy laugh, but Soonyoung can hear the amount of stress and worry in her voice. _”Hanging in there,” _she jokes, before her tone becomes more serious. _”Just...worried, but that’s inevitable anyway. Is...Is there any news? How are you guys holding up?"_

Soonyoung sighs, sinking into the seat. “We have a lead, we have suspicions, we might have the location...no plan yet. Or, we do have a plan, we just...aren’t agreeing. We’re...holding up alright."

_”We?”_ There’s a pause. _”Wait...is Woozi-yah...?"_

“He’s here,” Soonyoung says. “Do you wanna talk to him?"

_”Please."_

Pulling the phone away from his ear, he nudges it against Jihoon’s arm. Jihoon, who turns around with tear-stained cheeks and avoids all eye contact, takes the phone without question and faces the window again, voice low and quiet. The split second Soonyoung sees of Jihoon’s face makes him feel like an asshole.

Turning his head away, not wanting to eavesdrop to make himself feel worst than he already is, his eyes find Seungkwan’s. Two seats back, Seungkwan cocks his chin and tilts his head towards Jihoon, eyebrows furrowing like he’s asking  _what happened?_ Soonyoung only shakes his head, mouthing a ‘later’ to him. He doesn’t know when that ‘later’ will be.

Jihoon nudges him after what seems like forever, handing him back his phone curtly. Soonyoung presses it against his ear, curious about the conversation they had. Minkyung is good at comforting people, if the small smile on Jihoon’s face is anything to go by.

“Noona?” he asks, just so Minkyung knows she’s talking to him now.

_”Hoshi-yah, take care of him, okay?”_ Minkyung says, voice cheery yet soft. He doesn’t need to know who she’s referring to. _”Do you really wanna head first into this mission knowing he’s worried sick about you? That there’s a possibility of you dying and he won’t know about it until it’s too late? That when you’re in the hospital bed, he’ll be blaming himself and crying himself to sleep knowing he had the opportunity to stop you, yet he didn’t?"_

Soonyoung feels like a little kid again, and although it isn’t his mother reprimanding him this time, his sister is a close second. Minkyung has always kept a close eye on him, especially when he’d gotten bullied in middle school for his looks. Maybe a little protective, in his opinion, but she’s wise and her intentions are in good spirits.

And although it doesn’t surprise him to hear Minkyung talking about the situation, he’s a little hurt by how truthful her words are. She’s always been like that. Much like their mother, she’s not afraid to hit the bullseye where it hurts the most.

_”It’s not gonna just be him crying,”_ Minkyung goes on. _”What would eomma and our dongsaeng think knowing you got hurt trying to save them alone? I know I’d be crying knowing my brother got hurt and he wasn’t able to showcase his black belt taekwondo moves."_

Soonyoung snorts. “I don’t wanna make the same mistake twice,” is what he says, voice quiet. “You’d understand why I wanna do this."

Minkyung sighs.  _ ”I do, but you need to understand where he’s coming from. If the roles were reversed and he told you that you can’t come with him while he’s about to fight for his life, wouldn’t you want to go protect him?" _

“Of course, but ― "

_”But nothing. You and him are one now, and when you get hurt, he’s also gonna get hurt,”_ Minkyung reasons. _”Hoshi, I’m saying this as your sister and because I love you ― you’re one of the most selfishly selfless people I know. You can’t tell him you won’t leave him again one moment when you’re gonna separate from him the next. I know you want him to be safe, but would you rather risk him getting hurt for one moment, or would you rather have him hurting for the rest of his life knowing you got hurt?"_

_ Would you rather risk him getting stabbed one moment and getting better the next, or have him suffer more when he sees you on your death bed? _

Leaning his forehead against the seat in front of him, Soonyoung squeezes his eyes shut. “You act too much like eomma."

Minkyung chuckles.  _”You’re reckless when it comes to love, Hoshi. You do things impulsively. You’re a follow-your-heart type of person, but think rationally from now on. There’s no harm in using your brain for once ― "_

”Hey."

_” ― but that’s why he’s still with you today. Because you’re an idiot and he knows how much you care. Don’t take his refusal as a bad thing, Hoshi; he’s worried because he loves you, so show him how much you love him too and listen to what he wants. He doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to you too.” _

Silently, Soonyoung mulls over Minkyung’s words and feels the tension slip from his shoulders. A soothing lull bristles softly inside his chest, relieved to have gotten answers instead of searching for them.

“And if it does happen...?” he asks.

_ ”Then I’ll personally drive to the hospital and beat the shit out of you myself with my taekwondo moves." _

Surprised at the unexpected threat, Soonyoung laughs, now realizing how much he misses his sister. Even miles apart, she’s not afraid to give serious situations some light atmosphere.

“I’ll send you the location of which hospital I end up in,” he says playfully.

Minkyung snorts, clears her throat, and with a more serious tone, says,  _”No, but really. I mean it, Hoshi. Please be careful out there and use your head, okay? I don’t have dying brother on my agenda any time soon, or ever."_

”I ― Yeah,” Soonyoung breathes. “Thanks, by the way. I’ll make sure to bring the both of them back."

_”With you, Soon-ah,”_ Minkyung encourages._ "__Bring them back with you."_

Hesitating, because he’s not sure himself, he swallows and says, “Sure, noona. I’ll...I’ll try."

_”No, you will,”_ insists his noona. _”Don’t let this be our last phone call, Hoshi-yah. If there’s ever a doubt in your mind, just remember my threat, got it? I can still beat you, don’t forget.”_

“Of course, noona. I’ll call you later then,” Soonyoung says as reassuringly as he can. “Love you."

_”Love you too, stupid."_

The call ends with a click and Soonyoung pockets his phone, allowing himself to think for a moment. Had Minkyung not told him and rightfully reprimanded him for his actions, he probably would’ve followed his heart and told Jihoon to stay back. Now, when he turns his head to look at his mate, all he feels is regret. Regret for not keeping true to his word like he’d thought he’d been able to.

_ Having Jihoon stay back would mean keeping him safe, but would that even matter if I get hurt in the process? _ Soonyoung thinks, eyes lowering to the ring on Jihoon’s finger. _I’d be able to focus better if I didn’t have to worry about him...but then...if I were to get hurt, he’d probably rebel against me anyway and come to my aid. _

Pursing his lips, he exhales heavily through his nose. _If it were me, I’d do the same thing._

Hesitantly, he reaches out and grazes his hand against Jihoon’s, tentatively watching to see if his omega would pull away. Jihoon doesn’t face him but there’s no sign of retreat in his movements either. Deciding to go for it, he goes ahead and laces their fingers together, feeling lighter now that they’re making skin contact again.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles lowly, just for the two of them to hear. “I just don’t want you to get hurt."

It’s quiet for a moment, then Jihoon finally faces him, letting a long, drawn-out sigh. “Me getting hurt is inevitable,” he says quietly, playing with the ring on Soonyoung’s finger. “I told you when we bonded, right? You can’t put me first. I won’t be your priority when we’re out there."

The words don’t sit too well in Soonyoung’s mind. “I won’t have to worry about you if you stay back and I’m careful enough. Daehyun is unpredictable ― "

Jihoon pinches the fat between his fingers. “If he’s so unpredictable, then you won’t know what he’s gonna do either,” he reasons. “You can’t keep making that excuse, Soonyoung. We don’t even know why he’s doing what he’s doing; that’s enough to tell me that going there alone is a stupid idea."

His words are within reason but Soonyoung finds himself growing frustrated. “Then you would know why I don’t want you coming with me."

“And you would know why I don’t want you going alone,” Jihoon retaliates, staring challengingly at him.

Sighing, not quite sure what to do and frankly, a lot more conflicted than before, Soonyoung says, “We don’t have a plan."

“We’ll think of one."

“We’ll both get hurt."

“I’m well aware."

“I can’t look after you."

“I can take care of myself."

“We’ll probably be separated in the middle of it."

“I’ll find you again."

“The same thing might happen ― "

Jihoon leans forward and presses a lingering kiss on his lips. “It won’t."

With another sigh, feeling Jihoon’s determination grow, Soonyoung leans his temple against the seat and closes his eyes. The kiss burns soothingly on his lips, like a reassurance that they’ll both be okay after this. that there’s something other than death waiting for them by the end of it all.

“You won’t give up?” he asks for good measure.

“Not like last time,” comes Jihoon’s reply. “I won’t make that mistake again."

He feels Jihoon’s forehead touch his and he peels his eyes open to find his mate already looking at him. Jihoon squeezes his hand wordlessly, a silent encouragement passing between them.

Soonyoung sighs. “I’ll think about it."

Jihoon lets out a noise that sounds like a mix between a scoff and an exhale. “I guess that’s the closest I’m gonna get for now."

“So...” Seungcheol speaks up awkwardly. “Now that we got that out of the way...someone call Hongjoong and Namjoon-hyung, have them on the same line so we can think of a plan. We’re not letting you go there alone, Soonyoung.” He eyes Soonyoung through the rearview mirror, lips curling up. “You might be a headache, but you’re our headache."

“Oh my god, hyung,” Seungkwan groans. “That is definitely not as sweet as you think it is."

Like that, the bus falls into easy talk again as the members tease their eldest hyung, who’s pathetically defending himself and retaliating with embarrassment.

Lips quirking, Soonyoung feels Jihoon nuzzle into him and whisper a soft, “I love you,” into his ear, and it’s completely random yet so Jihoon, to say something with so much meaning in unexpected situations. 

Fiddling with Jihoon’s ring, he mumbles it back, “I love you too."

He’ll be damned if it’s their last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot more talking and understanding will come in the next few chapters, and I’m proud (and also sad) to say that we are slowly nearing the end of this book! Maybe 4-6 chapters left :,)
> 
> ALSO, if you see any of my old fics being updated, I’m not changing much, I’m just planning on going through some major editing (especially for typos).
> 
> And nO, we are NOT gonna talk about shirtless SVT in the latest Inside Seventeen episode.
> 
> .
> 
> anYWAy, Joshua’s broad back and you can clearly see how much he’s been working out phew  
AND how Channie isn’t a baby anymore but he’ll always be our baby (and Jeonghannie’s baby) forever  
AND THEN Soonyoung’s silhouette when he hauled himself out of the water likE the shadows were clearly covering him up and idk if I should be grateful or not for that
> 
> AND Soonyoung’s Elle interview where he introduces (and attempts) to build a drone, and then him denying being a hamster when he clearly is one.  
BUT his duality??? I don’t understand??
> 
> aLSO Seungcheol silver hair :( clap era is back and idk if I’m ready
> 
> also online school isn’t helping me at all lmao. It’s so hard trying to keep up with classes now.
> 
> On a more serious note, I’ve been really thinking about my future career and what I want to be (which is namely to become a music producer), and I’m worried that it won’t be a stable enough job. I really don’t want to have to change plans since I don’t really have any other interests other than being in the creative field, but if it comes down to it, I’m not sure what I’d do. I know lots of producers have day jobs and I’ve been thinking about doing covers on YT but I don’t really have a good voice lol. I have experience writing songs but not actually producing music, y’know? I’ve also been trying to learn a new instrument every year (rn, it’s guitar) but I’m just, like, totally lost on what to do. Idk, I’ve been trying to go with the flow of things rn but I’m low-key kinda panicking, haha.
> 
> Anyway, stay healthy and safe everyone! And if you’re an essential worker, thank you for your service!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Namjoon clears his throat. ”What’s your plan?"
> 
> Mind blanking, Soonyoung opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. He ends up doing this several times and Jihoon, who’s clearly been eavesdropping if the smug smirk on his face is anything to go by, bites down on his lip to keep from laughing, tilting his head back to see Soonyoung’s face.
> 
> “Actually.” Soonyoung licks his lips. “Coups-hyung suggested meeting up with you guys and maybe having Mini-H’s team on a call to think of a plan."
> 
> There’s another pause, and although he can’t see the older alpha, he can already imagine his deadpan. Namjoon has always been strict on plan-making for a mission, says that it’s one of the most essential steps towards victory. No plan means failure in his eyes.
> 
> ”You don’t have a plan.” Sure enough, his tone is completely flat, unimpressed.
> 
> “We don’t have a plan,” Soonyoung confirms, licking his lips.


	28. Enterprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enterprise  
/ˈen(t)ərˌprīz/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a project or undertaking, typically one that is difficult or requires effort.
> 
> 2\. a business or company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future reference:
> 
> Moonwalker - Maseok  
Jaywalk - Jecheon  
Daikon - Daegu  
Navy - Nae-ri  
Bushes - Busan  
Chin - Chilgok
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**MIDI-BUS  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Daegu, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Chilgok-gun

They’re in Daegu when Soonyoung’s phone rings. It cuts through the light chatter like a knife, immediately halting all talk as everyone turns their heads questioningly. It seems like they’re on edge ever since Minkyung called, a repeated practice that’s been enforced to hone in on their listening skills.

Uncurling his arm from where it’s wrapped securely around Jihoon ― earning an annoyed groan from his omega ― Soonyoung reaches for his phone and glances at the caller ID.

_ RM-hyung. _

Frowning, and frankly not wanting to deal with anything more today, he reluctantly answers, “Hello?"

_“Hoshi,” _ Namjoon greets, ever so professional. _”We’ve just left Moonwalker and heading to Jaywalk to check out the fires. Your apartment was wiped clean; we didn’t find anything much. We have police on standby if we need it, but there’s nothing much we can do now. My apologies. Have you talked to your sister?" _

”Safe and sound,” Soonyoung replies, adjusting Jihoon’s head on his chest. “Mini-H and his team are watching over her closely."

_”What’s your status?"_

”We have a suspect in mind. Not too surprising,” says Soonyoung dryly. “We’re heading to a possible place he might be in, ninety-nine percent confident. We think this suspect...or, I think this suspect might be the one starting the fires. If we’re right, we’ll be able to kill two birds with one stone."

Namjoon makes a noise of confusion._"Two birds with one stone_?” 

”My mission, hyung."

There’s a pause. _“You found out who it was?"_

”Yup."

_“What location are you guys thinking?"_

Soonyoung blows a raspberry, reaching up to stroke through Jihoon’s strands in an attempt to keep control. _“__Navy._ Again. He left us a letter, told us to go to the place where it all began, so that’s what we’re suspecting. It makes sense anyway since we’re heading into the general direction of Bushes."

Namjoon clears his throat.  _”What’s your plan?"_

Mind blanking, Soonyoung opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. He ends up doing this several times and Jihoon, who’s clearly been eavesdropping if the smug smirk on his face is anything to go by, bites down on his lip to keep from laughing, tilting his head back to see Soonyoung’s face.

“Actually.” Soonyoung licks his lips. “Coups-hyung suggested meeting up with you guys and maybe having Mini-H’s team on a call to think of a plan."

There’s another pause, and although he can’t see the older alpha, he can already imagine his deadpan. Namjoon has always been strict on plan-making for a mission, says that it’s one of the most essential steps towards victory. No plan means failure in his eyes.

_”You don’t have a plan.”_ Sure enough, his tone is completely flat, unimpressed.

“We don’t have a plan,” Soonyoung confirms, licking his lips. “Or, we do have a plan, just not set in stone."

He can already see Namjoon pinching the bridge of his nose.  _”Alright. Where are you guys now? Bushes, you say? I’ll have Suga track your coordinates." _

”Heading towards Bushes,” Soonyoung corrects. “We’re in _Daikon_ now, _Chin_ region."

There’s a faint murmur of voices in the background, and he assumes Namjoon is holding his phone away from his ear to tell Yoongi. It goes longer than expected, like they’ve ended up fully conversing about their nonexistent plan. It takes a while for a small beep to emit from his phone, and then Namjoon’s voice comes back, more clearly.

_”Alright, we have your coordinates. Suga says we can meet up at his family’s old log cabin and discuss plans there,”_ he relays. _”Woozi should know where it is. We’ll be there by 12 p.m."_

“Sounds good, hyung,” Soonyoung agrees. “Meet you there then."

The call ends with a click, so he pockets his phone and wraps his arm back around Jihoon again, letting out a sigh. He hadn’t noticed how quick his heart had raced but that’s always seemed to be an effect Namjoon had on him. The mafia boss, although a generally calm person, can also have his scary moments.

“Coups-yah,” Jihoon calls lazily. “We’re going to Yoongi-hyung’s family cabin to meet up in Cheongdo, Buya. They’ll be there by noon."

From the driver’s seat, Seungcheol sighs, “If Namjoon-hyung comes out of the bus lecturing, all I’m gonna say to him is it’s your guys’ fault."

―

**YOONGI’S LOG CABIN  
**

** JULY 23, 2019  **

**Location:** Daegu, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Buya-ri

It’s half an hour before noon when they arrive at Yoongi’s old log cabin. It’s a dainty little thing, small and cozy yet it’s clear that nobody’s been in it for a long time if the weeds on the ground is anything to go by. A white fence surrounds the perimeter of it, decorated with vines that wrap around every surface. A dirt path leads to the front porch, with loosely placed stone bricks that act as a walkway.

Soonyoung inhales deeply as soon as his feet make contact with the dirt, taking in the clean, natural air around them. Having lived in the city for years, it’s been a long time since he’s breathed air as clean as this. Even in his hometown, he’s had to inhale the scent of the chicken coop, which, not very nice-smelling.

Stretching his arms above his head, he rolls his head around and sighs in satisfaction when his back pops splendidly. All the physical tension melts away as he hums pleasantly.

Walking past him, Chan makes a face, muttering, “Gross, hyung. Doesn’t that hurt?"

Sticking his tongue out at the youngest, Soonyoung swings an arm around him and ruffles his hair. “Don’t complain,” he chides. “You think I forgot about your free week after this? Maybe I’ll reconsider..."

“Minghao-hyungie will beat you with his nunchucks if you think about it."

Soonyoung groans at the thought. “I’m already gonna get my ass beat by my noona’s taekwondo skills. What more can nunchucks do?"

Chan scoffs but falls quiet as they walk upon the loosely placed stone bricks. “I’m still surprised, you know,” he admits after a moment. “You and Jihoonie-hyung, really...I would’ve never thought you two would end up together. Once we’re done with this mission, I want all the details when we have our free week."

Scoffing, Soonyoung ruffles Chan’s hair. “Who are you? Boo Seungkwan?"

“Well, Seungkwan-hyungie already knows the details."

Deciding not to say anything, Soonyoung smiles as they walk up the stairs of the porch where their team is already lounging around, almost uncaringly as Joshua picks the lock. Spotting Jihoon lying down on the hammock hanging on the side next to what looks to be the outdoor living area, Soonyoung detaches himself from Chan and walks over.

“Sleeping on the job, I see,” he chides playfully, holding the hammock in place and slipping his shoes off as he climbs in, nearly falling over the other side.

Jihoon opens one eye and snorts, moving his legs to create more room. “You think I’ll wake up at seven in the morning and not sleep in the afternoon?"

“I see your point,” Soonyoung sighs as he gets himself comfortable.

Despite how old the house looks, the atmosphere is calm. It’s a complete contrast to what’s been happening for the past week and a half, and he finds himself savoring it as he closes his eyes. As the wind blows gently, he tries to imagine how he’d feel if it weren’t for the mission. If he tries hard enough, he’d probably completely forget about his whereabouts and drift into the abyss.

There’s some sort of shifting by his foot, a grunt, and then arms curl around his waist loosely, a head pressing against his chest with a pleased sigh. 

“I’m gonna nap,” mumbles Jihoon against him. “Wake me when they’re here."

Soonyoung snorts, wrapping his arms around his omega. “Who’s to say I won’t fall asleep too?"

“Well, just make sure you wake up within thirty minutes or Yoongi will beat you up."

That’s...definitely not what Soonyoung wants. “It’s okay, you can protect me."

“Nah, he’ll beat me up too. The difference is I’m not scared of him like you are."

With a gentle pinch to Jihoon’s side as his omega laughs, Soonyoung grumbles, “Rude."

“Just facts, baby."

Heart fluttering at the pet name, Soonyoung nuzzles into Jihoon’s hair, lavender filling his nose like a drug. “I think you need to recheck your facts."

“And I think you need to shut up so we can sleep before they get here."

Rolling his eyes, Soonyoung closes them soon after upon demand. “Fine, but if they ask why we’re sleeping on the job, I’m gonna say how horrible of an influence you are."

―

**YOONGI’S LOG CABIN  
**

** JULY 23, 2019  **

**Location:** Daegu, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Buya-ri

Soonyoung doesn’t really know how long he sleeps but one thing is for sure: he seriously doesn’t want to move. His limbs are so lax and he feels like he’s lying down in a field of lavender. And really, why would he want to move when he has his universe sleeping soundly against his chest and they’re, for once, away from all tragedies and problems? 

So when he wakes up to the sounds of the floorboards of the porch creaking beside him, or the whispers and cackles of his members, he can’t bring himself to open his eyes. He assumes it’s just his team fooling around again while they wait, and brushes his thumb where it’s somehow rested against Jihoon’s temple.

There’s a pause, then...

“You two disgust me."

Before he has time to open his eyes at the gravelly voice, Soonyoung feels the hammock flip over abruptly. With lightning reflexes, his eyes shoot open and a growl rips from his throat, arms tightening around Jihoon protectively. Somehow, in that short time of falling from the hammock to the floorboards, he’d managed to twist his body so Jihoon lands on him instead of the floorboards.

“Very unprofessional of you two to be sleeping on the job,” drawls the voice, “but you passed the test, Kwon."

Blinking, a little dazed from the unwelcome surprise, Soonyoung turns his head and squints, vision clearing. He’s greeted with everyone peering at them amusedly, some biting down on their lips to keep from laughing. It seems like Namjoon’s team had finally arrived, because Yoongi’s unimpressed expression stares at him. Beside him, Jimin shakes his head but smiles nonetheless.

In his arms, Jihoon rouses from his slumber, eyes opening blearily as he raises his head to look at the commotion. He takes one long look at Yoongi, then at everyone else, then groans and lies back down on Soonyoung’s chest.

“Fuck you, hyung."

Yoongi clicks his tongue as he climbs in the hammock. “Watch your mouth, brat."

“What test are we talking about?” croaks Soonyoung, limbs heavily lethargic as he gathers Jihoon in his arms and stands up, leaning up against the wooden post. 

Placing his hands behind his head, Yoongi says, “Protecting that brat so quickly.” He nods his head towards Jihoon. “Lord knows he’s too lazy to do it himself."

“I’ll show you lazy,” growls Jihoon, twisting in Soonyoung’s arms and leaning over, fists ready to  _smacksmacksmack_ at Yoongi, who’s already leaning away and cackling. “Yah, let me down! Jiminie-hyung, how do you put up with this ― this sorry excuse of a Daegu man? Not even Coups-yah or is this annoying, and that’s saying  _a lot_ . Tae-hyung is the only decent Daegu man I’ve met, and Kookie says that isn’t a good thing."

Jimin crosses his arms and shakes his head, then reaches down to flick Yoongi’s forehead reprimandingly. “I don’t know how either. Yoongi-ah, be nice to Jihoonie."

“Hey!” frowns Seungcheol, looking rightfully offended. 

Taehyung turns to Jungkook, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?"

Jungkook grins awkwardly, eyes sending daggers at Jihoon. “Nothing, hyung. You’re the best Daegu man."

“Jihoonie just roasted the lot of you,” Seokjin squawks, clapping his hands like a seal. 

Yoongi scoffs. “Sorry excuse of a Daegu man? That’s rich coming from you, sorry excuse of a Busan man."

Soonyoung wraps his arm around Jihoon’s middle and effectively stops his omega from lashing out, although he’s thoroughly amused by the display of tsundere action. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen the two get along but then again, their personalities are way too similar and clash easily.

“If Soonyoung weren’t here to hold me back, I’d strangle you,” spits Jihoon, seething. 

“You in what army?” drawls Yoongi. “Can you even reach my neck?"

Before Jihoon can bite out another insult, Namjoon intervenes quickly, “Alright, everyone, that’s enough. Sit down, kids. When this mission is over, Jihoon, you can strangle Yoongi-hyung all you want but for now, we need to think of a plan because  someone ― “ He throws a pointed look at Soonyoung, who only smiles sheepishly, “ ― didn’t think of one."

“I said we do have a plan,” defends Soonyoung. “It’s just not set in stone because we can’t agree on anything."

“Alright, let’s call Hongjoong and get his team on the call too, then we can talk,” sighs Namjoon, already pulling out his phone.

Readjusting his grip on Jihoon, Soonyoung sits on top of the fence surrounding the porch, smiling in amusement when he hears Jihoon grumbling to himself. Probably about Yoongi, if the _Daegu disappointment_ that slips from his lips is anything to go by. How cute.

“Yah, be nice,” Soonyoung chides, dropping a kiss on Jihoon’s nape.

“It’s him, not me.” He can’t help but find Jihoon’s complaint adorable.

“Okay, we got Hongjoong on the call,” confirms Namjoon after a few minutes.

_”We’re listening,”_ comes San’s voice from the speaker.

“Alright, what’s the plan, Hosh?” asks Hoseok. “Or at least give us a recap of what happened before you tell us."

Soonyoung straightens up and clears his throat. “We found out Daehyun is holding my family hostage, exception of noona,” he informs. “And he might even be the one starting the fires  and targeting Jihoon. Reason? It might have something to do with me not taking over his company when he demanded." 

“He’d start all this trouble just because you didn’t want to take over?” questions Seokjin. 

Shrugging, Soonyoung continues, “He’s unpredictable. From a code we translated earlier, he made a deal in Nagasaki with Devil Hour and now he owes them something, whether I should’ve taken over the company or something completely different."

“If that’s the case, then we know why he has your family hostage, right?” Jimin asks concernedly. “It’s to lure you in."

“Well, obviously. He targeted Jihoon for that very reason,” Soonyoung sighs. “But I don’t think it’s  just because I didn’t take over his company. It has to be something deeper than that, otherwise, he wouldn’t need my family hostage. If he wants to hurt me, he wouldn’t need them, or Jihoon, in the equation."

_“I think that’s entirely plausible,” _comes Jongho’s voice from the phone. _”I mean, what better way to hurt someone and get them where they want them than to use a loved one, right? Your family has a use for Daehyun, otherwise, he wouldn’t have captured them."_

“Then what’s the point of targeting me if all they want is my family?"

“Well, like you said, he apparently made a deal with Devil Hour,” Namjoon reasons. “Maybe you were somehow part of that deal or something. Maybe a trade-off? He did want you to take over the company but you refused."

“Okay, can we put these details aside for a minute? My head hurts,” Yoongi groans, covering his eyes. “So we have these things to worry about, but what was the reason you guys couldn’t agree on a plan? I mean, just find the bastard and let shit hit the fan. Where does he want you guys anyway? Did you find out?"

“Back in Nae-ri,” answers Soonyoung, rubbing a hand down his face. “And it’s really not as easy as you make it out to be, hyung."

Yoongi sighs. “Alright, what’s the catch then?"

“He wants me to go there alone."

There’s a pause. 

“And your plan is...?” Hoseok presses, looking nervous.

Soonyoung feels Jihoon tense up against him. “If he wants me to go alone, I’ll go alone ― "

“ ― which is already out of the question,” cuts Jihoon, crossing his arms. “We already talked about this, Soonyoung. If you’re going, you’re taking me with you."

Rubbing a hand down his face, Soonyoung sighs. He really doesn’t want to get into another argument but it seems like Jihoon still won’t be swayed easily. He has to appreciate his concern though and although it’s hypocritical, he probably wouldn’t want Jihoon going alone either.

Namjoon interrupts, “Can we at least hear why Soonyoung wants to go alone though? We can hear Jihoon’s side after and come to a collective decision."

Before Jihoon can complain, Soonyoung is quick to speak for himself. “I mean, it’s obvious ― he only wants me. And if we do go with this plan, you can call me stupid for falling for it, but I am not going to put anyone in danger solely because it’s business I feel like I need to take care of. If Daehyun has an issue with me, he can deal with me himself, no one else."

“But isn’t that what our whole motto is about?” Seungkwan asks. “We protect people, not ourselves. The people are our priority, hyung. If we don’t protect them, we don’t live up to our own agenda."

_”Hyung, it’s not like we’re unwilling to help you out,”_ says Wooyoung. _”We know what we’re getting ourselves into once we enrolled, so that’s not to say we don’t know what danger we’re facing. If you’re going there, I think most of us, if not all, are willing to fight with you."_

”Our agenda isn’t what I’m worried about,” Soonyoung bites out, a little annoyed. “It’s the fact that he has the potential to use personal information against me. He didn’t go through all this trouble of starting fires and whatnot just for nothing. He already knows all my weak spots, and I’m not willing to expose my weak spot to him."

_”Is this something personal, hyung?”_ San asks. _”You’re talking like your weak spot isn’t a thing."_

Soonyoung laughs bitterly. “After what happened in Nae-ri two years ago, I think it should be understandable why I feel so strongly about this."

Jihoon rubs a hand down his face. “Can I speak now?"

“Go ahead, Jihoon,” sighs Namjoon, looking unsure himself now.

“As being the said weak spot,” Jihoon says, emphasizing ‘weak spot,’ “I am willing to fight with Soonyoung. Daehyun has something planned, that much is clear, but we don’t know what he’ll do. We don’t exactly know his motives or what he’ll get out of this. I think it’s obvious why I want to go with Soonyoung and even though I was the one who got hurt last group mission, I don’t want the same thing happening to him."

He turns to Soonyoung, eyes fierce. “I don’t care if Daehyun’s business only has to do with you. If I’m involved in this grand scheme of things, he’s making it my business too."

“I think it’s clear the both of you just want to protect each other,” Namjoon says, eyes flickering to Seokjin, “and trust me, I understand. But keep in mind that this isn’t just Daehyun targeting either of you, but Soonyoung’s family as well. Like our motto, we protect the people first. In this case, it’s his family."

“And what if he’s already expecting me to do the opposite of what he says?” questions Soonyoung. “It’s possible."

“Here, why don’t we just ― “ Seokjin takes out a rolled up piece of paper from his backpack and rolls it out on the small coffee table. “Let’s lay out the general idea of our plan, shall we?"

Everyone crowds over the small table the best they can as the eldest points his finger at what looks to be a map of Nae-ri. As far as Soonyoung knows, the building they’d fought in last time had been rebuilt into a complex and the layout could be completely different from what it was before.

“Nae-ri is an open space,” Seokjin says, circling his finger over a large patch of grass. “Let’s say option A is Soonyoung goes in there alone. Obviously, we won’t be able to go with him there unless we want to cause more trouble, so the closest hideout from that open space would be by this small village, maybe a mile from the building.” He points at several small squares representing the village.

“Option B?” asks Jihoon, eyes trained on the map.

“Option B is we all go in there together, find Daehyun, get Soonyoung’s family, and done."

“How the hell did you turn from so elaborate to fucking stupid?” muses Jungkook. 

“Yah, brat ― "

“What hyung means is,” Seungcheol says, rolling his eyes, “Obviously, we go in there as a whole group, maybe split into smaller groups to make the search more faster. We find Daehyun, capture him, find out his connections, get Soonyoung’s family, and send Daehyun to jail. If things go down to shit, we’ll still be within at least half a mile from each other."

“Option C,” Namjoon says pointedly, directing his phone down to the map for Hongjoong’s team, “is that Soonyoung goes in there alone ― "

“That’s already option A,” says Mingyu.

“Hear me out. Option C is that Soonyoung goes in there alone for the first few minutes. Let’s say we have the buses parked near the village.” Namjoon points at an empty space. “Now, obviously, since Soonyoung and Jihoon are mated, we’ll have Jihoon waiting just outside the buses while Soonyoung goes into the building."

“Hyung...” Jihoon frowns.

“I’m not done yet,” Namjoon interjects. “The moment Jihoon feels like Soonyoung is in danger, he runs. Don’t think about it, Jihoon ― just run to the building, even if you have second thoughts. We’ll follow after you. Consequences will be dealt with later."

Hums of approval go around the group, some nodding their heads in agreement.

“Does anyone have a layout of the building?” Seungkwan questions.

Taehyung pulls out a folder from his backpack and opens it. “I have the updated version,” he says, spreading the papers out on the table, then points at one with the layout. “Top is the first floor, middle is second, and bottom is third. There’s pictures for reference."

Soonyoung peers over at the papers and pictures, eyes catching one in particular. It’s a room, similar to the one Daehyun had sent him of his mother.

“This one,” he says, pointing at the picture. “Which floor is this one in?"

“Second,” says Taehyung.

“He’s holding eomma there,” Soonyoung says, eyes memorizing every detail. “I need to get to her first. I don’t know where Joonseo is."

“The only exit is the fire escape,” Taehyung informs, pointing at the side of the building. “Four exits in total, one on the third and second floor, and two on the first."

“Soonyoung, the moment you enter the building, you should go up to the second floor then,” Jeonghan suggests. “If it’s possible not to have Daehyun’s rogues after you, maybe she’ll know where Joonseo is. Or if we’re that lucky, he’ll be in the same room if not the same floor as your eomma."

“The complex is pretty big,” says Jimin. “There’s no telling how many rogues you’re going to face, Soonyoung. If Daehyun’s been building connections for the past few years, chances are, we’ll be facing a lot more than we can handle."

Soonyoung rubs a thumb against his lip thoughtfully. “I know,” he says grimly. “It’s pretty clear he wants me alive so I doubt he’d kill me on the spot. He’ll most likely have his men surrounding the perimeter too, maybe even patrolling the inside. If I get caught, I think the only thing I can do is follow through with his plan."

Jihoon rubs at his eyes, sighing. “Okay, so we’re going with option C, right? Plan if Soonyoung gets caught before we can get to the building?"

Namjoon purses his lips. “If he’s caught, I think the most effective way to complete the mission is to do it stealthily. The last time we tried to do an ambush, it didn’t go so well. It’ll be unexpected, especially if they truly believe Soonyoung will be going alone."

_”What’s our role in this, hyung?”_ Hongjoong’s voice comes.

“We’ll need you for this, especially if he’s been building connections. Meet us there, ring up some allies, and relay the same message. I think there’ll be power in numbers for this one."

_”And Minkyung-noona?"_

Soonyoung speaks up, “Bring her here. She’ll stay back in the vehicle but she’ll be able to help with the medical stuff."

_”Alright."_

“Jihoon’s team, Yunho, and San, you’ll be on surveillance until the time comes,” Namjoon says. “Seungcheol’s team, you’ll accompany Jihoon inside along with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jungkook. Hongjoong, Jongho, Mingi, and Wooyoung, you’ll go in a few minutes after them to take down the remaining rogues inside. The rest of us will take down the rogues on the outside and try to keep them distracted as long as we can."

”So final rundown of the plan,” Seungcheol speaks up. “We’re going with option C. Soonyoung goes in first and Jihoon waits outside the buses. Soonyoung, you’ll go up to the second floor immediately and try not to bring attention to yourself if you can. We’ll be taking down some of the guys while you do so until Jihoon feels like something is wrong. The moment he runs, we follow."

“Any questions?” asks Namjoon.

“I still don’t think Soonyoung should go in alone,” says Jihoon, unable to keep his mouth shut. “I can’t help it. Can’t I at least go with him? Option A was already canceled to begin with, and option B would basically mean ambushing them."

“It would be the wisest decision to let him go alone,” Namjoon says, almost regretfully. “It’ll be too risky to send everyone in at one time where he can possibly lock us in the complex, and it’ll be even riskier for you to go with him when he’s been targeting the both of you this whole time."

Lips curling up slightly, Soonyoung exhales and wraps his arm around Jihoon’s shoulders. “I’ll be fine, Hoonie. If something happens otherwise, you have full bragging rights when this is over."

Jihoon frowns. “Don’t say it like that..."

“Listen,” Yoongi interjects, draping himself over Jimin. “If we decide to screw ourselves over, that’s on us, because we can handle the consequences. Soonyoung-ah is a big boy now. I’m sure he can handle whatever is thrown at him, especially when this was his business to start with. He knows Daehyun the best out of all of us, so let’s just trust him to make the right move for the sake of all of us and the mission."

Lowering his head, Jihoon mutters, “I thought you’d understand."

Yoongi purses his lips, straightening a little. “I do,” he says. “But we are in this business to protect, not to hold back. The time is gonna come whether you like it or not, when Soonyoung has to leave your side even just once. It’s gonna be inevitable in the future too, but we’re already in a life or death situation, Hoon-ah. It’s already as dangerous as it is."

“I think all of us mated here have gotten that feeling at least once,” says Jimin, tone comforting. “And of course, we’re scared. We don’t like it but it’s not something that’s gonna go away. Maybe not all of us have been in your situation ― “ He gestures to Soonyoung and Jihoon, “ ― but we’ll certainly do our best to prevent it from happening."

Soonyoung squeezes Jihoon’s shoulder gently, pulling him to his chest. “We’re going to be okay, kitten."

Jihoon inhales deeply and nods. “We’ll be okay,” he repeats, reaching up to place his hand over Soonyoung’s. “I just...need to keep telling myself that."

Namjoon doesn’t waste time. “Well, if that is all,” he pauses, eyes flickering around the group. “No more questions?"

Nobody moves.

“Alright. We don’t have time to waste. Let’s get down to business."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ― and defeat the Huns.
> 
> Now we’ve made the plan and it’s time to execute it :) Shit’s about to hit the fan. (Also may or may not be some foreshadowing here o3o)
> 
> Also, if you noticed that this is 28/33 chapters long, 33 is just a rough estimate. I could be 1 or 2 chapters off depending on how long some scenes are gonna be, so don’t hold me to it!
> 
> Hmmm, I don’t really have much to talk about today other than I’ve finally gotten around to creating my first song and it low-key actually sounds kinda decent ^^ Now I’m kinda working on a Fallin’ Flower remake in an orchestral version because I heard Meimei Zhu’s version and I was like WOW. Go listen to it, I got chills!
> 
> So online classes. Ha. HAHAA. Have I been attending online sessions? Barely now. Will I do my work? HAH.
> 
> I’ve also been reading some really good tweetfics. I’ve been opened to a whole new world of Soonhoon.
> 
> I don’t have much to talk about so how are you guys holding up? Anything exciting? (cuz it’s not like we’re in quarantine or anything). How’s your sleep schedule (cuz now, I apparently go to sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm :,) )
> 
> Essential workers, thank you for your service and rest well!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Stepping forward, thinking the game is done, Jihoon frowns when Soonyoung takes a step back without missing a beat.
> 
> “The more you think and the more you do, the more riskier this will be,” he says, unfazed. “For every step you take towards me, the risk of me getting hurt will become higher. You are a distraction to me. I won’t be able to save my family if all I think about is your safety."
> 
> And as much as Jihoon knows it’s true, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. He doesn’t want to admit how the heat prickles his eyes, and it’s not because the sun is glaring at him from behind Soonyoung. The thought of not being able to help his alpha when he needs it most breaks him apart.
> 
> “But,” Soonyoung says, smile turning impossibly gentler, “for every step you take back, I’m right there with you, Jihoonie. If you let me do what I need to do, I’ll come to you faster..."
> 
> Jihoon takes a step forward, but Soonyoung doesn’t step back. Instead, his smile becomes wider.
> 
> “...and when the mission is done, I’ll be right here so we can heal together."


	29. Inundate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inundate  
/ˈinənˌdāt/
> 
> verb
> 
> 1\. overwhelm (someone) with things or people to be dealt with
> 
> 2\. flood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**NAE-RI VILLAGE  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

The ride from Daegu to Busan is supposed to be a few hours long, especially with rush hour, but to Jihoon, it feels like only a few minutes. One moment, they were sitting in the bus on their way to finally get this show on the road, the next moment, Seungcheol is already pulling up in the village, driving as slowly as he can to prevent unwanted noises.

He doesn’t feel too good.

Beside him, Soonyoung is quiet, and knowing him, he’s probably trying to recite the plan in his head and memorize the routes inside the building. Where his lips aren’t moving, however, his hand is constantly squeezing and playing with Jihoon’s. An effort to reassure him, the espionage supposes, when Soonyoung fiddles with his ring.

“We’re here,” says Seungcheol quietly, as if sensing the thick tension in the air. 

Jihoon’s hand tightens around Soonyoung’s as he tries to breathe rhythmically. His breathing is becoming irregular, whether it’s from anxiety or panic, he doesn’t know. He just doesn’t like it. Of course, his touch doesn’t escape his alpha’s notice.

“We’ll be okay,” Soonyoung whispers to him. 

Nodding, unable to get rid of the lump in his throat, Jihoon breathes deeply. 

Nobody moves, even when they hear Namjoon’s smaller bus pull up behind them. It’s as though everyone is getting mentally and emotionally prepared for what’s about to happen, and although they’ve been in this situation countless times, it doesn’t get any easier.

There’s stories of mafias everywhere online, how they’re portrayed to be cold, ruthless, merciless bastards, but that’s not the case at all. Everyone sees the blood and sweat, but nobody sees the tears. There’s going to be hell to pay afterwards, in the form of PTSD, but that’s something they’ve learnt they need to deal with if they want to survive.

Soonyoung makes a move beside him, and Jihoon’s hand shoots out to hold him in place. It’s as though every move his alpha makes has him fearing for the next, worried the next would be a wrong move. After the leaps of progress they’ve made in such a short amount of time, he’s afraid everything will go to waste with just a pull of the trigger.

Now Jihoon doesn’t sweat often and doesn’t sweat much when he works out, but in this moment, he can feel how clammy his hands are, sticky with condensation and terribly uncomfortable. He licks his lips and notices how dry his throat is, how his heart leaps up into it and makes it tight with tension. He can’t relax.

“Sit down.” His voice is so thick, tongue heavy where it lies in his mouth. It’s not the _I’m-about-to-cry_ thick, but the _I’m-way-too-nervous-and-need-a-distraction_ kind of thick. “I ― Let me get your gear."

He can see the way Soonyoung purses his lips but Jihoon clambers over him to get into the aisle. He needs a distraction or he won’t be in any shape or form to concentrate. He can feel the anxiety swell in his chest with every second he’s not doing anything, squeezing his lungs and making him a little breathless with every lungful of air he takes. 

His movement is what seems to make everyone snap out of their train of thoughts and pretty soon, everyone is moving to gear up. There’s a whole lot of shuffling and rummaging through bags, and Jihoon, for once, takes comfort in the sound. He lets himself drown in the noise, wanting to silence the thoughts threatening to take over his head.

He doesn’t notice how bad his hands are shaking until he finds his fingers slipping trying to open the compartment above. Wiping his hands on his pants, he takes a moment to breathe, then tries again, and manages to open it successfully.

He can feel Soonyoung’s eyes on him, on how dangerous of a mindset he’s in, but he stays quiet. For once, he wouldn’t mind hearing Soonyoung start blabbering about nonsense again, and would’ve even entertained him with his own thoughts if they weren’t so toxic right now.

_Gun. Ammo. Dagger. Grenade. Earpiece._

Taking the bag down, he opens it to find pistols neatly arranged into their holsters. He finds his vision doubling at the sight. He knows how many pistols are in each bag. Eight. So why does it look like there’s sixteen? Why is there so much? He doesn’t remember having this much.

_Which one...which one...which one..._

He makes a move to grab one at random ― not the best decision ― and finds his hand touching nothing but air. Frowning, he tries again, and misses. 

_What the hell is going on...?_

Blinking rapidly, the sixteen pistols minimize to eight, and he grabs one quickly before it can disappear. Hands still shaking, he loads the ammo into the compartment and adds a silencer to the optic. 

_Distraction, distraction, distraction..._

Grabbing an extra load, he sets the items down and turns around for the dagger case, only to find Chan looking through it. Walking over, he glances at the selection and grabs the sharpest one he sees. Carefully, he pokes the tip of his finger with it and sees a pink mark in its wake.

“Hyung, you okay?” he hears Chan ask.

“Fine,” he says curtly, shifting next to Minghao to glance in the grenade case.

_Gun. Ammo. Dagger. Grenade. Earpiece._

_Grenade, grenade, grenade, _Jihoon repeats in his head mindlessly. _Smoke...flash...crash...M67...M67, M67, M67. No, smoke would be better. Or maybe flash. Smoke...flash...smoke...flash..._

Grabbing the two said grenades, he can feel his hands start sweating again as he takes a moment to just stare down at them. One wrong move and he could set them off, the bus would go _kaboom _and they’d fail their mission. He feels his heart rate escalate at the thought, but he shakes himself out of it.

_No. Distraction, distraction, distraction..._

Setting the grenades carefully down next to the weapons, he grabs two earpieces from the mini table and untangles them, nearly dropping them twice from how badly his fingers are shaking.

_Exhale. In. Out. In. Out._

”Jihoon."

Jihoon nearly jumps when Soonyoung’s voice comes behind him. Turning his head, he sees his alpha stand up and jerk his head towards the bus door. 

“Come. Let’s talk."

Nerves building up, Jihoon nods hesitantly and sets the still-tangled earpieces down. Soonyoung is already out the door by the time he turns around, and he scrambles to follow, pushing past his members to get to him quicker.

By the time he’s managed to wrangle himself out of the crowded bus, Soonyoung is already facing him, about ten feet away. He’s smiling gently, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes twinkling amidst the rolling clouds behind him, and the view is so pretty, Jihoon’s body moves on autopilot, taking several steps towards his alpha.

Only for Soonyoung to take several steps back.

Frowning, not quite understanding, Jihoon takes two steps forward, and watches Soonyoung take two steps back. He’s still smiling, not seeming to get his frustration.

A step forward.

A step back.

A step forward.

A step back.

After a few moments of playing this sort of push-and-pull game, Jihoon asks irritatedly, “Soonyoung, what the hell are you doing?"

Annoyingly so, Soonyoung still smiles as he replies, “I want to test something."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Jihoon bites out, “Now isn’t the time to be playing games. What did you want to talk about?"

Unconsciously, he takes another few steps forward and snaps out of it when Soonyoung takes the same amount of steps back. And it’s so frustrating, because Jihoon feels like he can’t reach him. The air between them is only ten feet apart, but he feels like their miles away from reaching each other.

“Play this game with me first,” says Soonyoung, tilting his head. 

Jihoon is so annoyed, anxiety slowly being forgotten. _Does this idiot want me to run?_

And so he runs.

Only for Soonyoung to run backwards and spread the distance between them.

“What is this?” growls Jihoon, frustrated to the bone. “Just come here so we can talk! I’m not in the mood to play your stupid games. We have a mission to complete ― "

“Careful, Hoonie,” Soonyoung says, clicking his tongue as he takes a step back. 

Jihoon had taken another step forward unconsciously during his rant. He doesn’t know what Soonyoung is telling him to be careful about until his eyes travel down to his feet, where Soonyoung is teetering off the edge of the pavement. There’s a trench behind him and Jihoon can only assume how deep it is.

Swallowing, still unsure of what Soonyoung is trying to do, he says, “Just come here already. If you want to talk, just talk to me."

But Soonyoung remains unmoving, lips still curled up into that stupid smile of his.

_I can’t move forward when he keeps moving back, _Jihoon rationalizes. _And I can’t run either or else he’ll fall..._

Eyes piercing into Soonyoung’s, Jihoon takes a hesitant step towards the side, hoping he’d managed to get some sort of idea of Soonyoung’s plans. Lord knows his alpha is stupid enough to fall into the trench.

Soonyoung steps to the side.

_So...if I step backward...he’ll step forward too._

Again, testing, Jihoon steps backward.

Soonyoung’s smile grows wider as he steps forward.

Backward.

Forward.

Backward.

Forward.

Jihoon stops when they near back to the bus again. He’d gotten ahold of Soonyoung’s game but even though he knows the rules now, he still doesn’t know how to win it, much less play. They’re still standing ten feet apart, no less closer or much more farther than they were before.

Soonyoung stops too, and that’s when he speaks up, “I’m not doing this to waste time. I’m doing this because you need to realize how much this is going to affect you if you’re not in the right mindset."

Stepping forward, thinking the game is done, Jihoon frowns when Soonyoung takes a step back without missing a beat.

“The more you think and the more you do, the more riskier this will be,” he says, unfazed. “For every step you take towards me, the risk of me getting hurt will become higher. You are a distraction to me. I won’t be able to save my family if all I think about is your safety."

And as much as Jihoon knows it’s true, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. He doesn’t want to admit how the heat prickles his eyes, and it’s not because the sun is glaring at him from behind Soonyoung behind the clouds. The thought of not being able to help his alpha when he needs it most breaks him apart.

“But,” Soonyoung says, smile turning impossibly gentler, “for every step you take back, I’m right there with you, Jihoonie. If you let me do what I need to do, I’ll come to you faster..."

Jihoon takes a step forward, but Soonyoung doesn’t step back. Instead, his smile becomes wider.

“...and when the mission is done, I’ll be right here so we can heal together."

Jihoon takes another step, then another, and another, until Soonyoung opens his arms wide. He runs to him, immediately latching onto what he can as he tries to take in everything. Soonyoung’s scent, his touch, the small kiss he drops on his mark, his voice, everything.

“I know we’re still learning to trust each other again,” whispers Soonyoung, tucking him into his chest, “but trust me on this, okay? I promised you a wedding, didn’t I?"

“You fucker.” Jihoon feels his voice shaking as tears prick his eyes. “I hate you so much. You can’t tell me these things when we don’t know what’s going to happen."

Soonyoung shushes him gently, tilting his face up and wiping his tears with his thumbs. “I promised, so trust me."

“How are you not scared?"

“I am,” comes Soonyoung’s reply. “I’m scared of a lot of things. Failing the team, not completing the mission, being a disappointment...” He pauses, knocking his forehead against Jihoon’s. “Not being able to save my family...getting killed ― “ Jihoon’s breath hitches at that, “ ― and losing you. Not being able to fulfill all the promises I’m supposed to. I’m scared of it all."

And Jihoon can hear it coming. “But...?"

Soonyoung smiles at him again. “But me being scared is what fuels me to fight harder. I try my best because I don’t want to fail the team. I want to save my family so everything can go back to normal. I don’t want to get killed because that means hurting you, but I can’t lose you because that would hurt me. And I want to fulfill all my promises to you so we can get that happy ending."

“There’s so much at stake here, Soonyoung. I just got you back...” Jihoon whispers. “What if ― "

“Trust me."

“But ― "

“Trust me."

“Soonyoung ― "

“Jihoon, trust me."

The earnest look in Soonyoung’s eyes makes Jihoon falter. Soonyoung isn't just saying this to reassure him, but he’s teaching him that sometimes, it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to finally give their past the rest it deserves, to forget all the downsides and start anew. It’s okay to be too hopeful for a new beginning. It’s okay; not every outcome ends up in a bad place.

Jihoon inhales shakily, eyes lowering. “Okay."

Soonyoung tilts his chin up again and presses a firm, lingering kiss on his lips. And although Jihoon kisses back with fervor, he has to tell himself that this isn’t the last one. It won’t be. They have years of promises waiting to be fulfilled and dreams waiting to be caught. It won’t be their last one. 

“We’re gonna go back on the bus,” whispers Soonyoung when they part, “and you are going to hand me my gear and wish me luck, got it?"

And although Jihoon is still anxious, determination flows through his veins. He nods eagerly, eliciting a smile from his alpha.

“There’s my fierce kitten,” he croons, and with one last kiss to Jihoon’s forehead, says, “We’ll be okay, Hoonie."

―

**NAE-RI VILLAGE  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

It’s still daylight when it’s time for the send-off, but with how dark the clouds are and how gloomy it makes the atmosphere, it almost seems as though the day should be over. Engines turned off, taillights flickered off, weapons ready and loaded, and adrenaline pumping high in the air, everyone is quiet as they hang around the buses, a silent encouragement wafting through the air.

Their talk earlier makes Jihoon feel a little more confident, but it’s inevitable that he’s still anxious when he sees Soonyoung talking quietly to Minkyung where she’s seated in Hongjoong’s car. He focuses on trying to calm his breathing, mind re-running through the plan and making sure he’s got every step down pat.

“Stop worrying. You’ll get white hairs before you even turn thirty."

A hand places itself on his shoulder and pats awkwardly, and when he turns his head, he scoffs, “You’re one to talk."

Yoongi scowls. “I was trying to be comforting but fuck you too."

Smiling, not quite able to bring himself to laugh, he reaches up and pats Yoongi’s hand. “A+ for effort."

They stay quiet for a moment after that, eyes observing the scenery in front of them. Although Yoongi’s words have comforted him, he finds himself breathing a little easier when he sees _everyone _gathered in one place. To help them fight and protect. To help _Soonyoung _fight and protect for his family, all willingly.

“I meant it when I said I understand,” says Yoongi suddenly, voice low like he doesn’t want anyone to hear. “Your situation with Soonyoung, I mean. It almost happened to Jiminie and I."

Jihoon purses his lips and shoves his hands inside his pockets as he listens. It’s not often does he get to hear his cousin open up about serious topics and even then, Yoongi doesn’t really talk about his relationship with Jimin much. Something about not wanting to put him in danger and from there, Jihoon can understand.

“He was held at gunpoint,” Yoongi continues, voice void of emotion but Jihoon can read him easier than most people. His eyebrows furrow a little, like he’s still angry over the incident. “Fucker didn’t care so long as someone got killed. He was heartbroken over the loss of his mate and wanted to take it out on me."

“He knew...?” Jihoon trails off, a little surprised.

Yoongi smiles bitterly. “Former colleague of mine. His mate gave birth and died during the process. The baby died too. He wanted me to feel the same pain and resorted to drugs and shit. Cliche stuff.” He waves his hand. “After that...Jiminie and I fought a lot."

“Why?"

Yoongi waves his hand towards Soonyoung. “Same reason why you and Soonyoung fought. I wanted him to be safe at all times but he told me he could handle himself. Of course, I never doubted he could until that incident. Fortunately, Hobi managed to kill the bastard before the bastard killed Jimin."

Jihoon stays quiet for a moment, letting the information sink in. It’s eerie how familiar their situations are, but where Yoongi’s mission is already done and over with, Jihoon still needs to face it.

“How did you deal with it?” he asks softly, watching Soonyoung kiss his sister on the forehead. “If you knew there was a possibility hyung could’ve gotten killed...there’s nothing you can do."

“Exactly,” says Yoongi, jaw tightening at the thought. “You can’t really do anything. If I’m being truthful here, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over the fear of losing him, but like Jiminie told you back in the cabin, it’s not something that’s gonna go away. We just need to deal with shit and move on, no matter how hard it is."

And although Jihoon doesn’t like the sound of that, it’s just the painful truth. He’s learned long ago that believing the painful truth is more beneficial than the bittersweet lies.

“I guess,” is what he utters, afraid he’ll continue to dwell on the thought if they continue talking any longer.

“Well, I’m gonna go,” Yoongi hums, ruffling Jihoon’s hair annoyingly. “Maybe talk to Soonyoung one last time to ease your frail heart, hm?"

“Shut up. Says you, oldie."

Yoongi shoves his face as Jihoon laughs. “Whatever, brat,” he clicks his tongue, but the small curl of his lips as he walks away assures Jihoon that he’s satisfied too.

Sighing, rechecking that his gun is properly loaded with ammo for the nth time, he feels an arm wrap around his shoulder and a kiss to his temple. He doesn’t have to look to know who it is as he leans back into the broad chest, eyes instead turned to the rectangle in the distance. Unlike what Seokjin said, the building is a couple good miles away from where they are, five at most.

Lips sealed and bodies savoring each other’s warmth, there’s nothing to be said anymore. They don’t have to say anything when they’ve done all the talking already.

Yet Jihoon still has to make sure.

“Gun?” he asks.

“Loaded,” answers Soonyoung.

“Dagger?"

“In my pocket."

“Grenade?"

“Holster."

“Your vest."

Soonyoung presses another kiss to his temple. “Later."

They let the chatter of their friends fill the silence between them as Soonyoung sways them slowly side to side. His hands rub soothingly at Jihoon’s tummy, an embarrassingly vulnerable action to do in front of their team, but in that moment, Jihoon can’t find it in himself to care. He needs to savor every last bit of Soonyoung before they part.

Unfortunately, their parting comes earlier than desired.

“Alright, everyone,” Namjoon says authoritatively, putting his binoculars down from where he’s been looking through them the whole time. “Let’s get this over with. Everyone into your positions."

Jihoon inhales deeply when he feels Soonyoung unfurl himself from around him to get his vest from the bus. He can feel that familiar anxious heart racing as he pats himself down twice and makes sure he has everything he needs. He can hear the leaves crunching as everyone begins to gather into their positions, the clicks of guns as they’re loaded with ammo.

Namjoon comes up to them with pursed lips just as Soonyoung comes back with his vest properly strapped.

“There’s rogues patrolling the perimeter,” says Namjoon. “We’ll need to take them out first before you go in. For now, just prepare yourself until I give you the signal."

Nodding, Soonyoung replies with an affirmative, “Yes, hyung."

Turning to the team, Namjoon is quick to jump into his role as the mafia boss. “Kwan, DK, 1004, Jisoo, Retriever, and Sanjook, you’re on surveillance. Block the tracers before you hack the cameras. S.Coups, Gyu, Won, Vernon, Suga, Hobi, and Kookie, once Jihoon starts running, follow after him. You’ll accompany him and make sure nothing happens. Mini-H, Apple, Hehe-Mon, and Corgi, you’ll follow after them when I give you the signal."

He turns to their allies. “Shownu, JB, and Suho, I trust that you and your teams will help us watch for incoming rogues."

The three leaders nod affirmatively.

“Okay, everyone,” Namjoon pauses for a moment and looks around. “This is it. Leaders, send your best snipers to the front. We’ll need to take out the rogues around the perimeter before we proceed.” He turns to Soonyoung. “Hoshi, when I give you the signal, go for it. We’ll try guard you the best we can given the amount of rogues and surveillance cameras inside."

Soonyoung nods.

Namjoon turns to Jihoon. “Woozi, we’ll need you to stand in the front. The moment you feel something’s wrong, run. Just in case the cameras can’t catch anything. Don’t think too hard about it."

Nodding, Jihoon takes another deep breath and feels Soonyoung’s hand squeeze his. This is it.

“Is everyone clear?"

“Crystal."

Namjoon nods in approval, then turns around and raises his binoculars again. “Alright, everyone into positions."

―

**NAE-RI VILLAGE  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

It’s been quiet progress so far as the snipers quickly yet carefully take out the rogues in the front. Jihoon tries to concentrate on the words slipping out from Namjoon’s mouth, heart pounding as he waits for the go for Soonyoung. He inhales deeply once more when he feels Soonyoung shift a little beside him, his alpha prepared to take off.

It sets a sick feeling in Jihoon’s stomach, how prepared Soonyoung is to go into battle but then again, it’s a matter of life or death now. They’ve talked all they need to.

“Hoshi,” he says despite himself, not liking the taste of the code name on his tongue. _Soonyoung, _he wants to say, but he can’t. He glances at his alpha, who’s already looking at him questioningly. ”I’m counting on my fiancé to make it out alive to our wedding, you hear me?"

Soonyoung falls silent for a moment, probably stunned at the implication, then smiles, eyes turning into slants. “I love you."

Jihoon squeezes his hand. “I love you too."

Despite knowing it won’t be their last _I love you’s_, their last smiles, or their last _anything_, Jihoon finds his heart calming down at the reassurance. He focuses his attention back on Namjoon, who’s already putting his binoculars down, eyes still trained on the building far ahead. 

After a few more suspenseful moments, Namjoon turns to them, looks at Soonyoung, and nods.

And with one last kiss to Jihoon’s temple and another squeeze to his hand, Soonyoung stands from where he’s crouching, takes his pistol out, and begins sprinting.

_It’s not our last,_ Jihoon thinks, watching him go. _It won’t be our last._

It’s all up to him now, he thinks, watching as Soonyoung’s form becomes a silhouette, then a stick, then a dot, until he disappears into nothing. It’s all up to him to make sure his alpha gets out of here alive and intact. It’s all up to him to finally put their trust to the test as he waits in suspense.

He can feel eyes on him, waiting for him to start running and frankly, he’s prepared. He stands up and cocks his pistol, eyes still trained on the spot where Soonyoung was last seen.

He can feel his heart beating rhythmically in his chest, and another fainter heartbeat behind it beginning to pound erratically. He tries to send some calming tones through their bond, a little spark that dissipates into the air and hopefully reaches Soonyoung. 

From the open bus door, he can hear the surveillance team muttering quietly, whether to each other or whether it’s to guide Soonyoung through traps and rogues. Again, he takes comfort in the quiet chattering, inhaling deeply for the nth time, not only to calm himself down but now that they’ve bonded, to calm Soonyoung down as well.

He can feel how nervous his alpha is but he doesn’t think anything is wrong yet. It’s reasonable to be nervous during the beginning of the mission.

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been waiting until Yunho speaks up through the link that connects their earpieces.

_”He’s sneaking around the perimeter,” _he says, despite being only a couple feet away from the group. After a few seconds, he says, _”Okay, he’s made it in."_

Jihoon breathes in. Out. In. Out.

The nervousness is still there, stable and unwavering. They can get through this.

He thinks he’s doing a pretty good job at staying calm so far, heart rate a little higher than normal but beating at a steady pace. He only hopes Soonyoung can feel him through their bond and use his calmness to his advantage. 

It feels like they’ve been standing on alert for hours, all quiet save for the surveillance team guiding Soonyoung. Speaking of which, their voices seemed to have gotten a little louder than Jihoon last remembers hearing. He can just barely catch the sound of their orders slipping from their lips, but it doesn’t sound too good.

Almost simultaneously, it’s as though his heart rate suddenly begins to increase, and he can feel his hands start to sweat when the surveillance teams’ voices become louder. 

There’s a sudden feeling of a drop in his chest, like something inside him is just..._falling. _Almost immediately after, his fingers start trembling against the pistol he’s holding, knuckles turning white despite not gripping onto the weapon too tightly. There’s a small swelling in his throat, a blockage in his airways.

Jihoon’s mind blanks for a moment, not knowing what’s going on, but when he hears the surveillance team begin shouting, his body moves before he can comprehend the feeling.

He runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we’ll be seeing a lot more group interactions and whatnot :)
> 
> So Fallin’ Flower fanchant...I’m waiting for the time Carats debut ;; Thank you Kwon Hoshi, I’m grateful to have felt this betrayal.  
Speaking of Fallin’ Flower, the orchestral I’m making is a total flop ^^; idk whether to keep working on it or not but we shall see  
(Also on my way to making a second song ^^)  
When SVT made their t-shirts and Soonyoung really be going all tiger mode. I think the members gave up trying to tell him he’s human HAhaha  
But baby Cheol on his t-shirt ;;
> 
> ALSO, I just saw this but Soonyoung posting a pic of Jihoon on WV and captioning it ‘my darling who is blocked by the chair’ MY HEART (even though he posted a pic of himself a captioned it ‘tiger’s claw’ hehe)  
Also Aju Nice Hoshi is back??? pls my heart ;-; WHY DOES SVT HAVE THEIR HAIR SWEPT BACK NOW?? (exception of soonhoon hehe)  
Also stream their Fallin’ Flower performance on May 4, 12am KST hehehe
> 
> Anyone stayed up all night for the GoSe stream? >< I fell asleep. Ironically, I fell asleep when Insomnia started eheheheh
> 
> Also Kim Jong Un rumored to be dead yet his successor is his sister who’s apparently more feared? I feel so bad for NK citizens...
> 
> ALSo, a lot of you have been asking me for my twitter (which is the same as my handle on here), but I don’t really post anything haha. Maybe in my upcoming fics, I’ll post sneak pics and whatnot, idk yet but we’ll see!
> 
> hmmm, next chapter will be quite messy hehe
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Wait, Hoshi,” his eomma interrupts, shaking her head and bringing her shaking hands to rest on his biceps. “Just...wait for a second and listen to me. It’s not just Joonseo in there ― "
> 
> “I know. I heard there was another guy ― "
> 
> “No. Hoshi, your father is here,” she says, an unusual urgency in her eyes. It’s the same look Soonyoung had seen when he and Jihoon were back in Namyangju to visit her, when she didn’t want them to leave her in the care of Daehyun.
> 
> Soonyoung nudges her forward again, hearing the footsteps thud above them. “I know,” he says, not quite understanding. “Once I catch the bastard, I’ll never let him ― "
> 
> “No. Soonyoung,” she pleads, grasping onto his hands now. “Soonyoung, your appa is here. He’s alive."


	30. Venture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Venture  
/ˈven(t)SHər/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a risky or daring journey or undertaking
> 
> 2\. a business enterprise involving considerable risk
> 
> 3\. dare to do something or go somewhere that may be dangerous or unpleasant.
> 
> 4\. dare to do or say something that may be considered audacious (often used as a polite expression of hesitation or apology)
> 
> 5\. expose (something) to the risk of loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy reading! ❤

**NAE-RI VILLAGE  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

The atmosphere is just as gloomy as the sky when Soonyoung manages to make it inside with hushed footsteps and a heart threatening to burst out of his chest. He can feel that constant rising and falling of something inside him, really accentuating the nervousness tingling throughout his body. He has to readjust his grip on his pistol countless times, eyes swiveling back and forth between nooks and crannies and the dead bodies already scattered from earlier. 

Every few seconds, there’s a sudden pulse of some sort of lightness, as though Jihoon is right there by his side to give him the comfort he needs. Although he’s grateful for the reassurances, he has to push all thoughts of Jihoon deep in the back of his mind to prevent himself from worrying. To prevent the sudden urge to go back. He’s here for a reason.

Readjusting his grip on his pistol for the nth time, he takes a deep breath and cringes when the door creaks loudly beneath his fingertips. Mouthing a silent curse to himself, he manages to slip through the crack he’d opened easily. Swiftly, he lunges inside and nearly crashes into some cardboard boxes filled with burnt cigarettes.

He crinkles his nose.  _Pigs._

Shaking his head, he glances up and nearly lets out another curse when he realizes just how big and open the space is inside. From where he’s crouched, he can see the second and third floors, opened with views from banisters. If he doesn’t move quickly, he’ll definitely be exposed and more likely to be caught than exposing himself willingly.

Looking around, he realizes he’s underneath the second floor and quickly moves back, until he’s crouching next to some sort of living area with several chairs and couches. Taking a moment to collect himself, he peers over the couch’s armrest and searches for any moving objects.

”First floor seems clear,” whispers San from his earpiece. ”As far as we can tell, there’s only four cameras. The second and third floors are the ones you’ll need to be cautious of."

”Not taking chances,” responds Soonyoung curtly, quietly. “The place is an open field. I’ll be caught if I’m not careful enough."

“Watch where you step. There’s all sorts of crap littered everywhere. The first floor seems like the reception area, so there’s no rooms to search,” Seungkwan says. ”Second and third floor has all the rooms but we still don’t know where Joonseo is. Remember, eomma is on the second floor and from the looks of it...she’ll be to the left side when you go up the stairs."

“Wow, Daehyun is really an idiot to have surveillance watching eomma from the hall,”  Jeonghan muses.

About to retort, Soonyoung is quick to catch his voice when a door from above slams open, along with some grunting and more voices. Pulling himself back abruptly, he tilts his head to peer up at the banisters, keeping himself ducked behind the couch.

Behind the glass banisters, four men come out of a room, two of them locking arms with a woman and holding her captive while the other two behind them watch over the banisters. Soonyoung ducks more, eyes still trained on the woman struggling out of their hold.

_ Eomma... _

Leaning forward just a little, his ears strain to catch what they’re talking about.

“Can you at least let me go?” grits his mother, voice loud and bouncing against the walls. “Not like I have a chance at escaping anyway!"

“I suggest you shut your mouth,” sneers the man holding her right arm. “You’re lucky you’re the leader’s little bitch or I would’ve blown your head off. Keep moving!"

“I would’ve had my way with you,” cackles the other man. “Lord knows I ain’t getting pussy anytime soon."

Soonyoung clenches his fist tight around his pistol, heart thumping at the insults and disgusting remarks. He can feel his blood boiling at the audacity Daehyun has to hire such filthy rogues underneath him, but he has to stay put. At least for now. He can’t risk ruining the plan just because of his short temper.

Their voices gradually get louder and so do their footsteps, until they’re right above where Soonyoung is crouched. He hears the door above open, a yelp and some cackles.

“Boss wants you in here for the meantime,” a man spits. “Don’t try nothin’ funny now. I’m getting paid to catch your son, after all. We just need’a wait."

He hears his mother growl. “You will not lay your filthy hands on my son."

“Toodle-loo,” croons the same man, and with another cackle, Soonyoung hears the door slam closed. “Great, now we need’a attend to the other two mutts."

Keeping crouched, Soonyoung watches as the four men go up another set of stairs, and he makes a mental note to go to the third floor right after. Picturing the layout again, he remembers Taehyung saying that there’s four exits in total: one each on the second and third floors, and two on the first. 

Glancing around, he spots the other exit on the other side of the complex. 

Pressing a hand to his earpiece, he mutters, “Joonseo is on the third floor."

”Hoshi, did you hear what the guy said?” questions Joshua. ”They need to attend to the other two mutts. Two. We only know Daehyun’s been holding eomma and Joonseo captive. Who’s the other one?"

”Don’t know and don’t care,” Soonyoung replies, getting up from his crouched position and moving cautiously towards the staircase. His head swivels left and right to make sure he hasn’t missed anyone. ”I’ll get the other guy out too if I have to."

”Alright, be careful. There’s some men on the second floor. They’re watching over the banister now, guns out. There’s two of them guarding eomma’s door."

”Roger that."

Stealthily, he sneaks up the stairs and prays will all his might that it doesn’t creak under his weight. When he gets to the top, he crouches down low again and peers around the side of the wall, making sure the rest of his body is hidden behind the stairs.

When he glances to his left, sure enough, there’s a rogue standing firm in the walkway between the banister and the rooms. On the other side, there’s another rogue patrolling back and forth while two more rogues guard the room his mother is in. The door is fully blocked off, save for a small window slit. There’s the lingering scent of peaches that relaxes him instantly, along with another pulse of light from Jihoon.

_ Jihoon... _

Shaking his head to ward thoughts of his mate away, he glances to his right and sees another rogue standing at the end of a hallway, facing the window with his back turned. 

Biting down on his lip, Soonyoung tries to formulate a plan quickly. He doesn’t have any protection whatsoever, what with the glass banisters giving the rogues a perfect view of him. The floor isn’t lined with anything except for potted plants and a few chairs, but there’s no use in hiding behind them when he’s still exposed.

Looks like slow and steady wins the race this time.

Taking a deep breath, he diligently pockets his pistol in his holster and brings out his dagger instead, adjusting his fingers accordingly. Sliding the tip in the handle, he glances at the rogues once more. It seems as though the one patrolling back and forth is making his way over to the one in the walkway. The other two rogues guarding the door are conversing with each other, voices loud enough to become their own distraction and give Soonyoung a little leeway.

_Perfect,_ he thinks. _That means I can get the guy in the hallway._

Going down on his hands and knees, he quietly pads over along the carpeted floor, occasionally checking behind him to make sure the other four rogues are still distracted. It’s a little scary, how it seems like nobody notices him despite the clear view through the glass banisters, but he doesn’t question it. He needs to take the advantage now.

Once he’s made it right into the hallway, he presses himself against the wall and stands up, body finally shielded from sight from the rest of the rogues. Chest up and back straight, he creeps up behind the lone rogue, footsteps light and slow. He holds his breath and brings his scent inwards, not wanting to bring unwanted attention to himself.

Deciding to pocket his dagger, his arms shoot out quickly once he’s right behind the man, one to put him in a tight chokehold and the other to hold his arm back. The rogue lets out a silent gasp, a small wheeze, like he wants to shout for help, but Soonyoung tightens his arm and grits his teeth.

Slowly, after a few seconds pass, the rogue’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he slowly falls limp in Soonyoung’s arms. Quietly, gently, the alpha sets the body down on the ground and proceeds to pat him down in search of any helpful items. 

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Soonyoung silently makes his way back into the open view, only to almost run face to face with another rogue. He almost freezes in shock, heartbeat skyrocketing, but he sees that split second the rogue’s eyes widen, mouth opening to yell. 

With trained, quick reflexes, he pulls the rogue into the hallway by the shirt and slams him into the wall, effectively knocking the breath out of him and taking away his ability to speak, even just for a moment. Swiftly, he brings his dagger out and shoves it into the rogue’s throat, scrunching his face when blood squirts out.

There’s a gurgle as the man’s mouth begins to spill over with blood, but it doesn’t take long for him to fall with a deft thud, much like his other friend.

Soonyoung winces when he hears footsteps coming his way. _Shit, they heard that._

”Yah, Minsoo-yah, what the hell are ya doin’?” complains a nearby voice.

Taking his dagger out and not bothering to wipe the blood off it, Soonyoung switches it for his pistol and is ever so grateful that Jihoon put a silencer on it, but a silencer doesn’t really do much in a location capable of giving a large echo. He’ll need to make this fast.

Breathing in deeply, he pushes himself off the wall and leaps into the open, trained eye and coordinated hand already working on pulling the trigger before he can comprehend. The first rogue goes down easily, while the remaining two curse out loud, hands clumsily whipping out their weapons in surprise. Soonyoung fires at them both and doesn’t wait for their bodies to fall down before he’s making a break for the room his eomma is in.

Above him, he can hear the footsteps of the rogues’ comrades, and curses underneath his breath when he realizes there’s a lock combination on the door.

”Hoshi, make it quick, they’re coming down!” exclaims Yunho.

Peering inside, he can see his eomma staring right at him, mouth dropped in shock and eyes wide. Pointing down, he mouths ‘code’ and prays his eomma has somehow managed to sneak a peek at it.

Quickly, his eomma stands up and runs towards the door, fingers holding up two, then zero, a one, and a two.

2012.

With barely constrained anxiety, Soonyoung rolls the combination and breathes a sigh of relief when it snaps open on the first try. The door opens with a loud creak but he’s not worried anymore; the rogues have already heard it.

“Soon ― Hoshi-yah,” his eomma gasps, looking very much relieved.

Regretfully, Soonyoung doesn’t let her hug him as much as he wants to; they have no time for reunion. Instead, he takes his mother by the wrist and rushes her to the fire escape, opening the door and closing it behind them hurriedly.

“Run,” he tells her, nudging her forward towards the stairs when he hears the surveillance team’s voices get louder in his ear. “I need to go and get Joonseo. The bus is a few miles west from here but all the rogues outside are dead ― "

“Wait, Hoshi,” his eomma interrupts, shaking her head and bringing her shaking hands to rest on his biceps. “Just...wait for a second and listen to me. It’s not just Joonseo in there ― "

“I know. I heard there was another guy ― "

“No. Hoshi, your father is here,” she says, an unusual urgency in her eyes. It’s the same look Soonyoung had seen when he and Jihoon were back in Namyangju to visit her, when she didn’t want them to leave her in the care of Daehyun.

Soonyoung nudges her forward again, hearing the footsteps thud above them. “I know,” he says, not quite understanding. “Once I catch the bastard, I’ll never let him ― "

“No. Soonyoung,” she pleads, grasping onto his hands now. “Soonyoung, your appa is here. He’s alive."

Like that, Soonyoung feels as though all the breath in him has been knocked away, much like he’d done to the rogue earlier. He’d known his appa is alive; his eomma had told him back then that she could still feel their bond, but hearing it now almost sounds unreal. He blanks out for a moment, trying to comprehend, until he hears a click in his ear.

”Hoshi-yah, they’re searching the floors now,” says Seokmin. ”Woozi is already running. He’ll be there soon."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Soonyoung places a hand on hers and kisses it. 

“Run,” he says again. “Don’t look back and don’t worry about me, okay? Just keep running until you see the buses, okay?"

With a confident nod yet wavering eyes, his mother squeezes his hand before turning and fleeing down the stairs. 

Soonyoung barely has time to make sure she doesn’t trip over herself when the door behind him slams open and he’s being shoved against the wall in a split second. His eyes widen in surprise when a man growls in his ear, a burly arm curling around his throat and squeezing harshly. 

“Think ya’ funny?” the man spits with a snarling. 

Holding his breath, Soonyoung leans forward, then throws his head back with all his force. With a yelp, the man’s hold loosens on him and he doesn’t waste any time in slipping his dagger out and shoving it into his side, arm awkwardly bent. The man yells out, just as more of his companions come to his aid.

Bullets suddenly whiz past Soonyoung, gunshots echoing throughout the stairwell and making his ears ring. Reflexively, he makes a grab for his own pistol and makes a run upstairs, shooting blindly at the entrance he’d come from as he takes steps three at a time.

“Don’t let him go up!” yells a rogue. “Someone get the woman! If she escapes, boss’ll have all our heads!"

_Fuck._

Grabbing his smoke grenade, Soonyoung flicks the trigger and drops it down the little gap between the stairs, flinching when a large cloud of smoke begins to fill the crowded space. As he continues running up, he can hear a series of curses and deft thuds and he takes the opportunity to run up the last few stairs to the third floor.

As soon as he closes it behind him, he quickly drags a small table on the side and hooks one of the legs on the handle, effectively blocking the rogues’ entrance and unfortunately, one of his only escapes. Breathing hard from the sudden adrenaline, he turns around and takes the time to reload his gun, ears catching the loudest noise of all.

Silence.

Pressing himself against the wall, he keeps both hands in front of him on his pistol, pointer finger ready to pull the trigger if necessary. He doesn’t have his dagger anymore, having been lodge in a rogue’s side. His only other weapons is his flash grenade and his taekwondo skills but even then, he doesn’t know how useful that will be.

Walking cautiously forward into the dim hall, he keeps his steps as quiet as possible as he begins to near the open view. Behind him, the door handle jiggles insistently and he looks back cautiously just to make sure he hasn’t duped himself. Pressing forward, he crouches down again and peers around the wall.

_What the hell is going on?_ he thinks frustratedly when he sees nobody in the halls like there should be. _Where the hell is this son of a bitch?_

And then he notices a door, open just by a slit but enough to be noticeable. Again, his head swivels left and right, body turning frequently. All of a sudden, a sense of dread overcomes him as he takes step after step. Everything is too quiet to be normal.

Cautiously, he pads forward, hands sweating nervously as he reaches out to grasp on the door handle and open it with a slow creak. Peering inside, his eyes widen.

“Mmmph!"

Joonseo’s beat up figure stares back at him, eyes wide as he shakes his head back and forth upon the sight of Soonyoung. He looks even worse than he did in the picture, both eyes rimmed purple and one nearly swollen shut. He’s got scars littered on his face and blood dripping down his temple. A duct tape secures his mouth shut, and his limbs are wrapped in tight rope that makes the skin around it swell red.

Hurriedly, the alpha tucks his pistol in his holster and makes quick movement of making his way inside, heart pounding furiously in his chest. 

“God damn, what the hell did they do to you?” he whispers, fingers working deftly to untie the ensemble of knots. He hisses when he realizes he should’ve retrieved his dagger back.

Joonseo makes a noise in the back of his throat again, and Soonyoung reaches up to rip the duct tape from his mouth, eliciting a hiss of pain from his younger brother.

“You shouldn’t have come back, hyung,” he grunts as Soonyoung loosens one knot. “Daehyun’s got his men on eomma’s tracks already. The guys that were supposed to be watching after us ― they’re after her now. You shouldn’t have come back; they’re baiting you by using us."

And Soonyoung already knows who ‘us’ is, but he still questions it anyway. “Us?"

“Soonyoung-ah?"

Although he’d been expecting it, he still finds himself freezing at the voice. The voice he’d been missing all these years. 

Turning around, his eyes widen at the sight of someone familiar. He looks as beaten up as Joonseo if not more. One eye completely swollen shut, scabs covering his whole mouth, chest littered with scars and wounds that don’t seem to heal. He’s got dried blood splattered everywhere, as if he’d gone through this before. He’s bound to the bed post, ankle secured with a silver lock and the rest of his limbs tied with the same rope as Joonseo.

“Appa...” whispers Soonyoung, momentarily forgetting what he’s supposed to do.

Joonseo nudges him and mutters a curt, “Later."

Snapping out of his daze, Soonyoung returns to untying the rest of Joonseo’s knots, suddenly finding a reason to motivate himself more. He tries to keep his eyes on the knot, knows he’ll only get distracted again before they even have a chance to escape. Heart in his throat, he tries to calm his shaking fingers.

A loud bang comes from the hallway he’d come from, reminding him just how much time they have left.

With both of his hands now freed, Joonseo bats Soonyoung’s hands away from his ankle, gesturing to their appa. “Go help appa. I can untie this."

Soonyoung doesn’t waste any time in turning around, mindlessly reaching out for the silver lock when his appa grabs his wrist abruptly, shaking his head with a defeated smile.

“Help Joonseo-yah,” he whispers, like he’d already accepted what’ll happen next. “Get him out of here. Just leave me. You’re only gonna waste time. You can’t get me out; Daehyun has the key."

For a moment, Soonyoung gapes at him in disbelief, not sure he’d heard correctly. It’s so heartbreaking, how defeated his appa looks, like he’d lost all hope in his future. It’s like all his optimism and wisdom had been beaten out of him ― literally. He doesn’t look the same.

“Who are you?” he questions through gritted teeth, kneeling down beside the bed and peering up at his appa. “Last I checked, appa would never tell me to give up. He’d slap me upside the head if I even thought about it. He cheered me on, even when I lost a taekwondo match. And even then, he’d treat me to ice cream and tell me there’s a brighter future for me. What happened?"

His fingers start untangling the knots as he continues passionately, “If you think I’m leaving you here to rot, you’re fucking wrong, you hear me? Not all is lost. You ― You have a loving mate to get back home to, a medical daughter wanting to make you proud, a son wanting you to see him grow up, and another son wanting you to see him off the aisle on his wedding day. You can’t ― You can’t give up now, okay? I won’t let you."

“I can’t get back those seven years,” his appa says, voice shaky. “I’ve missed too much ― "

“And so what?” Soonyoung growls, moving onto his appa’s ankle. “We’ll be able to make up those seven years, so that doesn’t mean you should give up. The Kwon Kyungsoon I know would never do that, and I sure as hell won’t allow myself to give up either. Who would I be to let your efforts go to waste like that?"

It’s quiet for a moment as he unties the last of the knot. His heart is pounding from the sudden adrenaline of it all, vision blurry with exhilaration when he feels a gentle touch on his hair.

“You’ve really grown up so well,” his appa whispers.

Soonyoung’s lips curl up as he stands, reaching for his pistol and aiming it at the silver lock. “Don’t move now,” he warns, then pulls the trigger.

The lock snaps off easily, and he wastes no time in helping his appa up, watching Joonseo untie the last of the knot and stand as well. According to the banging now going on frequently down the hall, they don’t have much time left before the door breaks. The only other option now is the staircase.

“Joonseo-yah,” Soonyoung grunts. “Help appa while I guard. We’ll need to take the long way around."

“Shit, they’ve got their backup!"

Ears perking up, Soonyoung hands off his appa to Joonseo and runs out the room, peering over the banister. It’s utter chaos from what he can see. Bullets are flying in the air and bodies are rolling across the floor as rogues begin shooting at the entrance on the first floor.

”Hoshi-yah, backup should’ve arrived by now,” says Yunho. ”Be careful when you go outside."

”Roger,” says Soonyoung, keeping his pistol in front of him as he ushers both his brother and appa out the room. “C’mon. We need to keep going."

They make their way to the other side of the floor slowly, cautiously. Soonyoung stays in the front, looking back every few seconds to keep watch. The yelling becomes louder as they get closer and closer downwards, gunshots firing every second like machine guns.

The stairs are a bit of a challenge for his appa, who winces in pain with every step he takes down. Keeping his pistol out, Soonyoung is quick to wound his appa’s other arm around his shoulder as he and Joonseo make the trek of carrying him down the flights of stairs.

When they manage to make it to the first floor, a gunshot suddenly rings out and Joonseo crumples down abruptly with a cry of pain. “Fuck!"

“Joonseo!” their appa gasps, grabbing ahold of Joonseo’s shoulder.

Soonyoung’s head whips up abruptly, eyes trained on a rogue seemingly ready to fire another shot when suddenly, he falls to the ground with a deft thud, blood spilling from his lips like a waterfall.

“Hoshi-hyung,” Jongho says, hurriedly making his way over to help Joonseo up. “Shit. Suga-hyung and Woozi-hyung are by the entrance. Come on, we gotta go! No time to waste ― the outside is a fucking bloodbath."

“Apple?” questions Soonyoung. “Where’s the others? You’re supposed to be part of the other group."

Jongho wounds Joonseo’s arm around his shoulders. “They got caught up," he explains, cursing when he sees the gunshot on Joonseo’s shin. “It seems like Daehyun already had men on the dial by the time we came over. There’s a lot more of them out there than there should be. All our allies are already helping."

Soonyoung curses under his breath as they start moving towards the entrance. True to Jongho’s word, the outside looks like a fucking dystopia. Impossibly, it seems even more worst than their last Nae-ri mission had been, and he has to swallow all thoughts and worries about another recurring incident that could happen.

“Did you see eomma?” he asks instead.

“We did,” assures Jongho. “She should be running back now as we speak."

Relief fills Soonyoung at that, and he’s pretty sure the other two alphas in his family can agree. He scans the field as they near the entrance, lips pursed. “We won’t be able to get them to the buses, Apple-yah. It’s too far from here. Shit."

Everywhere, it’s a field of murky brown and bright red. He can see their allies already working together to kill off some of the rogues, but it seems like the rogues keep multiplying with every death. He can’t believe how many connections Daehyun had managed to get.

Just then, a familiar _vrrrrrrrrr_ comes from their right, and they all turn their heads to find a car drifting across the field dangerously, unapologetically running over a few rogues and stopping just a few feet in front of them. The window rolls down, and Jeonghan’s face greets them from the driver’s side, with eomma in the passengers, looking deathly worried.

“Get them inside!” yells the omega. “I’ll drive them back!"

Trying to hide how stunned they are ― _of course, Jeonghan with his dramatic entrances_ ― Soonyoung and Jongho both make quick work of bringing both Joonseo and Kyungsoon into the car, pushing them into the backseat. 

Jeonghan tosses Soonyoung another pistol. “Just in case!” he exclaims amidst the loud gunshots ringing in the background.

“Have the medics heal them up,” Soonyoung says, snatching the pistol and checking to make sure it’s loaded. “We still have a job to finish."

Joonseo reaches out with a grunt. “Hyung, be careful."

Smiling, appreciating the rare affectionate moment, Soonyoung gives him a thumbs up and sends Jeonghan a nod of approval. Rolling the window back up, the car releases a loud screech, then speeds away within seconds.

Turning to Soonyoung, Jongho sighs and cocks his pistol, rolling his head around and getting a few satisfactory cracks in as he says, “Let’s kick some asses."

Soonyoung couldn’t agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so a lot of things happened in this chappie and a lot will happen in the last few chapters as well, so just be prepared, hehe. I won’t say anything more .3.  
I might add one or two chapters depending on how long the next two chapters will be, but we’ll see.
> 
> OT13 back again ;-; I can’t wait to see them on the variety show! Also can’t wait for the Fallin’ Flower performance on Monday ;-; I don’t think I’m prepared.
> 
> Also Soonyoung and Jeonghan’s broadcast. Ngl, Soonyoung’s ‘annyeonghaseyo’ song and Jeonghan’s beatboxing was catch af. The whole time, I’ve been trying to listen for spoilers cuz we know how those crackheads are. SVT really be THAT bored lmao but I’m not complaining. More content :>
> 
> I have officially given up on online classes lmao. It’s so hard to keep motivated when I’m not surrounded by a classroom environment. 
> 
> Also, if you’re learning a new language, any tips on how to keep yourself motivated?
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> However, as soon as they got closer and closer to the building, Seokmin had begun to scream at them in their earpieces, saying something about how 'there’s a shit ton of cars coming over!'
> 
> One moment, they were carefully trekking to the building and the next, they’re suddenly surrounded in a seemingly never-ending field of blood and guns. 
> 
> Jihoon has to swallow down his worry for Soonyoung when he feels his adrenaline spike up again. Instead, he does as Yoongi says and watches his back, firing off at every rogue he lays his eyes on. He won’t let himself get hurt, not when Soonyoung already has his family to worry about.
> 
> But there’s one thing that’s bugging him.
> 
> 'If eomma escaped, where the hell is Daehyun?'


	31. Impulsive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impulsive  
/imˈpəlsiv/
> 
> adjective
> 
> 1\. acting or done without forethought
> 
> 2\. acting as an impulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**NAE-RI VILLAGE  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

“Oh my god, watch your back too, you dipshit!"

Jihoon immediately whirls around, pistol raised only to deadpan at Yoongi, who’s already firing off at several rogues who’d somehow managed to sneak up on them. They were watching each other’s backs as of this moment, working in tandem like they used to in previous missions.

When they’d first gotten to the field, it wasn’t as chaotic as it is now. In fact, nobody had been on the field at all except, well, for them. Even more surprising, a familiar woman had come running up to them, eyes wide with worry and hands waving frantically and upon closer look, Jihoon had recognized her instantly as eomma.

“Woozi-yah, is that you?” she’d breathed, seemingly trembling as she held onto Jihoon’s shoulders tightly. “Please. Please help my family. Hoshi...he’s in there now but they’re outnumbered. I believe Daehyun has more men on their way as we speak."

Taking in her words quickly, Jihoon grasps onto her wrists soothingly. “It’s okay, eomma. We’ll help them before anything can happen."

“I can call someone to come pick her up,” Hansol offers, already speaking into his earpiece. “Kwan, send someone from the team to pick up eomma. She should be in the way where we went."

And so with Hansol and Mingyu staying back to protect her if needed, the rest left to do their part of the mission.

However, as soon as they got closer and closer to the building, Seokmin had begun to scream at them in their earpieces, saying something about how there’s a shit ton of cars coming over! 

One moment, they were carefully trekking to the building and the next, they’re suddenly surrounded in a seemingly never-ending field of blood and guns. 

Jihoon has to swallow down his worry for Soonyoung when he feels his adrenaline spike up again. Instead, he does as Yoongi says and watches his back, firing off at every rogue he lays his eyes on. He won’t let himself get hurt, not when Soonyoung already has his family to worry about.

But there’s one thing that’s bugging him.

_ If eomma escaped, where the hell is Daehyun? _

”Woozi!"

Suddenly, he’s being shoved to the ground with the wind knocked out of him. Grunting at the heavier weight on his back, he turns his head a little to find that Hoseok had already lunged himself at a rogue, a knife in his hand and ready to lodge into his throat. 

“Jesus, you idiot.” He hears Yoongi scold on his back. “When I said you were a sorry excuse of a Busan man, I meant it and I didn’t. Come on and get up, be a man. You can act like a little boy once we get the fucking love of your life back or whatever, but now, I’m trying not to get killed here and I’d appreciate if you tried too."

“God damn you, shut up and get the fuck off me,” Jihoon grunts, sighing out when Yoongi’s weight disappears. He braces himself on his hands and stands up, reaching for his pistol that had been knocked out of his hand from the impact. “Let’s go then, since you seem more eager to see Hoshi than I am."

Yoongi clicks his tongue and fires off in several directions. “Puh-lease. He’s your idiot to deal with. I already have mine."

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sprints forward, vision trained on the path ahead of him towards the building. It’s not exactly a straight path, full of rogues coming for blood, but it’s the most convenient for him, and he’d be able to get to the building faster.

He can hear Yoongi running right behind him, keeping him guarded while they make their way through the chaos. There’s a moment where a rogue gets _too_ close for comfort, a blade gripped tightly in his fist and ready to stab when Yoongi body slams into him, fist already flying to knock the man unconscious.

Jihoon wastes no time in aiming for his head, firing once and wincing when the blood splatters on his jeans. 

“Can you be any more reckless?” Yoongi grunts, wiping his hand on his pants. “Nearly blew off my goddamn hand."

With a sigh of exasperation, Jihoon mock bows. “Sorry, my lord."

“A 'thank you' would be appreciated,” Yoongi says, then reaches out to grab Jihoon by his ear and pull him away quickly. “Come on, no time to chit-chat! You can make it up to me later."

“Ow ― Ow, hyung!” hisses Jihoon, annoyed as he shoves his cousin away. He clicks his tongue, getting back on his feet as they both run to the building again. “Fuck you."

“You’d rather be doing that to Hoshi ― "

A loud squealing of tires interrupts Yoongi, rightfully so, and they both turn around to see a car veering in their direction, already running over men with no remorse. Jihoon has a split second to think, _shit,_ before he’s tackling Yoongi to the ground, a few seconds just before the car drives past them.

Jihoon raises his head, watching as the car swerves right in front of the building and makes a stop. Behind the car, he can just faintly make out four figures standing, two of them crippled and the other two helping them in the car.

_Soonyoung,_ he thinks with relief. _He’s okay. He’s okay..._

”Fuck, what the fucking fucking fuck,” Yoongi spits, and it’s only then does Jihoon remember they’re still on the ground. He scrambles off his cousin and pulls him up with a grunt. “What the hell? Who was driving that shit? I’m gonna kill whoever tried that ― "

“Those are our guys, hyung,” Jihoon cuts him off. “You can kill the driver later. Let’s go."

With another mumbled curse and an annoyed sigh, Yoongi follows after Jihoon as they begin running again. They’re still a little ways away from the building, and he’s starting to feel that familiar burn of exertion, but he has to keep pushing through. The battle is far from over.

Eyes trained on Soonyoung, he nearly leaves Yoongi behind when a rogue tackles him back down to the ground. Whipping around after hearing a ferocious growl, he raises his pistol and is about to pull the trigger when another force tackles him back down as well, making his pistol fly a few feet from him from the impact.

With a grunt, he reaches for his dagger only for the rogue to pin his wrists to the ground with a sneer.

“It’s time to put a fucking end to you,” he snarls, eyes narrowed and lips curled back as he puts both of Jihoon’s wrists into one hand while the other reaches into his holster to retrieve a blade.

With all his might, Jihoon brings his knee up and crashes it into the man’s groin, making the hold on his wrists loosen momentarily. With a growl, he twists his body to shove the man off and doesn’t waste time in enjoying his pain as he crawls towards his gun quickly.

Fingers grazing the handle ― _I can almost reach it_ ― he’s suddenly tugged back by the ankle and nearly face-plants on the dirt. His touch slips from the pistol and he curses out loud, twisting around to face the man.

“You fucking bitch!” the rogue growls, blade in his hand and looking ready to kill.

Like lightning, the blade comes down but just moments away from contacting Jihoon’s skin, a loud bang echoes and the rogue’s head goes flying in the opposite direction. Blood splatters everywhere, and Jihoon flinches when some of it lands on his face.

Cringing, he wipes his hand over his face to wipe it off when he hears hurried footsteps in his direction, and he makes a grab for his pistol quickly, remembering he’s still vulnerable in the open. Reaching over and snatching it, he’s quick to cock it and aim it at whoever is headed in his direction.

Only to put it down with a sudden spike in his heart when Soonyoung’s wide eyes stare back at him.

“Holy fuck, are you okay?” Soonyoung breathes, a slight tremor in his voice as his eyes flicker from gray to brown. He helps Jihoon up and does a quick once-over, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you hurt?"

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Jihoon reassures, mind running at the thought of _I could’ve shot him._ ”Where the fuck is Daehyun?"

Soonyoung purses his lips. “I’m not sure.” That’s definitely not the answer Jihoon wants to hear. “We need to find him and put an end to this all. Where’s your group?"

Like that, Jihoon is suddenly reminded of Yoongi and he whirls around quickly, only to relax a little when he sees him already back-to-back with Jungkook, the two of them firing off at rogues every second. 

He turns back to Soonyoung. “They’ll be fine."

Soonyoung gives him an affirmative nod. “I’m going back into the building to check,” he says firmly. “Stay with Suga-hyung ― "

“Um, no. No, I don’t think so,” Jihoon interrupts, shaking his head. “I’m coming with you. I’m not gonna let you go in there alone again. I’m not taking no for an answer. We need to get going!"

He barely gives Soonyoung a chance to respond before he’s sprinting his way into the building, his alpha hot on his heels with an annoyed groan. He can feel the irritation flowing in his veins but Soonyoung will just have to deal with it whether he likes it or not. 

They’re inside before he knows it, and it’s a lot more quieter than the field. It should be comforting, how less chaotic it is inside the building but instead, it only brings a sense of dread to Jihoon. If there’s one thing he’s learned from past missions, it’s that silence is deadly. 

Soonyoung sticks close to him, footsteps a soft pad against the tiled floor. Jihoon tries not to focus on their close contact and how much he just wants to lay in his alpha’s arms and wish for this to be all over. He keeps his gun raised in front of him, moving cautiously across the room as his head swivels left and right to check all the nooks and crannies.

“It just doesn’t make sense to me,” Soonyoung whispers beside him. “If he led us here, he would be here, right? But it’s like he disappeared again instead."

“Unless he has another scheme up his ass,” mutters Jihoon, feeling Soonyoung’s frustration grow inside his chest. “I wouldn’t be surprised, considering how much damage he’s already done."

There’s dead bodies scattered all over the place, evidence that Soonyoung had already been through a ruckus. Jihoon inches his way closer to the staircase when his alpha pulls him back abruptly, startling him and making him think he didn’t hear anything. Turning with a bewildered stare, he tilts his head as a silent _what?_

”You,” says Soonyoung firmly. “Stay behind me."

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon stares at Soonyoung’s figure flatly as his alpha pads up the stairs first. Nonetheless, he decides to let it go when he feels his heart begin to pound again from worry. He can’t lie to himself either; he’s a little scared too, for both himself and Soonyoung.

The stairs creak underneath them, making the both of them freeze in place. Jihoon holds his breath and tries to listen for anything ― voices, footsteps, whatever will give them an indication that someone is still here. But nothing happens. Instead, he watches as Soonyoung peers over the top stair, head turning left and right to scan the floor. 

“I don’t feel good about this,” his alpha mutters, stepping up. “Saving my family was way too easy. He has to have something else planned."

And Jihoon can only agree with him.

The fact that Soonyoung was able to save his family singlehandedly is enough alert on its own. As much as Jihoon didn’t want to admit it, he thought there would have been some sort of trap to lure Soonyoung in which is why he’d been so paranoid about letting him go in the first place. But now, seeing as his family is safe back at the village, it makes his body tingle nervously.

He thinks it’s weird, how all of Daehyun’s men seem to be on the field now, but the man himself is nowhere in sight. Either he’s gone back into hiding or there’s something bigger than that, and with the way Jihoon still feels like there’s eyes on him, he wouldn’t be too surprised if it were the latter option.

He just doesn’t know what to expect.

“It might be possible that he has something else waiting for us,” says Jihoon, and he doesn’t like how the words taste on his tongue. “What if he’s...preparing something else and this is just the start of it? Maybe his plan is to tire us out."

“But what would he gain out of it?” questions Soonyoung as they search the floor together. 

Jihoon gnaws on his bottom lip. “I’m not sure,” he admits. “We already have your family back. I don’t know what else he could want..."

With nothing else to say and frankly, not sure what to say, they both search the last floor together, hearts in their throats and fingers ready to pull the trigger of their pistols if needed. Something isn’t right but at the same time, nothing is happening.

As Soonyoung checks the last room on the third floor, Jihoon raises his fingers to his earpiece and clicks it. “1004? Anything?"

Silence rings through the other line.

Frowning, Jihoon clicks his earpiece again and tries once more. “Woozi to 1004. Woozi to 1004, can you hear me?"

Nothing.

“Kwan? DK? Jisoo? Can anyone hear me? Sanjook? Retriever?"

Nada.

Soonyoung comes out of the room empty-handed, only looking more antsy. His eyebrows furrow upon hearing Jihoon’s voice. “What’s wrong?"

Jihoon shrugs, suddenly feeling clammy. “I think my earpiece died. Can you reach anyone on the surveillance team and ask them if they’ve seen anything?"

As Soonyoung reaches up to his earpiece, Jihoon finds a surveillance camera already staring down at them. For some reason, he fills chills rack down his spine at the sight and although he knows the surveillance team blocked all tracers from other rogue hackers, he can’t help but shake off the feeling that someone else other than the surveillance team can see what they’re doing.

“...is anybody there?” Soonyoung’s voice questions. “Hello? Kwan. Yah. Now isn’t the time to ignore me.” He’s quiet for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head at Jihoon. “Nothing on my end either."

“Let’s go outside and help the rest then,” Jihoon sighs.

He turns around to start making his way back down when all of a sudden, a sharp pain attacks his temple. Behind him, Soonyoung lets out a yelp and nearly stumbles into the banister, gripping his head. With a gasp, Jihoon whirls around with his pistol raised but doesn’t find anything ― or anyone ― in sight. Nothing seems out of the ordinary.

Pocketing his pistol for a moment, Jihoon makes his way over to his alpha and steadies him, ignoring the pain in his head. It’s not his own. Rather, it’s Soonyoung who’s feeling most of it.

“Hoshi, what’s wrong?” he questions worriedly, a little frantic. “Talk to me. What happened?"

Soonyoung lets out a groan, leaning his forehead against Jihoon’s shoulder, and he doesn’t look too worried about being exposed in the moment. “Hello? Can you hear me?"

For a moment, Jihoon is confused until he realizes his alpha is talking to the surveillance team.

Or what should be the surveillance team anyway.

The chills come back to shake him up when he feels Soonyoung stiffen in his hold, head shooting up and eyes staring blankly at him. Jihoon tenses, not sure what’s going on when he hears a voice come from Soonyoung’s earpiece. The voice isn’t Jeonghan. Neither is it Seungkwan, Seokmin, Joshua, San, or Yunho. It’s way more deeper, more gruff, but that’s about all he can make out.

_But...if someone’s answering Soonyoung,_ he thinks anxiously, _what happened to the surveillance team?_

They stand like that for a few minutes, with Soonyoung still staring blankly at Jihoon and Jihoon trying not to get intimidated with how expressionless Soonyoung’s face is. Weirdly, it’s like time had stopped, and they shouldn’t be standing still around for too long, but Soonyoung isn’t budging.

But then Jihoon feels it. It grows from the frustration he’d felt earlier from his alpha, starting small, until the petals of anger begin to bloom from the bud of frustration. It keeps growing, until it grows bigger and bigger, but underneath the flower of fury are leaves of anxiety and thorns of worry. 

“Don’t you dare fucking touch them.” Soonyoung’s voice is low, words cut short, and it nearly startles Jihoon.

And although he knows his alpha isn’t glaring at him specifically, it damn well feels like he’s done something wrong when he sees Soonyoung’s eyes sharpen, pupils turning into slits and orbs flickering from brown to gray. He’s trembling, Jihoon realizes, anger radiating from him in strong waves that almost consumes him.

He hears the voice from Soonyoung’s earpiece again, this time, laughing sinisterly. The laughter sends another rack of chills down Jihoon’s spine, and Soonyoung’s glare on him isn’t helping.

“You sick asshole,” croaks Soonyoung after a moment. “What the fuck do you want, huh? What the hell are you going to gain from this?"

Stabilizing his alpha in his hold, Jihoon leans his head closer to the point where he can hear what Daehyun is saying. Soothingly, he rubs his hands up and down Soonyoung’s shoulders to get him to calm down even in the slightest bit. There’s no doubt anymore that he’s speaking to the devil in disguise.

”...perish. Why don’t you come here so we can talk this out like real men?” purrs Daehyun from the other side. ”I’m not willing to wait too long for you. Your friends here look more than eager to volunteer themselves for death."

”You’re sick,” spits Soonyoung. “If you lay even a single fucking finger on any of them, I ― Daehyun. Hello?” 

Soonyoung curses and straightens himself up, stumbling slightly into the banister. His fists tighten on the railing, knuckles turning white and fingertips red with rage. He’s got his jaw clenched tight and eyebrows narrowed to the point where it makes his brown orbs look black. He’s seething, body trembling and anger upon anger consuming him.

Jihoon doesn’t think he’s seen someone look so scary.

“We need to go,” breathes Soonyoung, a wild look in his eyes. “Daehyun ― he’s got them captured back at the buses. We need to ― We gotta hurry and get him."

Jihoon nearly trips over his own feet when his alpha takes him by the wrist and nearly starts dragging him back to the staircase. Grunting at the tight grip, he struggles to get out of his hold. “Yah, yah! Wait, Hoshi, we still need to ― Can you at least ― Hoshi...KWON HOSHI!"

Soonyoung stops just at the edge of the stairs, nearly causing Jihoon to bump into his back. His alpha whips around and glares at him, hissing a low, “What?"

Swallowing the sudden drained confidence from how intimidating Soonyoung looks, Jihoon speaks, “He won’t be alone there. If he’s expecting us to come, he’ll have his men ready. We can’t take him alone."

“If he wants to talk, we can fucking talk,” Soonyoung growls. “If his business isn’t with anyone else but me, he can take it up with me. I don’t care if he’s got men waiting to obey his sorry ass. He’s messing with the wrong fucking alpha here, and I’ll make him even more sorry he tried me."

“You need to calm your ass down,” Jihoon snaps, more irritated than intimidated. “Your anger is going to get in the way of your goal. If you don’t have a plan, everything can go wrong. We have fucking priorities to put first ― "

“Fuck priorities,” Soonyoung hisses again, in the same voice he had back when they re-bonded. “Are you in or not?"

With one last glare and another low growl, his alpha turns around and sprints down the steps without waiting for an answer.

Jihoon stares at the now empty staircase, feeling even more conflicted than before. Irritation creeps up on every surface of his skin and although he wants to follow after his alpha, he knows it’s important to gather as much backup as they can. There’s no telling how ready Daehyun exactly is for this fight, but he can’t have Soonyoung getting hurt all because he’s being impulsive again.

He almost scoffs at how familiar “impulsive” is in their relationship now. If it weren’t for his anger, he’d probably be feeling bitter now too. He’s hurt, more so at the fact that his alpha had basically given his own life a big ‘fuck you’ rather than Soonyoung being annoyed with him. He knows what’s on the line, yes, but he knows even more will be put at greater risk without a second opinion.

Shaking his head, he sprints after Soonyoung and nearly stops in his tracks when he sees the outside.

It somehow looks even worse than before. The grass is stained with red and brown, even clumps of black. Burnt bullets scatter all over the ground, glinting silver and gold as the clouds begin to get darker and darker. Although there seems to be less rogues now, Jihoon has a sick feeling they’re not all on the battlefield now.

“Gyu! Dino!” he calls out, having caught the two just in time from where they’re sprinting. “Guys, round up as many of our men as you can! We need to go back to the buses! Tell RM as soon as possible!"

Mingyu and Chan nod and starts running back into the battlefield without question, instead yelling out orders as they run past the onslaught of rogues and their own kind. 

Jihoon doesn’t waste anymore time to run after Soonyoung. He internally curses the man when he sees his figure running about half a mile from the field, and pumps his legs faster in the hopes of being able to catch up to his alpha before anything bad happens. 

It feels like he’s running through a never-ending tunnel, and the clouds are really starting to accentuate it. All his eyes are focused on is the running form of Soonyoung while everything else begins to fade into darkness. An endless cycle, it almost seems. It never seems to stop.

Until the rev of an engine snaps the darkness away from the corners of his vision.

A familiar car pulls right up beside him and the driver’s window rolls down just a smidge. If Jihoon remembers correctly, it had been Hongjoong’s team who had pulled up in cars.

“Quick! Get in!” yells a voice from inside, sounding vaguely like Yunho.

Without thinking twice, Jihoon opens the door and hops inside, his worry for Soonyoung stronger than his worry for his own self. It’s almost complete darkness in the car, only dimly lit from the light barely seeping through the windows. It’s only when he closes the door behind him does he realize that something is off.

“Is this the one?” questions Yunho, his voice unusually gruff now that gunshots aren’t ringing in Jihoon’s ears.

“Pretty sure. Looks like it,” cackles the man beside him, and he sounds like San.

Jihoon leans forward, eyebrows furrowing at the odd questions. “Quick, we need to catch up to Hoshi,” he says, peering around the driver’s seat to get a glimpse of the front view. “That idiot is gonna get himself killed."

There’s a pause, and then more cackles come from the two men. 

“You sure he’s the idiot?” asks San, who leans forward in his seat to retrieve something in the front. “Whaddya think, Toxic? Think boss’ll be happy we got his son’s little omega?"

Jihoon freezes, eyes widening as he slowly turns his head to ‘San,’ who’s getting a heavily-scented chloroform cloth from the glove box. The dim light shines on his face to show that he hasn’t been talking to San, but an unfamiliar man with a scar on his eye, the Devil Hour patch showing on the front of his jacket.

_Rogue._

With quick reflexes, Jihoon makes a move for his pistol, only for the rogue to whip around and hurriedly press the cloth to his nose. The man reaches over to press down on his wrist, preventing him from grabbing his pistol successfully. He leans closer to Jihoon with a wicked smile.

“Funny you say that alpha fucker is the idiot when you’re making our work easier for us,” he croons, pressing the cloth insistently against Jihoon’s nostrils. “C’mon, you omega bitch. Just breathe in and I won’t do anything bad to you. That’s boss’ orders.” He pauses, then his smile turns into a sick grin. “I can’t say the same for boss though. He likes to have fun with his little pets sometimes."

Jihoon is starting to struggle holding his breath. His wrist is starting to ache from where it’s being held in a tight grip by the rogue. In an attempt to make his other hand useful, he uses all his might and swings a fist towards the man’s face and successfully manages to sock him right in the cheek.

The chloroform cloth falls from Jihoon’s face but he doesn’t take a chance to breathe. The man is, unfortunately, quick to recover, whipping his head right around and eyes turning into a glare.

“You fucking bitch!” he snarls, arms reaching around Jihoon’s neck and twisting him around to put him in a tight headlock. “You’re going to fucking pay for that!"

“Don’t kill him now,” says the rogue in the driver’s seat, rather calmly amidst the chaos in the backseat. “Wouldn’t want boss killing us instead, huh?"

“Just puttin’ him to sleep,” grunts the rogue head-locking Jihoon. “He could use a good night’s rest, right?"

Jihoon feels his airways start to close, the only source of light, though dim, disappearing from his vision as he claws at the rogue’s arm against his neck. He vaguely wonders if Soonyoung can feel what he’s going through.

“Oh, look. Ain’t that your alpha still runnin’?” asks the rogue in the driver’s seat with amusement. “Too bad he probably won’t have enough time to save anyone else, ain’t it? Or you, for that matter, Woozi."

Jihoon can feel all his limbs begin to shut down, brain going haywire at the thought of not being able to complete their mission; of not being able to help Soonyoung when he needs it the most. All his fears of becoming a failure, of not being able to have his dream wedding with the love of his life, flashes beneath his eyelids.

A single thought, lonely, drifts through his mind as the world begins to close in on him.

_Soonyoung...I’m sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Soonyoung...really landing yourself in terrible situations.  
Just saying, I’m excited for the next chapter :>  
UNFORTUNATELY, I will be taking next Sunday off to focus on my upcoming exams the following week, so that means no update next Sunday :( I’m so so sorry, but to those who have their exams coming up, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you’ll ace it!
> 
> OT13 FINALLY BACK
> 
> So, next GoSe episode with Cheol finally back! >< I can’t wait to see him again (also the fact that he was arm-wrestling Soonyoung in the teaser, haha. We all know how Soonyoung always loses in arm wrestling, but its okay, he’s still babie)
> 
> ALSO can we please talk about Minghao’s fucking amazing contemporary dance? Holy shit, it shot up to #1 on so many platforms, I’m so so so proud of how far he’s become. Ngl, his dance made me so emotional, like, he really is so graceful doing contemporary. He really fits the concept well (and he’s definitely bulked up too wtf)
> 
> And can we also talk about how Jihoon is so fond of Vernon? Like during the FF recording, Vernon was doing so good on his part and the little giggle Jihoon released??? Istg, Jihoon is a Vernon stan (sorry Soonyoung maybe next time ;;)
> 
> ALSO idk if I talked about this last update, but Jun’s cover of Down in Sandbar? His falsetto is literally so pretty and he’s honestly so underrated as a singer because of how unique his voice is. And honestly speaking, I think the performance unit have a lot of unique voices.
> 
> And Dino and Vernon’s danceology?? Honestly, the fact the Vernon is vibing throughout the whole thing and Dino supporting him silently when they look at each other is so cute. And then the way Vernon slid up to the camera at the end was so smooth, what.
> 
> ALSO SOONYOUNG MULLET  
AND THE OH! MY PERFORMANCES CLIP. Omg Soonhoon+Boo with kids?? >~< omg when they started singing it was soo cute. AND THE HARMONIES PLEASE THE KIDS SOUND SO GOOD HARMONIZING. (Soonyoung getting confused over the harmony and Boo scolding him HAHA) + Soonyoung doing Wonwoo’s part. I just imagined Seventeen singing with their future kids and I got way too in my feels :,( Seventeen with kids, they look like such proud dads :,( ><  
AND THE KIDS HAVE SUCH GOOD VOICES WHAT ;;  
And so-and-so swearing in the vlive was so funny lmao. The fact that he actually gained fans for that was hilarious.
> 
> Anyway, I smell a comeback soon and I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself >~<
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Daehyun growls. “I’ve had enough of this,” he spits, then points his gun at two rogues standing beside the car Soonyoung had seen earlier. “You two. Get the hostage. If he isn’t gonna stop with his nonsense, I’m just gonna have to make him stop. He just doesn’t understand why I need to do this."
> 
> With furrowed eyebrows, Soonyoung watches as the two rogues open the doors of the car. Hostage...?
> 
> But when the rogues come back with a familiar figure held in their arms, his eyes widen in shock, and he feels his knees weaken at the sight of Jihoon. His heartbeat skyrockets instantly, all the frustration disappearing into a pool of anxiety that his hands feeling sticky. He suddenly wants to throw up.
> 
> No...
> 
> He can see Daehyun turn back to him from the corner of his eye, a smug smirk on his face. “Surprise."


	32. Apotheosis - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apotheosis  
/əˌpäTHēˈōsəs/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the highest point in the development of something; culmination or climax
> 
> 2\. the elevation of someone to divine status; deification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! And sorry for the late update! ><  
Enjoy reading! ❤

**NAE-RI  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

Thighs burning and lungs aching for air, Soonyoung clambers up the small cliff leading to the buses, body fueled by sheer determination and anger to make Daehyun _pay. _If you ask him, he would tell you he’s tired of feeling the rage repetitively consuming his every being, tired of it taking over his actions and landing him in places he doesn’t want to be in.

Gripping at some rocks lodged in the large mound of dirt, he hoists himself up with a grunt and shakes off the immediate burning sensation on his forearms. He sprints forward again, faltering ever so slightly when he sees a familiar car whiz by. 

“Hey!” he shouts, hoping that miraculously, the window is somehow rolled down. “Over here!"

The car keeps going, however, driving farther and farther until it disappears into the village about two miles ahead. Soonyoung frowns with a huff, finding it unusual how the car passed by him. Surely their men would stop to help, right?

By the time he reaches the perimeter of the village, he’s exhausted to the core but he keeps pushing himself on, afraid that if he’s late for one minute, everything could come to an end. He can’t risk that happening, no matter how tired he is.

Running, Soonyoung directs himself back to the area where the buses are located, and spots unfamiliar cars surrounding their vehicles. He can see rogues with loaded weapons on guard around the cars, and a cluster of them surrounding something right in the middle. He slows down a little, breathing hard and trying to gain the strength to regain his confidence. 

Now that he’s finally here, he still hasn’t thought so far ahead in terms of planning. His initial thought had been to attack straight on, to put an end to things as quickly as possible, but seeing all the rogues now has him a little intimidated. He should’ve listened to Jihoon back at the hotel, but he’d been to in his head and feelings to listen.

Impulsive, that’s what Jihoon would’ve called him now.

_Speaking of which, _he thinks, a little worried as he looks behind him, back at the field. _Where is Jihoon?_

Shaking his thought off — _Jihoonie can take care of himself _— he looks back at the scene in front of him and crouches down as he examines what’s going on.

Upon closer inspection, he realizes the cluster of rogues are surrounding a group in the middle — the surveillance team. Their mouths are all duct taped, hands tied with rope and bodies tied together, back to back. Next to them is another group of people — his family, tied in a similar fashion as the surveillance team. Soonyoung bites down hard on his lip when sees Joonseo’s leg still bleeding profusely, the younger alpha’s head lolling back and forth.

This is a scene he’s all too familiar with — Daehyun is going to make him choose. 

He’s not sure he can make the decision.

“Hoshi is taking quite a while, isn’t he?"

Soonyoung perks up at the voice, eyes narrowing as they zero in on the horrid man he’d called father. Daehyun is pacing around the two groups, looking rather calm and infuriating Soonyoung to the core. He has that disgusting smirk on his face, smug and just waiting for his time to shine. It’s atrocious.

Daehyun hums as he stops right in front of Minyoung. Leaning down, he cups her face with a grimy hand and hardly tilts her head up. Soonyoung can feel the anger swirling inside of him again but he stays put, waiting to see if he’ll get valuable information on Daehyun’s intentions.

“A shame, really,” chuckles Daehyun as he turns Minyoung’s face to the side a little. “We could’ve had a wonderful future together, Minyoung. Leave these underserving brats behind."

Soonyoung is proud when he sees his eomma remain firm in her facial expressions. “Why are you doing this?” she asks steadily, eyes sharp and piercing. “What do you gain out of this, Song Daehyun?"

Daehyun’s grin widens. “Wouldn’t you like to know, my darling?” he laughs, then harshly pushes Minyoung’s face away and circles the group again. “Story time doesn’t start until all the kids are here. I’m sure Hoshi would love to listen to my story, don’t you think so?"

Soonyoung grits his teeth and stands up, deciding to make his presence known as he walks towards the group.

“Tell me your story then, you sick bastard,” he growls out, alerting the rogues closest to him.

They raise their guns and point the nozzles at him, all of them baring their teeth with piercing eyes. Soonyoung doesn’t pay them any attention, eyes trained on the man who’s smirking again, satisfied.

“Guns down,” Daehyun commands, and the rogues hesitantly listen. “He won’t do anything. Not when I have his people in my hold."

Soonyoung growls again. “You’re sick."

Daehyun snorts. “I’ve heard that plenty of times today,” he waves off, then begins walking towards Soonyoung with a wicked smile. “Are you ready to hear my story, son?"

“I’m not your son,” spits Soonyoung, eyes narrowed.

Daehyun ignores him. “It all started seven years ago,” he begins, like he’s the narrator of a story. “Back in 2012. All the headlines were screaming it, all the news stations and outlets...” He turns to look at Kyungsoon with a sneer, “that Kwon Kyungsoon was dead. Or supposed to be, at least. The only reason I didn’t kill him was ‘cause that would mean making Minyoung weak enough that she wouldn’t be able to bond again. This time, to me.”

Soonyoung feels himself tense up at the reminder, body on full alert as Daehyun turns back to him.

“I lost my mate in high school. I was heartbroken, devastated! She died in a car accident, but then...your mother,” he says with a creepy smile, "she came along and we met during college. I had eyes on her ever since then. She reminded me so much of — “ he chokes, “of my Jung Soo. I was supposed to be her mate. I was supposed to be the one taking her on dates and giving her kisses — “ Soonyoung almost vomits at that, “ — but then...then Kwon Kyungsoon fucking stole her away from me! She was supposed to be mine! We were supposed to bond and have pups together, but _no _— Kyungsoon took her away from me before I even had a chance!"

_All this, _thinks Soonyoung, almost deadpanning, _because he was in love?_

”You see, Soonyoungie,” Daehyun continues, coming closer and closer to the young alpha. “Your appa and I have always been sworn rivals, because of our companies. I didn’t hate him at first, not until he took Minyoung away from me. And then I hated him ever more when I found out he was the one responsible for my Jung Soo’s death,” he cackles. "And, okay, maybe I did put myself in a bad place once I started all the typical drugs and business deals with these guys here — “ He gestures around to the rogues, Devil Hour, “ — but I wanted Minyoung back. She was mine as much as my Jung Soo, and I was gonna make sure of that."

Soonyoung listens intently, trying to piece together every single bit of information thrown at him. “Appa was responsible...?"

“It was an accident,” Kyungsoon says with a pleading tone. “I didn’t even — "

“Shut up!” Daehyun screams, whirling around to face him. “You don’t know the shit I’ve been through dealing with her death! You don’t get to talk!"

He turns back to Soonyoung with a calm smile. “Anyway, right before I took over my father’s company, I began searching for deals that would help me get Minyoung back,” says Daehyun, now circling around Soonyoung and using hand gestures. “At first, it wasn’t as severe. I had friends from gangs that would offer to break Minyoung and Kyungsoon up in return for something else. Of course, I didn’t have that something else, so I had to keep looking."

The look in his eyes are slowly starting to become wild. “And then — as I kept looking, the deals and the offers began to get higher and higher. It started from offering to break the two up to getting Kyungsoon killed, and I thought it was too much, but then — “ he cackles, “ — then I thought, ‘Well, if Kyungsoon dies, then that would mean I would get Minyoung all to myself."

Soonyoung feels a sense of dread when Daehyun whips his head around to stare him straight in the eye, the same wild look clear on his face. It’s as though he’s still desperate for something else — for something _more. _

“So I agreed,” he laughs, throwing his head back. “I agreed! Can you believe that?"

“Pretty fucking hard to believe,” says Soonyoung flatly.

Daehyun ignores him again. “And so I accepted the deal, and these guys helped me work everything out.” He gestures to the rogues again. “And so when Kyungsoon was out alone, we captured him and took him in our hold. The plan wouldn’t take effect until Minyoung called for a police report, and she did! Now, everything was going according to plan, right?” He laughs again, then growls, “Wrong!"

Soonyoung takes a step back when the older alpha stomps over to him and fists his shirt. “Devil Hour needed something in return,” he spits. “And you know what the price was? Huh? Do you?"

“Obviously not,” mutters Soonyoung, leaning away.

Daehyun shoves him harshly, making him stumble. “They needed you to somehow work for them!” he exclaims incredulously, waving his hands in the air. “because of all your shit with Devil Hour, they wanted some way to get back at you without you realizing it, and so they told me to somehow convince you to turn sides."

Soonyoung’s eyes widen in realization, mouth dropping open. “Wait...so that’s why...you were asking me to work under your company?"

Daehyun cackles again, loud and unnerving. “Yes, yes!” he crows, clapping his hands. “This dumb mutt finally gets it! I thought convincing you would be easier, but you’re the most stubborn motherfucker I’ve ever met. You’re exactly like your appa, you know?"

Growling, Soonyoung wills himself to stay put as Daehyun continues his story.

“So as soon as the plan went into effect and Minyoung called the police, I had to wait and give her time to ‘heal’ — “ He rolls his eyes at the word, “so I could woo her later. And I did, and we got married!” He laughs again. “And everything was fine and dandy until I remembered that I still needed to owe these fuckers — “ He gestures to the rogues again, “ — their payment."

A rogue growls beside him. “Watch it."

Daehyun ignores him. “So while the plan was finally almost complete, I still had to find some way to convince you to take over the company, but it didn’t fucking work! Now we’re here because it’s all your fucking fault you didn’t agree!” He stomps his foot childishly. “If you’d just agreed, this wouldn’t have to happen!"

Soonyoung furrows his eyebrows. There’s still some pieces left to the puzzle. “Then what was the point of targeting Woozi?” he questions. “It wasn’t his fucking fault your scheme didn’t work."

“I wanted you to feel my pain of losing my Jung Soo,” says Daehyun wickedly. “I wanted you to be heartbroken and depressed. I wanted someone to empathize with me and feel the same pain I felt. And so when you told your mother and I that you had mated, I thought the plan couldn’t get anymore perfect!"

Soonyoung feels cold, anger dissipating into dread as Daehyun circles around him again.

“And it worked.” Daehyun pauses. “To some extent at least. I wanted your bond to break, but you both are too ‘in love’ — “ He drags the word out mockingly, “to do it. I knew I should’ve pushed harder when I told you to take over my company, but then Minyoung told me to quit it, so who am I make my Jung Soo mad?” He pauses again and shakes his head. “I mean Minyoung."

This time, Soonyoung ignores him. “Then what the hell was the Nagasaki deal?"

“Oh, that?” Daehyun tilts his head. “I was trying to get some allies back in Japan, but they weren’t fond of my ideas. At the time, Devil Hour was there and we started a foundation for our plan. At first, we tried hiding the fact we were working together because, come on, the company owner working with a deadbeat gang? Can’t have them tarnishing my reputation."

The same rogue from earlier snarls. “Watch it, Daehyun. You’re still under our control as much as you are under ours."

“Under the radar?” exclaims Jeonghan from where he’s seated. “Are you stupid? How is releasing info to the news outlets staying ‘under the radar?’”

Daehyun waves him off. “Whatever. Point is, we needed to have people thinking Devil Hour was gonna start doing good deeds in order to stay under the radar from the police."

Soonyoung pieces together the last of the puzzle and can’t help but gape. Everything about Daehyun’s intentions and the mission had ended up being completely pointless after all. To think that the older alpha had some grand explanation when all he was craving for was to be loved again.

“You did all of this,” he starts, just to clarify, “because you were in love?"

Daehyun scowls at him, cheeks red and eyes set aflame. “Don’t say it like that so easily,” he snaps. “All of this wasn’t just derived from my idiocy. There is some goal to it."

“What goal?!” Soonyoung asks exasperatedly, throwing his arms out in disbelief. “Tell me, Daehyun, what exactly are you gonna gain from this? Huh?"

“Revenge,” sneers Daehyun. “Because that stupid appa of yours killed my Jung Soo! We would’ve gotten married by now, have pups like you, grow old together. Now I can’t do that with my Jung Soo! Minyoung will have to do."

Soonyoung can feel the frustration creeping up on him. It makes sense in some weird way, that Daehyun wants to seek revenge yet at the same time, his reasoning is completely irrational. 

“It was an accident,” mutters his appa from where he’s sitting on the ground.

Like lightning, Daehyun whips his gun out and points it at the other alpha. Beside him, Minyoung snarls in warning, leaning in front of Kyungsoon to shield him the best she can. Joonseo and Minkyung let out similar growls, teeth bared in retaliation, and Soonyoung makes a grab for his own pistol, only for the rogue in front of him to point his gun at him.

“Back off,” he warns with a growl.

Daehyun clicks his tongue, turning his head back to Soonyoung. “I don’t care if it was an accident, stupid mutt! Accident or not, he still killed my Jung Soo. He has to pay for what he has done — "

Soonyoung hears dozens upon dozens of footsteps crunch leaves behind him, and a large comforting aura warming his back. If the rogues raising their guns are anything to go by, their backup had just arrived, catching them in a bad place and a slightly awkward atmosphere. 

“Tell your men to put their guns down, Hoshi,” spits Daehyun, and Soonyoung’s code name slides off his tongue like slime. It’s disgusting. “This is my win."

Soonyoung growls, and knows he has to hit it where it hurts most. “Jung Soo wouldn’t like what you’ve become. A complete monster. A fucking idiot. You wouldn’t be the Song Daehyun she loved. If she were here, she’d probably tell you the same exact thing — "

Daehyun snarls, pointing the gun at Soonyoung now. “I suggest you watch your mouth, you mutt."

Soonyoung hears the clicks of guns behind them, his side all ready and prepared to shoot if needed. He can feel the tension in the air beginning to thicken, the next events dependent on his actions.

“You know I’m right,” he challenges, watching Daehyun’s eyes flare with anger. “You can hear her voice right now, can’t you? That she’s disappointed in what you are now. If she were alive, she’d probably be scared of you."

“Hoshi,” Namjoon warns to his right.

“I said shut up!” Daehyun exclaims, taking a step closer. “My Jung Soo can never be afraid of me. She’s — She would be proud of me — "

“Proud of what?” squawks Soonyoung, gesturing all around. “That you’ve hurt hundreds of people? That you’ve destroyed probably acres of land and threatened to kill people? And all for what? Because you can’t fucking give her the rest she deserves? That you can’t let her go and want to replace her?"

Quickly, Daehyun points the gun towards the ground and shoots, the bullet whizzing into the ground just a few inches from Soonyoung’s feet. 

It’s quiet for a few minutes, all of them stunned at the sudden action. The tension increases tenfold, so thick in the air you can probably slice a knife through it.

“I’m not replacing her!” he booms, mouth frothing with anger. “I can never replace my Jung Soo!"

Soonyoung rubs at his face. “Then you don’t need my mother! Give Jung Soo the rest she deserves. She doesn’t need to be dealing with all of this shit, especially your actions!"

Daehyun growls. “I’ve had enough of this,” he spits, then points his gun at two rogues standing beside the car Soonyoung had seen earlier. “You two. Get the hostage. If he isn’t gonna stop with his nonsense, I’m just gonna have to make him stop. He just doesn’t understand why I need to do this."

With furrowed eyebrows, Soonyoung watches as the two rogues open the doors of the car. _Hostage...?_

But when the rogues come back with a familiar figure held in their arms, his eyes widen in shock, and he feels his knees weaken at the sight of Jihoon. His heartbeat skyrockets instantly, all the frustration disappearing into a pool of anxiety that his hands feeling sticky. He suddenly wants to throw up.

_No..._

He can see Daehyun turn back to him from the corner of his eye, a smug smirk on his face. “Surprise."

But Soonyoung’s gaze is only trained on his limp omega, completely wiped out by the cheap tactic of chloroform. He wants to go to him, take him in his arms and run away from everything, but his feet are frozen in place, and he doesn’t even realize he’s holding his breath until he’s starting to feel lightheaded. 

“Jihoon...” he croaks, suddenly weak. “You...You bastard...How the fuck did you...?"

Daehyun clicks his tongue. “Now I can’t tell you that now, can I?” He starts walking towards the three, swishing his hand left and right and indicating for the rogues to release the omega. “It would be a shame, wouldn’t it? If something happened to him..."

“Don’t you dare fucking touch him,” Soonyoung growls, but his voice cracks as he watches Daehyun get closer and closer to his mate. He takes a step forward.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” says Daehyun, just as the rogues around begin cocking their guns. “One more step forward and this little bitch of yours is dead. Stay right where you are. You’ll feel the pain I felt, and you’ll know what it’s like to finally hurt like I did."

Soonyoung can only watch helplessly as Jihoon collapses onto the ground when the rogues release him. He clenches his fists as Daehyun kneels beside him and drags his stubby fingers over the omega’s cheek, the latter completely unaware of what’s happening to him. 

Soonyoung wants to vomit. His own cheek tingles as Daehyun continues touching his mate, a sick smile on his face like he’s _enjoying _it. 

“A pretty little thing,” croons Daehyun, fingers trailing down until it’s hemming Jihoon’s shirt. 

“Daehyun, don’t.” Soonyoung’s voice shakes, enraged as the older man begins raising the shirt up, just enough to reveal the scar on Jihoon’s abdomen. _“Daehyun."_

Daehyun finally turns his head towards him, his smile growing wider as his fingers trace over the scar delicately. His other hand reaches into his belt to pull out a case, and when he opens the lid, it reveals a blade, sharp and glinting dangerously.

Soonyoung’s heart drops.

“You fucking bastard — “ Yoongi’s voice curses behind him.

“Suga, don’t,” commands Namjoon. 

“That’s right, mutt,” Daehyun cackles amidst Yoongi and Soonyoung’s growling. “Listen to your leader.” He runs the tip of the blade lightly over Jihoon’s scar, not enough to dig into his skin but enough to make Soonyoung’s own abdomen tingle. “Keep talking, dumb mutts. I’ll impale this thing into his stomach."

Soonyoung is starting to feel lightheaded again, eyes watching like a hawk at the connection between the blade and Jihoon’s skin. He can feel the tip of the blade on his own flesh, tickling him ever so slightly. Oddly enough, it _burns. _

“If I’d known just how weak you are for this boy, I would’ve done something sooner,” crows Daehyun. “Why don’t we wake sleeping beauty up and make him realize _just _how much you love him, hmm?"

With that, Soonyoung watches as Daehyun reaches up and tugs harshly at Jihoon’s hair, and he can feel his own scalp burning at the sudden motion. A whine erupts from his omega’s throat, eyes fluttering open blearily as he slowly begins to regain consciousness. 

Jihoon’s head rolls around, first to look at Soonyoung, then at his surrounding environment, and then to the man who looks to be attempting to cut him up into little pieces. His eyes widen, a grunt slipping past the cloth around his lips as he wiggles on the dirt, which proves to be a pathetic attempt when a sudden piercing pain enters his abdomen. Another whine slips past his lips as he freezes in place.

“STOP!” Soonyoung screams as he watches Daehyun pierce the tip of the blade into Jihoon’s scar. “Stop — don’t...please. Don’t hurt him."

Daehyun’s laughter booms throughout the air as the man wipes a fake tear away from his eye. “Oh man, you’ve got it bad! Maybe if I just twist it...?"

A whimper from Jihoon and another piercing pain on his own abdomen has Soonyoung falling onto his knees as he leans forward, wanting to grab Jihoon into his arms and protect him at all costs. He feels like he can’t breathe as he watches Jihoon’s face contort into that of pain, eyes squeezed shut and legs scraping against the dirt.

“Daehyun, stop, please,” Soonyoung begs. “Let him go, please. Your business is with me, isn’t it? Jihoon has nothing to do with this. Leave him alone."

“Why leave him alone when I have you at my mercy?” asks Daehyun sinisterly, now running the tip of the blade back and forth on Jihoon’s scar again. “I should’ve done this myself long ago."

And although Soonyoung doesn’t want to give in, he has to do_ something._

Jihoon’s head shoots towards Soonyoung’s, eyes wide and pleading as he shakes his head, seemingly catching onto the contemplative look on the alpha’s face. He’s not pleading to be helped out of Daehyun’s hold, but rather, he’s pleading for Soonyoung not to do anything. He’s anxious, but not for the same reason Soonyoung is.

And when Daehyun drags the blade back onto the already bleeding wound on Jihoon’s scar, he can’t listen to Jihoon.

“Let him go,” he says weakly, feeling a turbulence of negative emotions whirl in his chest. “Please...I’ll do anything."

Like that, Daehyun perks up and peers at him from the side of his eye, like those scenes in anime when something is about to go down. Soonyoung can only continue to stare at him, eyes pleading and heart in his throat when he sees the blade still pressed insistently onto Jihoon’s wound.

“Anything?” Daehyun purrs. 

Flashes of Jihoon getting stabbed again runs through Soonyoung’s mind, reminiscing the possibility of what could happen next if he makes the wrong move. 

“Give him to me,” he whispers, voice shaking. “Give him back to me and — and I’ll...I’ll do what you want."

Jihoon is shaking his head rapidly, a furious yet anxious aura emitting from his body as his eyes begin to gloss over. Soonyoung leans forward again, wanting nothing more than to grab his mate in his arms.

It takes a long time, what feels like hours, before Daehyun grins widely. He looks back at Jihoon and clicks his tongue, saying, “What a shame,” then bends down and reaches round Jihoon to grab at the rope tying his hands together. 

Soonyoung can feel the faint ghost of the rope tightening around his own wrists, and watches as Jihoon glares at Daehyun as he’s practically manhandled to stand up. He can see the way his mate’s legs tremble, probably from the adrenaline of it all, and the way he tries his best to lean away from Daehyun’s touch.

Daehyun only raises an eyebrow and shoves him towards Soonyoung. “What are you waiting for? Go on!"

Soonyoung catches Jihoon in the safety of his arms when his mate stumbles forward from the harsh shove. He almost exhales in relief when he feels Jihoon nose at his neck, looking for comfort instinctively. Keeping his arms around his omega, he unties the chloroform-scented cloth around his mouth and cradles the back of his head as close to his scent gland as possible.

“You’re an idiot,” Jihoon whispers raggedly as Soonyoung works on untying the rope on his wrists. “Why did you do that? You should’ve...you should’ve — god, you’re an idiot."

Soonyoung inhales sharply but doesn’t say anything as the last of the rope finally loosens. 

“You’ve had your fun, Daehyun,” he speaks, voice a little more stable now that Jihoon is close to him. “What do you want?"

Daehyun gives him another wicked smile. “I want you to choose,” he says simply.

The dreaded feeling comes back to Soonyoung as he croaks, “Choose?"

“I want you to choose,” Daehyun repeats, replacing his blade for his pistol. He points it towards Kyungsoon. “Choose your family — “ Towards Jeonghan. “Your friends — “ He aims it towards Jihoon. “Or your mate."

Soonyoung instinctively tucks Jihoon into him more, his heartbeat loud in his ears. In his hold, Jihoon stiffens, like he’d realized something, and that’s when Soonyoung remembers his own words clearly.

_“If eomma and Joonseo were held hostage and you were held hostage, I’d ask Daehyun to take me instead."_

Jihoon’s words...

_“I want you to save them first no matter what. Take me out of the equation. I don’t exist as your mate, just an acquaintance."_

”Hoshi, no,” Jihoon whispers, hands curling into fists on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “Hoshi. _No."_

“You can’t ask me that,” Soonyoung says angrily, although he’s more scared than anything. “You can’t ask me to choose."

When he looks around, he feels the indecisiveness grow inside him. His eomma is crying, tears streaming down her face as she shakes her head repeatedly, like she can’t believe what’s happening. His appa has his head hung low, the fight in him dissipating. His siblings look more willing to fight than anything, but Soonyoung can see the worry in their eyes.

Jeonghan is already shaking his head at Soonyoung, mouthing something he can’t understand. Seokmin and Seungkwan look like they’re about to burst into tears. Joshua is seemingly scanning around him, like there’s even the tiniest bit of hope left. Yunho and San look more guilty than anything, heads turned weakly to look behind them at the scene.

And Jihoon.

Soonyoung can feel the way his heart is pounding, with another, more fainter heart pounding twice as hard inside him. The worry lumps in his body, anxiety consuming him like a bodysuit. Jihoon is trembling in his arms, from anger or fear, he doesn’t know. He just knows they’re both thinking about the same thing.

“You can’t choose?” Daehyun cackles, cocking his pistol again. “Then shall we make this easier for you? Who shall we take off first from the hit-list?"

“Hoshi. Don’t,” grits Jihoon.

Soonyoung can only channel all the guilt he’s feeling through their bond, and although it won’t be enough to compensate for what he’s about to do next, he’ll at least have the comfort of knowing that they’ve talked about this prior. 

Jihoon’s grip tightens considerably on his shoulder. “Hoshi — "

“Take me instead,” Soonyoung cuts him off, raising his head and staring into Daehyun’s eyes challengingly. “If what you want is to tear me apart, take me and let them go. Your deal with Devil Hour isn’t over until you have me, right? So take me."

There’s a pause.

“Soonyoung...” his eomma breaks into a sob, shaking her head back and forth. “Soonyoung, don’t."

“Hoshi-yah, you dumbfuck,” Minkyung snarls, eyes wet with tears. “You told me you wouldn’t — "

“How noble of you,” Daehyun cuts in, looking rather victorious. “Ah, you really are making this rather easy for me, Soonyoung-ah. I must say, it really isn’t beneficial for you to worry about your loved ones like these, but if you insist.” He gestures for the rogues to release the two groups tied in ropes. 

Soonyoung makes sure every last one of his friends and family gets unrestrained, eyeing the way the rogues move around them to follow orders. They’re quick with moving, slicing off the thick ropes with daggers and manhandling them harshly towards his side with unpleased grunts.

“Follow up with your side of the deal, Kwon Hoshi,” Daehyun says once all the movement is done and over with. He crosses his arms and looks at Soonyoung expectantly. “I’m an impatient man."

Baring his teeth a little, Soonyoung reluctantly moves and takes Jihoon with him, holding his mate by the shoulders and pushing him gently towards Yoongi without looking either of them in the eye. Yoongi grabs onto Jihoon, movements on autopilot in disbelief.

“Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s voice is breathless, watery. “Soonyoung. Soonyoung, don’t do this to me — “ His voice cracks. _“Soonyoung."_

Without speaking, not knowing if he could handle it without breaking down, Soonyoung cups Jihoon’s face and presses a long kiss on his forehead. Eyes squeezed shut to prevent the heat from beneath his lids, wishing he would’ve pressed a kiss on Jihoon’s lips instead, he pulls away reluctantly.

Then, trying to make his next movements as quick and as smooth as possible, knowing Daehyun is probably getting increasingly impatient, he raises Jihoon’s hand. With a deep breath, he transfers his own ring onto Jihoon’s finger, right on top of his ring, and kisses it gently.

Jihoon’s breath hitches. “Soonyoung."

Soonyoung finally raises his head to look at Yoongi. “Don’t let him go,” is all he says, before he’s detaching himself from Jihoon with a heavy heart. 

The moment they’re apart, Jihoon is already struggling out of Yoongi’s hold, repeatedly crying out, “No!” with each one getting increasingly louder than the other. Soonyoung turns his back on his mate, knowing he wouldn’t be able to leave if he saw the heartbreak on Jihoon’s face.

“Someone stop him!” Minkyung cries from the side, held back by Joshua. “Why aren’t you guys stopping him?!"

Nobody answers her, instead watching with bated breaths and ready stances. If it weren’t such a dire situation, maybe Minkyung would’ve realized that this is his duty; to protect the people first: her, Joonseo, eomma, and appa. That’s his priority, isn’t it? So why does it feel like he’s betraying them instead?

_Because you made promises to them, _Soonyoung answers himself silently as he walks up to Daehyun, each step feeling like a pound of lead more than the one before. _You made promises you thought you could keep._

Daehyun’s grin comes back. “A little longer than I would’ve liked,” he croons. “Any longer and that bitch of yours would’ve been dead."

Soonyoung growls at the insult towards Jihoon, fists clenched by his sides as he stares Daehyun down. He tries to tune out Minkyung and Jihoon’s sobs, wanting to focus as much as possible on what he can do now. There’s no way he’d be able to escape, not without endangering himself or the others around him.

_What use does Daehyun have for me now that he’s got me right where he wants me? _he thinks, subtly eyeing the pistol in Daehyun’s hand from his peripheral vision. _He doesn’t need me anymore. All there’s left to do is to “work” for Devil Hour, but that’s not up to him to decide. That’s up to me._

”I’m glad this is finally reaching a mutual agreement,” says Daehyun, pleased.

_In the end, it still doesn’t make sense. His intentions are unreasonable after all, _rationalizes Soonyoung. _He has nothing to lose now. Jihoon isn’t held hostage and neither is my mother. I’m willingly turning myself in. It’s Devil Hour’s decision now. What is he gaining from this?_

Soonyoung sees the glint of Daehyun’s blade.

_If he’s gaining nothing from this, _he thinks, keeping his gaze firmly locked on Daehyun’s, _then it’s over. He’s over._

Daehyun is still mindlessly blabbering, something about finally getting what he’s wanted and how everything is falling into place now. It’s the perfect distraction.

In one swift movement, Soonyoung reaches into his holster and grabs his dagger. Fully intending to lodge it right where Daehyun’s neck and shoulder meet, he brings it down, but just when the tip is centimeters from impaling into Daehyun’s shoulder, the man grabs his wrist rather abruptly, skillfully.

They stare at each other for a moment, and nobody seems to be breathing.

Then Daehyun clicks his tongue and hums, “I thought you knew better. I’m not oblivious, Kwon Soonyoung.”

In a blink of an eye, he grabs his own dagger and stabs it right into Soonyoung’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...you can scream at me on my Twitter @mistehri (sorry, putting a link isn’t working for me ><)  
also check out my appreciation threads for the members! I’ve currently finished 95 liners and working on Junhui’s atm.  
I’ve been trying to get more active on Twitter so I’ll probably be posting sneak peeks of upcoming chapters and upcoming fics if any of you are interested in that :)
> 
> And yeah, my exams sucked (wtf collegeboard) but at least it’s done and over with.
> 
> and IM SORRY FOR THAT ENDING  
I can’t say anything else atm :,)
> 
> And yes I did cry watching HTR ;; I’m just glad they’re in better positions now and hopefully they’ll take care of themselves more.
> 
> ALSO HAPPY SVT ANNIVERSARY!! Can’t wait for the upcoming years :)
> 
> Now that BigHit’s the shareholder for Pledis, I’m excited to see the new content that can come up now that Pledis has more support. As long as the boys are treated well and can still produce their own content, I have no problems with it :)
> 
> How are you guys holding up?
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> All he could see was Soonyoung and Daehyun, while everything else blended back into a red background.
> 
> His growl had been loud enough to startle almost everyone around him, and Yoongi’s grip on his biceps loosened ever so slightly. That small slack in his grip was enough for Jihoon to rip his body away from his cousin’s hold and launch himself at Daehyun with no mercy, eyes flashing dangerously and anger taking over his every movement.
> 
> He’d tuned out the sudden chaos that had ensued, whether it was due to the fact that Soonyoung had been stabbed, or because Jihoon was the one to snap over the initial shock first. Either way, he didn’t care. The only thing on his mind was how he was going to make Daehyun sorry for what he’d done, for hurting his alpha despite the action being done due to Soonyoung’s initial attack.


	33. Bilious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilious  
/ˈbilyəs/
> 
> 1\. affected by or associated with nausea or vomiting
> 
> 2\. spiteful; bad-tempered
> 
> 3\. relating to bile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy reading! ❤

**NAE-RI  
**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Nae-ri

Jihoon watched it happen all in slow motion. It was almost like time had been at a standstill and he’d been frozen along with it. From the moment Daehyun had grabbed Soonyoung’s wrist to stop him, to when Daehyun had just begun to grab at his own dagger, he watched it all happen and couldn’t do anything but _watch. _He’d been held captive by Yoongi and couldn’t match his cousin’s strength to his own, body begging to be released yet glued to the ground.

The pain hadn’t registered until he’d gotten over his shock, tears dry from how wide his eyes had gotten and throat feeling like sandpaper from his mouth being dropped open, stilted air barely passing by through his airways. The feeling of dread was still sitting strongly in his stomach, making him a little dizzy with disbelief and drunk on_ this cannot be happening._

He’d still been in disbelief when he saw Soonyoung collapse onto his knees as Daehyun twisted the dagger deeper into his side, an ugly, twisted smirk on his face. Even then, Jihoon couldn’t recognize the pain on his own side because all of a sudden, it was like something inside him was ripping apart.

It wasn’t the type of ripping apart where he felt like the world was coming to an end. Or, it was, but moreover, it was the type of ripping apart where he felt the wolf inside him clawing on the inside of his chest, lips frothing and pulled back in a ferocious snarl. It was the type of ripping apart where he himself shook with so much anger, eyes flashing a dangerous violet as a loud growl tore from his throat.

All he could see was Soonyoung and Daehyun, while everything else blended back into a red background.

His growl had been loud enough to startle almost everyone around him, and Yoongi’s grip on his biceps loosened _ever_ so slightly. That small slack in his grip was enough for Jihoon to rip his body away from his cousin’s hold and launch himself at Daehyun with no mercy, eyes flashing dangerously and anger taking over his every movement.

He’d tuned out the sudden chaos that had ensued, whether it was due to the fact that Soonyoung had been stabbed, or because Jihoon was the one to snap over the initial shock first. Either way, he didn’t care. The only thing on his mind was how he was going to make Daehyun sorry for what he’d done, for hurting his alpha despite the action being done due to Soonyoung’s initial attack.

He throws himself at Daehyun, effectively sending the alpha flying back a few feet and making him lose his grip on the dagger, which is still lodged in Soonyoung’s side. Jihoon stays close to his mate, squatting down and growling fiercely at anyone who dares come near.

The rogues around them decide it’s best to challenge him, guns out and shooting at him like he’s some sort of wild animal. He doesn’t hesitate to take them out, energy fueled by anger and the pure drive to protect Soonyoung. He thinks he’s gotten grazed on the shoulder but the pain barely registers, still taken by the adrenaline.

“So you wanna fight, lil’ pup?” spits Daehyun when Jihoon snaps the neck of one of the rogues trying to come near. “Then let’s fight."

Jihoon bares his teeth at him, eyes dark yet glowing passionately as he yields his dagger. Yes, he can also bring out his pistol, but he wants to _feel _Daehyun’s death. He wants to feel the way the dagger slices through his skin and muscle, wants to hear Daehyun’s cries of pain right by his ear and be able to hold his wriggling body down from escaping. A bullet would be too far for him to be pleased.

Daehyun seems to have the same motive as him, running full speed in his direction with his pistol already firing sharply at him. Jihoon dodges each bullet, eyes ablaze as the wolf inside him enhances his agility. He feels like a robot, eyes calculating each and every next move Daehyun will make.

“Ain’t gonna heal that wound of yours?” taunts Daehyun in an attempt to distract him.

Jihoon snarls, “The only wound I want to feel is the stab mark I’ll put on you, fucker."

Daehyun clicks his tongue. “Not very nice of you, darling."

The alpha stuffs his pistol in his holster before launching himself at Jihoon with a growl. The both of them roll around in the grass, teeth snapping and limbs thrashing as the both of them struggle to fight for dominance. It’s clear Daehyun is stronger but the anger inside Jihoon is effective enough to boost his own strength considerably.

He keeps his grip tight around his dagger and keeps it pointed away from him and towards Daehyun, growls slipping from his throat. He can see the way Daehyun’s eyes twinkle in amusement, like he’s _enjoying _this.

“What’s wrong, Woozi?” he asks petulantly. “Seems like you’re struggling there."

Jihoon’s wrist is suddenly twisted almost painfully as Daehyun manages to redirect the dagger towards his face instead. He grunts at the sudden pressure, teeth gritting as he pushes back against the alpha. He could’ve let the dagger drop, but Daehyun has a firm grip around his hand.

“You sick perverted fuck! Get off of him!"

A sudden force comes barreling at Daehyun, throwing him off Jihoon and making him fly a few feet away with a startled grunt.

Jihoon takes a lungful of air, his tension having made the air around him suffocating. Rolling his wrist around a few times, he readjusts his grip on his dagger and sits up.

Looking up, he finds Seungcheol’s body towering over his protectively, the alpha almost shielding Daehyun completely from his sight. He's snarling, eyes dark and fist clenched by his thigh, dagger gripped in his hand and pistol in the other. 

Although Jihoon should be grateful he’d been saved, he can’t help but feel just a tad bit disappointed for expecting unrealistic scenarios. He’d foolishly expected Soonyoung to be the one protecting him, not Seungcheol. He’d expected his alpha to be there like he’d always been, teeth bared at Daehyun and eyes dark with anger. 

Taking the few seconds he has to recover, he looks around frantically for his alpha, eyes zeroing on the hunched figure smack dab in the middle of the chaos. He’s surrounded by Namjoon, Seokmin, and Hongjoong, the three of them covering for Soonyoung while Minkyung and Seungkwan surround him, the both of them frantically patting at his body. 

There’s yelling, too much yelling that has Jihoon wondering what exactly is happening, but then he feels it.

It’s a slow burning, starting from his side and spreading out towards his whole body. It’s numbing his whole side, right where he can feel Soonyoung’s stab wound. It grapples at his skin and squeezes tight, and it’s a type of sensation that makes him feel as though he can’t breathe.

“Woozi, get up. Get up!” urges Seungcheol, leaning down to grip Jihoon by the arm and puling him to his feet. “Come on. You can’t be here. Daehyun is going to kill you!"

Jihoon stumbles ungracefully, nearly crumpling down again before he’s gripping Seungcheol’s shoulder for support. “No,” he croaks. “I ― I can’t leave knowing that bastard’s getting what he wants. Until he’s jailed, killed, whatever, I’m not stopping. I’m doing this for Hoshi and his family. Not just me."

“What a dedicated omega,” spits Daehyun with a crooked smile. “Such ugly words from a pretty face."

“You,” Seungcheol growls, whipping his head. “Shut up."

“Make me, you stupid mutt!"

Seungcheol lets out another growl, rolling his head around before turning to Jihoon, eyes dark. “Get back to Hoshi, Woozi. He’ll need you to recover, and you sure as hell aren’t able to fight when he’s in pain. You’ll lose concentration. Go back now. Hoshi’s family is in the van already."

Jihoon bites down hard on his lip, fingers curling tighter on the alpha’s shoulder. “Don’t kill him,” he orders. “That fucker is mine and Hoshi’s to end."

There’s a pause, then an affirmative nod. Seungcheol pushes Jihoon in the direction of Soonyoung, then turns back to Daehyun and lunges at him, the two of them embarking into a fierce fight. 

Wincing as a flare of pain spikes up in his side, Jihoon hurriedly makes his way over to the group surrounding Soonyoung, nearly tripping when he feels his legs beginning to numb. He doesn’t acknowledge Minkyung or Seungkwan until he’s gotten a good look at Soonyoung’s face, which is twisted into a grimace, eyes squeezed shut and heavy pants slipping between his parted lips.

“He’s been stabbed with silver,” Minkyung reports, voice stable with a slight quiver as she cleans up the blood around the wound. “It’ll be too dangerous to remove the dagger without the proper equipment on standby. If we take it out now, he’ll end up bleeding out too much."

Jihoon caresses Soonyoung’s face lightly and turns it towards him. He’s got dirt smudged on his temple, lips chapped with how much air he’s taking in. His skin is pale, the effect of the silver in his bloodstream beginning to take a physical toll on his appearance.

Soonyoung opens his eyes, just a slit, to stare back at him. Wordlessly, he reaches up to grasp onto Jihoon’s hand, squeezing tightly before releasing, then repeating the action several times. After a few seconds, his lips curl down into a disappointed frown before he winces.

“I can’t feel you,” he whispers. “Jihoonie, I can’t feel you."

Jihoon squeezes his hand back. He can feel their physical contact clearly, but it’s apparent that the silver is beginning to dumb down Soonyoung’s senses and in turn, his own senses as well. 

“I’m right here,” he reassures. “I’m here, love. Tell me what you’re feeling."

Soonyoung takes a moment to answer, eyes squeezing shut as his stomach convulses. “Numb,” he says quietly, “for the most part. But then...pain. Just...pain."

“We need to get him to the hospital,” Seungkwan says. “If we stay here any longer, he’ll eventually be too numb to feel the pain and we won’t be able to diagnose him properly. Any longer and you’ll eventually start to feel numb too, hyung.” He looks at Jihoon. “As crazy as it sounds, we still need one of you two to feel something."

“The closest hospital is an hour away,” Jihoon says, lump in his throat as he thinks about _all _the possibilities. “I ― My mother works in the emergency department."

“Call her,” Minkyung demands. “Tell her to get everything prepared so we can start operation as soon as possible. We’ll get the van and bring Soonyoung with us."

Nodding, watching as Minkyung sneaks away with Seungkwan on tow, Jihoon whips his phone out and dials his mother, praying she’s not on duty right now. He stays close to Soonyoung, head whipping around to make sure no one is targeting them despite the three men surrounding them.

_”Lee Jihyae speaking,” _his mother’s voice comes, formal.

“Eomma,” says Jihoon. “Eomma, are you on duty?"

_”I wouldn’t be answering if I were now, would I?” _chuckles his mother. _”What’s wrong? My next shift starts in about half an hour."_

”Please, can you do me a favor?” Jihoon pleads, squeezing Soonyoung’s hand again. “Can you clear your schedule? I ― I have an emergency. I can only trust you."

That seems to make his mother perk up with seriousness. _”Jihoonie? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?"_

”It’s not me. It’s ― It’s Soonyoung. He got stabbed with silver. And his family are in critical condition. We’re an hour away from the hospital. Please ― I...can you do this for me? Just this once."

His mother stays quiet on the other line, seemingly thinking it over, which, Jihoon can understand but he’s not exactly patient. Time is of the essence now, which is something they don’t really have. The more they wait, the more dangerous everything becomes. Dangerous in terms of more silver seeping into Soonyoung’s blood, more time for Daehyun to keep attacking them.

_”I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to do it,” _his mother finally speaks up, sounding stressed. _”You know that us doctors have ethical practices to do, and I can’t deny other patients in the emergency room of their service. But I can try to do things as quickly as I can, okay? I’ll tell Dr. Sejin to get a room prepared. If I’m not there to attend to Soonyoung, he’ll be the one to take care of him. I’ll have some coworkers ready to stabilize his family as well."_

”Thank you,” whispers Jihoon. “Thank you, really. We’ll be there as soon as we can."

_”Be careful, Jihoon-ah,” _his mother warns. _”I don’t want to see another one of my sons on any of these operating tables anytime soon."_

With an affirmative hum and a nod she can’t see, Jihoon hangs up and squeezes Soonyoung’s hand again. 

“Hoon...?” Soonyoung mumbles. “I don’t feel good."

Jihoon tries not to focus on how his alpha’s hand is beginning to slacken against his. He has to convince himself it’s only because Soonyoung is bleeding out, not because of something else. They still have time. Barely, but they still have it.

“We’re gonna get you to the hospital,” Jihoon says. He doesn’t know if he’s trying to reassure himself or Soonyoung. “We’re gonna get you to the hospital and you’re gonna be alright, okay? They’re gonna get all that silver out of your bloodstream and ― and my mom...or her coworker will take care of you. You’re gonna be fine."

Soonyoung stares at him, then reaches up and wipes his cheek, pulling away to reveal a wet trail down the side of his finger. 

Jihoon hasn’t realized he’s started crying until he sees the glimmer on Soonyoung’s finger. 

“I’m okay,” says Soonyoung softly. “I’ll be okay. I think the pain is going away..."

Jihoon feels his heart drop at that. He’s supposed to feel the pain, as bad as it sounds. Feeling the pain ensures the silver hasn’t affected him too much, but it seems like it’s spreading throughout his body much too rapidly. Although Jihoon can feel the pain on his side, the fact that Soonyoung can’t feel it scares him.

Before he can say anything, Seungkwan appears next to them again and pats Soonyoung’s thigh urgently. When Jihoon looks up, he can see Minkyung in the driver’s seat, the back door already open.

“Hyung,” says Seungkwan. “Hyung, can you stand?"

Soonyoung blinks at him blearily, opens his mouth then closes it again, then croaks, “I can’t feel my legs."

“Okay,” Seungkwan breathes, leaning down and wrapping Soonyoung’s arm around his shoulder. Then he juts his chin out in Jihoon’s direction. “Grab his other arm. We need to make this quick."

Following the instructions given to him, Jihoon wraps Soonyoung’s other arm around him and supports his alpha’s waist against his body. With a grunt, he stands up and tries not to focus on the pain exploding on his side. Soonyoung remains unresponsive to the pain, confirming Jihoon’s thoughts that the silver is taking affect.

Breathing harshly, reminding himself that time is ticking, he pushes onwards as he and Seungkwan walk towards the van as quickly as they can. Beside them, Namjoon, Hongjoong, and Seokmin cover for them as they load Soonyoung into the second seats. 

“Get them treated as soon as you can,” orders Namjoon, turning to them momentarily. “The police force should be on their way to help us now. As for Daehyun ― "

Jihoon purses his lips. “Lock him up in the police station for now,” he says. “I want Soonyoung to make the final decision on what happens to him."

Namjoon nods. “Respectable,” he says, then closes the door.

Jihoon takes a moment to just breathe.The air is still stuffy but it isn’t as polluted as what it was outside. He’d been so focused on trying to satisfy his own urge to destroy Daehyun, he’d forgotten that he needs to take a step back himself to just _breathe. _

“How is he?” questions Minyoung from the back as she peers over the seat to glance at her son. “Is he okay?” 

Heaving in a deep inhale, Jihoon wraps his fingers around Soonyoung’s wrist, pressing down for a steady pulse. “He’ll be okay,” he says, moreover reassuring himself. “He’s gonna be okay. My mother will take good care of him.” He turns his head to peer back. “Joonseo-yah? How you holding up?"

Joonseo shrugs. “Eomma’s wrapped a cloth around my wound,” he says. “It’s still painful but if it’s possible, I would like Soonyoung-hyung to be treated first."

“Your bruise?"

Joonseo shrugs again. “Could be better.” His fingers reach up to graze against his eye, to which Minyoung bats away sharply with a hiss of scolding.

Jihoon nods, eyes lowering to his leg, where a cloth is wrapped expertly around Joonseo’s shin. It’s bleeding through but it should be enough to last throughout the hour they have to drive. Lifting his head, his eyes meet that of a man who looks like an older version of Soonyoung.

He’s got scars and small wounds all over his face, clothes tattered and ripped. Where his eyes are kind, they also hold a hundred stories of battles untold, waiting to be let out and spilt out from chapped lips and a broken heart. Jihoon can’t help the ache in his heart.

“Soonyoung’s appa, right?” he asks rhetorically, dipping his head politely despite his position. “I’m Jihoon, Soonyoung’s mate. I’m sorry we met under these circumstances."

Kyungsoon smiles weakly, waving him off. “Not your fault, is it? I’m just glad we’re finally together.” He leans forward to peer over the seat, eyes turning worried. “Hopefully in one piece after this."

Jihoon turns back to Soonyoung and readjusts his head on his lap, stroking through his strands gently. His alpha flinches slightly, then settles back down again with a soft noise, eyes peering up at him like he has nothing else to stare at.

“They’re okay...?” he asks quietly. “Hoonie...? I feel like I’m underwater..."

Jihoon feels his heart break. Soonyoung’s senses are beginning to dumb down drastically and from what he can tell, Soonyoung’s hearing is being affected. From what he knows, silver can affect senses to the point where they can disappear completely, and it can disappear completely after surgery. But that’s only on the rare occasion.

He can only hope the surgery goes well.

“They’re okay,” he reassures, hand clasping Soonyoung’s on his chest.

His other hand grazes the stab wound gently, trying to get a feel for how much blood is leaking out. From the corner of his eye as he pulls his hand away, he can see his fingers coated in blood and he can feel the lump in his throat swell. Making sure his hand is still hidden from Soonyoung’s view ― not wanting to alarm his alpha and put him at more risk ― he uses the same hand to pat at Soonyoung’s hip gently, as if he were patting a baby to sleep.

“I’ll be okay too,” mumbles Soonyoung, eyes fluttering shut. “I have to be, ‘cause noona still has to beat my ass with her taekwondo skills, hmm?"

The tension decreases just a little as everyone allows themselves a small laugh. Even in the most serious situations, Soonyoung still has a charm for clearing the air.

“I still have to tell appa all the missions I’ve been on,” continues Soonyoung, head lolling into Jihoon’s stomach. “I wanna hear what happened to him...while we eat eomma’s kimchi fried rice. Like old times."

There’s a sniff behind them, no doubt from Kyungsoon. The grief is heavy around him, even when Minyoung places a hand on his shoulder as a silent comfort.

“And I...I have to train Joonseo too,” Soonyoung breathes. “I have to train him so he doesn’t get himself into situations like these. So he can protect himself and know when not to be stubborn like me, so he doesn’t get shot in the leg or stabbed in the side."

With every word that slips from Soonyoung's lips, Jihoon squeezes his hand tighter, to the point where he numbs himself. The lump in his throat swells, but he has to convince himself everything will be okay. Everything _will _be okay.

Soonyoung opens his eyes to stare up at him. They’re teary with emotion, and Jihoon can feel it clearly.

“I have to be okay,” whispers Soonyoung, squeezing Jihoon’s hand despite probably not being able to feel it himself. “I have to be okay, so that I can see your head next to mine every time I wake up the next morning, and all the mornings after that. I have to be okay, so I can be in the room with you when you birth our pups."

Nodding wordlessly, Jihoon bites down hard on his lip to hide the trembling.

“I have to be okay,” Soonyoung repeats, a tear rolling down his cheek, “so I can see you walking down the aisle on our big day with that beautiful smile of yours. So I can see your parents hand you off to me for the rest of our lives as we grow old together. So I can hear the priest ask if you’ll take me to be your husband.” He fiddles with the two rings on Jihoon’s finger. “And so I can hear you say ‘I do.’"

Soonyoung’s strong facade is beginning to crumble. “Jihoonie, I want to hear you say ‘I do,’” he whimpers. “I want to marry you and grow old with you...I don’t want to die yet. There’s so many things I have to do. There’s so many things I promised...I wanna hear you say ‘I do.’"

“I do,” Jihoon says brokenly. “Soonyoung, I do. I do, I do, I do. I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. I do."

Like that, Soonyoung goes lax again, a smile trembling on his lips. “And I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. I do."

Jihoon leans down and presses a firm kiss against Soonyoung’s smile. He makes sure his alpha can feel it, numbness be damned. He makes sure he pours every single ounce of love into his actions, hands holding Soonyoung tight against him and tears dripping beneath his eyelids.

“Kwon Jihoonie,” whispers Soonyoung when they pull away slightly. “Kwon Jihoonie. It suits you. Kwon Jihoon-ssi...” He pauses, nudging his forehead into Jihoon’s stomach. “I’ll be okay, right?"

Jihoon nods, feeling the most powerful he’s felt since this whole thing started. “Yes, Lee Soonyoungie,” he says. “You’ll be okay."

Soonyoung gives him a crooked smile and squeezes his hand again. “Can you wake me up when we get there?"

Leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his alpha’s forehead, Jihoon nods and goes back to stroking his strands.

“Sleep, alpha,” he murmurs. “I’ll be right here with you."

And so with that, Soonyoung lets his eyes flutter closed, breathing even and grip on Jihoon’s hand loosening.

Jihoon can only pray Soonyoung will get to fulfill all his promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU CRIED, I’M SORRY. I DID TOO, DW.  
(Also, apologies in advance for the sneak peek .3.)
> 
> I decided to write around the fight scenes because I suck at writing them, but we will get that Daehyun ending we’ve all been wanting, dw ><  
I’ve also been falling behind with the members’ threads. I’ve finished Soonyoung’s but haven’t started on Wonwoo’s in regards to the recent events that have happened. I will try to start in a few weeks depending on how things go, so if you’re interested, go check out my twt @mistehri :)
> 
> I honestly don’t have much to say this week, so tell me how your week has been going :) Stay safe and healthy loves and if you’re gonna protest, please be careful and be prepared! ^^
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> But then his mother looks at Minyoung with a bitter smile, then back to Jihoon with what seems to be...an apologetic look?
> 
> “I’m sorry,” she speaks up finally.
> 
> Jihoon feels all his senses numb instantly at those two words alone. It couldn’t be possible. It just couldn’t. He hadn’t felt anything at all during the operation and even with the anesthesia in Soonyoung’s bloodstream, he surely would’ve felt the pain of losing his mate, right?
> 
> Right...?
> 
> “What...What does that mean?” he whispers in disbelief. “Eomma...Eomma, what are you saying? You’re lying, aren’t you?"
> 
> His mother stares at him with that same apologetic look. “We cannot lie to our patients, Jihoon-ah. You know that,” she says gently. “That would be against our ethics."
> 
> “My son,” Minyoung speaks up, eyes wide. “How is my son?"
> 
> Jihoon feels his knees weaken when he hears what his mother has to say next. Although some small part of him had been hoping she’d laugh and tell everyone it’s just a prank, it would prove to be unethical hospital practices and even then, his mother has always been a very honest person.
> 
> His mother clears her throat, then formally says, “We were not able to retrieve all the silver in his bloodstream.”


	34. Evocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evocation  
/ˌēvōˈkāSH(ə)n,evōˈkāSH(ə)n/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the act of bringing or recalling a feeling, memory, or image to the conscious mind
> 
> 2\. an account or work of art that brings or recalls a feeling, memory, or image to the conscious mind
> 
> 3\. the action of invoking a spirit or deity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance :,)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**BUSAN HOSPITAL**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongho-ro

Transferring Soonyoung from the van into the emergency rooms is all a flurry of movement and hurried orders from doctors and nurses alike. Jihoon has a hard time keeping up with them but he doesn’t let himself part from his alpha, keeping at least one hand on Soonyoung even as they run down the halls with his alpha on a gurney.

Kyungsoon and Joonseo have already been wheeled in shortly after Soonyoung had, while Minyoung and Minkyung both refused in favor of getting their loved ones treated first.

Like his mother said, the doctors have protocols to follow, and he isn’t any exception to them.

“Jihoon-ah!” a familiar voice calls, and Jihoon looks up to see his mother running down the other side of the hall with nurses behind her. 

“Eomma.” He can almost cry right now. “Eomma, please ― "

His mother stops in front of him, eyes scanning over his body up and down as she grasps him by the shoulders. “You’re not hurt, are you? I can call in someone to treat you ― "

“Please, attend to Soonyoung first. Don’t worry about me,” Jihoon pleads, shaking his head. He glances over at the closed door. “I can’t go inside?"

“Jihoon-ah, while I know you’re worried, I’m gonna have to ask you to stay outside,” his mother says, already snapping on some latex gloves as the nurses in scrubs rush into the room where Soonyoung had been wheeled into. “It’s gonna get really ugly in there, even more so if you’re in there and you can’t stomach it. We’re gonna do everything we can to make sure he comes out well, alright?"

Jihoon bites down on his lip. “Please. Just help him,” he says wearily.

His mother nods affirmatively and gives him a pat on the shoulder before turning around and disappearing behind the door. The halls fall silent soon after, the events coming to a standstill.

Feeling all the exhaustion crash onto him, Jihoon stumbles back onto one of the seats and rubs a hand over his face. 

“Easy there,” Seungkwan mutters, rubbing Jihoon’s back and sitting on the seat next to him. “He’ll be okay, hyung. If Soonyoung-hyung can be so stubborn in a battle, he can be stubborn fighting off what’s in his body too."

Jihoon snorts. “Thanks, Kwan."

They stay quiet for a moment, just taking in the rare moment of quiet inside the halls. 

It’s almost crazy, how one moment they were in a battlefield, filled with blood and yelling and gunshots ringing in every direction. Now they’re in a more secluded area, with the sounds of clicking and printing, voices and crying and laughter coming from the other end of the hall.

It feels like he’s in a parallel universe.

“You know,” Seungkwan begins, knowing the troubled look on Jihoon’s face. “I’ve never really told you how I found out about you and hyung, did I?"

Glancing up at him, Jihoon furrows his eyebrows. “What are you talking about? You did. Back at the bus when Soonyoung and I confessed. Soonyoung also told me about it after we bonded."

Seungkwan shakes his head. “Can I tell you the full story? I think this will be my chance to give my variety show host career a go."

Staring at him for a moment, Jihoon can’t help but notice how sincere the younger omega looks, eyes genuine and smile gentle with a small tease. If there’s one thing he’s sure about Seungkwan, it’s the fact that he’s very expressive, especially facial-wise. As much of a brat he can be, Seungkwan has a thing for knowing how to say things indirectly.

Jihoon supposes that’s what Seungkwan is doing right now: giving him the distraction he needs.

With a sigh, slumping against the chair tiredly, Jihoon waves his hand and says, “Okay, Boo Seungkwan. Let’s hear it."

Seungkwan claps his hands once, looking rather excited as he begins to speak.

“So I told you that I found out when we celebrated Chuseok four years ago,” he starts, straightening in his seat. “I was really into photography around that time because Mingyu thought it would be good for me to start looking photogenic or whatever. Said it’ll help me with my future career as a variety host.” He rolls his eyes.

Jihoon can’t help but snort. “You two are always at each other’s throats,” he points out.

Seungkwan waves him off. “Off topic,” he declares. “Anyway, I was into photography, whatever. Point is, I took Minghao-hyung’s camera with me during Chuseok because I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to practice."

“Practice what? If you’re thinking of becoming a variety host, why would you bring a camera when your job is to act like some sort of comedian instead?” Jihoon retorts, crossing his arms.

Seungkwan scowls. “Don’t question it, hyung. Anyway, if I can continue,” he emphasizes, staring pointedly at the older omega. “I guess I just wanted to practice taking pictures of us, but then I realized that we were all separated into small groups because Seungcheol-hyung thought it would be nice to let us live like normal people."

Jihoon feels a pang in his chest at the implication that they really aren’t normal people. Sometimes when he’s in the heat of the moment, he kind of forgets how _different _being in the industry is compared to being in something like the music or medical field. 

“And so I walked around for the next hour with Mingyu talking my ear off and Vernonie offering to buy food from the vendors,” Seungkwan continues on, glaring at Jihoon when he sees the teasing look on his face. “_Us,_ hyung. Not just me."

Jihoon shrugs. “I didn’t say anything."

“Whatever,” scoffs Seungkwan. “Anyway. You remember when Cheol-hyung told us to meet up by the bridge to watch the fireworks? That’s where I found out."

“Congrats,” Jihoon says sarcastically. “Tell me something I don’t know."

Seungkwan ignores him. “When the fireworks exploded, I was already taking pictures by then. I was just doing it, you know, minding my own business, and then I had the sudden urge to take a picture of Soonyoung-hyung."

Although everything is done and over with and Jihoon doesn’t have a reason to fear anymore, he finds his heartbeat escalating when he imagines how Seungkwan had found out. If an incident like that were to happen again, he reckons he and Soonyoung will have to be more careful in their actions.

“And so when I snapped the picture, I didn’t notice anything weird at first.” Seungkwan pauses, then quickly backtracks. “Not that I found it weird in the first place. Or, I did but not in a bad way of weird, y’know? I swear I’m not homophobic."

“How could you when you’re always thirsting after Vernon’s ― "

Seungkwan slaps a hand over Jihoon’s mouth without hesitation. “Anyway,” he says loudly, cheeks turning a gradual pink. “Not the point. I took the picture and thought nothing of it, okay?"

Jihoon reaches up and yanks Seungkwan’s hand away from his mouth with a grimace. “Your hand smells gross."

Once more, Seungkwan ignores him. “Anyway, after the firework show was over, I was just casually looking back at the photos I took and deleting all the unworthy ones, but when I saw the one of hyung, I noticed something...rather odd."

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon groans, “Stop sounding like a storyteller. You’re so dramatic."

“Part of my future career,” says Seungkwan. “When I looked back at the picture, I didn’t notice you were standing next to hyung since I took a picture of his side and you’re practically overshadowed by him ― "

“Is that an insult to my height, Boo Seungkwan?"

“Of course not, hyung,” Seungkwan says easily, shooting him an overly friendly smile. “I’m just saying, I didn’t see you there at first because Soonyoung-hyung was in front. When I looked at the picture, you guys looked like you were holding hands and normally, I would’ve dismissed that easily because we hold hands with the members all the time."

Jihoon hums in acknowledgement. “What made you think otherwise then?"

“You hate any type of skinship, hyung,” muses Seungkwan. “Especially with Soonyoung-hyung. You even told us he was the most annoying person you’ve ever met."

Quietly, Jihoon mulls over his past actions. If Seungkwan hadn’t been taking pictures then, none of their members would’ve known they were in a relationship. He supposes fate has a funny way of revealing things.

“And because we were in a public space at that time, I knew better than to confront the both of you right then and there,” continues the younger espionage. “I was supposed to catch the both of you alone when we were heading back to the headquarters, but Cheol-hyung ended up needing you for something at the time and I could only catch Soonyoung-hyung then."

“And you confronted him about it?"

“I did,” Seungkwan confirms. “I knew he wouldn’t tell me if I simply asked if you were together, so I tried subtly hinting at it. I said things like, ‘Oh, Jihoon-hyung seemed really friendly with you earlier’ and ‘Where did you take Jihoon-hyung?’

Jihoon groans, then releases a chuckle as he rubs his face once more. “Boo Seungkwan, that isn’t very subtle."

“Well, it worked anyway, so I’d say I did a pretty good job,” Seungkwan defends. “He kept giving me weird stares like I didn’t know what I was talking about, but I kept pestering and nagging him about it until he eventually snapped and told me, ‘How did you know?’ which implied that you two were, in fact, together."

“He didn’t say it directly?” Jihoon questions. 

“I don’t think he meant to say it directly, but he did give me warning signs so I wouldn’t tell the others,” snickers Seungkwan. “I thought he would’ve told you that I knew about you two, but I guess he wanted to play it more safe."

Jihoon lets out a noise mixed between a sigh and another hum. It truly just goes to show how cautious Soonyoung had been, and all the extra precautionary measures he’d taken to make sure they weren’t outed. He can’t help but feel a little more guilty, yet appreciative.

“How...What was your reaction when you found out about us?” he asks quietly.

“Shock, mostly,” answers Seungkwan with a shrug. “I think it’s pretty obvious why. You’ve always been pretty insistent that you didn’t like a single bone in Soonyoung-hyung’s body, so it was pretty surprising that you two ended up dating after all. I was also happy for you two, because really, you two deserve love after all the pain you’ve been through then and even now."

He pauses for a moment, as if thinking over his words, then mutters, “I suppose I also felt a little sad."

“Sad?"

Seungkwan nods, looking emotional. “Like I said, you two deserve to love and to be loved in return. When I found out you two were trying to hide it from us, I could understand why. What we do isn’t a very secure job, even more so when we’re doing it with people we truly care about. I felt sorry for you two, because you guys can’t be as liberated with your affections as other normal couples are."

Jihoon grimaces when he sees the thin layer of tears coating Seungkwan’s eyes, and he takes the opportunity to shove his shoulder. “Ey, what are you crying for? We’re used to it by now, y’know? There’s no need to cry over something we’ve already acknowledged as a regular thing."

“Still, hyung. I just feel sad for your lost opportunities."

Sighing, Jihoon shoves him again, more gently this time. “We’ll have those opportunities in the future,” he says certainly. “And we also have our moments behind closed doors too ― "

“_Really _private moments,” mutters Seungkwan.

Unapologetically, Jihoon pushes him off the seat with a straight face. “Point is,” he insists, feeling his ears gradually warm up. “I don’t really think of it as a sad moment anymore...especially now, I guess. I’m not gonna lie. When Soonyoung and I kept fighting earlier on during the mission, I did think of it as though we won’t have those moments anymore, because I thought I’ve already lost him."

He leans back against his seat and watches Seungkwan pull himself up with a scowl. Ignoring it, he continues, “But when we made up and began talking things out...instead of seeing it as missed opportunities, I started seeing it as making up for those opportunities and just...being able to spend more time healing together."

“Hyung, you’ve grown much too sappy...” complains Seungkwan.

Jihoon pushes him off again with an irritated scowl. “Brat,” he scolds. “I wasn’t hiding my sappiness in the first place. I was just being quiet."

“Sure, hyung,” drawls the younger omega, now taking the initiative to sit a seat apart from Jihoon. 

A moment of quietness runs between them before Seungkwan speaks again. “Seriously though, hyung. When you two do get married, I call being someone’s best man."

Jihoon laughs, and it’s the first time since the start of the fight does he feel light. As annoying as Seungkwan is, he doesn’t fail to bring the mood up, and though Jihoon doesn’t say it, especially to his face, he’s truly grateful to have Seungkwan on his team.

“Dibs on being your best man when you and Vernon get married then, hmm?” he teases back.

Seungkwan flushes, opening his mouth to retort when Jihoon’s phone rings.

Frowning, not liking the sudden interruption from the brief moment of relief, he reaches round and pulls his phone out, feeling his heartbeat escalate when he sees the caller ID. He’s either going to answer the bearer of bad news or the good news everyone’s been waiting to hear.

_S.Coups is calling..._

Pressing the accept button, he gestures for Seungkwan to come closer and lets the younger omega lean close as he says, “Hello?"

_”It’s over."_

Simultaneously, both Jihoon and Seungkwan slump over each other, breathless. Some people may take those words out of context. Those words can be used to signal the ending of a relationship or the ending of a disaster, and for the both of them, it’s the ending of a battle long fought.

_”Daehyun is being arrested now as we speak and will be in confinement until your word,” _continues Seungcheol, sounding worn out. _”Most are dead. The rest have been given a chance to change sides or turn themselves in."_

Jihoon takes a moment to gather himself, to gather his thoughts and bottled up emotions. He takes the chance to release the tension from his body and leans his head back, closing his eyes. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, can’t really find the words to express his relief.

“What...” he croaks thickly, clearing his throat and retrying. “How...How is everyone else?"

_”Our allies are already working to help the police discard the bodies and figure out their identities. Mini-H and his team are already organizing to phone relatives and call in workers to rebuild and regrow the area. RM-hyung says we’ll go over the debriefing once everyone is in decent shape."_

”Is anyone injured?"

_“I ― yes,” _Seungcheol says hesitantly. _”Like I said, we’ll go into debriefing after everyone is in decent shape, so that means RM-hyung’s team and ours will be meeting you in the hospital."_

Jihoon doesn’t like the sound of that, and from the nervous area coming from beside him, Seungkwan doesn’t either.

“Alright...” he says slowly, trying not to think of the worst.

_”How’s Hoshi?"_

”He’s...” Jihoon trails off, trying to get a sense of his own body. “He’s going under anesthesia right now. I can’t feel anything and they wouldn’t let me in the room either."

Seungcheol makes a noise, sounding like a mix between a sigh and a hum. _”He’ll be okay,” _he comforts, like he can sense Jihoon’s nervousness. _”He’s a fighter, and he’s a stubborn alpha. If there’s one thing he’ll prevent from happening, it’s his own death."_

Jihoon tries to take his words in with a grain of salt. “Yeah."

_”Alright, well, I need to take care of a few things before we head over,” _Seungcheol informs. _”If any news about Hoshi comes about, call me. We’ll see you in about an hour."_

”Yeah, sure. See ya."

The call ends with a beep from Seungcheol’s end, and Jihoon has to regain the courage to move, pocketing his phone quietly. 

For the next hour it takes Seungcheol and his team along with Namjoon’s team to get to the hospital, they all wait in silence. Energy having drained and relief having been brought to them by the bearer of both good and bad news, they don’t speak much, save for Jihoon occasionally asking Minyoung and Minkyung how they’re holding up.

“I’ll be fine so long as my son and mate both get out of here in good condition,” is what Minyoung says, a warm yet exhausted smile on her face when Jihoon pats the seat next to him for her to sit. “By the way, Jihoon...I’ve been meaning to ask you about something. It’s about what happened in the car."

Jihoon, although confused, smiles at her politely. “What is it?"

“When you and Soonyoungie get married...” she begins, and Jihoon’s lips part open in realization, “...please update me on him often, at least once every three days.” She reaches up to press a hand against her shoulder. “Lord knows how much trouble he’d be willing to get himself into, and now that he’s a grown man, I can’t watch over him all the time."

Jihoon stays quiet, staring at her side profile and watching her eyes get teary. He can only imagine how scared she’s feeling right now. With a son in the industry, he thinks it’s a regular feeling to be afraid of what could come next. With her own son in the hospital, bleeding out from silver, it’s reasonable for her to be emotional.

“I’m trusting you, Jihoonie,” Minyoung continues. “Other than us, I think you’re the only one who can put him in his place, y’know? He listens to you well."

Jihoon returns his gaze to his hands in his lap. “Last time I tried getting him to listen...we fell apart,” he says quietly, a bitter feeling tickling his throat. “Everything from that point on just fell apart. I don’t think...I’m scared that if I try...we’ll only end up back to square one."

“That’s because my son is a stubborn son of a gun,” Minyoung sighs, and the statement is so abrupt, Jihoon snorts. “A lot of people say he’s like me in that aspect but truthfully, he takes it from his father. But in all seriousness, Jihoon-ah, it’s because he’s only looking out for you."

Jihoon nods like he understands, but at the same time, it’s difficult to comprehend why Soonyoung had done the things he did. The alpha had given him explanations and although Jihoon forced himself to make sense of it, he just couldn’t meet eye to eye with what was given to him.

“He told me a few bits of his plan here and there,” Minyoung says, like she senses Jihoon’s conflict. “The plans about trying to get Daehyun to stop targeting you."

Jihoon stills at that.

“I know he didn’t tell me everything, and I think it was because he didn’t want to be too sure of himself,” Minyoung chuckles. “He was always unsure when it came to you, you know? Every Sunday when he could, he’d keep giving me updates about you like I was his diary. He’d tell me how you and him fought again, or how you both insulted each other because of a simple thing."

“What...?” croaks Jihoon, not knowing what to say. He didn’t know Soonyoung had been confiding to his mother about their relationship.

Minyoung nods. “Yeah, he did all those things after he told me you two had a major fight after the last Nae-ri battle. There were times where I could tell he wanted to cry, times where he’d tell me how much he misses you and how he wished to do nothing more than have you back with him."

A silence runs between them as Jihoon tries to process what’s going on. He didn’t know how much Soonyoung had struggled during their separation, and his alpha had been true to his words from the very beginning. It’s always been just him, just Jihoon, for Soonyoung.

“I don’t blame you, Jihoon-ah. Most of the things that have happened now is because of Soonyoung’s own reckless decisions,” Minyoung says, wrapping her arm around Jihoon’s shoulder, “but understand that everything he does is also out of the good of his heart and his love for you, even if it isn’t in the best way."

And Jihoon wants to cry again, but he’s so wrung out from exhaustion that all he can do is just nod and accept Minyoung’s sincerity. After their last Nae-ri battle, it’s inevitable he would end up doubting Soonyoung’s love for him, but all of his worries proved to be futile instead. 

He glances down at the two rings on his finger, rubbing his thumb against Soonyoung’s. Never once did his own love for his alpha falter but in times where people tell him the lengths Soonyoung had gone just to protect _him_, because of his undeniable love for _him_, it makes Jihoon feel small. 

Small as in he feels as though he hasn’t done enough to show Soonyoung the same type of love: strong and unbreakable. Small as in he feels as though his love can’t compare to Soonyoung’s, that their love is an imbalance of what could’ve represented their relationship back then: inferior and superior, unequal.

“Don’t think too much, Jihoon-ah,” Minyoung says gently, snapping Jihoon out of his thoughts when he feels a thumb press against his temple. “Even though you both are in such an industry, Soonyoung can be quite loud with his affections. He got that from me, no doubt, but anyone with two eyes can see that you love him just as much."

Jihoon turns his head to stare back into her gentle eyes and kind smile. He feels like a child, and although it isn’t his mother comforting him, she’s a close second.

“I can tell you don’t cry often,” she murmurs. “You’re always living up to that Busan stereotype, Jihoon-ah. Handsome, but aloof, y’know? And I remember Soonyoung telling me how much he tried to talk to you when you first met, but you were so closed off. Yet somehow, he managed to get in that little hole of your heart. Why is that?"

Jihoon responds instantly, “I found him interesting.” He pauses. “He...He talked about how he wanted to be a dancer, and how he wished he’d been able to live his dream, and the first thing I thought of then was, ‘Wow, there’s someone out there...someone who’s like me, who thinks the same way.’"

He laughs quietly then, looking back at the rings. “He was always too talkative, especially when he was trying to know me. And I think that’s what made me start to like him, how persistent he was and how he never gave up. He’s always fighting for what he believes in."

“He fought for you."

Jihoon feels his breath hitch at that, eyes welling with tears. “Yeah,” he croaks. “Yeah, I guess he did. And now...now I keep crying because of him...really..."

Minyoung laughs, pulling him into a side hug. “Thank you for looking out for him in your own special way,” she says. “I hope you’ll continue to watch out for his dumbass ― “ Jihoon laughs, “ ― but just trust yourself. Learn to start trusting yourself and trust Soonyoung. I know that after this, there’s going to be a lot of healing between you two. You two might fight again, but I can guarantee it won’t be as severe as before. Nonetheless, if Soonyoung starts acting up, give me a call and I’ll drive over to smack his head upright."

Jihoon laughs again and reaches round to hug her back, feeling warm. “Thank you, Minyou ― "

“Ah-ah!” exclaims Minyoung, pulling away with a strict finger. “Eomma. It’s _eomma_, Jihoon-ah. How many times do I have to remind you? Come on, say it."

Ears pink, Jihoon mutters out a shy, “Thank you, _e-eomma._"

Minyoung brushes his fringe away from his eyes with another wide smile. “I can’t wait to have you as my son-in-law."

The sweet moment lasts only for a few seconds when rapid footsteps ― sounding like a horde ― comes running down the hall, nurses passing by frantically and EMT’s pushing two gurneys past them. 

The brief glance Jihoon gets at the two people on the gurneys along with the sudden onslaught of people has him standing abruptly. Turning his head, he catches Seungcheol and everyone else jogging up towards them. Namjoon and his team are right behind their trail, and Jimin looks especially worried.

“Yoongi got shot in the leg,” Namjoon explains upon Jihoon’s questioning glance. “Cursed like a sailor but he should be alright."

Seungcheol rubs a hand down his face. “Wonwoo has a concussion,” he says after. “It didn’t look severe but it’s best to take extra measures to make sure he’s okay."

Jihoon sighs and shakes his head, turning to look at Jimin and Mingyu. The older omega is already being comforted by both Taehyung and Jungkook, and Mingyu is being oddly silent yet his nervous pheromones can be smelt within a mile radius. Seungkwan is already making a move to sit beside him in silent comfort.

“What’s Soonyoung’s status?” questions Seungcheol.

Shrugging, Jihoon answers, “I don’t know. They’ve numbed him already so I can’t feel anything."

Seungcheol nods and leans himself against the wall, bowing his head politely to Minyoung. “Hello, _ajumeoni_,” he greets. “Are you alright? How’s Kyungsoon-ssi and Joonseo?"

Minyoung smiles at him. “I’m fine, thank you, Cheol-ah. My boys should be okay after this."

With a sigh, Jihoon drowns out the chatter around him and leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He just wants nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up knowing that everything will be alright.

He doesn’t know how long they wait, distracting themselves with small talk and impatient silence every now and then. He reckons they’re all in need of comfort of each other now. 

Even when Dr. Sejin comes over to inform them that Kyungsoon and Joonseo’s treatments have gone well and both will be receiving further medical aid for the next week, news of Soonyoung’s surgery remains unknown. Jihoon call tell both Minyoung and Minkyung are relieved, even just slightly.

Even when another doctor by the name of Eunji comes over to tell them that Wonwoo will be taking a rest for the next two days, news of Soonyoung’s wellbeing is still unknown. Mingyu almost cries upon hearing that but Minghao is quick to tell him it’s bad for his image.

Even when _another _doctor, Dr. Kyangmin, comes out to tell them that Yoongi is in stable condition and will be needing to use a wheelchair for the next week, Soonyoung’s state is _still _unknown. Jimin mutters something about knocking some sense into his alpha but is ultimately relieved, if the smile on his lips is anything to go by.

And Jihoon is starting to grow nervous as the clock keeps ticking, because all there’s left now is Soonyoung. He tries hard to get rid of his doubts, but he can’t deny the desperation inside him. Everyone else is starting to sense his nervousness but they don’t do much about it. Instead, they let him be and opt to watch him from a few feet, some of them staring in pity when he sinks down against the floor in exhaustion.

Jihoon doesn’t want that.

Soonyoung will be fine.

He’ll be fine and everything will be okay.

He reckons they’ve been staying over for a couple of hours now, five at most. Jihoon can tell that some of them are growing tired, eyes drooping and mouths opening wide to yawn. Not wanting to burden them, he tells them to rent a hotel for the night, but they’re all stubborn.

“I’m not leaving until I know Soonyoungie-hyung is okay,” is what Chan says, tired but determined.

Hoseok had agreed with him, saying, “Soon’s like a little brother to me. I know he wouldn’t leave if I were in his position either."

And so they waited some more. To Jihoon, it feels like an eternity before his mother finally, _finally _opens the door, but in truth, they must’ve been waiting for at least another hour.

Hastily, Jihoon gets up to his feet and straightens up, as does everyone else. Clearing his throat from any lumps threatening to grow inside, he wipes his clammy hands against his pants and takes a step forward.

“How is he?” he questions immediately, watching his mother take off her mask. “Is he okay?"

His mother doesn’t speak for a moment, instead looking up and surveying the group of people in the room. Jihoon is practically on his _toes_ waiting for an answer, and he doesn’t exactly know if he even wants to hear one. He feels Seungkwan’s hand on his shoulder, a squeeze of silent comfort.

But then his mother looks at Minyoung with a bitter smile, then back to Jihoon with what seems to be...an apologetic look?

“I’m sorry,” she speaks up finally.

Jihoon feels all his senses numb instantly at those two words alone. It couldn’t be possible. It just couldn’t. He hadn’t felt anything at all during the operation and even with the anesthesia in Soonyoung’s bloodstream, he surely would’ve felt the pain of losing his mate, right?

Right...?

“What...What does that mean?” he whispers in disbelief. “Eomma...Eomma, what are you saying? You’re lying, aren’t you?"

His mother stares at him with that same apologetic look. “We cannot lie to our patients, Jihoon-ah. You know that,” she says gently. “That would be against our ethics."

“My son,” Minyoung speaks up, eyes wide. “How is my son?"

Jihoon feels his knees weaken when he hears what his mother has to say next. Although some small part of him had been hoping she’d laugh and tell everyone it’s just a prank, it would prove to be unethical hospital practices and even then, his mother has always been a very honest person.

His mother clears her throat, then formally says, “We were not able to retrieve all the silver in his bloodstream."

―

**SEOUL FUNERAL SERVICES**

**AUGUST 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongsan-gu

The sky is as gloomy as it had been just two months ago when Jihoon finishes buttoning up the last of his black polo. He glances at himself at the mirror and messes with his hair a little, pursing his lips when the strands fall back into the position he’d wanted to change it from.

Giving up, he lets out a sigh and reaches out for his wallet when his fingers scrape a different material instead. Turning his head, he stills when he finds himself staring back at an old familiar polaroid.

It was taken five years ago, back in 2014. He and Soonyoung had just been starting their first year out as a couple, and looking back at the polaroid, he regrets not cherishing those moments when he could. He always had a feeling his Busan pride would get in the way of his enjoyment for the little things, but he just didn’t know how _much._

It’s a picture of him and Soonyoung, of course. His alpha has his head on top of his, a wide smile on his face and showcasing his signature slanted eyes. Jihoon, with his head tucked underneath the alpha’s chin, is making a face at the camera, and he remembers not being too comfortable with PDA back then. 

He remembers how much Soonyoung had begged to take a picture with him, pleaded him with the most ridiculous puppy face and dramatic pout. Of course, however, much to Jihoon’s dismay, he’d given in with a scowl and pink cheeks, declaring he would do it “just this once if you’ll quit making that ugly face."

Needless to say, the outcome turned out to be a little less than what Jihoon deemed acceptable, but Soonyoung had been practically over the moon about it. His alpha had claimed that he’d finally gotten a picture with “the almighty Jihoon,” and Jihoon could only shake his head with a small, but fond smile.

Jihoon picks up the polaroid and gently grazes his thumb over Soonyoung’s face, smile faltering slightly.

“How did you get out here?” he murmurs to himself more so than the polaroid. 

The sound of a knock on his bedroom door startles him and he almost drops the precious memory. Whipping his head towards the sound, he takes a moment to calm down and calls, “Come in."

The door opens, and Jeonghan pokes his head in carefully. “Jihoonie, are you ready? We’re gonna be late for the visitation.” He walks over, eyes catching the object in Jihoon’s hand. “What’s that?"

Instead of speaking, Jihoon turns the polaroid and shows him, watching Jeonghan’s eyes soften. His eyes flicker back and forth between Jihoon’s eyes and the polaroid, before he lets out a sigh and reaches out to wrap his arms around the omega.

“Will you be okay?” he asks quietly.

Jihoon, not knowing if he can speak, nods against Jeonghan’s collarbone. He sinks into the beta’s embrace for a moment, taking the time to gather his thoughts and ease his bumbling nerves. 

They stay like that for a few moments, unhurried, before Jeonghan pulls away with a gentle smile, a complete contrast from his usual, mischievous one.

“I’ll meet you downstairs,” he says softly, turning around and closing the door behind him when he walks out.

Jihoon inhales, breaths a tad bit shaky before he musters up the strength to walk towards his bed. Kneeling down, he reaches under and pulls out a large brown box, an elegant _Memories Of Us _scribbled neatly across the top. Opening it, he places the polaroid inside the box, letting it sit on top of many other memories.

He lets his eyes wander all over the box, lets it take in all the memories they’d made together. Photos of him and Soonyoung, sometimes just him, sometimes just Soonyoung. Sometimes with their friends and sometimes with their family. All there, kept in one box with little captions writing on the bottom of each photo.

> _Jihoonie eating the scrambled eggs I made <3 150802_
> 
> _Youngie trying out the spicy ramen. Look at this idiot’s face... 160912_
> 
> _Jihoonie’s face when he got me macarons for V-day! <3 >< 160214_
> 
> _First time seeing Jihoonie shirtless //><// 160621_
> 
> _Soonyoung being an idiot again <3 170101_

”Jihoonie, visitation is starting in half an hour!"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Jihoon closes the box and delicately slides it back underneath the bed, heart somewhat mellow as he pockets his wallet and his phone. With one last look at the bed, he makes his way down the stairs and outside, locking the door behind him and turning around.

His team, Jeonghan, Joshua, Seokmin, and Seungkwan are all waiting for him around a white van. They’re all dressed appropriately, in shades of blacks and blues, and all holding flowers. Seungkwan and Seokmin are both holding violets, while Jeonghan and Joshua hold cosmos. There’s another flower in Joshua’s hold, a daffodil. Jihoon’s flower.

“Ready to go?” asks Joshua, holding out Jihoon’s daffodil.

Taking it with gentle fingertips, Jihoon nods and takes a deep breath. “Ready."

They all pile in the van in a comfortable silence as Jeonghan drives them to their destination. It takes a little over twenty five minutes for them to get to where they need to be, and by the time they’re there, the priest has already started on the eulogy.

They find the rest of their team sitting in the front two rows, and swiftly yet quietly make their way over as to not disturb the others around them. Jihoon sits at the edge of the row, finding the most comfort there as he settles in respectfully.

“...and was a loving partner. Somewhere along the way, he lost himself,” the priest says, glancing around the crowd. “He lost who he was, and lost sight of what could’ve been his future. He’s had many opportunities to make up for that lost time but instead chose a path that made his life more difficult for him. As such, we should honor and remember that his intentions were with an ill mind, and not purposefully..."

Jihoon kind of zones out for the rest of the eulogy although he doesn’t mean to. He’s still a little in disbelief when he turns his head to stare at the open casket, can’t really believe that this moment is happening. 

A hand on his thigh is what snaps him out of his reverie, and a soft whisper of, “Are you okay?"

Without turning his head, Jihoon nods quietly and lets the hand rub up and down soothingly. Gradually, he tunes back into the eulogy with the newfound comfort.

The eulogy passes by with what seems like a long time but when it’s time for the viewing, Jihoon wishes he’d listened to what the priest was saying.

Everyone in his row stands up and he follows suite robotically, allowing the hand from before to gently guide him forward into line.

“You don’t have to, you know,” murmurs Seungkwan from behind him. 

Jihoon turns around and gives him a tight-lipped smile. “I want to,” he says quietly. “It wouldn’t be very fair of me."

It takes only a few minutes, a few minutes too short until it’s time for his turn. 

He walks up slowly, comforted by the presence around him as he stares in silence at the body. He’s not going to lie, he feels a little sick when he sees the deathly pale complexion or the loss of color on his lips. Even during death, his hair is gelled back like he needs it, cold hands holding a necklace.

There’s a pat on his back, reminding him that there are other people waiting to see. Hesitantly, he steps to the side and moves away slowly, image ingrained in his mind as he moves back towards his seat in that same robotic way.

He thinks he’s blacked out for a minute but in reality, his mind still hadn’t been able to process his death. He feels the hairs on his arms stand, in alert or shock, he doesn’t know.

Comes the time of the service, he stands next to his team and watches the casket lower to the ground. The sight of it has him feeling weirdly mushy inside, and he can feel the tremor building inside his body when it’s time to throw the flowers.

Jihoon does it quickly without much thought, and watches his yellow daffodil land a little off center. He steps back, legs shaking when the workers begin piling the dirt on the casket, and he keeps watching until the last bit of white disappears underneath muddy brown.

Throat tight, legs trembling, eyes heating up, he inhales deeply, shakily.

That’s it. He’s gone forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT’S NOT THE END, I PROMISE. IT’S NOT THE END. When you read the next chapter, you’ll realize why I wrote it this way :,) If anyone died a little inside when they read the ‘Seoul Funeral Services’, I’M SORRY. (I might add a few more chapters depending on how the next chapter goes)
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Y’all already know what’s coming.
> 
> Y’ALL 👏 ALREADY 👏 KNOW 👏 WHAT’S 👏 COMING 👏
> 
> Who does SVT think they are to release “Us, Again” without a warning??? Who do they think they are to make me cry when I first heard it? (I don’t usually cry when I listen to songs but that song is freaking beautiful.) TELL ME. They literally dropped it without a heads-up, and the lyrics being from the ends of the HTR episodes? Very clever. That little personal touch of their handwriting when they sing their parts just makes it so much more meaningful. Literally, they love Carats so much and I’m just like ― I HOPE YOU CAN FEEL OUR LOVE TOO?? WE LOVE YOU MORE?? WE DON’T DESERVE YOU BUT YOU STILL LOVE US??
> 
> Gonna get a little sappy now :,)
> 
> Words cannot express how much I love SVT and how grateful I am to have found them. When I listen back to their songs, I feel like they write a lot of them about us, about Carats ― Clap, Thanks, Home, Hug, etc...like, I feel like I’m gonna combust trying to express how amazing and deserving they are. I can’t ― I’m at a lost for words right now. I’m just so grateful for them and how they try so hard to comfort Carats.
> 
> I also can’t believe HTR is over. I feel like we’ve gotten to see many sides of the members throughout the episodes and the deeper relationship they have with each other, but I’m glad they can still find their own comfort with Carats and each other :) Speaking of which, I still need to catch up with my SVT member appreciation threads >< go check them out on my twt @mistehri
> 
> Also can we talk about the album bc I’m low-key kinda stupid. Like, are we supposed to buy ALL four albums in order to have all the members or what?? Is there different booklets for each version?? They really said Carats will self-produce too >< 
> 
> Ngl, I kind of like the idea of the album being DIY. I think it’s really creative and IF we do have to get all four albums to have all the members, I think that’s a good marketing strategy on Pledis’ side, though it’s straight up capitalism ;; my wallet will be crying. But IF it is that way, that might also help boost up our album sales considerably if we think about it. SVT WORLD DOMINATION.
> 
> So now that “Us, Again” is released, I don’t think I’ll be ready for their comeback >< I’ve already cried, I can’t expect myself to be okay when comeback comes. Ah, whatever, it’s okay. 
> 
> Seriously though, now that they’ve finished the HTR series and showered us endlessly with content and love, I hope this will give Carats motivation to stream and vote and whatnot. I really hope this comeback will be more successful that YMMDawn.
> 
> ALSO WE FINALLY GOT A LEADER LINE VLIVE ;; Honestly when both Hoon and Cheol looked at Soon when he spoiled something >< and when Soon laughed bc staff was looking at him in case he spoiled something. Thank you Kwon Spoiler. Also Cheol looks so happy <333
> 
> Whew, this a/n is a whole other chapter in itself but before you click off, I’ve been curious about what kinds of things you would like to see on my twt? I’ve fallen behind with the appreciation threads, and I’ve already been thinking of posting some of my old fics on there, so is there anything you guys would like to see me posting? lmk!
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> Like that, the air clears from the last of the tension as sighs of relief erupt from every corner of the room, then a small cheering following soon after.
> 
> Jihoon sinks down onto his knees with a strangled gasp, leaning forward and bowing his head until his forehead touches the cold floor. He lets himself cry, not caring how vulnerable or weak he looks in front of everyone, because in that moment, all he feels is relief.
> 
> He can hear his team cooing at him, hands rubbing up and down his back in comfort. He can also hear the soft chuckles of his mother, sounding simultaneously apologetic and endeared. 
> 
> “I’m sorry,” she says sincerely, bending down to raise Jihoon’s body up into a sitting position. She brushes the fringe out of his eyes and smiles, “You should know by now that we always give the bad news before the good news."


	35. Consolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consolation  
/ˌkänsəˈlāSH(ə)n/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the comfort received by a person after a loss or disappointment
> 
> 2\. a person or thing providing comfort to a person who has suffered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not really sure how disorders work or if they can be triggered by something, and I don’t mean to romanticize it, so just read with that in mind.
> 
> Also pay attention to timeline :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**SEOUL FUNERAL SERVICES **

**UNKNOWN **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongsan-gu

Jihoon sinks down onto his knees, legs unable to keep him up. Chest tightening, he struggles to take in air and breathe. He feels like he’s suffocating, the words on the tomb engrained on his mind, much like the body that had been lying in the coffin. No matter how hard he shuts his eyes, he can’t look away.

_In loving memory of Kwon Soonyoung_

_June 15, 1996 - June 15, 2019_

The surgery had failed, silver managing to slither in the deepest parts of Soonyoung’s body. His mother, the doctors, the nurses...they’d been unable to retrieve the silver, claiming that the last few bits they needed to collect had already been embedded into both Soonyoung’s heart and kidneys, and had already begun to work on shutting down the rest of his organs.

“If you’d been a few minutes earlier,” his mother had told him sorrowfully, “he would’ve made it."

Rather than hearing Soonyoung had died, especially on his birthday, it was those words that made Jihoon cry in anguish, body screaming at him to _stop the pain. _He remembers every cell in his body aching, limbs shutting down until he was sitting limply in the middle of the hospital hall. He faintly remembers the gasps of disbelief, or the whimpers from the younger espionages. 

He remembers not having the strength to cry anymore, all of it gone along with Soonyoung’s being.

He remembers locking himself in his hotel room as Namjoon and Seungcheol worked to organize plans for the completed mission. He’d heard knocks on the door, pleading for him to come out when he’d been stuck in the room for over a week. He remembers not having the energy to do anything. Just stare out the window, hoping, _praying _everything was just a stupid prank.

But it wasn’t.

Fast forward a month later and he’s here, kneeling in front of Soonyoung’s grave as everything begins to hit him all at once. 

He leans forward, tears dripping down his cheeks as he stares at the gravestone. His throat erupts with a whimper, which gradually turns louder, until his whimpers have turned into sobs. He lets it be loud and reckless, lets himself feel the pain of losing his mate. 

He pounds on the floor, yelling out nonsense as he bows his head, fists beginning to bruise with how hard he’s hitting.

“Why did you leave me?!” he screams, body burning with pain, pain, _pain. _”You said we’d get married! Why did you leave me?! You’re a liar, Kwon Soonyoung! A fucking liar! I hate you! I hate you so damn much!"

He vaguely feels arms wrap around him to pull him away, to prevent him from hurting himself in the midst of his anguish. The arms didn’t feel secure at all. Instead, they felt fuzzy, almost transparent, like he could easily get himself out of the hold if he wanted to.

He could vaguely hear voices in his ear, something about _calm down _and _Soonyoung wouldn’t want this _and everything he _doesn’t _want to hear. He feels like he’s underwater, unable to make out sentences let alone words, but out of all the sounds he’s heard so far, there’s a distinct voice that keeps calling out his name.

At first, he ignores it and continues to punch at the ground, heartbroken and angry all the same. He can’t imagine how he’d function now that the love of his life is gone just like that, no goodbye, no kiss, nothing. He thinks he wouldn’t mind just giving up. He can still be a person, living and breathing, but he won’t be _alive._

“...Jihoon..."

He doesn’t think he’d mind laying in his bed for a few hours, maybe even the whole day. He wouldn’t mind not moving, instead just staring out the window to look at the stars, because his alpha was a star himself. _Hoshi_, meaning star in Japanese. Jihoon’s star.

“...Jihoon...!"

At some point, Jihoon just loses himself in his own voice, throat hoarse and full of embarrassing cracks he’d be ashamed to hear on different circumstances. Not good for his possible future career as a producer, with Soonyoung, who’s supposed to be by his side as a choreographer. The ultimate power couple who could have shaken up the music industry like a hurricane.

“Jihoonie...up!"

He bows his head and curls in on himself, tears watering the ground like rain. He’s sure the sides of his hands are purple and bruised, maybe even bleeding, but he can’t bring himself to care. If Soonyoung were here now, he’d probably scold him endlessly, no doubt with a worried frown but nonetheless, he’d patch him up like he’d always done.

“...nightmare. Jihoonie...!"

When the hands reach out to grab him again, he lashes out, twisting his body around and slapping the insistent touches away. He yells, anything he can to express his anger, to tell everyone that he wants to be _alone. _

“...please. Woozi-yah...Jihoon..."

He channels every last bit of energy he has into his voice, and he can barely just hear himself saying _I should’ve been the one dead! _and _I don’t want to live anymore!_

“J-Jihoonie...please...wake..."

He has nothing to look forward to anymore. No slanted eye-smile to greet him when he wakes up the next morning. No cooing or aegyo to irritate him before he’s had his first cup of coffee. No hugs or kisses to shower him endlessly in love. No whispers of _I love you_ to hear before he goes to sleep. There’s nothing left for him anymore.

“I’m here...please...wake up...S-Soonyoungie’s here, kitten..."

_Soonyoungie...?_

Jihoon stops struggling for a moment and raises his head, turning to the source of the voice. It’s familiar, the name is familiar, the voice is too, so why is the face so blurry? And why is everything around them disappearing?

No matter how hard he squints or cranes his neck forward in an an attempt to get a better glimpse of the face, his vision remains just as blurry. Gradually, the face begins to get blurrier and blurrier, and it isn’t until Jihoon realizes the face is beginning to grow distant does he manage to speak properly.

“Where are you going...?” he whispers, crawling on his hands and knees in an effort to reach the face. 

His chest feels like dead weight, holding him down and draining the last bit of energy he’s been grasping onto. He moves terribly slow, and the face is beginning to disappear faster and faster.

“Wait...” he croaks, trying his hardest to catch up. His limbs refuse to cooperate. “Wait, please...! Don’t ― Don’t go! I ― Soonyoung...?"

“Jihoonie,” the voice croons, sounding so unfamiliar and familiar simultaneously. Like a simulation of Soonyoung’s voice. “Jihoonie, for every step you take back, you’re improving. If you let me do what I need to do, it’ll be okay..."

Jihoon stills at that, gears turning in his head when he remembers where those words came from. 

_“But,” Soonyoung says, smile turning impossibly gentler, “for every step you take back, I’m right there with you, Jihoonie. If you let me do what I need to do, I’ll come to you faster..."_

The blurry face seems to smile, but it’s getting smaller and smaller, and Jihoon _doesn’t understand. _It feels like he’s talking to Soonyoung but he knows it’s not. Soonyoung is _dead_, but Jihoon is an idiot for wanting to believe in something intangible to him.

”Why are you so far?” he questions, voice shaky. “Don’t leave me...where ― where are you going?"

The face seems to pause where it is, before it speaks, “You have to let me go, Jihoonie."

Jihoon’s eyes waver, mouth trembling when he realizes what’s happening. “No,” he croaks, crawling towards the face again. “No, I don’t want to ― I can’t..."

The face gets smaller. “You have to, Hoonie."

Jihoon tries his hardest to keep up pace but it seems like the more energy he puts into his movements, the slower he gets, and the heavier his limbs weigh him down. He watches in horror as the face becomes nothing but a pale dot before disappearing into thin air completely.

And the wisps of words floating in the air ring soundlessly through Jihoon’s ears:

_"Let_ _ me go, kitten."_

”NO! I don’t ― I can’t ― _SOONYOUNG!"_

_“WAKE UP!"_

Jihoon’s eyes shoot open, hot tears dripping from his eyes as he struggles to breathe. His chest constricts and heaves with every lungful of air he wrestles into his airways, mouth blabbering nonsense he can’t make out himself. His mouth is parted, lips chapped as he releases sobs after sobs. 

He writhes in the bed for a moment, feeling something restraining his wrists. There’s a weight sitting on his hips, holding him down much like what had happened in his nightmare. He twists and turns, feeling his heart pound with fear when he realizes he’s practically glued in place.

“Calm down...!” There’s a voice on top of him, sounding eerily familiar to the one from his nightmare. “Jihoonie, please...I’m here, okay? I’m alive. I’m here."

Jihoon can’t make out the face through his blurry vision, but he sees the _same _blurry face. Another choked sob escapes him.

“Why are you leaving me?” he cries, an ache flaring in his chest. “Don’t leave me!"

There’s a sniffle. “I’m not leaving you,” the same voice whispers. “Jihoonie, I’m not leaving you. It’s just a nightmare, okay? I’m here."

Jihoon feels a lump swell in his throat rapidly. “Why can’t I see you?” he wails, distressed when all he sees is the same blurry face. “I wanna see you, please...I can’t see you..."

Gentle thumbs brush away his waterfall of tears and when he blinks the next set threatening to spill over, the face begins to clear up into distinct facial features, and all he sees is Soonyoung. Soonyoung with a distraught expression and tears in his eyes. Soonyoung with shaking hands and a red nose. Soonyoung with a healthy complexion and his tangerine scent. Soonyoung, Soonyoung, _Soonyoung._

_Soonyoung..._

”Soon...” Jihoon croaks out, trying to determine if he’s still dreaming. “Soonyoung...? Are you ― Are you real?"

“I’m here,” soothes his alpha despite his own distress. “I’m okay, I’m real. I’m alive, okay? You just had a nightmare, kitten. Everything is okay."

Jihoon, not wanting to miss his opportunity, reaches out quickly for Soonyoung’s face. He feels his breaths turn into hiccups when he realizes he can touch squishy cheeks and full, pink lips. He grazes across wet eyes that flutter shut, the alpha leaning into his touch like he’s giving him some sort of reassurance. He twiddles with a lock of hair, feeling the soft texture beneath his fingertips.

He blinks away more tears as he lets his fingers travel downwards, carefully tilting his alpha’s neck and feeling emotional when he sees the healthy mark on his neck. Gone is the dullness, replaced by something more bold yet simple.

A whimper erupts from his throat when Soonyoung pulls away, but his alpha only shushes him softly.

“Watch,” he whispers firmly.

Still not really knowing if he’s dreaming or not, Jihoon watches restlessly as this real-or-not Soonyoung sits back on his feet, then swiftly grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head.

For a moment, Jihoon doesn’t know what the purpose of that was, but then he sees it.

Slicing right across Soonyoung's abdomen to his hip and colored a very faint pink is a mark Jihoon will never forget seeing. He’s seen it too many times already, from the battle where it had been bleeding constantly with no signs of stopping. He’s had that image practically ingrained in his memory now, traumatized.

And when Soonyoung had gotten treated and showed them his scar for the first time since his release from the hospital, that had also been ingrained in Jihoon’s mind.

Before, the scar served as a reminder of what could’ve happened to his alpha if they were to come just a minute later to the hospital. 

Now though, whenever he sees the scar healing like his had done, he only feels relief when he reminds himself that _Soonyoung survived._

”You’re real...” he whispers brokenly, fingers delicately tracing the scar. “You’re here. You’re okay. You’re...alive."

“I’m real,” Soonyoung repeats, clasping Jihoon’s fingers with his own. “I’m here. I’m okay. I’m alive."

Jihoon takes in another shaky inhale, heart still pounding erratically as he tries not to think about the nightmare again. He’s shaking so much, it’s concerning.

Ever since their mission had been completed successfully with tight strings being pulled, his trauma still has yet to go away. He feels as though every other day has just been filled with nightmare after nightmare. Filled with screaming in the middle of his slumber and thrashing about, unable to control his sudden haywire emotions.

But Soonyoung is there is wake him up from his fears every time, peppering soothing kisses on his face and chest rumbling into deep purrs. His tangerine pheromones fill the room completely, calming the omega down enough for him to realize that his alpha is alright and still breathing, no longer bloodied or lying in a hospital bed, that everything will be okay.

Jihoon feels Soonyoung lean down and gather him against his warm, comforting body. He nuzzles his nose into his alpha’s scent gland, breathing in deep lungfuls of tangerine as his alpha covers him completely with his body. 

Soonyoung’s chest is rumbling with a calming purr, and Jihoon feels him beginning to press gentle kisses into his hair, scenting him. 

He supposes this is the start of their journey to heal _together_. It’s a rocky start, of course it is, but there’s no doubt in his mind that they’ll be able to get through anything together now that they’ve overcome the worst.

“We’re gonna be okay, love,” whispers Soonyoung amidst their deep breathing. “Do you want your meds?"

Jihoon shakes his head, instead playing with the shorter hairs on the back of his alpha’s neck. 

“Can you...” he whispers instead, albeit a little shyly, “...make me forget?"

There’s a pause in the air when he feels Soonyoung pull away, his alpha craning his head back to look at him properly. Jihoon makes sure to hold eye contact despite his warm face, and although he knows that the both of them are probably still tired, he can’t help but want a distraction.

Soonyoung breathes a soft, “Okay, darling,” and leans in to press their lips together.

In that moment, Jihoon feels all the worries begin to dissipate into nothing but a lull in his mind, soothed by Soonyoung’s touch and scent. All his fears disappear in a flurry of gentle kisses and reassuring touches, and not long after, he forgets what’s happened.

He doesn’t want to remember anymore, but even that traumatizing moment has served a valuable lesson in his life. Before, he used to think that there was no purpose for all the meaningless things in life. 

Now though, he believes that everything happens for a reason, and he’s thankful Soonyoung is there with him to begin anew their journey of healing.

―

**BUSAN HOSPITAL**

**JULY 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongho-ro

Silence.

Jihoon feels all his airways close up as he struggles to breathe. Staggering backwards, he stumbles back into someone who catches him, but he can’t bring himself to care about who it is. He doesn’t look back either, eyes trained on his mother’s face which remains passive.

_“We were not able to retrieve all the silver in his bloodstream."_

_“We were not able to retrieve all the silver in his bloodstream."_

_“We were not able to retrieve all the silver in his bloodstream."_

He would’ve felt it. Surely, he would’ve felt it.

"But,” his mother begins with a smile, “we were able to retrieve about 97% of it. The remaining 3% will be healed by a specialized chemotherapy and the natural flushing of the body. He will also be needing a blood transfusion, but that is already taken care of. He will recover well."

Like that, the air clears from the last of the tension as sighs of relief erupt from every corner of the room, then a small cheering following soon after.

Jihoon sinks down onto his knees with a strangled gasp, leaning forward and bowing his head until his forehead touches the cold floor. He lets himself cry, not caring how vulnerable or weak he looks in front of everyone, because in that moment, all he feels is relief.

He can hear his team cooing at him, hands rubbing up and down his back in comfort. He can also hear the soft chuckles of his mother, sounding simultaneously apologetic and endeared. 

“I’m sorry,” she says sincerely, bending down to raise Jihoon’s body up into a sitting position. She brushes the fringe out of his eyes and smiles, “You should know by now that we always give the bad news before the good news."

Jihoon sniffles, “You couldn’t have made an exception for me?"

His mother laughs and shakes her head, pulling him up with her to stand. She turns to the group with a wary smile.

“We won’t be allowing visitors for Soonyoungie until tomorrow.” She side-eyes Jihoon. “Unfortunately, nobody is an exception to that, but you will be able to visit from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. everyday. There’s a hotel just a block away from here if you’d like to stay there overnight until tomorrow. Get some rest. We usually have limitations on the amount of people allowed to enter at a time but knowing Soonyoung, I’m sure he’s eager to see more than just two of you."

Patting Jihoon’s shoulder, she smiles and kisses his forehead. “Well, I have to go now and check up on some of my other patients. Don’t worry about the bills, okay? You have too much to worry about at your age."

“Thank you,” Jihoon says, leaning into her touch. “Thank you so much. I’ll pay you back when I can."

His mother clicks her tongue. “If you insist, I’m going tuxedo shopping with you for future references.”

“Eomma!"

Laughing, his mother winks at him. “No backsies,” she sings.

Minyoung grabs her hand and squeezes lightly. “Jihyae, thank you, really."

His mother smiles back, then bows her head. “It’s my pleasure,” she says. “Well, I’ll leave you all to it.” With that, she turns on her heel and briskly walks farther down the hall to attend to other patients.

With relief in their hearts and slumped shoulders, the chatter slowly begins to increase as everyone shares their joy with one another. It’s a mission accomplished indeed.

“Let’s tuck in for the night,” Seungcheol sighs, patting Jihoon’s shoulder twice. “We’ll rent a night at the hotel and visit tomorrow, okay? We all need to catch up with some rest."

Nodding, feeling the rest of his energy drain, Jihoon walks alongside the leader, feeling lighter now that he knows everything will be okay. 

And when he and his team wake up the next morning in better condition than they’ve been in so far, he can’t help when he feels his emotions go haywire. Part of him feels excited to see his mate again, and although his alpha may not be in his best condition at the moment, he’s alive and that’s all that matters.

“Keep in mind that he may be feeling very exhausted,” his mother reminds as she guides them down the hall to Soonyoung’s room. “We’ve already transfused blood into his system earlier today, so don’t be too concerned if he feels sluggish. Be mindful of your noise levels and if anything goes wrong, just press the button for a nurse."

“What about his chemotherapy?” Minyoung questions. 

“If you are planning to take him back to Seoul after his release, I will suggest him to a different doctor there. In addition to that, I will also be prescribing him medicine to speed up the process,” Jihyae informs, then turns to Jihoon. “Jihoon-ah, you may already know this, but it’s important that you spend a lot of time with Soonyoung during his healing process, seeing as you two have bonded. With the medicine, it’ll also help speed up the process."

Jihoon nods affirmatively. “Of course."

They come to a stop in front of the room, and his mother smiles. “You can go in now,” she says, nodding her head towards the door. “Remember everything I said."

With a deep inhale, Minyoung reaches for the doorknob and twists it, pushing the door open slightly and poking her head in.

“...eomma..."

Jihoon feels all the air in his lungs release upon hearing the voice. It’s raspy and hoarse, as though he hasn’t been talking in weeks, but it’s comforting all the same.

“You’re awake,” Minyoung breathes as she steps inside. “Thank the heavens."

Jihoon lets everyone pass before him and feels Seungkwan’s hand guide him in. When he looks up, the younger espionage is giving him a reassuring smile, as though he’s saying _it’s okay. You’ll both be okay._

When they step in the room, Seungkwan closing the door softly behind them, Jihoon feels his chest thrumming with emotion when he sees his alpha lying down in the hospital bed.

He looks almost as pale as the walls, his healthy complexion gone into an almost dull gray. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, which are sunken and half-lidded, exhausted. Hair strewn messily about, lips chapped, he definitely looks like he’s seen better days. Yet, Jihoon has never seen a more beautiful sight.

“How’re you feeling?” Minyoung questions softly, taking a seat next to the bed.

Soonyoung’s breath seems to stutter for a moment before he croaks, “Like shit."

Like that, the room’s atmosphere lightens as everyone chuckles quietly at the Soonyoung-like response. He truly never fails to make anyone’s day even if he isn’t at his best.

“Do you feel anything? Does it hurt?” Joshua asks next.

Soonyoung releases a tired sigh. “It...kind of hurts to eat...” he says breathily. “For the most part...I just feel tired."

“At least you’re recovering,” Minghao mumbles, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. “That means you can’t get out of giving us the free week you promised, remember?"

Soonyoung chuckles. “‘Course I remember. I mean...I kinda have to anyway.”

“And you have to get your ass beat by me once you recover,” Minkyung says adamantly, crossing her arms.

Everyone laughs, ignoring Minyoung’s scolding towards her daughter, but there’s a smile on her lips too.

“Can’t forget that either,” Soonyoung mumbles. His eyes roam lazily around the room before stopping at Jihoon. A lopsided smile curls on his lips. “Hey you."

“Hey you,” Jihoon echoes back, finally taking the seat closest to the alpha.

Reaching over, he intertwines their hands together and sighs, feeling the familiar shivers run up and down his body at the contact. For a moment, they don’t say anything, and Jihoon presses his lips against the side of Soonyoung’s hand, thumb gently stroking over his knuckles.

“You cried, didn’t you?"

Jihoon scoffs. “I didn’t."

Soonyoung’s smile widens, and he laughs quietly. “Liar."

For the rest of their visit, they don’t talk much in consideration for Soonyoung’s health. Some members come and go to use the bathroom or to grab a quick snack from the vending machine but for the most part, they come back and sit quietly, either on their phones or chattering amidst themselves. 

Their hands stay tied together, never once separating even when Soonyoung tries to convince Jihoon to get a snack himself, to which the omega refuses. 

“If you’re stuck here, I am too,” he told him stubbornly.

“Just admit you don’t want to let go and leave,” Soonyoung teased him back.

Of course, Jihoon doesn’t let go, that is until visiting hours have ended and his mother comes to remind them. By the end of their visit, Soonyoung already looks five times better than he did when they first came in.

“You can come visit him tomorrow again,” Jihyae says, stifling a laugh when she sees her son pouting in disapproval.

“Until tomorrow,” Soonyoung chuckles, squeezing Jihoon’s hand.

“Fine,” the omega laments, before swiftly turning Soonyoung’s hand around and sliding his ring on his finger where it should be. “Until tomorrow."

And Soonyoung smiles brightly at him, their rings clinking together with familiarity. “Love you."

Jihoon leans down and presses a lingering kiss on his forehead. “Love you more."

―

**SEOUL FUNERAL SERVICES**

**AUGUST 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yongsan-gu

Jihoon feels hands come up to support his waist, a gentle brush of lips against his left ear, and then a reassuring, “It’s not me, baby. It’s okay."

And so Jihoon sinks back into Soonyoung’s hold, eyes dripping with tears as his alpha turns him around to hug him close. He tucks his nose into Soonyoung’s neck, greedily inhales the sweet tangerine scent to calm down. 

When he looks back at where the casket is supposed to be, a flat tomb is already being placed on top.

_In memory of Song Daehyun_

_November 3, 1972 - June 19, 2019_

He wasn’t kidding about the PTSD, and he doesn’t think he’ll be okay for a few weeks. When he found out Daehyun had died, he couldn’t quite believe it either. According to the FBI and psychologists, Daehyun had apparently been suffering from a disorder his whole life, and it had been triggered by the death of his mate. He’d somehow managed to commit suicide in his cell back in the prison a week after their team had gotten to interrogate him. All the events leading up to now had also been a result of said disorder.

He feels Soonyoung gently turn his face back towards him, eyes soft and a gentle smile on his lips. Jihoon can just barely make out how bright it is through his blurry vision, but he gets the message all the same.

_Everything will be okay._

Soonyoung presses a kiss on his forehead and keeps him tucked against him until people begin to disperse and head inside to eat. He doesn’t let go, even when Seungcheol comes up and asks if they’d follow after, to which Soonyoung nods before politely requesting for the two of them to be alone.

It takes a few seconds for them to be completely alone together, save for a couple of doves flying nearby in a ‘v’ formation. Jihoon keeps his grip tight around his alpha, keeps his face pressed against his shoulder where his tangerine scent is most prominent. Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for a moment, only brushing his thumb repeatedly back and forth against the apple of Jihoon’s cheek.

When Jihoon calms down long enough for his tears to dry up, that’s when Soonyoung speaks up.

“I feel sorry for him,” he murmurs, clearly talking about Daehyun. “I think...if he hadn’t been so full of hatred for appa, it wouldn’t have to be this way. He could’ve gotten help but he chose it the hard way. I’m not familiar with disorders, but I think he would’ve been able to get better mentally."

Jihoon can’t quite bring himself to speak yet, but he agrees with Soonyoung wholeheartedly. If Daehyun’s mate hadn’t died during the accident, maybe none of this would’ve had to happen. Maybe Kyungsoon would’ve still be with Soonyoung and his family from the start. Maybe there wouldn’t have been a whole mission targeting Jihoon. Maybe everyone would’ve gotten the happy ending they wanted.

Soonyoung lets out a sigh and tucks his face into Jihoon’s neck. His words are soft, on the verge of cracking, when he says, “I’m just glad you’re okay."

Jihoon lets out a sound between a scoff and a laugh. “You’re the one who got stabbed,” he says wetly, unable to control his emotions. “You’re so weird, Soonyoung."

Pulling away, Soonyoung smiles at him, his own eyes wet but shining brightly. “I could care less about myself when you’re with me,” he says honestly, and the raw emotion in his voice has the waterworks gearing up in Jihoon’s eyes again. “I’ll always care about you more."

“That’s what makes you impulsive,” Jihoon says with a disapproving noise, shaking his head.

“I think my impulsiveness can get us to good places sometimes."

Jihoon raises an eyebrow with an unimpressed look, gently poking the spot where Soonyoung’s scar is. “Like what?"

Soonyoung smiles cheekily, swiftly grasping Jihoon’s hand and fiddling with the plastic ring on his finger. “Other than making love to you, of course, this ring wouldn’t be on your finger if I thought too much about getting it back in that gift shop."

Ears heating up, whether from the mention of sex or the ring, Jihoon swats Soonyoung away embarrassedly and hisses, “Not appropriate!"

Soonyoung catches his hand, cheeky smile growing wider as he intertwines their fingers together instead. “Am I wrong though?” he asks rhetorically. “Point is, we can finally get married."

At that, Jihoon falters, blush blossoming across his cheeks. It’s apparent that Soonyoung notices when he grins, and his alpha presses a kiss against his ring before pulling him towards him to press a kiss against his lips.

“So what do you think, Kwon Jihoon-ssi?” he asks teasingly, clearly loving how red Jihoon is turning.

“Idiot,” curses Jihoon, pulling away abruptly and walking in the direction of the eatery. “We’re not even engaged yet! Don’t call me a Kwon until one of us proposes, Lee Soonyoung!"

He can hear Soonyoung’s laughter behind him and doesn’t bother trying to hide the smile blooming across his face.

_Lee Soonyoung...it has a nice ring to it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHTY. 
> 
> This chapter was honestly a bit hard to write, especially the hospital scene because I’ve actually hit writer’s block several times and had to keep going back and forth trying to find inspiration. If you can tell, it is a bit rushed towards the ending of that scene only because I didn’t really wanna drag it out too long and make it boring.
> 
> And if it wasn’t really clear to you why Jihoon was crying, it’s because of the trauma he’d experienced when he saw Soonyoung get stabbed back in Nae-ri. Seeing Daehyun in that coffin made him think ‘what if Soonyoung was the one in there?’ and you can also see how the stabbing affected him when he had the nightmare .3.
> 
> SO MYMY.
> 
> Honestly, I can’t even trust them anymore. I wasn’t expecting the MV to drop so suddenly, like do y’all know how fast I clicked when I saw the notification? The song is honestly a bop and really gives me Oh! My vibes again :,) I couldn’t stop singing the bridge yesterday. Jihoon’s vocals...oh my god. And when Seungkwan showed up, he was literally glowing?? How is that possible?
> 
> AND DINO HAS SO MANY LINES OH MY GOD I’M CRYING??
> 
> Whew. Anyway. I always knew twt was toxic but I didn’t know just how much. TT There’s so many fanwars especially with fans adjusting to the new merging of the companies.
> 
> Don’t forget to vote Coups best leader on Idol Champ. It’s literally just a 0.3% difference between us and first place. We said we’d do better this comeback so let’s start practicing what we preach ><
> 
> ALSO OF COURSE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR TIGER PRINCE, AND HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO OUR PRINCE OF CHINA ><
> 
> Can I just say that Hoshi looks buffer in the soccer episodes?? I love the hairstyle on him, like it’s not really black? It has like a blue tinge to it? Idk, he just looks handsome ><
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?” snorts Soonyoung, peppering butterfly kisses alongside the column of Jihoon’s neck. “Come on. Let’s do something. I’ve stayed in bed long enough."
> 
> “Then go,” Jihoon grumbles, tone unpleasant. “I’m still recharging."
> 
> He hears Soonyoung sigh, his alpha getting off him and leaving him cold amidst the cooling air conditioner. “Wake up, kitten,” he says with a subtle warning tone. “I want us to go somewhere today. You’ll like it, I promise."
> 
> That’s something Jihoon has been noticing happening a lot as of late, Soonyoung saying I promise. You’d think he’ll dismiss something that sounds so casual and, well, to normal people who haven’t been through hell and back, it might just seem like an empty saying. 
> 
> However, he knows enough and has been through enough to know that those simple words have been acting as some sort of holy grail in their relationship. Nearly every one of their objectives during their recent Nae-ri mission has been pursued by promises, serious or not. If you ask him to count how many times he’s been promised something during just the span of the mission, he wouldn’t be able to count with only his fingers.


	36. Cessation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cessation  
/seˈsāSH(ə)n/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. the fact or process of ending or being brought to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, this update was soooooo late and I’m so sorry for that. I’ve been busy with streaming and collecting as many votes as I can for the comeback ‘cause we’re really getting a run for our money with the other groups >< So to make up, here’s an extra long chapter!
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**CONDO **

**SEPTEMBER 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

For the past month they’ve been recovering, their schedule has just been full of finishing up the last of the routine work and getting themselves back on their feet. Phone calls to families and construction companies were made, and meetings with FBI’s and detectives were also made to attend to prisoners whose punishments have yet to be determined. 

Had their schedules consisted of constant missions and endless preparations, one after the other, they might as well have been dead by now.

The last two weeks have been rather sublime for the most part, and Jihoon makes sure to use his time wisely and enjoy it. If there’s one thing he knows, it’s that time doesn’t stop for anyone. They won’t ever catch a break.

By “using time wisely,” Jihoon is actually spending his rest days by sleeping in and being the lazy couch potato he’s always been. He’s always been a heavy sleeper, even before their mission had been successful. He likes to think this time is used to catch up with his sleep schedule when in reality, it’s just him not wanting to do shit and caring less about what’s going on with the rest of the world.

So here he is spending his time wisely, sleeping the late afternoon away in a deep slumber. He’s cuddled close to his favorite warm spot and surprisingly comfortable makeshift pillow, a.k.a Soonyoung’s chest. Their limbs are entangled messily in strewn sheets, hands loosely clasped together as the lethargy seeps into every bone of his body to sing him back to sleep.

Until it doesn’t, because he can never catch a break.

At first, it’s too soft for him to decipher what’s pressing against his skin. It’s a soft pressure of _something _against his eyelids, gentle but fleeting and just enough for him to know something had touched him. Scrunching his face, he turns his head a little to get rid of the tingling on his eyelids and gets himself comfortable again, sighing out a little.

Then it comes back not even two seconds later, this time on his temple.

With a grunt, he pushes Soonyoung’s face away and pats his lips blindly. “Soonie, stop it. I’m _tired.” _

“We’ve been here since yesterday, baby,” comes Soonyoung’s voice, husky from disuse. “It’s already 12 p.m. and you’re still sleeping? A little birdy says we should do one productive thing daily."

Jihoon groans against Soonyoung’s skin, “No birdy has said that. You’re pulling shit out of your ass to get me to move. ‘sides, we’re cuddling now, so I’d say that’s productive."

“Baby, that’s not how it works ― "

“Internet says skin-to-skin contact with your mate has proven to decrease heart problems and a number of diseases, y’know?” mumbles Jihoon, not even understanding what he’s trying to say himself. “So, like...that’s a good thing ‘cause, like, our hearts can just go _baddum baddum baddum _together. We can literally just stay here like this the whole day...no moving."

Even with the grand spiel he’s exerted a great effort into saying, Soonyoung only laughs at him and slips from underneath him. Annoyed, he doesn’t stop himself when a whine erupts from his throat, not liking that his warm heat and makeshift pillow decided to leave him. 

He grunts when he feels Soonyoung roll him over so he’s lying belly down against the sheets, and he grunts again when his alpha drapes himself over his backside. A nose nuzzles lovingly behind his left ear, then a soft kiss.

“You’re just a little ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” Soonyoung coos, beginning to pepper butterfly kisses alongside the column of Jihoon’s neck. “Internet says that spending time with your mate _while _doing something _actually _productive has been proven to decrease health problems."

“You’re making shit up now."

Jihoon hears his alpha laugh and mutter, “Like you weren’t?” before he’s being rolled onto his back. “Come on, kitten. Wake up.” A kiss. “I want us to go somewhere today. You’ll like it, I promise."

That’s something Jihoon had been noticing happening a lot as of late, Soonyoung saying _I promise. _You’d think he’d dismiss something that sounds so casual, and to normal people who haven’t been dragged through hell and back, it might just seem like an empty saying.

But he knows enough and has _been _through enough to know that those simple words have been acting as some sort of holy grail in their relationship. Nearly every one of there objectives during their recent Nae-ri mission had been pursued by promises, the motivation to fulfill them. If you ask him to count how many times he’d been promised something during just the span of the mission, he wouldn’t be able to tell you with just his fingers.

He supposes hearing those words brings a sense of dissonance in him. On one hand, he’s relieved to hear those words, because no matter how many times Soonyoung has shut him off or has told him otherwise, it reassures him, like his alpha keeps implying _it’s not over yet. _**_We’re _**_not over yet._

On the other hand, a sense of dread overcomes him just as much as relief. Dread, because promises can be broken too easily if you aren’t careful. Promises are fragile statements, like glass. They’re either kept in a true act of determination or a false sense of hope.

And maybe it’s also because Soonyoung has yet to fulfill said promises.

Now Jihoon knows he’s an impatient man. He doesn’t like beating around the bush and that was already evident when he’d confronted Soonyoung about their broken relationship back in Jecheon. He doesn’t like sugarcoating anything either and can easily lose his temper when his patience starts treading on thin ice. 

So when he hears the words _I promise _slip from Soonyoung’s lips casually, he can’t help but let his mind wander.

Maybe he’s moving too fast or maybe he’s just a tad bit eager, but it’s been almost two months since they’ve said their wedding vows.

Fake wedding vows, in the midst of a war going on in the background.

If Jihoon wasn’t so bothered by the fact that they aren’t _actually _engaged, he would’ve looked back at the memory and found it quite comical. He’s not going to lie ― if he hadn’t been feeling so sluggish lately, he definitely would’ve driven to the mall impulsively to get them both _actual _engagement rings, shove one on Soonyoung’s finger and the other on his, and call it a day.

But with each day that comes and goes, he’s beginning to feel a little doubtful.

Maybe everything they’ve said to each other had been on the whim, on impulsive. After all, their words had only been in the heat of the moment, bloomed from fear of losing each other and never having the chance to say such words again. 

After reflecting with Soonyoung during their times of healing and recalling all the events that had happened, they’d both acknowledged the fact that they’re both just as stubborn as each other and impulsive all the same. In terms of their bad traits, they’re just as horrible as each other, no superiority or inferiority.

So maybe it’s just Jihoon being impulsive again, but it’s beginning to clash with his insecurity.

_If Soonyoung hadn’t been stabbed, maybe we wouldn’t have said those things to each other,_ he thinks to himself, feeling far away from reality. _Is there even a right or wrong time to say those things?_

”Jihoonie."

Jihoon groans loudly, making sure his displeasure is known as he reaches over and grabs the corner of the blanket. Pulling it over himself, he wraps himself in a loose but comfortable burrito and hears Soonyoung sigh. He inwardly smiles, hoping his alpha would get the message and leave him alone.

“Jihoon, I am going to count to three. If you’re not up by then, I will take _drastic _measures."

Groaning louder, Jihoon kicks his feet a little childishly. “Oh my god, you’re so annoying."

“One."

He doesn’t bother moving. He’ll use up the rest of the two seconds to just close his eyes.

“Two."

On second thought, he doesn’t. Peeking an eye open and gazing up into the little slit from the top, he catches Soonyoung looking down at him expectantly, an eyebrow raised as he crosses his arms as if to say _are you challenging me?_ Answer: yes.

“...two and a half."

He watches Soonyoung lean down a little, and can feel the barest of his hand brushing across the blanket and gently pressing against his side. Not wanting to give a reacting, he refrains from moving away and bites down on his bottom lip to prevent a smile from breaking out. 

“...two and three quarters..."

He can feel Soonyoung’s hand curling around the blanket by his waist, effectively grabbing onto his side with a gentle pressure. A laugh threatens to spill out of his lips, and he knows Soonyoung can see his struggle when his alpha grins knowingly.

“Three ― "

“Okay! Okay, fine! I’m up!” Jihoon exclaims with a half-assed glare and disgruntled expression. Sitting up, he bats Soonyoung’s hand away and grumbles, “Now go away. I swear, Soonyoung, you better have a good reason to be waking me up, or to hell with it, I am going to return Kwon Yongmaeng back to whatever store you got her from."

Soonyoung lets out a gasp upon the mention of his stuffed tiger daughter. “You better not,” he huffs, before straightening himself out and heading towards the door. “Whatever. Now get up and get dressed. I’m gonna make breakfast. You’ll like the surprise, I swear."

Jihoon holds eye contact with Soonyoung as his alpha leaves the door, acting as though he’s finally, _finally _getting out of the bed. When Soonyoung disappears out the door, he pauses and waits for a moment, then two, then promptly flops his body back onto the bed and closes his eyes.

_Just five more minutes, _he thinks contently, curling deeper into the comfort of their sheets. _Five minutes, that’s it._

”Lee Jihoon! I swear to god, if you went back to sleep, I’m gonna drag you out of that damn bed myself!"

He can never catch a break.

―

**TIMES SQUARE MALL**

**SEPTEMBER 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yeongdeungpu-gu

When they pull up at the mall Soonyoung drives them too, Jihoon almost groans out loud at the sight. Sinking into the seat, he stares at the onslaught of people walking to and fro the parking lot and mall, bustling and busy and everything that makes the introvert inside him cower.

You’d think just because he deals with people daily in the industry that he’d be less salty about this.

“Out of all the malls in Seoul..._all _the malls...you chose Times Square."

He hears Soonyoung laugh as he pulls up into a parking lot and removes his key from the ignition. “What about it? Would you rather we go to COEX instead?"

The introvert inside Jihoon dies a little at the thought. Considering COEX usually has more people, he can’t imagine the amount of _walking _they’d have to do. It makes him wonder what exactly Soonyoung wants to buy for them to go to one of the biggest malls in Korea.

“Never mind,” he mutters. “Whatever, let’s just get this over with."

He ignores Soonyoung’s quiet laugh as he opens the door and gets out. Walking round the car to meet up with the alpha on the other side, he fixes his hair quickly and lets Soonyoung wrap his arm around his shoulder. The alpha locks the car quickly before they’re on their way to Jihoon’s impending doom.

“So,” he starts, wrapping an arm around Soonyoung’s waist as they cross the crosswalk. “What are we doing here that made you think it was a good idea to bring me along? You know I hate crowds."

He feels a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. “That’s a surprise, kitten,” Soonyoung answers cryptically, only further annoying Jihoon. He could’ve been sleeping right now. “I promise you’ll like it though, but you’re either gonna punch me in the gut or cry. I’m really liking the latter option."

Jihoon scowls up at him and pinches his side, pleased when his alpha yelps and jerks at the abrupt gesture. “I’d prefer not to, thanks."

Soonyoung flicks his cheek gently but otherwise doesn’t say anything as they head inside the large building.

Much to Jihoon’s dismay and absolute horror, the inside is packed to the brim with tons of people. He wants to cower away, maybe even steal Soonyoung’s keys and his car and go back home to sleep in their bed, but he knows that if Soonyoung is this excited to go shopping, he might as well try and enjoy the ride. 

As if catching onto his instincts to run and flee, Soonyoung’s hand tightens around his shoulder as the alpha guides him through the crowd. Jihoon scuffs his feet on the ground in response, bitter. He may be acting childish now but Soonyoung should be expecting this.

“Maybe some food will appease His Highness,” Soonyoung muses upon seeing Jihoon’s reaction. He pulls his phone and checks the time. “It’s 1 o’clock. You wanna grab something to eat?"

“Cola."

Shaking his head, Soonyoung sighs fondly. “I guess your cola addiction never changed either, I’m afraid."

Jihoon sticks his tongue out in response.

They find the food court after almost ten minutes of walking, and Jihoon’s stomach is already growling in response by the time they make it there. When they _do _get there, he almost has to do a double take when he realize the amount of people have seemed to double in size compared to outside of the food court.

“Ugh,” he groans, looking around at the onslaught of people. “Finding a table is gonna be such a pain in the ass."

Soonyoung only nods in agreement, eyes scanning the scene. “Why don’t you order something for the both of us and I’ll find a table?” he suggests. “I think that’ll be faster."

Jihoon hums, “What do you want?"

“Nothing spicy,” pleads Soonyoung. Amidst the bustling crowd, he mutters, “I’ll get constipation.” He digs into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet, handing it over to Jihoon. “Here."

Snorting, Jihoon mutters, “What, you’re my sugar daddy now?"

From his peripheral vision, he can see an elderly couple giving them both stink eyes but nonetheless, he takes the wallet and pockets it.

“Did you bring your wallet?” Soonyoung laughs upon seeing the reaction. “I can be your sugar daddy if you want to, baby. Who knows? Maybe that’ll be our lives after we’re done here."

“if I had known we were gonna go to the mall today, I would’ve brought it,” Jihoon grumbles, cheeks blooming a lovely red. “And shut up, pervert. Absolutely not.” He nearly stumbles on his words, opting to shove Soonyoung in the direction of the tables instead. “Just...go find a table already, idiot!"

Scowling at Soonyoung’s air kiss, he watches the alpha navigate his way through the tables and chairs in search of a seat. Meanwhile, he looks around at all the restaurant logos before starting on his venture to find something decent to eat. So long as there’s cola, he’ll eat anything.

When he passes by Mexican food restaurants and Italian food restaurants, however, he decides he isn’t craving for anything too fancy. He had a little craving for rice earlier but when he sees a little Japanese ramen restaurant, his feet begin moving on their own. Soon enough, he’s gazing up at the menu in search of something to order.

_Shoyu ramen, _he thinks distantly, absentmindedly rubbing his tummy when he feels it growl in response. _Maybe udon for Soonie? Or kimchi ramen? He likes Japanese food so maybe the kimchi udon?_

”What do you want, baby?” he mutters under his breath as he scans the different options. 

“Oh, congratulations!"

Blinking, snapping out of his thoughts momentarily, he turns his head and finds a girl, most likely in here teens, smiling sweetly at him. 

Confused, not entirely sure she’s talking to him, he turns his head behind him and finds nobody. Turning back around, he tilts his head and points at himself, and questions, “I’m sorry?"

The girl gestures towards his hand. “Are you pregnant? Sorry, I just overheard you saying ‘baby’ and I assumed you were."

Blinking again, mouth dropping into an ‘o,’ Jihoon waves his hands around frantically and chuckles a bit, “Oh, it’s not like that. I’m not pregnant, sorry. I was just referring to my...” _fiancé, _”...boyfriend."

He doesn’t know what exactly he’s apologizing for: the fact that the girl mistook him as a pregnant omega male, or the fact that he let her down despite them being complete strangers. He doesn’t know whether to be offended or just uncomfortable.

Turning a brilliant red faster than he’s ever seen anyone turn, the girls bows a full 90 degrees and apologizes frantically, “Oh, I’m so sorry! I just thought ― ugh, I’m sorry. Me and my big mouth sometimes. I swear, I didn’t think you were pregnant until you said something and I just assumed...you look great, I mean!” She pauses, then shakes her head vigorously. “Not fat, but ― not that pregnant women or men are fat ― I’m not insulting them, but..."

She seems to fidget in place for a moment, mouth open to speak before she promptly squeaks, spins on her heel and runs away.

Jihoon, startled at the sudden motion, can only watch her running figure until she begins to blend into the crowd.

_I guess not everyone can live normal lives, _he thinks with a forlorn sigh, turning back to the menu. _Not even a girl like her. _Finalizing his order in his head, he decides it’s time to walk up to the counter.

He dips his head a little in acknowledgement towards the worker, eyes trained on the menu as he says, “One shoyu ramen, one kimchi udon, and a large cola, please. For here."

“₩17,000,” the worker responds, eyes drooping as he takes the money Jihoon hands over. He cashes it in, and when he gives the receipt, he questions, “You eatin’ those by yourself?"

The question catches Jihoon off guard, mostly because the transactions are usually quick and simple, with little to no words to exchange with the workers. He hadn’t been expecting to make small talk but he assumes he might as well use some sort of distraction to make the time pass by quicker.

“Uh, no,” he answers, albeit hesitant. “It’s for me and my fian ― “ _Oh my god, Jihoon, shut up. _”Errr...my boyfriend, I mean."

“Ah, is that so?” For some reason, the worker seems a bit disappointed. “Well, I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I should’ve known someone as cute as you is already taken."

The last statement has Jihoon’s eyes shooting up in surprise, instincts automatically telling him to be cautious. If he knew the worker would be hitting on him, he would’ve ordered from that other Japanese restaurant just across from this one. He’d assumed the guy just wanted to make friendly talk, not...flirting.

“Um...” he says awkwardly, unsure of what to say. “Thanks?"

The worker shrugs, writing down his order on a piece of paper and sliding it into the little window leading towards the kitchen. He doesn’t say anything then, but then he comes back to the counter and leans forward on his forearms, tilting his head at Jihoon.

“It’s okay. You can’t help it and neither can I,” he says, and Jihoon is now officially weirded out.

_O...kay...creep, _he thinks, sense tingling and body making sure he’s ready to flee if needed. _First, the girl who thought I was pregnant, and now this...passive-aggressive pervert. What the hell is going on? _

“Um,” he utters again, shifting from foot to foot. “I have a boy ― "

“Do you want my number?” the worker questions abruptly, already reaching for a napkin and a pen. “I can give you my number. We can talk or something. Hang out, you know? Get to know each other, and then..."

Jihoon purses his lips at the implication and crosses his arms. “No, it’s okay,” he says firmly. “I’m just here to order food, okay? Nothing more. I have a boyfriend already and I’d appreciate if you can respect both me and him."

The worker, who Jihoon now knows is named Hwan Jungsoon from his name tag, holds his hands up in mock surrender, further irritating Jihoon. He just wants to feed his growing appetite, not deal with an immature prepubescent teen boy who can’t follow work policy. If he were more confrontational, he’d call for a manager, but he knows that it’ll turn into an eve bigger mess with the boy’s attitude and unwillingness to learn common courtesy.

Although Soonyoung had assured him that he’d like coming here for whatever reason he’d insisted, Jihoon is beginning to think everything is starting to become a fork in the road. Things are only starting to snowball from here.

“I’m just saying,” Jungsoon defends. “If you’re bored or whatever, you know my offer still stands."

Jihoon blatantly rolls his eyes and begins shifting side to side impatiently. “My order,” he grits out. “Trust me, you do not want to be involved with me. I have enough shit to deal with as is."

“Then why ain’t your boyfriend doing something ‘bout it, huh?” Jungsoon retorts snootily. “Some boyfriend he is. I’d help you through shit, y’know?"

Jihoon’s short temper is beginning to thin out, and there’s no doubt that Soonyoung can feel what he’s feeling right now. He morbidly wishes he has some sort of butter knife to threaten Jungsoon with, not enough to bleed but _just _enough to scratch the very surface of his skin.

Glancing at the name tag again, he mentally stores the name in the back of his mind for later. Nothing too bad, he swears. Just a phone call to management and a potential loss of an employee. 

Just as he’s about to retort, he spots two bowls sitting atop a tray being slid from the kitchen window, and he clears his throat pointedly, “My order."

Jungsoon gives him a pointed, lopsided smirk before turning around to add chopsticks to both bowls. Jihoon watches him grab a large cup from the stacked cups off to the side next to the drink machine and fills it with cola. 

When Jungsoon turns around to put the cola on the tray, Jihoon vaguely sees him write something on the cup. Next thing he knows, Jungsoon is sliding the tray towards him with a wink.

“For the pretty."

Peeved, Jihoon grabs the tray and grumbles a curt, “Thanks,” before spinning on his heel and walking away with looking back. 

Navigating through the crowd and trying to prevent any spilling mishaps to happen ― along with any other unusual incidents to ruin his day ― he finds Soonyoung sitting down against a split wall in a booth with a phone held to his ear. He feels all the stress from earlier dissipate into relief at the sight, and he internally hopes nothing else happens on the short trip back.

Carefully, he walks towards the booth and sets the tray on the table, opting to sit opposite from Soonyoung when he sees his alpha’s arm outstretched, fingers jerking towards him twice as an indication to _come here. _He’s not focused on Jihoon but rather, looking at the two soup bowls with interest, though the omega can feel his curiosity from the earlier situations.

“...them undergo the extensive training program,” Soonyoung is muttering when Jihoon tucks himself under his arm. “We can’t trust them until they’re willing to prove themselves...yes, the five year program."

Jihoon feels Soonyoung cup his name, his alpha guiding his head towards his neck where his scent gland is located. Normally, he would refuse any sort of public affection, but seeing as his day isn’t going how he wants it to be, he lets himself be guided, inhaling lungfuls of tangerine until he feels his limbs go lax.

“Well, if you’re that cautious about it, take it up with Coups-hyung and see what he thinks. If not him, then RM-hyung,” continues Soonyoung, gently massaging the sides of Jihoon’s neck. “Yeah, okay...mhm, yeah, he’s with me...no, we’re not ― just...no ― we’re not! Whatever, bye, I’m hanging up, brat."

Jihoon waits for him to hang up before asking, “Who was that?"

“Junnie,” replies Soonyoung with a sigh, lowering his voice drastically and placing his lips by Jihoon’s ear. “Two of the prisoners wanna switch sides, and since he and Gyu are in charge of monitoring the cells this week until we’ve got them sorted out, I told them they’ll need to go through the training program we have. Can’t trust rogues ’til they’ve proven themselves."

“Shouldn’t be trusting them in the first place,” Jihoon mutters.

Soonyoung gives him a lopsided grin and a fleeting kiss to his temple before reaching over and breaking apart a pair of chopsticks. “Anyway, what’s got you so worked up?” he questions, instantly reaching for the kimchi udon. “This one is mine, right?"

Sighing, Jihoon nods and reaches for his own pair of chopsticks to break. “Some random girl thought I was pregnant ‘cause I was rubbing my stomach.” He makes sure to specifically exclude the _baby _part. No need to get Soonyoung’s inflated ego more inflated. “I don’t know. I felt awkward about it ‘cause I was only hungry. I guess it was kinda weird but she ran away when she tried to apologize."

Soonyoung snorts unhelpfully, accidentally causing droplets of soup he’s blowing on to fly onto the table. “Shouldn’t told her you were so it wouldn’t make such a fuss."

Jihoon scowls and smacks his shoulder. “I’ll say I’m pregnant when you get me pregnant,” he grumbles, cheeks blossoming pink when he hears Soonyoung mutter, _“When, huh?”_ Clearing his throat, he continues, “Anyway, not the point. I went to order, right? And, like, I was gonna wait for it like usual but then the worker, like...he started hitting on me ― "

The soup that Soonyoung had been slurping on nearly goes back to spraying onto the table as he chokes upon hearing the words.

Slapping a hand over his mouth, Jihoon bites down hard on his lip to prevent his laughter from spilling out. From his peripheral vision, he can see some people turned their heads to look at the alpha with concern but he avoids their eyes, half embarrassed and half amused. 

He watches Soonyoung make a grab for the cola, the alpha shoving the straw in his mouth and gulping frantically until he’s no longer hacking out a lung. Maybe he should’ve considered not telling Soonyoung when he was eating.

“The worker what?” speaks Soonyoung coarsely, almost gasping for breath as his eyes narrow at Jihoon. “He did _what?"_

”I said what I said,” Jihoon responds, fondly brushing away the soup that had dribbled down Soonyoung’s chin with a napkin. “He tried flirting with me."

“He flirted with you,” Soonyoung repeats flatly, eyes flashing when he looks at the logo on the cup. “So...you ordered from Heirloom Udon, huh?"

Jihoon rolls his eyes. He can already see where this is going, and frankly, he’s more amused than worried. 

“Soonie,” he reprimands gently, flicking his shoulder to gain his attention. “Don’t make a scene. Just ‘cause we’re not working doesn’t mean you should _make _more work for us. I really don’t wanna deal with anything or anyone else today. You said I’d like coming here today. Also, here.” He hands Soonyoung his wallet back.

Soonyoung only gives him an innocent look while he pockets the item. “You will, love. I was just wondering where you got this amazing kimchi udon from,” he says cutely. “I should go and give them my most sincerest compliments when we’re done, shouldn’t I?"

Sighing, knowing there’s no stopping his alpha when he’s determined, Jihoon grumbles, “If you’re gonna go talk to him, do it after we eat, please. You’re dealing with whatever shit is thrown at you alone, just so you know."

Looking satisfied, Soonyoung just giggles and goes back to slurping on his udon with a glint in his eye.

They don’t talk much when they eat. They never did. What once was bickering and arguing over the simplest things is now a sense of serenity between them. Jihoon can feel the calmness flooding every corner of his heart as they soak up each other’s presence like a sponge.

He finds it quite comical actually, how he and Soonyoung would always find the time to fight over anything and everything, trying their hardest to outdo the other and blame each other when it was their own faults to begin with. It was like a never-ending cycle, a routine layout that the both of them would follow without say. Even when they had taken a break, it was always like they knew each other through and through. They’ve never really _stopped _understanding each other in the first place.

Now here they are, mindlessly eating their meals as though the last two months haven’t been dragging them to hell and back. Jihoon will admit, everything was tough from start to finish, from where he almost cried about the fact that Soonyoung and his team would be joining the mission, to when he _did _cry because he almost lost his mate. 

He’s immensely satisfied that everything came full circle. He thinks it’s crazy to think that if it hadn’t been for Soonyoung offering his laptop back in Jecheon, they wouldn’t be in the position they’re in now.

Snapping out of his thoughts when he hears Soonyoung’s satisfied sigh ― the alpha having finished his bowl of kimchi udon ― he picks up his bowl and drinks the rest of his remaining soup, wiping his mouth with a napkin after. Reaching out, he grabs the cola and takes a few sips ― more like gulps ― from it, and hands it over to Soonyoung.

He’s cleaning up their table and wiping away the crumbs when he hears his alpha start choking again, almost violently pulling the cup away from his mouth. 

“What the hell is up with you?” Jihoon sighs fondly as he reaches for another napkin to wipe Soonyoung’s mouth. “You might end up going back to the hospital at this rate."

Soonyoung raises the cup and squints at whatever is on the bottom, then slams it back down on the table with a displeased grunt. It startles the few people sitting next to them, and Jihoon can only dip his head in apology this time, also confused.

From what he can see, Soonyoung’s eyes had turned just a tint darker, and his lips are pulled down into a scowl.

“He gave you his _number?” _his alpha hisses. 

Frowning, Jihoon grabs the cup and turns it in his hand. His eyes automatically zero on the ten digits scrawled messily on the bottom, tiny but legible, and the small note is enough for him to know what’s wrong ― there’s a winky face written at the end.

“I didn’t know,” he shrugs, not exactly knowing what to say. “I just left as fast as I could because I got uncomfortable."

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for a long moment, staring darkly at the cup with a contemplative look on his face, but it’s enough for Jihoon to know what he’s thinking about. News flash: it probably will end with the worker shitting his pants.

“I’ll return the plates,” Soonyoung says, voice deathly calm but with a hint of bitter sweetness to it. “I think I should tip him, right?"

Jihoon sighs, but even he knows there’s no use in stopping the alpha. “Soonie, don’t do anything that’ll expose us. I really don’t want to be nagged by Cheol. _Again."_

Stacking the plates on the tray and grabbing the cup, Soonyoung only gives him a sweet smile.

“I’ll be generous,” is what he says, before he leaves swiftly.

Shaking his head, Jihoon pushes his chair in before trailing after the alpha quietly, shoving his hands in his hoodie. Eyeing Soonyoung from afar as he waits in front of the tables, he sees him stalking up right to the counter with a friendly smile, which is anything _but _friendly.

Amused, he watches Jungsoon attend to him with that typical practiced work expression, straight-faced but eyes drooping.

For a moment, it looks like they’re talking casually when Soonyoung slides the tray over. The alpha’s expression is controlled perfectly, each movement calculated even when he slams the empty cup down quite loudly. Jihoon watches him lean close, muttering something into Jungsoon’s ear that has the worker's eyes widening and his feet moving back like he’s on autopilot.

Crossing his arms, Jihoon watches Jungsoon’s hands shake as he fills another cup with cola and slides it towards Soonyoung with a 90 degree bow.

They talk ― or more like Soonyoung talks ― before the alpha takes the cup, spins on his heel and walks away, and that’s Jihoon’s cue to move. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jungsoon running into the kitchen frantically, and can only imagine what his alpha said to make him so nervous.

Catching up with Soonyoung, he tucks himself under his arm again and questions, “What did you tell him?"

Soonyoung only grins. “Only what he needed to know. Now come on. It’s almost 3 o’clock and the shop I want to go to closes at 5."

―

**TIMES SQUARE MALL - DIAMOND JEWELRY SHOP**

**SEPTEMBER 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Yeongdeungpu-gu

When Jihoon looks up at the sign to see what shop Soonyoung had led him to, his feet automatically stop on their own. For a moment, he stares at the sign, not quite sure if they’re at the correct place. Unsure of what to say, he doesn’t move and can feel his heart pounding up in his throat.

Soonyoung nudges him forward on the small of his back, nodding his head towards the door. “We’re here."

Jihoon looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. “What are we doing here? You wanna go in there?” he questions. “What are you getting from here?"

Smiling, Soonyoung answers, “Junnie asked me to check the price for the necklace he’s planning on getting for Hao. Their third anniversary is coming up soon and he wants to make sure he has enough money to buy it."

_O...kay...?_

“Okay,” Jihoon repeats slowly, turning his head to eye the inside of the shop through the large glass windows. “I thought Hao doesn’t like celebrating their anniversaries? Is he planning on getting Junnie something too?"

Soonyoung guides him forward and opens the door. “He doesn’t but Junnie does,” he says. “Hao doesn’t trust me but he told me he’s thinking of buying Junnie some sort of Chinese bracelet, so jokes on him, I haven’t told anyone."

“You told me."

Soonyoung smiles cheekily at him. “I trust you."

_Oh._

Feeling warm and fuzzy at the simple yet powerful statement, Jihoon hesitantly steps inside and onto the burgundy carpet floor. He can immediately sense the change of atmosphere, a lot quieter than where they were just a few seconds ago. An intimidating kind of quiet. He already feels a little out of place.

Other than them, there’s only one other customer looking through the glass cases, and two clerks stationed at different areas of the shop. One of them is helping the customer and seemingly telling her about the different types of jewels through a handbook, and the other clerk is just putting down the phone at the register.

He stands around awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do with himself even as Soonyoung walks confidently up to the register to greet the clerk. 

“Welcome,” she greets with a smile. “Do you have an appointment with us?"

“Yes,” responds Soonyoung, and that has Jihoon raising an eyebrow. “I’m looking for a necklace.” He pulls his phone out and taps it several times before showing what Jihoon thinks is the necklace, although he can’t see because Soonyoung’s phone is flipped towards the clerk. “_This _necklace, please."

Jihoon watches the clerk’s eyebrows furrow for a moment. For a moment, her eyes flicker back and forth between Soonyoung and his phone as though she doesn’t understand what the alpha is showing her. 

“Necklace...?” she begins hesitantly. “Sir, those are ri ― "

“Under Kwon,” Soonyoung cuts her off rather abruptly, and the clerk’s eyes widen in realization, mouth dropping into an ‘o.’ “Yes, the appointment is under Kwon."

The clerk’s lips widen into a smile. “Oh, _that _necklace!” she says cheerily, stepping out from behind the desk and leading Soonyoung towards the back. “Yes, I remember now. Please follow me, Soonyoung-ssi."

Puzzled, Jihoon watches Soonyoung turn his head back towards him, his alpha smiling reassuringly at him. “Go take a look around,” he says gently. “I’ll be quick."

Nodding, Jihoon clasps his hands behind his back and awkwardly looks around at all the expensive pieces of jewelry. Feeling a little out of place, he slowly walks around to get a bit more comfortable, glancing at all the jewels with mild interest. He makes sure to stay about a foot away from the glass cases at all times, leaning in just a bit to see the jewelry that catches his eye.

Everything seems to be divided into sections. Watches to the right, bracelets to the left, anklets right beside those, earrings and necklaces in the glass cases in the middle ― _wait a minute._

Jihoon automatically moves back when he sees the necklaces, eyebrows furrowing when he sees the rows upon rows of necklaces sitting securely in the glass cases. When he glances up, he realizes there are signs indicating which side of the shop has which item, and right now, the sign above him is printed with _NECKLACES._

_But...the necklaces are over here, _he thinks, puzzled as he glances towards Soonyoung and the clerk. _So why are they...over there?_

Glancing up at the sign, he blinks. Once, twice. Then he thinks he hasn’t gotten enough sleep when he sees Soonyoung and the clerk standing under _RINGS. _Swallowing, feeling his hands clam up and his heart leap in his throat, he stares at Soonyoung’s back, watching as the alpha leans forward to get a better look at...something.

_Rings, _Jihoon faintly thinks. _He’s...looking at rings. _

Slowly, trying to seem as casual as possible, he walks alongside the glass cases and turns the corner, and feels his breath hitch when he realizes he’s right. Soonyoung is peering at two rings lying on a small blue cloth, a smile on his face as he picks one up and examines it.

_Engagement rings. Real engagement rings, _a small voice in Jihoon’s mind whispers excitedly.

”...can always get it resized if it doesn’t fit, but it will take one to two weeks max,” the clerk’s voice drifts into his ears. “Feel free to try them on."

“It looks beautiful,” comes Soonyoung’s voice, sounding pleased.

He looks up then and makes eye contact with Jihoon but instead of being annoyed, a loving and gentle smile pulls on the corners of his lips, his eyes practically glowing. Jihoon feels that same familiar fuzzy feeling warm him up as he hesitantly steps closer.

“Come here, Hoonie,” encourages Soonyoung, reaching out to wrap his arm around Jihoon’s waist when he’s close enough. “Let’s see if it fits you."

A little breathless, Jihoon lets his eyes lay on the two golden rings lying innocently on the piece of cloth. They glint under the lights beautifully and he can see his reflection in them from how shiny they are. They look stunning together, and he can just barely see the little engravings marked on the inside. He wonders what it says.

Behind him, Soonyoung back hugs him and reaches for one of the rings between his pointer and thumb finger. Lifting Jihoon’s left hand, he removes the plastic ring and lays it on the glass case, then slides the golden ring on smoothly.

The first thing Jihoon notices is how much more _real _it feels. It’s a lot more heavier than the plastic ring but it’s comforting, like a constant reassurance sitting right on his ring finger. The second thing he notices is the small ’ᄀㅅㅇ’ engraved at the top. _권순영._

The last thing he notices is how the ring perfectly fits around his finger, and he wonders how Soonyoung had managed to do this without him knowing.

His alpha tries on the other ring and holds his hand out, and Jihoon reaches out to intertwine their fingers together, just taking a moment to admire how _perfect _their hands look together. Complete. 

“It fits,” he whispers, voice a little broken from the sudden rush of adrenaline. He looks up at his mate, who’s already soft in the eyes and gazing lovingly at him. “It fits perfectly."

“I know I said you’d be crying,” Soonyoung starts, voice sounding wet, “but I think I might be the one doing the crying today."

Jihoon and the clerk both laugh at that, and the omega reaches up to nuzzle his nose briefly along Soonyoung’s jawline before turning back to the clerk with a smile. He slides the ring off reluctantly and places it back onto the cloth, watching Soonyoung do the same.

The clerk picks up both the rings and places them both in a red velvet box, sliding the rings into the two slits securely and putting a lid on top. 

“I’m assuming you’ll be taking it today?” she questions.

“Yes,” Soonyoung answers, arms wrapped tight around Jihoon’s middle as they watch her ring it up.

Jihoon finally takes in a relieved breath, reaching up to wipe at his eyes as he whispers, “You’re such a liar, Kwon."

He feels Soonyoung nuzzle his neck, his alpha sliding their plastic rings back on. “You love me,” he mutters, before he’s taking out his wallet.

When Jihoon hears the price, he just about dies a little inside. Soonyoung seems to have no problems with it whatsoever, but Jihoon thinks he’s been expecting it to be this expensive anyway.

Soonyoung gives the clerk his card without thinking twice about it, and Jihoon feels the jab in his stomach when he thinks about how empty his bank account will be after this. Although he didn’t know Soonyoung would’ve ended up buying something so expensive today, he still feels a little guilty for not partaking in the transaction.

“Annnnnnd...here are your rings!” the clerk says cheerily, handing them a dainty maroon paper bag with the ring box securely tucked inside. “I wish you guys the best.”

Jihoon dips his head grateful just as Soonyoung speaks, “Thank you.”

They both see their way out the door, hands intertwined and plastic rings clinking gently together. Despite the warm feeling fizzing up Jihoon’s body, he can’t help but feel just a little sulky. He’d wanted to pay at least half the share considering it’s his _ and _Soonyoung’s engagement rings, and now he feels guilty all because he hadn’t bothered to grab his wallet.

“Uh-oh,” Soonyoung muses, swinging their hands back and forth lightly. “What’s with this emotion I’m feeling, Jihoonie? Don’t tell me you’re upset ‘cause I paid for it.”

Jihoon sniffs, taking his hand away and crossing his arms instead, a little peeved. “You paid for it,” he reiterates. “If I brought my wallet with me, I would’ve at least paid for half of it. At least let me pay you back.”

Soonnyoung tuts, grabbing Jihoon’s hand again and squeezing gently. “Don’t feel guilty, kitten,” he croons, thumb rubbing back and forth over Jihoon’s knuckles. “I already knew beforehand how much it cost so I’ve been saving up. You couldn’t have possibly known so it’s only fair to the both of us.”

“But it’s _ our _engagement rings,” Jihoon pouts. “I want to at least pay you back. It doesn’t feel right that you paid when we still have a wedding to cover.”

At that, Soonyoung smiles and leans down to nudge his nose against Jihoon’s temple. “If you’re feeling that guilty about it, then fine, I’ll let you pay me back.” Jihoon is about to agree contently when his alpha adds, “_but _not with money.”

Soonyoung stops walking in the middle of the shopping center, right next to a map of the floor. With a small grin, he leans closer to get a better view and peers at the different stores listed on the right, and when he finds what he’s looking for, he begins tugging Jihoon into the direction of the desired destination. 

Confused, Jihoon can only follow seeing as their hands are intertwined. Glancing at the back of Soonyoung’s head, he questions, “Soonie, where are we going?”

“Top floor,” is Soonyoung’s curt response.

Jihoon can only sigh and hope this doesn’t lead to anything too terrible. He reckons the first surprise hadn’t been horrible at all, considering it had ended up with something they’ve both been waiting for. Maybe this time around, Soonyoung might want to spend the rest of the day at an arcade with him. Knowing how childish his alpha can be, he wouldn’t be too surprised if that were the case.

But it wasn’t the case at all, because Jihoon was absolutely, completely a hundred percent _ wrong. _

They stop just a few feet from the store, and Jihoon isn’t quite sure where Soonyoung wants to go until his alpha turns to him with a cheeky smirk and jerks his head forward. When Jihoon looks up at the sign, he feels all the blood drain from his face for a moment or two, before he feels the blood rush back up, dusting a lovely red hue on his cheeks and spreading down to his chest.

_ Fuuuuuuuck. _

**VENUS**

“I — oh…” he falters, unconsciously tucking himself closer to Soonyoung in embarrassment when he sees the display of lingerie on mannequins through the glass door. “This is — you want — uh?”

Soonyoung nudges him. “So? You still wanna repay me or no? Your choice, baby.”

Jihoon’s eyes flicker to his for a moment, then back at the logo of the shop. For a moment, he hesitates, fingers twitching where he’s gripping onto Soonyoung’s bicep, and his feet shuffle just a smidge closer. He eyes the display with mild interest, and he feels his face heat up even more when he realizes there are _ thongs _laid out on the table in front of it.

“Jihoonie?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, he glances up at Soonyoung who’s looking at him with concern. If he concentrates hard enough, he’d be able to feel the swirl of regret in his chest, no doubt from his alpha. 

“You don’t have to, you know?” his alpha says softly, nudging his temple again. “You can pay me back with cuddles later, hmm?”

As easy as that sounds to Jihoon, he also can’t deny his peaking interest when his eyes flash to the display again, intrigued. His fingers tighten momentarily around Soonyoung’s bicep, and he kisses his teeth before pursing his lips in contemplation. He can’t deny that some small, _ small _part of him wants to at least explore the store a little despite his pride, but if it’s for Soonyoung…

_ If it’s for Soonie, _ he thinks with a fierce blush, _ then...then maybe...I can…? _

Grunting, he pulls himself away from Soonyoung and crosses his arms. “Pick a number, one through five. Go.”

Blinking, Soonyoung utters, “Uh...four?”

Jihoon’s blush becomes fiercer before he’s holding his hand out demandingly. “Wallet.”

Blinking again, Soonyoung’s mouth drops open a little although he’s reaching for his wallet and placing it in Jihoon’s hand. “Wait, Hoonie…” he says, voice cracking a little. “You’re — I was just — You actually want to…?”

Scowling, Jihoon points a strict finger at his chest. “Stay here. Do not move from this spot,” he hisses, feeling his ears turn hot. “I swear to god, if I find you in there trying to follow me, I am never going to wear whatever four pieces I end up buying, you hear me?”

Wide-eyed, Soonyoung nods quickly and reassures, “Yup, staying right here, babe.”

With that, Jihoon spins on his heel and marches over to the door, yanking it open with embarrassment coursing hot through his veins. Turning his head to make sure Soonyoung hadn’t moved a single inch, he finds his alpha just staring back at him, still wide-eyed as though he can’t believe what’s happening. Well, neither can Jihoon.

Stepping onto the dark oak wood floor, he shuts the door behind him and releases a slow exhale, trying to wrestle down the humiliation he’s feeling. It’s oddly cozy inside, lo-fi music playing softly in the background and soft voices coming from a different entryway where he assumes is where the register is.

Swallowing, he gathers enough courage to look around, aware that Soonyoung can still see him through the glass door. There’s mannequins displaying all sorts of lingerie and underwear on the top shelves, ranging from looking comfortable to downright scandalous, and Jihoon feels the embarrassment come up to his face again as he hesitantly starts walking around.

When he gets closer and closer to the back, he almost trips when he sees shelves full of _ sex toys, _ ranging from whips to handcuffs to harnesses to vibrators galore. It’s any person’s wet dream but Jihoon’s first instinct is to grab the first four sets of lingerie he sees and call it a day, but he doesn’t want to end up wearing a neon green set so he opts to take his time, carefully yet quickly.

Inhaling slowly, Jihoon eyes the lingerie on the mannequin beside him, then lets his gaze fall onto the outfit pieces on the table in front. 

They’re all intimidating to him, considering he’s never tried on a set before, and he doesn’t really know where to begin. He reckons he’s fallen into the dark lingerie section when he sees the hues of black and blues and grays, and is internally grateful that he’s looking at a favored color set. When he glances down at the other mannequins, he winces when he sees basically all the other colors of the rainbow, and decides to look at those options for last.

Reluctantly, he reaches down and picks up the black set piece, unclipping said pieces from the hanger and feeling the fabric. It’s soft to the touch and does nothing to help his thoughts when he imagines how he’d look in it. From what he can tell, it’s lacy and see through in all aspects. The top is a lace balconette bra with a scallop trim and thin, frilly straps. The bottom piece has a mesh garter skirt attached to mesh panties. It also comes with stockings that Jihoon can only imagine reaches just above his knee. When he flips the hanger over, he feels his face redden even more when he sees the small packaging of a matching choker.

Setting the piece down, he clears his throat and walks round the table and reaches for a navy blue body harness this time. It’s a one piece, the top made entirely out of elastic while the bottom has the same lacy material that the first piece had. The straps cross over the collarbone area, attached to a ring that then splits off into two straps. A strap is attached to a ring where the bra cups meet, which then splits into another two straps with another ring where the naval should be. There’s another strap that supposedly goes around his waist and ties to the mid-thigh section.

Blowing out another breath, Jihoon opts to put the body harness back before looking around the store some more, eyeing the mannequins on the shelf when a red set catches his eye.

Red is supposedly said to be a color that makes you look more attractive, and with how revealing the set looks, Jihoon wouldn’t be surprised if Soonyoung were to immediately jump on him upon first sight. 

Like the navy blue set, it’s also a one piece, and like the black set, it’s also mesh and lacy. Thin red straps leads down to a low plunging v-neckline, seemingly almost down to the navel. The v-line structure is also quite deep as well, starting from what he thinks would be his hips to the crotch area. He’s not going to deny that it does look hot, but he thinks it’s a little more daring than he’s used to.

“Okay, okay, just...pick one, Jihoon,” he mutters to himself as he moves around the store, head turning left and right. “Well, pick four actually. Ugh...this is so difficult.”

He finally sees a set he never would have thought would interest him. It’s a pink two piece this time, and it’s — thankfully — a lot more simplistic than the other three. While the bottom piece is nothing more than just lacy panties, the top is covered up with a mesh fabric flowing downwards. It’s simple but Jihoon takes a set anyway, wanting to get this done as soon as possible.

He walks around the store a few more times before giving into buying the sets he’d seen earlier, throwing them all over his arm and hurriedly making his way to the register with another fierce blush.

The transaction is surprisingly quick and nothing more than just a friendly interaction, as if the lady can sense his desperation to get out of the shop as soon as possible. With a quick ring of the register, she hands him a receipt and folds the pieces neatly into a pink bag with a sweet smile, bidding him a goodbye and the usual, “Please come again.”

Never. Again. 

Jihoon ducks his head when he finally, _ finally _makes it out the shop with a bruised pride but a sense of relief. He can see Soonyoung playing a game on his phone, and he storms up to him and shoves his wallet back, still a little humiliated. Halfway through, he realizes he never actually got to wear the pieces, too caught up in embarrassment. He internally curses himself but there’s no way in hell he’s going back again. What’s done is done, and he can only hope the pieces fit.

“Let’s go,” he grunts, ignoring Soonyoung’s fumble of surprise.

“I don’t get to see?” the alpha questions with a slight whine as he follows after Jihoon.

“No, you don’t get to see!” Jihoon huffs, ears red. “That’s for me to know and for you to...well, find out sometime in the future.”

He hears Soonyoung hum suggestively. “Sometime, huh?”

Jihoon doesn’t hesitate to whirl around and smack his arm, a hiss of, “Let’s just go, idiot,” leaving his lips before he’s storming away with Soonyoung’s chuckle heard loud and clear.

—

**CONDO **

**SEPTEMBER 23, 2019 **

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Sangnam-dong

It’s almost night time by the time they get back to their condo, and although they had eaten just a few hours prior they decide to call for takeout instead of dining in another restaurant. Part of the reason is because they’re both too impatient to put the rings on each other, and the other reason? The lingerie. From Soonyoung’s side, of course.

Soonyoung is in the middle of calling in for pizza, giving Jihoon the perfect opportunity to sneak away into the bathroom to give the lingerie a quick try on.

Hurriedly, he takes the bag with him and ignores Soonyoung’s raised eyebrow aimed at him. Opening the door, he places the bag next to the sink and closes it shut behind him, making sure it’s locked lest his alpha tries peeping. He slaps his cheeks softly to get rid of the blush and sighs.

“Okay, you’re just trying it on,” he mutters to himself, slowly taking the pieces of lingerie out from the bag and laying them across the counter.

They all look intimidating in their own way and if he weren’t in the industry, he’d tell you that _this _would be the scariest thing he’s had to do so far. Quite comical actually.

Lifting his fingers to the hem of his shirt, he swiftly pulls it over his head and makes quick work of shrugging his pants off, kicking them both off to the side. Hesitantly, his fingers skim the hem of his boxers, not completely ready to take them off.

He glances at his options first, wanting to make sure he has a rundown of how things will go so he can get this done as quick as possible. The navy blue set and the red set look a bit more dangerous than the other two, so he supposes he’ll try on the pink set first and then the black.

Inhaling deeply, he pulls his boxers down and makes a grab for the bottom piece of the pink set, slipping it on without thinking too much. He tugs on the top piece as well, pulling the flowing mesh downwards and smoothing it out accordingly. He takes a glance at himself in the mirror, cheeks bright red.

Surprisingly, it fits like a glove. When he turns around to look at his behind, he can see the way it hugs his skin. It’s a lot softer than when he first felt it at the shop, like a silk pillow rubbing constantly against him. If it weren’t universally known that it was lingerie, maybe he would’ve considered wearing it to bed comfortably as pajamas. 

Biting down on his lip, he reaches down into the back pocket of his pants for his phone and decides he likes how he looks in it. Opening the camera app, he poses, albeit a little cluelessly, and takes several photos of himself. Putting his phone on the counter, he decides he’ll look through them later.

He shrugs off the lingerie and folds it on the counter, then decides to try on the black set this time.

He’s in the middle of sliding his second stocking on when there’s a knock on the door, nearly making him stumble into the wall. He feels a mixed emotion of dread and excitement swirl in his chest. 

Dread, because _oh god, Soonyoung is gonna see me in this._

Excitement, because _oh god, Soonyoung is gonna see me in this._

“Hoonie?” comes Soonyoung’s voice. “Do you still have that coupon from last time? I ordered the combo with the two large drinks."

“Uh...” Jihoon is having a hard time trying to calm his thoughts right now, and it’s clashing with his ability to think. “I — yeah, it’s in my wallet. On the kitchen counter. It’s in the pocket in front of the bills."

He hears Soonyoung’s footsteps fade away, the alpha muttering something under his breath. He waits for a moment, then two, ear pressed up against the door to make sure the alpha isn’t coming back. 

Slowly, he straightens himself out with a relieved sigh and takes a glance at himself in the mirror. The black set is surprisingly covering him up a lot more than he thought and like the pink set, it hugs him beautifully. There’s two straps dangling behind his thighs but he supposes he’ll have to tie them together.

After taking a few pics of himself, maybe to send to Soonyoung and tease him a little, he goes to remove the lingerie for the navy blue set when Soonyoung’s voice comes back.

“Hoonie, I can’t find your wallet. Are you sure you left it on the counter?"

“Uh, I’m pretty sure,” Jihoon answers, heart back in his throat. “If it’s not on the counter, try check the drawers."

Soonyoung’s footsteps fade away again, but Jihoon can sense that his alpha is in their bedroom. He can hear the muffled sound of the drawers opening and closing, some light humming, and then, “It’s not in the drawers either, kitten."

Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, Jihoon reaches for a towel and wraps himself up the best he can without showing too much. Granted, the stockings give away what he’s really wearing but he supposes if he leans out only a little, it won’t be _too _noticeable.

Unlocking the door, Jihoon pokes his head out and furrows his eyebrows. “Check again. I’m pretty sure I would’ve put it in the drawers if it’s not on the counter. You know I didn’t take it with me earlier."

He watches Soonyoung round their bed and go back to the drawers, the alpha opening and closing them repeatedly before shaking his head. “It’s not here."

Frowning, Jihoon takes a hesitant step out, then another, and another, until he’s making his way over to the dresser and opening the drawers. There’s a sense of something akin to giddiness swelling in his chest, and it only grows stronger when he opens the first drawer and instantly finds his wallet lying inside.

He inhales slowly, a flat, “Soonyoung,” slipping from his lips as he deadpans at his mate through the mirror.

Soonyoung only gives him an innocent look, a cheeky hand slipping up the towel and squeezing his ass gently through the fabric. His eyes darken a little from what Jihoon can see and if he weren’t so amused at the fact that Soonyoung had gone through all the trouble just to try and get a glimpse of his outfit, he would’ve condemned him for his actions. 

“You really won’t let me see?” Soonyoung whispers into his ear, hand sliding up higher. “Even just a second?"

Jihoon silently grabs his wallet and opens it the best he can with one hand, the other hand holding his towel together. He pulls out the coupon and turns around the slap it against Soonyoung’s chest.

“The only thing you’re gonna see is my fist when I punch you,” Jihoon says flatly, then makes a swift exit towards the bathroom. “Now go wait for the pizza to come while I try on the rest."

“Jihoonie..."

Ignoring Soonyoung’s whine, he walks back into the bathroom and “accidentally” lets the towel slip from one shoulder just before he closes the door. Another loud whine can be heard, and Jihoon finally lets himself smile.

He takes several pictures of himself first before going through the other two pieces fairly quickly, not wanting Soonyoung to come back up and try another one of his shenanigans again. Lord knows how impatient his alpha can get once he’s excited. 

The blue set is a lot tighter than it looks, especially when he clasps the harnesses at the back. Admittedly, he does look good in it despite having to stilt his breath and he assumes he’s gotten a size too small. When he goes to take a picture, he has a hard time posing since the clasps begin to dig uncomfortably into his back.

The red set is a lot more lighter than the blue set, but a lot more revealing. When he puts it on, he notices that the deep v-neckline plunges down lower than he initially thought, stopping just above his naval. Overall, the bottom piece looks like a thong merged to the top part, and when he turns around, his face turns the same shade as the set when he realizes the bottom disappears between his cheeks snugly.

After another mini photoshoot, he whips off the set and changes back into his normal clothes. Relief settles in his stomach at the feeling of his shirt and pants back on, and he folds and tucks all the sets back in the small bag.

Walking out, he walks into the closet and hides the bag deep under a pile of clothes, piling more clothes on top of it to make it seem casual. With a sigh, he finally makes his way downstairs just in time to catch Soonyoung taking a box of pizza from the delivery man.

After a quick ‘thank you’ and taking the drinks, his alpha closes the door and grins at him. “Pizza’s here."

He settles the box and drinks onto the living room table while Jihoon turns on the TV in search of an anime to watch. Once they’re all settled and cuddled up on the couch, they dig in without much thought, comfortable in the comfort of their own home. 

There’s three slices remaining by the time they’re stuffed. By then, Jihoon is almost half asleep lying back on Soonyoung’s chest, drifting in and out of consciousness as he watches the episode with a distant mind.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, kitten. We still have one more thing to do," Soonyoung murmurs, patting Jihoon’s tummy. 

Jihoon lets out a sound mixed between a sigh and a hum before sitting upright, letting Soonyoung stand to retrieve the bag sitting on the kitchen counter. He sets it on the table when he comes back, reaching in and retrieving the box from earlier. 

“You ready?” he asks, looking at him with a grin. 

Jihoon only hums, a lopsided smile on his face as he leans against Soonyoung’s shoulder. He watches his alpha open the box to reveal the rings, and he feels the fuzzy emotion from earlier come back to ignite his body.

Reaching out, he grabs Soonyoung’s ring, the one written with his initials, ‘ㅇㅈㅎ’ and lays it on his palm. He feels excited just looking at it, holding it as though he’s holding Soonyoung’s heart, and he might as well have been this whole time. There’s an engraving on the inside of the ring, something he can’t really see against the dim light so he’ll have to ask Soonyoung about it later.

Soonyoung removes his plastic ring and transfers it to his ring finger on his right hand, so Jihoon follows suite.

“I don’t think I have much to say to you,” says Soonyoung after a few moments, taking Jihoon’s left hand and sliding the ring on gently. “I think I’m just incredibly happy that we’ve made it this far. Even though you were a stubborn fuck in Jecheon when you found out, I think I’m most grateful for that moment."

Jihoon snorts, admiring the ring on his finger for a moment before grabbing Soonyoung’s hand and sliding the ring on. “Romantic,” he teases. “I guess...thank you for healing with me. For just...I don’t know, just putting up with me in general. I think I’m most grateful you gave me your laptop then."

Foreheads touching, they both gaze at their rings, fingers loosely intertwined and rings glinting beautifully under the dim light.

Jihoon doesn’t notice how long they’ve been in that position until his head falls forward onto Soonyoung’s shoulder, eyes drooping as the day’s events catch up to him. He hears his alpha let out a soft laugh, and then he’s being gathered into loving arms and lifted.

“Soonie?” he murmurs. “What did you get engraved inside the rings?"

He feels Soonyoung kiss his temple as he walks them up the stairs into the bedroom, and only clings tighter to his alpha when he lays them down on their bed.

A gentle whisper of, “‘I promise,’” before Jihoon lets his eyes close as he drifts into contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard yet so fun to write. I actually ended up hitting writer’s block (what’s new?) and had to end up rewriting the whole thing, but in the end, I think that really helped me write more scenes, so I’m satisfied with how it turned out.
> 
> And 15M views in 3 days? Do y’all see that improvement??? I feel like we’re really uniting this comeback unlike all the others and it makes me really excited to see what could come out of this. 
> 
> VOTE! FOR! SVT! ON! THEKKING! Poll ends tonight and we’re practically neck and neck with the other group >< it’s giving me so much anxiety because I just want the best for SVT.
> 
> So comeback.
> 
> Can we talk about how fun the dance is? I actually tried it and got it down within a day. The vibe is so fun to work with and I was actually smiling dancing it. I’m seeing so many people do the challenge and it’s so funny seeing the different versions.
> 
> ALSO THE STYLING??? Like, everyone looks so good and I don’t think I’ve seen so many sleeveless boys in my life ;;
> 
> FEARLESS. My new favorite b-side. The stage, the set, the choreography, the POWER. The choreography was so damn powerful, I actually cried. And the lines relating back to Fear gave me goosebumps. And then there’s references in the choreography from Good To Me and Getting Closer and I’m just like?? Let me breathe??
> 
> MyMy stage was so cute too. How they resembled waves and boats during the pre-chorus and that one part that looked like Our Dawn Was Hotter Than Day. Mansae 2020 ver. also got me feeling nostalgic ;;
> 
> Also SVT being embarrassed of their past selves SENDS.
> 
> Anyway, keep streaming and collecting votes for Idol Champ, MuBeat, TheKking, WhosFan, and Fan Plus, and remember we need to vote on Mnet soon too!
> 
> Next chapter’s sneak peek is only one line ‘cause I’m pretty sure everyone knows what’s coming up :) (also partly because I didn’t start on that chapter yet, heheheh)
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER:
> 
> “I now pronounce you husband and husband."


	37. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promise  
/ˈpräməs/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen
> 
> 2\. an indication that something specified is expected or likely to occur
> 
> 3\. pledge (someone, especially a woman) to marry someone else; betroth
> 
> 4\. give good grounds for expecting (a particular occurrence or situation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, let’s get it~
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**GROOM’S SUITE**

**APRIL 3, 2020**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Gyeonggi-do

“Are you completely, one hundred percent sure that everything is running smoothly?"

It’s been a long journey to get to where they are now. After years of blood spilt onto the floor, sweat rolling down their faces, and tears dripping from their eyes, and long hours of breaking down and building themselves back up together, it’s finally their big day. Long-awaited, Jihoon would say, _too long_, but he thinks it’s well-deserved.

The last few months had been spent with him spending more time with Soonyoung, the both of them planning out their wedding together little by little despite the limited time they had. Seven months to plan a wedding hadn’t exactly been ideal but the both of them were adamant to have the date set to the spring of April on the third day. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sure, they fought over the smallest things, like what kind of color scheme they should go for, if they were gonna go with a traditional Korean wedding instead of something more modernized, and what food was to be catered during the reception ― but even with all their little arguments and lonely nights spent on couches, they always made sure to _try._

It was a silent mutual agreement between them that they’d begin trying to understand each other on a more deeper level. Nothing about their relationship was normal in the first place and the time to start realizing that had been long overdue. Nothing about them was opposites attract ― they’re one in the same now, bonded for life and beyond.

Communication was supposed to be, and now is, the key in their relationship to open up many more opportunities for them to divulge in together. They’ve both grown stronger mentally and emotionally, ridden of doubts and insecurities threatening to break from its cage. 

Healing is a process that takes time _and _effort, something the both of them never realized they didn’t have back then. Time had always been cut too short, taken away from them. Effort was something they’d always been too exhausted to exert, strained by the continuous missions and nonexistent breaks. Communication ― it was something they never cared for until it was too late.

Now though, even if they still have a long way to go to heal completely, they’re progressing slowly yet surely. Their bond had restrengthened, marks fresh and renewed like a new tattoo embedded in their necks. Gone are the “I have no time” excuses or the “I’m too tired” justifications. Now it’s, “I’m sorry I upset you. Tell me what you’re feeling so I don’t hurt you again."

There’s also the implication of, “I’m sorry. I can’t lose you again so let’s talk it out instead.” Either way, those statements have been the steadily growing foundation to their relationship, and although their journey is far from over, the pillars of support are being built sturdily on those principles.

Of course, there are times where they can both relapse into their old ways of thinking, but it’s meant with pure intentions. Like now.

“Yes, Jihoon,” Seungcheol answers with a huff. “Everything is running as smooth as butter, okay? Don’t worry too much or you’ll start getting wrinkles before you even walk down the aisle."

Beside him, Jeonghan snorts, “I don’t blame him for being worried. Soonyoung’s got Seungkwan and Junnie in there with him. I’m more concerned with how sane Minghao, Wonwoo, _and_ Channie will be once it’s time for the ceremony."

Jihoon is about to press a hand to his forehead out of habit when Mingyu tuts abruptly and slaps it away. 

“Hyung, don’t mess up my hard work already,” he scolds, leaning down and fretting over a stray strand of hair that had fallen from its place. “I’m literally going to scrub your face raw if you even think about touching your makeup. I don’t give a damn if we’re late. You need to look perfect so I can see Soonyoung-hyung ugly cry again."

Jihoon’s mother laughs as she dabs a bit of concealer under Jihoon’s eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen him cry like that." 

Jihoon snorts at that. “He’s been ugly crying on a daily basis since two weeks ago."

“I think it’s cute,” Seokmin says, working on creating a tie. “Well, not the ugly crying, but the fact that hyung cries because he’s getting married to the love of his life now."

“Remember that, hon?” Jihyae questions to her husband, Youngmin. “Remember our wedding? If I remember correctly, you cried, didn’t you?"

Yongmin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Please. You had mascara running down your cheeks. Don’t talk to me about crying, _hon_._"_

Seeing his parents bicker like an ― quite literally ― old married couple has Jihoon unconsciously smiling. He doesn’t even get angry when Mingyu tells him to pucker up for another layer of lip tint because the old layer is “wearing off already."

He snaps out of his thoughts when a phone rings abruptly through the air, buzzing insistently on top of the nightstand. Mingyu nearly drops the lip tint in surprise, which would’ve been a disaster considering he’s still holding the tube of lip tint, and Jihoon moves his head back automatically in fear of the tint accidentally swiping on his chin.

“Jihoon-hyung, it’s yours,” Hansol informs as he peers at the ID caller. “It’s Wonwoo-hyung."

“Go answer it for me so Gyu can get this done already,” Jihoon replies, lips pulling out into a straight, awkward smile when Mingyu wipes at the corner of his lips to remove a dab of lip tint.

Hansol taps on the ‘accept’ button and greets, “Wonwoo-hyung. What’s up? You’re on speaker."

There’s a huff mixed with a scoff on the other line. _”Someone wanted to call Jihoon because he’s too impatient to wait and is acting like a literal five-year-old ― hey, no! Soonyoung, get your ass back in the chair and don’t even think about opening the damn door! Channie, block the door or he’s gonna ― thank you."_

Everyone in the room peer at each other amusedly as Wonwoo sighs tiredly, and Jihoon can only imagine a _portion _of what’s going on at the other side of the hotel. He’d been expecting Soonyoung to be a handful to deal with but he wasn’t exactly sure just how _much._

“Uh-oh,” Jihyae muses. “Looks like we’re dealing with a groomzilla today."

Agreeing, Jihoon can vaguely hear Minghao and Soonyoung arguing in the background, Chan and Junhui’s laugh loud and boisterous. He only sighs and shakes his head fondly, feeling Soonyoung’s emotions swirl in his chest like a hurricane. Annoyed, impatient, nervous, excited ― a disaster, really, but he can’t deny that he feels the same way.

_”Seungkwan ran to the little store next door to buy gel because he forgot to pack, and Kwon eomma and Kwon appa went to go get Soonyoung’s hanbok for the reception,” _Wonwoo explains. _”Now we’re stuck here for ten minutes with this lunatic ― Soonyoung! Sit. Down! I swear to god, if you don’t sit still for the next few hours, I’m not gonna let you call Jihoon!"_

There’s a low whine that comes from the other end, and then a whimper that no doubt comes from Soonyoung. 

_”But...I wanna see him...” _he says sadly, sounding as though he’s pouting. _”That’s not fair, Nonu! You can’t promise me I’ll get to call him and then not give me the phone! That’s ― y’know what ― give me it!"_

_“Soonyoung ― no ― I said sit down!"_

Jihoon purses his lips in concern when he hears the noise on the other line begin to escalate. What starts with scolding and arguing climbs quickly up to a deft thud and some grunting, and he can feel the annoyance from Soonyoung’s end flare a little in response to what’s going on.

_”Okay, I have the gel ― “ _Seungkwan must’ve come back. _”What the hell are you two doing?! Kwon Hoshi, sit down! Oh my god, YOUR DRESS SHIRT! It’s all wrinkled now! I’ve been gone for ten minutes and now ― Hyungs, please keep him sitting on the chair!"_

“Yah, what’s going on over there?” Seungcheol demands, looking more than ready to leave and attend to the other party. 

There’s a huff, sounding simultaneously from both Wonwoo and Soonyoung, and a sigh from Seungkwan. Of all the people in their group, Jihoon didn’t think Soonyoung would be so much of a “bridezilla,” as some would call it, or a “groomzilla,” as his mother calls it.

_“Soonyoungie-hyung is being difficult again,”_ Chan speaks up, amused. _“Hao-hyung and Junnie-hyung is wrestling him onto the chair as we speak."_

“What happened to Wonwoo?” Mingyu questions, already dusting a bit of eyeshadow on Jihoon’s lids. “Is he okay? Is he hurt? Don’t tell me we need an ambulance before we’ve started."

_”I’m fine,” _Wonwoo says, huffing. _”But anyway, yeah. He’s way too impatient to see Jihoon, and we still have, like, what? What time is it? 1 o’clock? We have five hours left until the ceremony."_

_“That’s sooooo long though!” _comes Soonyoung’s repetitive whining. _”Please, I just wanna talk to Jihoonie. It’s been two days. TWO ― since I last saw him. Can he even hear me? Jihoonie....Jihoonie...answer meeeeee. I know you’re there."_

Sighing, Jihoon shakes his head fondly and speaks up. “Soonie,” he says. “Stop giving them a hard time and behave, please. It’s just five more hours, okay? Just five more hours until we can see each other again. You can wait that much longer, can’t you?"

_”But ― "_

”You don’t want me to be angry at you during the ceremony, right?"

It falls quiet on the other end, as though Soonyoung is actually regretting his decisions now. Jihoon can hear Seungkwan angrily muttering things under his breath, presumably attending to Soonyoung’s wrinkled dress shirt.

_“But nothing would change because you’re angry at me always,”_ is what Soonyoung says back, tone careful.

Jihoon’s parents and groomsmen all laugh, and he can also vaguely hear chuckles from the other line as well. He shakes his head with another sigh. He should’ve known something like that would come out of Soonyoung’s mouth.

“You know when he says something like that, you’re stuck with him forever, Jihoon-ah,” Jihyae says playfully, smudging a bit of Jihoon’s eyeshadow. “Be careful."

“I think it’s a good thing,” Youngmin defends. “He knows what _not _to do so his fiancé doesn’t send him to the couch tonight instead of sharing a bed."

Jihoon’s mouth drops open. “Appa!"

“Speaking of which, we _are _growing old, Jihoon-ah,” Jihyae says casually, taking a step back to examine her son’s face. “You know what that means, don’t you?"

“Uh,” utters Jihoon. “More white hairs for you two?"

The room erupts into laughter again and Jihoon bites down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing when his mother gives him a death glare ― the death glare he’d inherited from her as well. His mother clicks her tongue disapprovingly, pinching his lobe painfully.

“No, idiot,” she chides, ignoring Jihoon’s yelp of pain. “It means grandchildren for us. I think two would be enough, but if you and Soonyoung-ah decide to go for more, by all means go for it."

“I call being the godfather!” Seungcheol exclaims, before there’s an incredulous gasp from the phone.

_”No, I call being the godfather!” _Seungkwan cries. _”I’m great with kids, you know? Ask Jeonghannie-hyung! I helped babysit his nieces when we were visiting his hometown."_

”If Seungkwannie is the godfather, then I’m the favorite uncle,” Seokmin chirps. 

Jeonghan scoffs, “You think _you’d _be the favorite uncle? I’ll spoil their pups rotten and they’ll see how much better of an uncle I am than the lot of you."

It comes to Jihoon as no surprise when the room erupts into utter chaos after Jeonghan’s bold statement. Amidst all the commotion, he can hear the other end of the phone bickering and bantering as well, and he sighs. He’s still fond, no doubt, but he can’t deny that his patience is beginning to wear thin.

Maybe he’d been a bit of a hypocrite when he’d asked Soonyoung to wait just a little more, because now he can’t keep himself still.

“I’m taking a break,” he announces, standing up from his seat.

Mingyu automatically shoves him back down. “And where do you think you’re going?"

“I’m taking a break,” Jihoon repeats, annoyed. “I’ve been sitting in this seat for about three hours now and I want to _move. _I just want to take a walk."

“Walk where?"

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. “I’m just walking around! You think I’m gonna run away five hours before my own wedding?"

“Yeah,” Mingyu scoffs. “Run away five hours before your own wedding to see Soonyoung. You’re not even allowed to see him yet, you know that, right? It’s considered bad luck in a lot of areas, and I know you, hyung. I also know Soonyoung-hyung might do the same thing. You might think you’re being sneaky but I’ve always got eyes on you."

Making a face, Jihoon lowers his voice, “Okay, listen. How ‘bout we make a deal then? If you let me sneak away, even just for a couple minutes, I’ll...pay you back later."

“Yeah? With what?” Mingyu crosses his arms expectantly, eyebrow raised. “You’re the freaking groom, hyung. Anyone would notice you’re gone."

“It’s just for a few minutes!” Jihoon insists, standing up again. “I’ll pay you back, I swear. Cover for me while I’m gone."

Ignoring Mingyu’s flailing arms and sounds of protests, he grabs his phone and hangs up the call, then slips away swiftly and somehow manages to blend himself in with the bickering still going on around him. When he looks back while opening the door quietly, he catches Mingyu’s not-so-effective glare and gives him a grin.

Without another second to lose, he shuts the door silently and breathes a sigh of relief when he finds himself standing in the quiet atmosphere. Turning around and beginning his walk down the carpeted hall, he gets his phone out of his pocket and sends a text to Soonyoung.

> **soon-to-be ❤**  
where are you?
> 
> **  
****Hubby**  
going to the lobby bathroom
> 
> **Hubby****  
**meet me there?
> 
> **soon-to-be ❤**  
omw

Pocketing his phone again, Jihoon treks to the elevator quickly, pressing the ‘down’ button and impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. As soon as the doors open, he wastes no time in locating the bathroom, which is, fortunately, right across from the elevators.

Walking up, he finds the little label inside the handle labeled ‘occupied.’ Looking around briefly to see if anyone can see how awkwardly he’s standing there, he knocks thrice and waits.

“Occupied!"

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Obviously, idiot."

The ‘occupied’ turns into ‘vacant’ automatically and the door opens slightly, revealing a pair of slanted eyes peeking around the corner. For some reason, the lights inside the bathroom is turned off, but there’s a smile on Soonyoung’s lips, excited.

Before he realizes it, he’s being pulled inside the bathroom and drowned in the darkness for a brief moment. In the next second, the lights are being turned on, causing him to blink away the fuzzies in the corners of his visions.

“Why did you turn off the lights?” he questions, reaching up to rub at his eyes carefully. He’d be getting the runt of it all if his mother or Mingyu sees he’d smudged his eyeshadow.

Soonyoung turns his head to the mirror and fixes his hair before replying, “I got nervous that they’d find me and drag me out of here before I could see you."

“But they can see the ‘occupied’ sign?"

“I don’t think they’d think anything of it,” Soonyoung says with a shrug.

Jihoon shakes his head, crossing his arms. “Idiot."

With a wide smile, Soonyoung turns to him. “Yours,” he says simply, before pulling Jihoon into his arms and nuzzling his nose into his hair. “Hi, beautiful. Oh my god, I don’t think I could’ve lasted another five hours without seeing you. It was horrible."

Laughing, Jihoon rolls his eyes and mutters, “Sap,” but nonetheless wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s waist. “Can you believe them? Talking about us like we weren’t even there."

“I think they’re more excited about our future than we are,” admits Soonyoung, "I can’t blame them though. I’m finally going to spend the rest of my life with you, and you’re gonna be stuck with me for the next eighty or so years."

“Like I wasn’t before?” snorts Jihoon. “But yeah...I guess that does sound nice."

“You _guess?” _Offended, Soonyoung pulls away from their hug and takes a step away, crossing his arms. “Well, you know what? I _guess _spending the rest of my life with you isn’t too bad either."

Laughing at the playful pettiness, Jihoon reaches for Soonyoung only for his alpha to take another step away from him. They keep doing this for a while until he’s got Soonyoung cornered by the door, to which he successfully manages to cage his alpha in his arms. The both of them are giggling like bumbling idiots by then, as though they’re still teenagers.

“Got you,” he chirps, feeling soft in the heart as he presses his cheek against the broadness of Soonyoung’s right shoulder. “You know I love you."

Soonyoung, who’d turned his head to make eye contact with Jihoon through the mirror, turns away and faces the wall instead. He crosses his arms, and Jihoon can see him biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Oh, so now you say it,” he says with a pout. “No ‘I _guess _I love you,’ huh?"

Jihoon shakes his head. “No,” he mumbles. “I love you."

“Hm."

“Soonie, I _love _you."

“Mhm."

Although Jihoon doesn’t get the words back, he can clearly see how much those three words are affecting Soonyoung. His alpha is turning his head away from him, trying to prevent him from seeing the giddy smile on his lips, but Jihoon can see the lift of his cheeks clearly.

Raising himself on his toes, he drops a kiss on Soonyoung’s nape. “I love youuuu."

Soonyoung only hums again, tone raising at the end. He sounds like he’s about to laugh.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I _loooooooove youuuuuu,_” Jihoon chants, laughing when Soonyoung finally spins around and leans down to press a firm kiss against his lips. He can feel their smiles curving together, molding beautifully like it was meant to be. _They _were meant to be. They _are _meant to be.

“Okay, fine, I love you too,” Soonyoung admits, pulling away a little only to press their lips together again. Peck, peck, _peck._

”Okay, stop. You’re gonna smear the lip tint,” Jihoon chuckles, tilting his head backwards when Soonyoung attempts another kiss. “Gyu and eomma are gonna nag me to no end if they see you smeared my lip tint, then I’m really gonna be annoyed at you during the ceremony."

He feels Soonyoung smile against his chin. “Just one more,” he pleads. “One more kiss and I’ll stop."

“It’s never just ‘one more’ and you know it!” Jihoon scolds, but he can’t help the smile on his lips when he feels Soonyoung kissing his jawline. “Cheeky idiot."

“No, I promise! Just one and that’s it,” his alpha claims with a cheeky grin. 

Jihoon sighs, “You really can’t wait until our honeymoon?"

“Baby, I couldn’t last the five hours until I see you at the ceremony. You really think I’m gonna wait to kiss you until our honeymoon?” Soonyoung presses another kiss on his chin, hand coming up to support Jihoon’s head. “Just one, please. One kiss."

With another sigh, Jihoon finally raises a head and an eyebrow at his fiancé. “Just one?"

“Just one,” his alpha confirms with an affirmative nod.

“Alright,” Jihoon sighs for the nth time. “Come here then."

He sees Soonyoung’s smile for a split second before his alpha is swooping down and pressing an eager kiss on his lips. It’s so abrupt that their teeth almost crash together into a mess. The movement startles him into another giggle, delighted when Soonyoung growls playfully against him and squeezes his waist lovingly, pulling him closer. 

Although the kiss is soft ― as a result of Soonyoung being mindful of his lip tint ― there’s little to no space between them. They’re like magnets, pressing up against each other until not an inch of air is left between their bodies. Jihoon feels warm, so incredibly warm, and he tries channeling that feeling through their bond, hoping Soonyoung would feel the same way he’s feeling.

There’s a surge that suddenly travels in his veins, crashing over his head and making him dizzy. It’s almost overwhelming, waves of soft given pleasure pulsing from the tips of his fingers to his toes, until it feels like he’s completely enveloped in a blanket of orange. Warm. Comfort. Like a sun rising from behind hilltops to kiss his sleeping self a good morning, showering his skin with endless amounts of love and care.

Soonyoung’s lips are warm. Warm like the feeling of being enveloped in consoling arms and hearing lullabies sung sweetly to you in the middle of the night. Warm like the feeling of being pulled back into a chest reminiscent of home.

The alpha is usually gentle in his kisses, likes savoring every last bit as though he won’t get another. This time, however, Jihoon can feel the power in his movement. He can feel his alpha’s hand slide from his head down to his neck, pressing him _ever _so gently forward to deepen the kiss, even just a little. He can feel how Soonyoung’s other hand tightens around his waist, thumb rubbing subtly against his dress shirt comfortingly. 

Unhurried, that’s how Jihoon feels, as though time belongs to them. As though they can control it. They don’t have much to worry about anymore.

Nobody can control time though.

Like glass shattering or paper ripping, the sound of Soonyoung’s ringtone rips through the air, startling them both into pulling away with giddy giggles. They were going to be caught red-handed sooner or later, and although Jihoon doesn’t want to go back, he doesn’t want to delay the ceremony nor the hard work and long hours they’ve spent on it. 

He just wants to be called Soonyoung’s husband already.

“They care more about our wedding than we do,” Soonyoung muses, taking his phone out of his back pocket to glance at the caller ID. He answers it on its third ring. “Hello? Seungkwannie~"

_”And where the hell are you, Kwon Soonyoung-ssi?!” _Seungkwan sounds like he’s about to have a migraine. _”First, you disappear. Then I get news from Lee eomma that Jihoon wandered off somewhere too? I swear to god, if you guys decided to meet up __secretly ― "_

Just to add to Seungkwan’s headache and prove that they are, indeed, meeting up, Jihoon reaches up and pecks Soonyoung with an exaggerated ‘muah!’ He makes sure he can be clearly heard through the other line, and is immensely pleased when he hears Seungkwan’s pained groan.

Soonyoung only laughs, giving Jihoon an amused look as the omega reaches up to do it again.

“Definitely not,” his alpha says teasingly. 

_”You blubbering buffoons!” _Seungkwan huffs. _”We only have four and a half hours until your ceremony and none of you are even halfway done to getting ready! Come back right now! Soonyoung-hyung, Kwon eomma and appa are here, and if you don’t get back within the next five minutes, I’m calling Minkyung-noona."_

The last statement has Soonyoung sobering up pretty quickly, Jihoon almost laughs at how serious he looks.

“Okay, okay, we’re coming back,” Soonyoung says, smiling when Jihoon kisses him again. “Please don’t call noona."

_”I’m counting down and ― will you tell Jihoon-hyung to quit his shenanigans?! Jesus, you guys never stop being lovey-dovey. It’s disgusting!"_

Jihoon only hums. “Just tell us you want the same thing with Vernonie and hang up, Boo Seungkwan."

There’s a pause, a mutter of curses, and then a series of beeps that comes from the phone, signaling that Seungkwan had, indeed, hung up on them. Jihoon and Soonyoung both share a look before erupting into laughter, and the omega plants another kiss on the alpha’s lips before pulling himself away.

"We really should go or noona’s not gonna be happy with you if she finds out we saw each other,” Jihoon comments, smoothing out Soonyoung’s dress shirt. “Big baby. Four hours left, that’s it."

“Four hours too long,” Soonyoung complains, fixing the ends of his sleeves. “How can you not be impatient?"

Jihoon snorts as he unlocks the door and opens it cautiously. “It’s because I realize that I’m gonna be seeing your face for the next eighty years of our lives. Four hours means nothing to me. And also, I think my patience lasts longer than yours."

Soonyoung wrinkles his nose. “You’ve always had the shorter temper though."

“Oh my god, there you two are!” a voice cries out, and the both of them look up in horror to see Jihoon’s mother storming up to them, with Jihoon’s father walking comedically leisurely behind her. “You boys can’t even wait four hours more, can’t you? Now you’ll both have bad luck for the rest of your lives!"

Laughing, Jihoon ducks when his mother attempts to reach out and pinch his ear, and he swiftly presses himself up against Soonyoung’s back, using his alpha as a shield. 

“Eomma, you can’t possibly believe that myth,” he says with a cheeky grin. 

“He’s right, hon,” his father says, clicking his tongue as he wraps an arm around his wife. “We did the same thing too but now look at us. Still happy as can be."

Soonyoung grins. “_Eomeonim_, so rebellious."

Jihyae’s face turns pink, but she crosses her arms and turns her head. “We shouldn’t be condoning this type of behavior to them,” she tells Youngmin, who only snorts in response. 

She turns back to Jihoon with pursed lips. “You,” she says, “are coming back with us, and _you ― “ _She turns to Soonyoung with a strict finger, “ ― have to get your hanbok fitted on you. You know how your mother is when things are done last minute, don’t you?"

Soonyoung winces at the thouught. “Of course, _eomeonim_."

Satisfied, she reaches for Jihoon and pulls him away from his mate. “Come now, Jihoon-ah. Now that you’ve seen each other, we need to make you look extra, _extra _handsome for the ceremony. You know what that means."

Jihoon groans. “Eomma, _please._ No more makeup. Especially if it’s _Mingyu_."

His mother tuts and shakes her head. “Too bad. Say goodbye to Soonyoung now. You won’t see him again for another _four _hours."

Pouting, Jihoon turns to Soonyoung and reaches up to _peck, peck, peck_ at his lips. “I guess this is where we part,” he mutters dramatically against his lips. “Until four hours."

Soonyoung smiles, chuckling, “I shall be waiting for you, my love."

“Alright, that’s enough,” Jihyae chides, tugging the back of Jihoon’s collar. “Let’s go."

Jihoon pouts again when he’s practically dragged away. Glancing back at Soonyoung, he blows an air kiss and shakes his head when his alpha catches it in the air and makes a show of pressing it against his own lips with a cheeky smile.

“Idiot,” he mutters fondly.

Sure enough, when they get back to the room, Jihoon is automatically bombarded with complaints from his friends, especially Mingyu. He ignores them though, even when Mingyu pushes him back into the chair and fusses over his smeared lip tint, opting to annoy the younger man with a grin that has Mingyu huffing.

He lets out a sigh when he glances at the clock on the wall.

_Four hours cannot go by any slower._

―

**CHAPEL**

**APRIL 3, 2020**

**Location:** Seoul, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Gyeonggi-do

“Ready?"

After four excruciatingly long hours of waiting and being fussed over by all his groomsmen and his mother, it’s finally time for the big moment. Frankly speaking, Jihoon would’ve gone ahead to start the ceremony himself if Soonyoung was down to do it with him but alas, he also wants a nice wedding for them. He thinks they deserve it.

Jihoon nods and inhales deeply as his mother goes ahead and fixes up a stray strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes.

“My baby is really getting married,” she whispers, eyes becoming teary.

Jihoon groans, a chuckle following soon after. “Eomma,” he chides, shaking his head. “You had, like, ten hours to start crying but you decided to do it now?"

His mother sniffs in response, dabbing her eyes with a napkin his father had given her automatically, as though he’d been expecting this to happen. His father glances at him and spins his finger around the side of his head while rolling his eyes, mouthing, ‘she’s crazy.’ Jihoon only laughs.

“It’s all just hitting me now,” his mother speaks, blowing her nose into the napkin and handling it back to her husband, who cringes at the gesture. “You’re no longer gonna be our baby anymore in ten minutes. Instead, you’re gonna be Soonyoungie’s baby and he’s gonna be the one taking care of you."

“Eomma!” Jihoon exclaims, flustered. “Stop it. It’s not the end of the world, calm down. I could already take care of myself."

His mother only waves her hand in retaliation, the perfectionist inside her smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles of his tuxedo and straightening his tie by a grand millimeter. Jihoon can only watch her fondly, and he supposes he’s gotten his own perfectionist traits from her.

“Alright, can we get going?” his mother questions, turning around and looking around the room. “Do we have everything? Jihoonie’s hanbok for the reception?"

“I’ve taken it to the car,” Mingyu says affirmatively. “Folded neatly in the backseat like requested."

“Hansol, sweetie, you have the rings?"

Hansol nods, patting his breast pocket. “Yes, ma’am. The pillow is already in the car too."

Jihyae nods approvingly, turning to Jeonghan, Seokmin, and Seungcheol. “And we’ve got our flower boys and Jihoonie’s best man ready?"

“Ready,” the three of them answer in unison.

“And Soonyoung and his side are already at the chapel, correct?” she questions to nobody in particular as she takes her phone out of her bag to glance at the time. “We have thirty minutes more to get there and get the last preparations done. Jihoonie, are you wearing your matching boutonniere? And your bouquet? Do you have it?"

Jihoon reaches for the small bouquet of flowers sitting atop the dresser, then pats his left lapel at said boutonniere. “Yes, eomma. I have both."

Youngmin places his hands on her shoulders with a chuckle. “Okay, honey, everything is gonna go fine. Don’t worry too much or you’ll end up being the bridezilla you were at our wedding."

Jihoon watches in amusement when his mother turns to give his father the stink eye ― no doubt something he’s inherited from her as well. With a sigh, his mother grabs her bag, then grabs Jihoon’s hand and begins leading everyone out into the door.

“Alright, if that’s everything, let’s go then,” she speaks.

When they go outside, there’s already two SUV’s waiting for them by the service station and they split themselves into two groups, the first SUV consisting of Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Seokmin, Joshua, and Hansol; and the other consisting of Jihoon, his parents, and Mingyu.

They arrive at the chapel in twenty minutes, which gives them just enough time to give Jihoon a touch-up before he walks down the aisle.

The chapel itself is relatively small and can probably only hold about fifty people, but he and Soonyoung decided a private wedding would satisfy them both. They wouldn’t have to spend so much money on an event that would only last up to an hour, and it’s inevitable they’d end up choosing a small wedding for the sake of their privacy. 

Although their wedding ceremony may not seem like much and the reception wouldn't do much justice to their big day, Jihoon is sure their honeymoon would make up for it in more ways than one.

Let me emphasize that again; in more ways than _just _one.

As soon as the SUV’s stop in front of the chapel, they all clamber out of the large vehicles and instantly begin to touch-up on Jihoon’s makeup, suit, and anything that his mother deems is less than perfect. Knowing better than to argue with his mother, he stands still the best he can and tries not to fidget under the nitpicking hands.

“Only a few more minutes now,” his mother whispers, pulling away the same stubborn strand of hair away from Jihoon’s face before looping her arm around his left arm. “How’re you feeling?"

“Excited,” Jihoon admits. “A little nervous too, I guess but that’s normal, right?"

She squeezes his bicep comfortingly. “Don’t worry,” she reassures with a cheeky smile. “The moment you lock eyes, you’re gonna forget everyone else even exists."

Scoffing, Jihoon shakes his head at the typical statement but says, “I just hope I don’t trip."

“You’re most likely gonna trip on your hanbok during the reception,” she remarks back, laughing.

Caught up in all the ceremony organizing, Jihoon had almost forgotten about the reception. He and Soonyoung had both agreed that although they wanted a simple and private wedding, they also wanted to mix in a bit of the traditional Korean practices as well. From what his mother had told him, the reception would only consist of a small meal gathering with their families and friends, and he thought it was perfect.

As for their honeymoon, they both agreed that it would be dangerous to fly out of South Korea and surprisingly, it was Soonyoung who suggested going to Dongbaekseom island. It’s a small island just off the coast of Busan, and although Busan is Jihoon’s hometown, he’s never gotten to go there. Maybe he’s heard it a few times from his parents but he never really took any interest in the sightseeing aspects.

“Into positions!” Mingyu exclaims, snapping him out of his thoughts.

The next minute is a flurry of movement from his friends, all of them running like chickens without heads at the announcement. Jihoon watches in amusement as voices begin to blend with each other, everyone’s eyes wide and limbs moving frantically.

He, surprisingly, feels calm despite the chaos happening around him. A little excited too and just a _tad _bit nervous. He supposes the latter part of the two is coming from Soonyoung though, so he tries pushing out pulses of comfort through their bond to soothe the dissonance.

His father comes up to whisper, “Fighting,” before he’s looping Jihoon’s arm around his own, a proud smile on his face.

Jihoon’s lips curl up, and when he sees the doors beginning to open, he inhales deeply. A spike of nervousness electrocutes his veins, causing his fingers to shake slightly where he’s gripping the bouquet. It’s nothing too flashy; just a simple arrangement of calla lilies and daffodils.

His mother pats his forearm, and he swallows down the last bit of nerves that managed to snuck in last minute before taking a step forward. One step at a time, slowly. There’s no need to rush anymore.

They make their way into the chapel at an almost suspenseful pace, and Jihoon is just itching to break free from his parents’ hold and run down the aisle. He vaguely sees their guests stand up in response to the beginning of the ceremony, but that’s not what he’s focused on. His eyes zero on the man standing at the end of the altar, who’s looking just as eager as he is to run up to him and pronounce them husbands already.

They lock eyes, and although what his mother said about forgetting everyone else exists isn’t entirely accurate, it’s damn well close to what he’s experiencing right now. Everything and everyone in the background blurs out, and the only clear person he can see is Soonyoung.

He feels more and more breathless with each step he takes forward, breath stolen from him. He never knew why people made such a big deal about weddings, about spending so much money and time into planning ceremonies, but now he understands.

Soonyoung positively _beams _when they see each other, smile so wide it could light up the whole chapel. His eyes disappear into thin slants, cheeks bunching up and teeth showing. Jihoon doesn’t understand how one can be simultaneously adorable and handsome all the same. 

Just when they’re about a few steps away from each other, the most unexpected thing happens.

Jihoon nearly pauses in his steps, watching in horror as Soonyoung’s face begins to contort drastically, the smile on his face disappearing.

_Oh dear god, _Jihoon muses silently to himself. _He better not..._

Of course, Soonyoung does so anyway. His lips quiver, eyes watering at an almost alarming rate before he’s slapping a hand over his mouth and looking away, ears red with embarrassment. Jihoon, although embarrassed as well, can only smile fondly as his parents hand him off, his alpha offering his other arm instead.

“I can’t believe you’re crying,” he mutters in amusement, reaching for the napkin in Soonyoung’s lapel and dabbing his eyes with it. “You idiot."

“Hyung, I swear to god, if you ruin my hard work, I will object to this wedding just to drag you back to the suite and put it on again!” Seungkwan yells from the crowd, causing chuckles to flitter around.

A soft noise sounding suspiciously like a whimper slips from behind Soonyoung’s hand. “I just can’t believe it’s really happening now,” he mumbles shyly, sniffling a little. 

Jihoon tucks the napkin back into Soonyoung’s lapel, nudging his alpha. “Hush now so we can get this over quicker, hmm? Then you can cry all you want."

Ignoring the last part, Soonyoung nods in agreement and inhales deeply, giving him another bright smile that has his lips curling up. With a gentle squeeze to each other’s hands, they both turn to the priest who’d been watching their exchange with amusement, book open and ready in his hands.

Upon having everyone’s attention, the priest clears his throat and begins the ceremony, “Friends and family of both grooms, welcome and thank you for being here on this important day. We are gathered together to celebrate the very special love between Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon, by joining them in marriage. All of us need and desire to love and to be loved..."

Jihoon tunes out the rest of the opening speech, focused on how warm Soonyoung’s hand feels in his. His alpha is subtly rubbing his thumb over his knuckles, pulses of nothing but pure joy flowing through their bond. He thinks he can stay standing there for a long time if it means Soonyoung’s by his side.

He thinks of how much pain they’ve gone through to finally be able to reach this milestone of their life, and he wonders how normal this type of feeling is to _normal _people. Normal couples who have nothing to worry about except for living costs, normal workers who work a 9-5 job or even in retail. 

He wonders if there’s an alternate universe somewhere, where he and Soonyoung are exactly like those normal people. No mafia, no enemy, no targets, no danger. 

Before he knows it, it’s almost time for their vows, as are the exchanging of their rings.

"Do you both pledge to share your lives openly with one another, and to speak the truth in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for one another, cherish and encourage each other, stand together, through sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs for all the days of your lives?” the priest questions, looking up from his book.

“We do,” Jihoon and Soonyoung answer simultaneously. 

_Like we’ve always been, _Jihoon thinks to himself, lips curling at the realization. _Lots of hardships and triumphs._

"Do you pledge to share your love and the joys of your marriage with all those around you, so that they may learn from your love and be encouraged to grow in their own lives?"

“We do."

The priest gestures to Hansol, who steps up to the altar readily prepared with their wedding bands lying securely on a small pillow.

"May these rings be blessed as a symbol of your union,” the priest continues. "As often as either of you look upon these rings, may you not only be reminded of this moment, but also of the vows you have made and the strength of your commitment to each other.” He then turns to Soonyoung with a nod. “Soonyoung-ssi, you may say your vow."

Their hands separate as they both turn around to look at each other, shy smiles blooming on their faces but love undeniable in their hearts.

“Words have always been your forte,” Soonyoung begins, taking Jihoon’s left hand in his and reaching for the wedding ring with his other. “I’m not very good at expressing myself vocally, and I’m sure that’s been apparent through everything we’ve been together. Truthfully speaking, if you were to ask me nine months ago if I ever saw myself standing before you now, I would tell you no. It wouldn’t have been because I didn’t love you. I did, but I loved you too much, and I think that was what led to our lowest point yet."

Jihoon watches Soonyoung’s eyes lower to his hand, his alpha looking more than ready to put the ring on but it’s obvious he still has a lot to say. It’s true; vocally expressing himself has never been Soonyoung’s forte, although his alpha talks more than he lets on. It’s just not the best way for him.

“But even if we fell apart over and over again, it was like we both never gave up on each other,” continues Soonyoung. "Maybe it was an unconscious decision made by our bond, but I like to think fate had it all planned out for us from the start. We were never perfect and neither was our relationship, but even past all my flaws and stubborn personality, you still...are somehow in love with me, and I think that’s amazing."

There’s a few snorts from their guests, and Jihoon rolls his eyes playfully.

“Okay, but honestly though,” Soonyoung says more seriously, now lifting his eyes to meet Jihoon’s. “You never gave up on me. Maybe there was that one moment where you just wanted me to end it all, tell you that I should just reject you ― “ He pauses, voice wavering a little. Jihoon squeezes his hand when he feels a pang of sadness in his chest. “ ― but you kept trying, even when I constantly tried to deny you things you wanted for us. You kept fighting for us, and I told you before, but I’m forever grateful for that moment."

“I think this moment marks me fulfilling all but one promise to you,” he says, fingers moving slowly when he slides the wedding band on Jihoon’s ring finger. “I’ve promised you a lot of things and I’ve fulfilled most of them by now but one: to start a life anew with the growth of a new family."

Jihoon suddenly feels a little overwhelmed, and he’s not surprised when heat pricks behind his eyes.

“I promise to be someone you can depend on in times you need it,” Soonyoung continues. “I promise to be there with you through thick and thin, and fight for and with you through any battle we face. I promise to be someone you can be proud of, as both your mate and bonded alpha. Last but not least, I promise to love and cherish you as I always have, to stay by your side until death do us apart."

Soonyoung’s lips are quivering again when he smiles but despite that, he keeps going. 

“Thank you, Jihoon,” he murmurs, almost too quiet for anyone else to hear. He lowers his eyes again. “Thank you for giving me another chance, for not giving up on me. Thank you for continuing to try your hardest even when I was stubborn. Thank you for loving me as I am and accepting all my flaws. Thank you for being there by my side when I needed you most. Thank you for trusting me again. Most of all, thank you...for healing with me.” With that, Soonyoung finally slides the wedding band on until it’s snug against the base of Jihoon’s ring finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he finally says, almost in a whisper.

They’re both crying when their eyes meet, orbs glassy and full of words left unspoken, but it’s good like that. It’s enough for them, and when Jihoon makes out the ‘I love you’ Soonyoung mouths to him, he cries a little harder.

“Jihoon-ssi, you may say your vows,” the priest says patiently.

It takes a while, a long while, for Jihoon to gather his thoughts and swallow down his tears, but he manages. He always does.

“We’ve never walked a flowery path,” is what he says first, not wanting to choke up so soon. “The path we took was always full of thorns and realistically speaking, our path will continue to be full of thorns. Our lives were never easy in the first place and that’s to be expected anyway, but it’s not unrealistic to walk around those thorns and look at the roses instead."

He inhales deeply. “Being in love with you was, and is, a journey. I felt like there were a lot of sides to you I got to discover, and a lot of sides I got to find out about me, too. Truthfully speaking, we really do bring out the best in each other, and up until nine months ago, I didn’t think we’d be at this point of our lives either, but you know what? I’m glad we fought that day. I’m glad we got angry at each other to the point we almost fell apart, because in the end, we didn’t fight each other. We fought _for _each other."

He continues, “I’m glad we didn’t end up walking a flowery path. I think we grew more stronger because of it, and we managed to overcome the battles we’ve faced together. While I may be better at vocally expressing myself, I’m not the best at knowing what to say without sounding repetitive, so I’ll end this here."

Picking the wedding band from the pillow, he begins sliding it onto Soonyoung’s finger as he speaks, “I promise to be someone who will always stick with you until the end, like I’ve always done. I promise to be someone you can rely on, and someone you can tell your troubles to. I promise to be there by your side always, to continue supporting you and fighting with you in all the battles we face."

By the time he finishes, the ring is now snug on Soonyoung’s finger.

“Thank you for letting me in,” he continues, lifting his eyes to meet Soonyoung’s adoringly. “Thank you for being honest with me, for putting up with me and my attitude in times where you probably wanted nothing more than to lash out on me. Thank you for helping me become confident in myself again. Thank you for healing with me."

Slowly removing his fingers from the ring, he murmurs, “With this ring, I thee wed."

There’s a brief pause that’s too quick for anyone else to notice, but Jihoon can sense it clearly. That small moment, that small pause, had just signaled their transferring between a toxic end and a new beginning, and he can’t wait.

"Go now in peace and live in love, sharing the most precious gifts you have ― the gifts of your lives united, and may your days be long on this earth,” the priest begins, then closes his book with a large smile. "I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom." 

The cheering and applause around them fades away when Jihoon feels Soonyoung’s lips lock with his immediately, wasting no more time than needed. He nearly falls back due to the force exerted but he giggles anyway, wrapping his arms around his alpha and pressing their curved smiles together, tears slipping between their lips.

“Race you to the car,” Soonyoung whispers.

Jihoon kisses him again and again, then says, “Call."

The next thing he knows, the both of them are running down the aisle with wide smiles on their faces, laughter threatening to spill from their lips as their friends and family shower them with flower petals. 

In a spur of the moment, Jihoon throws his bouquet up in the air, no doubt in his mind that someone will catch it. 

Sure enough, there’s a loud scream of, “I CAUGHT IT!” and choruses of “Seokjin!” echoing behind them, and he laughs again. Namjoon is definitely in trouble now.

His hand manages to find itself back into Soonyoung’s hold just as they hop down the stairs together, and they both tag the car simultaneously, still laughing. Opening the door, Jihoon lets himself into the furnished seats.

Soonyoung turns his head and yells, “We’ll meet you guys at the temple!” before he’s clambering in himself, pushing himself right up against Jihoon’s side with an excited giggle after closing the door.

“My husband,” he sings, pecking Jihoon’s cheek repeatedly. “You’re my husband now, kitten."

Sighing, Jihoon shakes his head but doesn’t stop Soonyoung from indulging himself. “Oh my god,” he says, exasperated but fond. “I didn’t know you could be more of a sap than you already were.” Despite his statement, he turns his head to catch one of Soonyoung’s kisses with his lips.

Soonyoung only hums against him. “Love you."

“Love you too."

They don’t get much time to themselves, seeing as the temple is only fifteen minutes away from the chapel. 

By the time they get there, the sun is just beginning to go down, making a lovely scenery behind the temple they’re having their reception at. Their friends and family pull up in SUV’s behind them a few minutes later, now officially beginning the start of their reception.

Both Jihoon and Soonyoung’s mothers walk up to them with red-rimmed eyes and wide smiles. They’re both holding a box each, presumably filled with their hanboks and props needed for the process

“I need a picture of you two before you change out of your hanboks,” Minyoung says with a knowing tone in her voice. 

Maybe she’d expected whines from both grooms but now that they’re officially husbands, there’s no need to rush. They both nod in unison and allow their mothers to drag them near the fences, right where two cherry blossoms are planted behind.

“We’re gonna be here for a while,” Soonyoung mutters to him when their mothers stow the boxes on a nearby bench.

Jihoon snorts, wrapping his arms around Soonyoung’s waist and leaning into him. “Tell me something I don’t know."

Sure enough, they do stand between the trees for a long while, taking pictures with their friends first: Namjoon’s team and their own. It takes a long time, especially when Jin, Jimin, Jeonghan, Mingyu, and Seungkwan all demand to have pictures retaken. It takes even longer when everyone wants pictures on their _own _phones too.

Jihoon’s feet and cheeks are starting to hurt from standing and smiling when it’s time for family portraits. It takes another fifteen minutes or so to take pictures, especially when it’s _Minghao _behind the camera.

“Jihoonie-hyung, smile wider please!"

“Soonyoungie-hyung, you’re slouching. Straighten that back!"

“Soonyoungie-hyung, please smile like this when you remember that you still owe your team a free week."

Soonyoung automatically breaks out of his smile, pointing a finger at Minghao and pouting. “Yah. I definitely won’t be smiling anymore if you keep stalling! Hurry up, my cheeks are starting to hurt, and Jihoonie’s feet are aching too."

Jihoon laughs when Minghao retorts, “Well, you wouldn’t want to look like you’re in pain in your wedding photos, right?” 

Like that, Soonyoung automatically straightens his back, his smile widening again like nothing happened. It’s quite comical, actually. 

Jihoon reaches up and pats his cheek empathetically. “Just a few more, Soonie, then we can finally sit down and eat. You’ve worked hard. Hang in there."

“I’m trying, hon,” grits Soonyoung through his teeth. “It’s our special day though so it’s worth it."

Laughing again and hearing Minghao’s countdown, Jihoon faces the camera with his own smile just as he hears the shutter of the gadget going off.

“Are we done?” he asks loudly, almost pointedly.

“Of course not,” Minghao says back with a frown, pointing the camera at them again. “Now we need individual married couple pictures!"

Both Jihoon and Soonyoung let out a simultaneous groan, and the omega leans his head back on his alpha’s shoulder. He takes the liberty to rest most of his weight against Soonyoung’s body, only relieving the ache in his feet slightly.

Minghao tuts. “No complaining. You’ll thank me for this in thirty years or so. Now pose and smile!"

Jihoon hears Soonyoung let out a contemplative sigh before he’s being swooped up into his alpha’s arms. He lets out a surprised yelp, arms instinctively looping around Soonyoung’s neck.

“Yah,” he chides. “What are you doing?"

“We might as well make the most of this,” Soonyoung responds with a cheeky grin, this time genuine. “I’m helping your feet now, aren’t I?"

Jihoon hadn’t realized the ache had mostly disappeared from the soles of his feet until his alpha had said anything. He supposes being carried bridal style isn’t such a bad thing, and he takes the opportunity to sink a little deeper in Soonyoung’s hold.

“Just know that now that you’ve done this, it’ll be hard getting me off,” he hums.

“Oh, _great,” _Soonyoung complains, voice sarcastic, and Jihoon laughs.

Their future looks bright now, and he can’t wait to see what else their future holds for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, readers ― the last chapter of WWWP! I started writing this in July of last year, published it on October, and finally finished this in July again. It all came full circle!
> 
> If I’m being honest, I can’t believe I managed to finish this. I’ve encountered so many writer’s block from chapters 18 and onward and it’s been mentally draining for me to keep up with the updating schedule, but y’know what? All of you wonderful readers have shown never-ending love and support for this fic, I thought it would be a waste if I didn’t finish it. I also had a vision of what I imagined the ending to look like, and I couldn’t let the fic go without fulfilling the ending.
> 
> So to all my readers who’ve been showing their support, either commenting or giving this fic kudos, if you’re a silent reader or a vocal one ― thank you for sticking with me to the end. Even in times where I was unsure if this fic was good enough and if I should continue it, even when I asked if certain scenes were good enough, you guys kept giving me the motivation to continue this, and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for you. Thank you. I felt like I got to connect with a lot of you through my ridiculously long author’s notes and I’m happy to know that this fic wasn’t a total flop :,) 
> 
> I am considering writing an epilogue, so if you’re interested in that, I will have a poll up on my twitter (@mistehri) regarding who’s POV this fic should end on. Other than that, I will also be posting a poll after the epilogue is written regarding what AU I should write next :)
> 
> Well, this marks the last chapter but not the ending of the book! Thank you everyone, for showing this fic endless support, and thank you to my readers, for giving me support <3
> 
> Keep supporting SEVENTEEN through and through. We’ve reached 35M on the MV and we’ve gotten them their first win already! We can keep going.  
Vote on Mubeat for our boys too. (We’re in 2nd place but the gap really isn’t that big! I’m honestly impressed that we’re still holding out despite being up against a bigger fandom.)
> 
> I don’t have much else to say other than I’m happy and relieved. If you have any questions about the fic or if you simply want to connect with me, I am active on my Twitter :)
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤


	38. Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoenix  
/ˈfēniks/
> 
> noun
> 
> 1\. (in classical mythology) a unique bird that lived for five or six centuries in the Arabian desert, after this time burning itself on a funeral pyre and rising from the ashes with renewed youth to live through another cycle
> 
> 2\. a person or thing regarded as uniquely remarkable in some respect
> 
> PHRASE
> 
> 3\. rise like a phoenix from the ashes — emerge renewed after apparent disaster or destruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE OFFICIAL LAST CHAPTER, I’M GONNA CRY.
> 
> Enjoy reading! ❤

**DONGBAEKSEOM ISLAND**

**APRIL 13, 2020**

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Dongbaekseom

“The view is beautiful.”

It’s been ten days since their wedding now and three days since they’ve left to Dongbaekseom Island for their honeymoon. The drive from Seoul to Busan had taken hours and would’ve taken longer if Soonyoung wasn’t so adamant on driving straight towards the island without any pit stops, save for bathroom breaks.

Sitting in the car for hours had been all worth it in the end when they got to their destination with the sun still shining high above their heads. Soonyoung had already booked a hotel room suite prior to their wedding day for the whole week they’d be staying, and though Jihoon had scolded him for spending money again, the alpha only claimed, “Only the best for my Jihoonie."

Their first day of their honeymoon consisted of them settling into their hotel room suite and unpacking their belongings. Although they both wanted to explore the area first, they both agreed it was best to tuck in for the late afternoon and dine in for dinner at the restaurant nearby to catch up on some much needed sleep.

It’s their second day now and it’s almost sunset, the both of them doing nothing but walking around the area to get a feel for the place and get a few pictures in. So here they are walking along the platform surrounding a large cylindrical building, hands intertwined as they gaze out onto the bay. Soonyoung can vaguely see people swimming in the water, and he makes a mental note to go for a swim later on his list of things to do.

“Yeah, the bay is beautiful,” Jihoon agrees with him, referring to his comment earlier. He’s still gazing out into the bay, eyes sparkling against the sea.

Soonyoung chuckles, endeared. “I wasn’t talking about the bay."

“Hm?” Jihoon hums, turning his head briefly towards the alpha before he’s looking back at the scenery. “The sunset then? That’s also beautiful."

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung groans playfully. “I mean, yeah — the sunset is also beautiful, but I wasn’t talking about that either. The view I’m talking about is someone who’s wearing a white dress shirt and denim shorts...and he’s looking _really _pretty in something so casual..."

Giving him a confused look, Jihoon turns his head and points at a man sporting a similar attire. “That guy over there?” He turns his head and glares at Soonyoung, hands on his hips. “Need I remind you we just got married — "

“Jihoonie!” whines Soonyoung with a pout, wrapping his arms around his omega and squeezing lightly. “You know I’m talking about you, stop it!"

Jihoon leans his head back on the alpha’s shoulder, his angry facade melting into a cheeky smile. He looks so damn happy, lips curled up into a wide smile and eyes curving into those beautiful crescents Soonyoung misses seeing so _damn _much. What he wouldn’t give to keep that smile on there forever.

He feels Jihoon raise a hand up under his chin to pat his cheek. “I’m joking, hon. Personally, I like my view too."

Stunned at the underlying compliment, Soonyoung opens his mouth to retort when he feels Jihoon nose his jawline. “Your chubby cheeks are looking _real _cute from my angle."

Jihoon is out of his arms in the next second with a cackle, practically _prancing _away and continuing their walk, leaving the alpha standing there with an open mouth. He doesn’t know whether to feel amused or insulted, but if being insulted is what it takes to get Jihoon’s mood up, maybe he wouldn’t mind it so much.

Pouting again, he follows after his mate sulkily, still feeling a little conflicted. “They’re not chubby,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. “They’re _fluffy._"

He watches Jihoon automatically stop in his tracks and turn to him again, the same wide smile still on his face. Turning around, the omega _skips _— literally skips — back towards him before reaching out and taking his face between his palms, patting his cheeks lightly. 

“Have I ever told you this?” Jihoon asks, squishing and pinching Soonyoung’s cheeks lovingly. “I love your cheeks."

_”Wubf?” _is what comes out of Soonyoung’s mouth, trying his best to say ‘what?’ with his mate still squishing his cheeks. 

“Uh-huh,” Jihoon nods. “I don’t think I’ve told you this enough. Your cheeks are cute. I know you’ve told me before that you wanted to lose cheek fat, but you shouldn’t. You’re cute like this.” With that, he leans up and presses two soft pecks on both of Soonyoung’s cheeks, patting them twice before pulling away. “Cutie."

Stunned, Soonyoung watches Jihoon turn back around and walk away. “Now come on, I want us to go down to the bay before night hits."

Soonyoung blinks slowly, then nods, a little dumbfounded. “Yeah, sure."

Don’t get him wrong — he loves it when Jihoon unexpectedly turns the tables and compliments him, sometimes even going as far as to initiating touches like what just happened three seconds ago. His omega rarely does this, however, and it catches him off guard quite easily. He tries not to ponder too much on Jihoon’s actions though, opting to relish that small moment of Jihoon initiating the affection.

Biting down on his bottom lip to prevent a giddy smile from forming on his lips, he catches up to Jihoon easily. Wrapping an arm around his omega, he presses a kiss on the side of his head, unable to help himself.

They don’t say much when they find themselves walking along the bay, just soaking in each other’s presence, and Soonyoung finds that beautiful in its own way. They’ve come so far in their relationship that they have no reason to be uncomfortable with each other anymore. They’ve made it past the worst and will continue to strive for their best.

Walking along the bay brings a new sense of calmness in Soonyoung. Hearing the waves crash gently onto the sand, the faint sounds of crickets rubbing their wings together in the distance, the faint chatter of people from the balcony they were standing on just a few moments ago — it’s serene.

Then the bitterness comes. He hadn’t really thought about it much but now that he’s alone with Jihoon, he can’t help but think about how much time they’ve missed out on. Moments where they fought, where their energy could’ve been used on something more useful than destroying their relationship. 

There’s a sudden pinch on his waist, jolting him out of his thoughts. Blinking, he looks down at Jihoon who’s already staring back at him with pursed lips, a slight glare twinkling in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

The chattering of the people begin to fade the more farther they get from the resort. Although Soonyoung is the alpha, the silence is intimidating, and Jihoon’s dissatisfied expression isn’t helping either. 

He didn’t mean for this to take a sour turn because really, all he wants from this honeymoon is to connect with Jihoon again, to love him more despite all their past issues. He’d wanted to forget about everything that had happened, but he supposes it’s easy for such traumatic things to make itself known again and again.

“Nothing,” is what he says with a soft sigh. He doesn’t want to ruin their honeymoon. “Just feeling nostalgic, I guess."

Something in Jihoon’s expression shifts, looking a little less harsher than before. He still looks upset, eyes becoming hooded when he looks away to stare out into the sea instead, but he looks more...understanding.

“About what?” Jihoon asks, voice a murmur now that they’re away from the general public.

Soonyoung turns his head to stare at the sea too. The sun had fallen behind the horizon, leaving streaks of orange and yellow and a whole sky of dark blue. The stars begin twinkling little by little, one by one, and he ends up being a little breathless.

“Just...” Soonyoung waves his hand around, as though it would help him explain anything, “...I don’t know. Just stuff. We should get back to the resort — "

He turns around to start heading back but Jihoon doesn’t move. The omega keeps a firm but gentle grip around his wrist, preventing him from walking away. They don’t speak for a moment, as if Jihoon is waiting for him to explain himself further, but Soonyoung doesn’t want to make a fool of himself.

“Soonyoung.” _Talk to me, he’ll say. _”Play with me.”

Blinking, Soonyoung turns his head to stare at Jihoon, not quite believing what he just heard. He was so _certain _Jihoon would try to get an answer out of him and they’d end up arguing like they always do, but this is...new.

“What?” 

Jihoon jerks his head towards the sea. “Play with me. You’re it."

With that, their hands separate as his omega begins taking a few steps back, before he’s turning around and walking away. He’s not even running, hands casually in his shorts’ pockets and shoulders leaned back leisurely. Soonyoung isn’t sure he’s being serious.

A little puzzled, he follows after Jihoon, his slippers feeling heavily weighed down against the wet sand. 

“Jihoon, what are you..."

Jihoon seems to ignore his unfinished question and instead, he begins to walk noticeably faster. His slippers leave deep imprints on the wet sand and although it’s hard to walk, he doesn’t seem to be struggling. The distance between them is beginning to get bigger and bigger, and Soonyoung just wants nothing more than to close it.

“Jihoonie..."

Jihoon turns around but he doesn’t stop walking. Instead, he keeps walking backwards, a barely noticeable smile on his lips against the darkness surrounding them. His eyes are still twinkling mischievously, and Soonyoung recognizes that look — one that says _I have a plan that you’re not gonna like but I’m gonna execute anyway._

Trying to catch up and prevent Jihoon from doing anything disastrous, Soonyoung begins jogging. His feet constantly slip in his slippers from the low tide, making it more difficult for him to jog. He can feel himself start to get increasingly frustrated, but he doesn’t exactly know _why _he’s getting so worked up over something so little.

Jihoon’s still smiling teasingly at him, slipping out of his slippers and bending down to throw them on the dry sand. Then, without another glance at Soonyoung, he turns around and _runs._

For a moment, Soonyoung just stands there, stunned. He didn’t think Jihoon was serious, considering his omega doesn’t like playing games. He doesn’t like beating around the bush either, but it seems as though he’s trying to get something out of Soonyoung, and the latter isn’t sure if he likes how this is turning out.

Chucking his slippers aside, Soonyoung runs after him, feeling the cool night air hit his skin like constant slaps to the face. His eyes are beginning to burn with how quick the wind is coming towards him, but the natural wetness of his eyes dries up quickly. 

Jihoon is a good few feet ahead of him, his laughter echoing through the empty air loud and clear. Soonyoung doesn’t understand what’s going on through his head right now but he wants to know why his mate is acting so...un-Jihoon-like. Don’t get him wrong — he loves seeing this side of his omega, but it doesn’t usually come out so often.

“You have to catch me, alpha,” Jihoon shouts from over his shoulder. “You’re too slow!"

His title has goosebumps breaking out on Soonyoung’s skin, heart pounding erratically. Maybe he has some sort of stupid dominance kink, or maybe it’s normal for alphas, but he has to admit that Jihoon _definitely _knows what he’s doing, even if the alpha himself doesn’t know _what _exactly is happening.

Motivated and fueled by the unexpected name, he runs faster. He can feel his breathing becoming labored, and he makes a mental note to check out the resort’s gym later. He’s _so _close to Jihoon he could probably just reach out and take him in his arms, show him that he’s _not _slow and that he can easily surpass his omega if he really tried — not that he’s unfit or anything.

His arm is outstretched, ready to snag his mate by the waist and pull him towards him when all of a sudden, Jihoon swerves left and ducks under his outstretched arm expertly. His giggles pass by Soonyoung’s ear when the alpha stumbles to a stop, taken aback by the sudden turn of events, quite literally. 

Quickly, he spins his body round and chases after his mate, gaze focused on Jihoon’s running body. He’s not going to let him slip away again.

With a sudden burst of energy, he runs forward and tackles Jihoon to the ground with a victorious growl, his omega’s giggles still loud in the crisp air against his ear. Bodies rolling over thrice, they both end up getting half soaked in the low tide, the cold waves crashing gently against their hips and sand flying everywhere.

Soonyoung’s nipping at Jihoon’s neck in a scolding manner, fingers digging into his omega’s side to tickle him as punishment. Jihoon is wriggling helplessly underneath him with laughter spilling from his lips, and though he could probably buck Soonyoung off easily, he doesn’t.

Then the most unexpected thing happens.

It starts off quietly, and Soonyoung has to strain his ears and lower his growl to make sure he’s hearing it clearly. There’s a soft thrumming underneath his own chest where it meets Jihoon’s, and with how breezy it is outside, he would’ve thought his omega was shivering from the cold, but that’s not the case at all. The thrumming begins to get more vibrant, and then the sound emerges not too long after.

It comes and goes in between Jihoon’s giggles but it’s still there, lurking behind his voice. For a moment, Soonyoung blanks out in an attempt to figure out why it sounds so familiar when Jihoon’s ears begin to rapidly turn red, his hand suddenly covering his mouth as he turns his face to the side even though he’s still laughing. It’s like a lightbulb goes off in Soonyoung’s head after that.

”Oh my god,” is what comes out of his mouth, his growl gradually dying down. “Hoonie, you’re...are you purring?”

Jihoon takes his hand away from his mouth and scowls at him — or, attempts to scowl at him although it comes out as more of a grimace with his laughter. 

“I’m not purring,” he says adamantly. 

Soonyoung raises an eyebrow when he sees Jihoon raise his chin up challengingly, cat-like eyes glaring. 

He’s pretty sure Seungkwan’s told him something about purring before, back when he and Jihoon were still hiding their relationship from their members and back before the first Nae-ri mission happened — how a bonded omega’s purr can grow increasingly loud if the bonded alpha were to growl in retaliation. He’s not quite sure how the logistics works and frankly, he can’t bother to do research on it when all he can do is just growl.

Sure, he’s heard Jihoon purr before. Countless times actually, but it was all in situations where Jihoon could actually control it. Now though, with nothing to distract them and nothing to hurt them, he can see that his omega is just as startled as he is, and Soonyoung realizes this is one of the rare times Jihoon’s lost control over his wolf.

Testing, squeezing Jihoon’s waist lightly, he lets out a low growl and hears his omega’s purr grow a tad bit louder. He grins, laughing a little when Jihoon whacks his shoulder in retaliation, the redness of his ears flowing down to his cheeks. He looks very much displeased, embarrassed too, but Soonyoung is very much satisfied.

Growling louder, he listens with fascination as Jihoon’s purr also becomes louder, and pretty soon, they’re both nothing but a mess of rumbles. To anyone else, they’d probably think they’re crazy, lunatics even, but Soonyoung finds it more comical than anything.

”You idiot, quit it,” Jihoon scolds, but then he’s laughing again. Reaching out, he cups Soonyoung’s face and presses their lips together, muttering a fond, “You’re so stupid."

Soonyoung only smiles and leans in once more, eyes fluttering shut when he feels Jihoon’s plush lips press against his again.

Usually caught up with vigorous daily activities, it’s easy to forget that they can finally have some time for themselves and for once, they can be in their own world instead of putting themselves in danger. Their constant separation led Soonyoung to momentarily forget just how much they still need to familiarize themselves with each other — getting used to their scents mixing, getting used to getting affection instead of none at all, getting used to each other’s touches, and getting used to all the little things that made their relationship what it was — beautiful.

The simmering heat in the pit of his stomach sings softly, not turning itself into knots like it used to. Instead, it’s a pleasant and brewing warmth, collecting the beautiful sensations from their connected lips and fueling more energy into his body. He doesn’t think he’s felt this serene before.

The noise from the resort is beginning to fade away, and despite being half soaked in the ocean, he finds himself drowning in Jihoon. His scent, his touch, his taste, everything — he drowns himself in it, and what does Jihoon do? 

Jihoon engulfs him, drags him into an unending abyss that they fall into together. His strong arms wrap around him to block away all the dangers of the world, warm hands there to turn his head away from all the chaos and destruction they’ve caused apologetically. A beautiful eye smile to assure him everything will be okay, and a love so big that Soonyoung knows he won’t find that same feeling in any other person.

“Were you thinking about it?” is what Jihoon asks softly when they pull away.

Soonyoung doesn’t meet his eyes, opting to lie his head down on his omega’s shoulder instead. Jihoon’s warm hand comes up to stroke through his hair, soothing and reassuring, taking away all his worries like he used to. A silent understanding passes between them, but they still talk. They need this.

“I was,” confesses Soonyoung, barely audible. “I’m sorry."

Jihoon’s hand stops on the crown of his head. “Don’t be."

Another silence runs between them but it’s not awkward. It’s loud instead, the both of them trying to collect their thoughts. Soonyoung thinks they’ve both been working on being more careful with how they speak to each other, not because they’re keeping secrets — they’re past that stage already. Now they’ve reached this point of their life, and just a small slip of words not meant could be the downfall of their relationship for real.

“I think it’s normal to heal this way,” Jihoon’s voice comes first, and Soonyoung can feel the thrum of his chest when he speaks. “Healing is never a constant up motion. We’re gonna fall back sometimes because...we need time and effort. It’s not an overnight process. I think, most importantly, we just need to make sure we’re feeling better both mentally and emotionally than the day before."

Soonyoung reaches out for Jihoon’s other hand and holds it in his, like some sort of support. Hearing those words reassure him just a bit. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling bitter over the fact that they’d wasted time being petty over each other, and like Jihoon said, they’re going to fall back sometimes. He just loathes the guilt inside him when he realizes they could’ve done _more _than just argue.

“I’m a hypocrite,” he mumbles, closing his eyes. “When I saved appa that day of the mission, he looked so broken and defeated. It was like all the happiness he used to have got beaten out of him. He told me to leave him and to just take Joonseo with me instead, that I’d waste too much time trying to save him. He told me he already missed too much, that he couldn’t get back those seven years he missed."

Jihoon’s hand goes back to stroking his hair again, comforting. 

“I told him that we’d be able to make up those seven years,” he continues quietly. “I couldn’t let him give up just like that, but now that we’re at this point of our lives — I sympathize with him. I couldn’t understand why he felt so defeated then when he had the rest of his life to make up for it, but now I do. I can understand him."

“...What are you trying to say?"

Soonyoung raises his head when he hears how stiff Jihoon’s voice is. When he makes eye contact with his omega, he can see the way Jihoon’s expression automatically hardens, and he realizes his words could’ve been interpreted differently. Jihoon’s grip on his hand slackens, and the hand on his head falls away onto the sand.

“I’m not giving up on us,” Soonyoung clarifies quickly. “That’s not what I was trying to say. I’m just saying...I understand appa and why he’d think like that. I mean, we spent two years of our relationship fighting and arguing when it was all my fault to begin with."

Jihoon’s expression falters a little but he’s listening. They’re working on it.

Soonyoung rolls off of Jihoon and lays back against the sand with a sigh, staring up at the stars. “I thought a lot about what you said back in Uiseong when we bonded again,” he admits, resting a hand behind his head. “Me not telling you about it in the first place, I mean."

He sees Jihoon sit up and stare at him from his peripheral vision but he keeps his gaze trained on the stars. He vaguely wonders if there’s another version of them, in an alternate universe somewhere, the both of them happy with their lives and just being in love without trouble. Maybe they’re idols in another life, and maybe those idol versions of them are keeping their own secret too.

“I thought it was a bad idea at the time,” he confesses. “I just automatically ruled it out as not going to happen. I knew you’d probably try to do something about it, and I didn’t want you to worry when we were going head first into a mission. Now that we’re here, I feel like all my efforts were just...kind of like me, I guess. Useless?” He sighs again, melancholic. “I know you can take care of yourself but I guess I underestimated you, and I’m sorry for that. Maybe I could’ve done things differently...maybe I should’ve told you and then...then it wouldn’t have been so hard on us."

Jihoon is quiet beside him, still staring at him. Soonyoung hopes he’s managed to say everything right then because all of this is coming from his heart, raw and pure. He’s not good at expressing himself vocally, but he knows it’s time for that to change, for both the betterment of himself and his relationship with Jihoon.

“You know me better than I do,” is what Jihoon says, voice careful like he’s trying to pick out his words. “I guess...if you were really thinking that way in the first place, then your gut instinct was right."

Shifting a little, moving his body down, he lays his head on Soonyoung’s chest and continues, “Maybe you could’ve done things differently. Maybe you should’ve told me in the first place, but _maybe _things like these happen no matter what. Maybe we would’ve ended up with the same outcome if you told me because like you said, I’d probably do something about it that could’ve landed us in trouble. I’m not into fate and destiny like you are, but...I’m the type to believe that everything happens for a reason."

Soonyoung guesses this is what Jihoon means by healing. Even though they fall back, they talk it out. They’ve never done it like this before because back then, “talk it out” meant ignorance from his end and a whole bunch of nagging from Jihoon. Now they’re trying to understand each other, and that’s the beauty of healing. You learn, you grow, you establish it.

“If you’re gonna blame yourself, you should blame me too,” Jihoon says after a moment. “I’m not any better than you when it comes to our relationship. We’re both flawed here, but we’re okay."

They both fall into another round of silence, one the feels lighter than the others. A mutual, silent understanding passes between them and Soonyoung feels like he can finally breathe. They’re both flawed, but they’re okay. 

“Soonie?"

“Yes, kitten?"

“Are we still Hoshi and Woozi?"

Soonyoung pauses at that, mind momentarily halting at the question. That’s right — Hoshi and Woozi, Soonyoung and Jihoon, what they were and will be. It was what he’d said before back in Uiseong, something he thought would clarify where they stood in terms of their relationship. Now that they’re married?

“I feel like we were Soonyoung and Jihoon before this all happened,” is what he says quietly. “We were always Hoshi and Woozi though, that won’t change...but I think we can find ourselves again as Soonyoung and Jihoon." 

There’s another pause.

“I like that,” Jihoon murmurs. “All part of the healing process, right?"

This time, Soonyoung couldn’t agree more.

—

**DONGBAEKSEOM ISLAND**

**APRIL 18, 2020**

**Location:** Busan, South Korea

**Subdivision:** Dongbaekseom

The rest of the honeymoon goes by smoothly. They take their time with their relationship, their healing process, and they’ve only fought over what to eat for dinner _once._ It’s a huge improvement from before, where they’d spend _hours _just bickering over what cereal to eat for breakfast. Quite comedic actually.

They’re now on their last day of their honeymoon before they drive back to Seoul and resume their jobs, and Soonyoung is a little bummed out when he realizes it’s over. He has to admit though, being away from his usual everyday life and dedicating his time to Jihoon and Jihoon only is such a nice refresher for him. He thinks he’s really gotten to connect with his mate through and through, and he couldn’t be more happier.

It’s now 9:42 p.m. and they’ve both come back from the diner half an hour ago, deciding to spend their last day relaxing in their hotel room and doing absolutely _nothing. _If you ask Soonyoung though, he would tell you doing nothing but relaxing is ideal when they’ve spent the past six days exploring the resort and going down to the bay. 

So now he’s currently lounging about in their messy bed, contemplating if he should ask Jihoon to join him for a movie night for the last night of their honeymoon. Now that he thinks about it, they still need to catch up with the Avengers series. Their late nights staying up is really going to come back and bite them when their training starts. 

About to call for Jihoon who’s in the main room doing god knows what, his phone suddenly pings with a notification.

Raising his head curiously — nobody should be disturbing them at this time — he reaches over and grabs the device, opening it to see it’s actually a text from Jihoon himself.

Frowning, glancing out the bedroom door as if his mate would come in walking any minute, he opens the text curiously. The confusion only grows bigger when he sees it’s a picture of..._something _he can’t exactly name. It looks to be a zoomed in shot of _something_, but when he attempts to zoom out and see what it is, the picture goes back to the text screen. 

_Did he screenshot something?_ he thinks to himself. _He can’t possibly send this to me on accident._

Then Jihoon sends another picture and this time it seems the picture is zoomed out a little more. From what Soonyoung can make out, it’s definitely a solid. There’s a black curve at the top and a black rectangle on the bottom, which contrasts with the pale...whatever that is.

_Does he want me to guess this? _he ponders, typing in a reply.

> **My husband ❤  
**[ image attached ]
> 
> **My forever idiot**  
what is that?
> 
> **My forever** **idiot**  
telescope?

He hears a snort from the main room and a low muttering before Jihoon sends him another picture. This time it seems to be a different one, a curve of the same pale _thing_ which — now that Soonyoung sees the white wall behind it, he thinks the pale _thing_ is a shoulder.

> **My husband ❤  
**[ image attached ]
> 
> **My forever idiot**  
your shoulder?

Another picture is sent to him. It’s a screenshot of Jihoon’s fingers holding his phone. At this point, Soonyoung isn’t quite sure what his omega wants him to do.

> **My husband ❤  
**[ image attached ]
> 
> **My forever idiot**  
...am I supposed to be guessing?
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
No.

Soonyoung frowns. If he isn’t supposed to be guessing, he doesn’t know what he’s _supposed _to be doing. He’s not too sure if Jihoon’s feeling playful like he oddly has been during their honeymoon but he can’t exactly complain. 

The three bubbles pop up before disappearing, then it pops up and disappears again. Soonyoung watches it happen several times, as though Jihoon is retyping what he’s trying to text. It takes a while before he actually _does _get an answer, but Jihoon’s reply only makes his confusion grow.

> **My husband ❤**  
I’m trying to gain the confidence to do something.
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
Don’t come here when I send it.
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
I won’t be able to face you.

Soonyoung isn’t too sure what to make of that, much less how to respond. Instead of typing anything at all, he waits, watching as another picture is sent to him. This time it’s Jihoon’s finger against what looks to be a black...curtain? It looks frilly, much like how a curtain would look like, but Soonyoung is certain the hotel room doesn’t have any black curtains.

Another picture is sent right after that. It’s a bow this time, connecting what looks to be two black pieces on either end. Soonyoung kisses his teeth, still confused but definitely amused with what’s happening.

There’s a sudden long drawn groan of, “Fuuuuuuuck, I shouldn’t have done thiiiiiiiiis,” from the main room and Soonyoung raises an eyebrow when he sees those annoying three dots on the corner of his screen. It disappears just as quick as it appeared, then comes back just as fast. It’s concerning how much thinking Jihoon is putting into this.

“Okay, okay!” Jihoon suddenly exclaims, like he’s trying to hype himself up. “You got this, Jihoon, you got this! You got this, you got this, you got this, yougotthis, yougotthis, _yougotthisyougotthisYOUGOTTHIS — "_

There’s another ping from Soonyoung’s phone but the alpha is too busy trying to peer into the main room with concern. From what he can see, he can only see Jihoon’s feet dangling off the couch, constantly moving back and forth as though he wants to kick something.

It’s when Jihoon lets out another drawn out, “FUUUUUUUCK!” does Soonyoung swing his legs over the bed and stands up, ready to see what’s wrong with his omega when his phone pings again.

> **My husband ❤**  
LOOK AT IT YOU IDIOT
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
BUT DONT COME HERE 
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
OH FMYGOFJD
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
ARE YOU LOOKIGN ATT I?????
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
MOFG DONT COME HERE
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
IM LTIERLALY GONNA RUN AWYA
> 
> **My husband ❤**  
DELETEDLETEDLETELDETEDELETE

Frowning at the onslaught of messages, Soonyoung doesn’t realize what Jihoon is freaking out about until he scrolls up.

His mouth goes _dry._

Oh.

It’s Jihoon.

In lingerie.

_Oh._

”Holy shit,” he blurts, ignoring Jihoon’s scream in the other room. “Jihoon, this is...you actually — _holy shit_."

Bracing himself against the dresser, Soonyoung taps on the picture to better see what exactly Jihoon is wearing. Never in his life would he think his omega had done this on his own will despite some embarrassment, and never in his life would he think _sweatpants _would be so constricting until now.

It’s a black two-piece set, lacy and definitely _not _a black curtain Soonyoung thought it was. Although it does cover a fair portion of Jihoon’s body — especially the vulnerable areas — it also shows a _lot _of skin as well, and Soonyoung tries not to mind his semi when he licks his dry lips.

It hugs Jihoon’s body _beautifully_, and Soonyoung can’t help but admire how confident his omega looks in the photo. Hip cocked out and hand on his waist, his kitten has a fierce look in his eyes, lips curled up in a pleased smirk. He’s not hiding his scar, Soonyoung realizes, when he sees the asset displayed on Jihoon’s abdomen, unhidden.

The scar is what has his breath hitching.

_Fuck, _he thinks, unconsciously gripping his phone tighter. _What the hell did I do in my past life to deserve this?_

Despite what Jihoon said about not wanting to face him, he stands up again and sets his phone back on the dresser. Quietly, he pads into the main room and peers over the couch, a little amused when he sees Jihoon’s face stuffed into a pillow, ears completely red and fists clenched tightly around the fabric. He’s definitely regretting his decision.

“I said ‘on’t come ‘ere,” Jihoon mumbles, more of a whine than a scolding. “What’re you doin’?"

“Baby,” Soonyoung says, draping himself over Jihoon’s back and grunting when he accidentally presses his semi against his thigh. “You can’t expect me _not _to come here when you send me something like that. You’re so naughty, kitten."

Jihoon lets out another whine, then mumbles something Soonyoung can’t hear. 

“Hmm?"

“...m’re on m’re fobe..."

“What? Babe, I can’t hear you."

“I said...have m’re on my phobe..."

Soonyoung nips at his ear. “Louder, Hoonie."

Jihoon doesn’t take his head out of the pillow but Soonyoung can see his ears become noticeably more red. His omega twists his wrist around in a pathetic attempt to slap his face, but he moves away easily, instead nipping at Jihoon’s other ear. 

It’s quiet for a moment, even when Soonyoung resorts to planting small, wet kisses down Jihoon’s neck. He can feel the heat radiating off his omega, how _embarrassed _he is to be sending something so...seductive. It fills him with glee, not because Jihoon’s humiliated, but rather, because his kitten is beginning to feel more confident in himself. Well, as confident as he is now. Slow and steady.

“I said — “ Jihoon starts, then falters right away. His voice becomes quiet again. “I said...I have more...more pictures...on my phone..."

Soonyoung stops his affections, pulling away abruptly. He rubs his face with a low groan, trying to get rid of any mental images his mind is trying to create for him. He can feel his _downstairs _begin to turn into an _upstairs _at the thought and he tries not to move too much.

“I...” he starts, trailing off with another groan. “Fuck. Can I...?"

_Can I see?_

Jihoon lets out another mumbled reply Soonyoung can’t be bothered to make out. Leaning forward, he reaches over for Jihoon’s phone on the little coffee table and drapes himself over his omega once again, entering the password — _0615_ — before slotting his chin back on Jihoon’s shoulder. 

“I’m gonna look at them,” he warns, waiting for a moment to see if Jihoon would refuse. When his omega grunts in reply, he taps on the camera app and _oh — fuck._

“Shit,” he says, almost breathless.

For a moment, he’s not exactly sure where to start. Overwhelmed, he scrolls up slowly, eyes falling on each picture for a few seconds before moving onto the row above. From pink to black to blue to red, Jihoon looks _fucking hot _in each set, especially when his poses give off similar vibes — confident, fierce, smug. His kitten definitely has claws.

Soonyoung wants to _ravish _Jihoon, take him apart little by little until he’s reduced his omega into a mess of tears and slick. He wants to leave love bites everywhere he can — Jihoon's neck, his chest, his shoulders, his thighs, _everywhere. _Dominate, that’s what his instincts are telling him, dominate his omega until all Jihoon can remember is his name and his title.

Slowly, movements careful and almost calculated, he presses ‘select’ and drags his thumb over all the photos, then proceeds to send it to his contact. Only momentarily satisfied, he sets Jihoon’s phone back down on the table and sits back on the end of the couch, covering his mouth and staring hard at Jihoon’s back.

He watches Jihoon hesitantly peek out at him from the pillow, face completely coated in a lovely shade of red. A complete contrast to what Soonyoung had seen earlier.

“Stop staring, oh my god,” Jihoon mumbles, looking away in embarrassment. “You should see how dark your eyes are right now."

“That’s not something I can really help, can I?” Soonyoung grumbles. There’s a change in his voice now — a little bit deeper, raspy. He definitely is being affected right now.

Jihoon moves then, slowly, until he’s sitting on the other end of the couch and facing Soonyoung. He’s got a pillow between his chest and legs, which are drawn up and making him look much smaller than he really is. It’s such a stark contrast to the pictures on his phone, Soonyoung still can’t believe he’d managed to see him in such a thing.

“I have — “ Jihoon begins, seemingly glaring at Soonyoung. “I’m actually..."

With a frustrated groan, Jihoon suddenly moves the pillow aside a little with an even more embarrassed expression, the redness from his face beginning to stain his neck. Soonyoung watches, eyes narrowing when Jihoon suddenly tugs the side of his sweatpants down _ever _so slightly to reveal the _fucking black thong. _

Soonyoung inhales sharply, nearly choking on how quick he’d taken his air in. He stands up abruptly, taking a step back and covering his mouth. He can feel his fingers beginning to shake from the amount of control he’s trying to keep in, lips pursing behind his hand as his eyes zero in on the lacy piece.

Although Jihoon hadn’t revealed the whole thing to him, his mind is already running wild at the sight of the lace against Jihoon’s pale skin. He doesn’t need to look down to know a tent had already fully formed in his sweatpants.

“Fuck,” he cusses, running a hand through his hair. “When did you — have you — did you have this on this whole time?"

“I put this on in the morning,” Jihoon says dryly, still blushing. “I was...trying to gain the confidence to tell you throughout the day but...I backed out every time because it was too hard."

“_I’m_ hard,” Soonyoung says flatly to him, not even bothering to hide his arousal at this point. “Jihoon. I’m fucking _hard _for you."

Jihoon groans, sinking down on the couch until his back meets the armrest. He’s covering his face, ears red and eyes peeking out from between his fingers shyly, as though all the confidence from earlier had drained away entirely. Soonyoung doesn’t know what there is to be embarrassed about — his omega is gorgeous.

”Why do you have to say that like _that?” _Jihoon questions. “Oh my god, you have no shame."

Soonyoung swiftly clambers over the couch and straddles his omega, leaning down to his ear and murmuring, “Tell me to shower so I can take care of myself instead.” 

_Tell me if you don’t want this._

Slowly, Jihoon takes his hands away from his face, blush still on his cheeks but lessened noticeably. He turns his head until they’re both looking at each other properly, eyes piercing into Soonyoung’s as he licks his lips, painting them a more vibrant pink hue that has the heat in Soonyoung’s stomach coiling.

“And...if I want to take care of you?” Jihoon whispers, not breaking their eye contact. “And you want to take care of me?"

_And if I want this...? And you want the same thing?_

”Then we can,” he responds, their lips just _barely _brushing.

_Then we can._

All it takes is Jihoon to wrap his arms around his neck, hips canting up and pressing _ever _so gently against his erection, and a soft whisper of, “So take me then,” for Soonyoung to break out of his control. 

Surging forward, he presses their lips together gently at first, which inevitably becomes rougher the more impatient he gets. Jihoon lets out a noise mixed between a gasp and a moan, his arms tightening around the alpha’s shoulders and tugging him down slightly. Soonyoung takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into Jihoon’s mouth, squeezing his omega’s waist when he hears him whimper in retaliation.

It’s heated and steamy with absolutely no space between them. They’re like magnets, pressing up against each other until not an inch of air is left between their bodies. Soonyoung feels warm, so incredibly warm, and there’s something prickling his skin like a gentle fire. The hot sensation in his chest keeps growing and growing, until he’s numb with nothing but Jihoon, Jihoon, _Jihoon._

Jihoon’s lips are warm and soft and slides easily against his, firm but gentle. Soonyoung lets his own tongue slide against Jihoon’s and suddenly, the kiss becomes wetter, more lewd. When Jihoon pushes his tongue back with his own, Soonyoung seizes his chance and sucks on the wet muscle gently, and his omega groans into his mouth.

The room begins to fill with the sound of their staggered breathing and slick lips. It’s incredibly lewd, and when Jihoon pulls away with a gasp, Soonyoung thinks he likes the way he looks with red swollen lips.

“I — I took — “ Jihoon stutters, eyes hooded. “I took the pill already."

Soonyoung groans, “No condom?"

Jihoon reaches up and slots their lips together with a hum of, “Mm-mm,” then proceeds to hitch his other leg up on Soonyoung’s hip and whisper, “Bed."

Feeling Jihoon nuzzle his neck, he tilts his head and feels his omega press gentle kitten kisses against the column of his neck, nipping and licking. He’s most likely making his mark when Soonyoung feels a sting of pain followed by another kiss, as though his omega is trying to soothe the ache.

Hoisting Jihoon up into his arms, he carries him into the bedroom, breaths becoming labored the more he waits. He likes to think he has a lot more patience than Jihoon but when it comes to their private times, Jihoon definitely holds out longer than he does. 

Manhandling his mate chest first onto the bed, Soonyoung feels a shiver rack down his spine when he sees the way Jihoon looks at him with hooded eyes and a sneaky tongue. He looks _so _good like this, with his body pliant and willing to cooperate with Soonyoung’s every demand. The alpha inside him practically purrs at the sight, pleased.

Jihoon isn’t the type of omega to submit when you ask him to. He’ll do it on his own accord because he _wants _to, because he feels comfortable enough to do so, and Soonyoung reckons that’s one of the reasons why he’s never tried to take control of Jihoon unless it’s absolutely necessary. He’d rather have an omega he treats as his equal rather than an omega he looks down upon.

Appreciatively, he lets his eyes roam over Jihoon’s body. He can see how Jihoon’s shirt rides up to expose his stomach and if Soonyoung leans down just a little bit more, he can just _barely _see the hint of lingerie teasing him underneath. By the way Jihoon’s pupils dilate, his pheromones must’ve flared at the thought, dousing the room in tangerine and hints of lavender.

Pinning both of Jihoon’s wrists behind his lower back with one hand, Soonyoung straddles the back of his thighs and grinds slowly against the curve of Jihoon’s ass, using his other hand to steady himself. He can feel his breaths becoming harsher, and he can hear the way Jihoon mewls in retaliation, his omega desperately trying to move his own hips back against Soonyoung’s arousal.

Not a second later does Soonyoung notice the scent in the air change. It’s not just tangerine and lavender anymore — there’s something sweeter, more milkier, behind it all.

“You’re leaking, baby?” he murmurs, prideful. 

Jihoon makes a noise in the back of his throat, turning his head to stare back at him with that same pretty flush.

Soonyoung releases his hold on Jihoon’s wrists, instead leaning forward to slot his chin back on the omega’s shoulder and asking, “What do you want, kitten? Like this?"

“I wanna...I wanna try — “ Jihoon huffs, pushing back against Soonyoung’s front. “I wanna try riding you."

Soonyoung can feel the breath _whooshing _out of him. “I — what — "

Jihoon abruptly twists his body underneath him, and Soonyoung’s world suddenly tips over when he finds himself half sitting, half laying up against the headboard. Their positions are suddenly reversed and he almost misses the way Jihoon straddles him, fists clenched tight in Soonyoung’s shirt and his blush darkening a deep red.

“No touching,” he mumbles. “Just...sit."

Throat dry, words taken out of his mouth, Soonyoung can only lean back and nod, letting his hands fall away — mournfully, might he say — from Jihoon’s waist.

Jihoon bites down on his bottom lip then reaches for the hem of Soonyoung’s shirt, raising it up and whispering, “Lift."

Obeying, Soonyoung grabs the back of his collar and pulls it over his head, swiftly removing his shirt before discarding it somewhere he doesn’t care to look. All his focus is on Jihoon, Jihoon, and only Jihoon.

Jihoon’s hands graze down Soonyoung’s sides, eliciting goosebumps that break out onto his skin like a wildfire, until they stop at the hem of his sweatpants. His fingers slip underneath, and Soonyoung internally smirks when he sees the way Jihoon’s expression changes from calm and collected to surprise.

“Commando, huh?” Jihoon says, tone a little teasing.

“We weren’t gonna go anywhere today,” Soonyoung defends, raising his hips up a little and letting his mate slide his sweatpants off.

”And?” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, nestling himself back on Soonyoung’s hips and brushing their erections together. “I’m not complaining.”

Soonyoung groans at the clothed friction against his bare cock, which is now trapped underneath Jihoon. He can smell his own arousal at this point, and can see the slit leaking with pre-come. He tries his hardest to stay put, keeping his hands to his sides and letting Jihoon rock his hips back and forth along his length. What he wouldn’t give for Jihoon to finally, finally sink down on him until they’re both nothing but a mess of slick, come, and spit.

Jihoon stops moving after a moment, soft but heavy breaths slipping past his red slick lips as he stares down at Soonyoung through hooded eyes.

Keeping eye contact, he reaches up to deftly untie the drawstrings of his sweatpants before slipping his fingers underneath the hem, pulling it down and revealing the lacy black thong from earlier. Soonyoung almost doesn’t realize Jihoon is teasing him until he sees the curl of his lips.

“Jihoonie,” he groans, bucking his hips up helplessly. “Please."

Jihoon only laughs, removing the rest of his sweatpants and finally revealing the surprise. Soonyoung can almost _feel _him bare against his own erection, the lace rubbing against his length deliciously and making him shiver. He can feel the way Jihoon’s slick leaks on him, gradually coating him in lavender. His cock twitches at the thought, aroused at the idea.

Leaning back, Jihoon swiftly pulls his shirt over his head to remove it and — _wow._

Soonyoung feels his breath stutter at the sight up close. If seeing Jihoon in lingerie through a phone screen gave him a boner, he might as well have come untouched by now. 

Jihoon hesitantly puts his arms down, discarding his shirt off the edge. His chest is stained the same deep red it was before, eyes lowered shyly and breaking their eye contact. Soonyoung can feel his nervousness flowing through his veins, his heart beating just a tad bit quicker than it was before, and his fingers shaking just a little.

“Is it — Does it look okay...on me?” Jihoon asks nervously, hands shaking ever so slightly where they rest on Soonyoung’s abdomen.

“Okay?” Soonyoung breaths, covering his mouth. “Oh my god, that’s not — You’re fucking _gorgeous_, kitten.”

Jihoon’s face is so red he looks like he’s about to combust from embarrassment, but Soonyoung can feel his pride, the satisfaction filling his chest from getting approval from his alpha. 

“Ride me like this,” Soonyoung blurts, unable to help himself. 

Jihoon lets out a laugh. “You want me to ride you wearing this?"

Nodding unashamedly, Soonyoung lets his eyes roam down Jihoon’s body. He could _seriously _come untouched just like this.

Jihoon leans back again, using the tip of his pointer finger to rub at the slit of his cock. He moans breathlessly, eyes falling hooded again, and Soonyoung feels his cock twitch at the sight. He’s so damn hard already it’s starting to ache, and he _knows _that Jihoon knows that, his omega smiling teasingly.

“Soonie,” he mumbles softly. “You can feel how wet I am, right?"

“Mmm,” Soonyoung hums.

He’s starting to feel a little delirious at this point, half of his conscience drifting away from him. Lifting his eyes to make eye contact, he thinks Jihoon can pinpoint the exact moment he submits to him. Jihoon’s lips curl up, eyes flowing a faint violet and donning something akin to adoration, and the change in his scent becomes sweeter, more enticing.

Something in the air shifts, a transition from the heavy warmth into a lighter atmosphere. The warmth is still there, still brewing in Soonyoung’s chest, but it’s somewhat a translucent feeling. He finds it difficult to describe, mind unable to comprehend the intricate emotion ghosting pass him.

_”Alpha,” _Jihoon croons, Soonyoung’s title spilling from his lips like honey. “Will you let me take care of you?"

Soonyoung’s chest rumbles with that familiar repetitive sound. He doesn’t answer Jihoon’s question but his omega seems to understand him all the same. 

Without a second more to lose, Jihoon is suddenly raising himself again, reaching a hand behind him and releasing another moan. Soonyoung can only imagine what he’s doing back there and he can feel himself leak more against his abdomen, arousal heavy in the air.

He watches Jihoon bring his hand back round, which is now covered in a layer of slick, and he feels his breath hitch when he realizes what Jihoon is about to do.

Jihoon wraps a hand around his length and begins stroking up and down, grip tightening every time he strokes towards the tip. Soonyoung hisses when he feels Jihoon’s slick encase his cock, coating him in his omega’s bodily fluids. He groans then, because he knows the scent won’t come off for hours, maybe even days, if he doesn’t wash it off.

He melts into the way Jihoon’s hands tug at his cock, twisting and turning. His hands may be soft but his callouses does wonders, rubbing gently against his shaft and stimulating every nerve in his body like a wildfire.

“Jihoonie, please,” Soonyoung whines, hands twitching where they rest by his sides.

Jihoon quirks an eyebrow at him, hand slowing down. “What is it, Soonie?"

Soonyoung swallows, feeling hot all over. He makes an attempt to fuck into Jihoon’s hand, which proves to be inevitable when Jihoon uses his other hand to hold his hips down, resting his weight entirely on his lower half to stop him from moving too much.

“Please, I want to...” Soonyoung mumbles, unable to gather the courage to say it. “I — I want to..."

“You want to come?” Jihoon asks, swiping his thumb over the dewy head. 

Although that isn’t what Soonyoung had in mind, he definitely also wants to come. More importantly, he wants to _touch _Jihoon. He wants to feel his milky skin underneath his hands, wants to feel every scar and bump and all the tiny imperfections that makes Jihoon all the more real. 

“I want to touch you...” Soonyoung whispers.

Jihoon pauses his movements and Soonyoung almost _whimpers _in retaliation. He can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed though, not when it’s just the two of them. Not when he can already trust his mate. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about anymore.

“Okay,” Jihoon says simply.

“Okay?"

Jihoon nods, wrapping his hands around Soonyoung’s wrists to place his hands on his hips. “Okay."

With the consent given, Soonyoung lets his hands slide down Jihoon’s hips to his thighs, letting himself feel the smooth texture of his skin. Jihoon moves his hips back and forth leisurely along Soonyoung’s length, and the alpha can see the head of his cock dripping with pre-come.

“Jihoon — "

“Shhh,” Jihoon shushes him suddenly. “Watch."

A little confused, Soonyoung watches as Jihoon suddenly leans back on one hand, his other hand trailing between his legs. A surge of excitement suddenly fills him, whether it’s from Jihoon’s emotions or his own, he doesn’t know. He just knows they’re both probably feeling the same thing.

Like a hawk, he watches as Jihoon moves the thin piece of lace away from his entrance, revealing his wet, gushing hole. Slick drips down like a waterfall, coating Soonyoung’s front almost entirely and wetting the bedsheets underneath them. He almost groans out loud at the sight, and he feels his cock twitch in interest at the heavy scent of Jihoon’s arousal.

Jihoon inserts two fingers inside himself, head falling back as his mouth falls open with small pants and moans of pleasure. Soonyoung watches him finger himself, eyes blown with desire and feeling his throat dry up from the view. He wants nothing more than to just _devour _his mate.

“S-Soonyoungie,” Jihoon moans, letting his head tip forward as he closes his eyes. “God, I — I haven’t stretched in so long. I’m so tight, Soonie."

Soonyoung groans at that, squeezing Jihoon’s thighs in an effort to control himself. “Jihoonie, please,” he, honest to god, begs. “Let me..."

Jihoon’s eyes flutter open, eyes dark and devious. “You want in?"

Unable to speak, Soonyoung can only manage to nod, watching as Jihoon inserts another finger inside himself and moan at the stretch. He’s starting to feel his patience running thin. He wants to feel Jihoon around him, tight and pulsing, and his breath stutters at the thought.

Jihoon takes his fingers out with a soft squelch and another moan, a thick strand of slick connecting between his fingers and his entrance. Leaning forward, he takes hold of Soonyoung’s cock and guides it towards his wetness, letting the head circle his rim a few times before finally, _finally _sinking down.

Soonyoung’s toes curl when he feels the wet heat engulf the head of his cock, and he groans at the relief. His relief, however, ends up being short-lived when he realizes Jihoon hasn’t sunk down all the way.

Looking up at Jihoon in confusion, he feels a sense of dread overcome him when he sees his omega smirking down at him. Jihoon’s still moving his hips back and forth _oh so slowly, _still keeping the head inside but he’s not sinking _down. _

“Jihoonie,” Soonyoung says weakly. “Jihoonie, no. Please."

“Jihoonie, _yes,” _is Jihoon’s cruel response, his fingers reaching underneath to all but graze at Soonyoung’s shaft. “You can come like this, right?"

Soonyoung absolutely loathes Jihoon’s power now. He could probably flip their positions now, pin Jihoon against the bed and fuck him senseless until he’s just a mess of slick and come. He could do that right now. He could do that, but he doesn’t. He _can’t _because —

“If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” Jihoon says calmly, stopping his movements. “Do you want me to stop, Soonie?"

Soonyoung wants to cry. 

“No...” he whines, pathetically bucking his hips up. “Jihoonie, please. Just...not like this."

Jihoon only ignores him, lips still curled in that smug smirk of his as he reaches down again and strokes Soonyoung lightly. Soonyoung can feel his fingertips grazing against his shaft and it sends his body into overdrive. He pants, lips parting for air and chest flushed a deep red as waves after waves of pleasure crash over him.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take him long to come at all. All it takes is dirty talk from Jihoon as well as three long, slow strokes of his fingers for Soonyoung to end up with a ruined orgasm. He has tears in his eyes by the end of it all, long, drawn out moans leaving his lips as his cock pulses into _nothing._

“Jihoonie, please,” he practically begs. “Please, _please. _Wanna...I wanna..."

Jihoon all but coos at him, fingers trailing further to knead at his knot and massage it gently, and Soonyoung _writhes,_ back arching off the bed as he keens high in his throat. His head is practically swimming in pleasure and his vision bursts into pure white, ears ringing amidst Jihoon’s cooing. He can feel his heart pounding against his chest from the adrenaline, and his body feels hot all over.

Jihoon is relentless, fingertips still massaging his knot, milking him until he’s wrung out into nothing but temporary exhaustion and pent up frustration. Soonyoung can only breathe harshly, helplessly, knot swollen and firm but locking into _nothing. _He feels somewhat empty.

By the time his vision comes back to blearily focus on Jihoon, his omega is already sinking down on him. The feeling isn’t as satisfying as Soonyoung would’ve thought. Instead it’s bittersweet, a possible effect from his ruined orgasm, and it’s a little overwhelming too, a result of having just came a few seconds ago.

“Jihoonie,” he groans, head tipping back as the heat encases his cock. “Jihoonie, wait...I — I can’t — "

“You think I can pull another one out of you, alpha?” Jihoon purrs, unforgiving. “Or can you not? Shame. You fill me up so well too..."

Soonyoung whimpers at that. “No. I can...I — I can do it, Jihoonie."

“Are you sure?"

A firm nod.

Jihoon tips forward, his chest still rumbling with a soft purr. He looks pleased, even leaning down to leave a trail of butterfly kisses along Soonyoung’s jawline before moving up to peck at his lips sweetly. It almost feels as though his omega is giving him some sort of reward, some sort of compensation after having been milked to the point of crying. It only makes him more determined to give Jihoon what he wants.

Soonyoung watches with anticipation as Jihoon sits back again. His omega is resting his weight on his hips, clenching around him and eliciting another groan from him. His knot still has yet to deflate but he knows that’s not what’s stopping Jihoon from taking what’s his, from _owning _him.

“I’m gonna move now,” Jihoon says, almost like a warning. 

Soonyoung barely has two seconds to process what Jihoon said before his kitten is raising himself up only to drop back down abruptly. A surprised grunt escapes his lips, then a series of curses when Jihoon plants his hands on his chest for leverage and begins bouncing on his cock.

He can feel himself surging in and out of the tight, hot wetness, fucking all the come right back inside from where it’s threatening to spill out. He can hear Jihoon panting and moaning, praises spilling from his omega's lips despite doing all the work, praising Soonyoung for being _such a good alpha _and _letting his omega take care of him. _

Soonyoung is hard again in no time, whining high in his throat as he takes in all the praises greedily. Every time Jihoon sinks down on him, his knot presses right up against his entrance, and he wants nothing more than to just push in and lock their bodies together to breed his omega. Eventually, he begins thrusting his hips up in time with Jihoon’s bounces and the knot in his stomach begins to tighten.

Jihoon doesn’t let their pace falter, the muscles in his thighs flexing with every movement as he sets up a steady rhythm. Soonyoung can only stare at the spot where they connect, spellbound with how slick and come gushes out of Jihoon’s entrance, effectively soaking their groins in each other’s essence and drenching the thin strap of Jihoon’s thong in the wetness.

The friction inside is _delicious_, and Soonyoung can feel Jihoon clenching around him with each downward pull of his hips, pulsing around him. The wet heat makes that familiar knot tighten in his stomach, tightening with every thrust up and loosening with every pull backwards. It makes his thighs tremble with need, the need to come and fill his omega up, to breed him and have him bear his pups. 

For the first time in a very long time, he’s beginning to find it difficult to keep up with Jihoon’s pace. The speed changes gradually but it doesn’t slip from his notice, and his thighs are starting to burn from supporting his weight. 

Jihoon’s moans and whines gradually begins to get higher and higher, and Soonyoung can hear the way his breathing quickens and slips past his cherry red lips, labored. He’s beginning to clench every time he goes down and Soonyoung notices every little movement, senses all hyper focused on his mate.

“Soon — “ Jihoon gasps. “Soonyoung, I’m — I — Can you...?"

_Can you take over?_

With an arduous attempt to get the haze out of his mind, Soonyoung reaches out and holds Jihoon’s hips in place. He groans at the sudden lack of movement and built-up climax brewing inside his stomach, but he slowly sinks Jihoon back down to the base of his cock. 

Regaining his breath for a moment, he angles Jihoon’s hips towards him and raises him up to the tip. Planting his feet on the sheets for leverage, he snaps his hips up, growling curtly when the heat engulfs him once again. He’s relentless, much like Jihoon was, ramming hard and quick plunges deep into the tight wetness until he can feel that little bundle of nerves prodding against the tip.

The sound Jihoon makes is obscene, loud and whiny amidst their shared pants of pleasure. Desperate, almost straining, Soonyoung angles his hips a little more until he can feel himself continuously ramming into that sensitive sweet spot. Thighs burning, lungs aching for another gulp of air, he pins Jihoon in place as he pistons in and out of him, wanting to take care of his omega before himself.

Jihoon lurches forward with a loud, high-pitched whimper, hands shaking as he all but collapses onto Soonyoung. The alpha feels him clenching tighter, and Jihoon’s thighs begin trembling where they lay by Soonyoung’s hips, overwhelmed by pleasure.

The knot in Soonyoung’s stomach tightens again but this time, it doesn’t loosen. Instead it grows tighter and tighter, and his knot, having been in the process of deflating, gradually becomes swollen and firm again, and he knows he doesn’t have much time left until he’s a goner.

Licking his lips, desperate, he asks, “Can you take your alpha’s knot, kitten?"

Jihoon _mewls _upon hearing the question, and Soonyoung feels his quick pants against his neck. He makes a noise Soonyoung can’t really decipher but it sounds a lot like an agreement, so he keeps going.

“You’re — You’re gonna be a good omega for me, yes?” he questions, breathless. 

“_Yuh_ — “ Jihoon pants. “Yes. Yes, I’ll be — _huh _— a good omega. I’ll be — I’ll be — for you — good omega."

Soonyoung speeds up his pace, delivering skillful, hard jabs towards the bundle of nerves. He’s sure he won’t be able to walk tomorrow with how painful his thighs are aching but all his focus is on making his omega feel good. The knot in his stomach is still tightening, to the point where he’s surprised he hasn’t come yet but Jihoon does it before him.

Jihoon lets out a loud, broken moan, body spasming briefly in Soonyoung’s hold as he tightens drastically around his cock. Soonyoung can feel the sudden wetness painting his abdomen and he doesn’t have to look to know Jihoon had finished.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon whimpers through a raspy voice. “_Alpha."_

The knot inside Soonyoung’s stomach untangles at a speed faster than he can process. Before he knows it, an animalistic growl slips from his throat just as he pins Jihoon’s hips down against his and shoves his knot inside the wet heat, effectively locking the both of them together as he unloads himself inside his omega.

Jihoon writhes in his arms, mewling, whimpering, before he settles back down with quivering fingertips and sighs of pleasure. Soonyoung, despite being absolutely exhausted, rearranges Jihoon’s limbs until he’s lying comfortably on top of him, then proceeds to roll them over until they’re both lying down on their sides, finally content.

“Good alpha,” Jihoon mumbles, craning his neck up to pepper kisses down Soonyoung’s throat. “Always...takes care of me, hmm?"

Soonyoung only hums weakly, barely having enough energy to say anything. Instead, he brings his hand up to rip away Jihoon’s lingerie carelessly, tossing the pieces of cloth off to the side and ignoring Jihoon’s surprised squawk.

“Soonyoung, you just wasted, like, ₩50,000. That was expensive!"

“Don’t care,” Soonyoung replies curtly, shutting his eyes and tugging Jihoon closer to his body until they’re practically molded together. “You have more. I’ll buy you more. Definitely more. I promise. You’re sexy."

He hears Jihoon giggle, then feels a kiss against his Adam’s apple. “You really liked it that much?"

“Loved it. Not like."

Another giggle. “Idiot."

Soonyoung only nuzzles into his hair. “Yours."

“Mine,” Jihoon agrees, eyes fluttering close.

Amidst the gradual quietness of the room, it almost feels like the ending of an old book: the pages are yellow with age and the ink is smeared on the last few chapters, leaving blurred lines and a story left messily told. Just when you’re left frustrated and unsatisfied, the author may suddenly announce a new book, more refined and better written but definitely leaving hints of those old aged pages and smeared ink. Reminiscent.

That’s how Soonyoung feels now. Their life began anew just a week ago, ridden of pesky doubts and old fears. Now, although they’ve only made it through the first chapter of their lives together in this new book of theirs, there’s a whole new index of insecurities. Instead of smeared ink to tell their wobbly road, they’re writing a whole new book together, and Soonyoung thinks that’s the beauty of him and Jihoon: their relationship aged wrong but they’re always willing to write the next part together.

As Soonyoung stares at the crown of Jihoon’s head, he feels somewhat melancholic. The past two years haven’t been the best, sure, but there’s an odd feeling of missing those times. Times where he and Jihoon fought until they almost broke, until they weren’t a whole piece anymore but rather, two terribly broken shards. Times where they’d almost given up on each other to the point of rejection. Times where they stopped being whole completely.

Yet, it were in those times where they realized moving forward would be such a big step in their relationship. It were in those times where everything turned 180 degrees, where they weren’t just fighting anymore. They weren’t quite whole then, but then weren’t broken either.

Soonyoung misses those times, but —

“Don’t throw me over your shoulder if you wake me up or I’m gonna be a bitch to deal with in the morning. Also, don’t pull out."

He almost jumps when he hears Jihoon’s voice, now raspy from exhaustion. Blinking, not quite sure he heard correctly, he laughs, the melancholiness dissipating into nothing but fond memories.

“No guarantees. You know I move a lot in my sleep."

With a huff, Jihoon pushes him back until he’s lying back against the bed, then proceeds to clamber over his form with a content sigh.

“There. Now you won’t be able to move."

Soonyoung snorts, wrapping his arms around Jihoon. “Go to sleep, weirdo. I don’t want to deal with a cranky Jihoonie in the morning."

“Dumbass."

Smiling, Soonyoung kisses the crown of Jihoon's head, whispering, “Love you."

Seconds later, Jihoon will mutter those same words back. Seconds later, the room will fall quiet again until Soonyoung hears Jihoon’s breathing get even. Seconds later, Soonyoung will lay wide awake despite his body being exhausted from their previous strenuous activities. Seconds later, he’ll close his eyes and let his mind drift away from him to avoid thinking too much.

Because _yes_ — Soonyoung misses those times where they fought and argued and broke each other, not because he likes the feeling of being in pain but rather, he enjoys seeing how far they’ve come and matured. _Together. _

Their relationship wasn’t, isn’t, and won’t be perfect but to Soonyoung, perfection was, is, and will always be in the form of Lee Jihoon.

(Tomorrow, they’ll go back to work and living their daily lives.

Two months later, they’ll be assigned to different missions to take care of.

Four months later, they’ll have a mission to do together, smaller than Nae-ri this time but still putting their trust to the test. They’ll be nervous but they have each other and that’s enough for them.

A week after that, the mission will be over and they’ll be confident enough to say everything went according to plan.

Six months later, they’ll fall apart again because of their own stupidity but they’ll pick themselves back together like they always do. They’re still trying.

A year later, they’ll both confidently say they won’t look back at their past as “nasty.” Instead, they’ll say they’re inspired from it.

Two years later, they’ll discuss seriously about pups and resigning from the industry.

Two years later, Jihoon will confidently take Soonyoung back to _VENUS _in search of lingerie to wear for a special night. 

Two years later, Soonyoung will complain about the price but ultimately go with Jihoon to the register, because even he can’t deny how much he wants to take his mate in lingerie again.

Two years later, they’ll both be at the register and Jihoon will turn to him and ask for his card with a cheeky smile. Soonyoung will give it willingly of course, because he’s whipped like that.

Two years later, Soonyoung will keep complaining about the price even though he'll swipe his card without regrets.

And two years later, Jihoon will reply back, “It was what I was promised, Soonie."

It won’t take Soonyoung long to understand the double meaning behind it. They don’t talk about it in the store and nor do they talk about it after. They’re in the process of leaving it all behind to heal anyway, so what’s the use of bringing it up again if not to reopen old wounds?

Soonyoung knows it won’t be his last promise anyway, and Jihoon knows that too, but they’re both trying.

It’s imperfect like that.

_They’re_ imperfect like that, and neither of them would have it any other way.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve already said what I needed to in the last a/n, but I’m gonna say it again.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who’s shown their love for this fic and went on this journey of utter chaos with me. It definitely wasn’t the easiest thing to write, much less read, but we made it, and so did Soonyoung and Jihoon >< I have a melancholic feeling now like Soonyoung does, hahaha. I can’t believe I’m letting this fic go, but the ride was fun while it lasted.
> 
> Ah, what this this bittersweet feeling? Haha, I feel a little empty. But I have to go back and fix all my typos and grammatical errors now that this fic is complete ;;
> 
> Before you go, I will be having a poll (not really a poll) on my Twitter @mistehri for those who’d like to vote for what AU I should write next.
> 
> Just go to my page → my threads (pinned tweet) → prompts, then all the AU’s should be there for you to vote!
> 
> Since I have more than 4 options, interactions (e.g. comments, likes, retweets) on the tweet of the AU you’d like me to write will be counted as votes. The tweet with the most combined votes will be the AU I write next! :)
> 
> Thank you again for all your love and support for this fic <3 
> 
> Come interact with me here~  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/mistehri)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/mistehri)
> 
> Until next AU~
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! ❤


End file.
